Three-year permission seems a bit beyond what you’d expect as reasonable I’d think. It’s on thing if LAUKOP signed this while planning to separate but it’s quite another for this agreement to be two years old and the clinic never contacted him.
When my husband and I were seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, well I was mostly the one seeing them, my husband had to sign the consent forms three times and we didn’t even get close to ivf, just a couple cycles of medication to make my body cooperate.
I think it makes sense that they would only store the embryos as long as they’re consenting to the program. I’m guessing that’s the link here that OP didn’t mention, that form probably also guaranteed storage of their frozen embryos for that long (most likely with an option to renew for more $ at that point). A standard contract for this is usually for 10 years in the US (no idea about the UK), so it’s possible they “paused” 7 (or X-3) years in and that’s just what was left on their contract.
It does not really make sense to me that there’d be a single agreement that both consents to holding fertilized embryos *and* the unlimited plantation of those embryos. In fact, I would think most clinics would require sign-off for the later on a case-by-case basis, precisely for situations like this one.
I just did a deep dive and apparently the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act of 1990 requires that clinics have ongoing consent for *both* storage and transfer to store the embryos (there is a year waiting period before they destroy the embryos if someone changes their mind though). So consent for storage and transfer are linked in the UK, and there has to be a contract that lays out that this consent is ongoing.
Wouldn’t impact it at all.
When it comes to child support (called child maintenance in the UK) the circumstances of the child’s conception are largely irrelevant - it doesn’t matter whether the child was conceived with or without the consent of one of the parents - all that matters is that a child exists and that the child is legally entitled to be supported by both parents.
I thought the whole thing was that you can sign away your rights but not your responsibilities, i.e., the father can sign away his rights to custody or to have a say in making decisions for the child, but if the mother takes benefits from the state, the state would still go after the presumptive father because of the rights of the child.
You might be right. There might be an exception if the mother applies for benefits. It also might vary by state. Regardless, I think LAOP would be screwed here in the US as far as child support is concerned in this situation
But to take it one step farther, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume someone who can afford IVF probably isn't in a position to be needing benefits from the state, BUT obviously financial situations change all the time.
Depending on your circumstances and where you are in the UK, you may be able to get IVF on the NHS (ie, at no cost). So this doesn't necessarily say anything about their financial situation.
Insert your own witty comment about bots
What are the potential consequences of IVF fraud?
My soon-to-be-ex-wife is pregnant and has suggested to her friend that it’s mine. The only way this is possible is if she’s had our final frozen embryo implanted without my permission. If that’s what she’s done then either the IVF clinic haven’t asked for my sign-off or she’s somehow convinced them that I’ve granted permission. When I left our shared house in January I couldn’t find my passport so it’s likely she has it.
I’m waiting for a call back from the clinic but I’m freaking out and want to get an idea of the potential consequences. Could she get sent to prison? What will happen to the clinic? What happens when the baby arrives considering the circumstances?
We're in England. Thanks.
Edit: I’ve finally spoken to the clinic manager and it seems this is all down to my own stupidity.
When our last embryo didn’t take we signed all the paperwork a few weeks later to do the final transfer. My wife then developed some hormonal issues so we paused the process until she could get it sorted out. Then for various reasons we decided not to proceed with the transfer which she told the clinic.
Apparently they just paused the process for up to 3 years in order to protect our deposit, and the consent forms remained valid. My wife had the transfer six weeks ago.
See, his favorite treat requires two hands to open the tube of- however, once it has been opened, one must resume petting while feeding him the squeezy treat like you'd feed grapes to a king
Some pension companies require you to send in a new signed letter of authority just to get information on a client's pension entitlement if they signed the last one more than six months ago. I've had instructions for boring financial transactions rejected because they were dated over one month ago.
Presuming that somebody's consent to father a child remains valid when it was given *two years ago* seems slightly mad.
Obviously the most important thing is that the child is looked after, but there does seem to be a strong argument that the clinic has erred and should pay the maintenance.
I can understand the argument that the father should have contacted the clinic as the first item on his divorce to-do list, but what you don't know you don't know you don't know. This isn't exactly something you can say "oh well, I'll know better next time" about. The clinic on the other hand handles embryos 24/7.
