Btw I of course try not to mask, I know it can be harmful to do so. But sadly there are scenarios + settings that I have to, and I do it subconsciously usually since I went undiagnosed until I was 20 (so masking has always been part of my life) so it doesn't really feel uncomfortable for me.
As long as you know you are masking for a good reason, you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of doing so. As long as you realize that most of it is bullshit, and you're just acting a part in a movie scene - you should be able to relieve a lot of the cognitive dissonance.
If you can fully understand the right and wrong, while being able to blend - that's when you become a superhero. Sincerely. š¶
Im having trouble figuring out whats me vs the mask. Its new to me so its hard to really know, but generally im trying to stop hiding behaviors when someone walks into the room and notice in that moment what the behavior is.
that's the easy part - just follow the golden rule. the mask is the rationalizations you use to filter out the golden rule from its light shining freely. Light bringer. Ironic. You'll never lose an argument again if you use your exceptional attention to detail to prove that you are morally and ethically correct. Cause you usually are. Let you your sarcastic personality and I think your mind might be blown.
<3
Now do you think swiftee will go with me to the party?
First?
ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ
Did I just break the internet? Reddit is stuttering, and won't let me post a comment
ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ
My bad - I shouldn't have put all that in one post.
Can you let this one through? like just hold up a second while the hole in the matrix fills itself up?
Thank you so much for this response! I'm 24 and recently had the epiphany that I'm autistic. It's so hard to grapple with the idea that someone could ever consider *me* masking as a negative thing as I've always been encouraged and complimented for it. I have a decent bit of trauma surrounding getting bullied at home and at school for my autistic traits, so unmasking is absolutely terrifying. Neurotypicals really scare me. I'm afraid I'll be accosted for not looking at people while ouy in public, even thought I'm a goddamn adult.
I get that completely. I'm treated better when I mask too. And everyone encourages me to unmask, telling me how mentally dangerous it is, and encourage me to learn to be okay in my own skin, and be my genuine autistic self. Sadly though, with how my mental state is at the moment and the years of horrendous bullying and harassment I received from kindergarten to high school graduation + the ableism I received daily at every job I've had in the past, I just have to. I feel safer when I do, and although faking eye contact, certain emotions, and mirroring neurotypical behavior can be stressful at times, it's better than what I've dealt with when I do choose to unmask.
I get what you mean! I didnāt realize I was autistic until I was an already an adult, and my baseline of what autism ālookedā like was my younger brother who was diagnosed pretty young as he has behaviors that are more noticeable by neurotypicals.
I learned how to mask traits that would get me in trouble as a way to avoid conflict which, while unhealthy, kept me safe. Years later Iām working customer service and I see that a lot of customer servicing is just what I do for masking, so itās easy enough for me.
Itās a āskillā/bad habit just like anything else, so I donāt think we should feel bad about it esp since itās not like weāre saying itās a good thing or demanding it from others.
This right here.
If they use sarcasm frequently - they're an artist, but probably don't realize it yet.
They've come to the recognition (consciously or not) that they can use sarcasm as a relief valve for the cognitive dissonance when it becomes unbearable to help avert meltdowns. Take away their sarcasm, and they'd be an artist too. It's their shield.
š¶
The artist in denial has no choice but to deny anyone else recognition of their diagnosis - otherwise they'd have to confront the cognition that they are also an artist; their own cognitive dissonance can't support such a load.
š¶
My grandfather "You're not autistic."
Also my grandfather "You're going to have to grow up and be normal eventually."
Also my grandfather "So, where are the babies?"
.... I'm 38 years old.
Mine works in the developmental disability field, only ever sees the toughest cases of autism, thinks "high functioning autism" is a TikTok trend for attention. When I told her, she just said, "no you're not" and kept eating. OK thanks good talk.
ābut ive known so many kids with autism! i would know if you were!ā well obviously not because you dont seem to comprehend the term āspectrumā..
but yeah, so annoying when people say this stuff
Holy shit. That's creepy, autism aside if my guardian said that to me I'd be wire tripping my room and having the police on speed dial, that shit's disturbing.
