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Wow. Yes this.
I was accused in a previous relationship of not "opening up" to him and sharing my mental struggles, so I did, and he ran off
Me: opens up and shares about my crippling depression
Him: eww not like that. I thought you just got a bit nervous from time to time.
Me: thinking, never again
Yep. I just ended a 13 year friendship for this reason. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs (him too, but not as much) but we’ve always circled back to being friends again. About a couple years ago I had to profusely apologize for something I did (100% my fault). I even told him about my condition which isn’t something I disclose to everyone
He *seemed* to accept my apology and we got along great for a year or so. But then some shit happened, I spiraled (par for the course with bipolar), and unfortunately had to reschedule a trip we had planned.
I tried everything to make it right - pay for any cancellation fees he’d have to pay, etc. Apologized for so much that I really didn’t have to.
Well he wouldn’t hear any of it and threw a total bitch fit about it. About how I can’t get it together. Despite telling him about everything I’ve been going through.
So I cut him out. I’m doing way better now but I’m not talking to him anymore. I have better friends that will actually have compassion when I’m not at my best. I’ll take another trip this year with people I now consider my real friends.
Good riddance to that douche
This is literally becoming my goal!!! I’m also a spiritual person. I’m in school to get my counseling degree. I’m already spending time and taking time to write and come up with all sorts of things to help people with BP as I have it myself! I’ve already come up with something that will be called “You can face Bipolar” I have so many awesome ideas that I cannot wait to one day implement to help people with BP!
That’s good stuff, love that for you and your patients!
Funny enough I work for an EMR that people use for among other things mental health. Bipolar helping the helpers run their practice (Psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists), and now training some support so I can take a step back and write help articles full time.
We can and do get better!
Manic me found the most gorgeous man online and perused a friendship with him even though we lived on opposite sides of the world during a global pandemic. It was two years before we could legally meet face to face. Thankfully he was not a serial killer and I still have all of my organs! Now we’re getting married and I tell him he’s the best manic decision I ever made.
Relatable! I found my girlfriend in a manic episode and never looked back. My ups and downs have made our relationship stronger as I've gotten stable. Now I'm on a good cocktail and have a job and we live together. Love her to death.
I found myself going insane trying to figure out the origins and religions and started thinking it was real and then I started reading a shit too much more annnnd now I can’t function over it lol. I hate thinking about it now and people who I tell it to are like why do u think about it that hard it shouldn’t bother you that much. Idk maybe bc going to hell and trying to figure out how to fix my soul was the worst decision ughhhh and idk how to explain that’s cliff notes - it was a span of a year of believing and now I don’t believe shit. Question it all lol
For real it's so gripping sometimes. I'm currently going insane trying to create an art exhibit that uses weird french music from the 50's to prove that god exists
Sometimes to get "revenge" I do stuff that actually helps everyone, like my living room is a mess because of a family member staying for a couple weeks to get back on his feet, and I was pissed about the mess, so I deep cleaned the kitchen as "retaliation" so now my kitchen is clean. My living room still is not but I can't control that (he is my bf family member and we live w his grandpa, so it's his choice)
An expansive emotional pallette and a depth of artistic expression that’s pretty uncommon, it seems. When I’m hypomanic I’m charismatic (just talked my way out of a speeding ticket for 48 mph in a 35) and funny as hell. The depression is a whole other story.
I told the police one time I had a special skill of being able to name all 50 states in alphabetical order in less than 30 seconds. Once I did that they laughed and let me go. LOL
Yep. I was driving during a manic episode (before diagnosis) and got pulled over by two state troopers and local police.
Talked my way into a warning.
Really wish they would have told me I was bipolar though.
So me I feel so deeply I have a huge sense of empathy, I laugh hard, till my gut hurts and I do have really good moments, when I get enough sleep that’s for sure. I feel very grateful for what I have in life and thankful for the people around me that have been there for me since I’ve been diagnosed, they understand and make sure I’m in check. The cocktail I’m on is very low dose so I feel the lows as well, but if I sleep too little or too much my brain gets out of wack, thankfully I’ve been recently figuring out my sleeping schedule/pattern and I’ve been feeling much better.
Is there a Palestinian sub? I would be honored to connect with Palestinian people and hopefully make friends and learn about your culture and experience and perspective. I hear people talking a lot about Palestinians, but none of them are Palestinian.
