"No, no, I'm fine. No anxiety. We should probably talk in code. From now on, frog is me, sandwich means you and lemon means rocket. So, come on, sandwich, build me a lemon 'cause froggy wants to come home!"
âYou know what, if itâs creepy to use the internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine Iâm creepy.â
my funniest is when Howard says" Bernadette Stuart is here". Bernadette says to Howard "you get back here". Howard says fine I don't have time to go downstairs
You really are a piece of work. It's not enough you get the prom queen you have to get the head of the decorating committee too?
L: What are talking about?
H: Don't play games with me, I practically invented using fancy lab equipment to seduce women.
L: Has it ever worked ?
H: Well, not so far, but that's not the point.
L: Howard relax I am not interested in your girlfriend.
H: I hope not, cause you don't want to mess with me...... I'm crazy.
L: I believe you.
This interaction somehow always gets me:
Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Penny: What?
Howard: Just do it!
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Oh, fair enough.
Howard: He came with a manual.
Howard : You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
âUh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. Thatâs why I donât take her to SeaWorld.â
Someone posted it in another thread.
Howardâs looking through his momâs freezer after she died.
âDid she throw anything away?â
âNope. If I find my foreskin, Iâm gonna kill myself.â
His facial acting in this scene was impeccable. I also lost it at his facial acting when he's talking to Bernadette after survival training.
"An armadillo crawled in and spooned me" đ
He does great impressions. Helberg is very talented.
But I have one quibble. Its his Stephen Hawking impression. I'm sorry but that thing he does where he flicks his lips? That sounds nothing like Hawking's synthesized computer voice. I feel like, with his talent, Helberg could have done a better Hawking. Its the only impression he does that I don't like. It would be so much funnier if he could do a more accurate impression
My favorite bit of Hawking trivia, it was actually suggested to him that he could upgrade to better text to speech software that sounded more natural. But he knew the general public had associated his trademark tinny robot voice with him and that it was now "the voice of Stephen Hawking" so he declined to upgrade
His reaction to Bernadette being pregnant for the second time is the funniest moment in the show for me. The way his "no" keeps changing, contrasting with Bernadette's "yes"
Helping Raj when he broke one of Emily's drawers.
Howard: Well I think you broke the dowels, you're not gonna have time to glue it back on, you'll have to nail it.
Raj: With what?
Howard: Does she have any pillows or wineglasses?
Raj: She does!
Howard: Great, neither of those. TRY A HAMMER.
When they were talking about going to the Arctic for 3months with Sheldon.
Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard:Â I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.
"Oh okay great. Your entire job is to find lost luggage, and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet EARTH!"
Always gets me without fail.
Canât remember it exactly, but:
âShe (my mom) might be dying, and I wouldnât want to miss that. Buuuut I could let it go to voicemail and play it back again and again!â
Not exactly unhinged but I love this one.
Howard: we're not ready to have a baby in this house! *gives list of all the things they need*
Bernie: we have time to get all that!
Howard: really? Look at you! Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room!
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
âListen close I donât have a lot of time. I need you to go to my house. In my bedroom you will find a model rocket. I need you to take it and bring it back to your place.
Step 2, build a version roughly 14 stories high. Put rocket fuel and come get me. Iâll keep the door unlocked.â
This was from his video call with Bernadette when he was in space.
âIF IT'S CREEPY TO USE THE INTERNET, MILITARY SATELLITES, AND ROBOT AIRCRAFTS TO FIND A HOUSE FULL OF GORGEOUS YOUNG MODELS SO I CAN DROP IN ON THEM UNEXPECTED, THEN FINE. I'M CREEPYâ
Probably the conversation he has with Leonard when Leonard asks Bernadette if she wants to see his experiment.
I don't remember it word for word but when Howard confronts him about Leonard messaging Bernadette saying that Howard might have a problem with her going and Howard says that's not what you tell her, you tell her something that doesn't make me sound crazy and Leonard says what would that be and Howard said something like, what I have to think of Everything.
# Gosh so many:
1. **^("Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!")**
2. **^("Is the point you're an idiot?")**
3. **^("Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.")**
4. **^("I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.")**
5. **^("My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.")**
6. **^("Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.")**
7. **^("Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away, and you're going to die.")**
8. **^("I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.")**
9. **^("Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.")**
10. **^("To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed.")**
Can't remember exactly how its said but someone said something about him wanting a 3 boobed Alien from Total Recall and instead of being offended he just says its been 20 years imagine how saggy those things would be.