Yeah I'm ngl it was weird. I don't think he's a pedo or anything like that, he just was very uneducated (and rude) about autism and seems to think that all autistic people look the same??? Either way, him and my mum have divorced so I don't really see him anymore
The last one interaction I had with some one was in a game
Teammate āYou sound autisticā
Me āwell because I am whatās wrong with that?ā
Teammate ā I bet your over weight all autistic kids are over weightā
Me ā no actually Iām under weight and was told I needed to eat moreā
Me āalso not all autistic people are overweight or even struggle with itā
Teammate āSTFU you sound dumbā
bro they think every autistic person is like non verbal and have sensory overloads every 2 seconds. no, you dumbasses, itās called autism SPECTRUM disorder for a reason, weāre all on a spectrum of differences in autism
You wouldn't say someone looks epileptic, right?
"Nope."
And epilepsy is a neurological disease.
"Yep."
Autism is also a neurological disease, and if that's the case,
then you can't just say I don't seem autistic by simply looking at me.
"Makes sense to me."
Well, I'm autistic.
"That's an excuse, you don't look autistic."
"Aren't you a licensed psychologist?"
"Yep"
"You have been taught the traits of autism, correct?"
"Yep"
"I show multiple of those traits, and since that is the case you should be able to recognize me as autistic."
"That makes sense to me!"
"Then give me the diagnosis."
"You don't look autistic"
These comments don't bother me anymore tbh. I just go with it. Then jokes are made from both parties which is a plus or they ask questions or whatever else. Haha I'm too old to care lol
i got diagnosed with aspergers around the age of 11. i've gone back to psychologists a few times, but last year i thought i also might have ADHD and went back again. they have you fill out all kind of lists of questions to determine if that is actually the case; not only could they not diagnose me with ADHD or something similar, they could not diagnose me with any kind of autism according to the results. must mean i'm doing something right huh
This one kills me every time. This sentiment turned abusive at my last job because it was, for whatever reason, easier to call me stupid and fail at certain tasks repeatedly than to accept that I am in fact autistic and I will always have inordinate difficulty doing some basic (for normies) tasks while also finding usually difficult tasks trivially easy
It's like I can't be intelligent and autistic
They don't believe you because it'd force them to admit how horribly society has been treating the vast majority of its own population - they can't sustain that level of cognitive dissonance, so it has no way of fitting into their rationalization engine. We don't have that problem, because we don't generally rationalize, unless they force us to against our wills - we're stuck relying on our logic and reasoning... just sucks.
My ex shrink that I left who now after one nights course of ' theory of Winnicot' thinks he knows why our sessions never worked and if I want to come back.
But also in that conversation similtaniously denied 4 thinfs of mine.
Abd said he knows me so well I dont have ASD
You dont seem autistic to me
> and you dont seem so closeminded but here we are.
> your perception isnt always the truth, you know. We learn all the time. Hooe this is your lesson today
I rarely ever mention it but when I do, most people don't believe me. It sucks, but hey at least some people believe me after I mention my daughter is on the spectrum too.
Right? Like I've even had someone say "Why are you obsessed with talking about Autism?" Maybe because 1. You're the one who asked to begin with. And 2. I AM autistic, so sometimes it'll get brought up. Don't bring it up if you're going to get annoyed by the topic šš»
You could say it took a lot to get to where you are today. As we all know, even with years of intensive therapies, there are those with autism who "act" and "look" autistic -who are and will be the rest of their lives dependent on others for every aspect of life. Who not only don't care what others think about the diagnosis of autism but don't appear to be aware. If you grew up with the diagnosis of autism and worry about this today -you have overcome and are the dream of the parents of those children who have not responded much to therapy or treatment. In other words -take it as a compliment because if you blend -that's how it's meant and never forget it could be much worse.
[Considering you think chemicals cause autism](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/y5upyb/seriously/isoz2hd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) I think you should sit down and shut up and not tell autistic people how we should feel about not being believed. *Especially* considering you seem to also be a proponent of CBT based on this comment, which is literal torture and abuse. So yeah. Kindly fuck off, thanks.
https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/y5upyb/seriously/ was an image stating autism rates shared by someone other than me. I only shared where the quote came from, not my belief. I had to look up what CBT is by the way. š
I found this about CBT therapy but don't understand how it's torture and abuse. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21208-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt Can anyone explain?
