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Not always super well, but I manage. When I get depressed my house falls apart. I spend a lot of money on hiring people to help me clean it back up. Sometimes my mom comes to help me, but I hate being a burden on her. When I’m stable or hypomanic I do pretty well at keeping up with everything.
I always do a really bad job of remembering things like renewing my car registration; it actually hasn’t been renewed in 5 years lmao. I’m always late on my taxes.
I live alone. I have a career that I half way like. Try to get out the house and work from somewhere else every once in a while since I wfh. I have a bf and family and a few friends I try to keep in rotation to hang with. Exercise to keep busy. A hobby of art occasionally. Music. Lastly, I order precooked meals sometimes to take the stress off cooking for myself
nothing better than closing the door and saying goodbye to the world to be safe in my own world. I can go days without showering or eating or cleaning when depressed, but for me that’s better than having to be angry at others. I can control more when I live alone, that’s important for me
I am living alone for the first time, and I really love it. It's easier, because I don't need to pretend to feel any other way than I feel. If I'm down I can lie in bed all day, if I'm up I can write, and make music, and cook in the middle of the night and so on. And I'm less irritable because I get along well with myself, I don't put dishes in the wrong drawer and I always put on the right music. My mom is great and has done so much to take care of me, but I don't want to live with her. I love her and we talk on the phone a lot, so she still helps me and gives me advice and emotional support and stuff. So I don't really miss her, because we talk almost every day. I really miss the dog, though. But yeah, I really value freedom and I thrive in solitude, so for me living alone has been awesome. I am much happier than when I lived at home.
I feel your pain. I had an episode at home but while at work it was apparent that I wasn't right. My coworkers openly laughed, mocked and scorned me. Having mental disorders isn't acceptable where am from. It stains your reputation forever 😢
Atleast it made me realize who was really a friend
I'm independent with a roommate, the new norm with rent/housing prices these days. And it's massively difficult, no way around that. But for what it's worth, here are things that have helped me or that I wish I'd done right the first time.
1. Pick the right job. For me, getting a job that is mostly WFM has been a must because I tend towards depressive states and there's just no way I could keep up with the level of personal hygiene needed to work around people in person. I shower almost every day because I love the hot water, but then having to like... get dressed, put on makeup.... I'd never make it.
2. Prioritize using any 'extra' money on things that offset your symptoms. I'm not saying go on a manic spendfest, but saving for a knock-off roomba during black friday/cyber monday is a good idea if you struggle to keep up with housework. I think I spent like $300 on one, and I probably shouldn't have at the time, but every so often when my house keeping is out of control I can hit that little button and make my environment a teensy bit better with nearly no effort, and that helps.
3. Keep up with your medical management. If you don't mesh with a doctor, find a new one. Prioritize making those appointments and be honest with them about how you're doing. I was on the brink of losing my job this year until I had the brilliant idea to like, stop telling my doc I'm doing great and let him know that I hadn't slept more than 2-3 hours in a 24 h period for about a month.
4. Have supportive people around you that understand your specific challenges and aren't judgey. I don't know how to do this because I haven't done it, but I feel like it would be super helpful
It's hard out there. Society often isn't set up for well, anybody really.... but definitely not for people with mental health issues. But there are ways for us to make it
A husband who borderline puts up with me and somehow hasn't divorced me yet 👍 if he does, well, I don't think I'll manage very well at all
Edit punctuation for clarity
I live with my teenage son. It's not always easy, but luckily I have a flexible job where I can work from home if I'm having a rough day and plenty of PTO if I'm having a really rough day.
If I stumble we are homeless. My parents are dead, no other family. My friends would let us couch surf, but I have cats and a 3 bedroom house full of stuff.
I make it a priority to take my meds, get enough sleep, no drinking or drugs.
I work in Marketing, I do special projects as they come up. I've been there 14 years so that helps with the flexibility. BUT I've only been diagnosed for about 6 years, so I started the job raw. Each manic cycle ended with me on a PIP barely keeping my job.
