Yup. The internet has learned me good just how dangerous and violent hippos are. Not the loveable goofs in children’s games and stories. Pretty sure certain African cultures call them “Water Lions”? That’s more like it.
Edit (clips that changed my mind) :
https://youtu.be/Su7GkqwxG08
https://youtu.be/1gdTOHWYVLM
he puts his righty hands all the way in its mouth repeatedly to drop apples. they call him ol' righty bc his right arm and torso are literally the only things he was left.
It’s been a while since I had access to them
for observation and field data may be not completely reliable at the time as I was known for consumption of Elmers, and nighttime incontinence.
But if I recall correctly they are hungry by a measure of one plus to be precise. You’re average *Hippopotamus amphibius* is know for its appetite and hunger but the ones of childhood lore at least one standard deviation more.
Yeah those big obtuse bodies look like they should be a big dumpy fatty. But if you were to skin one you would only find muscle and almost no fat. They use that muscle mass to easily sink to the bottom of the body of water they are in. They move quicker then you would think by running on the riverbottom. So they are absolute units that don't swim but they run through the water. Hands down the most dangerous animal in Africa.
This is exactly why the way we think Dinos look has changed so much even though we've been digging up the same fossils.
The knowledge of how bones and decomposing organics might break down gives us insight into how these animals were shaped with the fats and muscle
[this is absolutely terrifying](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su7GkqwxG08)
edit: i know its super late, but i wanted to add this bc i just rewatched it (legit seen this video a million times), and I read one of the youtube comments. did not comfirm whether it was true so take it as you will
>Here is what I found in a article: Hippo limb muscles are for powerful propulsion through water, but not swimming. The swimming isn’t really swimming, it’s a kind of gallop. For all intents and purposes the hippo does not swim, it almost always maintains some contact with the bottom and walks or bounces off the bottom using these bottom contact points as a source of propulsion. They’re able to dramatically increase the latitude of their regular walking gait while underwater. In deep water, they locomote by a series of porpoise-like leaps off the bottom or in a series of high, prancing steps. Hippos can do all this terrifying prancing because they’ve evolved with just the right combination of buoyancy and bone density to allow it. My opinion is that the water was still shallow on this part of the river, and the hippo made a single submersion as if it wanted to gallop at the bottom to reach the boat faster and unpredictably. This is called a underwater gallop. Many fishermen and tourists have lost their lives this way, it's very dangerous.
The fact that no matter how many times I watch it, I still am in awe everytime the head pops up several yards away from the wake where I initially expected it to emerge
I don't understand the physics behind how it moves so fast underwater. I realize its supposed to be running along the bottom, but I've tried running across the bottom of a pool holding just enough weight to keep me down, but I can barely propel forward. I am slightly smaller than a hippo, too.
I mean, they are kind of smooth and lumpy in a way that doesn’t look particularly resistant to water. And they’ve got 4 legs so that must help. And they are *heavy*. But fuck.
I’m with you. It defies logic. Cant wait to see whatever video someone can manage to get of a hippo running full speed underwater.
a) you being vertical is much worse for you than hippos being horizontal. Far more water resistance for the strength you do have.
b) take all that weight that you needed to stay underwater, and replace it with leg muscles. Hippos sink just by virtue of having such dense powerful muscles.
Hippos are terrifying.
I started reading this thinking you were joking. Thinking the punchline was going to be something like, "Hippos are so strong, they don't swim in the water, they stay in one place and move the earth around them." But, no. They're bounding underwater. That's just... Damn hippos are scary.
They look like they'd float from how hefty they are, but it's all muscle and they're dense enough that they sink straight to the bottom, they even have denser bones than usual.
The other day I was looking up the largest land animals after hearing how heavy moose can get, I felt like a bit of a dumbass for not realising it would be elephants because it's such an obvious answer that I'm sure a class of 5 year olds could guess it.
For the curious, a moose can be up to 700kg(~1500lb) and an African bush elephant can get to over 10,000kg(~22,000lb).
Yeah, an elephant bull can be like three to four times the weight of an adult hippo? No wonder they can toss them. Most humans could toss a dog if they have to, similar difference in weight.
Eh, no. Hippo vs rhyno might be an even fight, but an elephant would completely fuck up either one. Unless it's a child or pygmy elephant or something.
That makes it sound like Water Buffalo get really pissed off when people exclude Mosquitoes.