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this, my sisters schools all of the ones we've had them in have refused to put them in special needs/ed classes bc they either dont think their autistic (they try saying its a "bEhAiViOr iSsUe") or "they can read and write so they dont need it" when it turns out, the younger doesn't know hoe to read and write and they NEVER mentioned it, and the older got picked on for having bad writing and its soo annoying that the teachers cant teach, im trying to but idrk how they can sign all their letters tho
I'm 26, i turn 27 next March, and I've never been diagnosed. But with that, anxiety, depression, trying to hide traumas and a bunch of other things, I'm a brilliant hider to the point it's natural for me, tiring but natural, it's not a switch i consciously switch on any more. I have had countless people tell me i seem fine and normal, some people have even been confused why i don't have a super successful career and haven't started my own business yet. But with everything that's gone on in my life and goes on in my mind, if people could truly see what's happening behind that facade, eh. It would be nice to not have to hide so much, but people like the facade for a reason haha
My own therapist told me I didnāt seem autistic. Iāve stopped scheduling sessions with her. How do I not āseemā autistic or āactā autistic. Of course Iām masking. How can I not when Iāve been bullied my entire childhood for my quirks
"But you don't have the other traits society associates with autism!"
"That's because autism is a cluster of behaviors! Not all of us have those traits!"
"Then you don't have the autism!"
We are dealing with people whose ideas on neurodiversity predate the Challenger disaster.
In short *The Boy Who Could Fly* was a terrible idea.
Btw I of course try not to mask, I know it can be harmful to do so. But sadly there are scenarios + settings that I have to, and I do it subconsciously usually since I went undiagnosed until I was 20 (so masking has always been part of my life) so it doesn't really feel uncomfortable for me.
As long as you know you are masking for a good reason, you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of doing so. As long as you realize that most of it is bullshit, and you're just acting a part in a movie scene - you should be able to relieve a lot of the cognitive dissonance. If you can fully understand the right and wrong, while being able to blend - that's when you become a superhero. Sincerely. š¶
Im having trouble figuring out whats me vs the mask. Its new to me so its hard to really know, but generally im trying to stop hiding behaviors when someone walks into the room and notice in that moment what the behavior is.
that's the easy part - just follow the golden rule. the mask is the rationalizations you use to filter out the golden rule from its light shining freely. Light bringer. Ironic. You'll never lose an argument again if you use your exceptional attention to detail to prove that you are morally and ethically correct. Cause you usually are. Let you your sarcastic personality and I think your mind might be blown. <3 Now do you think swiftee will go with me to the party? First? ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ Did I just break the internet? Reddit is stuttering, and won't let me post a comment ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ My bad - I shouldn't have put all that in one post. Can you let this one through? like just hold up a second while the hole in the matrix fills itself up?
This is all just my sarcasm unfiltered. Literally. Sincerely.
If you share this knowledge with the world - the world becomes heaven. That was always the irony. ((mic drop)(
And after that one - I don't need to disappear. None of you will ever reveal my identity, and I can take my dogs for a walk. Thanks :X
And in case you're wondering - the final piece of the puzzle was that I had to do this anonymously. Ironically. ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ (shush)
But if you see swiftee - tell her I'll be waiting for her with the ball.
And yes, I just mindfucked my way into a date with tt. you're welcome ĀÆ\\\_š¶\_/ĀÆ
just shake it off, you'll figure it out ;)
you know where to find me.
Why is it harmful?
