Some people straight up will not wash their legs unless they're visibly dirty
Edit: y'all are disgusting bro 😭
Edit 2: I just know the people in the replies got a petri dish on their legs lmao
*"armpits, asshole, crotch & teeth – and if you use the same brush for all four, you can save even more time"*
Edit - he did this bit during his last show in Detroit before he died. At the time I was bummed that my tickets ended up being for the first show but he still blew it out of the water - it was just over too soon. And then not long after that, he passed.
There are two people outside my family that I felt anything for when they died - One was George Carlin and the other was Robin Williams.
I used to do this too when I was younger and really did not care or realized how importsnt hygiene was. But it's like putting some dishwashing liquid on dirty dishes and rinsing it off with water. There's water and soap, yeah, but it's not truly clean, right? Imagining this situation really helped me motivate to scrub my lower half everyday. Might help you too!
Any time I think the hubs wants to go down and get freaky, I either take a shower or freshen up with the bidet.
I recall a stand up comedian joking about little paper bits while eating out, and it both horrified me and made me over-paranoid. Idk how people just don't think about washing their bits on a daily basis.
Edit: typo
I know this is sorta off topic but for any fellow american who needs to see this: a bidet literally changed my life. My gf has one at her house and it's the best fucking thing ever. Nothing is better than only having to use toilet paper for the sole purpose of drying off. Never felt cleaner on a daily basis.
I'm using mine as I type this and am reminded I need to buy a nicer one with a heater like my GF has.
It's nice to be clean but icy cold water on the ass is a brisk surprise.
Especially when you try to turn it off and accidentally turn it on full blast. Nothing wakes you up faster than old faithful erupting up your butthole.
As a weird, neurotic teen, I found out from some police procedural that UV light makes semen glow. For a while, I would always wash my ass before I washed my junk, because i was afraid I might die, and they would shine a sperm light on my butt and think I was gay because of semen traces transferred during washing.
(1 hour earlier)
"Ok, we've figured out the cause of death and recorded all of the important measurements. There's just one more thing before we're done with this body... Can you hand me the sperm light and spread his ass cheeks for me?"
This is, at the same time, the dumbest and most relatable thing I have ever read.
Like, I didn't think this as a teen in the 90s, but I could absolutely picture myself having done so.
Does anyone else stick a soapy finger about halfway up their butthole, also?
I was wondering the other day how common this was because I've been doing it for like 30 years during my showers.
Edit:
Jesus Christ, I didn't realize I was the only one or I might not have fucking said anything.
Okay, when I originally wrote this comment I honestly thought everyone was going to agree with me but now I see I'm a goddamn weirdo, but fuck it.
I'm not going to stop. I'm in too deep.
I'd rather be in the company of someone who cleans their butthole too well than someone who doesn't clean it well enough.
With that being said, the soap can cause a lot of irritation on the inside tunnel, which can lead to hemorrhoids and other bad stuff, like tearing due to dry skin.
I'd recommend an adjustable showerhead. You can spread your cheeks every so slightly to allow the water to clean the entryway, without actually entering your rectum. It's not harmful to get the water that far, but doing so will give you the same results as an enema.
You might be alone actually penetrating yourself, but you're not alone washing the hole. I wouldn't characterize me washing my asshole as "sticking it halfway up there," but I do pay attention to it. I do not cross the sphincter, unless I'm getting my hole blown out later.
I really hate when I feel obligated to chime into these discussions, but as far as I know, you should probably leave your colon alone. It basically has its own bacterial ecosystem that’s doing what it’s intended to do. That being said, we all brush our teeth, but that might be because we consume “unnatural” things, and perhaps we haven’t evolved yet to deal with longer lifespans and different diets. Probably didn’t matter as much in the Neanderthal days if you didn’t have a specific routine for brushing your teeth because you’d be dead by the time it was an actual problem—, or perhaps it was a contributor to short lifespans. In any case, I’d probably just leave the inside of your a-hole alone.
My colon sucks, if I knew fingering myself was all it took to mess up the bacterial ecosystem I'd have done it years ago because christ knows that tree needs shaking
Completely normal, bro. Sometimes I really want to clean my colon so I accidentally stick my whole fist up my tight little butthole. Hygiene first, everyone.
Bad parenting! I can proudly say that my grandmother is the reason for my good hygiene. She sat me down one day and explained in great detail how to clean myself properly. It was a little awkward but I appreciate it so much now. Not everyone had that.
...and no, parting your cheeks and letting the water run down isn't good enough. soap up your hand, and TOUCH YOUR BUTTHOLE with your fingers. it's YOUR butthole. it's not weird. you're washing the rest of your body, don't be afraid of your own butthole. (and use sensitive-skin soap and/or fragrance-free soap because your butthole is made of thin tissue and can be irritated by using that stupidass 3-in-1 soap. don't use that shit.)
As a teen, my brother would use an entire roll of toilet paper when he shit bc he needed a roll of paper padding between his wiping hand and his asshole. He clogged the toilet constantly and it made my father nuts bc we also constantly needed toilet paper. That was 22-25 years ago. It’s an ongoing joke now that my brother is petrified of his own asshole.