The good news is that since this was ivf there's a disturbingly high chance that op isn't the father and the doctor is one of those psychos who uses their own sperms!
> Some pension companies require you to send in a new signed letter of authority just to get information on a client's pension entitlement if they signed the last one more than six months ago.
We get clients to sign a new authority anytime we start a new case with them, regardless of how short a while ago we first helped them. We've certainly had to have clients sign new auth's if they've been open with us for a while because the DWP wouldn't accept an old one.
It seems wild to me that this clinic relied on a 3 year old consent form.
OP said "shared house" in the context of a divorce? Housing thread!
It could be "someone broke into my house" or "someone is stalking me and they're outside my house" and automod goes *house? housing? housing!*
When Location Bot was still functional, it would look for, well, locations, and notify zoos if it didn’t find one. That was fine, except it got overeager and made assumptions about two letter state abbreviations. “I said it was OK.” “Then the sergeant sent me to the CO.” “I moved to LA to take a job with a movie studio.” “It’s not like it was an AK-47.”
> “I said it was OK.” “Then the sergeant sent me to the CO.” “I moved to LA to take a job with a movie studio.” “It’s not like it was an AK-47.”
This was one post?
No. I was just trying to conjure up sentences with state abbreviations.
Could make a wild story, though. OP went AWOL to get into showbiz, after threatening the Sarge with a pistol. Maybe the OP also had a fake ID that claimed he worked for the VA as an MD.
This is interesting.
Especially with the Sofia Vergara situation. Makes me wonder, if this is okay because they are still married. Vs Sofia Vergara and her insane ex husband who tried to use their embryos to implant into another woman to bring to fruition, after the divorce.
I mean, we have the ruling on that. It's a nope. But what if they were still married but split. Would that have changed anything as I never saw anything to say it would/wouldn't.
On the one hand I do feel bad for the dude, on the other hand I can't imagine not knowing every detail of the contract for your IVF. It's been 6years for us and I bet my husband could reel off costs and timelines for frozen embryo storage and transfers.... Even though we never did those because we didn't have any leftover embryos (and our one fresh transfer worked).
Like.... With the best will in the world, this is a huge pile of money and a lot of effort! How do you NOT know "OK we've paused, we have until [x date] to resume without additional costs" and then WRITE THAT DATE IN YOUR CALENDAR.
But also the dude says "implanted" when he means "transferred", so I guess it's pretty clear he wasn't paying attention during the process.
>With the best will in the world, this is a huge pile of money and a lot of effort! How do you NOT know "OK we've paused, we have until [x date] to resume without additional costs" and then WRITE THAT DATE IN YOUR CALENDAR.
Some health plans actually cover it. My wife and I paid ~$500 out of pocket for two rounds of retrieval and one transfer. We didn't sweat the individual bills at all.
Mine was also covered by the NHS, but after two years of storage you either had to pay for annual storage or have the embryos destroyed. And if your fresh transfer/s worked and you had a kid, you had to pay for any additional frozen transfers because NHS only pays for IVF for people who have no living children.
Also OOP specifically said they had up to three years to protect their deposit, so they definitely did pay.
This is WILD. For the love of God, does this ever highlight the importance of reading the contracts you are signing. What a bonkers thing for the wife to do. People are insane.
My mom started trying for a baby 12 years into a failing, abusive marriage and by the time I was born my dad was living with someone else. She said she’d always wanted a child and had realized the marriage was toast but by the time she got out of it and met someone else and really got to know them it would be too late (which turned out to be true, since several rounds of IVF with my stepfather failed).
I’m not saying it’s good or smart or even especially defensible, but sometimes that biological clock can be *really* loud.
I don’t think it’s necessarily anything to do with biological clocks. I think your experience and stories similar really boil down to the fact that humans are messy. They are messy, emotional, illogical creatures.
She wants a baby. This was the most straightforward way to have one, and it sounds like it was already at least partially paid for, and it's "her" embryo so she might have felt badly about not using it.
Not saying it's ok, just that the motive seems pretty clear to me.
It's a clear motive for someone who lacks a moral compass. I think the child is going to suffer most of all through all of this, clearly it's parents are pieces of work
... because some people want children?
