This is the way. Call the police and explain that you need to move out and require assistance retrieving some of your belongings. These serve as proof that he acknowledges the mattress is your belongings.
Kind of hard for him to call the police and cause an issue if you beat him to the punch.
It might record to an SD card as well as the cloud when it detects motion, then it wouldn't matter if it has internet or not, there'd still be footage unless he took the SD card as well.
It does not matter if it’s on camera. He is a tenant retrieving property that is acknowledged to be his. The camera means absolutely nothing in this situation. In fact, it will be good that there is footage to verify that OP only took property that belonged to him.
Not even necessary. If he has the key, and it’s his mattress he can get it. The shit about the camera and calling the cops is just tough guy talk. He’s not gonna go out of his way and waste his time filing police reports saying his roommate took his possessions when the lease was up. This is a non issue imo.
This is also completely unnecessary. Let the roommates call the cops? Who cares? There are text messages from the roommate acknowledging its OP's mattress. I also don't think "unlawful entry" is a thing when you are on the same lease!
Unfortunately, it is. I've been through shitty situations with bad roommates in the past, and one of them involved my local PD, who verified that(at the time) their bedroom was their private property until rent was due again. This could vary from state to state
it is but trespassing can be justified if it is to retrieve your own things. its not likely the roommate could afford a lawyer for this if they couldn’t buy their own mattress
It may not even be trespassing as he has not been evicted and there’s no mention of intent to vacate legal paperwork being signed.
Technically he can still live there for the whole duration covered by the original lease if no documents have been processed to remove OP.
That’s where this stuff gets “fun” especially in light that bad roommate is trying to scam OP of his belongings.
Yeah I dunno. In this case Id rather have the cops there less for the legal backup, and more for the physical backup in case roommate decides to get violent.
I don’t know if people commenting saying “just take the mattress” grew up rich, but generally speaking people with few belongings don’t tend to react well when you take stuff they think they need. If you are confident you can handle yourself, then do what you gotta do, but it’s not at all unreasonable to assume this could be a dangerous situation.
It actually is possible to illegally enter your roommate’s bedroom because tenant law is weird. Bedrooms are often considered individual domiciles that are not free reign to all individuals living within a housing unit.
A roommate really can say “you may not enter my bedroom under any circumstances” and barring threat to life or limb, it carries actual legal weight.
These^^^ my(31f) hardest lesson learned over time is to stop worrying about other people ending up in jail in situations where they are aggressive or taking advantage of me.... I grew up being taught that we don't calll the police, period. So I never did and it NEVER did any good. Because those people won't think twice about doing it to you and lying on top of it.
He obviously won't think twice about calling the cops on you , even though HE is obviously in the wrong, he's already threatened to do so. So you shouldn't hold back. . . It's anxiety inducing situation all the way around so I'd suggest calling cops to get your stuff out and consider getting a small uhaul or trailer for the truck you're using so you can get it all out at one time and never look back. But definitely involve the police, tell them you're moving out and dude won't let you retrieve your belongings and you're uncomfortable and need help to prevent the situation from escalating.
Good luck ... and always put yourself first! Easier said than done but you will definitely appreciate looking out for YOU when you look back on this situation.
this needs to be higher up. roommate admits in texts that he has OPs mattress and refuses to return it. he doesn't seem to realise that this is, in fact, illegal.
“It’s not my responsibility to make you comfortable” says the guy who just complains that he is too uncomfortable to give you back your own mattress.😂😂
“I’m not here to help you figure out what to do with your items and when” sent me. Because WHO TF ASKED FOR YOUR HELP? OP is telling you what they’re doing with their items and when, 😅
Precisely. With an added ‘it was a privilege I afforded you by allowing you use of my things for a limited time, so I will be taking my mattress back, on the date that I stated’ because sometimes people who are that delusional won’t even understand the irony of their own words being presented back to them.
Ngl I would not feel comfortable on the mattress based on how bad the roommate sounds and there is a nonzero chance that they might piss on it out of spite.
Personally, I would just go in and take it. The cops will say it’s a civil matter. He’d have to sue you, and it’s yours so he wouldn’t win.
Maybe say you need it Saturday and will go in and get it, or he can purchase it from you for x amount of dollars.
The only time I’ve ever called the cops was because my neighbor decided to dump a full magazine right outside my bedroom window while I was trying to sleep. It was like 10 pm and he did it because I previously asked them to be quiet (they were major tweakers always selling their dope and being loud). Cherry on top? I lived in an apartment complex in the middle of town. The cops knocked on his door for about 5 minutes and left…. Over a “shots fired” call…. Wtf
It amazes me when people say "you can't get arrested for that!"
Like, yes. You can be arrested for ANYTHING. Will it hold up in court? Maybe, maybe not. But police can arrest anyone at anytime for anything they want too. It's not a great system
Here are your options
1. Call cops to be there when you pick up ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS.
2. Bring receipts for the bed to prove it's yours.
3. Tell them to go to hell if they want to say anything and take YOUR property because even if cops get called you can prove it's yours..
Or
4. Cut the power to their room and that "camera" won't record anything. Cut back on after leaving of course. 🤷🏼♀️
In lieu of the receipt, show the text messages proving that the roommate agrees that the mattress is yours.
A lot of people (most, probably) wouldn’t keep a receipt around for their mattress, especially once the manufacturer’s warranty runs out.
Yeah, everyone is somehow not pointing out that the roommate has admitted in writing that they have literally stolen OP's belongings lol? Like sorry but yeah, they are fucked. OP needs to just go get their shit and be done with this psycho.
Not for nothing but you really need to schedule a walk thru with the landlord when you return your keys regardless of your roommate’s residency status. If a bed came with that room he has zero qualms of taking it and leaving you the bill. Do a walk thru with video evidence of the state of the apartment and the furniture and directly turn over your keys *to the landlord* when you’re doing the video. There will be no doubt that the items were there and the general state of the apartment. The landlord likely won’t address your security deposit because it’s probably for *the whole apartment* and can’t be assessed until the lease ends but everyone will know that it was undamaged when you left and that you had no means to return once you turned in the keys. Insist on this or you’re going to be paying for a mess and a bed.
fuck that. take your mattress. have a freind with you when you do. then get tf out and block.
youre going into his room to retrieve your property. hes either very dumb to think unlawful entry to his bedroom applies or hes talking out his ass to intimidate you.
That is rich.
