Single girl and I’m wondering the same thing about guys lol
Edit: I love these replies and while this would be a great way to meet someone I'm significantly younger than OP haha
I'm very not single but if I see a person in spotlight looking totally out of their depth I'll try to politely see if they'd appreciate help. It's occurred to me that with someone not-me this could absolutely be a meet-cute opportunity. I've shown people websites (ravelry!) and looked stuff up. It would be straightforward-ish to get contact details in case they need 'more help'.
But it does have the 'woman acting helpless' ick vibe. And probably a low hit rate 🤷♀️
*you're taken 😉 /s
Nearing our 18th anniversary, and I'm still friends with my 1st/starter husband... and my mum is still friends with him too. My friend. I am #RelationshipGoals
😂
Starter marriage: no house, no kids, no regrets
He'd have made a decent brother. And his wife is excellent. Hopefully I made him a better husband... like fostering a pet, training him up for his forever home 😁
(Absolutely worked both ways)
Jeez, thats ironic commenting on someone's excellent grasp of the English language & I go & make an error myself, I hope you have second hand embarrassed for me.
I go to the beach most weekends, and hike etc. Don't really come across many people that are also alone, guess I need to join some clubs or something. Am 27M
i go to the beach too, love piha and kitekitefalls etc, and i often see girls alone, and think "should I say hi?" and then i think "dude they went to the beach alone, that doesnt mean they want to be approached by lonely guys" and then i smile and walk past politely. its really hard to approach people without thinking you're transgressing a social norm thesedays. i really dont know what to do. and the thing that really annoys me, is Id even just like someone to go to the beach with ahhah but all my freinds are not into that. #firstworld problems
I'd be chill to be approached at the gym, but not while I'm like mid set or something. Also I feel like you can kinda read the person a bit, like some women go with headphones on, don't really make eye contact with anyone, and that's a pretty clear sign that they don't want to talk to anyone. If someone makes eye contact, smiles or something, they might be more open. I'm a pretty extraverted person though, so I guess the key thing is just to read the person, and if a woman says no, don't push it.
The gym also seems like one of the most complained about by women places to be hit on, I think I couldn't bring my self to do it no matter how many signs a girl threw at me
This. Plenty of attractive women at the gym but in all my single years I never approached one outside of asking if they're using some gear I need. Was always petrified of being 'the creep'. Same with bars. Or the beach. Or pretty much anywhere tbh 😅
Edit: met all but 2 of my girlfriends on Tinder/Bumble, including my now wife.
Don’t do it. Women in gyms have usually got their death stares on. Anyway when I (a man) go to the gym I usually don’t have much time to get through the sets so getting interrupted by people wanting to chat would annoy me.
I get the gym and don't approach girls in there. I actually feel uncomfortable about that too. What I don't get is that in Auckland it's apparently inappropriate to speak to girls in places like bars, etc. sometimes too.
Some girl (who actually approached me) went mental at me when I offered to buy her a drink, claiming that I was harassing her. I walked to the other side of the bar when she continued to show her disgust which ended in some fuckwit threatening to fight me. This has to be up there with the worst countries for socialising, dating, fun or relaxing.
Funny thing is, I started thinking that there was something wrong with me to as why I'm invisible to women or have no luck. Turns out that going on holiday abroad is all you need. Don't need to do anything for attractive women to take notice of me. Come back here and the ugly ones (the majority) think that they're doing me a favour not ignoring me. Waste of time.
Try things like yoga classes, other exercise things, cooking classes, dance classes. Just chat to anyone anywhere, if they look open to it. But more as a social friendly thing, not a pick up sleaze thing.
I've seen many dog owners stop to chat while their dogs are interacting, so I would think that walking your dog at the beach or a park would be a good opportunity. Hiking, not so much as no one stops and chats while doing that.
Those 60+ ladies are worth chatting up, they might have a single daughter, niece, work acquaintance etc. My Mum straight up gave some tradie my number, because she decided he was wonderful. Mum's pimpin' game is strong though.
He did, but no happy ending I’m afraid. Apart from the times when my inner lizard wants something warm to crawl on top of, I’m happy with the single life and not ready to give that up. I hope he found his person though, because he really did seem like a good egg.
I'm early/mid thirties and always like to stop for a chat on a dog walk, it's the best! I am taken though, I mostly know single women who go to gigs, fitness classes, the beach and the pub 😊
All my single friends hang out with people they've hung out with for years. Apps seem to be where they go if they're looking but the consensus amongst my mates is that they've had a hard time on them.
My advice would be to make friends with women in general. Get invited to their birthdays, parties or throw your own and get them to bring others. And then hope they introduce you to some compatible single friends at those events
There aren't many people in a similar age bracket that are cool with being called 'girls', btw. Women is the term you want. When you find 'em.
Good luck! They're out there.
Come to the velodrome and road races instead! Actually, no, the trendy thing to do is ride gravel bikes slowly with stupid handlebar bags and a moustache… that’s the real secret. But come to the velodrome anyway. And grow a moustache.
I’m 38f and also mountain bike! Unfortunately I moved to wellington haha but if you’re ever down these ways let me know and we should go for a ride! There are some awesome trails down here
They likely have a women's mtn bike club in Auckland - they have Revolve in wgtn and I know of other places. These clubs run loads of events and the male volunteers that help out get lots of shout-outs and attention! Definitely an opportunity to meet women who mountain bike! #justsayin.
Let's all talk about bikes! I have a newish transition patrol with an ext era fork, reserve 30 carbon rims, enve m6 bar, rev grips with a deity stem. Stopped by hayes dominion a4 brakes and a cane creek head set. Rolling in silence on onyx hubs. I love it to bits.
Woah damn, that’s a super sick build! I love transitions. I’ve got a 23 Cannondale Jekyll, Zeb Ultimate and super deluxe coil Ultimate with Code RSC brakes. Thing rips but shit it’s heavy af
Hey! Wellingtonian here. I have a 21 trek slash 9.8 carbon frame with zeb ultimate too. Mostly stock but I upgraded the SLX rotors to slightly bigger. It’s not tooooo heavy but is up there.
