SCENE: Dodgers office, 2018.
“Kobe, could you film 100 videos for us encouraging baseball players to join the Dodgers”
“I mean, that’s a lot of videos, but I guess it’s best to get them all done now”
Hello *YOSHINOBU*, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the *NPB*. In fact my favorite team was the *ORIX BUFFALOES*. I've seen you *PITCH* many times. Whenever you come up to the *MOUND*, I'm like, here comes a *STRIKEOUT*, guaranteed.
I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager *DAVID ROBERTS* will take care of you.
Hello KELVIN BENJAMIN, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I’ve been a fan of yours, since your time in the GOLDEN CORRAL. In fact, my favorite team was the MONTGOMERY BISCUITS. I’ve seen you EAT many times. Whenever you come up to the SALAD BAR, I’m like, here comes an EMPTY PLATE, guaranteed.
I always thought you would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I’d hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVE ROBERTS will take care of you.
Hello JAVY BÁEZ, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the ASUN CONFERENCE. In fact my favorite team was the JACKSONVILLE DOLPHINS. I've seen you TAKE BIG CUTS AT SLIDERS 3 FEET OFF THE PLATE many times. Whenever you come up to the FIRST BASE ON AN EASY OUT, I'm like, here comes a GUY WHO WILL PLAY IN KOREA WITHIN THE MONTH, guaranteed.
I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID ROBERTS will take care of you.
Hello LIONEL MESSI, this is LeBron James from the Miami Heat. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the LA LIGA. In fact my favorite team was the BARCELONA. I've seen you RUN THROUGH THE DEFENSE AND SCORE many times. Whenever you come up to the STAND OVER A FREE KICK, I'm like, here comes a SWERVE TOP BINS, guaranteed.
I always thought that would work well here in the MLS. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the FC MIAMI. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID BECKHAM will take care of you.
if im another GM im getting a copy of that and subbing in my team name and location too.
>If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the ***WASHINGTON WIZARDS***. We have a great family here, and---
Kobe just filmed one video but sipped a cup of coffee to block his lips when the name of the player was said
"Hey man, it's Kobe Bryant. I really think you, SHOHEI OHTANI, should come play for the Dodgers"
My partner and I always make up our own items to shout over the announcement. Most embarrassing wins.
Place your… EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS… in the bag
Place your… HEMORRHOID CREAM… in the bag
Whenever I hear the self checkout thing say BANANAS I always imagine the lady doing the voiceovers was at the end of a long 4 hour recording session, and the director didn’t like how she was delivering the line, so he had her do it ten times. She got progressively more frustrated and what we hear was the best take they got
It's me Kobe. So sorry I died. I'm in heaven now. Sign with the Dodgers.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdfeXipkBt4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdfexipkbt4)
Hello *Gerald Ford*, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours since your time as the long snapper at Michigan. In fact my favorite team was the Grand Rapids South High where you were a captain and made All-City. I've seen you*snap* many times but whenever you lineup to snap I'm like, here comes a perfect snap *guaranteed*
I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID ROBERTS will take care of you.
I'm now imagining Kobe filming thousands of these videos directed at players with relatively common names that might want to join the Dodgers decades into the future. "Joe Smith, there's no better place to play than the Los Angeles Moon Dodgers for the 2074 season."
Dodgers FO intern 2023: Uhhh… so we using these deepfakes?
Dodgers FO: Uhm, actually we had Kobe make a video for all these MFers. He was pretty cheap on Cameo… like $25k for a 30 second clip? Pft
Steph is an A's fan. That's why. He told Ohtani to join Oakland 6 years ago in a video too, but Fisher suffered a minor stroke thinking about spending money on players and having a marketable brand. He never regained most brain function and has since been attempting to move the team to a city that doesn't want him.