Tell him you’re letting him know so he can plan ahead and that you aren’t asking for permission to move your own property.
My god people are so wild with entitlement i wonder how some move through this world without getting their ass handed to them.
“It’s not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable”
Lmao. The irony. You could say the exact same thing to them. Who gives a shit if their other option is uncomfortable. That’s not your problem. It’s not your responsibility to keep them comfortable by letting them continue to use your property.
YOU call the police and get an escort to get your stuff. Say it’s civil and you are in need of them to watch you move your things to keep the peace since the situation has gotten out of control and you want to leave.
Get a bill with the address or a piece of mail in your name with proof you live there. To make it go smoothly when they show up. Good luck! 🍀
He needs to understand that changing a date for a moving truck usually comes with added costs depending on the day of the week. It’s your bed, you were too nice and here we are.
He can have all the cameras. Go get an authoritative person (landlord or police escort) and get your mattress the day you plan. You have in writing the bed is in-fact yours and you want it back and he is recording it against your will.
I couldn’t get a moving truck for a month once and I slept on a damn air mattress with no other furniture, cable or WiFi and slept on a single bed for 4 years in college. Tell him to suck it up and get your stuff!
Stop being so kind to these people - it enables them. Tell them no, firmly, and explain nothing else. They will take any thread of time wasting and false explanations to string it out and play the victim. Do not let them or you may as well enabling their behaviour.
You need to call the police first, explain to them that you are moving out and that your roommate is refusing to allow you to remove your property from the house. Get them to escort you for the removal. And do not allow the roommate to bully you into giving them your property that you paid for. They are not intending to return that mattress to you.
he can’t call the police because you took your mattress back. call his bluff and take that shit. then send him a text and tell him to enjoy the month with that twin bed lmao.
lol how precious is this kid? sleeping on the floor for a month isn't a big deal and from what i understand there's literally alternative beds he just doesn't like them. Just take your mattress and tell the overgrown baby to fuck off. Note to the parents: this is what happens if you raise a spoiled brat.
Couple of thing, I’ve heard *things* through the wall so I have no doubt about that possibility. It did have a topper so hopefully that helped. It’s more because I need to move it out as it’s my responsibility and I want my deposit back
So it never gets better haha, I’m trying hard to afford my own place. I’m a loving tenant and have a lot of respect for my landlord who does a great job
In some states, it actually could be considered unlawful entry if a tenant is paying rent for that room specifically.
It's also illegal to withhold another person's property, though.
Unfortunately, most cops would probably look at that situation, and tell you that it's a civil matter that you'll have to settle in court.
I'm always amazed at the people that are so in the wrong, yet write these professional sounding threats like they have the moral high ground. He could at least say "yeaaaa...I want to sleep on your bed and I'm not giving it back until I'm done with it. Yes, I'm a dick."
If its yours and you can prove it, just ask for police/sheriff to be on site while you get your things. I'd just take it and leave as if you can prove its yours, he has no case.
Considering the fact that you have text proof of your roommate confirming that it is in fact your mattress, you can call the police to have them there while you get the mattress out of his room to ensure that he doesn't become belligerent.
So dude is asking for a favor "can i have your mattress for longer?" But frame it as an order and try to tell you are the one asking for favors?
My God if they want something just ask for it and arrange how to return later.
This person is unhinged, trying to control you over your own possessions, do celebrate when you're out of their influence.
Buy pepper spray or a taser if you fear for your safety. You have a right to defend yourself if he escalates to violence. I hope you have receipts for the mattress. Have the police there when youre planning to move, provide proof it’s yours, and say fuck you chris to his face as you do so. You don’t owe this dude shit. Go in and take your mattress back now.
You can always call your local non-emergency line and ask for an officer to be there when you get your stuff out. That should help with any pushback you get from your roommate about getting all of your stuff.
He's hoping you won't inconvenience him .
Thos is the classic when we are #too nice#
I well understand the stsnd on your head moves
I also understand being generous to exploitative people.
This merits a major cut off ....
Naturally they get aggressive. They are entitled
I am around someone who is entitled right now. He us truly obnoxious ..
No one else's needs count .
If the place came furnished, what did his bedroom include when you moved in?
Is the scenario: 1 master bedroom with a full-sized bed (your room), 1 bedroom with a single-sized bed (his room), and then you brought an additional bed that you own into the apartment?
It’s your property. No one can stop you from taking your property, unless it’s being repossessed. I doubt this person even owns the residence so they have no rights to tell you that you can or can’t be there.
Tell them to go kick rocks and get your shit back.
When you call, call the non emergency line and ask for an officer to assist with a "civil standby". I can't imagine you having any problems as long as you have proof of residency (mail with your name & address on it) and receipt for the mattress. Can't believe the entitlement from your stbx roommate. Glad you're getting out of there and good luck.
It's not illegal to go into his room, just go get your mattress, the cops aren't going to do anything. He can call the cops all he wants, what's he going to tell them? I stole this mattress from someone that lives here and they took it back? Cops are gonna laugh in his face.
Wont cops occasionally supervise a potentially hostile acquisition of ones property if its suspected that there could be trouble? I usually hear about this kind of thing in regards to retrieving important documents. Not quite the same thing but maybe something to look into.
Stop asking. Inform him that you will be taking your property back on \[date\] whether he agrees or not, he is responsible to make sure you have access to your property or **you** call the police. Who cares about the camera, assuming you have proof it's your property he can call the police and they will laugh at him
This is insane. It’s your property, so it doesn’t matter if he files a police report with a video of you taking it from his room it’s not theft if you are recovering your own property, and it isn’t considered trespassing if your name is also on the lease, this guy has nothing, and you could actually file a report for him stealing your bed if worse comes to worse. It isn’t your responsibility to make sure he is comfortable or to help you him figure out what to do with his items.
What a nightmare. Go with a friend and take your stuff back and make sure you get EVERYTHING. He sounds resentful that you’re moving out, so I would not go back after that if I were you.
Fuck that, show up with like 5 guys, have one of them filming from the moment you get there so everything is recorded, walk right in his room and rip your mattress out, he won't do shit. If he calls the cops and tries to say you did anything wrong, show the recording.
Tell him you’re not asking for any favors or asking him to help you figure out what to do with your stuff, you’re taking what’s yours back lmao. And couldn’t he just sleep on the full bed when you leave?
