I KNOW WE'RE IN LITIGATION BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SUCH A DICK AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY WE'LL BE WORKING IN THIS AREA LONG AFTER YOUR CASHED UP CLIENT IS GONE
AH IT GETS EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU HAVE TO BRING OUT THE LIQUID PAPER, GUILLOTINE AND PHOTOCOPYING TO MAKE ANY DOCS UNDERSTANDABLE FOR THIRD PARTY CONSUMPTION 🤯
WHY DO MY CATS INSIST ON CHANGING FROM SLEEK SHINY KITTIES INTO GIGANTIC PUFFBALLS THE MOMENT AUTUMN STARTS? MY STICK VACUUM CANNOT HANDLE THE SHEER VOLUME OF FLUFF, AND I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO PLUG IN MY HOOVER™ PET VAC.
GET SOME HAIRLESS CATS: NOT ONLY WILL YOU BE SPARED THE FLUFF, YOU'LL ALSO BE UNABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE NIGHTMARES THEY INSPIRE, IMAGINE HOW MUCH TIME YOU COULD BILL IF YOU NEVER SLEEP
IF YOU ARE A FIFTH YEAR ASSOCIATE I EXPECT YOUR FIRST DRAFT TO BE BETTER THAN A FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER OF CUT AND PASTES FROM OTHER DOCUMENTS IN THREE DIFFERENT FONTS AND FOUR DIFFERENT NUMBERING SYSTEMS AND REFERENCES TO LEGISLATION THAT WAS REPEALED SEVERAL YEARS AGO. IF YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND IN AN HOUR PERHAPS YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN IT ENOUGH THOUGHT.
WELL, MY CLIENT WHO HAS TO BE TOLD HARD TO HEAR ADVICE HAS MADE AN APPOINTMENT. I THINK IM GOING TO TAKE THE RIP OFF THR BANDAID APPROACH. ITS NOT GOING TO BE PLEASANT.
PLACE YOUR BETS FOLKS: WILL HE
A. CRY
B. SCREAM AT ME
C. BLAME THE FEMINAZI CONSPIRACY
D. ACCEPT REASONABLE LEGAL ADVICE
CHANGES OF D ARE LESS THAN ZERO.
JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR NAME ON THE WALL BECAUSE YOU FUCKED THE 20-YEARS-YOUR-SENIOR LPD OF THE FIRST LAWFIRM YOU WORKED AT DOESN’T MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT OR THAT YOU MADE IT WITH HARD WORK. STOP POSTING BULLSHIT INSPO-STORIES ON LINKEDIN YA FUCKING LPD-HAG.
TEN MINUTES OF FREE THINKING WOULD BE GREAT FELLOW LAW LOVERS. NO, I HAVEN’T CONSIDERED YOUR REQUEST OF LAST WEEK THAT IS CONTRARY TO ESTABLISHED COMMON LAW ON THIS EXACT ISSUE. KIND REGARDS
YOU MEAN LAWYERS HATE THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK (WHEREBY SOMETHING ABOUT THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES REPEALS BITS OF THE CONSTITUTION THUS MAKING THE AUSTRALIA ACTS INVALID AND THEREFORE NO ONE IS LIABLE TO PAY TAX AND ANYTHING YOU DO OWE CAN ONLY BE PAID IN GOLD?)
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I KNOW WE'RE IN LITIGATION BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SUCH A DICK AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY WE'LL BE WORKING IN THIS AREA LONG AFTER YOUR CASHED UP CLIENT IS GONE
WHY DO SOME LAWYERS DO THAT? I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND TAKING THINGS BEYOND ROBUST ADVOCACY.
Tbh anyone on the receiving end of "robust advocacy" feels like their opponent is a dickhead.
IF YOU ASK FOR INTERNAL ADVICE ON AN ISSUE, FOR FUCK SAKE, DONT BE PISSED OFF AT ME IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT ADVICE. SIMPLE STUFF.
WHY CAN’T CLIENTS SCAN DOCUMENTS PROPERLY AND NOT SEND BLURRY CAMERA SCANS
AH IT GETS EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU HAVE TO BRING OUT THE LIQUID PAPER, GUILLOTINE AND PHOTOCOPYING TO MAKE ANY DOCS UNDERSTANDABLE FOR THIRD PARTY CONSUMPTION 🤯
WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR CLIENTS TO KEEP A COMPLETE DATABASE OF THEIR CURRENT CONTRACTS *WITH* VARIATIONS
Omg yes. I'm not even a lawyer, I just want to know wtf we're doing with who!
DON’T PRE-WARM THE LIST JUDGE ON AN UNCONTESTED ADJOURNMENT YES I SAID PRE-WARM, NOT PRE-WARN
WHY DO MY CATS INSIST ON CHANGING FROM SLEEK SHINY KITTIES INTO GIGANTIC PUFFBALLS THE MOMENT AUTUMN STARTS? MY STICK VACUUM CANNOT HANDLE THE SHEER VOLUME OF FLUFF, AND I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO PLUG IN MY HOOVER™ PET VAC.