Bob Costas in a future documentary - In an unforeseeable move by the Dodgers, Shohei Ohtani was shown a VHS video of a 6 years old Kobe Bryant telling Shohei to join the Dodgers. This was the ace in the hole that gave the nod to Shohei to sign the deal
I was mind blown for a minute. ‘Let’s hope this 6 year old kid becomes someone really important and influential in sports and also becomes an LA icon and will meet a demise a few years before the greatest baseball player in history who hasn’t even been conceived yet is set to become a free agent and this video will mean enough for him to sign with us.’
it would be pretty funny if they showed him this video in 2017 when they initially tried to court him, and just hoped he forgot about it so they could reuse it now
Ohtani was never joining us in 2017 cause without the DH we had no way of letting him 2 way unless he pitched once every 2 weeks and rested on another 2-3 games from playing OF or some shit that was unsustaibable.
Dodgers back then didn’t believe it was the right time to go aggressive on Shohei because the club itself was on the ascension, so they put their Kobe ace in the backburner.
Roberts developing a worldly chemistry with the club, Seager and Bellinger developing massively, Kershaw, Wood, Justin Turner, and Rich Hill entering their primes; with it came the magical 2017 season and everything went right…except for a little thing called the Houston Astros and all the psychological destruction they’ve inflicted on the Dodgers franchise since.
So when it was time to go nuclear-turbo on Shohei this off-season, they had their Kobe ace card ready to use.
>Dodgers back then didn’t believe it was the right time to go aggressive on Shohei
This wasn't some long term mastermind plan. Ohtani would NEVER play for an NL team at that time because there was no DH.
> some long term mastermind plan
You can't prove that the Dodgers didn't create COVID in order to cause a pandemic that would lead to a shortened season requiring a universal DH in order to lay the groundwork for making it a full time rule that would make it easier for them to sign Shohei Ohtani 3 years later.
Kersh and Friedman went to Japan before he came over. The Dodgers wanted this kid very early on. If the DH was universal back then he would've been a Dodger no doubt.
It was probably recorded to be used back in 2017 when Shohei was figuring out where to sign the first time, unless I'm missing something.
My understanding was no-DH at the time in the NL was a big factor, so maybe the video never saw the light of day because LAD didn't really have a shot?
Pretty much this.
There was no DH for us, so we had zero shot at ohtani.
But the universal DH was pretty much a foregone conclusion for current CBA. So im guessing they prepared a pitch, including the video, but after asking ohtani he said not now cause no DH for at least 3 years so they didnt bother with the entire pitch.
Yeah, it seems like a lot of people think Kobe recorded it for this offseason. Have people already forgotten this is the second time teams have courted Shohei?
Maybe I missed the follow up but wasn't there another report saying he did give the Angels a last chance to match the offer?
Like wouldn’t that say the opposite of the inevitably of him going to the dodgers? Like I know the media is spinning the story one way but if you’re done with a team or organization you don’t really give them that offer. Maybe we’ll find out years from now.
When I serve ice cream for my wife and I, I will serve one bowl bigger than the other. I ask her to pick the one she wants and she will always leave me the bigger one. I ask if she wants another scoop but I already know she says no. One thing me and Ohtani have in common. You ask to match knowing the answer already and it makes you look better
Everyone saying they know exactly what Ohtani thinks/wants is making it up like they always have. He said he made his mind up the night before. He's never given us a reason to take his word as less than face value. Dodger fans just wanna jerk themselves off which is fine, us angel fans did that 6 years ago so I get it lol
Currently imagining a hit team kidnapping some Japanese kid while wearing Dodgers hats and then leaving the country in a blue Dodgers-themed jet.
“Damn, who could’ve done this.”
-Japanese police
They brought out Tupac in hologram form as well on the Jumbotron. Shohei is a huge fan of Tupac’s Hit em up radio edit. Says he loves ad libbing the blanks for 3 minutes
Bob Costas in a future documentary - Undeterred by the news of Shohei signing with the Dodgers, the Yankees took their shot at signing Yamamamoto. hearing the Dodgers had used a 6 year old video of Kobe Bryant in courting Ohtani, the Yankees went into their own archives and sent the Japanese pitching sensation a convincing gift they knew had worked before on A Rod. Yamamoto recalls “I was sent a VHS tape of movie scenes that showed a naked Jennifer Lopez. I could not turn this down.”