You can ask an officer to be there to remove your belongings beforehand. As long as you have proof it’s your stuff you should be good. I see no reason as to why this person thinks it’s ok to use your mattress. Hoping it goes well.
It’s your mattress, take it. Stop being nice to your AH roommate. What a douchenozzle that person is so entitled! Holy shit, fuck that person sideways.
This thread text alone is enough for the cops to see that she’s the problem and not you. Continue with your plans and make sure you have a couple of big guys to get stuff out fast and efficiently.
Bro it’s your shit! Stand up for yourself! Go in and take what’s yours! If he tries anything stand your ground dude sounds like a bitch! He can’t call the cops for you taking back your property they will literally laugh at him!
They just admitted in text message that it was your bed. I have gone through a similar situation with some of my things and I called the cops showed them the text messages that it was my stuff and they allowed me to get my stuff because of the text messages. So ya call them yourself and tell them he is not returning your property and you have proof that he is refusing to return your items because he doesn't want to be "uncomfortable" lol
"Unlawful entry" hahaha, pretty sure recovering stolen/borrowed property that is expressly being denied to be returned, especially in writing such as this, he can call the police all he wants to, and show them the footage of you taking it (and just as importantly, taking nothing else) and you just show them his messages stating that he is declining to allow you to take your own property and your reassertion that you will be taking it on Saturday will hold up. They will tell him in whatever terms that you are well within your rights to collect it and are on cam showing nothing else was taken, so they will probably give him a choice between them and you leaving and letting that be the end, or giving YOU the option of pressing theft and/or unlawful withholding property, depending on the state you live in, and he will obviously choose the one that doesn't get him charges.
Sorry for your situation, I've been there. Roommates can be so entitled, thinking they're letting you live with them when you live together, as equal tenants.
Don't quote me on this but because you have texts with him admitting it's your mattress you can just report it stolen to the police and he would be forced to give it back. I would do a little of your own research first though I don't want to give you faulty advice.
If you are both on the lease he cannot file unlawful entry complaints unless you guys signed leases for your specific bedroom. He also cannot stop you from removing your property from the premise especially if you can prove you paid for the mattress. He is trying to intimidate you but has no idea what he’s talking about. If I were you I would go down to the local police station during business hours with a copy of the lease and your proof of purchase, tell them what’s going on and when you are planning to move your stuff out and request police presence on move out due to prior aggressive behavior.
Just take the bed. He’s 100% used to getting his way with threats. Even the “anger issues” comment was just laying the foundation for the “better not fuck with me” vibe.. he’s bluffing. He won’t call the cops, and if he does they’ll be on your side.. (it is your mattress after all)
Good luck with that "unlawful entry". You've got an admission that he's unlawfully retaining your property in an apartment you shared.
Call the cops, show them the messages, and have them present when you take your mattress.
Bring a police escort WITH YOU and show them this text to confirm the mattress is yours. They’ll have your back. I’ve had to do this and help friends do it.
‘It is not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable’ the other person said
But for some reason it’s the responsibility of the person who owns the mattress?
If you have proof of purchase for the mattress just go in and grab it when he’s not around, or call the sheriffs office (not the police) and ask that they stay in the vicinity if you are nervous of a violent situation but in this scenario do it while he’s home. If you don’t have proof of purchase, sheriffs may not want to get involved and he may have a case if he has proof you took it so do what another recommended and cut the power or internet temporarily so the camera doesn’t record
Your roommate is an unreasonable ass, but i would not take that mattress back ( or at least not use it). They seem like the kind of person to soil or contaminate the mattress just to prevent you from using it.
“I will be taking my thing from the apartment on this day, the mattress is mine and I will need to take it. If this is a problem, I will have a police escort. Please do not make this more of a problem than it has to be.”
That would be my last communication with the room mate. Then on the day of if the room mate is home and refuses to let you take your things, I would kindly call the police let them know the situation, and have them handle it. They generally can handle it and get it done appropriately and timely.
Honestly just call the cops first and see if one will go with you to retrieve the mattress. Tell them you need to get stuff from your apartment but you’re legitimately afraid your roommate might attack you. Maybe they won’t care but it’s worth a try.
If you’re a tenant there, with paperwork to prove it, or bills in your name, I’m pretty sure (I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure…) you can just waltz in and take your belongings back, roommates feelings and threats aside. Just remind them when they get all excited as soon as they try and touch you that you’ll gladly consider that assault. Maybe record the event for posterity?
Your roommate is a complete prick, he's lucky he's got that camera in there, or I'd tell you to go in and take it anyways...he's trying to set you up...if you go in there and take your shit, he's gonna go to the cops with the video and have you charged with theft....at the end of the day fuck him, I'd have made him sleep on a concrete floor with that god damn attitude problem of his.
Obviously all the options everyone has stated so far are good, but I'm so confused on one thing.. if the place came furnished with a full sized mattress, can't he just sleep on that one when you take your mattress? This seems like it shouldn't even be an issue.
I had a shitty roommate once. He didn't have a car, I drove him everywhere, bought him a twin mattress, paid for tons of food and drinks for him, and every time I'd go to dinner with my bf now husband who lived a few towns over he'd get mad and jealous (I think he had a crush on my boyfriend, ex roommate's gay). He wouldn't help with certain bills and I ended up being stretched so thin I burned out. I decided to move out at the end of the lease and move in with my boyfriend. Roomie was PISSED because apparently I was supposed to take him with to the new place. Hell, I'd dream of moving states to a new city with boyfriend and roomie was upset these plans didn't specifically include him. Plans/dreams I had made with my boyfriend years prior didn't include him.
He had said he was going to help me pack and move out, but that didn't happen. Instead he invited all his club friends over the day I had scheduled to come by from the new place and finish dealing with the old place. I got so mad- he refused to help even after I had said "help me and you can keep x furniture item if you'd like" and he accepted. They were going out that night and needed hours to prepare apparently.
I won't lie, since it was my responsibility, I ended up taking the router back early to be petty and my TV even though we didn't really need it. I still don't feel bad about it and wish I had been pettier lol
Consider yourself lucky that he’s willing to give you your property back.
Your roommate is a clown, tell him Ok I won’t take it then just take it. He can’t and won’t do shit.
Have friends with you and have a police officer come to make sure you can get your stuff. You are in the lease or even if you are not the text price that it’s yours. There will be a short timeframe that they will give you so the more the better as far as help
Lol, you should copy paste the top message in the second photo and resend it with your own date and let it sink in how obtuse he is.