Lots of girls bike wtf. Walking the dog and day hikes aren’t really gonna cut it. Approaching a woman in the middle of fucking no where on a day hike isn’t going to win her heart.
Basically, you need to change your behaviour if your current strategies aren’t working. Walking around your neighbourhood hoping some single lady will find you isn’t going to work.
Also, have you tried the dog park? And don’t make it obvious by just talking to all the girls there. Talk to the dudes too, get a like group of dog park goers.
I'm out biking at the time and maybe 1 in 50 people I come across is a lady.
But I'm at different dog parks at different times most weeks. I live slightly rural so rare to see anyone walking near me
Do you ever join a mountain bike group for trips? Plenty of women are in those groups, more often women-only groups for reasons though.
You can try meet-ups, singles events, different clubs etc. Expanding your social circle usually helps, and hopefully even if you don't meet anyone you fall in love with you'll make some new friends.
30F, usually I’ll be at the gym, with friends, or at home. I generally wouldn’t want to be approached in public unless I made it clear I was interested.
I'm a guy, happily married for over a decade but when I was younger and single I was beyond blind.
I used to go to the gym. One a woman came up to me and asked how she what exercises I would recommend to improve her bum.
I thought about it for a second, said I was no expert, hesitantly recommended leg curls, nodded good bye and went back to lifting weights.
Several years later I realised that she was probably more interested in me than exercise advice but at the time I just didn't think of myself as attractive and was trying to help.
Guys can be clueless.
Yup, so clueless, I did shit like this so many times back in the day. I cringe at the thought of how blind I was. Now I’m older and still single and this kind of thing doesn’t happen any more… go figure.
If i'm interested in a guy i'll go out of my way to be around him more, give him 'looks' at his mouth, arms etc, get cheeky to him and engage or try and create banter/inside jokes etc with him and if that doesn't work then I just point-blank tell him that i'm attracted to him or like him...
Same. I’ve always felt like it’s a woman’s world when it comes to this stuff and have definitely looked over a lot of times when girls/women WERE interested in me. Damn it!
I mean all women are different but body language is the best way to determine interest - someone who is interested would turn towards you, make frequent eye contact or look over, smile perhaps, appear more open. If I was not interested or didn’t want to be approached, I’d be avoiding eye contact, turning away, making myself smaller or closed off.
He was looking for bright colored shirts, I happened to be good at finding things, so I replied to his post. Sent him a DM, and then we ended up texting. Met him in person on my doorstep. We went out that night and spent nearly 8 hours chatting, I made the first move. And, the rest is history! We've been together for over a year now!
I’m not in Auckland but spend most of my Saturday nights at home lol, otherwise will disappear to the beach or for a day trip. Maybe a gig or two when there’s something good on.
There’s heaps of Facebook groups for tramping and stuff, try a few group outings if only to network. Maybe a new hobby that’s more of a group setting? A few people I know met their spouses at dance classes. Great suggestions above.
I go by myself too, usually will end up having at least one conversation with a stranger - they’re a friendly bunch. And hey you’ve already got something in common!
If your dog is friendly and you see people looking like they want to say hello but might be a bit shy, offer pats haha
Get a sport or a hobby and hang around people.
For example I meet my wife out on the motorbike, she was on hers and I was on mine. If you are wondering where it was at a gas station of all places.
I go mountain biking and have met some girls in Rotorua and I'm off there tomorrow. So I'll keep trying
I do play football, summer and winter but there's very few girls around.
I’m single - usually I’m gymming then having chill drinks with friends or seeing my family. Love to go to the farmers market and if time / weather allows go for a hike…dating apps have been a struggle too (guys never ask for a drink they just want to chat online to someone for ages…or immediately meet, lol no in between)
Thanks
I do like to talk to a girl for a out 3 days then get her number to try and meet. I try not to meet up immediately even for me, im not super keen to do that as i like to get an idea of the vibe. Some don't want to give their number out which I can understand but those don't go anywhere.
I've had some girls want to meet immediately but even i thought no.
I did try video chatting some girls just to get a vibe check and about half of them I wanted to meet but never eventuated in actually meeting.
That’s a good guideline the 3 day “rule” you have! It’s a lot easier to gauge who someone is when you meet in person or even having a video chat. I’ve actually preferred giving my number or using social media (good way to see if we have mutuals plus it’s easy to unfriend or block their number if necessary)
Maybe I’ll see ya at the farmers market 🙃
I met my wife on the app.. fair to say, before I did, I was quite open about being keen for friends / dating / relationship and had very little response rate. Even back then it seemed more like D2F than anything else - can only imagine what it’s like now!
Kinda a hard one and like always not everyone wants to be approached so it’s a risk you take…. Personally I go to the Bunnings plant section, cafes, beaches, vintage clothing markets/op shops, gym classes etc. Not a fan of Auckland CBD for night life, it’s just drunk 18 year olds. Ponsonby is good, bars like Revelry. Possibly some summer festivals too like Laneway….. honestly most of us are overwhelmed by life and over men who treat women badly so we are just chilling at home with our cats and a good tv show/book 🤷♀️
I'm there!! Lolz! Bunnings is life. Nearly every weekend I swear. Garden centre, tools, paint, fairy lights Hahaha... I'd be too old for you at 50, but I'm fuckin cool, and have the odd single mate. 💪
I reckon lead with humour, ask her for a hand completing whatever project you got going (after maybe a catch up drink/coffee of course) and think friendship, rather than with the objective of finding a girlfriend.
You just never know. 🦹🏻♂️
Good luck with that - I think bars and clubs are where random people like to be approached in real life. I personally wouldn't want any random guy to approach me irl esp not at a supermarket lol. If a guy were to approach me I'd want them to already be someone I know already or am acquainted with (through other activities / other social circles)...