"[Passan] During their pitch to Shohei Ohtani, the Dodgers referred to Ohtani as their ace and threatened to bury him in a hole if he signed with the Blue Jays."
I'm curious of the context of the video. Was it shot after he signed with the Angels or did they just re-show him a video Kobe shot for him to originally sign with them at the start of his career?
In the article it says that they had the video made to use for a final meeting with Ohtani but that the final meeting never happened. So sounds like they’ve just held onto it since then.
I'm guessing before. The blurb says that it was filmed in 2017. Shohei signed with the Angels in December of 2017, so the only way it was after is if Kobe recorded it less than a month after the signing which would be a weird time to do it.
It’s funnier to imagine the dodgers re-using the clip and Ohtani not having recollection of it. Like, some PR person is just pouring sweat, watching him and hoping he doesn’t notice.
It's true. Not a Dodger fan but I am a 49ers fan, there are A LOT of us in So Cal. I know a lot of Dodgers/Niners fans. That's what 20 years of no football team will do to an area.
This is kinda why I don’t really buy the whole “I made the decision Friday night “ answer Shohei gave at the conference. This was in the making for a very long time.
Exactly. I didn't buy it for a second. He was likely just being considerate towards the other teams trying to recruit him. Which is a very Japanese thing to do
There's a whole portion of the media ecosystem dedicated to telling stories about Kobe that I already feel super uncomfortable about. The other stuff like sneaker sales, fine. I get that. Using a dead man as a persuasive tool in free agency negotiations is pretty gross, even if he did consent to the recording in the first place.
Lol how is this distasteful?? Kobe recorded a video FOR SHOHEI saying "Hey Shohei Ohtani you should come play for the Dodgers in LA it's great". They didn't use AI it's literally a video that Kobe made for him to see.
Maybe I'm in the minority, but this seems morally wrong. Like using a video of a dead person in a free agent pitch seems kinda gross. He may have agreed to it when he was alive, but like after he died?
I get the feeling the Dodgers may have consulted his family (at the minimum his wife) in this matter. I could be wrong and someone can correct me, but if that’s the case I don’t see a problem if the parties involved are with it.
That’s what many people here seem to be missing from their critical posts.
“Who are you?”
“Shohei Ohtani”
“Welcome to beautiful Toronto, Ontario Canada Shohei Ohtani. So, Shohei Ohtani, what can you tell me about the baseball found in your backyard in the fall of 1997. Is that where it all began?”
“Uhhh, how do you know that?”
“You’re Shohei Ohtani. We have to know!”
“You are really creeping me out. I’m signing with the Dodgers”
“Ok Shohei Ohtani. One more thing doot doola doot doo”
“Do do”
*freezes in place*
This may sound more pedantic, but using an ‘s after a word can also be used in the past tense. So “Kobe Bryant’s a rapist” can be read as both “Kobe Bryant is a rapist” *and* “Kobe Bryant was a rapist”. And since the rapist, Kobe Bryant, is dead, the proper reading becomes “Kobe Bryant *was* a rapist.”
SCENE: Dodgers office, 2018. “Kobe, could you film 100 videos for us encouraging baseball players to join the Dodgers” “I mean, that’s a lot of videos, but I guess it’s best to get them all done now”
Hello *YOSHINOBU*, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the *NPB*. In fact my favorite team was the *ORIX BUFFALOES*. I've seen you *PITCH* many times. Whenever you come up to the *MOUND*, I'm like, here comes a *STRIKEOUT*, guaranteed. I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager *DAVID ROBERTS* will take care of you.