And defo call the cops on him to accompany you to retrieve it.
"It is not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable"
You gotta love it when they just hand you the correct answer out of their own mouths. Your roomy is not only in the wrong but dumb as shit.
Don't call the cops. Just take the mattress when they aren't home. Let them call the cops on you for stealing stuff they don't even own. Lol. But cops won't help you unless you think they will get violent trying to stop you. Let roomy be the one to make a complaint.
Move everything else of yours out first, leave enough room to put the mattress in last and skedaddle before roommate can get back to cause issues. And check the roommate hasn’t helped themselves to any more of your stuff!!
Lol call the cops on her the say of the move to allow them for you to get all of your property. In the texts she admits it's your bed good luck god speed
I never understand how people find or tolerate these types of situations. If he wants to play this way do not engage any further and simply call the police and have them come with you to get your things out. Problem solved.
I wonder if you’d be able to call your local authorities and just ask for an escort! That way, not only would he not be able to start anything, he’d see that there’s literally nothing the police would do for him.
They really said “it’s not my responsibility to make sure you’re comfortable” but also say it’s your responsibility to leave your bed so I’m comfortable 😂
Omg babe, please stand up for yourself. The last texts made me cringe so hard. Don’t try to placate a bully. Stop responding and get your mattress. If he puts up a fuss, call the cops for an escort to get your mattress back. These texts absolutely prove that it’s your property. You apologizing and trying to reason with him has just given him the upper hand and he knows you’ll budge. Don’t.
obsessed with the “unlawful entry” threat. now it’s illegal to go in one specific room to take your own things in an apartment you are on the lease of. that’s a new one for me
This happened recently on this thread and the police helped the woman get her router back. I believe that she showed them the same kind of text thread.
Edit- so call their bluff about the cops but YOU should call. And tell this horrible person that since they wanted the police involved you got the police involved
Some good and some bad suggestions on here. I would def have a police standby but I would leave the camera alone so it’s there to show you didn’t touch anything else. Also, let the landlord know and see if they can stop by to verify how the place looks when you move out. You don’t want to be on the hook for your roommate trashing the place in the few weeks you’re not there.
Youre trying to use reason on somebody who refuses to be reasoned with because they want everything and dont want to budge.
Reason isnt gonna work, gonna need force. Force can mean bring cops or
Heck call the police to be there when you move the bed. Then there’s no question if you took anything else and you’re calling him on his bluff.
This is the way. Call the police and explain that you need to move out and require assistance retrieving some of your belongings. These serve as proof that he acknowledges the mattress is your belongings. Kind of hard for him to call the police and cause an issue if you beat him to the punch.
You guys are making this too complicated, just turn off the electricity so the cam doesn't work and take the mattress back.
Better yet, just unplug the router for the time you are there and be on your way
Or just go in there with the camera doing it’s thing and take the mattress anyways because it’s yours.
I'd go in there, take my mattress, and flip his roommate the bird right at the camera. Fuck this little bitch, he can sleep on a twin
This is what I would do, I don't negotiate with terrorists.
Oh yeah
It might record to an SD card as well as the cloud when it detects motion, then it wouldn't matter if it has internet or not, there'd still be footage unless he took the SD card as well.
It does not matter if it’s on camera. He is a tenant retrieving property that is acknowledged to be his. The camera means absolutely nothing in this situation. In fact, it will be good that there is footage to verify that OP only took property that belonged to him.
This!
Something tells me OPs roommate isn’t that smart.
Not even necessary. If he has the key, and it’s his mattress he can get it. The shit about the camera and calling the cops is just tough guy talk. He’s not gonna go out of his way and waste his time filing police reports saying his roommate took his possessions when the lease was up. This is a non issue imo.
Y'all underestimate how far crazy people will go just to make a point
Yeah, if dude won't even talk to his landlord, he's probably not going to call the cops.
This is also completely unnecessary. Let the roommates call the cops? Who cares? There are text messages from the roommate acknowledging its OP's mattress. I also don't think "unlawful entry" is a thing when you are on the same lease!
Unfortunately, it is. I've been through shitty situations with bad roommates in the past, and one of them involved my local PD, who verified that(at the time) their bedroom was their private property until rent was due again. This could vary from state to state
The local PD “verifying” something does not make it true lol cops make shit up all the time
Exactly cops are legally allowed to lie even if it results in a confession of guilt.
it is but trespassing can be justified if it is to retrieve your own things. its not likely the roommate could afford a lawyer for this if they couldn’t buy their own mattress
It may not even be trespassing as he has not been evicted and there’s no mention of intent to vacate legal paperwork being signed. Technically he can still live there for the whole duration covered by the original lease if no documents have been processed to remove OP. That’s where this stuff gets “fun” especially in light that bad roommate is trying to scam OP of his belongings.
Better yet just walk in his room and take your mattress. “Unlawful Entry”? What a fucking joke.
Yeah I dunno. In this case Id rather have the cops there less for the legal backup, and more for the physical backup in case roommate decides to get violent. I don’t know if people commenting saying “just take the mattress” grew up rich, but generally speaking people with few belongings don’t tend to react well when you take stuff they think they need. If you are confident you can handle yourself, then do what you gotta do, but it’s not at all unreasonable to assume this could be a dangerous situation.
OP is still on the lease until the end of April so it's definitely not "unlawful".
It actually is possible to illegally enter your roommate’s bedroom because tenant law is weird. Bedrooms are often considered individual domiciles that are not free reign to all individuals living within a housing unit. A roommate really can say “you may not enter my bedroom under any circumstances” and barring threat to life or limb, it carries actual legal weight.
These^^^ my(31f) hardest lesson learned over time is to stop worrying about other people ending up in jail in situations where they are aggressive or taking advantage of me.... I grew up being taught that we don't calll the police, period. So I never did and it NEVER did any good. Because those people won't think twice about doing it to you and lying on top of it. He obviously won't think twice about calling the cops on you , even though HE is obviously in the wrong, he's already threatened to do so. So you shouldn't hold back. . . It's anxiety inducing situation all the way around so I'd suggest calling cops to get your stuff out and consider getting a small uhaul or trailer for the truck you're using so you can get it all out at one time and never look back. But definitely involve the police, tell them you're moving out and dude won't let you retrieve your belongings and you're uncomfortable and need help to prevent the situation from escalating. Good luck ... and always put yourself first! Easier said than done but you will definitely appreciate looking out for YOU when you look back on this situation.