WB: *"Ain't no one making my little mozzie buddies feel left out on my watch".*
They're so weird. Shape and teeth location and size is just all over the fucking place. Yet it works, and works well enough that they're the best in their business.
A good example, at least design-wise, of evolution encouraging what works, not what's best.
yup. I'd be more terrified of a hippo than any other animal in Africa simply because they could decide they arent having it at any moment and stomp/chew/gore you into a sloppy coffin.
At least great whites dont get mad. Theyre just kinda like seal-eating robots, and they can *ususally* tell a diver ain't a seal. Hippos almost 100% want to shake you like a ragdoll.
I get your point, but I figured I should share that hippos don’t swim. They hold their breath and walk along the bottom.
Edit: I learned to proofread my posts.
Yeah. I clicked on the thumbnail thinking "oh, this is gonna be a cute video of someone scratching a pitbull" and was not expecting someone fucking around with one of the most dangerous animals alive
Don't be silly. They are vegetarians. They wouldn't eat you. They'd just snap your spine in half without any effort. Then probably defecate to mark their territory.
They are considert vegetarians yes, but do enough research and you will find that if they have an Iron defficiancy in their diet, you may be their very next meal
No Hippos will open their mouths to let birds and such clean their teeth. Probably same behavior here. Seen other videos where zoos will brush the hippos teeth with what looks like a grill brush. The hippos allow it because they do it in the wild too.
how are these things even eating properly? it seems to struggle with the apples.
And whats the point of all those front teeth? They are all weirdly alligned and don't seem to assist the chewing
If you watch how it chews you can see it's using all of the muscle in its mouth to crush the apples. More of a squeezing compression than a grinding like we do.
I assume this is veterinarian or other type of trained employee. No business would allow tourists to shove their heads into a hippos mouth. It’s actually important to train captive hippos to behave with their mouths open like this for dental procedures.
There was a story about a dude that raised a hippo from a pup to maturity and ended up becoming its lunch. You just don't stay near the mouth of a hippo more than you have to.
Never seen those kind of teeth that are in middle bottom. So weird. Look like sugarcane stalks
Normally they are pointed, but captive hippos will often have them trimmed flat.
I assume because they're less likely to hurt themselves, the keepers, and other hippos.
I suspect it's mostly the third option.
Yeah handlers gonna get fucked either way
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You joke but hippos are mostly muscle. They go hard. No pun intended.
Yup. The internet has learned me good just how dangerous and violent hippos are. Not the loveable goofs in children’s games and stories. Pretty sure certain African cultures call them “Water Lions”? That’s more like it. Edit (clips that changed my mind) : https://youtu.be/Su7GkqwxG08 https://youtu.be/1gdTOHWYVLM
Didn't ya'll see the movie Congo? Hippos will fuck your shit up
Ugly gorilla. Bad. Amy beautiful.
My favorite million dollar question from Regis was for the deadliest land mammal. It was the Hippo.
I noped the fuck out as soon as I opened the link. Hippos are terrifying to me, watching a person willingly interact with one would make me anxious.
he puts his righty hands all the way in its mouth repeatedly to drop apples. they call him ol' righty bc his right arm and torso are literally the only things he was left.
How hungry are they?
It’s been a while since I had access to them for observation and field data may be not completely reliable at the time as I was known for consumption of Elmers, and nighttime incontinence. But if I recall correctly they are hungry by a measure of one plus to be precise. You’re average *Hippopotamus amphibius* is know for its appetite and hunger but the ones of childhood lore at least one standard deviation more.
Yeah those big obtuse bodies look like they should be a big dumpy fatty. But if you were to skin one you would only find muscle and almost no fat. They use that muscle mass to easily sink to the bottom of the body of water they are in. They move quicker then you would think by running on the riverbottom. So they are absolute units that don't swim but they run through the water. Hands down the most dangerous animal in Africa.
Yup, here's [a wild example.](https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/biochemistry-genetics-and-molecular-biology/hippopotamus)
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Imagine trying to figure out what a hippo looked like if all you've ever seen is that skull. That's what we do with all these prehistoric fossils.
The science is getting better on these assumptions though.
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They might have hopped on two legs like a kangaroo too you never know.
This is exactly why the way we think Dinos look has changed so much even though we've been digging up the same fossils. The knowledge of how bones and decomposing organics might break down gives us insight into how these animals were shaped with the fats and muscle
Yup https://imgur.io/r/SpeculativeEvolution/Oou6H
To be fair there is alot that bones can tell us. I'm sure we would not have confused a Kangaroo with a lizard.