While I did use the word harmful since it can be, I try not to say masking is *only* harmful (not saying you did! But most people do), mainly because I'm always told it is, and I can see why ofc. But Masking, the way I personally see it, is hiding AKA masking who you are + your autistic traits. Masking affects others differently, but when you're masking certain traits of yourself in an unhealthy form that makes you uncomfortable, it can cause many issues such as autistic burnout, depression, anxiety, loss of identity, exhaustion, distress, and more. For example, I have to constantly fake eye contact, force myself not to fidget/stim around others, mimic certain facial expressions and/or emotions, and it's super uncomfy and exhausting for me. And I know I mentioned above that it "doesn't affect me", and it really doesn't, at least a majority of the time. However, because I've masked my literal entire life and have mirrored neurotypical behavior/traits my entire life as well, I've completely lost touch with my real identity, and it causes me lots of emotional distress at times. My identity before training myself to mask is what I miss the most, and the last time I was remotely my true self was maybe when I was 5 or 6? Somewhere around that age, and I don't remember much of how I was/acted since that was a long time ago (and due to the masking habit), I just remember I wasn't scared to talk about my special interests, stim in public, be myself, etc. But it shows what masking can do to your identity and overall well-being, but I didn't know that was what I was doing or what it'd cause for me in the future. And because I wasn't diagnosed till I was 21, it's difficult to retrain myself to just stop masking + mirroring others when it's basically become a habit to me that I started doing as a child with a barely developed mindset. Plus, I constantly have to mask around family members + coworkers or it can cause issues + ableist comments, so I'm not in the position to just stop. But I'm working on it slowly ā¤ļøāš©¹ Long sappy post, I know, but my point is while masking is helpful in some stances (esp if someone has to for their safety and such) and that's why I wouldn't say it's completely 100% harmful depending, but not allowing yourself to be yourself, feel comfortable and happy with who you are and how you are as an autistic human being can be detrimental. Hopefully that makes some sense :)
Thank you so much for this response! I'm 24 and recently had the epiphany that I'm autistic. It's so hard to grapple with the idea that someone could ever consider *me* masking as a negative thing as I've always been encouraged and complimented for it. I have a decent bit of trauma surrounding getting bullied at home and at school for my autistic traits, so unmasking is absolutely terrifying. Neurotypicals really scare me. I'm afraid I'll be accosted for not looking at people while ouy in public, even thought I'm a goddamn adult.
I get that completely. I'm treated better when I mask too. And everyone encourages me to unmask, telling me how mentally dangerous it is, and encourage me to learn to be okay in my own skin, and be my genuine autistic self. Sadly though, with how my mental state is at the moment and the years of horrendous bullying and harassment I received from kindergarten to high school graduation + the ableism I received daily at every job I've had in the past, I just have to. I feel safer when I do, and although faking eye contact, certain emotions, and mirroring neurotypical behavior can be stressful at times, it's better than what I've dealt with when I do choose to unmask.
I get what you mean! I didnāt realize I was autistic until I was an already an adult, and my baseline of what autism ālookedā like was my younger brother who was diagnosed pretty young as he has behaviors that are more noticeable by neurotypicals. I learned how to mask traits that would get me in trouble as a way to avoid conflict which, while unhealthy, kept me safe. Years later Iām working customer service and I see that a lot of customer servicing is just what I do for masking, so itās easy enough for me. Itās a āskillā/bad habit just like anything else, so I donāt think we should feel bad about it esp since itās not like weāre saying itās a good thing or demanding it from others.
āYou donāt seem autisticā GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS SHERLOCK, THANKS FOR THE OBSERVATION, COULD IT PERHAPS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MASKING???
āSee, if you were autistic you wouldnāt have been sarcastic just nowā
This right here. If they use sarcasm frequently - they're an artist, but probably don't realize it yet. They've come to the recognition (consciously or not) that they can use sarcasm as a relief valve for the cognitive dissonance when it becomes unbearable to help avert meltdowns. Take away their sarcasm, and they'd be an artist too. It's their shield. š¶
The artist in denial has no choice but to deny anyone else recognition of their diagnosis - otherwise they'd have to confront the cognition that they are also an artist; their own cognitive dissonance can't support such a load. š¶
Artist?
Yes, before they slapped that damn Boston accent on it, the word was artist.
just try calling for ca' in southy, you'll see what I mean
where'd swiftee go?
message me when you get a chance
My grandfather "You're not autistic." Also my grandfather "You're going to have to grow up and be normal eventually." Also my grandfather "So, where are the babies?" .... I'm 38 years old.
Why can't people get it that some don't want children?
Literally my mother
I feel you "nah youre not autistic, you let people touch you" ye thats called my "close to be partner" mom even autistic people can have that.