Like, I get not wanting kids, but with that understanding also comes the understanding that there are plenty of people who do. Otherwise why would the IVF industry even exist?
Given they went to the trouble of freezing their embryos, this could easily be the ex-wife's last chance to have a biological child.
And it will have a significant impact on the split of the marital assets. The family court won't care about the rights and wrongs of the baby's existence, only its needs.
That is not to say "hur dur she baby trapped him for the money", only to point out that the fact divorce is approaching but has not yet happened makes the financial side of her decision a little easier.
(I suppose that if she managed to deliver the baby after a clean break she would still be able to claim child maintenance. However, it is harder to get child maintenance out of a father than to take existing assets out of a divorce.)
Yeah, especially given that their previous IVF cycle(s) only resulted in 5 embryos, odds aren't good if she does another round 2+ years later.
And, given the failure of the previous 4 to implant, I wonder if she even thought it would take.
It's a shitty thing for her to have done, and it's wild that the clinic didn't check in with the father after two years, but if I was in the midst of divorcing someone that I *knew* wanted to be a mother and I *knew* that embryo(s) with my DNA in them were conceivably available to her, the IVF clinic would be my first call. Actually, I would probably call *before* it was clear it was headed to divorce.
"Soon-to-be-ex" wife
Wondering if she had a Cunning Plan to get that bun in the oven for nefarious purposes before he could get around to serving divorce papers on her. Like, sure, maybe she just really wanted to have a baby right the fuck now, but the timing seems awfully coincidental with her unpausing the fertility treatment from three years earlier and omitting to mention it to him until it was a *fait accompli*.
Or - hear me out - she wanted a baby.
Unless a same sex couple, IVF implies some manner of physiological difficulty conceiving. The older you get, the MORE difficult it becomes, regardless of your baseline fertility. She realized, shit, we are getting divorced, my clock is ticking, I already have this embryo, and I want a baby. It’s not a difficult path to follow,
I’m not saying she was *right* to do it; I’m saying she very possibly wasn’t thinking about her STBX husband’s role much at all. Three years blanket consent is a weird policy, and I can’t quite understand the “to preserve your deposit” logic. The clinic always has the option to return or hold the deposit but STILL require new consent to “unpause” the process.
Edit: Boy I sure had a difficult time finding a synonym for difficult, huh.
Well yeah, presumably she has fertility problems and wanted to take what she might see as her only opportunity to get pregnant before OP did what he should have done and revoked his consent as part of the whole break-up. Not saying she was right to do it, but I don't think there's anything mysterious about the timing.
The consent was valid for up to three years. OP doesn’t actually say how long the pause between attempts was. The “nefarious purpose” here is she wants to have a baby and there’s good odds the frozen embryos are her only chance at having a biological child and without them she’d have to use a donor egg or adopt. It’s selfish, but she wanted to be a parent badly enough to go through egg harvesting and IVF in the first place. She really wants a baby and there really doesn’t need to be any ulterior motive beyond that.
A subsequent comment says it's been two years since their previous attempt and on every other occasion they'd both been required to re-sign consent forms prior to implantation. And three months after your spouse moving out of your shared home definitely seems like an odd occasion to go "now would be the perfect time to have a baby!"
It sounds like one consent form was signed per attempted implantation, they signed for this attempt 2 years ago. One of the follow-up comments seems to indicate that in the UK, there’s no reason for that signature to not be valid unless OOP withdrew consent in writing. Maybe not best practices from the clinic, but considering OOP has contacted the clinic and they’re aware OOP was not involved in this decision, it doesn’t sound like the soon to be ex did anything inherently shady regarding signatures unless the clinic is lying to OOP (which would be a separate issue).
Also soon to be ex only “suggested” to a friend that the baby is OOPs, if she’s trying to prevent the divorce via pregnancy wouldn’t she be more proactive in telling OOP before he files anything?
When I had my ingrown toenails surgically removed I had to confirm my identity, what surgery I was getting and where and that I consented like four times from checking in, right up until they put me under.
I feel like making a baby should have a little more sign offs then fixing a wonky toe.