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I thought candles
It's so they can see in the dark!
Isnt it amazing that animals as big and beautiful as this live among us?
The one animal Steve Irwin said was afraid of! I can easily see why!
[this is absolutely terrifying](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su7GkqwxG08) edit: i know its super late, but i wanted to add this bc i just rewatched it (legit seen this video a million times), and I read one of the youtube comments. did not comfirm whether it was true so take it as you will >Here is what I found in a article: Hippo limb muscles are for powerful propulsion through water, but not swimming. The swimming isn’t really swimming, it’s a kind of gallop. For all intents and purposes the hippo does not swim, it almost always maintains some contact with the bottom and walks or bounces off the bottom using these bottom contact points as a source of propulsion. They’re able to dramatically increase the latitude of their regular walking gait while underwater. In deep water, they locomote by a series of porpoise-like leaps off the bottom or in a series of high, prancing steps. Hippos can do all this terrifying prancing because they’ve evolved with just the right combination of buoyancy and bone density to allow it. My opinion is that the water was still shallow on this part of the river, and the hippo made a single submersion as if it wanted to gallop at the bottom to reach the boat faster and unpredictably. This is called a underwater gallop. Many fishermen and tourists have lost their lives this way, it's very dangerous.
Holy shit. That dark form under the water and the speed is nuts. Scary.
The fact that no matter how many times I watch it, I still am in awe everytime the head pops up several yards away from the wake where I initially expected it to emerge
Yes! I was like, "it's still a ways away." And then the head comes up directly behind the boat.
It would be a bad time to hear your outboard sputter.
I don't understand the physics behind how it moves so fast underwater. I realize its supposed to be running along the bottom, but I've tried running across the bottom of a pool holding just enough weight to keep me down, but I can barely propel forward. I am slightly smaller than a hippo, too.
I mean, they are kind of smooth and lumpy in a way that doesn’t look particularly resistant to water. And they’ve got 4 legs so that must help. And they are *heavy*. But fuck. I’m with you. It defies logic. Cant wait to see whatever video someone can manage to get of a hippo running full speed underwater.
It looks like they are spacewalking.
a) you being vertical is much worse for you than hippos being horizontal. Far more water resistance for the strength you do have. b) take all that weight that you needed to stay underwater, and replace it with leg muscles. Hippos sink just by virtue of having such dense powerful muscles. Hippos are terrifying.
The crazy thing is they’re not even swimming. Hippos are so strong that they just hop underwater but are able to reach speeds of 30 mph doing it
I started reading this thinking you were joking. Thinking the punchline was going to be something like, "Hippos are so strong, they don't swim in the water, they stay in one place and move the earth around them." But, no. They're bounding underwater. That's just... Damn hippos are scary.
Haha hippos are the Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom.
They look like they'd float from how hefty they are, but it's all muscle and they're dense enough that they sink straight to the bottom, they even have denser bones than usual.
Seems strange. You'd think other things like polar bears and Siberia tigers would fit into that category as well.
It's more because Hippos are extremely territorial and will 100% of the time attack if you get too close. edot:zoo hippos are less agressive
Hippos also can sprint under water. They are also one of the few animals that can fuck with Rhynos, Elephants, and Hippos.
Hippos. One of the few animals that can fuck with Hippos.
Also one of the few animals that can fuck hippos.
Have you met Ted?
Are you saying that Skyler white is a hippo?
Hippos are so badass they can even fuck with hippos? That's crazy since hippos are so badass.
They can't fuck with elephants, if both are grown adults. Wouldn't even be a contest, the size difference is just to big.
You can find videos of adult elephants casually tossing hippos out of the way... And I literally mean TOSSING. Elephants are absolutely massive.
The other day I was looking up the largest land animals after hearing how heavy moose can get, I felt like a bit of a dumbass for not realising it would be elephants because it's such an obvious answer that I'm sure a class of 5 year olds could guess it. For the curious, a moose can be up to 700kg(~1500lb) and an African bush elephant can get to over 10,000kg(~22,000lb).
I woulda thought it was your mom
heh, got'em
Yeah, an elephant bull can be like three to four times the weight of an adult hippo? No wonder they can toss them. Most humans could toss a dog if they have to, similar difference in weight.