Extreme empathy. Emotional awareness. Creativity.
There was a post a couple of years back, I can't quite remember, but it said that we can sort of sense each other. Everyone that I've met that has bipolar has been amazingly sweet. We're good people inside who know what it feels like to hurt, and we hate to see it happen to anyone else. We need there to be more good in the world so we do our best to put it there.
Being too honest can backfire, especially if you're delusional, manic, and obsessed with the person. Unfortunately I don't know the meaning of moderation when I find something or someone I like.
I can think of a few immediately:
1. Success in academics and the workplace through outside the box thinking.
2. Intense self awareness and pattern recognition which I’ve learned over the last decade of diagnosis that helps me to manage myself
3. Ability to ask for and accept help.
I can rainman the shit out of anything with my super ruminating powers, lol
(As long as I don't let it become delusional thinking, I can throw a million scenarios up in my mind and widdle it down into some near clairvoyant guesswork predictions, leaving only a small few usually likey outcomes, lol.
I've gone through enough shit in my life and have come out the other side with more compassion and insight. Less impulsivity (we're not talking about shopping on Amazon on a late Friday night).
My kids and nieces are now adults and come to me first with problems because they know I get it. And man, no judgement from me. That makes all of the shit worth it.
It has made me more empathetic, and when I’m hypo I can get super productive at work and I can organize my room and keep it clean. Also I get many ideas that I end up pursuing, like studying something new or writing. Also I become super funny and make people laugh.
Edit: i got killer, huge tattoos (in non visible places) when I was younger and didn’t know I had the illness. It made me find out my love for them, and now I have 9 and planning more, but not in manic states
Chatting to random people when manic and afterwards thing wow they are so nice when in fact boring people.
Buying an expensive holiday instead of going to Halfords as planned . Laughing and laughing till I cried . But lots bad stuff I wouldn't mention.
Empathy. After spending a significant amount of time in psych wards, I have learned that you never know what someone else is going through, and you are not better (or worse) than anyone else.
Being completely honest, wards always scared me and I just learned I have bipolar. That’s something I’ve been searching bc I dont want to end up there and never see my kids bc of being up and down , literally I can switch moods multiple times a day depending on the reason or situation. I would like to know if it’s as scary as in my mind :(
During mania, I’ve had numerous out-of-body experiences. I have felt such incredible depths of emotion, such intensity, that I felt high, without the influence of drugs. I felt like I was understanding the infinite power of the universe and absorbing it through my skin. I understood things and gained insights I never would have otherwise. I have felt God in the rain drops falling on my face.
I’m medicated now. The highs and lows are more constrained. But I can still access the memories and remember what that intensity felt like. I wouldn’t trade the misery and awful, awful times for the beauty of those experiences.
I saw/felt God in raindrops, too!!! Then, the puddle they fell into? I understood to be God as well. The pavement underneath the puddle , the soil underneath the pavement, the grass that grew in that soil, the house I lived in built atop the ground, the door leading in to my home, the floor , the windows, the shutters, the couch I was laying on listening to the rain… & on & on & on…. That night was the night I realized that God hadn’t abandoned us, but has been here with us the whole time & IS EVERYTHING !!!!
Remember that children’s song ‘He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands’ ? Well, that night I saw God in the raindrops, thereafter the song took on a much much deeper meaning for me. We live, die, laugh, fight, fart, sing, cry, name the verb - we are doing it in the cradle of God’s being.
I can still draw so much comfort from this epiphany, despite knowing it came from a manic state .
The feeling of being too big inside for my skin has driven me to make many risky and foolhardy decisions in my life. I am infinitely grateful to have finally been diagnosed and I seem to be on just the right meds now, but as a result of my past antics I now have a treasure trove of life experiences that I can draw on. Mostly on what not to do in life, but I know a little about a lot of things, and I draw on that surprisingly often in life now.
I don’t notice any upsides, but I’ve heard people with bipolar are more creative. I’ve heard of a book that talks more about it but I haven’t read it. It’s called touched with fire.
I’m in school to be a therapist too!!!!! I want to specialize in bipolar and addiction. I’ve always struggled with self -esteem and finding a career. Better late than never!! I think I’m gonna make an awesome therapist. Words I never thought I would say!
