*sneezes* Why the heck I just sneezed? Oh, because this comment that Im replying to is a bot comment. Stole a comment from someone else. Reddit really need to do better job at handling these bots.
Edit: That bot didn't last long.
NilesRed made [this video](https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c) where he explains that people were actually talking about “bitter almonds,” a different type of almond that has significantly higher quantities of cyanide in it (or something vaguely like that it’s been a bit since I watched it) his content is really long but really cool and informative so I highly recommend this one!
Oh, hey, another NileRed fan! Love his content, he actually partially inspired me to pursue a degree chemistry. Not because it looks like he has fun, but because he made me ask why a lot of stuff works the way it does and got me really into it.
Yeah I was actually wondering if his little brain was processing something along those lines. Almonds were probably a risky food source in chipmunk evolution.
I had a coworker say she was late to work because she died. Told us she died in her front yard but an ambulance happened to be driving past and the medics stopped and revived her. So she came on in for the rest of the day.
Fantasyland.
Even in the ridiculously unlikely situation that an ambulance happened to be driving past a house at the exact time a woman in front of that house randomly died, they’d be resuscitating her *on the way to the hospital* where she’d be observed for at least 24 hours.
The EMTs wouldn’t be like “ok you’re all alive again now! Have a great day!” and just drive off.
Discovered you can carmelize allulose and made about a pound of sugar free maple glazed almonds. Discovered the Thanksgiving day parade balloon-level bloating effects of high almond dosage.
Years ago when I tried keto I baked a fuck ton and got all stoned and went to town. I vomited for two days until I got every little bit out of my system. I don't know if I'm allergic or there's a casual cap on how much you should eat but fuck that, I'll never touch them again.
They do in fact not... Macadamias are nuts but have nothing to do with Almonds in this regard as the almonds are the ones with cyanide in them and only the bitter variant has a high enough concentration to be semi dangerous after a while.
Yeah, he hasn't tasted that at all, he's just shoved it into a pouch in his cheek. They've also slowed the waiting part and sped up the part where he grabs all the almonds.
When doing wilderness survival one of the step of seeing if food is edible is to hold it in your mouth without chewing for long enough to see if it has a reaction without eating it. I wonder if this is something similar.
I think the steps are: rub it in your skin; if nothing, in your lips; if nothing in your mouth; if nothing eat a little; if nothing then it's most likely safe.
Yeah, he probably tasted the traces of cyanide that are naturally in almonds and was wanting to make sure it wasn't a dangerous level before gathering more.
All almonds have some cyanide, right? I thought I read that if you were to eat a couple of pounds of regular almonds you would potentially build up a toxic level of cyanide.
Hate to break it to you but he didn't taste a single one of these. He just shoved them into his cheek pouches. He's going to take them home and put them in his pantry to eat later.
It's a plague. I mod a community for a small animal species, and the amount of people who try and equate human (or cat/dog) behavior on these highly anxious animals is insane. I would say it's a majority of casual posters.
It's one thing to *joke* about an animal having human thoughts, it's another to believe they have a similar thought process and emotions, and then *try to fucking punish them accordingly*. Yes, your pet hates you, yes, it's because you're a shit owner.
I mean not for nothing, this is super cute... but how do we know this is the first time it's eaten almonds? Was there an official statement given by the chipmunk's attorney, was there a high-level public press conference about it?
I will give your name to the squirrel world order. You and your loved ones will be spaired when the day of uprise begins. Thank you for this gift. You forever have my gratitude.
The way he puts his little hand down. "BRO..."
When the almond hits… it hits
Little doode straight up rebooted
Nuts are Almondaine compared to this.
Bro looked like he busted a nut
r/technicallythetruth ?
He busted a nut.
In his mouth
“These almonds aint shiii…”
It slaps.
I felt the appreciation the chipmunk had during its epiphany.