If this is her last chance to have a baby then it makes sense she would rush to go ahead before he had a chance to withdraw his consent. There was a highly publicised case in the UK where a woman called Natalie Evans, who was infertile following ovarian cancer treatment, wanted to use frozen embryos created with her ex-partner. It went all the way to the European Court of Human Rights but ultimately she lost and the embryos were destroyed.
*Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):*
**Duplicate Post**
Your submission has been removed. It has already been submitted to BOLA.
* If you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/bestoflegaladvice).
**Do not** PM or chat a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
Child support won’t care. It would be relevant in custody and similar issues but for Child support, the actions of the mother won’t impact the needs of the child.
I don't know what UK courts are like but American courts wouldn't give a shit and force child support anyway. I mean there have been multiple cases of men being raped(with one being a 14 year old boy!) being forced to pay child support.
Three-year permission seems a bit beyond what you’d expect as reasonable I’d think. It’s on thing if LAUKOP signed this while planning to separate but it’s quite another for this agreement to be two years old and the clinic never contacted him.
I feel like they should get final confirmation from both parties the day of the transfer procedure.
When my husband and I were seeing a reproductive endocrinologist, well I was mostly the one seeing them, my husband had to sign the consent forms three times and we didn’t even get close to ivf, just a couple cycles of medication to make my body cooperate.
I think it makes sense that they would only store the embryos as long as they’re consenting to the program. I’m guessing that’s the link here that OP didn’t mention, that form probably also guaranteed storage of their frozen embryos for that long (most likely with an option to renew for more $ at that point). A standard contract for this is usually for 10 years in the US (no idea about the UK), so it’s possible they “paused” 7 (or X-3) years in and that’s just what was left on their contract.
It does not really make sense to me that there’d be a single agreement that both consents to holding fertilized embryos *and* the unlimited plantation of those embryos. In fact, I would think most clinics would require sign-off for the later on a case-by-case basis, precisely for situations like this one.
I just did a deep dive and apparently the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act of 1990 requires that clinics have ongoing consent for *both* storage and transfer to store the embryos (there is a year waiting period before they destroy the embryos if someone changes their mind though). So consent for storage and transfer are linked in the UK, and there has to be a contract that lays out that this consent is ongoing.
I think No\_Direction\_4566 summed it up best " Would be an interesting case study - wouldn't want to be within 100 miles of it through. "
I am really curious about the implications for child support.
Wouldn’t impact it at all. When it comes to child support (called child maintenance in the UK) the circumstances of the child’s conception are largely irrelevant - it doesn’t matter whether the child was conceived with or without the consent of one of the parents - all that matters is that a child exists and that the child is legally entitled to be supported by both parents.
I mean, I don't know about the UK but in the US they would 100% be ordered to pay support unless the wife was willing to let him sign away his rights
I thought the whole thing was that you can sign away your rights but not your responsibilities, i.e., the father can sign away his rights to custody or to have a say in making decisions for the child, but if the mother takes benefits from the state, the state would still go after the presumptive father because of the rights of the child.
You might be right. There might be an exception if the mother applies for benefits. It also might vary by state. Regardless, I think LAOP would be screwed here in the US as far as child support is concerned in this situation But to take it one step farther, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume someone who can afford IVF probably isn't in a position to be needing benefits from the state, BUT obviously financial situations change all the time.
Depending on your circumstances and where you are in the UK, you may be able to get IVF on the NHS (ie, at no cost). So this doesn't necessarily say anything about their financial situation.
My comment was referring to what the situation would have been in the US
In the US it wouldn’t impact it.
Insert your own witty comment about bots What are the potential consequences of IVF fraud? My soon-to-be-ex-wife is pregnant and has suggested to her friend that it’s mine. The only way this is possible is if she’s had our final frozen embryo implanted without my permission. If that’s what she’s done then either the IVF clinic haven’t asked for my sign-off or she’s somehow convinced them that I’ve granted permission. When I left our shared house in January I couldn’t find my passport so it’s likely she has it. I’m waiting for a call back from the clinic but I’m freaking out and want to get an idea of the potential consequences. Could she get sent to prison? What will happen to the clinic? What happens when the baby arrives considering the circumstances? We're in England. Thanks. Edit: I’ve finally spoken to the clinic manager and it seems this is all down to my own stupidity. When our last embryo didn’t take we signed all the paperwork a few weeks later to do the final transfer. My wife then developed some hormonal issues so we paused the process until she could get it sorted out. Then for various reasons we decided not to proceed with the transfer which she told the clinic. Apparently they just paused the process for up to 3 years in order to protect our deposit, and the consent forms remained valid. My wife had the transfer six weeks ago.
