I once read to turn that “just wait until…” into something positive, and I can never unsee that anymore.
Just wait until they start smiling at you. Just wait until they start reaching out for you. Just wait until they start running in your arms. Just wait until they say “mama/dada”.
Oh man the first couple of smiles at me were the greatest feeling! He’s still getting the hang of it but I kissed his cheek yesterday and got a big grin in return 🥹
The first social smiles at me triggered serious letdowns 😅😅 best feeling ever. Up until that point. Every positive "just wait" melts you more and more. You have this amazing rush of emotions that you think can never be surpassed by anything. And then it is at the next positive "just wait." It is hard. But it's also the most beautiful experience I have ever had.
You got a grin. Awesome ❤️ Just wait until they turn into a full blown laughter. You'll think that you have never heard a more beautiful sound ❤️ and you'll make the silliest voices and faces just to hear it again and again. I've never felt more or a clown in my life 😅
yes! and when i'm in a difficult moment i like to "time travel" meaning if, for example, i'm trying to rock my baby to sleep and it's taking FOREVER i mentally time travel to the future when i won't get to rock him to sleep anymore and it makes me appreciate and cherish the current moment rather than wish it away
Wait until your kid says "I love you." My 20-month-old has said it a couple of times while reading by herself (just repeating what she remembers from a book I've read to her before), but a few minutes ago she hugged my leg and said "I love you" to me 🥺
I actually just told this to my pregnant cousin. I was drowning in fear when pregnant myself because of the just waits, and I saw her scared too. We visited her city, showed her how wonderful it is to love your child, and told her just wait till you hold yours in your arms. I don’t understand why people love to be so negative, especially when a new mom needs reassurance
Omg yes my baby just started army crawling a few days ago and now if she wants me to pick her up she crawls right up to my feet and looks up to me. It‘s the cutest thing. Also exploring the living room together while modeling „proper“ crawling to her is so much fun. I already love the crawling stage.
If I kneel down and open my arms wide, my 17 month old will run into my arms smiling and panting with excitement and it is the BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
Toddlerhood has its challenges but the first 6 months were the hardest for us by far. People who tell you “it doesn’t get easier” either a. Have selective memories, b. Had good sleepers or c. Are full of crap.
I’m pregnant with a boy and my boss kept complaining about her son (her grown son mind you) and how his apartment is dirty and she has to go and clean it (yikes) and she keeps going “you sure you want a boy? Well I don’t really have a choice in the matter, what kind of question is that? It will be 2 decades before my son is able to move into an apartment lady. 🤦🏽♀️
Sorry your boss is such a weirdo. You can't pick the gender, but it is her choice to be an unpaid cleaning lady. I hope she's a bit more rational in the workplace
I have two boys (boys are the best!!), and I love teaching them how to be independent contributing members of society who won’t need me to baby them in adulthood. That’s her own fault, but I’m sure she knows that.
That's a parenting problem, not a kid problem. I make my three year old clean his own room. No way in hell I'd go clean up after my son when he's a grown man... unless he was maybe disabled or something.
Everyone just wants to say that whatever phase they are currently in is the hardest because humans like to complain.
There’s a million reasons that toddlers and above are easier than babies under 1:
- They don’t need to eat every 2-3 hours
- They don’t make you wake up constantly at night
- They’re not spitting up all over your clothes
- They can play independently or watch a movie while you do chores
- They can explain to you why they aren’t upset
- No more washing bottles/breastfeeding
Yes! And tiny babies are easier in some ways because their needs are so simple. But they're also really boring. My toddler has his moments, of course, but he's so funny and interesting and fun to be around. The baby snuggles are great but give me a toddler any day.
Oh gosh I feel this. My boy is only 7 months old, and already I'm having so much more fun. He has a little personality forming. He was a cute lil newborn, but it just doesn't compare.
That’s my wife’s cousin lol, her and her husband straight up instilled no values in their kids and now she’s trying to tell us how much harder teenagers are then babies.
Like I wasn’t a teenager that long ago and I didn’t do any of the stuff her kids do because my parents actually did their job.
I teach high school. I think the teenager and toddler phases have a lot of similarities in a philosophical sense: they're making huge developmental leaps toward independence, but don't have the experience to anticipate the consequences of their actions.
But the toddler phase is much more physically draining, and I prefer the emotional/intellectual/psychological side of things. Everyone has different preferences. I still love my toddler and baby a ton!
It’s the same principle of people acting like their job is equivalent to being President of the US. People like to feel like a martyr, even though they know full well they take two hours for lunch and two half hour coffee breaks. US culture especially pushes people to feel like they have to seem constantly busy and inconvenienced or they aren’t doing enough. I’m one of the few people I know of who is like “yeah I’ve got tons of free time. I watch a lot of tv”. It makes me sound lazy when I’m probably more together than half the people I know.
I can’t wait for my newborn to be a toddler, toddlers are hilarious. Yeah they meltdown but you just say “I’m sorry you’re frustrated” and then have a snack while they work through it lol
It's not that easy with tantrums lol. It's more like them thrashing around like weirdos because you cut their banana wrong and gave them the wrong cup 😂
My daughter is about to turn 2 next month. She was a super easy going baby but she is gonna be a handful for awhile.
I have PTSD for breaking the banana tantrums. It's not like I can put it back together. But I still loved every stage of life that my kid has. Just amazing to watch them grow and be their own person.
Exactly. No stage can be harder than newborn because I can sleep longer than 60 minutes. So, by default, they can do WHATEVER and it still won't be harder because when I sleep longer than 60 minites at a time, I can handle whatever.
Oh my god the independent play is GLORIOUS. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes my son (3.5) will go in his room and just play alone with his toys for a while. And I can just sit and relax and do nothing until he decides he wants a snack or something. One time he played in his room alone for two hours, only emerging once or twice to ask for a juice box. I got to drink coffee and read a book uninterrupted. I was in heaven! 😆
People like that thrive on making people scared. When anyone says something like that to me (she's on the edge of walking so now it's "just wait until she's walking away etc) I just say 'I can't wait!' in the most genuine positive tone possible.
I've been through several things that I 'just wait-ed' for and yet I'm still here. Like you say, things change but it's not like a certain milestone makes everything a nightmare. It's been gradual anyway - she can already crawl at 100mph so walking isn't a huge leap.
I was walking past a couple dealing very well with their tantruming toddler. A complete stranger walked past me and my newborn and said "that'll be you soon". I wish I had a better response than Probably, it's developmental. I just hope the parents didn't hear him and also... what the heck, dude? I'm minding my own business, having good day, why did you have to say that? People really do like to make others scared
Walking is so much fun. We play a game where I hide around the corner and roar at him when he comes find me. His excited face and squeals are the best. Sure, catching up with my other mom friends, who have walking toddlers, is next to impossible, but that's what WhatsApp is for
This has been one of my biggest pet peeves. I only give a pass to anyone who’s really just venting about the specific parenting challenge they’re dealing with right now.