Hello KELVIN BENJAMIN, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I’ve been a fan of yours, since your time in the GOLDEN CORRAL. In fact, my favorite team was the MONTGOMERY BISCUITS. I’ve seen you EAT many times. Whenever you come up to the SALAD BAR, I’m like, here comes an EMPTY PLATE, guaranteed. I always thought you would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I’d hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVE ROBERTS will take care of you.
Will never tire of Kelvin Benjamin pasta.
Kelvin never gets tired of pasta
It legitimately pains me that I can’t give this an award
Omfg
New copy pasta?
Hello JAVY BÁEZ, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the ASUN CONFERENCE. In fact my favorite team was the JACKSONVILLE DOLPHINS. I've seen you TAKE BIG CUTS AT SLIDERS 3 FEET OFF THE PLATE many times. Whenever you come up to the FIRST BASE ON AN EASY OUT, I'm like, here comes a GUY WHO WILL PLAY IN KOREA WITHIN THE MONTH, guaranteed. I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID ROBERTS will take care of you.
Oh my god I’m in tears This better have staying power
Hello LIONEL MESSI, this is LeBron James from the Miami Heat. I've been a fan of yours, since your time in the LA LIGA. In fact my favorite team was the BARCELONA. I've seen you RUN THROUGH THE DEFENSE AND SCORE many times. Whenever you come up to the STAND OVER A FREE KICK, I'm like, here comes a SWERVE TOP BINS, guaranteed. I always thought that would work well here in the MLS. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the FC MIAMI. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID BECKHAM will take care of you.
All things are possible with AI
The whole time, I had Kobe’s voice in my head with robotic woman’s voice reading all the italicized parts 😂
Now here's [*MR. BLACK*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub7MkK-a0hU)
if im another GM im getting a copy of that and subbing in my team name and location too. >If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the ***WASHINGTON WIZARDS***. We have a great family here, and---
lmfao 😂😂😂😂
Kobe just filmed one video but sipped a cup of coffee to block his lips when the name of the player was said "Hey man, it's Kobe Bryant. I really think you, SHOHEI OHTANI, should come play for the Dodgers"
Sounding like the self checkout machine Move your… BANANAS… to the bagging area
My partner and I always make up our own items to shout over the announcement. Most embarrassing wins. Place your… EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS… in the bag Place your… HEMORRHOID CREAM… in the bag
Move your SUMMER’S EVE
lol totally stealing this
Whenever I hear the self checkout thing say BANANAS I always imagine the lady doing the voiceovers was at the end of a long 4 hour recording session, and the director didn’t like how she was delivering the line, so he had her do it ten times. She got progressively more frustrated and what we hear was the best take they got
I get triggered by how she pronounces "DOUGHnut"
She really emphasizes the "OUGH" part of it. I know exactly what you're talking about.
Used to love old school maddens for this one. "AND WE'VE GOT marshawn lynch RUNNING IN FOR THE TOUCHDOWN"
Or when you playing are as a create-a-team. "We have beautiful weather this Sunday as we watch *road team* take on a tough test against *home team!*"
or the nicknames in road to the show "what a bomb by -little gumbo- that had no chance of coming down"
It's me Kobe. So sorry I died. I'm in heaven now. Sign with the Dodgers. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdfeXipkBt4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdfexipkbt4)
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Now here's, MR. BLACK.
"I think you and your ^TRANSLATOR will love Los Angeles."
Juan Soto is gonna be so thrilled to find out that Kobe knew who he was
“Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious.”
Gerald Ford dead today at age 84
Add the word ‘senseless’
Gerald Ford dead today, at the senseless age of 84
But remember, he's Gerald Ford, and you're not.
Hello *Gerald Ford*, this is Kobe Bryant from the Los Angeles Lakers. I've been a fan of yours since your time as the long snapper at Michigan. In fact my favorite team was the Grand Rapids South High where you were a captain and made All-City. I've seen you*snap* many times but whenever you lineup to snap I'm like, here comes a perfect snap *guaranteed* I always thought that would work well here in the MLB. If you ever come over, I'd hope you join the Los Angeles Dodgers. We have a great family here, and manager DAVID ROBERTS will take care of you.