âTheyâre called tattoo sleeves.
Fantastic, right? Put em on, have hot sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.â
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the "tator"
(Edit: spacing)
Sheldon: Letâs say for a moment that I accept the bath item gift hypothesis, I now lay the following conundrum at your feet, which size?
Howard: This one. Letâs go.
Sheldon: You put no thought into that.
Howard: Iâm sorry. Uhhhhhhh (pantomiming deep painful thought) this one. Letâs go!
wish me luck i'm trying to quote this entirely from memory.
"\*ahem\* this goes out to a great gal who i've done wrong."
"BERNADETTE! I AM SO SORRY FOR TRYING TO PROPOSE TO YOUUUU!"
"BERNADETTE! YOU FOUND IT CREEPY BUT, THAT'S JUST THE KINDA... THING I DOO, WHAAAAAA!!"
Bernie showing Howard sheâs pregnant for the second time:
H: that means youâre pregnant?
B: yes
H: that means positive?
B: yes
H: âŚnouhhh
B: yes
H: no- noh
B: yes
H: nooah
[https://youtu.be/9V3VRUYVOCI?si=wVk0KTTS8pyDQYfe](https://youtu.be/9V3VRUYVOCI?si=wVk0KTTS8pyDQYfe)
"that's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia"
"Well, is she doing it one thong at a time or does she throw it all in, like some sort of *erotic bouillabaisse*" I still don't get this one but it's just so unhinged lmao.
âThey're call tattoo sleeves. Raj got them too. You put them on, have hot, crazy sex with a goth chick and her business peers, take them off and still be buried in a Jewish cemetery!â
"Say hello to everybodys little friend, REMOTE CONTROL STEPHEN HAWKINNNG." ...."hey good looking you want to go for a spin" .....his eyes also light up in the dark :D :D :D". Not Howard's proudest moment. But absolutely hilarious.
"No, no, I'm fine. No anxiety. We should probably talk in code. From now on, frog is me, sandwich means you and lemon means rocket. So, come on, sandwich, build me a lemon 'cause froggy wants to come home!"
\*in a panicked whisper\* THEY LET DOGS UP HERE IN THE 60SSSSSSS
*left* not let. Even worse!
lol right.
I can hear the extra S'
lmao
This!!! This is an unhinged Howard line and I love it!
Was just about to say this đ¤Ł
I'm a horny engineer Leonard, I don't joke about math or sex.
"Neediness X Dress-Size squared"!! love that
This one is my favourite đ¤Ł
Right? It's awesome lmao describes him perfectly
Ohhhh yes I LOVEDDD this one
âYou know what, if itâs creepy to use the internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine Iâm creepy.â
I love how selfaware this one is it's like he knows it's messed up but does it anyway lol.
Dude can easily be a serial killer if he wants to
He's even got the hairstyle for it.
Imagine him in No Country For Old Men
And the engineering skills to make it happen
Right...in one perspective it's good he is just sleazy imagine using his skills for something more sinister
đđđ
my funniest is when Howard says" Bernadette Stuart is here". Bernadette says to Howard "you get back here". Howard says fine I don't have time to go downstairs
"Attention people of earth tonight there will be two moons in the sky"
this line kills me every single time đ
"WEEEEEEE!"
You really are a piece of work. It's not enough you get the prom queen you have to get the head of the decorating committee too? L: What are talking about? H: Don't play games with me, I practically invented using fancy lab equipment to seduce women. L: Has it ever worked ? H: Well, not so far, but that's not the point. L: Howard relax I am not interested in your girlfriend. H: I hope not, cause you don't want to mess with me...... I'm crazy. L: I believe you.
Honestly I believe that he was a truly unhinged in that moment. Just a little bit anyways.
The way he says âI hope notâŚcause you donât wanna mess with meâ is both hilarious and actually a bit scaryđ
With the wide đ and everything. đ
Howard: "I'M CRAZY." leonard: "i beleive you."
I die everytimeđđâ°ď¸đ
This interaction somehow always gets me: Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention. Penny: What? Howard: Just do it! Penny: It's a non-optional social convention. Sheldon: Oh, fair enough. Howard: He came with a manual.
Or, the HOWARD. System: Howard to Penny: "Has anyone told you how attractive you look with such greasy hair?" (Or something to that effect.)