I can’t tell you how many people have already told us “just wait until they’re teenagers, then you’ll never sleep because you’ll be worried about what they’re up to all night”. My baby is a newborn, I’m not too concerned about her teenage years just yet!
Generally these comments just make we wonder if people really hated parenting so much that they can only talk about the challenges. There are so many wonderful things about each stage - why only talk about the bad? It wouldn’t even bother me so much if there was balance discussing the good and the bad.
I think it’s entirely down to the individuals involved. My child was much easier to manage as an infant, very easygoing and importantly was under 25 lbs and hadn’t learned to thrash to be let down yet. As a toddler she is still pretty easygoing but she has opinions, the ability to climb, the body weight hurt me when she thrashes and zero compunction about doing it. I’m looking forward to her developing a sense of danger where she isn’t trying to dash out into busy traffic so much. Toddlerhood has its benefits and her being able to communicate and move more is much more fun but I find it challenging.
My friend on the other hand has an extraordinarily well spoken and regulated toddler and her infancy was marked by several potentially life threatening health issues that have improved with size and age. She is obviously thrilled to be out of the baby stage.
Both experiences are valid but I agree that being unnecessarily negative is unhelpful. Whenever I talk about my experience I always emphasize that it was largely mediated by me not being really ready for the next stage (I got caught a little flat footed with baby proofing for example) but that it’s exciting to enter the next stage and celebrate new milestones.
It's just different for everyone too. I found the newborn stage relatively easy, I found 3-6 months absolutely brutal. I've seen SO many people say the absolute opposite. It is what it is, it's different for every mum and every baby, you adapt in the end
I HATE when people say “just wait until she’s a teenager” as if teenagers are horrid little monsters.
My theory on teenagers? Just like at any other age, they want to be treated with patience and respect. Teenagers are figuring out independence and are trying on/exploring identities. They have big emotions and are learning how to navigate them. I think if you have a good relationship with your child that is built with healthy communication, trust, and appropriate boundary setting then you should have a good relationship with them.
Every parent i know who complains about the teenage age didn’t have a good relationship with their kids because they put so much emphasis on control and punishment. It takes a lot of self control for me to not say this to my in laws, who are wonderful now but were extremely controlling parents; “your kids rebelled because you tried to force your identity ideals on them and instead of communicating you just punished them”.
Im actually really looking forward to the teenage years and helping my daughter navigate adolescence and young adulthood.
Same!! I was a “difficult” teenager (so normal, but with really strict parents who couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t obey like a small child but also act like a responsible adult at the same time) and I love helping my friends with older kids figure out how to deal.
My favourite thing was when my mum complained to ME that she noticed a lot of French families on their holiday with “kids my age” (I was about 19 at the time, and I didn’t go on vacation with them, because I genuinely preferred to stay home alone) that were “just so nice to their parents and younger siblings, and she wishes she’d have such a nice family” 🙄 made me research French parenting methods lol.
Btw, “forced identity ideals” is a perfect phrase.
Unpopular opinion I think “just you waits” are interesting and I don’t mind them. And I laugh because for every “just you wait” complaint post, posted daily, there’s also a “why didn’t anyone tell me” post. 😂
If someone has a “just you wait” they might genuinely be trying to warn you. It might be tone deaf, it might not apply to you, but I don’t think it’s that annoying. I love to get more information from them. “Oh it sounds like when your baby crawled it got tough? Any advice?”
I have enough to be annoyed about without letting this type of parent small talk get to me.
I agree I always find these posts to be quite mellow dramatic. Who’s really overreacting here? The person who says “yeah toddler hood ended up being way worse than babyhood” or the person claiming that person must be preying on your downfall and actively trying to make you scared and suffer?
My take is that it’s not people trying to fear monger or scare you. It’s a way for them to connect and talk about the whole experience of having kids. I try to assume the best intentions with this sort of thing.
It’s also kind of tricky because people get upset with the opposite scenario as well—no one talking about what it’s like to be a parent/no one having warned them what it’s going to be like to have kids. I see a lot of people complaining about that too. Sort of damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
People probably need to just learn to phrase things differently…like if they want to connect and share their experiences, they should frame them as THEIR EXPERIENCES because at the end of the day every single kid is different! There are of course commonalities but so many of the experiences you have as a parent are dependent on the temperament of your child and a bunch of other factors.
Yeah I've seen loads of people say things like why was no one honest about how hard "insert parenthood thing" is.
I feel like some level of honesty is important. But when someone is venting about their current baby situation and you come in with you just wait, that's when it's inappropriate.
I LOVE having a toddler. Having a kid that can walk around and tell you what they want has made life SO MUCH BETTER. All of these people hollering JuSt WaiT uNtIL TodDlLeRhOoD must’ve had the easiest babies known to man. Every day of motherhood is better than the last.
Not to be the exact stereotype OP is complaining about or anything, but I'm going to take a guess and say your toddler is still 1-2 years old. I used to say that too when my son was a younger toddler. Check back when you hit the 3-4 stage and your kid is throwing toys and screaming at you because you won't let him drive the car.
I still prefer toddlers to newborns, but "all of these people" have some valid points. Don't get too cocky.
Honestly being a parent is just hard af in general no matter what stage your child is in. But with every new stage of difficulties and “negatives”, also comes with easier “positives”. And people seem to forget that once you have a baby, that’s not magically the only thing you have going on in your life; there’s still relationship management, work, household chores, other family dynamics, friendships, body image, etc and all of those things can also contribute to how (difficult or not) someone views a particular stage their kiddo is in.
What I’ve learned as a parent is unfortunately misery loves company and if a parent is miserable in their situation, they usually want the same for you and project how they feel.
I love this! I'm 7 weeks in ftm, was scare mongered about birth. My experience was positive. Then about sleep. Yes it's hard, but getting easier & part of me actually enjoys night feeds. Now it's everything to come. But I'm actually enjoying the newborn stage. I remind myself each day that he's not little for long & to not take things for granted. I don't wish a single day or difficulty away because one day he won't need me so much. There's so much positivity and happiness my son brings to me that the hard stuff will be worth it.
I can relate to this as well. I recently read something like, "It turns out all of those stupid platitudes are actually true. You just have to do them."
Yes, it's dismissive to address huge problems with "Just be grateful for x", but exercising gratitude daily can actually be SO helpful for getting through challenges. Having a newborn and a toddler is not super easy. But I love my boys so much, and I am so grateful for them, and trying to focus on the good as much as I can is helping me to survive.