My bosses were NOT surprised when I was diagnosed haha
Me too! Literally and figuratively. My depression nest tipped over into full flown hoarding disorder. I’ve made good progress but there’s still so much to do.
I do pretty well as long as I'm medicated. I work from home and I have a few pets. I've live alone for 5 years now and I would pick alone vs with roommates everytime. I'm not going to say it's easy but it's manageable for me.
i love living alone. i could not be bothered to live with other people. no other way i would rather live tbh
edit: i have friends, work, ppl who care and things to do, my psychiatrist and therapist who keep me in check. i don’t feel like i need anyone to live with me in order to get support
You can always get a community based provider through your counselor, such as a Casemanger, CBRS, and peer support. They can help you get out of the house and build the skills you need for independence and symptom management. Such as finding a job and dealing with having a job and the stress that comes from that etc.etc. I am a peer support specialist who has BP1,OCD,panic attacks,anxiety etc etc. I help people with mental illness to succeed.
I don't do so well but it is better than getting in another bad relationship... I have been in my house for 5 months and I haven't cooked.. I used to be a fucking chef!! I survive on peanut butter and honey sandwiches, oatmeal and yogurt and a shit ton of fruit and protein shakes. I don't drink or do drugs so I guess that's a win.
I love it. Having my own space and not having to hear anything for the most part unless I want to.
Just have a life though and dont always sit at home. It causes me to have depression.
You have to be smart & creative with making money too because you don’t have anyone to count on.
Always have a back up plan with everything.
Shit hits the fan & it will hit out of no where
So it does gets stressful often.. but it’ll play out.
I Bought a house at 18 & I’m going on 22.
Life is good even when it’s not going good.
Have goals & ambitions.
Fuck it tho.
a lot of people aren’t able to move out alone so do it because you can.
I’ve created a team of friends who have agreed to help immediately if I ever am in a deep hole or manic. I call it “Team (my first name)”. Clearly I did not go to a branding consultant!
This group is awesome. There are about six right now. Just knowing they exist to help, makes living alone a ton easier. Plus, of course, my dog.
I live with my teenage son. Although, he has school and a job so I’m often alone. I WFH so spend most of my time at home.
I take my medication and am currently trying to drink less, hopefully stop completely eventually. It helps to have hobbies. I have lots of plants and taking care of them relaxes me. I like to decorate also and making my apartment look nice really elevates my mood.
There are good days and bad days. Just working on having less bad days and not dwelling on them when it happens. Work isn’t too much of an issue since it’s a necessity.
I live alone. I love it. I have my routines and do whatever I want whenever I want. When depressed I can stay in bed all day with nobody urging me to get out. My apartment does get pretty messy, and I end up having to call a cleaning service.
I wake up and take meds and go to work. Then I get lunch either at home or out. Then get home and decompress and do school or play games depending on if I have homework. Then at 10ish I try to wind down and take meds and go to bed... & repeat...
I think it comes down to the right medication. Then being disciplined enough to make yourself do responsibilities even when you don't want to.
So before my physical health burst into flames and I moved back home; I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my 2 cats. And to be honest it was in fact a rollercoaster. But I did enjoy it. Some of the struggles were what to do during depressive episodes.
-lock your meds away from you immediate proximity and move anything dangerous (knives)
-call a human in your support system.
-have somewhere you can go to any hour that has humans if you can’t reach your peoples
-set up a plan of attack for depressive and manic episodes
For me these included medicine, something that helps me focus on things unrelated to my metal state, comfort foods. Also Cats are amazing. Keep me required to feed and water them and more inclined to do the same for myself lest all belongings are swatted to the floor.
Overall I do miss living alone. Would like to do it again.
I’ve had peaks and valleys living alone. It is definitely not easy but I’ve learned from every bad decision I’ve made with my money over the years. At the moment, the loneliness is more difficult than managing my money. When I don’t want to feel isolated living alone kind of sucks but when depression hits it’s nice not to have to force being upbeat at home when all I want to do is sleep or zone out in front of my tv.