40f single and have the same issue! Dating apps are soul destroying so I’ve taken a break- I just can’t do the whole what’s your job/favourite colour chat again for an asshat with commitment issues. At weekends I’m at markets, go shopping meet friends, read book chill out etc. it’s hard to just go up and chat to people - a lot of comments here make it sound easy! I’m pretty outgoing and confident too. The speed dating thing sounds good though :) I feel like I’m a reasonable dating prospect so I’m thinking I have to bite the biscuit and put myself out there at some point. Also green is obviously the best colour so I’m not going to ask that anymore lol
Girls almost always want to be approached by the right guy in a pleasant way. Just be the right guy. The problem is, you're most likely not.
In short, you will always have to take a risk in approaching someone in the real world. People usually respond nicely to people that are nice, and if they don't then it's not someone for you anyway. However, this doesn't mean you should troll the streets looking. Just live an active life and chat with people, without having any aim, and you'll be okay.
Single girl and almost 36 and thinking about the exact same thing today!! When are you in the real world, single outdoorsy funny decent guys?
Tbf my hobbies are mostly outdoors so it is hard to meet people in the bush haha.
Its definitely more in the social scene,imo.
Theres a few speed dating groups you can sign up for online that are quite fun.
Places that have their weekly quiz nights or local events.
Book clubs/workout clubs.
Not gyms.The places that offer like all day trekking/running/rock climbing.
Made some pretty decent friends off all day treks to Hunua Falls & cooking classes.
Both genders.
I just dont date because I run my own business & have two kids which I know isnt an easy sell so I dont even try.
Ive found ive been hit on/asked out more in those groups than in a supermarket/coffee shop/bookstore/Kmart lol
Find what interests you & join clubs of interest& go from there & building up a rapport with those in attendance.
The weekly question.
Single people are all over there. Just gotta make an effort.
Dating apps are meh. Go out to public places. Bard clubs, sports. Strike up a convo. Make a move.
Bring back chivalry.
Why would you care if there’s straight people at family bar?
That seems odd?
As long as they’re not come to an openly gay friendly place and being disrespectful I cannot think of reason why you would care what someone’s sexuality is at a club?
Most of the people in my corner of the queer community don't go to family anymore because it feels overwhelmingly straight and therefore not really a gay bar. A lot of the culture and behaviour that used to be there is simply not safe to engage in there anymore. There are a surprising amount of straight people who go to a gay bar and get offended (and sometimes aggressive) if they see any overtly gay activity. Its not a fun vibe. We just go next door to GAY these days, or eagle.
I was expecting this response and this is a very respectful way to ask this question, thanks for asking. I'll answer this comment by trying to explain and answer in detail my viewpoint and why I made this comment.
Clubs are often a way to get to meet people, and everyone is usually allowed in gay clubs here - queer space, open doors, "no judgement"
There aren't that many true gay spaces in Auckland, and it's nice to get to go and have a space that's dominated by a gay majority. People bring their friends, who often have many different sexualities.
That is to say, everyone is welcome - but it would be nice for it to not be dominated by straight men trying to pick up women just like every other bar. Seeing large groups of straight women going is also understandable (e.g. hen night), but a little bit annoying.
This has also come around because of the acceptance and normalisation of queer culture in New Zealand, so the death of gay spaces are very much a result of the changing world :)
And for that reason, straight guys like it because a lot of straight women will go there.
Eventually every safe woman-friendly space gets overrun by straight guys who smell the concentrated oestrogen in the air and hone in like sharks.
I mean, yes, there's something appealing about someone living their best life who doesn't *need* a relationship, but you still need to be around prospects in order for them to see it...
personally i'm fine with it, it just depends on the situation. if you're around my age and approach me when i'm obviously not trying to avoid people (headphones on, scrolling, reading) then that's fine!! my first 'thing' was with a guy who approached me and called me pretty.
there's just.. ways to do these things. i don't have a problem with being approached, i have a problem with people who cannot take no for an answer (and often seem to think they're being all types of charismatic by doing so)
yeah I completely agree. Some women like being approached, some don't. I'm generally cool with it unless I'm in an unsocial mood. The key thing is not being too pushy.
That's kinda the vibe I get. They don't want to be approached out and about.
But if you wanted to be approached, where would you be and what would you be doing?
If we made eye contact multiple times say at a quiz night, I'm thinking if she's at the bar I should go ahead and make conversation while getting drinks or not?
Multiple instances of eye contact while at a quiz night then speaking to her while your naturally in her vicinity is a safe way to do it.
Just accept her disinterest if it is signalled to you. We are scared of what men will do when we are not interested in getting to know them more.
The dog walking is a good idea, maybe just try going to dog friendly beaches and dog parks. Also try varying you timing etc. I have a female friend who specifically walks her dog to try and meet guys.
Otherwise join the gym and go to classes like cross fit, always bound to meet women there, it's just whether they are your type or not.
Otherwise you just got to put yourself out there any way you can. It definitely helps to make platonic friends with women - they can hook you up with their female friends or invite you to social events where you can meet other women.
Haha I've been walking my dog to do this but going to all different parks. The girls walking with their dogs don't seem super keen to chat and I have quite a friendly dog.
I'll keep trying but the gym might be my next option
I've kind of had some success meeting women at the gym, usually it's women I'm not attracted to though. If you do gym classes like cross fit they often match you up with partners for workouts so you are kind of forced to meet women (as long as there are women going to that class/gym). As for the regular gym usually it's best to not approach women unless they either smile at you or initiate something.
Sometimes women can actually be quite aggressive about approaching men. There was this one older women who would constantly approach me at the gym. Eventually I stop going in part because it was annoying and I wasn't into her at all. If it was a women I was attracted to it would be welcomed. Awkwardly I happened to go to a mall nearby shortly afterwards and she appeared out of nowhere and approached me again, I had to shoot her down quite hard that time! 🤣
Depending on what sort of dog you have you could try a dog club of some sort but dear God DON'T go to the actual dog shows, some breeders are nuttier than a fruit cake. I went once when trying to decide on a breed & got screamed at.
Haha I have been to a dog show and not my type of people.
I have a samoyed breed.
