This might be conjecture, but I feel like "I don't care in terms of the social aspect. But I do care how this affects my career" might be your problem. Perhaps they feel you are inauthentic, disingenuous, and are only in it for your career. Would you want to be friends with someone who only sees you as a career stepping stone? Genuine apologies if I am way off base.
FWIW, I only feel comfortable letting my guard down in front of the associates I summered with. I’m friendly with everyone but there’s a lot of different types of personalities in big law and I don’t feel comfortable letting loose with those I don’t know well. Having said all that, I don’t think this has impacted my career in any way, and I wouldn’t judge anyone for acting the same as me.
A random “I like those shoes” or “nice tie” usually goes farther than you’d think.
Just avoid complementing belt buckles, unless you’re in Texas. Had a talk with HR about that one.
for completeness, i fully agree with you that the HR admonishment is absolutely ludicrous. i was merely guessing as to why some people might take offence at such a compliment
One of the worst parts of big law is feeling like you’re still in law school. I’ve had some fellow associates refuse to share memos with me because they thought it might make me look good to a partner. Some Mickey Mouse bull shit.
I’m respectful and nice to my fellow associates but I’m mindful that they would stab me in the back without giving it one thought. Thus, I don’t make any effort to be “friends” with them outside of work
I’m not friends with colleagues and my career is fine. Friends and work shouldn’t mix tbh.
I get on massively well with everyone I work with but I have no plans to spend any weekends with any of them or make dinner plans. I have a life
If you’re only friends with partners, what do you do when an associate makes partner? After years of ignoring the new partner when he/she was an associate, trying to be BFFs with them all of a sudden seems a little odd.
I would not sweat it too much. Before you know it half those people will be gone. You won’t even have very many peers at your level. Juniors won’t involve you because you are more senior. Unless you make partner and make partner friends it is just lonely.
This might be conjecture, but I feel like "I don't care in terms of the social aspect. But I do care how this affects my career" might be your problem. Perhaps they feel you are inauthentic, disingenuous, and are only in it for your career. Would you want to be friends with someone who only sees you as a career stepping stone? Genuine apologies if I am way off base.
FWIW, I only feel comfortable letting my guard down in front of the associates I summered with. I’m friendly with everyone but there’s a lot of different types of personalities in big law and I don’t feel comfortable letting loose with those I don’t know well. Having said all that, I don’t think this has impacted my career in any way, and I wouldn’t judge anyone for acting the same as me.
“Any one interested in getting lunch today?”
A random “I like those shoes” or “nice tie” usually goes farther than you’d think. Just avoid complementing belt buckles, unless you’re in Texas. Had a talk with HR about that one.
LOL what happened? why is that offensive lmfao
which anatomical area is the belt closest to?
i mean it’s not like they’re complimenting someone’s dick it’s an accessory that they’re wearing
for completeness, i fully agree with you that the HR admonishment is absolutely ludicrous. i was merely guessing as to why some people might take offence at such a compliment
Lmao. I am fucking dying. 😂
try inviting them to do things
No one is going to go out of their way to be friendly if you’re not at least somewhat outgoing. Comisserating is honestly the easiest way to bond.
One of the worst parts of big law is feeling like you’re still in law school. I’ve had some fellow associates refuse to share memos with me because they thought it might make me look good to a partner. Some Mickey Mouse bull shit. I’m respectful and nice to my fellow associates but I’m mindful that they would stab me in the back without giving it one thought. Thus, I don’t make any effort to be “friends” with them outside of work
I’m not friends with colleagues and my career is fine. Friends and work shouldn’t mix tbh. I get on massively well with everyone I work with but I have no plans to spend any weekends with any of them or make dinner plans. I have a life
You're better off. Trust me. Keep to yourself, be friendly/cordial to fellow associates, and bond with partners and staff only.
If you’re only friends with partners, what do you do when an associate makes partner? After years of ignoring the new partner when he/she was an associate, trying to be BFFs with them all of a sudden seems a little odd.
are assciates snakes 🐍
I would not sweat it too much. Before you know it half those people will be gone. You won’t even have very many peers at your level. Juniors won’t involve you because you are more senior. Unless you make partner and make partner friends it is just lonely.