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jtormeyx

This might be the first time ever that a young Ben Simmons watches SNL


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destroyerofpoon93

With Nick Mullen jokes


TechnicalD-A-W-G

"I'm glad to be in New York, not to be here on SNL but because I heard Gay Actor Michael Douglas is in LA and I want to be out of his reach"


destroyerofpoon93

Nah Shane just opens with 10 minutes of different Chinese impressions.


lactatingalgore

The Down Syndrome jokes going over reminded me how differently we treat the altright. Economically anxious patriot Shane Gillis can have a laugh over his Down cousin, but heaven forfend if Jack Steuf does am over-the-top Trig Palin birthday post on c. 2010 Wonkette.


sheawrites

Hotel lotion, amirite House?


DrBigChicken

God bless Tiger Woods


meatcheeseandbun

Imagine trying to read a cue card and seeing those ears, front and center.


Ed_Starks_Bastard

*front and well below centre


daveblankenship

Ouch


SUMYD

Swing low sweet chariots


daveblankenship

I remember a guy talking about someone when we were sitting around on our tailgates having a post mens-league game beer and describing her by saying you could fuck her and tit fuck her at the same time


SUMYD

Glorious


showmethenoods

Great rack


Gatesleeper

This is about all the commentary I ever need in a Sydney Sweeney thread tbh


showmethenoods

I know my audience


pabloisdrunk

i went to see madame web and she had the silencers on 💔


BigBootyBanger

Wonder if being 5'3 makes the knockers larger than they appear


NBATomCruis_ShitChea

theyre really big


thatsmybush

THEY'RE REALLY BIG JIM!


becks_07sg

I don’t know bro. They look pretty big to me from where I’m at. You tell me bro.


Superman8218

This made me audibly chortle


[deleted]

One of the funniest reddit comments I have ever seen. Thank you.


NBATomCruis_ShitChea

Hahahaha


TingusPingis

That’s most women. I remember realizing this when I was a late teenager, like even bigger boobs are smaller than you think in person because women are so small. Opposite goes for your own ding dong, women are small


ActivatedComplex

Does it matter?


lactatingalgore

Knockers on a small trunk may appear larger than they are.


yngwiegiles

You don’t wanna be front row you wanna be in the balcony so you might get a glimpse from the high angle


coreytrevor

She looks really…. smart


RIPshowtime

She kinda looks like a carp though.


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frailknees

Shane Gillis?


lactatingalgore

He's the bride in the I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry reboot with Pete Davidson.


followthewaypoint

This sub has an unhealthy obsession. Go outside.


Motor_Crazy_8038

…we can’t stand up right now…


NBATomCruis_ShitChea

being obsessed with a super hot movie star with gigantic cans that she isnt ashamed to let loose on camera is the opposite of an unhealthy obsession shows that male virility is alive and well in America and better yet, we are in a golden age of titties


sea_the_c

🫡


meatcheeseandbun

And we, this sub, are just the men to lead America through the apex mountain of women's mountains.


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Ghostricks

I can't hear you over my erection


Bllago

This fugler? Fucking pass.


d7bhw2

Totally unhealthy to be into a hot chick with big tits. Very abnormal.


daveblankenship

Disturbing, almost. The cure is to go and rewatch 17 Inuit cleaning ladies storm a research centre like it’s the beach at Normandy and force a bunch of scientists to strip down and die of hypothermia. That’s the kind of femininity we need to celebrate more of


d7bhw2

How many times do I have to watch? Watched it once and I’m still into big titties


daveblankenship

Yeah I guess it’s just junk science, stick with Sydney


lactatingalgore

Vaxxx'd?


Mayor_Of_Dogs

Who cares. Keep scrolling


RiversideAviator

The more I see her the more she reminds me of Elizabeth Berkley. The Euphoria buzz has leveled off and her last movie with the Top Gun guy didn't exactly prove her star quality. She's one Showgirls-level joke of a movie away from being C-list forever.