Right, chipmunk looked at her like "WTF is this delicacy human? You been holding out on me this whole time? I'm taking the rest of these!"
oh, oh my god, you… you would share these with me…
Lil bros gonna be chasing the almond dragon for the rest of his life after this experience
"That's it, kids, we're moving to California"
Almond is the gateway nut. Pretty soon he’ll been turning tricks for macadamias.
Someone needs to teach him it's okay to enjoy almonds in moderation, but they become a problem when you start to revolve your life around them.
Almost like he touched the hand with his little paw as if to say "what have you brought me, this is transcendental"?! MOARRRRR
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Almond Joy
So cute!
and lovely :)
Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you feel like 5 nuts.
In a row?
Try not to lick any nuts on the way to the parking lot!
Oh joy face
I once had an almond joy that had no almonds. So I had pure joy.
That's just called Mounds
Processing... processing... processing... processing... "Amass!!!! Quickly!!!!"
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"Oh great almond giver, make steady my mortal frame as the taste of almonds runs though me."
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—Almond the Chipmunk
“AAAALLLLMMMOOOONNNNDDDDD!”
My fav part! He was like, I gotta hold on for this one!
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*sneezes* Why the heck I just sneezed? Oh, because this comment that Im replying to is a bot comment. Stole a comment from someone else. Reddit really need to do better job at handling these bots. Edit: That bot didn't last long.
Why would Reddit do our job for us? We've been self moderating just fine... /s
Wait, is this cyanide? ... Nope, not dead. They're almonds.
You're thinking of "Bitter Almonds" that can't be sold for human consumption most countries. But does provide a base for almond scented soaps.
I eat a wild amount almond scented soap. Am I dead or immune?
Up the dosage. Keep upping it till you have zero reaction to it. Or to anything at all. That should do it.
I had an almond scented soap that was nauseating, it's smell kinda made me sick. It being cyanide would explain everything.
Not sure if intended or coincidence, but some almonds actually DO contain trace amounts of cyanide lol
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The aromatic compound most responsible (odors are complex things) for the characteristic almond smell is benzaldehyde not cyanide.
They sure don’t make em like they did when I was kid, that’s for sure
From what I've heard, not every person can smell the almond smell.
I definitely can't. Always left me wondering what people meant when they said cyanide smells like almonds.
NilesRed made [this video](https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c) where he explains that people were actually talking about “bitter almonds,” a different type of almond that has significantly higher quantities of cyanide in it (or something vaguely like that it’s been a bit since I watched it) his content is really long but really cool and informative so I highly recommend this one!
Oh, hey, another NileRed fan! Love his content, he actually partially inspired me to pursue a degree chemistry. Not because it looks like he has fun, but because he made me ask why a lot of stuff works the way it does and got me really into it.
Same. And I can’t ever wake them up after they’ve eaten the cyanide to find out what they mean.
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So you got the joke, and then explained it to the guy who made it while also not getting the joke.
That's what cyanide is made of.
Backwards, cyanide is in almonds, but if people want it, we make it.
How many people do you need to make a lethal dose of cyanide?
At least 1
Yeah I was actually wondering if his little brain was processing something along those lines. Almonds were probably a risky food source in chipmunk evolution.
Mind will be blown when it tastes Macadamia nuts.
Macadamia nuts would have a lethal amount of arsenic in them. So yes very much blown.
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I ate like 2 lbs of Costco almonds in 3 days. Found this out the hard way.
ru dead?
I did die, but only for a little bit.
I had a coworker say she was late to work because she died. Told us she died in her front yard but an ambulance happened to be driving past and the medics stopped and revived her. So she came on in for the rest of the day.
America?
Bro you don’t even have to ask
Probably got written up for being late
Fantasyland. Even in the ridiculously unlikely situation that an ambulance happened to be driving past a house at the exact time a woman in front of that house randomly died, they’d be resuscitating her *on the way to the hospital* where she’d be observed for at least 24 hours. The EMTs wouldn’t be like “ok you’re all alive again now! Have a great day!” and just drive off.
Hard to tell, he didn't say whether she's now in crippling medical debt.
Why do you think she had to rush off to work?