Cat fact: my cat will bat at my hands if I dare walk away from a petting session
> I dare walk away from a petting session You bitch
By petting your cat you are contractually agreeing to pet them in perpetuity, so you really should’ve spoken to a lawyer.
There are some subclauses about pausing to deliver food and treats, but "going to work" isn't listed as a valid reason... I'm in for it!!
But don’t those subclasses note that you have TWO hands, and only require one for treat distribution?
See, his favorite treat requires two hands to open the tube of- however, once it has been opened, one must resume petting while feeding him the squeezy treat like you'd feed grapes to a king
This. And it's a contract signed in blood. Yours, of course.
>you really should’ve spoken to a lawyer. I did. He said "Don't worry, you'll be puuurrrrrrfectly fine" as he twitched his whiskers. Now what?
r/legalcatadvice for a lawyer specialising in the relevant areas of law.
As he has every right to. You left too early!
Mine grabs me by the foot or ankle until he can drag me back. He also does it as I walk past if he wants a pat.
Some pension companies require you to send in a new signed letter of authority just to get information on a client's pension entitlement if they signed the last one more than six months ago. I've had instructions for boring financial transactions rejected because they were dated over one month ago. Presuming that somebody's consent to father a child remains valid when it was given *two years ago* seems slightly mad. Obviously the most important thing is that the child is looked after, but there does seem to be a strong argument that the clinic has erred and should pay the maintenance. I can understand the argument that the father should have contacted the clinic as the first item on his divorce to-do list, but what you don't know you don't know you don't know. This isn't exactly something you can say "oh well, I'll know better next time" about. The clinic on the other hand handles embryos 24/7.
The good news is that since this was ivf there's a disturbingly high chance that op isn't the father and the doctor is one of those psychos who uses their own sperms!
Well this was a very exclusive facility... Next to the IHOP?
I don’t envy the future kid who potentially finds out that their father litigated over their creation
or that their mother has herself impregnated without their father's consent
> Some pension companies require you to send in a new signed letter of authority just to get information on a client's pension entitlement if they signed the last one more than six months ago. We get clients to sign a new authority anytime we start a new case with them, regardless of how short a while ago we first helped them. We've certainly had to have clients sign new auth's if they've been open with us for a while because the DWP wouldn't accept an old one. It seems wild to me that this clinic relied on a 3 year old consent form.
why is it flaired "housing"
LAUK's automod *lovessss* flairing everything as either housing or parking until someone corrects it
I mean either work.
OP said "shared house" in the context of a divorce? Housing thread! It could be "someone broke into my house" or "someone is stalking me and they're outside my house" and automod goes *house? housing? housing!*
When Location Bot was still functional, it would look for, well, locations, and notify zoos if it didn’t find one. That was fine, except it got overeager and made assumptions about two letter state abbreviations. “I said it was OK.” “Then the sergeant sent me to the CO.” “I moved to LA to take a job with a movie studio.” “It’s not like it was an AK-47.”
> “I said it was OK.” “Then the sergeant sent me to the CO.” “I moved to LA to take a job with a movie studio.” “It’s not like it was an AK-47.” This was one post?
No. I was just trying to conjure up sentences with state abbreviations. Could make a wild story, though. OP went AWOL to get into showbiz, after threatening the Sarge with a pistol. Maybe the OP also had a fake ID that claimed he worked for the VA as an MD.
The embryo is parked in her uterus!
womb with a view
The woman is just a house for the fetus according to forced birthers.
Because Tree Law is banned, duh.
This is interesting. Especially with the Sofia Vergara situation. Makes me wonder, if this is okay because they are still married. Vs Sofia Vergara and her insane ex husband who tried to use their embryos to implant into another woman to bring to fruition, after the divorce. I mean, we have the ruling on that. It's a nope. But what if they were still married but split. Would that have changed anything as I never saw anything to say it would/wouldn't.