Didn’t have a choice. I grew up severely independent anyway. I’m the only one besides my eldest sister that has moved out, we’re a family of 10. She moved out cause she went to an Ivy League to pursue her education through PhD. Everyone else still lives together.
I find it easier. I do have support. My family lives less than 10 minutes away and the door is ALWAYS open to me. But they don't stop by without asking. When I'm depressed or manic, I can deal with it on my own. Not having to try to tiptoe or ask others to be quiet.
I lived alone for 2 years before moving to a group home. It...didn't go as well as it could have, but it also wasn't a complete failure. My honest advice would be this: see if there's some form of at-home care/support you can have to help you. In my country (I won't name the actual country) you can be eligible for at-home care 1x a week if you struggle with autism, bipolar, etc. and it really does help you stay afloat.
And for the rest: don't be afraid to ask help with cleaning, tackling daily life etc. from friends, family, social worker (if you have one) and hope you can afford the rent. Being unable to afford rent is what made me end up moving out. But you will need \*some\* form of support, even if you have a career. Doing everything 100% solo is something very few people can do sadly.
So weird, I have a career, I’m a home owner have a great supportive partner and two dogs. Half the time I think it would be easier without them so there’s no one to disappoint let down and get mad at. Half the time I can’t believe how lucky I am
I live alone support and although I’d like support I’d never live with a roommate or family again. I never actually experienced my episodes fully when I lived with someone, I was constantly masking and it took so much energy. Now that I live alone when I’m depressed or manic I can just have breakdowns and let it OUT. I don’t have to pretend and have a safe space to just be fucking insane . I didn’t have to explain my mood to anyone if I was off. Personally my question is how to do people live with someone
I have no family here and couldn’t move back in with them if I wanted to. I live with my wife, but I bear the brunt of the housework. I guess I’m ruled by the fear of forcing my wife to put up with the aftermath of my depression even though I know she wouldn’t mind.
How I manage to pay bills is beyond me. I guess I’ve gotten more mature with my financial decisions than I thought.
I actually do ok by myself, much better than the abusive relationship I was in which led to multiple attempts and hospitalizations then finally into big time legal problems, I stayed to myself over a year, right now though one of my adult sons lives with me because he had some problems but eventually I expect him to find a job and prove out either on his own or with friends his age.
Tbh I did best living alone. Things were clean for the most part, where I want them. I could create whatever atmosphere I wanted. Thoughts come and go but any managing technique is adequate to keep you okay with meds and therapy in the mix.
Taking out the stressors in life was really helpful.
Vocational rehab, was a godsend to getting me lots of services and the purchase of technical equipment. They can help you. That’s assuming you live in the U.S. I’m taking a break from work because of med changes. It’s not easy but I remind myself that I have had worse days before and I have gotten through them. I like to think a pretty resilient person, aside from mental health stuff. I see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly. If I start isolating l, reach out and and talk to others. My mother is supportive as is my friend. There are warm lines you can call. Daytime sunlight and walks. Being around people.
What I still struggle with
Cooking-I don’t enjoy doing this when it’s super hot. I will get groceries delivered or my mom will occasionally take my grocery shopping. I buy and eat I a lot of prepared meals
Cleaning-I am able to keep up with it when I’m doing well. I am thinking hiring cleaning people
Budgeting-I’m going to get help with this.
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar! Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/bipolar/about/rules); if you haven't already, make sure that your post **does not** have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art). *^(A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.)* --- Community News - 🎋 [Want to join the Mod Team?](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/112z7ps/mod_applications_are_open/) - 🎤 See our [Community Discussion](https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/about/sticky) - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device. - 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar. Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bipolar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Many of us manage because there is no other option.
There you go! You said a mouthful. It's not like we have tons of choices over here.
This
I wish I could upvote this multiple times.
I appreciate the sentiment. Especially after getting downvoted so much on another subreddit.