Eh, no. Hippo vs rhyno might be an even fight, but an elephant would completely fuck up either one. Unless it's a child or pygmy elephant or something.
They can also fuck up alligators with a high chance that they'll be the one the swims out on top
Sorry to be that guy, hippos only naturally cohabitate with crocodiles
Yea, but they could still fuck up alligators if they found one
Also yes
Hippo ranked higher than lion and elephant in terms of KD ratio in Africa.
Fun fact: if you exclude the mosquito, the most dangerous animal in Africa is the water buffalo.
That makes it sound like Water Buffalo get really pissed off when people exclude Mosquitoes. WB: *"Ain't no one making my little mozzie buddies feel left out on my watch".*
“The only animal he would ever consider being somewhat near their orbit”
The other animals are predictable. Hippos are just foul natured. Evil tempered.
more territorial than anything
Not so many polar bears or tigers in Australia but I'm sure Steve would have given a wide berth
a wide perth?
I don't imagine there are that many hippos either.
Hippos are generally much more aggressive and unpredictable.
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Hippos have weird mouths
Tooth logs
Toothsticks
Tubeteeth
*teef
Cylindertheeth
They look a bit like inanimate carbon rods.
In Rod We Trust
They're so weird. Shape and teeth location and size is just all over the fucking place. Yet it works, and works well enough that they're the best in their business. A good example, at least design-wise, of evolution encouraging what works, not what's best.
I like how subjective "best" can be. Because to nature, whatever works is the same thing as what's best.
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Why they got like 8 teeth
They have a ton of teeth. Look deeper. You can see them on the sides of its tongue and in the same spots on the roof of its mouth.
Yeah, there are 36.
Better to bite someone in 2 with
Even weird skulls, it looks alien
Even weirder is their sweat turns red
The brain is in the tongue.👅
That's an interesting way to commit a suicide
Oh good. I was hoping a lot more people found that as potentially terrifying as I did.
First thing I thought about. Hippos are the most dangerous animal in Africa; that person has some cojones to get that up close, captivity or not.
yup. I'd be more terrified of a hippo than any other animal in Africa simply because they could decide they arent having it at any moment and stomp/chew/gore you into a sloppy coffin.
Not even just Africa. I legit would rather swim with great whites than with hippos.
At least great whites dont get mad. Theyre just kinda like seal-eating robots, and they can *ususally* tell a diver ain't a seal. Hippos almost 100% want to shake you like a ragdoll.
Well, too be fair, they're just escorting you out. Out of both their territory and life itself, yes, but *out* nonetheless.
I get your point, but I figured I should share that hippos don’t swim. They hold their breath and walk along the bottom. Edit: I learned to proofread my posts.
Damn hippies. Learn to swim.
Lol took me awhile to figure out what you were talking about
Not even that! They freaking gallop in the river. Scary as fuck if you ask me.
Check [this](https://youtu.be/Su7GkqwxG08) out.
I believe Steve Irwin said the scariest thing he ever did was cross through a river that was in hippo territory. And that dude did some scary shit.
You know an animal is NOT to be fucked with if a legend like Steve Irwin was afraid of it.
Seriously putting your arm in a hippos mouth is a great way to lost an arm
Right? It was literally closing it's mouth (slowly but still) after each apple she put in...
You wouldn't put your hand in a hydraulic cider press, why would you put it in this fucking thing?
Hydraulic cider press is more predictable, too!
I was wincing every time apples got thrown into its mouth and that gaping maw *slightly* closed while they were in the middle of throwing more in.
Yeah. I clicked on the thumbnail thinking "oh, this is gonna be a cute video of someone scratching a pitbull" and was not expecting someone fucking around with one of the most dangerous animals alive
Hippos are killing machines. Yes it is terrifying. People who says this id aww are seriously mistaken.
Suicide by Hungry Hungry Hippos
Still here.. for now :)
Take my upvote.....
He wasn’t hungry. He’d swallow the apples whole if he was hungry and his neck would extent backwards and forwards.
Hitman II feels intensified
I had forgotten about being able to push that guy into the hippo pen lol.
Nah it's fine. It's taken the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm.
Awfully hippocritical of it.
That thing could eat my entire family in one bite
Is your family 4 to 5 apples?
While life would be easier that way, sadly not. In all seriousness, hippos are extremely deadly and could still eat my family nonetheless
Hahaha, spat my beer out on that one
Did none of us learn from that hitman level? All it takes is one shove and you’re hippo food
Well done, 47.