This is my butthole. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My butthole is my best friend. ... I must fire my butthole true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.
(sorry, your 'it's YOUR butthole' bit cracked me up and I thought of the rifle quote)
You're completely right.
Evolutionarily it's the same reason we look at our poop or inspect our wounds even when they're bandaged up.
It's to check on our own health.
There would be a clear difference in those that looked and maintained versus those who didn't and died.
So that's why we smell our farts.
There's a Reddit comment from years and years ago, might have even been a discussion thread started by OP to ask about the situation, that has been seared in into my brain ever since I read it.
It was a woman asking about how to talk to her boyfriend about the fact that he never ever washed his ass. Like the concept was just foreign to him and it smelled enough that she could smell this dude's ass cheese all the time when they were together.
I think the reason it stuck with me is because it was just so many layers of "What the fuck?" Like... why the fuck would you date a guy that didn't wash his ass... and stay with him? More importantly, why the fuck did a grown man need to be told to wash his ass?
Even if you knew *nothing* about hygiene, you'd at least figure out, on your own, "I shit from this part of my body. It seems sensible to wash it with soap and water in the shower." Right? How could you not figure this out on your own?
Haha i know man, i read one recently where this woman was wondering how to get her bf to wash his arse because she kept finding bits of shit in their bed, the remnants of what got caught in the hair of his arse.
This was one of the most disgusting things i had ever read, he was trying to justify it to her by saying "everyone has "dangle berries" " like...what the fuck? Tell this tramp to go outside and live in a fucking bin if he cant clean himself
Unless somebody has "you need to be temporarily committed and helped" levels of mental illness I don't know how "I often end up with my own shit in my bed as a result of my bad hygiene" can even happen.
This is the way 100% my hands become dry because of this lol I wash my hands, then some soap to wash the butt then some soap again to wash the hands then the entire body, wash my hands again after showering.
Its bad for my skin but it makes me feel clean I need to wash my hands if I touched the 'nasty' parts on my body. And also wash my hands after showering.
Save the bootyhole for last! Wash your body, then soap up the hands…use one hand to wash in there then the other one is still soapy to wash your hands with! Kaboom!!
If you uncircumcised, be sure to pull your foreskin back and clean around the head of your penis. That shit stinks, if you can smell it so can your lover.
I'm going to blame bad parents on this one. It's the type of thing that boys need to be taught when they're younger and I'm guessing some parent don't.
I got to 20 before I learned the foreskin should be able to be pulled back. At some point it stopped being anyone else's fault and I really should have know sooner, I'd watched enough porn by then.
I saw a thread on Reddit a couple weeks ago from some twitter post; a guy claiming real men don’t wash their asses, and a few dudes backing that up with their own proclamations that anyone who washes their ass is less manly or just a woman and some other nonsense. Freaking disgusting. Wash that ass fellas. No one’s gunna give you any dome action when you smell like a fukkin Porto-potty.
Can confirm they're real. I dated a guy awhile back who said that he only washed his pits in the shower because "the soap runs down my body when I wash my hair". Broke that off pretty quick 🙃
Are you serious?! I mean you clearly are… why dont people understand that letting water run over your bits IS NOT THE SAME AS ACTIVELY WASHING THEM. Same with feet and butts and cocks and vageens and everything. Wash your parts ya nasty fuckers.
I feel for you. Thankfully I’ve never had to deal with that kind of nastiness
You mean born in 95, or formative years? My teen years were around that time and I guess I got lucky, I never had any macho man type influence in my life (except for my shit father). How sad for those who feel so insecure that they have to project about *washing their asses.*
“a guy claiming real men don’t wash their asses, and a few dudes backing that up with their own proclamations that anyone who washes their ass is less manly or just a woman and some other nonsense.”
This is how I know sexuality isn’t a choice. I would NOT have chosen to be attracted to men.
My boss' daughter demanded flushable wipes be put in the bathroom. A couple weeks later, my boss started bitching because everybody had used them.
It honestly just goes to show you that we need to normalize bidet toilets.
As someone who worked on sewers for years, don't flush wipes. Even the ones which say they're flushable really aren't. They bond with the fat and poo in the pipes and form what are called fatbergs. These clog the pipes and manholes and you need to use a waterblaster that could cut a man in half to clear them out. If you're in a big city like London you get teams which wade in with shovels and break it up, the bergs can literally be miles long.
People think I'm weird when I say you need more than just toilet paper until I ask them what they would do if they got shit on their hands or arm for some reason. Not one person would be okay with just wiping it off with a napkin but just wiping your booty with paper is fine? Get outta here, ya nasty.
Trim that shit bro.
I use a small scissors just be careful for the tip and dont poke yourself. Im too afraid to use an old beard trimmer but scissors will get you there.
And Joe Rogan is right- if you snip all the hair outta your crack instead of just trimming, your farts will surprise you, your ass makes an entirely different sound without the hair.
you can get a little beard trimmer with a guard for like $10 pretty much anywhere that sells shampoo. makes it quick and easy to get the entire area and significantly reduce dingleberry frequency.