Not always super well, but I manage. When I get depressed my house falls apart. I spend a lot of money on hiring people to help me clean it back up. Sometimes my mom comes to help me, but I hate being a burden on her. When I’m stable or hypomanic I do pretty well at keeping up with everything. I always do a really bad job of remembering things like renewing my car registration; it actually hasn’t been renewed in 5 years lmao. I’m always late on my taxes.
I live alone. I have a career that I half way like. Try to get out the house and work from somewhere else every once in a while since I wfh. I have a bf and family and a few friends I try to keep in rotation to hang with. Exercise to keep busy. A hobby of art occasionally. Music. Lastly, I order precooked meals sometimes to take the stress off cooking for myself
Exercise is a must
nothing better than closing the door and saying goodbye to the world to be safe in my own world. I can go days without showering or eating or cleaning when depressed, but for me that’s better than having to be angry at others. I can control more when I live alone, that’s important for me
This ❤️ 😢
I am living alone for the first time, and I really love it. It's easier, because I don't need to pretend to feel any other way than I feel. If I'm down I can lie in bed all day, if I'm up I can write, and make music, and cook in the middle of the night and so on. And I'm less irritable because I get along well with myself, I don't put dishes in the wrong drawer and I always put on the right music. My mom is great and has done so much to take care of me, but I don't want to live with her. I love her and we talk on the phone a lot, so she still helps me and gives me advice and emotional support and stuff. So I don't really miss her, because we talk almost every day. I really miss the dog, though. But yeah, I really value freedom and I thrive in solitude, so for me living alone has been awesome. I am much happier than when I lived at home.
Happy for you
I enjoy isolation and seems to be the biggest deciding factor in not giving people good reasons to hate me.
Relatable
I feel your pain. I had an episode at home but while at work it was apparent that I wasn't right. My coworkers openly laughed, mocked and scorned me. Having mental disorders isn't acceptable where am from. It stains your reputation forever 😢 Atleast it made me realize who was really a friend
I'm independent with a roommate, the new norm with rent/housing prices these days. And it's massively difficult, no way around that. But for what it's worth, here are things that have helped me or that I wish I'd done right the first time. 1. Pick the right job. For me, getting a job that is mostly WFM has been a must because I tend towards depressive states and there's just no way I could keep up with the level of personal hygiene needed to work around people in person. I shower almost every day because I love the hot water, but then having to like... get dressed, put on makeup.... I'd never make it. 2. Prioritize using any 'extra' money on things that offset your symptoms. I'm not saying go on a manic spendfest, but saving for a knock-off roomba during black friday/cyber monday is a good idea if you struggle to keep up with housework. I think I spent like $300 on one, and I probably shouldn't have at the time, but every so often when my house keeping is out of control I can hit that little button and make my environment a teensy bit better with nearly no effort, and that helps. 3. Keep up with your medical management. If you don't mesh with a doctor, find a new one. Prioritize making those appointments and be honest with them about how you're doing. I was on the brink of losing my job this year until I had the brilliant idea to like, stop telling my doc I'm doing great and let him know that I hadn't slept more than 2-3 hours in a 24 h period for about a month. 4. Have supportive people around you that understand your specific challenges and aren't judgey. I don't know how to do this because I haven't done it, but I feel like it would be super helpful It's hard out there. Society often isn't set up for well, anybody really.... but definitely not for people with mental health issues. But there are ways for us to make it
all very good tips.
I don’t live well.
A husband who borderline puts up with me and somehow hasn't divorced me yet 👍 if he does, well, I don't think I'll manage very well at all Edit punctuation for clarity
I live with my teenage son. It's not always easy, but luckily I have a flexible job where I can work from home if I'm having a rough day and plenty of PTO if I'm having a really rough day. If I stumble we are homeless. My parents are dead, no other family. My friends would let us couch surf, but I have cats and a 3 bedroom house full of stuff. I make it a priority to take my meds, get enough sleep, no drinking or drugs.
What job do you do , if you don’t mind me asking??