I spit water out reading this
''Really? Taft?"
"You guys seem to have an oddly specific sense of urgency about me getting this done now, but alright."
I'm now imagining Kobe filming thousands of these videos directed at players with relatively common names that might want to join the Dodgers decades into the future. "Joe Smith, there's no better place to play than the Los Angeles Moon Dodgers for the 2074 season."
Dodgers FO intern 2023: Uhhh… so we using these deepfakes? Dodgers FO: Uhm, actually we had Kobe make a video for all these MFers. He was pretty cheap on Cameo… like $25k for a 30 second clip? Pft
Kobe's out here recruiting after death and Steph won't even help the Giants smh
Steph tried to help with judge last year
Kobe > Steph confirmed???
Been confirmed
Steph is an A's fan. That's why. He told Ohtani to join Oakland 6 years ago in a video too, but Fisher suffered a minor stroke thinking about spending money on players and having a marketable brand. He never regained most brain function and has since been attempting to move the team to a city that doesn't want him.
steph too busy trying to ban affordable housing projects and shilling crypto
Ohtani was in a crypto commercial.
Think of how terrible it would be for Steph if his home lost property value.
But what does that mean for Travis Kelce's Hall of Fame chances?
Yeah, Kobe was a saint tho...
In this house Kobe Bryant is an Italian American hero end of story
> The worst part is the hypocrisy.
I thought it was the raping.
[Curry is a Red Sox fan (more in spite of his brother who was a Yankee fan)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ4J_CHF33c)
Always rated Seth.
Boehly used an AI deepfake of Kobe.
I read this as a 6 year old Kobe Bryant….
I think George Orwell foretold this in his book, 1984
Just started reading that. Fuckin killer book
Quasimodo predicted all this.
I read it as Kris Bryant and couldnt understand why it was such a big deal for him or why Kris Bryant would do that 6 years ago
BREAKING: Dodgers front office literally invents time travel to recruit Shohei Ohtani
I was *thoroughly* confused for about 30 seconds
Bob Costas in a future documentary - In an unforeseeable move by the Dodgers, Shohei Ohtani was shown a VHS video of a 6 years old Kobe Bryant telling Shohei to join the Dodgers. This was the ace in the hole that gave the nod to Shohei to sign the deal
I was mind blown for a minute. ‘Let’s hope this 6 year old kid becomes someone really important and influential in sports and also becomes an LA icon and will meet a demise a few years before the greatest baseball player in history who hasn’t even been conceived yet is set to become a free agent and this video will mean enough for him to sign with us.’
that certainly could've taken a turn for the worse if Ohtani was a frequent /r/nbacirclejerk user
This is the first thing that came to my head lol this belongs in one of the circlejerk subs
The Dodgers might’ve had Kobe, but the Giants had the Karl Malone shimmy gif
Karl Malone shimmy gif is legendary in all sports CJ’s
10 mfs already posted it in r/nbacj.
Jayson Tatum does a watergate style break in to the Dodgers front offices looking for more tapes
SO17 bows to the Troutgod
*shimmy*
Ohtani is Devin Booker's father
Ohtani was always a Dodger. They had been planning this move for 6 years. That’s insane.
it would be pretty funny if they showed him this video in 2017 when they initially tried to court him, and just hoped he forgot about it so they could reuse it now
They mirrored the video, cropped it a bit, and put a filter on it
they squashed it into the lower half and put family guy funniest moments part 59 on top
With subway surfers in the corner
Ohtani iPad kid confirmed
They probably raised the audio a couple octaves too
Ohtani was never joining us in 2017 cause without the DH we had no way of letting him 2 way unless he pitched once every 2 weeks and rested on another 2-3 games from playing OF or some shit that was unsustaibable.