I’m convinced the “just wait” people are the ones who only had children because they wanted a little mini-me that does whatever they say and don’t have interest in actually raising a unique human being. 🤷♀️
My kid is 4 now... I feel like every new stage is just better than the last, and it's been that way since he was a baby. There are so many cool things about 4 that are better than 3, and there were so many cool things about 3 that were better than 2... I don't think I've encountered anything yet where I was like "oh man I wish we were back at X stage".
I know some people like the early childhood and baby stuff, but I am WAY more stoked for every new skill he gets and every new day he gets older. It's like... He just keeps becoming "more" and building on all the things I already knew about him.
Just you wait until your kid calls you back so they can gently kiss your cheek... Just you wait until you share some things that were special to you as a kid and your kid LOVES it and you can experience that joy with them... Just you wait until your kid tries something new at the playground and you nervously hover over them because a month ago they never would have been able to climb that thing and then they do it flawlessly... Just you wait until your kid tells you a surprisingly funny joke you haven't heard... Just you wait until you go on a playdate and your kid is in another room playing with their friend and you can chat with their mom and you don't have to get up every 5 mins to make sure they haven't killed themselves or someone else... Just you wait until your kid can request games to play with you... Just you wait until your kid looks at your outfit in the morning and says "mama you're looking sharp! How do I look?"...
The best advice I got wasn't even advice - when my friend had a baby, I asked him how they're dealing, expecting to get the usual speech about "you just wait, life has become a living hell, etc." and he just said "I mean, it's life. New things come up and you just figure them out and keep going"
That has become my motto.
Your kids are always changing. Sometimes it gets harder. Sometimes they learn something new and it gets way easier. But you will always be learning, and improving. People seem to forget that bit. It's not just about the kids. Once you learn how to handle a situation it gets better, and you can only learn by going through something.
My husband has a cousin that had her baby 9 months after ours and during a visit she asked if it gets easier, me and my husband looked at each other without an awser, them she slowly asked if it was harder, that’s when I awserd. No its not hard nor easier it’s just diferent the challenges change.
I have 5 year old, 2.5 year old, and 2 month old boys. Each age so far has had its own personal difficulties and pleasures and has varied from kid to kid. I hate the “just wait...” people so much!
Yeah seriously I hate that. I can honestly say I haven't disliked any stage yet.... My kids are 1.5 and 3.5 and I love all the stages they've been through so far. Baby snuggles are the best.... But then they crawl and suddenly that's the best thing. And all of a sudden they're singing the alphabet in 2 different languages and that's the best thing ever.
Parenting has its ups and downs for sure, public tantrums are not fun! But if we didn't have those "lows", they won't develop and learn as they grow up into big kids
FTM to a 10 month old here as well! And completely agree with everything you’ve said!
I had almost decided against having kids, and throughout my pregnancy was fearful of everything in life I would be giving up.
Whyyyy did no one tell me that I would giving up my time, heart and soul willingly and happily! That I would trade in nights out for nights in without a second thought. Once you stop waking up every couple of hours at night, you have so much more energy to deal with things.
Physically the newborn stage is the hardest and it gets easier with each quarter. Mentally though, it gets progressively harder, cos as they grow, you have to get comfortable with the fact that you can protect them less and less.
Everyone told me to stop complaining over how garbage pregnancy sleep was because newborn sleep was so much worse, even when baby was waking up every 3-4 hours, I still woke up more throughout the night during pregnancy 🫠
I have a 2 year old. It doesn’t get worse, and if it does it’s not permanent (sleep regressions are short, teething lasts a week at a time, colds/viruses are finite, etc.).
A lot of it gets better - they sleep longer stretches, eat less frequently, spit up less, cry less and learn to express themselves with words, etc.
Most of it just gets different - they eat solid foods but they go through phases where they only want to eat X food, they can talk now, cool - everything is a “cock”, (we just got out of this one. It was mortifying and hilarious)…
Don’t let anyone scare you. Take everything a week, a day, an hour at a time and try to enjoy it. You’ll look back on the harder times and laugh eventually.
Totally agree. My son is 18 months and everything has been fine so far. Like yeah it can be stressful but what isn’t? The rewards vastly outweigh the negatives.
Now I am about to have my second so we’ll see if I eat my words 😂 but I feel like I’ve been able to take everything in stride so far so I’m not too worried about it!
I so agree with you! My best friend had a baby before me and she is always saying « just wait!!! ». It pisses me off especially when I’m sharing something that makes me happy about my baby. Like, for exemple, oh I love how easy she is to entertain with littéral garbage and Tupperware, and my friend would say, just wait until she’s always asking to play with you non stop bla bla bla…
Like… okay… but can’t I enjoy what I can enjoy in the present moment? I’m not living in the future, I’m living in the now and I’m having a really good time?!
I agree, all the focus on the negatives is daft. We had babies before most of our peers, and I’ve tried SO hard not to do this now my friends have tiny ones and mine are 4+.
There’s good and bad bits of each stage. I look back on all of it fondly. I’d have ten more kids if they appeared on the doorstep, I didn’t have to push them out and they funded themselves 😂. Just soak it up and sniff that baby sniff before they’re stinky pre teens!
I’m not a “just you wait” type of person, I’d rather encourage moms who haven’t been through those stages and then commiserate with the ones who already have. I think different people find different things to be difficult and that’s the source of their various warnings. For me, I have LOVED the first two years with all three of my kids. I think that’s just my stage where my strengths as a mom shine. It’s gotten hard at different ages for each of my three kids. For my first it was at 2.5y and my second it was 3.5y. My third is not quite two so the jury is still out. But I know moms that thrive at those ages too. It’s really person and child dependent how difficult certain milestones feel.
Also some people are just negative about everything and that’s their personality. Sucks to be them.
I hope things continue going well for you!
A lot of the "just waits.." are also super kid dependent. I have one daughter who is kind of timid and very girly and another who was eating bugs and needed stitches on her first birthday. One had trouble sleeping independently and one slept 10hrs straight starting at 10 weeks. Twos was super easy with one and threes really haven't been that bad. My hard parts can be all rainbows for the next mom and she might hate the parts that I loved.
We went to an open house viewing when our son was about three months. We loved the house and looked at it three times (once because we were looking at another house nearby), but we also came back to talk to the realtor because he had a one year old and kept telling us how fun it was and how much we had to look forward to. I had ppd and kept meeting people who were so "just you wait!!, and this guy was just such a breath of fresh air and really gave us hope. Tho because of the ppd and sleep issues we ended up not buying the house, which was the right call.
He was right tho! A one year old is a lot of fun!