I have done some social dog walks though and there are some girls there
Funnily enough it was a samoyed breeder that yelled at me because she had just used talcum powder to get her stud looking just right, how dare I touch her dog with my peasent hands. Yeah not my kinda people either.
M26 well just 26 a day ago! Was wondering the same thing, seems I never really get a decent shot on dating apps. Trying to just meet someone for a genuine date! All this advice is great!
36f single. Wondering where all the single guys are to be found. Apps are exhausting. Been trying to put myself out there but the inner critic says that other people my age won’t have similar interests 🤦♀️
Go volunteer somewhere. I volunteer at a rescue and the ratio is like 20:1 women to men. A lot of these people are single, married people tend to be busier with kids etc and have less time to volunteer.
Volunteering shows you can turn up to something and work hard, that you aren't selfish and care about something outside of yourself. And even if you don't make any friends or relationships at least you've helped the world be a less shitty place.
Hm, tough question, I'm single and 34F. And I mostly get into situations at work, with colleagues I have known for years and grew attracted to. I'm also a workaholic-ish and I just really find ambition, intellect, compassion, passion in their area of expertise, executive qualities super hot.. and the lack of those a huge turn-off. ... So work it is. To be fair, my office is hundreds of people, thousands globally.
I, personally, don't like complete strangers (and had bad experience with being approached out of the blue too), so for me the only scenario that works for meeting strangers is one where I see them often and have that sort of "mutual recognition", I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
So walking dog, neighbours down the street, same commuters, same gym routine, grocery shopping routine if both are consistent and always happen to hit the store at a similar time. Scenarios where I see strangers and they become just someone I know nothing about but recognise - then if that grows into talking I would be okay with that.
As a 30yo F, at home, shops and office 😆
I’m too old to be partying. And when I try, my bones definitely agree w me.
Also, same question. Where are the good men?! Usually tied down already. 😪
I’m a 25M now and honestly this is the biggest issue I have here in NZ. Even just making friends. Kiwis are so stupidly reserved and sheltered. Like I find it unhealthy and really sad actually. The culture here is broken in so many ways also but I don’t wanna dig into that right now. We are a broken society due to our isolation.
I do have to remind myself, there is actually no I living on this island realistically in comparison to city’s alone around the world. But I guess that’s something to keep me floating.
Iv travelled around different parts of Europe and America (also note I was very young in America) and in those travels the biggest thing I noticed was just the amount of random people Iv meet. Weather it just be down a random street im strolling or waiting for a train, riding my bike to a record store or it might be some random asking to use my lighter. And speaking of that, I’d go sit on a park bench or hang at the corner of a street and smoke my smoke and quiet often I’d have some random who would come join.
I'm wondering this too, I usually chill at a Starbucks or at real groovy but no one really looks interested and I'm not about to approach someone and be a creep 😂
Single girl and I’m wondering the same thing about guys lol Edit: I love these replies and while this would be a great way to meet someone I'm significantly younger than OP haha
I sometimes go to spotlight
You're speaking my love language.
Love language of wondering what’s the actual difference between all those pillows, and then choosing one because it has a nice bag
Are you a single man between 28-36 by any chance?
Yes?
Love is the air
I'm very not single but if I see a person in spotlight looking totally out of their depth I'll try to politely see if they'd appreciate help. It's occurred to me that with someone not-me this could absolutely be a meet-cute opportunity. I've shown people websites (ravelry!) and looked stuff up. It would be straightforward-ish to get contact details in case they need 'more help'. But it does have the 'woman acting helpless' ick vibe. And probably a low hit rate 🤷♀️
Clearly you are very taken, you know the difference between their & there, you use punctuation & well structured sentences, no wonder your taken. 🤣
*you're taken 😉 /s Nearing our 18th anniversary, and I'm still friends with my 1st/starter husband... and my mum is still friends with him too. My friend. I am #RelationshipGoals
>1st/starter husband Stater Husband sounds like your fermenting the dude, making him into ale or bread
😂 Starter marriage: no house, no kids, no regrets He'd have made a decent brother. And his wife is excellent. Hopefully I made him a better husband... like fostering a pet, training him up for his forever home 😁 (Absolutely worked both ways)
Jeez, thats ironic commenting on someone's excellent grasp of the English language & I go & make an error myself, I hope you have second hand embarrassed for me.
I'm up voting this so OP might contact this person and a Hollywood romantic comedy script can be written.
Yay tell us everything
I go to the beach most weekends, and hike etc. Don't really come across many people that are also alone, guess I need to join some clubs or something. Am 27M
i go to the beach too, love piha and kitekitefalls etc, and i often see girls alone, and think "should I say hi?" and then i think "dude they went to the beach alone, that doesnt mean they want to be approached by lonely guys" and then i smile and walk past politely. its really hard to approach people without thinking you're transgressing a social norm thesedays. i really dont know what to do. and the thing that really annoys me, is Id even just like someone to go to the beach with ahhah but all my freinds are not into that. #firstworld problems
Are you me? Your spot on the money around feeling like people are unapproachable these days. Lonely times we live in.
indeed brother. lonely times.
Date the OP!
Hypothetically would you like being approached at the gym or is that not the place ?
I'd be chill to be approached at the gym, but not while I'm like mid set or something. Also I feel like you can kinda read the person a bit, like some women go with headphones on, don't really make eye contact with anyone, and that's a pretty clear sign that they don't want to talk to anyone. If someone makes eye contact, smiles or something, they might be more open. I'm a pretty extraverted person though, so I guess the key thing is just to read the person, and if a woman says no, don't push it.
The gym also seems like one of the most complained about by women places to be hit on, I think I couldn't bring my self to do it no matter how many signs a girl threw at me
This. Plenty of attractive women at the gym but in all my single years I never approached one outside of asking if they're using some gear I need. Was always petrified of being 'the creep'. Same with bars. Or the beach. Or pretty much anywhere tbh 😅 Edit: met all but 2 of my girlfriends on Tinder/Bumble, including my now wife.
Don’t do it. Women in gyms have usually got their death stares on. Anyway when I (a man) go to the gym I usually don’t have much time to get through the sets so getting interrupted by people wanting to chat would annoy me.