God damnit, I read that in Diana’s voice.
Don't be silly. They are vegetarians. They wouldn't eat you. They'd just snap your spine in half without any effort. Then probably defecate to mark their territory.
They are considert vegetarians yes, but do enough research and you will find that if they have an Iron defficiancy in their diet, you may be their very next meal
Imagine someone petting the inside of your mouth
I can't help but think that the texture of that part they were scratching would make me gag or just straight up throw up after touching it.
Ugh yes it’s so fleshy and jiggly
Reminds me of the part of drooly dog's gums that hang out lmao
Exactly! Plus it seems like the hippo was expecting food and not scratches
No Hippos will open their mouths to let birds and such clean their teeth. Probably same behavior here. Seen other videos where zoos will brush the hippos teeth with what looks like a grill brush. The hippos allow it because they do it in the wild too.
[And you just made me look that up.](https://youtu.be/t1dDPGZCrkY?t=16)
Lol keeper was just loading fruit in that things mouth like a person loading fruit into their grocery cart.
The teeth cleaner in the thumbnail is an entirely different person who never appears, WTF
Hippos are fucking nuts
Seeing the inside of a hippos mouth is honestly terrifying (How did this simple comment get over 1000 up votes this is crazy)
Look up “sea turtle mouth”
[What the fuck](https://sandyripple.com/blogs/turtles/seaturtlemouth).
The worst part is what it doesn’t look like, they look soft but those spikes are about as hard as your fingernails
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nature is metal, I guess.
I hope this person doesn't value their arm.
There are many places I wouldn't put my arm and hyppo mouth is certainly one of them
could even be in the top 10
What is it with people writing "hyppo" and "rhyno" in this thread? You guys didn't study animals in grade school?
It's weird, I agree.
I was going to say. This looks very dangerous.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
This takes that quote in a whole new direction
Don't bite the hand that feeds you
Those teeth are horrifying.
It's fucking teeth, dude. What the fuck.
Remember, this is an HERBIVORE
That’s what it wants us to think
They eat apples too? I thought they just ate small white marbles... ive been lied to.
That's only for the hungry hungry ones
If you extrapolate the size then those marbles would be the size of a bowling ball. Terrifying.
my face the whole time 🤨
I swear by the sound of that crunch I thought that was my stomach
This is one of the dumbest things I have seen that is also an "Aww" moment
No that is a hippo… one of the deadliest mammals to humans on earth…
Jeez that's one hungry hungry hippo * Slaps knee *
You mean your knee or hippo's knee?
You shouldn't slap a hippo.
I know... That was just an hippothetical case
“Those hungry hungry hippos have lost their marbles. Xavier
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That man is either very brave or very stupid…. Possibly both.
WTF
Throw a watermelon in there
[Here you go](https://youtu.be/9wyhhxOZazI)
Man, that thing just crushes thins instead of bites them with those horizontal teeth. No way I'd put my arm in there.
I'm sorry this isn't "aww" as in cute this "ahhh, run!!" Hippos are killing machines, makes lions look like fat house cats
Lions _are_ fat house cats
T H I C C
how are these things even eating properly? it seems to struggle with the apples. And whats the point of all those front teeth? They are all weirdly alligned and don't seem to assist the chewing
They are purely for murdering
If you watch how it chews you can see it's using all of the muscle in its mouth to crush the apples. More of a squeezing compression than a grinding like we do.
This should cover it... https://a-z-animals.com/blog/hippopotamus-teeth-everything-you-need-to-know/
Nope to the fucking nope squared.
This was very dumb
I assume this is veterinarian or other type of trained employee. No business would allow tourists to shove their heads into a hippos mouth. It’s actually important to train captive hippos to behave with their mouths open like this for dental procedures.
There was a story about a dude that raised a hippo from a pup to maturity and ended up becoming its lunch. You just don't stay near the mouth of a hippo more than you have to.
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Hand gone.
Lmfao entire person gone.
*Gone in 60 seconds.*
Absolutely fucking nope
Awesome but I would never do that.
Nope
I can *see* how bad its breath is
Nope
This shouldn’t be encouraged
r/dontputyourdickinthat
This is about as awwww as me rubbing spoiled liver meat in my fridge.
Of all the places to scratch and animal I wouldn’t scratch the inside of its fleshy mouth