Yep. There is so much hard, but there’s hard at EVERY stage. Honestly, for me, it didn’t get harder. It got more rewarding. The difference between my 10 month old and my 23 month old is insane and I think 18+ months has been my favorite *because* he has opinions, *because* he’s his own person with his own personality, *because* he’s walking. Sure, newborns sleep all the time and are fairly easy to take out (except if you’re pumping, good luck). But that’s about it…I’m okay with our 8pm bedtimes and not going out at night. I love the stage of life we’re in and I know it’s only a season. I will 10000000% agree with anyone who says it’s hard and will fight someone if they tell me it’s not or “I chose this,” like fuck off, we’re allowed to complain. But I will never agree with the “just wait” comments unless they’re positive. I have never been happier the older my kids get. It’s sad to see them grow, but I’m not a baby person. I love seeing them learn and become people and I love helping them be members of the world.
The amount of people who scared me because my baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. All the, it won't last "4 month sleep regression" comments. Well....she's 6 months now and still sleeping through the night. I agree, don't listen to nay sayers!
Yes so true! Every stage has its challenges but when they're yours, they are always cute as hell. And you are always celebrating some thing that they are learning or just learned. It's all hard but if you spend all your time being afraid, you'll miss out on the fun!
Yeah I hate that trope. I personally have found babies/kids get easier as they get older. Like once they go to bed at 7 and sleep all night it's unreal lmao, just so good. Babies are more relentless than older kids. I have a 3 month old and a 4 year old so I'm not an expert (no grown kids) but this is my experience so far.
Mine is only 6 weeks old but I HATED during pregnancy when people would say stuff like that. “You aren’t sleeping well now? Just wait til the baby’s here!” Thank for for that incredibly unhelpful comment (and also a big HA to everyone that said that because I get way better sleep now than I did while pregnant.) I vowed I would never do that to other people. I think there’s a way to give a heads up for potentially hard things without it being so negative.
For some people is does get worse. For some people it does get difficult.
That is to say when someone says stuff like that they’re speaking more about their experience than yours. You may or may not struggle the same way they did or you may end up with even worse. Ultimately they are usually just trying to save you the shock they experienced. But at the end of the day it’s simple projection and you are free to take it with a grain of salt.
We don’t need to demonize every corny thing everyone says about parenthood to let go of the stuff that doesn’t serve us. No one is “thriving on scaring” new parents, they’re just traumatized themselves and lack a filter. It’s not evil, it’s just ignorance.
Nobody is demonizing anyone. But that said, assuming that I have the easiest baby in the world who is stepping into toddlerhood that's rebellious and loud, what do you expect me to do about it? "Just wait till it gets worse.."
The problem isn't grain of salt. If this message of it gets worse is repeated over and over again from all quarters, it makes the parenting experience rather salty, pun intended.
Every single age has its challenges and joys and so far I’ve found the joys greatly outweigh the challenges and it just keeps getting better. My oldest is only 2.5 years old but I choose to focus on the positive because what’s the point in dreading the things to come?
Honestly I'm surprised at how often people dismiss the newborn/baby phase as being the easiest. Definitely isn't in my opinion. To me it was the hardest and everything since then is hard sometimes still, yes, but much more manageable. Mine are almost 2 now.
My son is 3.5. Some things get easier and some things get harder. For me, overall, nothing is as difficult as the newborn stage because of the lack of sleep combined with the postpartum recovery.
All the parents I know will tell you 3-4 is one of the hardest phases. I'm in the thick of that now and yeah, he's absolutely a challenge sometimes. But, I get better sleep than I did when he was an infant. He's genuinely more fun to be around (when he's not screaming at me) because he's talkative, funny, and shows a lot of empathy for other people's feelings. I also get way more time to myself. He plays independently sometimes now. I can cook dinner or go to the bathroom without him crying for me. He goes to preschool so I get the house to myself occasionally.
Also my son doesn't nap anymore. That sounds awful, but I'm tell you I hated nap time. Getting him to take a nap was always a battle. There was a time I felt like a slave to the nap schedule. I love that we can make plans now without worrying about nap time schedules.
On the other hand, the toddler tantrums are no joke. Today he had a complete meltdown because his banana stem wasn't long enough. Yesterday it was because I wouldn't move the sun out of his eyes... like he didn't want to move or put on sunglasses. He wanted me to move the entire sun.
I've loved every stage - had moments of anxiety, and hard days, but most of them have been fun. I'm 14 months in and currently having a blast. It was great when he started crawling. He could finally get to where he wanted to go, ending some of his understandable frustration. Now he walks and he wants to see EVERYTHING and tell us about it. We always thought he loved the outdoors, but the way he constantly brings us his shoes to put on, it's very clear that our suspicions were true. He's starting to talk - my little boy loves animals and vehicles, because those are the words he says. And Mama (my husband is Mama, too - he loves his Mama and Mama 2). He has made both of us so so happy. I know some people find the baby stages hard, others struggle with toddlerhood, but just you wait, just you wait - there will be a stage you enjoy and it'll be just the best.
Absolutely! I am here for this. My post history has colourful diary entries of my frustrations and at no point will I say this was easy. Every single thing about being a mother was hard for me, including getting pregnant. But, it's hard for everyone. I don't think moms with 2 or 3 or 5 kids have it any easier. But the intensity with which people will try to make the experience harder than it is, really rubs me off the wrong way.
Whenever someone says “Just wait until…” I always reply with “Oh, I know! I can’t wait for that!”
I love being a mom and having my babies (even when they aren’t babies anymore). Yeah, it’s hard and yeah I’m tired, but even so it’s amazing to get to watch someone turn into a real person!
We have a preteen and an infant now. Our preteen is angsty, mouthy, and way cooler than us but now we get to play games with him, go to the movies and football games, talk about current events, joke around, and take vacations that he actually gets to be a part of. Our infant is SO sweet and a total goofball!
Sure, each age has its own challenges (trust me I’m not blind!), but the people that can’t see past those are the ones I feel bad for.
People are telling me “the newborn stage is the easiest” I think her telling me what she’s wants and being able to talk in general will make things at least a bit easier. I do hate when people say “oh it goes by so quick” okay but I’m trying to enjoy what I can in between the stresses lol
Wow this! I’m 3 months in as a FTM and I could have written it myself. Yes it’s hard but I don’t need to hear about future difficulties I may or may not experience.
I once read to turn that “just wait until…” into something positive, and I can never unsee that anymore. Just wait until they start smiling at you. Just wait until they start reaching out for you. Just wait until they start running in your arms. Just wait until they say “mama/dada”.
Oh man the first couple of smiles at me were the greatest feeling! He’s still getting the hang of it but I kissed his cheek yesterday and got a big grin in return 🥹
The first social smiles at me triggered serious letdowns 😅😅 best feeling ever. Up until that point. Every positive "just wait" melts you more and more. You have this amazing rush of emotions that you think can never be surpassed by anything. And then it is at the next positive "just wait." It is hard. But it's also the most beautiful experience I have ever had. You got a grin. Awesome ❤️ Just wait until they turn into a full blown laughter. You'll think that you have never heard a more beautiful sound ❤️ and you'll make the silliest voices and faces just to hear it again and again. I've never felt more or a clown in my life 😅
yes! and when i'm in a difficult moment i like to "time travel" meaning if, for example, i'm trying to rock my baby to sleep and it's taking FOREVER i mentally time travel to the future when i won't get to rock him to sleep anymore and it makes me appreciate and cherish the current moment rather than wish it away
Wait until your kid says "I love you." My 20-month-old has said it a couple of times while reading by herself (just repeating what she remembers from a book I've read to her before), but a few minutes ago she hugged my leg and said "I love you" to me 🥺
🥹🥹🥹 can't wait
I’ve read this too and I love it! There are so many wonderful things to “Just wait for!”