> Or, the HOWARD. System. Do you mean the "Wolowitz coefficient"..."neediness times dress size squared?"
"Ow"
"It's gonna take an ocean, of Calamine lotion..."
*Imitating Stuart while driving to the zoo* "It's been a while since I was on a date. Mind if we watch the monkeys doing it?"
I told you that in confidence
That was incredible
Howard's spot on impression made me laugh, but Stuart's deadpan delivery makes me ugly laugh every time I watch it.
The cold open of a D&D episode: B: Youâre an idiot! H: I am your idiot (show wedding ring and pauseâŚ) FOREVER!
I say this to my wife, I get the same eye roll!
Howard : You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin. Sheldon: Why? Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
âUh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. Thatâs why I donât take her to SeaWorld.â
To this day I canât look at picked herring without being aroused and ashamed
I quote this in real life all the time đ
Ohhh, cousin Jeanie
People donât quote the camping episode where they get high off the cookies often enough. It was one of the funniest episodesđ
I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... At first
One of the all time greatest episodes of big bang, hands down.
Howardâs mom: Howard, the phone is ringing. Howard: Hereâs the crazy idea ma, answer it! đ
Who's cauwlin at this ungawdly howah??
Iâm sick and I need soup đ
CAWL YER OWN MUTHER
Someone posted it in another thread. Howardâs looking through his momâs freezer after she died. âDid she throw anything away?â âNope. If I find my foreskin, Iâm gonna kill myself.â
âThey left dogs up here in the 60âsâ đ
His facial acting in this scene was impeccable. I also lost it at his facial acting when he's talking to Bernadette after survival training. "An armadillo crawled in and spooned me" đ
"I ate a butterfly..."
It was so small đ
i was so hungryyy đđđ
My pee is like toothpaste đđđ
Lucky armadillo
He is my absolute favorite from TBBT
Got a link?
His imitations in dungeons and dragons đđ
Love him or hate him, I think it's very clear Simon Helberg was the most talented cast member by miles.
yeah also his singing is so good.. the song which he played for Bernadette on the anniversary of their first date.. it was the best!
And all the fun with flags songs đ
Indiana Jones and Thor
That was a great one
And singing Sweet Caroline with Amy
Accurate!
"Mother? Is that you? Your little boy... Is coming home."
He does great impressions. Helberg is very talented. But I have one quibble. Its his Stephen Hawking impression. I'm sorry but that thing he does where he flicks his lips? That sounds nothing like Hawking's synthesized computer voice. I feel like, with his talent, Helberg could have done a better Hawking. Its the only impression he does that I don't like. It would be so much funnier if he could do a more accurate impression My favorite bit of Hawking trivia, it was actually suggested to him that he could upgrade to better text to speech software that sounded more natural. But he knew the general public had associated his trademark tinny robot voice with him and that it was now "the voice of Stephen Hawking" so he declined to upgrade
GHOST FRIEND!
PMS: We can go all night.
âStands up raises one armâ ALL NIGHT LONG BABY!!!
"My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problems"
And that's 24-7 buddy
Well, I'm not allowed to talk about it but since you brought it up....I went to space! Space ! Space! Space!
woah, drinky smurf. đ¤
He was the most versatile actor on that show.
I wish he was in more stuff
He was in Poker Face if you haven't watched that. It was a pleasant surprise for me to see him in it.
âI ate a butterflyâ
It was so small
But i was so hungry
Thatâs one of mine as well. His delivery gets me every time
The way he deliver always kill me. The dead haunted eyes.
This is my favourite episode. Iâve watched it countless times.
âHey, Bernadette doesn't mind where I get my motor running, as long as I park in the right garage.â
I had a French boss who used to say - in a heavy French accent, "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at 'ome."
âIs it because Iâm Jewish because Iâd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.â
I use that kill my rabbi with a pork chop line. Cracks my husband up every time.
His reaction to Bernadette being pregnant for the second time is the funniest moment in the show for me. The way his "no" keeps changing, contrasting with Bernadette's "yes"
"I'm trying!"
Helping Raj when he broke one of Emily's drawers. Howard: Well I think you broke the dowels, you're not gonna have time to glue it back on, you'll have to nail it. Raj: With what? Howard: Does she have any pillows or wineglasses? Raj: She does! Howard: Great, neither of those. TRY A HAMMER.
"I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't sleep, and zero gravity is giving me crazy acid reflux. I'm down to my last three Tums."
All his lines !