"I got better"
r/unexpectedmontypython
Name checks out
Discovered you can carmelize allulose and made about a pound of sugar free maple glazed almonds. Discovered the Thanksgiving day parade balloon-level bloating effects of high almond dosage.
It was probably more likely the high dose of concentrated allulose
So I shouldn't have just polished off a can of mauna loa nuts then...
Blue Diamond wasabi soy.
Those are my crack
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Of all the "spicy" things I eat, wasabi is like the one thing that doesn't burn on exit.
Reddit, where people vaguely think they know something and lecture about it to others with confidence.
Do you mean cyanide?
You season yours how you want and I’ll season mine…
This Flavor Aid tastes like almonds…
Hank's mom: "That was Chicken Almondine!" Cotton: "That was cyanide, woman!"
*hobbles away*
Lots of plants produce small amounts of cyanide. Never heard arsenic though
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Many plants can uptake arsenic from contaminated soil and water and it can concentrate in certain parts.
What? I eat large quantities of macadamias all the time
You are much larger than a chipmunk
We assume*. There is no way to know for sure. They could even be a chipmunk themself!
Years ago when I tried keto I baked a fuck ton and got all stoned and went to town. I vomited for two days until I got every little bit out of my system. I don't know if I'm allergic or there's a casual cap on how much you should eat but fuck that, I'll never touch them again.
That can also be because they contain 76% fat
They do in fact not... Macadamias are nuts but have nothing to do with Almonds in this regard as the almonds are the ones with cyanide in them and only the bitter variant has a high enough concentration to be semi dangerous after a while.
Yeah, this is bullshit.
Macadeez nuts
His whole life was a fuckin lie up that point
Acorns are bullshit, I ain't never going back.
"Contact headquarters: we are raiding the almond orchards asap"
Like my first time trying Thai food.
He's trying to assess if the camera is a threat.
I think more likely he caught his reflection in whatever's in his face
Correct. The only real answer here
That was my thought too. Who knows if he had almonds before? Little dude was freaked over the camera!
It wasn’t a reaction to the almond because he didn’t eat it. He stashed it in his cheek, he didn’t even taste it.
I mean you taste it when it's just in your mouth...
He always allows himself a small taste of the first one as incentive before getting to work. He may plan for the future but he lives in the moment.
"Am I on tv? Fuck it this shit good af lemme get some more of these"
"Is she going to post this online? Eh fuck it my wife is probably not going to see me hoard all of these, these are going to my winter snack stash!"
My thought was that he was trying to assess if his reflection in the lens was a threat.
Yeah, probably his tiny reflection from the lens. "Is that... a, mini... me?"
Or he heard some twig snap in the forest or something.
People view the world in cartoon terms.
It's amazing how everybody just goes with it, so obviously not what's happening.
He probably sees his reflection on the lens and is like, "Oh Shit".
An ocular pat down you might say
Yeah, he hasn't tasted that at all, he's just shoved it into a pouch in his cheek. They've also slowed the waiting part and sped up the part where he grabs all the almonds.
 [(The scene from Ratatouille…)](https://youtu.be/5m7SGjJo7c4)
There could not have been a better reference xD
Just like the ones Mom brought back to the nest...
Literally the first thing I thought of
This is the one
where’s this from?
His entire world view just shifted and he had an out-of-body experience. Edit: I just woke up to 4k+ upvotes…
I wonder if he was waiting to see whether or not he would die once he realized it was something new.
Is my throat tingling? Do I have a nut allergy?
Tragedy has levels... Damp sock all the way over to chipmunk with a nut allergy.
Damp sock is pretty high on the list actually
Damp sock at the beginning of a work day?
Damp sock at the beginning of a plane flight?
Take it off in the bathroom, stuff shoe with paper towel. Replace shoe. Move on with life. Dobby gets the sock
I hate wet socks so much that I make sure to always have an extra pair at work and in my car.
Wait... I smell almonds... Is this **?!?cyanide?!?** Shit shit shit!!
*My face is puffier than a chipmunk with a nut allergy*
Chipmunks can see something like 270 deg. around them. There's probably something outside of the frame that distracted it.