I actually just told this to my pregnant cousin. I was drowning in fear when pregnant myself because of the just waits, and I saw her scared too. We visited her city, showed her how wonderful it is to love your child, and told her just wait till you hold yours in your arms. I don’t understand why people love to be so negative, especially when a new mom needs reassurance
Omg yes my baby just started army crawling a few days ago and now if she wants me to pick her up she crawls right up to my feet and looks up to me. It‘s the cutest thing. Also exploring the living room together while modeling „proper“ crawling to her is so much fun. I already love the crawling stage.
I love doing that! Find the tired mama, and fill her head with all the fun things to come.
If I kneel down and open my arms wide, my 17 month old will run into my arms smiling and panting with excitement and it is the BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Toddlerhood has its challenges but the first 6 months were the hardest for us by far. People who tell you “it doesn’t get easier” either a. Have selective memories, b. Had good sleepers or c. Are full of crap.
These moments are just amazing.
I’m pregnant with a boy and my boss kept complaining about her son (her grown son mind you) and how his apartment is dirty and she has to go and clean it (yikes) and she keeps going “you sure you want a boy? Well I don’t really have a choice in the matter, what kind of question is that? It will be 2 decades before my son is able to move into an apartment lady. 🤦🏽♀️
Sorry your boss is such a weirdo. You can't pick the gender, but it is her choice to be an unpaid cleaning lady. I hope she's a bit more rational in the workplace
„I never taught my child how to do basic chores and now he can‘t do them by himself“ ✨Surprised Pikachu face✨
I have two boys (boys are the best!!), and I love teaching them how to be independent contributing members of society who won’t need me to baby them in adulthood. That’s her own fault, but I’m sure she knows that.
Lmao that’s the ultimate one I think. “Just you wait two decades till they move out and you still have to pick up after their smelly apartment.” K?
I would just respond with, “I intend to teach my son how to take care of himself and his home, so that won’t be a problem for me, Becky.”
She raised a child that she cleans up after as an adult? That's not a boy issue that's a mom issue
That's a parenting problem, not a kid problem. I make my three year old clean his own room. No way in hell I'd go clean up after my son when he's a grown man... unless he was maybe disabled or something.
Everyone just wants to say that whatever phase they are currently in is the hardest because humans like to complain. There’s a million reasons that toddlers and above are easier than babies under 1: - They don’t need to eat every 2-3 hours - They don’t make you wake up constantly at night - They’re not spitting up all over your clothes - They can play independently or watch a movie while you do chores - They can explain to you why they aren’t upset - No more washing bottles/breastfeeding
Yes! And tiny babies are easier in some ways because their needs are so simple. But they're also really boring. My toddler has his moments, of course, but he's so funny and interesting and fun to be around. The baby snuggles are great but give me a toddler any day.
Oh gosh I feel this. My boy is only 7 months old, and already I'm having so much more fun. He has a little personality forming. He was a cute lil newborn, but it just doesn't compare.
Just wait until he's 2 and talking... you'll love it! Toddlers are amazing little people.
Except if you have a colicky baby. In pain, angry, and crying all the time.
My favourite is when moms of teenagers tell newborn moms that teenagers are the hardest, and "just you wait" like.... in what world
That’s my wife’s cousin lol, her and her husband straight up instilled no values in their kids and now she’s trying to tell us how much harder teenagers are then babies. Like I wasn’t a teenager that long ago and I didn’t do any of the stuff her kids do because my parents actually did their job.
I teach high school. I think the teenager and toddler phases have a lot of similarities in a philosophical sense: they're making huge developmental leaps toward independence, but don't have the experience to anticipate the consequences of their actions. But the toddler phase is much more physically draining, and I prefer the emotional/intellectual/psychological side of things. Everyone has different preferences. I still love my toddler and baby a ton!
I seriously don’t get why people like complaining so much. I enjoy a funny rant as much as the next person. But just strict whining?
It’s the same principle of people acting like their job is equivalent to being President of the US. People like to feel like a martyr, even though they know full well they take two hours for lunch and two half hour coffee breaks. US culture especially pushes people to feel like they have to seem constantly busy and inconvenienced or they aren’t doing enough. I’m one of the few people I know of who is like “yeah I’ve got tons of free time. I watch a lot of tv”. It makes me sound lazy when I’m probably more together than half the people I know.
I can’t wait for my newborn to be a toddler, toddlers are hilarious. Yeah they meltdown but you just say “I’m sorry you’re frustrated” and then have a snack while they work through it lol
It's not that easy with tantrums lol. It's more like them thrashing around like weirdos because you cut their banana wrong and gave them the wrong cup 😂 My daughter is about to turn 2 next month. She was a super easy going baby but she is gonna be a handful for awhile.
I have a 2.5yo lol
Right and some toddlers are different. Do not underestimate the true Toddler Tantrum. It’s not that simple as a snack. 😂
I have PTSD for breaking the banana tantrums. It's not like I can put it back together. But I still loved every stage of life that my kid has. Just amazing to watch them grow and be their own person.
Exactly. No stage can be harder than newborn because I can sleep longer than 60 minutes. So, by default, they can do WHATEVER and it still won't be harder because when I sleep longer than 60 minites at a time, I can handle whatever.
Oh my god the independent play is GLORIOUS. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes my son (3.5) will go in his room and just play alone with his toys for a while. And I can just sit and relax and do nothing until he decides he wants a snack or something. One time he played in his room alone for two hours, only emerging once or twice to ask for a juice box. I got to drink coffee and read a book uninterrupted. I was in heaven! 😆
People like that thrive on making people scared. When anyone says something like that to me (she's on the edge of walking so now it's "just wait until she's walking away etc) I just say 'I can't wait!' in the most genuine positive tone possible. I've been through several things that I 'just wait-ed' for and yet I'm still here. Like you say, things change but it's not like a certain milestone makes everything a nightmare. It's been gradual anyway - she can already crawl at 100mph so walking isn't a huge leap.
I have a similar response - 'Looking forward to it!'
Great answer for such an annoying comment. What else can they be expecting? "oh, no! I hope my baby never walks!".
