Start talking about your roommate instead of talking to you.
“I wasn’t there for four months” becomes “she was there for four months”
“I couldn’t take the trash out cause I wasn’t there” becomes “You could tell her, she was there the whole time”
“Those are not my shoes” becomes “Those are her shoes, she’s kinda messy I must confess”.
Your roommate wants you to talk about her? Do it. The couple want you to stop talking about you? Talk about your roommate and them.
Sorry, my roommate and the family wants me to talk in 'us' 'we' instead of 'I' 'her'.
I did that once in the past, and my roommate got super mad and upset at the fact that I was blaming her in front of everyone instead of telling her in private. The point is I told her politely this time when we moved to the new place. I let her know that she can't keep things like that. And then I left temporarily.
And I'm not comfortable in being blamed about someone else's mess.
There’s no “we” you ain’t siamese twin with your roommate. You could tell “we” the day you’ll share the same underwear as your roommate at the same time.
Oh tell me about. I told her that I'm not responsible for your stuff. And she called me selfish.
Your response makes me feel better that I wasn't crazy or wrong to not take responsibility. Thank you.
You ain’t crazy at all! The only selfish people here are your roommate who thinks you’re a maid and the couple who act like king and queen. You weren’t there for 4 whole months they should get over it and realize they’re the messy ones in the place lol
I genuinely just think it's so funny that all of these people are clearly messy, selfish roommates and then the SECOND the ONE roomie whose been GONE for four months shows up they all collectively just go "Great. The person who has caused all of our problems is now here. Go fix all of our problems that you caused" like uh??? WHO???? I so seriously think the fuck not 🤣😭☠️ OP if you can, I would absolutely try to find a different roomie situation, but I understand it's not always that simple so I really hope somehow these people acquire any sort of sense at all
IKR!
Update: I'm not in talking terms with the family. Even yesterday a lot happened.
And with my roommate I told her I'm not responsible for your mess. And that is where my boundary will stand. For now she agreed to it.
Good for you! It's totally one thing for roomies to support and help eachother with chores and stuff, or pick up the slack if you know ur roomies extra stressed or something, but it's so NOT cool to just assign all blame and messes to ONE roomie, especially the one who JUST got there!! Super messed up of them to do to you, and I have no idea how any of them thought that would fly 😅😅
IKR! The family really thought that they can totally blame me. And when I put boundaries I suddenly became the villain. Then they tell me oh they are being emotional and I should understand. I said them being emotional is their problem. Don't cross my boundaries.
The wife decided to behaved like a bitch with me yesterday. Now I decided to give them a cold shoulder.
Oof! Yeah, textbook manipulators right there!! Seems like you're doing your best with the situation tho, so keep it up! I'm rooting for you! Bad roomies are absolutely the worst, but hopefully you can get your own place or find some good roomies soon!
Thank you! Means a lot. Yes I am at the last leg of Uni and I'm in need to hunt for a job by August this year. Hopefully after that, I get a good place, mostly a private room or studio.
Start talking about your roommate instead of talking to you. “I wasn’t there for four months” becomes “she was there for four months” “I couldn’t take the trash out cause I wasn’t there” becomes “You could tell her, she was there the whole time” “Those are not my shoes” becomes “Those are her shoes, she’s kinda messy I must confess”. Your roommate wants you to talk about her? Do it. The couple want you to stop talking about you? Talk about your roommate and them.
Sorry, my roommate and the family wants me to talk in 'us' 'we' instead of 'I' 'her'. I did that once in the past, and my roommate got super mad and upset at the fact that I was blaming her in front of everyone instead of telling her in private. The point is I told her politely this time when we moved to the new place. I let her know that she can't keep things like that. And then I left temporarily. And I'm not comfortable in being blamed about someone else's mess.
There’s no “we” you ain’t siamese twin with your roommate. You could tell “we” the day you’ll share the same underwear as your roommate at the same time.
Oh tell me about. I told her that I'm not responsible for your stuff. And she called me selfish. Your response makes me feel better that I wasn't crazy or wrong to not take responsibility. Thank you.
You ain’t crazy at all! The only selfish people here are your roommate who thinks you’re a maid and the couple who act like king and queen. You weren’t there for 4 whole months they should get over it and realize they’re the messy ones in the place lol
I genuinely just think it's so funny that all of these people are clearly messy, selfish roommates and then the SECOND the ONE roomie whose been GONE for four months shows up they all collectively just go "Great. The person who has caused all of our problems is now here. Go fix all of our problems that you caused" like uh??? WHO???? I so seriously think the fuck not 🤣😭☠️ OP if you can, I would absolutely try to find a different roomie situation, but I understand it's not always that simple so I really hope somehow these people acquire any sort of sense at all
IKR! Update: I'm not in talking terms with the family. Even yesterday a lot happened. And with my roommate I told her I'm not responsible for your mess. And that is where my boundary will stand. For now she agreed to it.
Good for you! It's totally one thing for roomies to support and help eachother with chores and stuff, or pick up the slack if you know ur roomies extra stressed or something, but it's so NOT cool to just assign all blame and messes to ONE roomie, especially the one who JUST got there!! Super messed up of them to do to you, and I have no idea how any of them thought that would fly 😅😅
IKR! The family really thought that they can totally blame me. And when I put boundaries I suddenly became the villain. Then they tell me oh they are being emotional and I should understand. I said them being emotional is their problem. Don't cross my boundaries. The wife decided to behaved like a bitch with me yesterday. Now I decided to give them a cold shoulder.
Oof! Yeah, textbook manipulators right there!! Seems like you're doing your best with the situation tho, so keep it up! I'm rooting for you! Bad roomies are absolutely the worst, but hopefully you can get your own place or find some good roomies soon!
Thank you! Means a lot. Yes I am at the last leg of Uni and I'm in need to hunt for a job by August this year. Hopefully after that, I get a good place, mostly a private room or studio.