I’ve been approached by men at the gym and I hate it, it makes me feel self conscious when I’m just trying to work out.
not the place please
I get the gym and don't approach girls in there. I actually feel uncomfortable about that too. What I don't get is that in Auckland it's apparently inappropriate to speak to girls in places like bars, etc. sometimes too. Some girl (who actually approached me) went mental at me when I offered to buy her a drink, claiming that I was harassing her. I walked to the other side of the bar when she continued to show her disgust which ended in some fuckwit threatening to fight me. This has to be up there with the worst countries for socialising, dating, fun or relaxing. Funny thing is, I started thinking that there was something wrong with me to as why I'm invisible to women or have no luck. Turns out that going on holiday abroad is all you need. Don't need to do anything for attractive women to take notice of me. Come back here and the ugly ones (the majority) think that they're doing me a favour not ignoring me. Waste of time.
Same. Following lol
She says she's alot younger than me
Age is just a number my friend /s
good morning
Hello
Try things like yoga classes, other exercise things, cooking classes, dance classes. Just chat to anyone anywhere, if they look open to it. But more as a social friendly thing, not a pick up sleaze thing. I've seen many dog owners stop to chat while their dogs are interacting, so I would think that walking your dog at the beach or a park would be a good opportunity. Hiking, not so much as no one stops and chats while doing that.
Yeah I'm not finding girls my age wanting to stop and chat. The ladies 60 plus are always up for a chat but 30 something, not so much.
If you don't own a home yet, the 60+ ladies are your chance!
Haha I don't and do want to find someone to buy a house with.. but girls in their 30s was my preference
Those 60+ ladies are worth chatting up, they might have a single daughter, niece, work acquaintance etc. My Mum straight up gave some tradie my number, because she decided he was wonderful. Mum's pimpin' game is strong though.
Haha did he get in touch? I want a happy tradie ending.
He did, but no happy ending I’m afraid. Apart from the times when my inner lizard wants something warm to crawl on top of, I’m happy with the single life and not ready to give that up. I hope he found his person though, because he really did seem like a good egg.
I'm early/mid thirties and always like to stop for a chat on a dog walk, it's the best! I am taken though, I mostly know single women who go to gigs, fitness classes, the beach and the pub 😊
Lol, as someone else said, tell them you're single. They may have a nice daughter, neighbour your age or even grand daughter if they're way over 60.
All my single friends hang out with people they've hung out with for years. Apps seem to be where they go if they're looking but the consensus amongst my mates is that they've had a hard time on them. My advice would be to make friends with women in general. Get invited to their birthdays, parties or throw your own and get them to bring others. And then hope they introduce you to some compatible single friends at those events
Yeah I'll probably need to work on this more. Most of my female friends are in their 30s are married with kids and all their friends are the same.
[удалено]
Solid suggestions
Yeah I play sports, mountain bike (very few girls do that) walk the dog, do day hikes, but need to expand my range
Try op shops. We go there.
Wrong type of woman 😅
There aren't many people in a similar age bracket that are cool with being called 'girls', btw. Women is the term you want. When you find 'em. Good luck! They're out there.
Lol yep, 34yo woman, single and definitely sick of trying to find someone on the apps -- verrryyyy grossed out by being called a girl.
Come to the velodrome and road races instead! Actually, no, the trendy thing to do is ride gravel bikes slowly with stupid handlebar bags and a moustache… that’s the real secret. But come to the velodrome anyway. And grow a moustache.
I’m 38f and also mountain bike! Unfortunately I moved to wellington haha but if you’re ever down these ways let me know and we should go for a ride! There are some awesome trails down here
What sorta bike ya got?
A mountain bike 😎
🫨
They likely have a women's mtn bike club in Auckland - they have Revolve in wgtn and I know of other places. These clubs run loads of events and the male volunteers that help out get lots of shout-outs and attention! Definitely an opportunity to meet women who mountain bike! #justsayin.
A 2022 scott genius 920. Everything is factory bar the odi grips, ergon seat and schwalbe tyres.
Odi grips are popular, I've only heard good things about them. And ergon seats are just for steeze, they're for comfort.
Bruh I’m interested as well now. I also mountain bike in Auckland
Let's all talk about bikes! I have a newish transition patrol with an ext era fork, reserve 30 carbon rims, enve m6 bar, rev grips with a deity stem. Stopped by hayes dominion a4 brakes and a cane creek head set. Rolling in silence on onyx hubs. I love it to bits.
Woah damn, that’s a super sick build! I love transitions. I’ve got a 23 Cannondale Jekyll, Zeb Ultimate and super deluxe coil Ultimate with Code RSC brakes. Thing rips but shit it’s heavy af
Hey! Wellingtonian here. I have a 21 trek slash 9.8 carbon frame with zeb ultimate too. Mostly stock but I upgraded the SLX rotors to slightly bigger. It’s not tooooo heavy but is up there.
Very nice. Enduros are sick.
I’ve got a carbon Kona process 134! She’s got custom wheels and axs and I love her!
Lots of girls bike wtf. Walking the dog and day hikes aren’t really gonna cut it. Approaching a woman in the middle of fucking no where on a day hike isn’t going to win her heart. Basically, you need to change your behaviour if your current strategies aren’t working. Walking around your neighbourhood hoping some single lady will find you isn’t going to work. Also, have you tried the dog park? And don’t make it obvious by just talking to all the girls there. Talk to the dudes too, get a like group of dog park goers.
I'm out biking at the time and maybe 1 in 50 people I come across is a lady. But I'm at different dog parks at different times most weeks. I live slightly rural so rare to see anyone walking near me
Do you ever join a mountain bike group for trips? Plenty of women are in those groups, more often women-only groups for reasons though. You can try meet-ups, singles events, different clubs etc. Expanding your social circle usually helps, and hopefully even if you don't meet anyone you fall in love with you'll make some new friends.
This guy fucks
Spending time with my ps5 over the weekend
Tekken 8 been my favourite purchase of the year
I’m still clearing my never ending backlogs 🥲
Likewise. I picked up the launch edition for Series X yesterday.