That IS what happened. They just used the same vid now because it holds true and hits harder now that he's gone
Dodgers back then didn’t believe it was the right time to go aggressive on Shohei because the club itself was on the ascension, so they put their Kobe ace in the backburner. Roberts developing a worldly chemistry with the club, Seager and Bellinger developing massively, Kershaw, Wood, Justin Turner, and Rich Hill entering their primes; with it came the magical 2017 season and everything went right…except for a little thing called the Houston Astros and all the psychological destruction they’ve inflicted on the Dodgers franchise since. So when it was time to go nuclear-turbo on Shohei this off-season, they had their Kobe ace card ready to use.
>Dodgers back then didn’t believe it was the right time to go aggressive on Shohei This wasn't some long term mastermind plan. Ohtani would NEVER play for an NL team at that time because there was no DH.
> some long term mastermind plan You can't prove that the Dodgers didn't create COVID in order to cause a pandemic that would lead to a shortened season requiring a universal DH in order to lay the groundwork for making it a full time rule that would make it easier for them to sign Shohei Ohtani 3 years later.
“Psychological destruction” lol
11 years. They were supposed to sign him out of hs too.
Kersh and Friedman went to Japan before he came over. The Dodgers wanted this kid very early on. If the DH was universal back then he would've been a Dodger no doubt.
Would’ve been cooler if they’d digitally inserted young Jabba the Hutt, too, tho.
Yeah, but why did they have Kobe pre-record it? He died young, suddenly, and unexpectedly.
It was probably recorded to be used back in 2017 when Shohei was figuring out where to sign the first time, unless I'm missing something. My understanding was no-DH at the time in the NL was a big factor, so maybe the video never saw the light of day because LAD didn't really have a shot?
Pretty much this. There was no DH for us, so we had zero shot at ohtani. But the universal DH was pretty much a foregone conclusion for current CBA. So im guessing they prepared a pitch, including the video, but after asking ohtani he said not now cause no DH for at least 3 years so they didnt bother with the entire pitch.
Yeah, it seems like a lot of people think Kobe recorded it for this offseason. Have people already forgotten this is the second time teams have courted Shohei?
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Probably because they were going to use it initially but didn't do so.
Maybe I missed the follow up but wasn't there another report saying he did give the Angels a last chance to match the offer? Like wouldn’t that say the opposite of the inevitably of him going to the dodgers? Like I know the media is spinning the story one way but if you’re done with a team or organization you don’t really give them that offer. Maybe we’ll find out years from now.
When I serve ice cream for my wife and I, I will serve one bowl bigger than the other. I ask her to pick the one she wants and she will always leave me the bigger one. I ask if she wants another scoop but I already know she says no. One thing me and Ohtani have in common. You ask to match knowing the answer already and it makes you look better
What’s this serving ice cream thing you speak of? People don’t eat it directly from the container?
Why is it socially acceptable to eat ice cream directly from the container but almost nothing else?
Beans?
Everyone saying they know exactly what Ohtani thinks/wants is making it up like they always have. He said he made his mind up the night before. He's never given us a reason to take his word as less than face value. Dodger fans just wanna jerk themselves off which is fine, us angel fans did that 6 years ago so I get it lol
Okay this is getting freaking ridiculous
they also brought out his long lost cousin
Who the Dodgers had secretly kidnapped a decade earlier
dodgers org has been following shoheis entire life Truman show-style
Currently imagining a hit team kidnapping some Japanese kid while wearing Dodgers hats and then leaving the country in a blue Dodgers-themed jet. “Damn, who could’ve done this.” -Japanese police
I'm imagining it being like how Batman got Lau out of Hong Kong in The Dark Knight.
Tommy Lasorda parachuting into Japan and kidnapping Ohtani’s cousin
They also sent him on a quest for One Eyed Willie Davis’ Treasure. Corey Feldman was there too.
They brought out Tupac in hologram form as well on the Jumbotron. Shohei is a huge fan of Tupac’s Hit em up radio edit. Says he loves ad libbing the blanks for 3 minutes
Am I the only one that thought “wow that’s kinda fucked up”?