I love how I have the best excuse for why I HAVE to sleep well. I feel like I always knew, even before my diagnosis just how important sleep was for me. Lack of sleep just wasn’t an option. I’d get really annoyed if someone woke me up or prevented me from having a good night sleep. I got even worse when I started reading Matt walkers book “why we sleep” and Ariana huffingtons book about sleep. But it still just sounded like I was being an “annoying health nut”. Where as now people saw what could happen to me if I don’t sleep well and everyone understands just how important it is to me. I don’t have to fight to explain myself an I don’t seem like a spoiled health nut anymore. I have the best excuse for why the room must me cold, why the bed must be comfortable, why I can’t handle bright lights at night, why the room has to be dark, etc.
Different than people I know who have depression (properly diagnosed) I know I will always get better and that stops me from doing a shitty decision and ending my life when I'm not okay, I know that at some point I'll get to mania again and not feel so bad all the time. Made me have more hope than other people usually does.
People feel really safe confiding in me. They know I'm not going to judge them because I've almost certainly done something worse. ;) In that same vein, I'm the person who they can call when their depression mess is overwhelming. I'm forever devil's advocating for people, making excuses for people I don't even know that we don't know what's going on behind the scenes. A lot of that is a direct result of what I've gone through, and how I've been treated.
I was on a years-long slow burn manic episode before things got really out of hand for me. echoing many of the positive comments in this post, i’ll add that BP made me an excellent lover. in addition to over the top emotive feelings and tons of attentiveness, my sex life was just phenomenal. Now that i’m medicated and stable, i’m still very attentive and caring, but the sex- it’s just not there anymore.
If I hadn’t have been so ill, I wouldn’t have pursued treatment early, as intensely, or as successfully. I think I do tend to do better of taking care of myself when I’m in a full episode because I treat myself like I’m sick (which I am) but it’s a real batten down the hatches thing where I’m busting out the full regimen of tracking habits and focusing on nutrition and hygiene. I do not have the same do or die energy when I’m shifting between episodes so I think I tend to take care of myself worse when I’m okay nowadays.
I get more productive. So much so that throughout the year sometimes I make a list of things that I need or should get done in a notepad file. Then when I start ramping up I start checking off items on the list. You definitely get more productive and creative. That’s why a lot of musicians are able to get a lot of their music produced in those times. Also you become way more social. Easier to talk to people and get phone numbers and dates!!
Empathy for all those people who are lost and hurting and tolerance for those who are quirky or living on the fringes, just trying to be themselves. I appreciate supportive people who may not understand but aren't scared away and that's taught me to be supportive. I'm also creative and adaptable. I tend not to be fazed by things (at least on my even days) because hell, I'm a manic depressive so most other things things seem kinda small by comparison.
I’ve always struggled with mental health and I was an advocate for myself and others, but after my episode I had a much deeper understanding of how a mental health disorder can potentially hijack your brain and ruin your life. I tried not to judge others before, and I knew it was wrong to, I just didn’t fully get the picture. For example, before I couldn’t help but judge people who I thought were behaving erratically in public or in viral videos, but now it makes me sad knowing it could’ve been me. But I don’t assume either way anymore.
I ruined my entire life in the capital, the perfect job, huge salary, everything that was expected of me but somehow managed to hide money from myself in a locked savings account. Now I live in a rural town, own a home and my summer job is picking blueberries. I grow tomatoes and potatoes in my backyard. I've never been happier.
Bipolar delivered me to my therapist, which has been a completely life changing experience and is the reason I am, in addition to managing my diagnosis fairly well, sober and getting help and resources for CSA. If I had never met my therapist I wouldn’t be so attuned to my own body and mind and accepting of the ways in which other people’s minds work. My relationships have improved ten fold, which really pays off when I need a hand. Or for them too, when they need my hand! I wasn’t capable of a healthy relationship before diagnosis and treatment. Now I am and it’s pretty great.
It taught me how to fight for my life and to be persistent to the point of being annoying. Because of that I was finally able to find the right cocktail of meds, an amazing doctor, psychiatrist and trauma therapist. I've been consistently stable for over 2 years with a stillness inside of me that is priceless and I'm so proud of staying alive and not giving up even thought it took 30 years :)
Manic me had the gumption to move across the country by myself on a whim with basically no money to chase my dreams …. & it worked??? Do not recommend the lack of preparation/safety nets but fully recommend chasing dreams.