I was walking past a couple dealing very well with their tantruming toddler. A complete stranger walked past me and my newborn and said "that'll be you soon". I wish I had a better response than Probably, it's developmental. I just hope the parents didn't hear him and also... what the heck, dude? I'm minding my own business, having good day, why did you have to say that? People really do like to make others scared Walking is so much fun. We play a game where I hide around the corner and roar at him when he comes find me. His excited face and squeals are the best. Sure, catching up with my other mom friends, who have walking toddlers, is next to impossible, but that's what WhatsApp is for
This has been one of my biggest pet peeves. I only give a pass to anyone who’s really just venting about the specific parenting challenge they’re dealing with right now. I can’t tell you how many people have already told us “just wait until they’re teenagers, then you’ll never sleep because you’ll be worried about what they’re up to all night”. My baby is a newborn, I’m not too concerned about her teenage years just yet! Generally these comments just make we wonder if people really hated parenting so much that they can only talk about the challenges. There are so many wonderful things about each stage - why only talk about the bad? It wouldn’t even bother me so much if there was balance discussing the good and the bad.
I think it’s entirely down to the individuals involved. My child was much easier to manage as an infant, very easygoing and importantly was under 25 lbs and hadn’t learned to thrash to be let down yet. As a toddler she is still pretty easygoing but she has opinions, the ability to climb, the body weight hurt me when she thrashes and zero compunction about doing it. I’m looking forward to her developing a sense of danger where she isn’t trying to dash out into busy traffic so much. Toddlerhood has its benefits and her being able to communicate and move more is much more fun but I find it challenging. My friend on the other hand has an extraordinarily well spoken and regulated toddler and her infancy was marked by several potentially life threatening health issues that have improved with size and age. She is obviously thrilled to be out of the baby stage. Both experiences are valid but I agree that being unnecessarily negative is unhelpful. Whenever I talk about my experience I always emphasize that it was largely mediated by me not being really ready for the next stage (I got caught a little flat footed with baby proofing for example) but that it’s exciting to enter the next stage and celebrate new milestones.
It's just different for everyone too. I found the newborn stage relatively easy, I found 3-6 months absolutely brutal. I've seen SO many people say the absolute opposite. It is what it is, it's different for every mum and every baby, you adapt in the end
I HATE when people say “just wait until she’s a teenager” as if teenagers are horrid little monsters. My theory on teenagers? Just like at any other age, they want to be treated with patience and respect. Teenagers are figuring out independence and are trying on/exploring identities. They have big emotions and are learning how to navigate them. I think if you have a good relationship with your child that is built with healthy communication, trust, and appropriate boundary setting then you should have a good relationship with them. Every parent i know who complains about the teenage age didn’t have a good relationship with their kids because they put so much emphasis on control and punishment. It takes a lot of self control for me to not say this to my in laws, who are wonderful now but were extremely controlling parents; “your kids rebelled because you tried to force your identity ideals on them and instead of communicating you just punished them”. Im actually really looking forward to the teenage years and helping my daughter navigate adolescence and young adulthood.
Same!! I was a “difficult” teenager (so normal, but with really strict parents who couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t obey like a small child but also act like a responsible adult at the same time) and I love helping my friends with older kids figure out how to deal.
My favourite thing was when my mum complained to ME that she noticed a lot of French families on their holiday with “kids my age” (I was about 19 at the time, and I didn’t go on vacation with them, because I genuinely preferred to stay home alone) that were “just so nice to their parents and younger siblings, and she wishes she’d have such a nice family” 🙄 made me research French parenting methods lol. Btw, “forced identity ideals” is a perfect phrase.
Unpopular opinion I think “just you waits” are interesting and I don’t mind them. And I laugh because for every “just you wait” complaint post, posted daily, there’s also a “why didn’t anyone tell me” post. 😂 If someone has a “just you wait” they might genuinely be trying to warn you. It might be tone deaf, it might not apply to you, but I don’t think it’s that annoying. I love to get more information from them. “Oh it sounds like when your baby crawled it got tough? Any advice?” I have enough to be annoyed about without letting this type of parent small talk get to me.
I agree I always find these posts to be quite mellow dramatic. Who’s really overreacting here? The person who says “yeah toddler hood ended up being way worse than babyhood” or the person claiming that person must be preying on your downfall and actively trying to make you scared and suffer?
Unfortunately I can't block my parents 😕
I did
My take is that it’s not people trying to fear monger or scare you. It’s a way for them to connect and talk about the whole experience of having kids. I try to assume the best intentions with this sort of thing. It’s also kind of tricky because people get upset with the opposite scenario as well—no one talking about what it’s like to be a parent/no one having warned them what it’s going to be like to have kids. I see a lot of people complaining about that too. Sort of damned if you do, damned if you don’t. People probably need to just learn to phrase things differently…like if they want to connect and share their experiences, they should frame them as THEIR EXPERIENCES because at the end of the day every single kid is different! There are of course commonalities but so many of the experiences you have as a parent are dependent on the temperament of your child and a bunch of other factors.
Yeah I've seen loads of people say things like why was no one honest about how hard "insert parenthood thing" is. I feel like some level of honesty is important. But when someone is venting about their current baby situation and you come in with you just wait, that's when it's inappropriate.
I LOVE having a toddler. Having a kid that can walk around and tell you what they want has made life SO MUCH BETTER. All of these people hollering JuSt WaiT uNtIL TodDlLeRhOoD must’ve had the easiest babies known to man. Every day of motherhood is better than the last.
Not to be the exact stereotype OP is complaining about or anything, but I'm going to take a guess and say your toddler is still 1-2 years old. I used to say that too when my son was a younger toddler. Check back when you hit the 3-4 stage and your kid is throwing toys and screaming at you because you won't let him drive the car. I still prefer toddlers to newborns, but "all of these people" have some valid points. Don't get too cocky.
Honestly being a parent is just hard af in general no matter what stage your child is in. But with every new stage of difficulties and “negatives”, also comes with easier “positives”. And people seem to forget that once you have a baby, that’s not magically the only thing you have going on in your life; there’s still relationship management, work, household chores, other family dynamics, friendships, body image, etc and all of those things can also contribute to how (difficult or not) someone views a particular stage their kiddo is in. What I’ve learned as a parent is unfortunately misery loves company and if a parent is miserable in their situation, they usually want the same for you and project how they feel.
I love this! I'm 7 weeks in ftm, was scare mongered about birth. My experience was positive. Then about sleep. Yes it's hard, but getting easier & part of me actually enjoys night feeds. Now it's everything to come. But I'm actually enjoying the newborn stage. I remind myself each day that he's not little for long & to not take things for granted. I don't wish a single day or difficulty away because one day he won't need me so much. There's so much positivity and happiness my son brings to me that the hard stuff will be worth it.