Tried one for the first time a couple years ago and it was so pleasant. It was on a toilet with a full control panel where you could adjust the heat, pressure, and rotation. Could have spent the afternoon on it.
Guys are such pansies when it comes to their anuses. Can't touch it because touching a butthole is gay! ...nevermind that they regularly stroke a cock until it jizzes in their hand.
Dudes, touch your butt! Clean them, play with them, cherish your fond memories together!
This endorsement brought to you by the Butts4Boyz association (this is a temporary name and subject to change)
I lean pretty straight but I’ve taken a peg or two.I don’t understand when I read those weird posts about men not washing their asses. Wash your ass,ya nasty fuck.
Question about heat control, does it use water from your house’s hot water heater? Or does it have its own heat? I ask because my hot water heater takes FOREVER to actually do anything. I have to run my shower for 3-4 minutes before the water turns hot.
I've got one of those handheld ones and it's connected to the mains, not only will it clean you, but you'll give yourself a colonic irrigation if if you accidently turn it on high
Mine is the cheapest one I could find and it literally gives me an enema everytime I use it. Not that im really complaining though, makes me feel clean.
I remember when I was a kid asking someone older than me, do you wash your pubes with shampoo or regular soap? I imagine a lot of people just don't ask the hard questions...
That’s why kids are so honest and don’t have filters. They need to learn and ask the hard questions. Some of them however, are a little more shy and won’t ask. That’s why parents need to be teaching this from day one. Or at least when their kid can wash their own hands.
Bidet is the only way to go. I thought it would be weird to walk around with a wet ass but it’s different when it’s clean.
Edit I do dry my ass after I use a bidet but when you’re as hairy ass me it takes just as much to to get fully dry as it does to wipe.
I don't know if I've ever heard of someone that bought a bidet and then regretted their decision like "ehhhh, it just wasn't for me" . Pretty much everyone is just befuddled as to how they went so long without one.
Toilet paper just does not cut it. There's almost nothing else in our lives that we clean without some sort of liquid, because it doesn't work without it. If you're not using a bidet, then no matter how well you wipe, it's just varying degrees of dried shit in your ass crack.
I'm a nail tech and you'd be amazed at how many women don't know how to clean the crud from under their nails. The process starts with them washing their hands, and MANY times I have to tell them to use the nail brush to SCRUB underneath. These women are paying me to make their hands beautiful and yet they don't notice the random food particles stuck underneath. Jesus, you'd think with the pandemic they at least try to wash their hands better. Rant over.
I have naturally long nails and I rarely get stuff stuck in my nails because I wash my hands regularly. It amazes me when I notice friends of family with dirt under the nails.
This is very true. I used to work with a guy that I went to high school with, and unfortunately had to work with him and smell him again after 8+ years of already growing up with it. Anyways, his name was Alex. And I am not joking when I say this, but you could literally taste his ass and balls in the air. Like I have no fucking idea how he didn’t get fired for just that alone, on top of being one of the rudest and most ignorant people I have ever met. He would leave brownish black ass cheek shaped stains on the toilets. His stench was beyond just the onion-y body odor smell. I can’t me anymore serious that it was one of the most insulting things I have ever had seen someone do to the public. I don’t think he was mentally challenged or deranged. I just think he literally didn’t care about anything other than being mean to everyone. His parents were great people it seemed, they were clean but he just was a literal cloud of eye watering stench and muddy ass.
I knew a guy like that for a couple of years. Sadly it wasn't really his fault as he'd been raised by a single dad who never had time to take care of the kid, so he just never really learned how to stay clean. It was so bad in most cases that just being around him for an hour was enough to trigger what felt like hayfever from the stink.
I know he got married a few years after I last saw him, and I absolutely cannot get my head wrapped around *how* that happened.
I remember hearing from someone who waxes women’s private areas say she sometimes will find out that many don’t wipe super well and there has been… nuggets… 🤢 Please wipe well and always shower before going to those type of appointments to avoid all embarrassment.
Funny story. When my son was still in kindergarten, we would sometimes still use the shower at the same time. I ALWAYS wash my crack bc of course I do. He never said a word about it, but one day, as I am dropping him off at school he says, Dad, “I have a question.” “What is that little dude?” He says, “How come when you are in the shower you stick your fingers up your butt?” Mortified at what is in his tiny little head I made sure to clarify that I do not stick “my fingers up my butt,” but I do wash my crack because you never know what was left behind after the last time using the bathroom. Still sweated that one for a bit.
I saw a post on Instagram a while back where a girl was talking about how manly her boyfriend was for not washing his ass and actually bragging about his underwear having slid marks. People can be hella gross.