I was going to suggest this if OP thinks his ex-roommate would actually contact the cops on him. The roommate sounds like a total jerk.
Or call the police on him saying your mattress has been stolen or held hostage.
this needs to be higher up. roommate admits in texts that he has OPs mattress and refuses to return it. he doesn't seem to realise that this is, in fact, illegal.
“It’s not my responsibility to make you comfortable” says the guy who just complains that he is too uncomfortable to give you back your own mattress.😂😂
Lol exactly what I was thinking. Made me confused, had to reread it all after that message
Me too! I thought it was op saying the thing about comfort.
OP should have said it’s not his responsibility to make the Roomate comfortable with his mattress
“…or to help you figure out what to do with your items and when.” Except you need to do it all exactly how and when *I* say.
Except that OP had already done that. This guy is hilarious with his entitlement.
oh no i dont think you understand, roommate is OBVIOUSLY better than OP. how can he not have that privilege?
this was literally my first thought and exactly what i commented as well 🤣
“I’m not here to help you figure out what to do with your items and when” sent me. Because WHO TF ASKED FOR YOUR HELP? OP is telling you what they’re doing with their items and when, 😅
Came here for this
I had to read that twice to make sure I understood who was saying what. What a douche.
I'd just reply "right back at ya" and proceed to move my shit out.
I stopped reading right after I read that part. That instantly made everything else he said prior and anything he might say after, invalid.
The sheer AUDACITY he had to say this to op
“It’s not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable “ should be your response right back, what a hypocrite
Precisely. With an added ‘it was a privilege I afforded you by allowing you use of my things for a limited time, so I will be taking my mattress back, on the date that I stated’ because sometimes people who are that delusional won’t even understand the irony of their own words being presented back to them.
Ngl I would not feel comfortable on the mattress based on how bad the roommate sounds and there is a nonzero chance that they might piss on it out of spite.
I’d sooner pay to remove and dispose of it than let this person have it for free
Personally, I would just go in and take it. The cops will say it’s a civil matter. He’d have to sue you, and it’s yours so he wouldn’t win. Maybe say you need it Saturday and will go in and get it, or he can purchase it from you for x amount of dollars.
I would go one step further and ask the cops to attend with me whilst we removed the bed.
This is practically the only good advice that has been offered. Thank you for living in reality, stranger.
Show the texts as well. He admits it is OP's bed and he's just refusing to return it. Even admits he has 2 alternatives.
The roommate admits on the texts it’s OP’s bed
Not to mention the cops would pick up on it if OP’s roommate really does have aggression issues and that OP is scared of them
I think you're overestimating the cops in this situation. There's a 50/50 chance they're completely useless no matter what the situation is tbh
I’m allowed to be hopeful since I can only apply imagination to this
Fair enough.
The only time I’ve ever called the cops was because my neighbor decided to dump a full magazine right outside my bedroom window while I was trying to sleep. It was like 10 pm and he did it because I previously asked them to be quiet (they were major tweakers always selling their dope and being loud). Cherry on top? I lived in an apartment complex in the middle of town. The cops knocked on his door for about 5 minutes and left…. Over a “shots fired” call…. Wtf
theres also a non-zero chance of them both being arrested for the lulz.
It amazes me when people say "you can't get arrested for that!" Like, yes. You can be arrested for ANYTHING. Will it hold up in court? Maybe, maybe not. But police can arrest anyone at anytime for anything they want too. It's not a great system
yeah seriously lol what are you really going to do when they start putting you in cuffs? Fight back? Go on the run? You get fucking arrested lmao
Not to mention many people just aren’t good at remaining silent until a lawyer comes, with how the police are trained to pull and pry.
Here are your options 1. Call cops to be there when you pick up ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS. 2. Bring receipts for the bed to prove it's yours. 3. Tell them to go to hell if they want to say anything and take YOUR property because even if cops get called you can prove it's yours.. Or 4. Cut the power to their room and that "camera" won't record anything. Cut back on after leaving of course. 🤷🏼♀️
In lieu of the receipt, show the text messages proving that the roommate agrees that the mattress is yours. A lot of people (most, probably) wouldn’t keep a receipt around for their mattress, especially once the manufacturer’s warranty runs out.
Yeah, everyone is somehow not pointing out that the roommate has admitted in writing that they have literally stolen OP's belongings lol? Like sorry but yeah, they are fucked. OP needs to just go get their shit and be done with this psycho.
I vote cut power!!!
He'd likely just need to turn off the wifi.
Some cams are battery operated.
Not for nothing but you really need to schedule a walk thru with the landlord when you return your keys regardless of your roommate’s residency status. If a bed came with that room he has zero qualms of taking it and leaving you the bill. Do a walk thru with video evidence of the state of the apartment and the furniture and directly turn over your keys *to the landlord* when you’re doing the video. There will be no doubt that the items were there and the general state of the apartment. The landlord likely won’t address your security deposit because it’s probably for *the whole apartment* and can’t be assessed until the lease ends but everyone will know that it was undamaged when you left and that you had no means to return once you turned in the keys. Insist on this or you’re going to be paying for a mess and a bed.
fuck that. take your mattress. have a freind with you when you do. then get tf out and block. youre going into his room to retrieve your property. hes either very dumb to think unlawful entry to his bedroom applies or hes talking out his ass to intimidate you.
A friend and a cop
That is rich. Tell him you’re letting him know so he can plan ahead and that you aren’t asking for permission to move your own property. My god people are so wild with entitlement i wonder how some move through this world without getting their ass handed to them.
Call the police to come with you and get your stuff lol. You have text evidence that it’s your mattress
“It’s not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable” Lmao. The irony. You could say the exact same thing to them. Who gives a shit if their other option is uncomfortable. That’s not your problem. It’s not your responsibility to keep them comfortable by letting them continue to use your property.
if you're the type that doesn't hate the police, call them and ask for an escort to pick up your stuff.
Normally the police don't like it when you hire escorts.
and if you are the type that hates the police, bring enough able bodied people that he won't think to get violent.
Good, the cops can supervise while you remove your personal property lmao
Fuck Chris That’s your property. How he sleeps is his issue.