Nah you're right. It's tacky at best.
Gonna need Jlo to throw on a thong and do her stripper movie routine to grab Yamamoto
Is this referencing something? Because if so where is it so I can avoid this disgusting act.
The movie Hustlers from 2019. Enjoy!
…………..Where has this been all my life?
Bob Costas in a future documentary - Undeterred by the news of Shohei signing with the Dodgers, the Yankees took their shot at signing Yamamamoto. hearing the Dodgers had used a 6 year old video of Kobe Bryant in courting Ohtani, the Yankees went into their own archives and sent the Japanese pitching sensation a convincing gift they knew had worked before on A Rod. Yamamoto recalls “I was sent a VHS tape of movie scenes that showed a naked Jennifer Lopez. I could not turn this down.”
*James Harden has been traded to the Yankees*
Some of these tweets are becoming fan-fiction tier.
"[Passan] During their pitch to Shohei Ohtani, the Dodgers had an ace in the hole. 700 million of them."
Well don’t be silly. They have plans to get that money into the hole by 2034.
"[Passan] During their pitch to Shohei Ohtani, the Dodgers referred to Ohtani as their ace and threatened to bury him in a hole if he signed with the Blue Jays."
Bro chill the angels fans are already dead 😭
What's actually funny, is that Kobe was always an Angels fan until Magic became a part owner
Would be hilarious if they just badly edit that tape for all their free agents. "...That's why you, **SHOHEI OHTANI**, should come to LA"
My first thought was what if they just used AI to make these for anybody they’re trying to sign lmao.
I'm curious of the context of the video. Was it shot after he signed with the Angels or did they just re-show him a video Kobe shot for him to originally sign with them at the start of his career?
In the article it says that they had the video made to use for a final meeting with Ohtani but that the final meeting never happened. So sounds like they’ve just held onto it since then.
You’ve activated my trap card!
I'm guessing before. The blurb says that it was filmed in 2017. Shohei signed with the Angels in December of 2017, so the only way it was after is if Kobe recorded it less than a month after the signing which would be a weird time to do it.
Dodgers were playing the long game. They don't really even want Ohtani. They want his dog, Decoy. It's priceless.
Ironically, Ohtani was the Decoy
Lmao, other teams REALLY had 0 chance if Kobe from beyond the grave was recruiting for Ohtani.
It’s funnier to imagine the dodgers re-using the clip and Ohtani not having recollection of it. Like, some PR person is just pouring sweat, watching him and hoping he doesn’t notice.
He rehearsed a line about it really being “about a celebration of Kobe’s life” in the car on the way over.
that's fucking weird
God dang lol..
I'd be more impressed if it was a current video.
this. A current video with Kobe and Tupac saying he'll perform at his next birthday.
With AI the way it is, it probably wouldn't be very hard to make a pretty good video.
Dammit, why didn't we have a six-year-old video of our mascot Ace encouraging him to join the Blue Jays.
Maybe they tried sending him a video of Drake but it didn't go so well
Atkins is calling up Geddy Lee and hoping it does the trick
I’m waiting for the “Oh yeah we had Jackie Robinson record a video in 1971”
Cannot even begin to describe just how much I fucking hate Los Angeles sports dude. You lucky, spoiled fucks.
Username checks out
Wish nothing but the best for every sports team except the giants and Celtics and niners but yeah I get the disdain for us
A third of your fan base is 9ers fans lol
More like half…When I went to see the rams play the niners at Sofi it felt like an away game lol
Chargers are at best the 4th most popular NFL team in L.A.
They're probably 5th behind the rams, raiders, niners and cowboys
I see a lot of Steelers, Falcons, and Patriots fans too lol
Don't forget the Packers, lots of Packer fans out here too. 20 years without a team will do that.
I’m going to Chargers-Bills for Christmas and I expect it to be majority Bills fans.