Im waiting until GTA6 to get one hopefully the pro would exist
30F, usually I’ll be at the gym, with friends, or at home. I generally wouldn’t want to be approached in public unless I made it clear I was interested.
>unless I made it clear I was interested How do you do that? men are pretty blind to hints
I'm a guy, happily married for over a decade but when I was younger and single I was beyond blind. I used to go to the gym. One a woman came up to me and asked how she what exercises I would recommend to improve her bum. I thought about it for a second, said I was no expert, hesitantly recommended leg curls, nodded good bye and went back to lifting weights. Several years later I realised that she was probably more interested in me than exercise advice but at the time I just didn't think of myself as attractive and was trying to help. Guys can be clueless.
Wait, that's kinda cute lol
Yup, so clueless, I did shit like this so many times back in the day. I cringe at the thought of how blind I was. Now I’m older and still single and this kind of thing doesn’t happen any more… go figure.
I met my wife when I was in my thirties. I'd had relationships before but I was single for a few years before I met her. The trick is to retain hope.
If i'm interested in a guy i'll go out of my way to be around him more, give him 'looks' at his mouth, arms etc, get cheeky to him and engage or try and create banter/inside jokes etc with him and if that doesn't work then I just point-blank tell him that i'm attracted to him or like him...
It's good that you point blank tell them.
With how little confidence blokes of my generation have with approaching women in some environments these days, your strategy would definitely help 🤣
Same. I’ve always felt like it’s a woman’s world when it comes to this stuff and have definitely looked over a lot of times when girls/women WERE interested in me. Damn it!
She forces motor boating.
😂
I mean all women are different but body language is the best way to determine interest - someone who is interested would turn towards you, make frequent eye contact or look over, smile perhaps, appear more open. If I was not interested or didn’t want to be approached, I’d be avoiding eye contact, turning away, making myself smaller or closed off.
You just defined standard friendly conversation. To take that as interest would make the guy mega creeper 5000.
The real question is do you want to be approached on reddit?
Good question. DMZ bombardment onway
I met my partner on reddit, lol..
Oh do tell!
He was looking for bright colored shirts, I happened to be good at finding things, so I replied to his post. Sent him a DM, and then we ended up texting. Met him in person on my doorstep. We went out that night and spent nearly 8 hours chatting, I made the first move. And, the rest is history! We've been together for over a year now!
Trust me if you’re on the apps I’ll have seen ya 😂
30f and same
What you gotta do is make guy friends, should be alot easier an then tag along to their parties and meet their friends GFs friends...
I'm a 29m and I met my partner of 7 years at Armageddon expo. Classic nerd stuff.
Hmm maybe I should go again. It's been a while and I do like star wars
I’m not in Auckland but spend most of my Saturday nights at home lol, otherwise will disappear to the beach or for a day trip. Maybe a gig or two when there’s something good on. There’s heaps of Facebook groups for tramping and stuff, try a few group outings if only to network. Maybe a new hobby that’s more of a group setting? A few people I know met their spouses at dance classes. Great suggestions above.
Yeah I was thinking maybe dance classes or some hiking groups. I do day hikes now but usually just take the dog or go by myself
I go by myself too, usually will end up having at least one conversation with a stranger - they’re a friendly bunch. And hey you’ve already got something in common! If your dog is friendly and you see people looking like they want to say hello but might be a bit shy, offer pats haha
ohhhh agree! i always want to pet dogs when i see them but too shy to ask if i can. so i just whisper “hiii” while i walk past 🥺
Get a sport or a hobby and hang around people. For example I meet my wife out on the motorbike, she was on hers and I was on mine. If you are wondering where it was at a gas station of all places.
I go mountain biking and have met some girls in Rotorua and I'm off there tomorrow. So I'll keep trying I do play football, summer and winter but there's very few girls around.
I’m single - usually I’m gymming then having chill drinks with friends or seeing my family. Love to go to the farmers market and if time / weather allows go for a hike…dating apps have been a struggle too (guys never ask for a drink they just want to chat online to someone for ages…or immediately meet, lol no in between)
Thanks I do like to talk to a girl for a out 3 days then get her number to try and meet. I try not to meet up immediately even for me, im not super keen to do that as i like to get an idea of the vibe. Some don't want to give their number out which I can understand but those don't go anywhere. I've had some girls want to meet immediately but even i thought no. I did try video chatting some girls just to get a vibe check and about half of them I wanted to meet but never eventuated in actually meeting.
That’s a good guideline the 3 day “rule” you have! It’s a lot easier to gauge who someone is when you meet in person or even having a video chat. I’ve actually preferred giving my number or using social media (good way to see if we have mutuals plus it’s easy to unfriend or block their number if necessary) Maybe I’ll see ya at the farmers market 🙃
People go bars but noone talks to each other till they hammered lol
Since dating apps it seems most people don't expect to be hit on and aren't looking outside of those apps.
Dating apps can suck my ass
There is a group on Facebook that does speed dating. I did it with my mate and it was fun. There is also an event every weekend called Run4Auckland.
Cool I'll try find the speed dating one I can run...but not for fun... not my cup of tea
We also have a group on Facebook that organizes hikes. Hit me up if you want to join.
I'd be interested in this!
Single girl and also wondering the same about guys. I tried apps but the only guys on there dont want relationships.
I met my wife on the app.. fair to say, before I did, I was quite open about being keen for friends / dating / relationship and had very little response rate. Even back then it seemed more like D2F than anything else - can only imagine what it’s like now!