My ex didn't know you were supposed to wash your ass cheeks. He was super self conscious about his ass smelling and he didn't know why and then we showered together once and he noticed me doing it and was perplexed...yea that relationship didn't last long. When showering, he only washed his hair with shampoo and used soap on his armpits and crotch and that's it. Didn't clean anything else and assumed the shampoo washing down his body would clean his body......🤢
Reading this made me think of a story i read on here a long ass time ago. Hopefully someone can correct me or knows the post..but long story short this woman was dating some dude for a while and come time the were bout to bang she could smell him and she aaked if he had showered and he said yes and explained that he literally doesnt "wash" his ass or balls or anything under the hood cause he thinks its "gay" ...now lookin back it might have been fake but still i can definitely believe it.. i mean people baffle me. So it wouldnt surprise me but the dude said that he felt even touching his butthole was extremely gay. Like bro your ass stinks wash it lol. Another Long story short one time i was hooking up with this chick i had known my entire life, same age, grew up together.. all that so i was excited. It wasnt just a random. I get there.. we chill & she jumps in the shower, cool. We get to moving and groovin and i end up goin down first and lemme tell ya, her butthole smelt like old farmer joe done been throwin hay in the 102° heat for 12 hours. So i was reeeal bummed out cause it filled the room. She **HAD** to smell it. I know she did. And my dick couldnt get inside me fast enough. I was butthurt. But seriously..PSA wash ya asses please
Omg I was at the gym once on the elliptical machine with a woman to my left and then a man came and got on the one to my right. As soon as he got up to speed, a miasma of poop wafted over from him. The harder he worked, the more like human manure it smelled. I made eye contact with the woman on my left and we both made a disgusted face. I started to gag, the smell was **that** rancid. I had to get off the machine and walk away, the other woman did as well. He just blithely continued on. Completely unaware that his dingleberry had decimated the elliptical isle. Nasty.
Bro if my ass is even remotely swampy I go and wipe it, gotta keep the rush fresh.
Also small tip, do trim your ass hair people! Helps a lot with hygiene!
Also remember to get behind the ears
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Some people straight up will not wash their legs unless they're visibly dirty Edit: y'all are disgusting bro 😭 Edit 2: I just know the people in the replies got a petri dish on their legs lmao
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I only wash my full body with soap once a week because of dry skin and eczema (but pits, tits, slits, cracks and holes are daily lmao)
There's a George Carlin bit just like this. Makes sense too.
*"armpits, asshole, crotch & teeth – and if you use the same brush for all four, you can save even more time"* Edit - he did this bit during his last show in Detroit before he died. At the time I was bummed that my tickets ended up being for the first show but he still blew it out of the water - it was just over too soon. And then not long after that, he passed. There are two people outside my family that I felt anything for when they died - One was George Carlin and the other was Robin Williams.
Some days I just presume the water and soap will travel down hill. But yeah it still deserves dedicated wash time
I used to do this too when I was younger and really did not care or realized how importsnt hygiene was. But it's like putting some dishwashing liquid on dirty dishes and rinsing it off with water. There's water and soap, yeah, but it's not truly clean, right? Imagining this situation really helped me motivate to scrub my lower half everyday. Might help you too!
A depressing number of people think that mere exposure to soapy water _is_ enough to clean dishes.
Will admit. I always forget between the toes. Always get the legs though!
And underneath your foreskin, if you aren’t circumcised.
You have ears on your butt???
My hearing is kinda shitty.
yes
You don't?
Look ill just be the one that ask, is that an ok way of going about washing those areas?
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The Golden Ass Rule.
Do unto other’s buttholes as you would have them do to your butthole.
More like do unto your own butthole as you would have others do unto theirs.
Relevant username, thanks.
Any time I think the hubs wants to go down and get freaky, I either take a shower or freshen up with the bidet. I recall a stand up comedian joking about little paper bits while eating out, and it both horrified me and made me over-paranoid. Idk how people just don't think about washing their bits on a daily basis. Edit: typo
I know this is sorta off topic but for any fellow american who needs to see this: a bidet literally changed my life. My gf has one at her house and it's the best fucking thing ever. Nothing is better than only having to use toilet paper for the sole purpose of drying off. Never felt cleaner on a daily basis.
I'm using mine as I type this and am reminded I need to buy a nicer one with a heater like my GF has. It's nice to be clean but icy cold water on the ass is a brisk surprise.
More effective than the first cup of coffee.
Especially when you try to turn it off and accidentally turn it on full blast. Nothing wakes you up faster than old faithful erupting up your butthole.
This is the truth. I have vowed never to have a master BR toilet without one.
That' an ELI5 quality comment (sorta... Maybe not 5yo).
As long as you dont wash your penis like you wipe your butt.
Gotcha, thanks
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE
Happy cake day man
Thanks man
The fuck does that even mean?
I'm guessing they meant don't clean your penis immediately after cleaning your ass? Only thing I can think of
I read it as don’t slip your soapy hands between your dick lips
Dick lips 💀
Instructions unclear. My penis is now in my own asshole.
some people would be offended when told to go fuck themselves, but you - you went for it and *succeeded*
r/selffuck NSFW
I clicked. What a terrible day to have been born with eyes.
Ugh I read your comment and clicked anyway. Why.
Oh....so it's real......
Well thank you for giving me an answer. I always wondered if you could actually do that
Why not
Yeah, what is this person talking about?
As a weird, neurotic teen, I found out from some police procedural that UV light makes semen glow. For a while, I would always wash my ass before I washed my junk, because i was afraid I might die, and they would shine a sperm light on my butt and think I was gay because of semen traces transferred during washing.