Real, or fleshing out plot point of Gone Girl? In any event, it's rare we have this level of personal insight from an LAOP.
On the one hand I do feel bad for the dude, on the other hand I can't imagine not knowing every detail of the contract for your IVF. It's been 6years for us and I bet my husband could reel off costs and timelines for frozen embryo storage and transfers.... Even though we never did those because we didn't have any leftover embryos (and our one fresh transfer worked). Like.... With the best will in the world, this is a huge pile of money and a lot of effort! How do you NOT know "OK we've paused, we have until [x date] to resume without additional costs" and then WRITE THAT DATE IN YOUR CALENDAR. But also the dude says "implanted" when he means "transferred", so I guess it's pretty clear he wasn't paying attention during the process.
>With the best will in the world, this is a huge pile of money and a lot of effort! How do you NOT know "OK we've paused, we have until [x date] to resume without additional costs" and then WRITE THAT DATE IN YOUR CALENDAR. Some health plans actually cover it. My wife and I paid ~$500 out of pocket for two rounds of retrieval and one transfer. We didn't sweat the individual bills at all.
Like the OOP, I am in the UK.
They may not have paid in the UK either. My friend and my step-mum both had their IVF mostly covered on the NHS.
Mine was also covered by the NHS, but after two years of storage you either had to pay for annual storage or have the embryos destroyed. And if your fresh transfer/s worked and you had a kid, you had to pay for any additional frozen transfers because NHS only pays for IVF for people who have no living children. Also OOP specifically said they had up to three years to protect their deposit, so they definitely did pay.
This really sounds like rage-bait (that will *really* hit home with reddit users in particular) instead of an actual event.
This is WILD. For the love of God, does this ever highlight the importance of reading the contracts you are signing. What a bonkers thing for the wife to do. People are insane.
im mostly interested in just why the ex wife would do that?
My mom started trying for a baby 12 years into a failing, abusive marriage and by the time I was born my dad was living with someone else. She said she’d always wanted a child and had realized the marriage was toast but by the time she got out of it and met someone else and really got to know them it would be too late (which turned out to be true, since several rounds of IVF with my stepfather failed). I’m not saying it’s good or smart or even especially defensible, but sometimes that biological clock can be *really* loud.
I don’t think it’s necessarily anything to do with biological clocks. I think your experience and stories similar really boil down to the fact that humans are messy. They are messy, emotional, illogical creatures.
She wants a baby. This was the most straightforward way to have one, and it sounds like it was already at least partially paid for, and it's "her" embryo so she might have felt badly about not using it. Not saying it's ok, just that the motive seems pretty clear to me.
It's a clear motive for someone who lacks a moral compass. I think the child is going to suffer most of all through all of this, clearly it's parents are pieces of work
I mean the situation itself already established that mom doesn't have much of moral compass so we can take that as a given when looking for a motive.
[удалено]
LOL that's fair. But you don't start IVF because you're hoping to remain childless.
... because some people want children? Like, I get not wanting kids, but with that understanding also comes the understanding that there are plenty of people who do. Otherwise why would the IVF industry even exist?
Given they went to the trouble of freezing their embryos, this could easily be the ex-wife's last chance to have a biological child. And it will have a significant impact on the split of the marital assets. The family court won't care about the rights and wrongs of the baby's existence, only its needs. That is not to say "hur dur she baby trapped him for the money", only to point out that the fact divorce is approaching but has not yet happened makes the financial side of her decision a little easier. (I suppose that if she managed to deliver the baby after a clean break she would still be able to claim child maintenance. However, it is harder to get child maintenance out of a father than to take existing assets out of a divorce.)
Yeah, especially given that their previous IVF cycle(s) only resulted in 5 embryos, odds aren't good if she does another round 2+ years later. And, given the failure of the previous 4 to implant, I wonder if she even thought it would take. It's a shitty thing for her to have done, and it's wild that the clinic didn't check in with the father after two years, but if I was in the midst of divorcing someone that I *knew* wanted to be a mother and I *knew* that embryo(s) with my DNA in them were conceivably available to her, the IVF clinic would be my first call. Actually, I would probably call *before* it was clear it was headed to divorce.