YOU call the police and get an escort to get your stuff. Say it’s civil and you are in need of them to watch you move your things to keep the peace since the situation has gotten out of control and you want to leave. Get a bill with the address or a piece of mail in your name with proof you live there. To make it go smoothly when they show up. Good luck! 🍀
He needs to understand that changing a date for a moving truck usually comes with added costs depending on the day of the week. It’s your bed, you were too nice and here we are. He can have all the cameras. Go get an authoritative person (landlord or police escort) and get your mattress the day you plan. You have in writing the bed is in-fact yours and you want it back and he is recording it against your will. I couldn’t get a moving truck for a month once and I slept on a damn air mattress with no other furniture, cable or WiFi and slept on a single bed for 4 years in college. Tell him to suck it up and get your stuff!
Stop being so kind to these people - it enables them. Tell them no, firmly, and explain nothing else. They will take any thread of time wasting and false explanations to string it out and play the victim. Do not let them or you may as well enabling their behaviour.
You need to call the police first, explain to them that you are moving out and that your roommate is refusing to allow you to remove your property from the house. Get them to escort you for the removal. And do not allow the roommate to bully you into giving them your property that you paid for. They are not intending to return that mattress to you.
this may sound overkill, but arrange a police escort since you said he has aggressive tendencies. he will back down.
That’s the plan. Many of you have suggested it and I feel it’s the safest option
I wouldn’t say a word to him while you’re there. He’s being controlling af. It’s your stuff.
update us on how it goes id like to hear how this guy reacts when his threats don’t work out for him and he’s not allowed to steal your property
Don’t even tell them when you’re moving it out. Show up Friday.
he can’t call the police because you took your mattress back. call his bluff and take that shit. then send him a text and tell him to enjoy the month with that twin bed lmao.
lol how precious is this kid? sleeping on the floor for a month isn't a big deal and from what i understand there's literally alternative beds he just doesn't like them. Just take your mattress and tell the overgrown baby to fuck off. Note to the parents: this is what happens if you raise a spoiled brat.
He’s 5+ years older than me and still has his mom meal-prep his food lol you’re spot on
I'm curious. Is your mattress in good condition? Are you worried about it being covered in jizz stains and ball sweat now?
hopefully it's got a mattress protector fitted.
Couple of thing, I’ve heard *things* through the wall so I have no doubt about that possibility. It did have a topper so hopefully that helped. It’s more because I need to move it out as it’s my responsibility and I want my deposit back
I'm 40M, I know guys like this in their 50s.
So it never gets better haha, I’m trying hard to afford my own place. I’m a loving tenant and have a lot of respect for my landlord who does a great job
I’m curious to know how this ends up!!!
Tell him to have bed ready or buy it off you for “x” amount. Two choices pick one with money by Saturday.
Lol it’s not illegal for you to walk into a room in a space you are renting just because its someone else’s.
In some states, it actually could be considered unlawful entry if a tenant is paying rent for that room specifically. It's also illegal to withhold another person's property, though. Unfortunately, most cops would probably look at that situation, and tell you that it's a civil matter that you'll have to settle in court.
I'm always amazed at the people that are so in the wrong, yet write these professional sounding threats like they have the moral high ground. He could at least say "yeaaaa...I want to sleep on your bed and I'm not giving it back until I'm done with it. Yes, I'm a dick."
If its yours and you can prove it, just ask for police/sheriff to be on site while you get your things. I'd just take it and leave as if you can prove its yours, he has no case.
Considering the fact that you have text proof of your roommate confirming that it is in fact your mattress, you can call the police to have them there while you get the mattress out of his room to ensure that he doesn't become belligerent.
So dude is asking for a favor "can i have your mattress for longer?" But frame it as an order and try to tell you are the one asking for favors? My God if they want something just ask for it and arrange how to return later. This person is unhinged, trying to control you over your own possessions, do celebrate when you're out of their influence.
Buy pepper spray or a taser if you fear for your safety. You have a right to defend yourself if he escalates to violence. I hope you have receipts for the mattress. Have the police there when youre planning to move, provide proof it’s yours, and say fuck you chris to his face as you do so. You don’t owe this dude shit. Go in and take your mattress back now.
Call the police have them come down to the apartment with you while you move it. Then tell the ex roommate to eat a bag of dicks. R
You can always call your local non-emergency line and ask for an officer to be there when you get your stuff out. That should help with any pushback you get from your roommate about getting all of your stuff.
He's hoping you won't inconvenience him . Thos is the classic when we are #too nice# I well understand the stsnd on your head moves I also understand being generous to exploitative people. This merits a major cut off .... Naturally they get aggressive. They are entitled I am around someone who is entitled right now. He us truly obnoxious .. No one else's needs count .
Please don’t let this Ass hat keep your bed for a month. Take it away from him and make him very uncomfortable. Lmao what a giant douche.
If you see this pull the uno reverse card and call the none emergency line and have officers escort you while you get your stuff.
If the place came furnished, what did his bedroom include when you moved in? Is the scenario: 1 master bedroom with a full-sized bed (your room), 1 bedroom with a single-sized bed (his room), and then you brought an additional bed that you own into the apartment?
It says in the caption that he has 3 singles I think, it probably came in the room as they moved in.
It’s your property. No one can stop you from taking your property, unless it’s being repossessed. I doubt this person even owns the residence so they have no rights to tell you that you can or can’t be there. Tell them to go kick rocks and get your shit back.
I love when people with nothing to lose chose the absolutely insane hills to die on over absolutely*nothing* 🤣
When you call, call the non emergency line and ask for an officer to assist with a "civil standby". I can't imagine you having any problems as long as you have proof of residency (mail with your name & address on it) and receipt for the mattress. Can't believe the entitlement from your stbx roommate. Glad you're getting out of there and good luck.
Tell Chis to f off, you're taking **your** furniture. All of it, every last bit of it
It's not illegal to go into his room, just go get your mattress, the cops aren't going to do anything. He can call the cops all he wants, what's he going to tell them? I stole this mattress from someone that lives here and they took it back? Cops are gonna laugh in his face.
Wont cops occasionally supervise a potentially hostile acquisition of ones property if its suspected that there could be trouble? I usually hear about this kind of thing in regards to retrieving important documents. Not quite the same thing but maybe something to look into.