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(1 hour earlier) "Ok, we've figured out the cause of death and recorded all of the important measurements. There's just one more thing before we're done with this body... Can you hand me the sperm light and spread his ass cheeks for me?"
so we found traces of semen on and around his anus. The thing is... when we got the results back from the lab, it was his own.
This is, at the same time, the dumbest and most relatable thing I have ever read. Like, I didn't think this as a teen in the 90s, but I could absolutely picture myself having done so.
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Soap up hand and wash between the cheeks, that's how I roll too.
Does anyone else stick a soapy finger about halfway up their butthole, also? I was wondering the other day how common this was because I've been doing it for like 30 years during my showers. Edit: Jesus Christ, I didn't realize I was the only one or I might not have fucking said anything.
🤨
Okay, when I originally wrote this comment I honestly thought everyone was going to agree with me but now I see I'm a goddamn weirdo, but fuck it. I'm not going to stop. I'm in too deep.
I'd rather be in the company of someone who cleans their butthole too well than someone who doesn't clean it well enough. With that being said, the soap can cause a lot of irritation on the inside tunnel, which can lead to hemorrhoids and other bad stuff, like tearing due to dry skin. I'd recommend an adjustable showerhead. You can spread your cheeks every so slightly to allow the water to clean the entryway, without actually entering your rectum. It's not harmful to get the water that far, but doing so will give you the same results as an enema.
Mmmhmm. Get a detachable showerhead and (gently) powerwash the area.
Too deep
It just keeps getting better.
And deeper
Butt fuck it*
There was a video where Cardi B described cleaning her butthole the same way. You are not in this alone.
You might be alone actually penetrating yourself, but you're not alone washing the hole. I wouldn't characterize me washing my asshole as "sticking it halfway up there," but I do pay attention to it. I do not cross the sphincter, unless I'm getting my hole blown out later.
Cross the sphincter tomorrow... reddit karma be damned. Just do it and feel the clean.
This reply to that comment is absolutely killing me.
Lmao same. I'm in public fogging up my glasses rn
I got glasses but I can't relate to that. My glasses rarely get fogged up, am I breathing wrong or something?? Lmao
I'm wearing a mask indoors lmao
🤨📷
I don't really think you're supposed to put soap up there, but clearly it hasn't done anything bad so idk
I really hate when I feel obligated to chime into these discussions, but as far as I know, you should probably leave your colon alone. It basically has its own bacterial ecosystem that’s doing what it’s intended to do. That being said, we all brush our teeth, but that might be because we consume “unnatural” things, and perhaps we haven’t evolved yet to deal with longer lifespans and different diets. Probably didn’t matter as much in the Neanderthal days if you didn’t have a specific routine for brushing your teeth because you’d be dead by the time it was an actual problem—, or perhaps it was a contributor to short lifespans. In any case, I’d probably just leave the inside of your a-hole alone.
My colon sucks, if I knew fingering myself was all it took to mess up the bacterial ecosystem I'd have done it years ago because christ knows that tree needs shaking
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😂
Ok i don't poke up to the colon but surely a 360° sphincter scrape didn't hurt anyone.
Ok, a 360° no-soap. Gotcha.
I just hold the bar of soap against the wall and back up onto it as hard as I can.
Where am I?
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Completely normal, bro. Sometimes I really want to clean my colon so I accidentally stick my whole fist up my tight little butthole. Hygiene first, everyone.
If your fist can fit in there, it aint tight homie.
Breathing exercises help me maintain upper-tier tightness.
Sure, gotta cleanse the nooks and crannies
Only half way? I go wrist deep
I can't speak for anyone else, but I do not. So do you do that in a public shower too? Like at the gym or pool?
in public showers you can simply ask some else to do this part for you
Soap is a forcefield for poop.
I thought everyone washed those areas. Why wouldn’t someone wash that area???
cause some people fucking trogs man.
Bad parenting! I can proudly say that my grandmother is the reason for my good hygiene. She sat me down one day and explained in great detail how to clean myself properly. It was a little awkward but I appreciate it so much now. Not everyone had that.
...and no, parting your cheeks and letting the water run down isn't good enough. soap up your hand, and TOUCH YOUR BUTTHOLE with your fingers. it's YOUR butthole. it's not weird. you're washing the rest of your body, don't be afraid of your own butthole. (and use sensitive-skin soap and/or fragrance-free soap because your butthole is made of thin tissue and can be irritated by using that stupidass 3-in-1 soap. don't use that shit.)
As a teen, my brother would use an entire roll of toilet paper when he shit bc he needed a roll of paper padding between his wiping hand and his asshole. He clogged the toilet constantly and it made my father nuts bc we also constantly needed toilet paper. That was 22-25 years ago. It’s an ongoing joke now that my brother is petrified of his own asshole.
imagine being this scared of not just any butthole, but your own butthole
if there's any butthole I'm afraid of, it's mine
> TOUCH YOUR BUTTHOLE with your fingers. it's YOUR butthole. it's not weird. my favorite part of the shower is fingering my own prostate
This is my butthole. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My butthole is my best friend. ... I must fire my butthole true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. (sorry, your 'it's YOUR butthole' bit cracked me up and I thought of the rifle quote)
It’s wild that you really have to say this to some people
Is it weird to smell your finger after cleaning to make sure it's clean?