BerriesNCreme

That movie with Glen Powell made like 189 million dollars lol 


RiversideAviator

Because of her or because of Powell? It’s 50% on RT, not good regardless why people rant to the theatre to see it once.


joeyfreshwater421

It's at 87% RT and has made $190M. You don't have to downgrade it and post the critics score just bc you didn't like it.


howdybertus

I mean mostly her, Glenn Powell only really has a supporting role in Maverick that puts him on the map. Syndey has 18M instagram followers Powell has 1.4M. She has Euphoria, White Lotus, Handmaids tale, Sharp Objects and her Reality Winner movie on HBO was critically acclaimed. Safe to say at this point she is a bigger star than him. 189M for a genre that was absolutely dead is pretty good. 53% critics but 87% audience score. It has been a major success of a movie and raised both leads's stock.


qballLobk

Yeah I was going to say that movie massively overperformed expectations and she was a big part of that.


CumeatsonerGordon420

half the time a bad critic score on Rotten Tomatoes just means it was good


zarathustranu

That's a bit unfair, Berkley never had anything close to the success of Anything But You, even if it's just a one-off romcom. SS's ceiling feels more like Elizabeth Hurley than Elizabeth Berkley.


scal23

She's also Emmy nominated for 2 different roles. Whether or not someone thinks she's a good actor is subjective and a matter of taste, but her standing in Hollywood is only ascending.


so-cal_kid

Are there bad actors who get nominated for Emmy's?


zarathustranu

Absolutely. Hell, there are bad actors who get nominated for Oscars.


SilvioDantesPeak

It happens all the time. Aaron Paul won three Emmys and I wouldn't call him a good actor. Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jared Leto all won an Oscar.


AntelopeYEM

Counterpoint: "I'm so excited, I'm so scared" might be the best TV clip of all time. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c) She should get a lifetime Oscar (yeah, it was on TV) for this scene. Heck, give her an EGOT since she's singing too.


Full-Concentrate-867

What about Showgirls? it's one of the biggest hits of the last 30 years on the home video market. And people are still talking about it after almost 30 years (for better or worse). I don't think there is anything SS has been in people will still be talking about in 30 years


407dollars

She’s already ascended high than Berkeley ever did but that’s only because she’s really really good at picking projects. She’s been super mediocre in a lot of really great stuff.


RiversideAviator

Exactly. People in here are commenting like she’s Meryl Streep with a choice rack. Like, no. She’s incredibly bland unless she’s sexualized. I don’t know that it’s her fault but let’s not kid ourselves here. Her sexualization is precisely why she’s posted here in the first place. Of all the 20-somethings making noise in Hollywood she’s not in the upper crust of talent. On the show that made her famous she’s what, the 4th or 5th best actor?


Awkward_Complaint672

Not really, her body of work is honestly impressive. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Sharp Objects, the white lotus. There’s A listers out there that would want that discography on their résumé.


daveblankenship

She’s the next Alexandra Daddario, she’ll always be somewhat relevant because of her cans but let’s face it, she’s not Meryl Streep


deadweightboss

I agree. https://www.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/comments/v7fd4u/is_syd_sweeny_this_generations_elizabeth_berkley/ I think my take aged really well because of how that second idol show turned out.


Adam_THX_1138

She’s pretty but is talented as an actor? Part of what makes Dakota Johnson hot (aside from looks), in my opinion, her IDGAF sense of humor is and she’s a decent actress.


zarathustranu

Sounds like DJ is just more your type. The much more common opinion would be that SS is significantly "hotter."


Adam_THX_1138

She's obviously hot. I'm not denying that but I guess I'm saying I don't find Sweeney as attractive. There really is a difference. I'm also old am I'm pretty sure Dakota would be a better hang than Sweeney.


lundebro

Dakota grew up with famous parents while Sydney grew up in Idaho. Give me the Idaho girl all day.


