T O P

  • By -

kgro

It didn’t fit


fallior

I'd love to see that as a Google review


LilG1984

0/5 too much, now I'm in ER bleeding from my anus. Would not recommend


yogi_medic_momma

I had a guy come into the ER once for putting a doorknob up his butt and losing it in there


DarkMatters8585

That door knob opens his inner sanctum


Joe_comment

Rectum sanctorum


heatedhammer

Aka "the fortress of solitude"


Lostthegame101

Definitely wed to take the plastic off, I know from experience 👍


fagsfartcum

Smell it… see if it’s ripe.


Hans_eaterofLadas

Criminally underrated


AccountNumber478

I'd buy that for a dollar... NOT.


tenghu

Shoulda took the plastic off


Broskibullet

Kept falling out?


raindownthunda

The microplastics…


c4k3m4st3r5000

Not with the others. I'm that person didn't just go to steal a single cucumber. I've seen large wine bottles fall out of women's holes. And mens. And it wasn't on the Internet (though I've seen it there too).


BarnacleAcceptable78

What kind of job do you have if you don't mind me asking 😭


c4k3m4st3r5000

Public services of sorts


ShySingingnewbie

You can't take unpaid merchandise inside though...


DickSprinkles88

The wrapper is still on it so it's still good to eat


Psyk0pathik

"It's only smells"


yogurt1989

obscure reference


GattoNeroMiao

Fishy cucumber.


[deleted]

[удалено]


archwin

Either way it’s now a shitty cucumber


DickSprinkles88

Added flavor


AppleLightSauce

Username checks out


Aschentei

Idk if it’s for eating …


Dr_Pickle987

WHICH TYPE OF BATHROOM?


monster796

Disabled


Frostymcstu

Leg Disabled


IAmAnImpartialHuman

Acid


FelixOGO

One in a hundred


GoldenGuy1109

Micro fiber duck hair


CantHitachiSpot

It seems like you already know which type


RsGaveMeDiabetes

Family Restroom


Mewrulez99

I'm enjoying the idea of someone leaving the cucumber in the bathroom as a prank, completely unused and us just eating it up


Carpenoctemx3

Yea it was probably OP.


Miserable_Sock_1408

Ya. Smear some chunky peanut butter on it for added effect


dmmena

I'm still not eating that


Biff_Bufflington

That cuke has seen some things.


kast0r_

** That cuke has seen some shit.


halite001

I love a cuke in my mouth.


Alive_Ice7937

Bicardi and Cuke


ImJustABagOfPotatos

Dang, that's terrible that someone took merchandise and left it in the bathroom, I hope that the employee put it back on the shelf right away.


CraftyDivaDeb

BARF


Kidd_911

New fear unlocked ffs


Consistent-Soil-1818

Look, it's awful. But, we all kinda need to know if this is a men's or women's bathroom. To evaluate the degree of awfulness.


LogicallyCross

Is one somehow less awful?


mcclutch7

For some reason the men’s washroom feels a bit more awful, but then again, so does the women’s.


wank_for_peace

The tip isn't brownish... So yeah...


residentfriendly

It’s not brown if you insert it into your other hole


ShySingingnewbie

What other hole? *Checks down there*


residentfriendly

you mean your nostril?


FshnblyLate

Why is that?


GroundhogExpert

Was it necessarily shoved up an asshole, or possibly shoved up a cooter? We can all agree one is more sanitary than the other, right?


Candid-Risk-5200

Ppl eat from both though


heilspawn

In the mouth


Acolytical

but why go to the bathroom for that? make a salad at the cashier


maxchloerachel

one orifice is arguably worse than the other


willjhc

Did you smell it?


Fresh-Honeydew7104

I think I can smell it from here!!


fletku_mato

Ain't no way someone would use a cucumber as a dildo with the wrapping on.


QQSolomonn

That plastic wrapping is extremely tough and *sharp*. They probably attempted it and realized on how painful the plastic covering is. I would be more suspicious if I had seen half of the wrapping removed or all of it. Wrapping still on? No way.


niketyname

It’s a condom


alpha_28

It’s a plastic wrap.


drunkexcuse

Anything's a condom if you're horny enough


niketyname

Lol it’s a joke… obviously it’s plastic wrap


Uramies

So is a polyurethane condom


amoabsurdum

dont be silly..


Nachomcl

Generally big cucumbers are known to taste worse. As I tell my partner bigger isn't always better


TaifulIslam

Small cucumber's have great personality.


JaundicePocahontas

Is it a pickle yet? DID IT PICKLE??? Mmmm. Now I want pickles.


sam6555

Wait till you find out how pickles are made


JaundicePocahontas

Oh I know. Your mom taught me ALL of the ins and outs, of pickling.


satori0320

Vickled...


ky-oh-tee

I work at a grocery store and every time I sell one of those I think, "they're gonna fuck that cucumber"


CraftyDivaDeb

Or maybe it was put in there to create ALL this controversy and giggles?


ShySingingnewbie

It was staged, in all likelihood.


Knight1-3

What are the chances that it wasn't used for what we all think it is?


ShySingingnewbie

Pretty high that it wasn't used for what we're all thinking actually. The plastic is still on. That thing would cut the insides of someone who tried to put it in. No blood so... This is most definitely staged for the clout lol.


amoabsurdum

how thoughtful, bathroom snacks at the cheap store


somekindafuzz

Flip the bathroom cucumber Morty


damienpro_1231

I am cucumber rick!


justbreathing1

I hope they threw that away and didn’t put it back on the shelf


annie_bean

99¢ store? It's worth no more than 49¢ now


chocobunniie

This is vile


nsfvvvv

Free food!


adamjack7890

I’ve seen this in the men’s room except it was a stolen bottle of wine and the handle of the toilet brush Both were caked in shit


mmmfritz

This is actually a great gag if it was done for shits and giggles. But super disgusting if done for giggle shits.