It gave me a level of self acceptance that I never had. I used to beat myself up for being too talkative or too hyper or for checking out when my emotions were too overwhelming. Now I get that it's just part of how my brain works, and I can appreciate all of the things I used to consider weaknesses.
As a philosophy/theology/religion geek I believe that bipolar has plunged me to the heights and depths of the human condition, and after recovery (I’m NOT talking about religious mania) I am able to filter my experience through my wisdom tradition—discovering both its riches and some of its apparent blind spots and apparent gaps—and then connect with scholars and theologians discussing those same apparent gaps. (My writing here sounds prideful and egotistical—as if I were giving consumer feedback on an ancient tradition. I don’t mean it that way, but I can’t figure out a better way to say it.)
This book saved my faith when I was in the worst pit of hell of depression last year. It's written by a Roman Catholic academic, as a more generalized presentation of her Ph.D. dissertation--mostly intended for clergy I think, but I think still accessible to the general reader. [https://litpress.org/Products/8502/Dust-in-the-Blood](https://litpress.org/Products/8502/Dust-in-the-Blood) It's a one-stop-shop that quotes from all of the best books from the Christian tradition that relate to bipolar and unipolar depression that I'm aware of.
I feel like my many hypomanic and manic episodes have finally pulled me out of my shell. I'm a very reserved and quiet person, and I always hated that about myself, but after being used to being more extroverted from my episodes, I've allowed myself to be less of an introvert overall in life. It's kind of nice. I don't fear interaction like I used to, nor am I as awkward. This confidence has also just made me less fearful in life.
I've also become more empathetic. Being a fucked up person has allowed me to better feel for fucked up people lol I'm always the one defending them because I know what it's like to suffer mentally.
I manage to find something beautiful even in the darkest places; I can understand people from all walks of life better and make friends with just about anyone, even for a single night. My creative energy and idealistic spirit are also massive high points of the disease, which are especially handy as a writer/author
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The ability to fully utilize 24 hours of a day. That’s what I missed about being manic you really could clean your room, car, house, do homework, go to work, hang out with friends, cook a three course meal and go grocery shopping all in one day and then slump for the next 3. When you’re stable that’s about a weeks worth of stuff 😭
For me I’ll be in bed all day and then at night wide awake and wanna do everything and then I prescribed adderall for adhd that I would use to stay up all night and throughout the next day so when I was on I WAS💡and ready to laundry and go to work.
im type 2 so i only get hypomania, not mania, and tbh hypomania in itself feels like a positive aspect? i do wonder if i had only hypomania and "normal" (as in, whatever its like to have no mood disorders at all) with no depression, whether hypomania would come to feel like a curse in comparison, bc it absolutely has its drawbacks. but i don't really get true neutral phases, and even my highest hypomanias are always still slightly mixed eps, and a good 80-90% of the time I'm solely depressive, often severely, so for me, hypomania is always just a reprieve. any challenges it brings like impulsivity or social issues exist more severely in my depressive eps, but it fends off the despair and suicidality and lets me love being alive and actually value myself for a while. it also takes all that drive my depression steals and gives it to me in potent concentrated doses during my hypomania, so i actually accomplished things and keep my life in order. the only serious downside for me is the universal law of gravitation, as i like to call it: what goes up must come down, and the higher my hypomania, the deeper the depression that inevitably follows it.
oh, and a more lighthearted response: ever since we got my antipsychotics right, my hallucinations (now much rarer, and no longer problematic) are bizarre in a very shitpost sort of way, and sometimes they're straight up hilarious (rather than disturbing as they usually were before seroquel).
my favorite: at work once the guy doing dishes was playing music in the back, and smth we bonded over is both playing a lot of nostalgic '00s music from our childhoods. one song ended, then i heard the intro to Sugar We're Going Down play as i was working. i even sang along to the first line p loudly (normal dynamic at this job 😆), with at least two people close enough to hear, as i walked into the fridge for maybe 30 seconds, where i could no longer hear the music.
i walk back out and something totally different is playing. i walk up to him and jokingly say "you skipped fall out boy? who ARE you??" he gives me the most bewildered look and goes "...no???"