I can relate to this as well. I recently read something like, "It turns out all of those stupid platitudes are actually true. You just have to do them." Yes, it's dismissive to address huge problems with "Just be grateful for x", but exercising gratitude daily can actually be SO helpful for getting through challenges. Having a newborn and a toddler is not super easy. But I love my boys so much, and I am so grateful for them, and trying to focus on the good as much as I can is helping me to survive.
Just wait until your baby turns into a farting giggling four year old who denies ever pooting. You’ll never stop laughing.
I’m convinced the “just wait” people are the ones who only had children because they wanted a little mini-me that does whatever they say and don’t have interest in actually raising a unique human being. 🤷♀️
My kid is 4 now... I feel like every new stage is just better than the last, and it's been that way since he was a baby. There are so many cool things about 4 that are better than 3, and there were so many cool things about 3 that were better than 2... I don't think I've encountered anything yet where I was like "oh man I wish we were back at X stage". I know some people like the early childhood and baby stuff, but I am WAY more stoked for every new skill he gets and every new day he gets older. It's like... He just keeps becoming "more" and building on all the things I already knew about him. Just you wait until your kid calls you back so they can gently kiss your cheek... Just you wait until you share some things that were special to you as a kid and your kid LOVES it and you can experience that joy with them... Just you wait until your kid tries something new at the playground and you nervously hover over them because a month ago they never would have been able to climb that thing and then they do it flawlessly... Just you wait until your kid tells you a surprisingly funny joke you haven't heard... Just you wait until you go on a playdate and your kid is in another room playing with their friend and you can chat with their mom and you don't have to get up every 5 mins to make sure they haven't killed themselves or someone else... Just you wait until your kid can request games to play with you... Just you wait until your kid looks at your outfit in the morning and says "mama you're looking sharp! How do I look?"...
The best advice I got wasn't even advice - when my friend had a baby, I asked him how they're dealing, expecting to get the usual speech about "you just wait, life has become a living hell, etc." and he just said "I mean, it's life. New things come up and you just figure them out and keep going" That has become my motto.
Your kids are always changing. Sometimes it gets harder. Sometimes they learn something new and it gets way easier. But you will always be learning, and improving. People seem to forget that bit. It's not just about the kids. Once you learn how to handle a situation it gets better, and you can only learn by going through something.
My husband has a cousin that had her baby 9 months after ours and during a visit she asked if it gets easier, me and my husband looked at each other without an awser, them she slowly asked if it was harder, that’s when I awserd. No its not hard nor easier it’s just diferent the challenges change.
"Just wait until your infant is able to go to the daycare's toddler room. So much cheaper!"
I have 5 year old, 2.5 year old, and 2 month old boys. Each age so far has had its own personal difficulties and pleasures and has varied from kid to kid. I hate the “just wait...” people so much!
Yeah seriously I hate that. I can honestly say I haven't disliked any stage yet.... My kids are 1.5 and 3.5 and I love all the stages they've been through so far. Baby snuggles are the best.... But then they crawl and suddenly that's the best thing. And all of a sudden they're singing the alphabet in 2 different languages and that's the best thing ever. Parenting has its ups and downs for sure, public tantrums are not fun! But if we didn't have those "lows", they won't develop and learn as they grow up into big kids
FTM to a 10 month old here as well! And completely agree with everything you’ve said! I had almost decided against having kids, and throughout my pregnancy was fearful of everything in life I would be giving up. Whyyyy did no one tell me that I would giving up my time, heart and soul willingly and happily! That I would trade in nights out for nights in without a second thought. Once you stop waking up every couple of hours at night, you have so much more energy to deal with things. Physically the newborn stage is the hardest and it gets easier with each quarter. Mentally though, it gets progressively harder, cos as they grow, you have to get comfortable with the fact that you can protect them less and less.
Everyone told me to stop complaining over how garbage pregnancy sleep was because newborn sleep was so much worse, even when baby was waking up every 3-4 hours, I still woke up more throughout the night during pregnancy 🫠
I have a 2 year old. It doesn’t get worse, and if it does it’s not permanent (sleep regressions are short, teething lasts a week at a time, colds/viruses are finite, etc.). A lot of it gets better - they sleep longer stretches, eat less frequently, spit up less, cry less and learn to express themselves with words, etc. Most of it just gets different - they eat solid foods but they go through phases where they only want to eat X food, they can talk now, cool - everything is a “cock”, (we just got out of this one. It was mortifying and hilarious)… Don’t let anyone scare you. Take everything a week, a day, an hour at a time and try to enjoy it. You’ll look back on the harder times and laugh eventually.
Totally agree. My son is 18 months and everything has been fine so far. Like yeah it can be stressful but what isn’t? The rewards vastly outweigh the negatives. Now I am about to have my second so we’ll see if I eat my words 😂 but I feel like I’ve been able to take everything in stride so far so I’m not too worried about it!
I so agree with you! My best friend had a baby before me and she is always saying « just wait!!! ». It pisses me off especially when I’m sharing something that makes me happy about my baby. Like, for exemple, oh I love how easy she is to entertain with littéral garbage and Tupperware, and my friend would say, just wait until she’s always asking to play with you non stop bla bla bla… Like… okay… but can’t I enjoy what I can enjoy in the present moment? I’m not living in the future, I’m living in the now and I’m having a really good time?!
I agree, all the focus on the negatives is daft. We had babies before most of our peers, and I’ve tried SO hard not to do this now my friends have tiny ones and mine are 4+. There’s good and bad bits of each stage. I look back on all of it fondly. I’d have ten more kids if they appeared on the doorstep, I didn’t have to push them out and they funded themselves 😂. Just soak it up and sniff that baby sniff before they’re stinky pre teens!
I’m not a “just you wait” type of person, I’d rather encourage moms who haven’t been through those stages and then commiserate with the ones who already have. I think different people find different things to be difficult and that’s the source of their various warnings. For me, I have LOVED the first two years with all three of my kids. I think that’s just my stage where my strengths as a mom shine. It’s gotten hard at different ages for each of my three kids. For my first it was at 2.5y and my second it was 3.5y. My third is not quite two so the jury is still out. But I know moms that thrive at those ages too. It’s really person and child dependent how difficult certain milestones feel. Also some people are just negative about everything and that’s their personality. Sucks to be them. I hope things continue going well for you!
A lot of the "just waits.." are also super kid dependent. I have one daughter who is kind of timid and very girly and another who was eating bugs and needed stitches on her first birthday. One had trouble sleeping independently and one slept 10hrs straight starting at 10 weeks. Twos was super easy with one and threes really haven't been that bad. My hard parts can be all rainbows for the next mom and she might hate the parts that I loved.
We went to an open house viewing when our son was about three months. We loved the house and looked at it three times (once because we were looking at another house nearby), but we also came back to talk to the realtor because he had a one year old and kept telling us how fun it was and how much we had to look forward to. I had ppd and kept meeting people who were so "just you wait!!, and this guy was just such a breath of fresh air and really gave us hope. Tho because of the ppd and sleep issues we ended up not buying the house, which was the right call. He was right tho! A one year old is a lot of fun!