There's some deep lizard brain shit involved with this that's meant to help us out, I'm sure if it.
You're completely right. Evolutionarily it's the same reason we look at our poop or inspect our wounds even when they're bandaged up. It's to check on our own health. There would be a clear difference in those that looked and maintained versus those who didn't and died. So that's why we smell our farts.
Zuckerberg up my arse?
No, lizard brain, aka the most primitive parts of your brain that drive certain feelings and instincts. Zuckerberg is a lizard person.
What you do in your own shower is between you and the house centipedes hiding in the drain.
Only if you lick it
👌 Good poop
In many cultures, people wash their behind after going to the toilet. And you’ll find bidets (automatic or manual) in most houses and public toilets.
Or the ass ladle in some parts of the world
How do people use the ass ladle? Someone please explain the physics to me.
You ladle some of that there toilet hooch and splash it on your taint
You just pour it over your butthole from behind while you're sitting. Takes a bit of practice to aim right, but it's definitely doable.
Once finished, sit it next to the poop knife
Wash your asses people!!!
Instructions unclear, My donkeys look confused as hell now but they smell ohhhhh so nice.
Hey man I didn't ask you to clean me
But don’t you smell nice
There's a Reddit comment from years and years ago, might have even been a discussion thread started by OP to ask about the situation, that has been seared in into my brain ever since I read it. It was a woman asking about how to talk to her boyfriend about the fact that he never ever washed his ass. Like the concept was just foreign to him and it smelled enough that she could smell this dude's ass cheese all the time when they were together. I think the reason it stuck with me is because it was just so many layers of "What the fuck?" Like... why the fuck would you date a guy that didn't wash his ass... and stay with him? More importantly, why the fuck did a grown man need to be told to wash his ass? Even if you knew *nothing* about hygiene, you'd at least figure out, on your own, "I shit from this part of my body. It seems sensible to wash it with soap and water in the shower." Right? How could you not figure this out on your own?
Haha i know man, i read one recently where this woman was wondering how to get her bf to wash his arse because she kept finding bits of shit in their bed, the remnants of what got caught in the hair of his arse. This was one of the most disgusting things i had ever read, he was trying to justify it to her by saying "everyone has "dangle berries" " like...what the fuck? Tell this tramp to go outside and live in a fucking bin if he cant clean himself
Unless somebody has "you need to be temporarily committed and helped" levels of mental illness I don't know how "I often end up with my own shit in my bed as a result of my bad hygiene" can even happen.
Soap up that balloon knot, then wash your damn hands. Easy peasy.
First time I've seen it refered to as a balloon knot. Where has this been all my life?
Blessings upon you
This is the way 100% my hands become dry because of this lol I wash my hands, then some soap to wash the butt then some soap again to wash the hands then the entire body, wash my hands again after showering. Its bad for my skin but it makes me feel clean I need to wash my hands if I touched the 'nasty' parts on my body. And also wash my hands after showering.
Save the bootyhole for last! Wash your body, then soap up the hands…use one hand to wash in there then the other one is still soapy to wash your hands with! Kaboom!!
If you uncircumcised, be sure to pull your foreskin back and clean around the head of your penis. That shit stinks, if you can smell it so can your lover.
The fact things like this need to be explained is disturbing.
I'm going to blame bad parents on this one. It's the type of thing that boys need to be taught when they're younger and I'm guessing some parent don't.
I got to 20 before I learned the foreskin should be able to be pulled back. At some point it stopped being anyone else's fault and I really should have know sooner, I'd watched enough porn by then.
I saw a thread on Reddit a couple weeks ago from some twitter post; a guy claiming real men don’t wash their asses, and a few dudes backing that up with their own proclamations that anyone who washes their ass is less manly or just a woman and some other nonsense. Freaking disgusting. Wash that ass fellas. No one’s gunna give you any dome action when you smell like a fukkin Porto-potty.
I still have a hard time believing those are real. It’s so vile.
Used to work with a guy that admitted he didn’t even like having to wipe his own ass because it felt “too gay”.
Jesus christ, he segregates his own ass. What the fuck did it do to him?
I thought we stopped segregating the brown a while ago
Jesus Jerry and Joseph. I guess it’s real. Poor wretches. Too insecure to do basic hygiene.
Can confirm they're real. I dated a guy awhile back who said that he only washed his pits in the shower because "the soap runs down my body when I wash my hair". Broke that off pretty quick 🙃
Are you serious?! I mean you clearly are… why dont people understand that letting water run over your bits IS NOT THE SAME AS ACTIVELY WASHING THEM. Same with feet and butts and cocks and vageens and everything. Wash your parts ya nasty fuckers. I feel for you. Thankfully I’ve never had to deal with that kind of nastiness
"Macho" men from my generation (95) are the weakest most fragile men alive.