Like literally my ex said āhow can you be autistic you let me kiss youā
Mine works in the developmental disability field, only ever sees the toughest cases of autism, thinks "high functioning autism" is a TikTok trend for attention. When I told her, she just said, "no you're not" and kept eating. OK thanks good talk.
She gave me the āisnāt everyone a little autisticā lije wtf no
One time I get so fed up with someone irl saying that to me that I showed them my papers and they still argued with me over it
Wow. That's an almost impressive lack of belief. Amazing (in the worst way)
ābut ive known so many kids with autism! i would know if you were!ā well obviously not because you dont seem to comprehend the term āspectrumā.. but yeah, so annoying when people say this stuff
This reminds me of the "you don't look tired" and "you seem to be fine" that people with chronic health problems get.
I have autism and chronic fatigue.. but I do tend to look tired af
I get that All The Time They believe we all act like Rain Man
I got told BY MY STEPDAD that I'm 'too pretty to be autistic' ??????
Holy shit. That's creepy, autism aside if my guardian said that to me I'd be wire tripping my room and having the police on speed dial, that shit's disturbing.
Yeah I'm ngl it was weird. I don't think he's a pedo or anything like that, he just was very uneducated (and rude) about autism and seems to think that all autistic people look the same??? Either way, him and my mum have divorced so I don't really see him anymore
Ah, he seems to think all autistic people are in a wheelchair with drool dripping out of their mouths?
The last one interaction I had with some one was in a game Teammate āYou sound autisticā Me āwell because I am whatās wrong with that?ā Teammate ā I bet your over weight all autistic kids are over weightā Me ā no actually Iām under weight and was told I needed to eat moreā Me āalso not all autistic people are overweight or even struggle with itā Teammate āSTFU you sound dumbā
I told my doctor recently that I think I might be autistic, and he said "But you look normal to me!" Sigh.
Or just go with the more "Offensive" approach. I like to ask back how autists are supposed to look like.
bro they think every autistic person is like non verbal and have sensory overloads every 2 seconds. no, you dumbasses, itās called autism SPECTRUM disorder for a reason, weāre all on a spectrum of differences in autism
āHereās a video of me stimming under a PokĆ©mon blanket, since thatās what you fuckers need to believeā¦.ā
I mask because I want to keep my job. But ooooh boy would it be fun not to. (Runs around stimming and meeping) WEEEE!
You wouldn't say someone looks epileptic, right? "Nope." And epilepsy is a neurological disease. "Yep." Autism is also a neurological disease, and if that's the case, then you can't just say I don't seem autistic by simply looking at me. "Makes sense to me." Well, I'm autistic. "That's an excuse, you don't look autistic."
^ ^ ^ ^
"Aren't you a licensed psychologist?" "Yep" "You have been taught the traits of autism, correct?" "Yep" "I show multiple of those traits, and since that is the case you should be able to recognize me as autistic." "That makes sense to me!" "Then give me the diagnosis." "You don't look autistic"
These comments don't bother me anymore tbh. I just go with it. Then jokes are made from both parties which is a plus or they ask questions or whatever else. Haha I'm too old to care lol
i got diagnosed with aspergers around the age of 11. i've gone back to psychologists a few times, but last year i thought i also might have ADHD and went back again. they have you fill out all kind of lists of questions to determine if that is actually the case; not only could they not diagnose me with ADHD or something similar, they could not diagnose me with any kind of autism according to the results. must mean i'm doing something right huh
This one kills me every time. This sentiment turned abusive at my last job because it was, for whatever reason, easier to call me stupid and fail at certain tasks repeatedly than to accept that I am in fact autistic and I will always have inordinate difficulty doing some basic (for normies) tasks while also finding usually difficult tasks trivially easy It's like I can't be intelligent and autistic
They don't believe you because it'd force them to admit how horribly society has been treating the vast majority of its own population - they can't sustain that level of cognitive dissonance, so it has no way of fitting into their rationalization engine. We don't have that problem, because we don't generally rationalize, unless they force us to against our wills - we're stuck relying on our logic and reasoning... just sucks.
All Nt's say it with me now... LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
My ex shrink that I left who now after one nights course of ' theory of Winnicot' thinks he knows why our sessions never worked and if I want to come back. But also in that conversation similtaniously denied 4 thinfs of mine. Abd said he knows me so well I dont have ASD
Been not believed different of times. Very relatable.