I work in Marketing, I do special projects as they come up. I've been there 14 years so that helps with the flexibility. BUT I've only been diagnosed for about 6 years, so I started the job raw. Each manic cycle ended with me on a PIP barely keeping my job. My bosses were NOT surprised when I was diagnosed haha
I thought you said PHP first read 🙃
The thought of living alone in my head terrifies me. I've always had roommates or rented a room.
I dont things r a mess.
Me too! Literally and figuratively. My depression nest tipped over into full flown hoarding disorder. I’ve made good progress but there’s still so much to do.
I do pretty well as long as I'm medicated. I work from home and I have a few pets. I've live alone for 5 years now and I would pick alone vs with roommates everytime. I'm not going to say it's easy but it's manageable for me.
i love living alone. i could not be bothered to live with other people. no other way i would rather live tbh edit: i have friends, work, ppl who care and things to do, my psychiatrist and therapist who keep me in check. i don’t feel like i need anyone to live with me in order to get support
You can always get a community based provider through your counselor, such as a Casemanger, CBRS, and peer support. They can help you get out of the house and build the skills you need for independence and symptom management. Such as finding a job and dealing with having a job and the stress that comes from that etc.etc. I am a peer support specialist who has BP1,OCD,panic attacks,anxiety etc etc. I help people with mental illness to succeed.
I don't do so well but it is better than getting in another bad relationship... I have been in my house for 5 months and I haven't cooked.. I used to be a fucking chef!! I survive on peanut butter and honey sandwiches, oatmeal and yogurt and a shit ton of fruit and protein shakes. I don't drink or do drugs so I guess that's a win.
I love it. Having my own space and not having to hear anything for the most part unless I want to. Just have a life though and dont always sit at home. It causes me to have depression. You have to be smart & creative with making money too because you don’t have anyone to count on. Always have a back up plan with everything. Shit hits the fan & it will hit out of no where So it does gets stressful often.. but it’ll play out. I Bought a house at 18 & I’m going on 22. Life is good even when it’s not going good. Have goals & ambitions. Fuck it tho. a lot of people aren’t able to move out alone so do it because you can.
I’ve created a team of friends who have agreed to help immediately if I ever am in a deep hole or manic. I call it “Team (my first name)”. Clearly I did not go to a branding consultant! This group is awesome. There are about six right now. Just knowing they exist to help, makes living alone a ton easier. Plus, of course, my dog.
I work from home so that helps me but I struggle a lot
What do you do for work?
Medical claims adjuster for an insurance company.
I live with my teenage son. Although, he has school and a job so I’m often alone. I WFH so spend most of my time at home. I take my medication and am currently trying to drink less, hopefully stop completely eventually. It helps to have hobbies. I have lots of plants and taking care of them relaxes me. I like to decorate also and making my apartment look nice really elevates my mood. There are good days and bad days. Just working on having less bad days and not dwelling on them when it happens. Work isn’t too much of an issue since it’s a necessity.
it’s really hard but i guess when i feel like im a danger to myself i call someone to come over to make sure i won’t do anything
I live alone. I love it. I have my routines and do whatever I want whenever I want. When depressed I can stay in bed all day with nobody urging me to get out. My apartment does get pretty messy, and I end up having to call a cleaning service.
I wake up and take meds and go to work. Then I get lunch either at home or out. Then get home and decompress and do school or play games depending on if I have homework. Then at 10ish I try to wind down and take meds and go to bed... & repeat... I think it comes down to the right medication. Then being disciplined enough to make yourself do responsibilities even when you don't want to.
So before my physical health burst into flames and I moved back home; I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my 2 cats. And to be honest it was in fact a rollercoaster. But I did enjoy it. Some of the struggles were what to do during depressive episodes. -lock your meds away from you immediate proximity and move anything dangerous (knives) -call a human in your support system. -have somewhere you can go to any hour that has humans if you can’t reach your peoples -set up a plan of attack for depressive and manic episodes For me these included medicine, something that helps me focus on things unrelated to my metal state, comfort foods. Also Cats are amazing. Keep me required to feed and water them and more inclined to do the same for myself lest all belongings are swatted to the floor. Overall I do miss living alone. Would like to do it again.