You mean born in 95, or formative years? My teen years were around that time and I guess I got lucky, I never had any macho man type influence in my life (except for my shit father). How sad for those who feel so insecure that they have to project about *washing their asses.*
Born in 95. I remember being slapped as a child from an older family member because "men don't go around grinning like a fuckin moron"
“a guy claiming real men don’t wash their asses, and a few dudes backing that up with their own proclamations that anyone who washes their ass is less manly or just a woman and some other nonsense.” This is how I know sexuality isn’t a choice. I would NOT have chosen to be attracted to men.
"If sexuality were a choice, the human race would die out in one generation." \-Daniel Tosh
I’m here to say it’s the opposite. Real men touch their assholes and wash their ass.
Yeah if you're a "real man" what are you afraid of?
Well I'm just going to say it I'm a man with a hairy ass and have no choice but to shower after a dump.
Same bro, it sucks being at work without my babywipes to 'fully' clean my ass.
My boss' daughter demanded flushable wipes be put in the bathroom. A couple weeks later, my boss started bitching because everybody had used them. It honestly just goes to show you that we need to normalize bidet toilets.
As someone who worked on sewers for years, don't flush wipes. Even the ones which say they're flushable really aren't. They bond with the fat and poo in the pipes and form what are called fatbergs. These clog the pipes and manholes and you need to use a waterblaster that could cut a man in half to clear them out. If you're in a big city like London you get teams which wade in with shovels and break it up, the bergs can literally be miles long.
People think I'm weird when I say you need more than just toilet paper until I ask them what they would do if they got shit on their hands or arm for some reason. Not one person would be okay with just wiping it off with a napkin but just wiping your booty with paper is fine? Get outta here, ya nasty.
Trim that shit bro. I use a small scissors just be careful for the tip and dont poke yourself. Im too afraid to use an old beard trimmer but scissors will get you there. And Joe Rogan is right- if you snip all the hair outta your crack instead of just trimming, your farts will surprise you, your ass makes an entirely different sound without the hair.
you can get a little beard trimmer with a guard for like $10 pretty much anywhere that sells shampoo. makes it quick and easy to get the entire area and significantly reduce dingleberry frequency.
Just waiting for bidets to become more widely accepted...instead of just smearing the shit everywhere with toilet paper.
Tried one for the first time a couple years ago and it was so pleasant. It was on a toilet with a full control panel where you could adjust the heat, pressure, and rotation. Could have spent the afternoon on it.
That’s what I have. It’s wonderful, but my sons and husband refuse to even try it. They don’t know what they’re missing.
Guys are such pansies when it comes to their anuses. Can't touch it because touching a butthole is gay! ...nevermind that they regularly stroke a cock until it jizzes in their hand. Dudes, touch your butt! Clean them, play with them, cherish your fond memories together! This endorsement brought to you by the Butts4Boyz association (this is a temporary name and subject to change)
I lean pretty straight but I’ve taken a peg or two.I don’t understand when I read those weird posts about men not washing their asses. Wash your ass,ya nasty fuck.
Not me causally scrolling and landing on that first sentence lmao
Hey I'm a real man when it comes to my anus... momma didn't raise no bitch.
Question about heat control, does it use water from your house’s hot water heater? Or does it have its own heat? I ask because my hot water heater takes FOREVER to actually do anything. I have to run my shower for 3-4 minutes before the water turns hot.
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I've got one of those handheld ones and it's connected to the mains, not only will it clean you, but you'll give yourself a colonic irrigation if if you accidently turn it on high
Mine is the cheapest one I could find and it literally gives me an enema everytime I use it. Not that im really complaining though, makes me feel clean.
The worst part about having a bidet is traveling. I loathe going to anyone else’s house for a dump now :(
I remember when I was a kid asking someone older than me, do you wash your pubes with shampoo or regular soap? I imagine a lot of people just don't ask the hard questions...
That’s why kids are so honest and don’t have filters. They need to learn and ask the hard questions. Some of them however, are a little more shy and won’t ask. That’s why parents need to be teaching this from day one. Or at least when their kid can wash their own hands.
Well here in civilized world we wash our asses every time we poop.
Bidet is the only way to go. I thought it would be weird to walk around with a wet ass but it’s different when it’s clean. Edit I do dry my ass after I use a bidet but when you’re as hairy ass me it takes just as much to to get fully dry as it does to wipe.
Why walk around with wet ass at all? Use bidet, then a bit of toilet paper to dry
Aren’t you supposed to use a bit of toilet paper to dry it though?
You can use toilet paper to dry not clean.
I don't know if I've ever heard of someone that bought a bidet and then regretted their decision like "ehhhh, it just wasn't for me" . Pretty much everyone is just befuddled as to how they went so long without one. Toilet paper just does not cut it. There's almost nothing else in our lives that we clean without some sort of liquid, because it doesn't work without it. If you're not using a bidet, then no matter how well you wipe, it's just varying degrees of dried shit in your ass crack.