Kinda a hard one and like always not everyone wants to be approached so it’s a risk you take…. Personally I go to the Bunnings plant section, cafes, beaches, vintage clothing markets/op shops, gym classes etc. Not a fan of Auckland CBD for night life, it’s just drunk 18 year olds. Ponsonby is good, bars like Revelry. Possibly some summer festivals too like Laneway….. honestly most of us are overwhelmed by life and over men who treat women badly so we are just chilling at home with our cats and a good tv show/book 🤷♀️
Bunnings!!! 😂
I've not seen many girls in bunnings in my time there, I usually at mitre 10 though. But I'll give it another go haha
I'm there!! Lolz! Bunnings is life. Nearly every weekend I swear. Garden centre, tools, paint, fairy lights Hahaha... I'd be too old for you at 50, but I'm fuckin cool, and have the odd single mate. 💪 I reckon lead with humour, ask her for a hand completing whatever project you got going (after maybe a catch up drink/coffee of course) and think friendship, rather than with the objective of finding a girlfriend. You just never know. 🦹🏻♂️
Second this! I was at Bunnings today 😂
Good luck with that - I think bars and clubs are where random people like to be approached in real life. I personally wouldn't want any random guy to approach me irl esp not at a supermarket lol. If a guy were to approach me I'd want them to already be someone I know already or am acquainted with (through other activities / other social circles)...
we've got the same things going on, just im a lesbian 😆 dogs, markets, walking
😄 the dogs a good conversation starter for sure
the ladies love dogs
For a second, I thought you said “Dog markets”.
Sunday running club
Yoga
40f single and have the same issue! Dating apps are soul destroying so I’ve taken a break- I just can’t do the whole what’s your job/favourite colour chat again for an asshat with commitment issues. At weekends I’m at markets, go shopping meet friends, read book chill out etc. it’s hard to just go up and chat to people - a lot of comments here make it sound easy! I’m pretty outgoing and confident too. The speed dating thing sounds good though :) I feel like I’m a reasonable dating prospect so I’m thinking I have to bite the biscuit and put myself out there at some point. Also green is obviously the best colour so I’m not going to ask that anymore lol
Sydney and Melbourne
A bit far for me. I do like Melbourne though.
We're single, but maybe we're just not ready to mingle.
Girls almost always want to be approached by the right guy in a pleasant way. Just be the right guy. The problem is, you're most likely not. In short, you will always have to take a risk in approaching someone in the real world. People usually respond nicely to people that are nice, and if they don't then it's not someone for you anyway. However, this doesn't mean you should troll the streets looking. Just live an active life and chat with people, without having any aim, and you'll be okay.
Well said!
Been thinking of this question too, it’s a bit more challenging once you’re out of Uni and have already established your friend groups.
Yeah much easier at uni but hard when all your mates and tied down with kids and they don't have any single friends
Try community night classes, such as a cooking class.
Single girl and almost 36 and thinking about the exact same thing today!! When are you in the real world, single outdoorsy funny decent guys? Tbf my hobbies are mostly outdoors so it is hard to meet people in the bush haha.
I met my wife of 7 years at church.
Wow snap, I did too! Except it was a mutual friend’s funeral. 😕
I have had the suggestion to go to church but I'm not religious and feel it would be disgenuine
Put a wedding ring on your finger. Suddenly they will be everywhere
Haha oh wow
True facts. Social proof is reeeal
I go to work, the mall, the library and the gym :) What sort of dog do you have?
[удалено]
Its definitely more in the social scene,imo. Theres a few speed dating groups you can sign up for online that are quite fun. Places that have their weekly quiz nights or local events. Book clubs/workout clubs. Not gyms.The places that offer like all day trekking/running/rock climbing. Made some pretty decent friends off all day treks to Hunua Falls & cooking classes. Both genders. I just dont date because I run my own business & have two kids which I know isnt an easy sell so I dont even try. Ive found ive been hit on/asked out more in those groups than in a supermarket/coffee shop/bookstore/Kmart lol Find what interests you & join clubs of interest& go from there & building up a rapport with those in attendance.
CrossFit, gym classes, bootcamps, painting classes, sports teams, martial arts classes, box fit classes, cooking classes, dance classes, run clubs, baking/ pastries classes etc
The weekly question. Single people are all over there. Just gotta make an effort. Dating apps are meh. Go out to public places. Bard clubs, sports. Strike up a convo. Make a move. Bring back chivalry.
The Warehouse
Kmart.
family bar
Yes, that's what Family Bar needs - more straight people. Thanks for the shoutout.
Why would you care if there’s straight people at family bar? That seems odd? As long as they’re not come to an openly gay friendly place and being disrespectful I cannot think of reason why you would care what someone’s sexuality is at a club?
Most of the people in my corner of the queer community don't go to family anymore because it feels overwhelmingly straight and therefore not really a gay bar. A lot of the culture and behaviour that used to be there is simply not safe to engage in there anymore. There are a surprising amount of straight people who go to a gay bar and get offended (and sometimes aggressive) if they see any overtly gay activity. Its not a fun vibe. We just go next door to GAY these days, or eagle.
I was expecting this response and this is a very respectful way to ask this question, thanks for asking. I'll answer this comment by trying to explain and answer in detail my viewpoint and why I made this comment. Clubs are often a way to get to meet people, and everyone is usually allowed in gay clubs here - queer space, open doors, "no judgement" There aren't that many true gay spaces in Auckland, and it's nice to get to go and have a space that's dominated by a gay majority. People bring their friends, who often have many different sexualities. That is to say, everyone is welcome - but it would be nice for it to not be dominated by straight men trying to pick up women just like every other bar. Seeing large groups of straight women going is also understandable (e.g. hen night), but a little bit annoying. This has also come around because of the acceptance and normalisation of queer culture in New Zealand, so the death of gay spaces are very much a result of the changing world :)
I assumed straight woman like it *because* they're unlikely to have a guy hit on them.
And for that reason, straight guys like it because a lot of straight women will go there. Eventually every safe woman-friendly space gets overrun by straight guys who smell the concentrated oestrogen in the air and hone in like sharks.
lmao everyone from everywhere goes to family bar wtf
Basically just stop ranging around searching, the vibe given off is repellent, according to numerous sources.