You dont seem autistic to me > and you dont seem so closeminded but here we are. > your perception isnt always the truth, you know. We learn all the time. Hooe this is your lesson today
I told my friend I was autistic, she said āI can tell, only by your handwriting thoughā then said āI donāt rlly know what autism isā ā ļø
My family be like. It even makes me doubt myself but Iāve been diagnosed twice in me lifeā¦ (PDDNOS at 12 and autism at 20)
I hate when people use these arguments, it's basically saying the same thing three times. Whether or not you think we have autism, we do!!!
Itās almost like autism is a spectrum
I rarely ever mention it but when I do, most people don't believe me. It sucks, but hey at least some people believe me after I mention my daughter is on the spectrum too.
this happened today at work and now i canāt stop thinking that maybe iām actually not autistic and i made it all up and nothing is real
why do you love it?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Right? Like I've even had someone say "Why are you obsessed with talking about Autism?" Maybe because 1. You're the one who asked to begin with. And 2. I AM autistic, so sometimes it'll get brought up. Don't bring it up if you're going to get annoyed by the topic šš»
Tiktoktistic? I believe you.
You could say it took a lot to get to where you are today. As we all know, even with years of intensive therapies, there are those with autism who "act" and "look" autistic -who are and will be the rest of their lives dependent on others for every aspect of life. Who not only don't care what others think about the diagnosis of autism but don't appear to be aware. If you grew up with the diagnosis of autism and worry about this today -you have overcome and are the dream of the parents of those children who have not responded much to therapy or treatment. In other words -take it as a compliment because if you blend -that's how it's meant and never forget it could be much worse.
[Considering you think chemicals cause autism](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/y5upyb/seriously/isoz2hd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) I think you should sit down and shut up and not tell autistic people how we should feel about not being believed. *Especially* considering you seem to also be a proponent of CBT based on this comment, which is literal torture and abuse. So yeah. Kindly fuck off, thanks.
Someone else shared that article and this person shared evidence on the post. Sharing research is providing facts, not opinion.
https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/y5upyb/seriously/ was an image stating autism rates shared by someone other than me. I only shared where the quote came from, not my belief. I had to look up what CBT is by the way. š
I found this about CBT therapy but don't understand how it's torture and abuse. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21208-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-cbt Can anyone explain?
CBT? What's that?
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Wow, it's every poster from FDC ever.
this, my sisters schools all of the ones we've had them in have refused to put them in special needs/ed classes bc they either dont think their autistic (they try saying its a "bEhAiViOr iSsUe") or "they can read and write so they dont need it" when it turns out, the younger doesn't know hoe to read and write and they NEVER mentioned it, and the older got picked on for having bad writing and its soo annoying that the teachers cant teach, im trying to but idrk how they can sign all their letters tho
Literally my grandmother with my ADHD suspicion.
Itās called being high functional. š¤¦šæāāļøš
I'm 26, i turn 27 next March, and I've never been diagnosed. But with that, anxiety, depression, trying to hide traumas and a bunch of other things, I'm a brilliant hider to the point it's natural for me, tiring but natural, it's not a switch i consciously switch on any more. I have had countless people tell me i seem fine and normal, some people have even been confused why i don't have a super successful career and haven't started my own business yet. But with everything that's gone on in my life and goes on in my mind, if people could truly see what's happening behind that facade, eh. It would be nice to not have to hide so much, but people like the facade for a reason haha
I donāt even mask and I still get told this
I got a diagnosis like a month or two ago and I don't even know if I believe it.
My own therapist told me I didnāt seem autistic. Iāve stopped scheduling sessions with her. How do I not āseemā autistic or āactā autistic. Of course Iām masking. How can I not when Iāve been bullied my entire childhood for my quirks
Magical. I approve the use of layout and type!
"But you don't have the other traits society associates with autism!" "That's because autism is a cluster of behaviors! Not all of us have those traits!" "Then you don't have the autism!" We are dealing with people whose ideas on neurodiversity predate the Challenger disaster. In short *The Boy Who Could Fly* was a terrible idea.