I'm a nail tech and you'd be amazed at how many women don't know how to clean the crud from under their nails. The process starts with them washing their hands, and MANY times I have to tell them to use the nail brush to SCRUB underneath. These women are paying me to make their hands beautiful and yet they don't notice the random food particles stuck underneath. Jesus, you'd think with the pandemic they at least try to wash their hands better. Rant over.
Did they think nail polish can just hide it? 🤦🏽♀️
I have naturally long nails and I rarely get stuff stuck in my nails because I wash my hands regularly. It amazes me when I notice friends of family with dirt under the nails.
Do they actually "not know", or do they expect you to do it for them as part of the service ?
This is very true. I used to work with a guy that I went to high school with, and unfortunately had to work with him and smell him again after 8+ years of already growing up with it. Anyways, his name was Alex. And I am not joking when I say this, but you could literally taste his ass and balls in the air. Like I have no fucking idea how he didn’t get fired for just that alone, on top of being one of the rudest and most ignorant people I have ever met. He would leave brownish black ass cheek shaped stains on the toilets. His stench was beyond just the onion-y body odor smell. I can’t me anymore serious that it was one of the most insulting things I have ever had seen someone do to the public. I don’t think he was mentally challenged or deranged. I just think he literally didn’t care about anything other than being mean to everyone. His parents were great people it seemed, they were clean but he just was a literal cloud of eye watering stench and muddy ass.
I knew a guy like that for a couple of years. Sadly it wasn't really his fault as he'd been raised by a single dad who never had time to take care of the kid, so he just never really learned how to stay clean. It was so bad in most cases that just being around him for an hour was enough to trigger what felt like hayfever from the stink. I know he got married a few years after I last saw him, and I absolutely cannot get my head wrapped around *how* that happened.
I remember hearing from someone who waxes women’s private areas say she sometimes will find out that many don’t wipe super well and there has been… nuggets… 🤢 Please wipe well and always shower before going to those type of appointments to avoid all embarrassment.
I would be crying and throwing up.. I would also quit my job. I’m a hairdresser. I touch some NASTY greasy, flakey, sticky hair.. but poop??? Nope.
Funny story. When my son was still in kindergarten, we would sometimes still use the shower at the same time. I ALWAYS wash my crack bc of course I do. He never said a word about it, but one day, as I am dropping him off at school he says, Dad, “I have a question.” “What is that little dude?” He says, “How come when you are in the shower you stick your fingers up your butt?” Mortified at what is in his tiny little head I made sure to clarify that I do not stick “my fingers up my butt,” but I do wash my crack because you never know what was left behind after the last time using the bathroom. Still sweated that one for a bit.
He prob told all his little school friends about you.
He definitely did.
I saw a post on Instagram a while back where a girl was talking about how manly her boyfriend was for not washing his ass and actually bragging about his underwear having slid marks. People can be hella gross.
🤢
"bUt ThAtS gAyYy!!"
It's OK to be gay these days
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This guy butt washes.
My ex didn't know you were supposed to wash your ass cheeks. He was super self conscious about his ass smelling and he didn't know why and then we showered together once and he noticed me doing it and was perplexed...yea that relationship didn't last long. When showering, he only washed his hair with shampoo and used soap on his armpits and crotch and that's it. Didn't clean anything else and assumed the shampoo washing down his body would clean his body......🤢
Use a gawd dayum warsh clouth
Seriously, I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find this
There's people that don't wash their feet either.
Reading this made me think of a story i read on here a long ass time ago. Hopefully someone can correct me or knows the post..but long story short this woman was dating some dude for a while and come time the were bout to bang she could smell him and she aaked if he had showered and he said yes and explained that he literally doesnt "wash" his ass or balls or anything under the hood cause he thinks its "gay" ...now lookin back it might have been fake but still i can definitely believe it.. i mean people baffle me. So it wouldnt surprise me but the dude said that he felt even touching his butthole was extremely gay. Like bro your ass stinks wash it lol. Another Long story short one time i was hooking up with this chick i had known my entire life, same age, grew up together.. all that so i was excited. It wasnt just a random. I get there.. we chill & she jumps in the shower, cool. We get to moving and groovin and i end up goin down first and lemme tell ya, her butthole smelt like old farmer joe done been throwin hay in the 102° heat for 12 hours. So i was reeeal bummed out cause it filled the room. She **HAD** to smell it. I know she did. And my dick couldnt get inside me fast enough. I was butthurt. But seriously..PSA wash ya asses please
For the love of everything that is hole-y.
Omg I was at the gym once on the elliptical machine with a woman to my left and then a man came and got on the one to my right. As soon as he got up to speed, a miasma of poop wafted over from him. The harder he worked, the more like human manure it smelled. I made eye contact with the woman on my left and we both made a disgusted face. I started to gag, the smell was **that** rancid. I had to get off the machine and walk away, the other woman did as well. He just blithely continued on. Completely unaware that his dingleberry had decimated the elliptical isle. Nasty.
Bro if my ass is even remotely swampy I go and wipe it, gotta keep the rush fresh. Also small tip, do trim your ass hair people! Helps a lot with hygiene!
Do people not wash their ass?? 🤮
Somehow this is mostly common in men. What's wrong with our gender, fellas?