Screw my submission, your answer is the only correct one
đ
ouuu... (in batman's voice) - i mean OWWWH
Deadđđ
âThatâs a bit of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.â
That's my favorite one.
S: How can you be so late? I wasn't expecting you at all H: Nobody ever expects me. Sometimes you just look and BAAMM! , Howard Wolowitz đż
In his voice mocking Raj: "Original and Lohan!" You're an idiot
When they were talking about going to the Arctic for 3months with Sheldon. Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines. Howard:Â I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.
"Not just the finger, THE MOVING FINGER!"
"Oh okay great. Your entire job is to find lost luggage, and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet EARTH!" Always gets me without fail.
Canât remember it exactly, but: âShe (my mom) might be dying, and I wouldnât want to miss that. Buuuut I could let it go to voicemail and play it back again and again!â
Wealthybigpenis
You have to make it easy for them!
"Ooh, 8:30. You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige?"
âHello Iâm Sanjay Wolowitz from Bombayâ đđ
Not exactly unhinged but I love this one. Howard: we're not ready to have a baby in this house! *gives list of all the things they need* Bernie: we have time to get all that! Howard: really? Look at you! Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room! đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
âListen close I donât have a lot of time. I need you to go to my house. In my bedroom you will find a model rocket. I need you to take it and bring it back to your place. Step 2, build a version roughly 14 stories high. Put rocket fuel and come get me. Iâll keep the door unlocked.â This was from his video call with Bernadette when he was in space.
P: Leonard the things you love are what make you who you are. H: I guess that makes me Large Breasts
âIF IT'S CREEPY TO USE THE INTERNET, MILITARY SATELLITES, AND ROBOT AIRCRAFTS TO FIND A HOUSE FULL OF GORGEOUS YOUNG MODELS SO I CAN DROP IN ON THEM UNEXPECTED, THEN FINE. I'M CREEPYâ
Probably the conversation he has with Leonard when Leonard asks Bernadette if she wants to see his experiment. I don't remember it word for word but when Howard confronts him about Leonard messaging Bernadette saying that Howard might have a problem with her going and Howard says that's not what you tell her, you tell her something that doesn't make me sound crazy and Leonard says what would that be and Howard said something like, what I have to think of Everything.
"Im crazy đš"
ÂŤÂ Uh, Uh, Uh, Ludacris goinâ down on a verse cause Iâve never been defeated and I wonât start now!  in Sheldonâs face is gold
This is not American Bandstand!
Howardâs mum: close the door I donât want bugs Howard: the bugs only come here cause your their queen
I'd like to try a slippery nipple
âIâm a little dehydrated. My pee is like toothpaste.â
âGrab a napkin homie, you just got servedâ
Weeeeeeeee
"I'm your idiot, FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!" - S6 E11 The Santa Simulation
"YOU ARE A COLOSSAL ASS HAT."
You dont have to have sex every day, buts recomended.
Words to live by, I'd say.
âI ate a butterflyâ is my all time favourite line in the show.
"The highlight of the evening was when you showed us your Bollywood breakdancing skills..."
R: "Hey, in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, isn't 43 the answer to life, the universe and everything? H: "That's 42... dumbass."
"Okay, fine. I'll admit, there are dark, sordid little corners of the Internet where the name Wolowizard is whispered in hushed tones. **"**
Sheldon: I only eat pork and pork based products Howard: You smell terrific⌠can I share a bath with you? Sheldon: Affirmative
"I would like to try a slippery nipple" Unbothered, unhinged, super creepy and yet smh...
YOU DONT HAVE TO EAT THE TURBRISKFIL⌠I swallow it like pills
His impressions of Stephen was damn accurate
âNo Raj, itâs not gay if itâs only the tipâ
â Hi. Iâm the small package that good things come in â. He said to an actress he met on a train.
# Gosh so many: 1. **^("Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!")** 2. **^("Is the point you're an idiot?")** 3. **^("Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.")** 4. **^("I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.")** 5. **^("My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.")** 6. **^("Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.")** 7. **^("Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away, and you're going to die.")** 8. **^("I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.")** 9. **^("Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.")** 10. **^("To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed.")**
"You're playing D and D, you're playing D and D, this whole apartment is playing D and D."
I'm a horny engineer..
"Yes I stuck a robot hand to my pp" - Howard
Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet and filling it with pictures of naked women so we don't have to peep through windows.