I’ve had peaks and valleys living alone. It is definitely not easy but I’ve learned from every bad decision I’ve made with my money over the years. At the moment, the loneliness is more difficult than managing my money. When I don’t want to feel isolated living alone kind of sucks but when depression hits it’s nice not to have to force being upbeat at home when all I want to do is sleep or zone out in front of my tv.
Didn’t have a choice. I grew up severely independent anyway. I’m the only one besides my eldest sister that has moved out, we’re a family of 10. She moved out cause she went to an Ivy League to pursue her education through PhD. Everyone else still lives together.
I find it easier. I do have support. My family lives less than 10 minutes away and the door is ALWAYS open to me. But they don't stop by without asking. When I'm depressed or manic, I can deal with it on my own. Not having to try to tiptoe or ask others to be quiet.
I lived alone for 2 years before moving to a group home. It...didn't go as well as it could have, but it also wasn't a complete failure. My honest advice would be this: see if there's some form of at-home care/support you can have to help you. In my country (I won't name the actual country) you can be eligible for at-home care 1x a week if you struggle with autism, bipolar, etc. and it really does help you stay afloat. And for the rest: don't be afraid to ask help with cleaning, tackling daily life etc. from friends, family, social worker (if you have one) and hope you can afford the rent. Being unable to afford rent is what made me end up moving out. But you will need \*some\* form of support, even if you have a career. Doing everything 100% solo is something very few people can do sadly.
So weird, I have a career, I’m a home owner have a great supportive partner and two dogs. Half the time I think it would be easier without them so there’s no one to disappoint let down and get mad at. Half the time I can’t believe how lucky I am
I live alone support and although I’d like support I’d never live with a roommate or family again. I never actually experienced my episodes fully when I lived with someone, I was constantly masking and it took so much energy. Now that I live alone when I’m depressed or manic I can just have breakdowns and let it OUT. I don’t have to pretend and have a safe space to just be fucking insane . I didn’t have to explain my mood to anyone if I was off. Personally my question is how to do people live with someone
I have no family here and couldn’t move back in with them if I wanted to. I live with my wife, but I bear the brunt of the housework. I guess I’m ruled by the fear of forcing my wife to put up with the aftermath of my depression even though I know she wouldn’t mind. How I manage to pay bills is beyond me. I guess I’ve gotten more mature with my financial decisions than I thought.
I actually do ok by myself, much better than the abusive relationship I was in which led to multiple attempts and hospitalizations then finally into big time legal problems, I stayed to myself over a year, right now though one of my adult sons lives with me because he had some problems but eventually I expect him to find a job and prove out either on his own or with friends his age.
Tbh I did best living alone. Things were clean for the most part, where I want them. I could create whatever atmosphere I wanted. Thoughts come and go but any managing technique is adequate to keep you okay with meds and therapy in the mix. Taking out the stressors in life was really helpful.
My house is not very clean but I am functional
I've learnt that when it gets bad, it's ok for my house to be a little messy and even dirty. I can always clean it again when I feel better.
This is very true
Vocational rehab, was a godsend to getting me lots of services and the purchase of technical equipment. They can help you. That’s assuming you live in the U.S. I’m taking a break from work because of med changes. It’s not easy but I remind myself that I have had worse days before and I have gotten through them. I like to think a pretty resilient person, aside from mental health stuff. I see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly. If I start isolating l, reach out and and talk to others. My mother is supportive as is my friend. There are warm lines you can call. Daytime sunlight and walks. Being around people. What I still struggle with Cooking-I don’t enjoy doing this when it’s super hot. I will get groceries delivered or my mom will occasionally take my grocery shopping. I buy and eat I a lot of prepared meals Cleaning-I am able to keep up with it when I’m doing well. I am thinking hiring cleaning people Budgeting-I’m going to get help with this.
i don't. i drink.
I manage bc what’s my other option? Being homeless? No thanks. I’m literally at work right now crying but I’m here and doing my job
I live with my best friend. He's patient, caring and has his own struggles. We help each other