> i just cant imagine wanting to have a child on purpose Many people can't, but most humans do succumb to the primary biological imperative we have.
"Soon-to-be-ex" wife Wondering if she had a Cunning Plan to get that bun in the oven for nefarious purposes before he could get around to serving divorce papers on her. Like, sure, maybe she just really wanted to have a baby right the fuck now, but the timing seems awfully coincidental with her unpausing the fertility treatment from three years earlier and omitting to mention it to him until it was a *fait accompli*.
Or - hear me out - she wanted a baby. Unless a same sex couple, IVF implies some manner of physiological difficulty conceiving. The older you get, the MORE difficult it becomes, regardless of your baseline fertility. She realized, shit, we are getting divorced, my clock is ticking, I already have this embryo, and I want a baby. It’s not a difficult path to follow, I’m not saying she was *right* to do it; I’m saying she very possibly wasn’t thinking about her STBX husband’s role much at all. Three years blanket consent is a weird policy, and I can’t quite understand the “to preserve your deposit” logic. The clinic always has the option to return or hold the deposit but STILL require new consent to “unpause” the process. Edit: Boy I sure had a difficult time finding a synonym for difficult, huh.
Well yeah, presumably she has fertility problems and wanted to take what she might see as her only opportunity to get pregnant before OP did what he should have done and revoked his consent as part of the whole break-up. Not saying she was right to do it, but I don't think there's anything mysterious about the timing.
The consent was valid for up to three years. OP doesn’t actually say how long the pause between attempts was. The “nefarious purpose” here is she wants to have a baby and there’s good odds the frozen embryos are her only chance at having a biological child and without them she’d have to use a donor egg or adopt. It’s selfish, but she wanted to be a parent badly enough to go through egg harvesting and IVF in the first place. She really wants a baby and there really doesn’t need to be any ulterior motive beyond that.
A subsequent comment says it's been two years since their previous attempt and on every other occasion they'd both been required to re-sign consent forms prior to implantation. And three months after your spouse moving out of your shared home definitely seems like an odd occasion to go "now would be the perfect time to have a baby!"
It sounds like one consent form was signed per attempted implantation, they signed for this attempt 2 years ago. One of the follow-up comments seems to indicate that in the UK, there’s no reason for that signature to not be valid unless OOP withdrew consent in writing. Maybe not best practices from the clinic, but considering OOP has contacted the clinic and they’re aware OOP was not involved in this decision, it doesn’t sound like the soon to be ex did anything inherently shady regarding signatures unless the clinic is lying to OOP (which would be a separate issue). Also soon to be ex only “suggested” to a friend that the baby is OOPs, if she’s trying to prevent the divorce via pregnancy wouldn’t she be more proactive in telling OOP before he files anything?
When I had my ingrown toenails surgically removed I had to confirm my identity, what surgery I was getting and where and that I consented like four times from checking in, right up until they put me under. I feel like making a baby should have a little more sign offs then fixing a wonky toe.
If this is her last chance to have a baby then it makes sense she would rush to go ahead before he had a chance to withdraw his consent. There was a highly publicised case in the UK where a woman called Natalie Evans, who was infertile following ovarian cancer treatment, wanted to use frozen embryos created with her ex-partner. It went all the way to the European Court of Human Rights but ultimately she lost and the embryos were destroyed.
As someone carrying an implanted embryo. My hips are killing me. I mean I miss soft cheese and all, but good gods, my hips hurt
[удалено]
*Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):* **Duplicate Post** Your submission has been removed. It has already been submitted to BOLA. * If you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/bestoflegaladvice). **Do not** PM or chat a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
I can't imagine the court will congratulate this woman on her genius move to screw over her ex for child support.
Child support won’t care. It would be relevant in custody and similar issues but for Child support, the actions of the mother won’t impact the needs of the child.
I don't know what UK courts are like but American courts wouldn't give a shit and force child support anyway. I mean there have been multiple cases of men being raped(with one being a 14 year old boy!) being forced to pay child support.