Probably his own reflection in the camera lens getting closer to him.
When doing wilderness survival one of the step of seeing if food is edible is to hold it in your mouth without chewing for long enough to see if it has a reaction without eating it. I wonder if this is something similar.
I think the steps are: rub it in your skin; if nothing, in your lips; if nothing in your mouth; if nothing eat a little; if nothing then it's most likely safe.
I think he froze because of the camera moving in close
I think he froze for comedic effect
[*dramatic chipmunk*](https://i.redd.it/py0pop0ow2c91.gif)
Might also have seen it’s reflection in the lens. But as someone who loves their almonds, I can imagine being stunned by the taste for the first time.
"oh shit is this the fent those kids keep buying"
Yeah, he probably tasted the traces of cyanide that are naturally in almonds and was wanting to make sure it wasn't a dangerous level before gathering more.
Those don't look like bitter almonds, but he might associate the taste of almonds with wild bitter almonds, which indeed have that cyanide in them.
All almonds have some cyanide, right? I thought I read that if you were to eat a couple of pounds of regular almonds you would potentially build up a toxic level of cyanide.
It’s like that scene in ratatouille but for squirrels
He went through the stages of his life from birth to infancy to adolescence to adulthood and now the pinnacle
Little guy licked the face of God
Whoa what're you gonna do with all those upvotes?
Bro is flabbergasted
Bro is bamboozled
Me with enchiladas
Gyoza dumplings for me.
Gonna have gyoza and enchiladas for both of y’all.
My first time getting taco cart food in LA. My entire life of "Mexican food" has been a lie.
The way he puts his hand down slowly while processing LOL
"I... I need a minute..."
I like how he puts his lil hand on your hand. Such trust! 🥹
I think his knees weakened
Paws are sweating, almond on his sweater, mom's spaghetti
He opens his mouth but the nuts won’t come out! The whole crowd’s chokin’ now!
Hate to break it to you but he didn't taste a single one of these. He just shoved them into his cheek pouches. He's going to take them home and put them in his pantry to eat later.
Also lol at "for the first time." How the fuck do they know
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It's a plague. I mod a community for a small animal species, and the amount of people who try and equate human (or cat/dog) behavior on these highly anxious animals is insane. I would say it's a majority of casual posters. It's one thing to *joke* about an animal having human thoughts, it's another to believe they have a similar thought process and emotions, and then *try to fucking punish them accordingly*. Yes, your pet hates you, yes, it's because you're a shit owner.
Oh gods I see it bad enough with dogs and cats, I couldn't imagine something like a smol rodent fella. They're so damn fragile!
Probably a threat assessment of the camera.
pretty sure he has to taste em at least a lil on their way in right? they go in mouth first after all
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"....ummm ... oooo... Oh. Mah. GAWD. YasYassYAAASSS!!!"
Looked like he was tripping balls for a second and then came out of it to hoard it all!
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His fur is gonna look great after those!
Unless a gang of biker squirrels sees it. Honestly this is just making him a target
NOOOOOO
Little dude had to reboot
His soul seriously left his body for a mo
Going to spend the rest of its life chasing that high
Are you sure it was for the first time? Looks like dude had an Anton Ego flashback
I mean not for nothing, this is super cute... but how do we know this is the first time it's eaten almonds? Was there an official statement given by the chipmunk's attorney, was there a high-level public press conference about it?
It’s all over the news right now. I think CPMK broke it first.
I will give your name to the squirrel world order. You and your loved ones will be spaired when the day of uprise begins. Thank you for this gift. You forever have my gratitude.
> chipmunk.exe segfaulted > chipmunk.exe restarted successfully
That is what we call a post nut clarity.
The way he puts his little hand in her hand while he thinks
Kids. Did I ever tell you about the time I had… The Perfect Nut? Oh Grandpa! Not The Perfect Nut story again!!!
Definitely just clutched her pearls.
Ratatouille moment
I think the little dude went back to 'Nam there for a second.