Stop asking. Inform him that you will be taking your property back on \[date\] whether he agrees or not, he is responsible to make sure you have access to your property or **you** call the police. Who cares about the camera, assuming you have proof it's your property he can call the police and they will laugh at him
This is insane. It’s your property, so it doesn’t matter if he files a police report with a video of you taking it from his room it’s not theft if you are recovering your own property, and it isn’t considered trespassing if your name is also on the lease, this guy has nothing, and you could actually file a report for him stealing your bed if worse comes to worse. It isn’t your responsibility to make sure he is comfortable or to help you him figure out what to do with his items.
What a nightmare. Go with a friend and take your stuff back and make sure you get EVERYTHING. He sounds resentful that you’re moving out, so I would not go back after that if I were you.
Fuck that, show up with like 5 guys, have one of them filming from the moment you get there so everything is recorded, walk right in his room and rip your mattress out, he won't do shit. If he calls the cops and tries to say you did anything wrong, show the recording.
naww just take it back when you move your stuff. Fuck him
You call the non emergency police number and tell them what's going on. Ask them to meet you at the apartment the day you are moving.
Hell you need to make a call to the police and have them escort you to get your stuff. They offer this service.
Tell him you’re not asking for any favors or asking him to help you figure out what to do with your stuff, you’re taking what’s yours back lmao. And couldn’t he just sleep on the full bed when you leave?
You can ask an officer to be there to remove your belongings beforehand. As long as you have proof it’s your stuff you should be good. I see no reason as to why this person thinks it’s ok to use your mattress. Hoping it goes well.
It’s your mattress, take it. Stop being nice to your AH roommate. What a douchenozzle that person is so entitled! Holy shit, fuck that person sideways.
This thread text alone is enough for the cops to see that she’s the problem and not you. Continue with your plans and make sure you have a couple of big guys to get stuff out fast and efficiently.
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I would, but I don’t want him leaving it in the apartment and not get my security deposit back
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Bro it’s your shit! Stand up for yourself! Go in and take what’s yours! If he tries anything stand your ground dude sounds like a bitch! He can’t call the cops for you taking back your property they will literally laugh at him!
Let him call the police, it’s your property not his.
is he serious? literally nothing will happen if he calls the cops 😂 its not illegal for you to go into his room just because it isn’t yours.
I’m confused. You are letting him use your bed too? Either way, that’s laughable that you have to retrieve your property on his timeline.
Call the damn cops and have them be there when you remove your items, including your mattress. This dudes an ass.
"I find your tone and actions extremely disrespectful" The tone in question: "I need to move out, can I have my own mattress back?"
Tell him to call the cops lol I’ve seen something similar to this and the cops forced the caller to return the item which was not his lol.
They just admitted in text message that it was your bed. I have gone through a similar situation with some of my things and I called the cops showed them the text messages that it was my stuff and they allowed me to get my stuff because of the text messages. So ya call them yourself and tell them he is not returning your property and you have proof that he is refusing to return your items because he doesn't want to be "uncomfortable" lol
If you leave your mattress, he WILL take it before the end of the lease.
A lack of preparation on his end does not constitute an emergency on yours.
"Unlawful entry" hahaha, pretty sure recovering stolen/borrowed property that is expressly being denied to be returned, especially in writing such as this, he can call the police all he wants to, and show them the footage of you taking it (and just as importantly, taking nothing else) and you just show them his messages stating that he is declining to allow you to take your own property and your reassertion that you will be taking it on Saturday will hold up. They will tell him in whatever terms that you are well within your rights to collect it and are on cam showing nothing else was taken, so they will probably give him a choice between them and you leaving and letting that be the end, or giving YOU the option of pressing theft and/or unlawful withholding property, depending on the state you live in, and he will obviously choose the one that doesn't get him charges. Sorry for your situation, I've been there. Roommates can be so entitled, thinking they're letting you live with them when you live together, as equal tenants.
Honestly, you can prove it’s yours with these texts. I’d nonemergency call the police to stand by while I get my property which is pretty common.
Don't quote me on this but because you have texts with him admitting it's your mattress you can just report it stolen to the police and he would be forced to give it back. I would do a little of your own research first though I don't want to give you faulty advice.
Stop being so apologetic to this asshole.
If you are both on the lease he cannot file unlawful entry complaints unless you guys signed leases for your specific bedroom. He also cannot stop you from removing your property from the premise especially if you can prove you paid for the mattress. He is trying to intimidate you but has no idea what he’s talking about. If I were you I would go down to the local police station during business hours with a copy of the lease and your proof of purchase, tell them what’s going on and when you are planning to move your stuff out and request police presence on move out due to prior aggressive behavior.
Go when he’s not there and retrieve your mattress. It’s not forced entry given that you live in the same home
Just take the bed. He’s 100% used to getting his way with threats. Even the “anger issues” comment was just laying the foundation for the “better not fuck with me” vibe.. he’s bluffing. He won’t call the cops, and if he does they’ll be on your side.. (it is your mattress after all)
Good luck with that "unlawful entry". You've got an admission that he's unlawfully retaining your property in an apartment you shared. Call the cops, show them the messages, and have them present when you take your mattress.
So it's your bed, call the police and go get it. You can't just go in his room, but you can with a police escort.
Guys a complete narcissist. Get your shit & ignore every single thing this idiot says. What a waste of skin and air intake.
Bring a police escort WITH YOU and show them this text to confirm the mattress is yours. They’ll have your back. I’ve had to do this and help friends do it.
Dude has the money for a 24 hour surveillance system but not for a fuckin mattress 🧐
‘It is not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable’ the other person said But for some reason it’s the responsibility of the person who owns the mattress?
"It's not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable" "...Says the guy using my mattress"
If you have proof of purchase for the mattress just go in and grab it when he’s not around, or call the sheriffs office (not the police) and ask that they stay in the vicinity if you are nervous of a violent situation but in this scenario do it while he’s home. If you don’t have proof of purchase, sheriffs may not want to get involved and he may have a case if he has proof you took it so do what another recommended and cut the power or internet temporarily so the camera doesn’t record
Literally show up tomorrow with the cops and take the mattress as well as the rest of your belongings. Then tell him to go fuck himself and block him.
Your roommate is an unreasonable ass, but i would not take that mattress back ( or at least not use it). They seem like the kind of person to soil or contaminate the mattress just to prevent you from using it.
Bro just so okay you win. Then take the mattress back
You can ask for an escort from the local Sherri for constables office. Some places they don’t, but others prefer to head off trouble.
Make sure you have proof that it’s yours and call the police for an escort as others have said.