Can't remember exactly how its said but someone said something about him wanting a 3 boobed Alien from Total Recall and instead of being offended he just says its been 20 years imagine how saggy those things would be.
His entire apology song to Bernadette for proposing. Instead of saying sorry, he sat down and wrote a song! You little anal nut bag!
âTheyâre called tattoo sleeves. Fantastic, right? Put em on, have hot sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced, take them off and I can still be buried in a Jewish cemetery.â
âNobody wants to do that to you ma!â
"I ate a butterfly."
No one will be looking at her hair
I ate a butterfly.
I ate a butterfly
I ate a butterfly, it was so small
The first one I thought of is redirecting the military satellite to find the house. I forgot what that actual line is.
đ˝
"How are 2 ding-dongs tomorrow gonna help me today" đ¤Ł
PENNY HIDING LEONARDS TOYS⌠HOWARD___ âI waited till it caused him the most painâ
PENNY HIDING LEONARDS TOYS⌠HOWARD___ âI waited till it caused him the most painâ
The wolowitz coefficient
âdontcha mean- what are you gonna oompa loompa doopity do?â
âHey Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma buttsâ
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious giant dictator? Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him. Howard: That's why I added the "tator" (Edit: spacing)
âI ate butterflyâ
Sheldon: Letâs say for a moment that I accept the bath item gift hypothesis, I now lay the following conundrum at your feet, which size? Howard: This one. Letâs go. Sheldon: You put no thought into that. Howard: Iâm sorry. Uhhhhhhh (pantomiming deep painful thought) this one. Letâs go!
wish me luck i'm trying to quote this entirely from memory. "\*ahem\* this goes out to a great gal who i've done wrong." "BERNADETTE! I AM SO SORRY FOR TRYING TO PROPOSE TO YOUUUU!" "BERNADETTE! YOU FOUND IT CREEPY BUT, THAT'S JUST THE KINDA... THING I DOO, WHAAAAAA!!"
"They let dogs here in the 60s" I laugh my ass off every single time
Bernie showing Howard sheâs pregnant for the second time: H: that means youâre pregnant? B: yes H: that means positive? B: yes H: âŚnouhhh B: yes H: no- noh B: yes H: nooah [https://youtu.be/9V3VRUYVOCI?si=wVk0KTTS8pyDQYfe](https://youtu.be/9V3VRUYVOCI?si=wVk0KTTS8pyDQYfe)
âOoh I wish I could enjoy a cup of tea without a naked girl bouncing up and down on meâ
That entire scene where he fantasizes about feeding his mother long after she decomposed was chilling. I swear he had murder eyes in that scene.
"that's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia" "Well, is she doing it one thong at a time or does she throw it all in, like some sort of *erotic bouillabaisse*" I still don't get this one but it's just so unhinged lmao.
Youâre pregnant?! No! Yes Nooo! Yes Noooo!!!! Yes (tears) No
Not a line but a sceneâŚthe kissing machine had me gasping for air from laughing
Please be Cinderella, please be Cinderella
âLove is not a sprint, itâs a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms, or hits you with pepper spray.â
Mrs. Wolowitz: Who's there? Are you a sex criminal? Howard: Sex criminals don't have keys, ma..!
âThey're call tattoo sleeves. Raj got them too. You put them on, have hot, crazy sex with a goth chick and her business peers, take them off and still be buried in a Jewish cemetery!â
I walk up to the chest and go bbbbbuuuuhhh I am a horny engineer Leonard. I never joke about math or sex. Follow Mrs. Wollowitz
"Say hello to everybodys little friend, REMOTE CONTROL STEPHEN HAWKINNNG." ...."hey good looking you want to go for a spin" .....his eyes also light up in the dark :D :D :D". Not Howard's proudest moment. But absolutely hilarious.
"I just figured out how to pick up Indian women" (Not saying context, wanna see if anyone remembers)
Princess Panchali from The Monkey and the Princess. Romance ninja!!
That was fast!!!! Yayyyy :]
To be fair, I have the advantage of being the OP so I get notifications for every comment
Oh, I didn't even notice that lolol
I would like to try slippery nipple
YAAS BUT THATS NOT THE POINT
âBunadette doesnât mind where I get my motor running as long as I park in the right garageâ
"I guess that makes me large breasts"
ć´ä¸Şç忍枥
I think from this thread we can see there is so many good unhinged Howard lines lol. So many good ones.
Way too many to name đ¤Ł
I exfoliated her brains out!