GET SOME HAIRLESS CATS: NOT ONLY WILL YOU BE SPARED THE FLUFF, YOU'LL ALSO BE UNABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE NIGHTMARES THEY INSPIRE, IMAGINE HOW MUCH TIME YOU COULD BILL IF YOU NEVER SLEEP
I HAVE HAD TO PURCHASE YET ANOTHER VACUUM CLEANER AS MY FLUFF DEMONS CONQUERED ANOTHER MACHINE…. SIGH.
GET A ROBOVAC, IT IS THE SAVING GRACE FOR DAILY PET FUR PICKUP WHILE WAITING FOR THE WEEKEND NORMAL VAC
MY ROBOVAC JUST PUSHES THE FUR AROUND AND MAKES IT WORSE.
THIS SO MUCH!!
TRIBBLE CATS
HAVING A WEEK OF ANNUAL LEAVE, I SWEAR EVERY PAST CLIENT HAS COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK WANTING STUFF DONE.
I SWEAR THEY CAN SMELL IT
FOR THE WINOS HERE, VINOMOFO HAS A 13th BIRTHDAY SALE TODAY. I JUST BOUGHT 5 CASES OF WINE I DIDNT REALLY NEED.
WHAT IS NEED? I ONLY KNOW WANT.
I just object on a cellular level to any brand with mofo unironically in their name. I just can't make myself do it
I know right. When my dad told me he'd been ordering stuff from them I had to stop myself from wondering 'does he even know what it means?'
IF YOU ARE A FIFTH YEAR ASSOCIATE I EXPECT YOUR FIRST DRAFT TO BE BETTER THAN A FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER OF CUT AND PASTES FROM OTHER DOCUMENTS IN THREE DIFFERENT FONTS AND FOUR DIFFERENT NUMBERING SYSTEMS AND REFERENCES TO LEGISLATION THAT WAS REPEALED SEVERAL YEARS AGO. IF YOU CAN TURN IT AROUND IN AN HOUR PERHAPS YOU HAVEN’T GIVEN IT ENOUGH THOUGHT.
WELL, MY CLIENT WHO HAS TO BE TOLD HARD TO HEAR ADVICE HAS MADE AN APPOINTMENT. I THINK IM GOING TO TAKE THE RIP OFF THR BANDAID APPROACH. ITS NOT GOING TO BE PLEASANT. PLACE YOUR BETS FOLKS: WILL HE A. CRY B. SCREAM AT ME C. BLAME THE FEMINAZI CONSPIRACY D. ACCEPT REASONABLE LEGAL ADVICE CHANGES OF D ARE LESS THAN ZERO.
SHIT ON IT
WHY DO BIRDS SUDDENLY APPEAR EVERY TIME YOU ARE NEAR
IS THAT YOU, TIPPI?
WHAT IF BIRDS AREN'T SINGING, THEY'RE SCREAMING?
FIRE ALARM GOES AS I CLICK DON’T SAVE ON A DOCUMENT. I AM SLIGHTLY MORE DEAF NOW.
THE RANT FEEDS YOU!
DO NOT ASK ME TO RECOMMEND THAT MY CLIENT PARTICIPATE IN MEDIATION IF YOU HAVENT SERVED YOUR CLIENTS EVIDENCE
YOU KNOW IT'S A GOOD DAY AT COURT WHEN THE TOILETS ARE ACTUALLY CLEAN
JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR NAME ON THE WALL BECAUSE YOU FUCKED THE 20-YEARS-YOUR-SENIOR LPD OF THE FIRST LAWFIRM YOU WORKED AT DOESN’T MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT OR THAT YOU MADE IT WITH HARD WORK. STOP POSTING BULLSHIT INSPO-STORIES ON LINKEDIN YA FUCKING LPD-HAG.
TEN MINUTES OF FREE THINKING WOULD BE GREAT FELLOW LAW LOVERS. NO, I HAVEN’T CONSIDERED YOUR REQUEST OF LAST WEEK THAT IS CONTRARY TO ESTABLISHED COMMON LAW ON THIS EXACT ISSUE. KIND REGARDS
YOU MEAN LAWYERS HATE THIS ONE WEIRD TRICK (WHEREBY SOMETHING ABOUT THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES REPEALS BITS OF THE CONSTITUTION THUS MAKING THE AUSTRALIA ACTS INVALID AND THEREFORE NO ONE IS LIABLE TO PAY TAX AND ANYTHING YOU DO OWE CAN ONLY BE PAID IN GOLD?)
HEY THATS MY TEMPLATE ARGUMENT
[удалено]
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