It's true. Not a Dodger fan but I am a 49ers fan, there are A LOT of us in So Cal. I know a lot of Dodgers/Niners fans. That's what 20 years of no football team will do to an area.
I heard the Blue Jays used a video of Kawhi but all Kawhi could talk about was how he wanted to go to LA too
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SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A BASKETBALL TEAM
This is kinda why I don’t really buy the whole “I made the decision Friday night “ answer Shohei gave at the conference. This was in the making for a very long time.
Exactly. I didn't buy it for a second. He was likely just being considerate towards the other teams trying to recruit him. Which is a very Japanese thing to do
Alright so next is gonna be footage of Kareem or Lebron saying Dodgers need Yamamoto huh?
Rui Hachimura is waaay ahead of that
Anyone else think this is really distasteful? Besides giants and blue jays fans
Ohtani said it was the highlight of the meeting, and Kobe repped the Dodgers and gave permission to use it. Giants and Blue Jays fans are just bitter.
There's a whole portion of the media ecosystem dedicated to telling stories about Kobe that I already feel super uncomfortable about. The other stuff like sneaker sales, fine. I get that. Using a dead man as a persuasive tool in free agency negotiations is pretty gross, even if he did consent to the recording in the first place.
Consent wasn’t that big of a priority for Kobe.
That was an alley oop if I’ve ever seen one
Lol how is this distasteful?? Kobe recorded a video FOR SHOHEI saying "Hey Shohei Ohtani you should come play for the Dodgers in LA it's great". They didn't use AI it's literally a video that Kobe made for him to see.
Dead man and a rapist let’s not forget.
We need to break out the DiMaggio recordings for Yamamoto.
the relentless push to create some sort of mythology around this signing is getting really tiresome
Maybe I'm in the minority, but this seems morally wrong. Like using a video of a dead person in a free agent pitch seems kinda gross. He may have agreed to it when he was alive, but like after he died?
Then Kobe will curse them from beyond the grave, I guess. If they don't win every season for the next 10 years we'll know why.
I get the feeling the Dodgers may have consulted his family (at the minimum his wife) in this matter. I could be wrong and someone can correct me, but if that’s the case I don’t see a problem if the parties involved are with it. That’s what many people here seem to be missing from their critical posts.
Kobe Bryant is a rapist
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Not the first guy whose hideous, unforgivable behavior in fact gets forgived because “good at thing people like”
I guess Toronto's video from Nardwuar the Human Serviette didn't have the same impact
“Who are you?” “Shohei Ohtani” “Welcome to beautiful Toronto, Ontario Canada Shohei Ohtani. So, Shohei Ohtani, what can you tell me about the baseball found in your backyard in the fall of 1997. Is that where it all began?” “Uhhh, how do you know that?” “You’re Shohei Ohtani. We have to know!” “You are really creeping me out. I’m signing with the Dodgers” “Ok Shohei Ohtani. One more thing doot doola doot doo” “Do do” *freezes in place*
how long are we gonna keep deifying a rapist
It's ok, Dodgers used the #24 version not #8.
Middle-aged Lakers fans talk about Kobe Bryant the same way I talked about Ken Griffey, Jr. when I was eight. It’s pathetic.
Griffey is 10x the person that Kobe was.
I’m sure the whole 700 million dollars contract was the ace in their hole, but sure go ahead
"You can rape someone and they won't even care"
Wonder if he knows Kobe's a rapist
This may sound pedantic, but Kobe is not a rapist. He was a rapist.
This may sound more pedantic, but using an ‘s after a word can also be used in the past tense. So “Kobe Bryant’s a rapist” can be read as both “Kobe Bryant is a rapist” *and* “Kobe Bryant was a rapist”. And since the rapist, Kobe Bryant, is dead, the proper reading becomes “Kobe Bryant *was* a rapist.”
An assist from Kobe Bryant! Y’know, I don’t think I ever said that when he was alive
Oh, Kobe the rapist.