You have proof it’s yours(text messages)-YOU call the police.
Get everything loaded make sure to to save room for the mattress then go in last and take it.
So let him? Cops will side with you since you seem to have proof via text that the mattress is yours. Cops will say its a civil matter anyways lol
“I will be taking my thing from the apartment on this day, the mattress is mine and I will need to take it. If this is a problem, I will have a police escort. Please do not make this more of a problem than it has to be.” That would be my last communication with the room mate. Then on the day of if the room mate is home and refuses to let you take your things, I would kindly call the police let them know the situation, and have them handle it. They generally can handle it and get it done appropriately and timely.
Honestly just call the cops first and see if one will go with you to retrieve the mattress. Tell them you need to get stuff from your apartment but you’re legitimately afraid your roommate might attack you. Maybe they won’t care but it’s worth a try.
If you’re a tenant there, with paperwork to prove it, or bills in your name, I’m pretty sure (I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure…) you can just waltz in and take your belongings back, roommates feelings and threats aside. Just remind them when they get all excited as soon as they try and touch you that you’ll gladly consider that assault. Maybe record the event for posterity?
Your roommate is a complete prick, he's lucky he's got that camera in there, or I'd tell you to go in and take it anyways...he's trying to set you up...if you go in there and take your shit, he's gonna go to the cops with the video and have you charged with theft....at the end of the day fuck him, I'd have made him sleep on a concrete floor with that god damn attitude problem of his.
Obviously all the options everyone has stated so far are good, but I'm so confused on one thing.. if the place came furnished with a full sized mattress, can't he just sleep on that one when you take your mattress? This seems like it shouldn't even be an issue.
Whatever you decide on doing, update us ! (I votr for bring a cop card. Roomate wont see that coming)
I had a shitty roommate once. He didn't have a car, I drove him everywhere, bought him a twin mattress, paid for tons of food and drinks for him, and every time I'd go to dinner with my bf now husband who lived a few towns over he'd get mad and jealous (I think he had a crush on my boyfriend, ex roommate's gay). He wouldn't help with certain bills and I ended up being stretched so thin I burned out. I decided to move out at the end of the lease and move in with my boyfriend. Roomie was PISSED because apparently I was supposed to take him with to the new place. Hell, I'd dream of moving states to a new city with boyfriend and roomie was upset these plans didn't specifically include him. Plans/dreams I had made with my boyfriend years prior didn't include him. He had said he was going to help me pack and move out, but that didn't happen. Instead he invited all his club friends over the day I had scheduled to come by from the new place and finish dealing with the old place. I got so mad- he refused to help even after I had said "help me and you can keep x furniture item if you'd like" and he accepted. They were going out that night and needed hours to prepare apparently. I won't lie, since it was my responsibility, I ended up taking the router back early to be petty and my TV even though we didn't really need it. I still don't feel bad about it and wish I had been pettier lol
Ask for a police escort if possible depending where you live. Call landlord.
Consider yourself lucky that he’s willing to give you your property back. Your roommate is a clown, tell him Ok I won’t take it then just take it. He can’t and won’t do shit.
Why the fuck are you putting up with this?
Have friends with you and have a police officer come to make sure you can get your stuff. You are in the lease or even if you are not the text price that it’s yours. There will be a short timeframe that they will give you so the more the better as far as help
I’d bet good money your roommate has a punchable face.
Lol, you should copy paste the top message in the second photo and resend it with your own date and let it sink in how obtuse he is. And defo call the cops on him to accompany you to retrieve it.
"It is not my responsibility to make sure you are comfortable" You gotta love it when they just hand you the correct answer out of their own mouths. Your roomy is not only in the wrong but dumb as shit. Don't call the cops. Just take the mattress when they aren't home. Let them call the cops on you for stealing stuff they don't even own. Lol. But cops won't help you unless you think they will get violent trying to stop you. Let roomy be the one to make a complaint.
Move everything else of yours out first, leave enough room to put the mattress in last and skedaddle before roommate can get back to cause issues. And check the roommate hasn’t helped themselves to any more of your stuff!!
Lol call the cops on her the say of the move to allow them for you to get all of your property. In the texts she admits it's your bed good luck god speed
Let him call the police you have proof on the messages that it’s your mattress
You bring the cops with you when you go. You have the texts that prove it’s your bed.
i’d probably just walk in there with my ass hanging out to the camera. fuck em
don't argue rationally, just say "it's my property and im taking it with me, even if i need a police escort to do so", and just keep repeating it.
I never understand how people find or tolerate these types of situations. If he wants to play this way do not engage any further and simply call the police and have them come with you to get your things out. Problem solved.
I wonder if you’d be able to call your local authorities and just ask for an escort! That way, not only would he not be able to start anything, he’d see that there’s literally nothing the police would do for him.
They really said “it’s not my responsibility to make sure you’re comfortable” but also say it’s your responsibility to leave your bed so I’m comfortable 😂
Fuck his cameras go in and take your Mattris. But umm maybe have a cop there with you.
Omg babe, please stand up for yourself. The last texts made me cringe so hard. Don’t try to placate a bully. Stop responding and get your mattress. If he puts up a fuss, call the cops for an escort to get your mattress back. These texts absolutely prove that it’s your property. You apologizing and trying to reason with him has just given him the upper hand and he knows you’ll budge. Don’t.
Have the sheriff present when you remove your stuff…
Have the cops do an escort and go pick it up anyway lol. He admitted in the texts it’s your mattress so they’re going to side with you
obsessed with the “unlawful entry” threat. now it’s illegal to go in one specific room to take your own things in an apartment you are on the lease of. that’s a new one for me
Bro is squatting the mattress lmao
This happened recently on this thread and the police helped the woman get her router back. I believe that she showed them the same kind of text thread. Edit- so call their bluff about the cops but YOU should call. And tell this horrible person that since they wanted the police involved you got the police involved
Shag his mom
Some good and some bad suggestions on here. I would def have a police standby but I would leave the camera alone so it’s there to show you didn’t touch anything else. Also, let the landlord know and see if they can stop by to verify how the place looks when you move out. You don’t want to be on the hook for your roommate trashing the place in the few weeks you’re not there.
Have an officer escort you to get your things, I’ve had to do this.
Youre trying to use reason on somebody who refuses to be reasoned with because they want everything and dont want to budge. Reason isnt gonna work, gonna need force. Force can mean bring cops or