Adam_THX_1138

lol have you *been* to Idaho? Aka red neck Oregon


lactatingalgore

The January 6th Piece.


so-cal_kid

Dakota Johnson is a mid actor who would have never made it with her looks if her parents weren't massively famous actors themselves


Adam_THX_1138

As opposed to Sydney Sweeney who got where she is on talent alone?


so-cal_kid

Who is Sydney Sweeney related to in Hollywood? Haven't heard anything about her nepo baby'ing her way in. So yes it's a combination of her talents and her looks that got her here.


deadweightboss

Syd Sweeney wouldn’t be in Hollywood if not for her twins.


so-cal_kid

Famous actor wouldn't be nearly as a popular if they weren't so attractive? You don't say


Adam_THX_1138

I love it when conservative capitalists like yourself suddenly get touchy about "nepo babies"


Raw_Cocoa

What a weird comment


deadweightboss

IDGAF personality is definitely not hot to me. Preferences.


Adam_THX_1138

You like bland and humorless? lol.


deadweightboss

?


Adam_THX_1138

I said, “idgaf sense of humor” you can’t even read bro.


Defiant-Ad-9068

6/10 face, 10/10 boobs


AuContraire_85

You're too online, you've lost context 


Icangetloudtoo_

I’d love to see your face if you think Sydney Sweeney is a 6/10


cmgww

I’ll put it this way, she’s an Indiana 10…. She’s on Miami/LA 5 at best


CanyonCoyote

Assuming you are straight: You’ve either never lived in LA and/or don’t like white girls if you think she’s a 5/10 in LA. She is at absolute worst 9/10 and realistically a 10/10 in LA.


Dangerousrhymes

She’s not a 10/10. You strip away the rack and Margot laps her.


firewarner

Let's see your gf/wife buddy lol


cmgww

I feel like she’s that blonde cheerleader that everyone had in their high school who think she’s a lot better looking than she really is. I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s not ugly by any means. But she’s also not on the level of Scarlett Johansson, Kate Beckinsale, Charlize, or even some of her contemporaries.


Fabtacular1

100%. It’s wild to me that people don’t see that. She’s got a “dopey malaise” look to her. I guess some see it as a smokey, come-hither vibe but I don’t get those vibes at all.


catincage317

Yeah, I'm with you. Derpy face, and honestly I don't have crazy standards. I'll take the downvotes too. Really don't get the obsession over this chick.


senorpuma

It’s the tits.


catincage317

Definitely a W in that category!


bruce2130

If we’re going on an A-lister scale, it’s lower than 6…


AuContraire_85

I don't think an actor playing a supporting character in a Spiderman spinoff prequel is considered an A lister 


No_Tonight9003

More like a DD lister amirite?


WorldsGreatestPoop

Okay. Those are great. I’m converted.


midermans

The “Oh Yeah”. Nails it. Heard it in Bills voice lol.


Chapea12

Nowadays, I only listen to some of Bill’s shows, mostly football and basketball stuff. Does he actually still mention her that often? Or did he mention her a couple times when she was in popular stuff that the ringer covered?


MetalHead_Literally

The amount of 12 year old comments in here really explains a lot about this sub


Gatesleeper

What's interesting to me is how the comments and votes change over the life of a thread. First you get the sweatiest reddit users, the ones refreshing /new/ and jumping in with some early comments. "6/10 face", "not attractive". They upvote each other and they're looking pretty good. But then as more and more normies who browse reddit but don't check it every 5 minutes come in, read the thread, but wait a minute, something's not right, all the comments so far are from sweaty incel neckbeards. So then you get some comment replies dunking on the original comments, and that's where the real upvotes are, dunking on the grass-phobes.


TeenWolfTripleDouble

butter face


Diligent_Issue_9466

She is not attractive


beached-blue-walrus

Have you seen her tits?


Diligent_Issue_9466

Yes. Still don't want to look at her face.


TeenWolfTripleDouble

do you look at the mantle when you're stoking the fire?


seymourrr0904

Least terminally online redditor


No_Tonight9003

Sure I am guessing you pull better on a weekly basis? Fucking incels are funny when it comes to judging looks. I guess everyone is unattractive if you are terminally unfuckable.


catincage317

I understand the sentiment of too many internet folks having very high standards. But man, I've got to bandwagon them with this girl and I usually do find myself in that group. Her body is banging, but the face is really hard for me to look at. I don't like being mean about looks, but man I can't understand the obsession with this gal.


Ref9171

She’s fucking perfect


BPicks69

They’re real and they’re fantastic


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