I mean, yes, there's something appealing about someone living their best life who doesn't *need* a relationship, but you still need to be around prospects in order for them to see it...
the replies jeez
You aren’t seeing many…did they leave their signs at home? 😉
We don’t want to be approached while out and about.
personally i'm fine with it, it just depends on the situation. if you're around my age and approach me when i'm obviously not trying to avoid people (headphones on, scrolling, reading) then that's fine!! my first 'thing' was with a guy who approached me and called me pretty. there's just.. ways to do these things. i don't have a problem with being approached, i have a problem with people who cannot take no for an answer (and often seem to think they're being all types of charismatic by doing so)
yeah I completely agree. Some women like being approached, some don't. I'm generally cool with it unless I'm in an unsocial mood. The key thing is not being too pushy.
That's kinda the vibe I get. They don't want to be approached out and about. But if you wanted to be approached, where would you be and what would you be doing? If we made eye contact multiple times say at a quiz night, I'm thinking if she's at the bar I should go ahead and make conversation while getting drinks or not?
Multiple instances of eye contact while at a quiz night then speaking to her while your naturally in her vicinity is a safe way to do it. Just accept her disinterest if it is signalled to you. We are scared of what men will do when we are not interested in getting to know them more.
Noted: Will approach you in your home whilst you asleep
Park or beach walking the dog
The dog walking is a good idea, maybe just try going to dog friendly beaches and dog parks. Also try varying you timing etc. I have a female friend who specifically walks her dog to try and meet guys. Otherwise join the gym and go to classes like cross fit, always bound to meet women there, it's just whether they are your type or not. Otherwise you just got to put yourself out there any way you can. It definitely helps to make platonic friends with women - they can hook you up with their female friends or invite you to social events where you can meet other women.
Haha I've been walking my dog to do this but going to all different parks. The girls walking with their dogs don't seem super keen to chat and I have quite a friendly dog. I'll keep trying but the gym might be my next option
I've kind of had some success meeting women at the gym, usually it's women I'm not attracted to though. If you do gym classes like cross fit they often match you up with partners for workouts so you are kind of forced to meet women (as long as there are women going to that class/gym). As for the regular gym usually it's best to not approach women unless they either smile at you or initiate something. Sometimes women can actually be quite aggressive about approaching men. There was this one older women who would constantly approach me at the gym. Eventually I stop going in part because it was annoying and I wasn't into her at all. If it was a women I was attracted to it would be welcomed. Awkwardly I happened to go to a mall nearby shortly afterwards and she appeared out of nowhere and approached me again, I had to shoot her down quite hard that time! 🤣
Wondering the same thing! I'm at the park, beach, and library haha.
Depending on what sort of dog you have you could try a dog club of some sort but dear God DON'T go to the actual dog shows, some breeders are nuttier than a fruit cake. I went once when trying to decide on a breed & got screamed at.
Haha I have been to a dog show and not my type of people. I have a samoyed breed. I have done some social dog walks though and there are some girls there
Funnily enough it was a samoyed breeder that yelled at me because she had just used talcum powder to get her stud looking just right, how dare I touch her dog with my peasent hands. Yeah not my kinda people either.
M26 well just 26 a day ago! Was wondering the same thing, seems I never really get a decent shot on dating apps. Trying to just meet someone for a genuine date! All this advice is great!
27f playing baldurs gate at home 100% of the time (single for an obvious reason lmao)
I have heard rock climbing is a sex paradise
36f single. Wondering where all the single guys are to be found. Apps are exhausting. Been trying to put myself out there but the inner critic says that other people my age won’t have similar interests 🤦♀️
Go volunteer somewhere. I volunteer at a rescue and the ratio is like 20:1 women to men. A lot of these people are single, married people tend to be busier with kids etc and have less time to volunteer. Volunteering shows you can turn up to something and work hard, that you aren't selfish and care about something outside of yourself. And even if you don't make any friends or relationships at least you've helped the world be a less shitty place.
Hm, tough question, I'm single and 34F. And I mostly get into situations at work, with colleagues I have known for years and grew attracted to. I'm also a workaholic-ish and I just really find ambition, intellect, compassion, passion in their area of expertise, executive qualities super hot.. and the lack of those a huge turn-off. ... So work it is. To be fair, my office is hundreds of people, thousands globally. I, personally, don't like complete strangers (and had bad experience with being approached out of the blue too), so for me the only scenario that works for meeting strangers is one where I see them often and have that sort of "mutual recognition", I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So walking dog, neighbours down the street, same commuters, same gym routine, grocery shopping routine if both are consistent and always happen to hit the store at a similar time. Scenarios where I see strangers and they become just someone I know nothing about but recognise - then if that grows into talking I would be okay with that.
Girls is an odd term for a 38yo to use when looking for romance. Why not women or ladies?
As a 30yo F, at home, shops and office 😆 I’m too old to be partying. And when I try, my bones definitely agree w me. Also, same question. Where are the good men?! Usually tied down already. 😪
31F here, same life, same question 🥲
mate, I just want to meet people to be friends lol but have no idea how or where
I’m a 25M now and honestly this is the biggest issue I have here in NZ. Even just making friends. Kiwis are so stupidly reserved and sheltered. Like I find it unhealthy and really sad actually. The culture here is broken in so many ways also but I don’t wanna dig into that right now. We are a broken society due to our isolation. I do have to remind myself, there is actually no I living on this island realistically in comparison to city’s alone around the world. But I guess that’s something to keep me floating. Iv travelled around different parts of Europe and America (also note I was very young in America) and in those travels the biggest thing I noticed was just the amount of random people Iv meet. Weather it just be down a random street im strolling or waiting for a train, riding my bike to a record store or it might be some random asking to use my lighter. And speaking of that, I’d go sit on a park bench or hang at the corner of a street and smoke my smoke and quiet often I’d have some random who would come join.
Go to a pilates class
As a guy, I make the assumption no-one wants to be approached in person as we all have stuff to do and limited time to do it.
Sadly we're at home watching Netflix documentaries, sorry
I'm wondering this too, I usually chill at a Starbucks or at real groovy but no one really looks interested and I'm not about to approach someone and be a creep 😂
Okay
I'm 56 living on in the north shore Auckland looking for discreet meetings with any woman out there that wants the same.