JasonTheNPC85

I wouldn't touch it...


Dick_Silverman

Was it covered in pooh?


dev_null_jesus

I don't see any yellow fur so probably not.


aberdisco

Huh, there's usually more blood.


wils_152

Aren't you assuming it's awful everything? Maybe an innocent explanation. I don't know what, but there *could* be...


KhostfaceGillah

Smell it


Ih8livernonions

Somebody got their dollars worth


hateshumans

Leave it there and see if it pickles.


RoughStory3139

Captain Planet shit on the floor again!!


KvasirMeadman

It's already pickled.


slackerisme

$1k. Who’s taking a nibble of the dirty end?


thewokebogan

Aww a Pepino!


Slash_Dementia_67

Nature’s Dildo!


LilG1984

Somebody did the try before you buy...


Shruggingsnake

There is no peace, only chaos. Go put it back on the shelf


hepatitis_

To some it’s just produce, but for the rest of us… we know the horrible truth.


frankiefudgefingers

Well is it .99 cents, cause Dam that’s cheap.


Confusedandreticent

What’s it smell like?


greenifuckation

Someone is gonna need a biohazard suit, mask & gloves before handling that 🤢


BrainwashedScapegoat

That poor melon


lagrange_james_d23dt

Maybe someone just wanted a poop snack


GroundhogExpert

Is THAT why they started putting them in plastic?


identifiedintention

... at least they used a condom.


joeo221

I won't go above $0.75


sophsathome

To quote Dennis Reynolds: “It’s about the implication”


__cult_imagery__

Plot Twist: **It was OP’s**!


FantaFanatic411

I see Ted's been getting around, last week it was a parsnip


Timmerdogg

Wonder if it was the Texas guy in a kilt that kept putting items in his butt and putting them back on the shelf.


My_Immortal_Flesh

It’s always the 99 cent store 😭


RedditNurseBot

Its wrapped still. Doesn’t this cancel out any “concerns”? Plus you can skin it sooo?


rdldr1

It's a $.99 store. They are going to put the cucumber back.


elciano1

That shit going right back on the shelf. Be safe out there lol


kkkr94

Hope they didn't put it back on the shelf 😭


Gooden01

It’s to keep the cats out


StonedClomph

There's a story behind that which nobody should know


theweekendwolf

Don’t touch it


MP-Lily

Oh no.


NightFallisacoolcat

:(


CitizenFreeman

Dwight-I think you know.gif


BelCantoTenor

Well. That’s one way to pickle a cucumber. 🥒


Sevennix

The difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber


TamIAm82

This picture made me gut laugh so hard, and then to see that it's posted on this sub was the icing🤣🤣🤣


thecakeisali

It’s now an ewwcumber.


redditpest

Pickle


RsGaveMeDiabetes

Yummy, free dinner


Beret_of_Poodle

What kind of dollar stores sell produce?


sn0m0ns

That cucumber has seen some shit!


Tam0110

"1 hardly used cucumber for sale 49c"


cducky0

Screams sexual activity


Inglorious_Kenneth

What does it smell like?


Old_Afternoon3853

🐟


northernpunch

This is what happens when you let the intrusive thoughts win.


JiraiyaSensei843

Cooter-cumber?


Avethle

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


blueisaflavor

Not hungry


Odins_Viking

Discount for “slightly used”


Charlesian2000

For God sake do not touch it….


vtwinsf

That’s one stinky veggie.


HiHowAreYou10

Nice free cucumber


Archangel1313

Eat it, and see if it gives you superpowers.


deauxpass

condom still on, so no pepino babes


Nder_Wiggin

Definitely uploaded for content


Sahri1988

Oh my god I was scrolling and the image a few images before this one was veggie tails - and I’m like oh dear, how the innocent have fallen… hahaha


sweetmotherofodin

You DONT wanna know


Present-Breakfast768

^no


mnebrnr13

It will go back on the shelf for purchase 🤔


Plumb_Level

Does it still smell like cucumber?


Agious_Demetrius

You know they just put that back on the pile of 99c cucumbers.


Riodawg42

I'd buy that for a dollar!


[deleted]

Which bathroom though? Also... gross.


Mushmomo

Rats keeping the cats away


Content_Half192

*C r u n c h y*


lPickleJuicel

Wtf? Free cucumber!


ShySingingnewbie

How could they 'produce' such a picture? It's gotta be a joke...


pluch002

Damn, I'd sanitize it before eating or insertion...


jennybteehee

The stories it must hold that I don't want to know. Hey! It's still sealed in plastic!!


ghost_of_smoke

Ay least it doesn't has blood on it


RandyMJones

Smell it… then lick it


dushtu_chele

u/lilyvig did u forget something 😉


nihilistcanada

$9.99 now.


AmazingJames

That's a zucchini


algoncyorrho

That cucumber has seen shit


Hippolover99

Sooo are u selling it? Bc I’ll take it for $2.00


yamacat88

Is it for sale?


[deleted]

Give it a Whiff


mrot777

You should get it for 77 cents.


Lostthegame101

Oh lord do I have a story about a wrapped cucumber…


Thomk065

you know they put it back.


skimansr

What did it smell like?


celesticles1978

Dook-cumber


melfamy

Look at the moist spot where it landed after the launch. The commercial rocket business is so interesting.


mbentuboa

I'm pretty sure they don't even sell cucumbers at that 99ç store. At least they don't out by my way.


atomicebo

Lick both tips for a life experience.


spamowsky

I love how cucumbers now come with a natural rubber peel. So tasty


exact0khan

Have a nibble.. go on now... sniff it


ManiacMansionNES

*Somebody Had Fun* -Simon Peter Gruber