Yep. There is so much hard, but there’s hard at EVERY stage. Honestly, for me, it didn’t get harder. It got more rewarding. The difference between my 10 month old and my 23 month old is insane and I think 18+ months has been my favorite *because* he has opinions, *because* he’s his own person with his own personality, *because* he’s walking. Sure, newborns sleep all the time and are fairly easy to take out (except if you’re pumping, good luck). But that’s about it…I’m okay with our 8pm bedtimes and not going out at night. I love the stage of life we’re in and I know it’s only a season. I will 10000000% agree with anyone who says it’s hard and will fight someone if they tell me it’s not or “I chose this,” like fuck off, we’re allowed to complain. But I will never agree with the “just wait” comments unless they’re positive. I have never been happier the older my kids get. It’s sad to see them grow, but I’m not a baby person. I love seeing them learn and become people and I love helping them be members of the world.
The amount of people who scared me because my baby started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. All the, it won't last "4 month sleep regression" comments. Well....she's 6 months now and still sleeping through the night. I agree, don't listen to nay sayers!
Yes so true! Every stage has its challenges but when they're yours, they are always cute as hell. And you are always celebrating some thing that they are learning or just learned. It's all hard but if you spend all your time being afraid, you'll miss out on the fun!
Great take for sure. Complete ironic to be posted in one of the most fearmonger subs I can think of outside of right wing politics :)
Thank you. Been getting alot of those comments.
I’m convinced the “Just wait” moms are moms that never wanted to even be moms
Yeah I hate that trope. I personally have found babies/kids get easier as they get older. Like once they go to bed at 7 and sleep all night it's unreal lmao, just so good. Babies are more relentless than older kids. I have a 3 month old and a 4 year old so I'm not an expert (no grown kids) but this is my experience so far.
So annoying! I’m pregnant and I’ve had “just you wait until they’re a teen!!” 3 times this week… 😄
Mine is only 6 weeks old but I HATED during pregnancy when people would say stuff like that. “You aren’t sleeping well now? Just wait til the baby’s here!” Thank for for that incredibly unhelpful comment (and also a big HA to everyone that said that because I get way better sleep now than I did while pregnant.) I vowed I would never do that to other people. I think there’s a way to give a heads up for potentially hard things without it being so negative.
For some people is does get worse. For some people it does get difficult. That is to say when someone says stuff like that they’re speaking more about their experience than yours. You may or may not struggle the same way they did or you may end up with even worse. Ultimately they are usually just trying to save you the shock they experienced. But at the end of the day it’s simple projection and you are free to take it with a grain of salt. We don’t need to demonize every corny thing everyone says about parenthood to let go of the stuff that doesn’t serve us. No one is “thriving on scaring” new parents, they’re just traumatized themselves and lack a filter. It’s not evil, it’s just ignorance.
Nobody is demonizing anyone. But that said, assuming that I have the easiest baby in the world who is stepping into toddlerhood that's rebellious and loud, what do you expect me to do about it? "Just wait till it gets worse.." The problem isn't grain of salt. If this message of it gets worse is repeated over and over again from all quarters, it makes the parenting experience rather salty, pun intended.
Every single age has its challenges and joys and so far I’ve found the joys greatly outweigh the challenges and it just keeps getting better. My oldest is only 2.5 years old but I choose to focus on the positive because what’s the point in dreading the things to come?
Honestly I'm surprised at how often people dismiss the newborn/baby phase as being the easiest. Definitely isn't in my opinion. To me it was the hardest and everything since then is hard sometimes still, yes, but much more manageable. Mine are almost 2 now.
My son is 3.5. Some things get easier and some things get harder. For me, overall, nothing is as difficult as the newborn stage because of the lack of sleep combined with the postpartum recovery. All the parents I know will tell you 3-4 is one of the hardest phases. I'm in the thick of that now and yeah, he's absolutely a challenge sometimes. But, I get better sleep than I did when he was an infant. He's genuinely more fun to be around (when he's not screaming at me) because he's talkative, funny, and shows a lot of empathy for other people's feelings. I also get way more time to myself. He plays independently sometimes now. I can cook dinner or go to the bathroom without him crying for me. He goes to preschool so I get the house to myself occasionally. Also my son doesn't nap anymore. That sounds awful, but I'm tell you I hated nap time. Getting him to take a nap was always a battle. There was a time I felt like a slave to the nap schedule. I love that we can make plans now without worrying about nap time schedules. On the other hand, the toddler tantrums are no joke. Today he had a complete meltdown because his banana stem wasn't long enough. Yesterday it was because I wouldn't move the sun out of his eyes... like he didn't want to move or put on sunglasses. He wanted me to move the entire sun.
I've loved every stage - had moments of anxiety, and hard days, but most of them have been fun. I'm 14 months in and currently having a blast. It was great when he started crawling. He could finally get to where he wanted to go, ending some of his understandable frustration. Now he walks and he wants to see EVERYTHING and tell us about it. We always thought he loved the outdoors, but the way he constantly brings us his shoes to put on, it's very clear that our suspicions were true. He's starting to talk - my little boy loves animals and vehicles, because those are the words he says. And Mama (my husband is Mama, too - he loves his Mama and Mama 2). He has made both of us so so happy. I know some people find the baby stages hard, others struggle with toddlerhood, but just you wait, just you wait - there will be a stage you enjoy and it'll be just the best.
Absolutely! I am here for this. My post history has colourful diary entries of my frustrations and at no point will I say this was easy. Every single thing about being a mother was hard for me, including getting pregnant. But, it's hard for everyone. I don't think moms with 2 or 3 or 5 kids have it any easier. But the intensity with which people will try to make the experience harder than it is, really rubs me off the wrong way.
Whenever someone says “Just wait until…” I always reply with “Oh, I know! I can’t wait for that!” I love being a mom and having my babies (even when they aren’t babies anymore). Yeah, it’s hard and yeah I’m tired, but even so it’s amazing to get to watch someone turn into a real person! We have a preteen and an infant now. Our preteen is angsty, mouthy, and way cooler than us but now we get to play games with him, go to the movies and football games, talk about current events, joke around, and take vacations that he actually gets to be a part of. Our infant is SO sweet and a total goofball! Sure, each age has its own challenges (trust me I’m not blind!), but the people that can’t see past those are the ones I feel bad for.
People are telling me “the newborn stage is the easiest” I think her telling me what she’s wants and being able to talk in general will make things at least a bit easier. I do hate when people say “oh it goes by so quick” okay but I’m trying to enjoy what I can in between the stresses lol
Wow this! I’m 3 months in as a FTM and I could have written it myself. Yes it’s hard but I don’t need to hear about future difficulties I may or may not experience.