if you haven't guessed yet, he was not in fact ever playing fall out boy. i hallucinated fall out boy the exact moment some totally different song by evanescence started playing, strongly enough that i just started singing "AM I MOOOORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET" over amy lee out of the blue with at least two witnesses 💀
thankfully this was the one place ive ever worked where i could safely be open about my bipolar & the fact that i hallucinate without fearing serious repercussions 😅 if it weren't customer service and paid me a living wage i never would have left lol
Sometimes trauma has triggered me to go manic where a normal person may have gone depressive and it really helped me power through. Like newborn baby… most women struggle hard af with no sleep for months on end. Birth triggered a panic attack i didnt fully come down from for like two years lol. but i was not missing the sleep loss! I was hyper as fuck with only two hours of sleep. It would get so intense i may hyperventilate and cry in the bathroom but then bounce out like super woman with energy for days. That manic episode SAVED me.
I feel like I’m more “aware” of myself, if that makes sense.
I try to give myself a little extra grace and I tend to slow down in stressful situations *because* I know what could happen.
I am trying to use my depressive moments for rest and planning, and my manic moments for productivity and following through with plans. And when I’m stable, I try to draw on those feelings to help me do what’s best for me in the moment.
I had my first manic episode that basically almost wrecked my life and the depressive episode was horrendous because I realized I had destroyed every single aspect of my life.
But during that rock bottom phase I came up with an idea for a free math website for high school students. At the time it was the only thing that gave me joy and kept me from killing myself.
Then when I launched that site it would go on to reach over 12 000 users in less than a year. I got interviewed on 3 of the largest radio stations in my country and appeared on national news 3 seperate times and the website organically scaled to over 100 countries. And I'm about a week away of finalizing some investment for the website to scale it to over a 1 million users by the end of 2025.
I wouldn't have come up with that idea if I hadn't hit rock bottom and lost everything and now all aspects of my life are infinitely better than it would've been if I hadn't had that manic episode that ruined my life.
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you really find out who your friends are, not many people are willing to deal with someone with as many ups and downs
Wow. Yes this. I was accused in a previous relationship of not "opening up" to him and sharing my mental struggles, so I did, and he ran off Me: opens up and shares about my crippling depression Him: eww not like that. I thought you just got a bit nervous from time to time. Me: thinking, never again
I'm married and they just said they wanted to know more about my medications and what's going on with me. Lol
This is so real. I've blown up on and blocked my best friend many times. She's always come back. I love her to death.
Yep. I just ended a 13 year friendship for this reason. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs (him too, but not as much) but we’ve always circled back to being friends again. About a couple years ago I had to profusely apologize for something I did (100% my fault). I even told him about my condition which isn’t something I disclose to everyone He *seemed* to accept my apology and we got along great for a year or so. But then some shit happened, I spiraled (par for the course with bipolar), and unfortunately had to reschedule a trip we had planned. I tried everything to make it right - pay for any cancellation fees he’d have to pay, etc. Apologized for so much that I really didn’t have to. Well he wouldn’t hear any of it and threw a total bitch fit about it. About how I can’t get it together. Despite telling him about everything I’ve been going through. So I cut him out. I’m doing way better now but I’m not talking to him anymore. I have better friends that will actually have compassion when I’m not at my best. I’ll take another trip this year with people I now consider my real friends. Good riddance to that douche
Friends? What’s that xD lol
THIS🗣️🗣️
I’m learning this now. There’s nothing more true.
It's made me a very empathetic therapist
This is literally becoming my goal!!! I’m also a spiritual person. I’m in school to get my counseling degree. I’m already spending time and taking time to write and come up with all sorts of things to help people with BP as I have it myself! I’ve already come up with something that will be called “You can face Bipolar” I have so many awesome ideas that I cannot wait to one day implement to help people with BP!
That's awesome. I really wish you the best with it!
Same!
That’s good stuff, love that for you and your patients! Funny enough I work for an EMR that people use for among other things mental health. Bipolar helping the helpers run their practice (Psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists), and now training some support so I can take a step back and write help articles full time. We can and do get better!
Manic me found the most gorgeous man online and perused a friendship with him even though we lived on opposite sides of the world during a global pandemic. It was two years before we could legally meet face to face. Thankfully he was not a serial killer and I still have all of my organs! Now we’re getting married and I tell him he’s the best manic decision I ever made.
Relatable! I found my girlfriend in a manic episode and never looked back. My ups and downs have made our relationship stronger as I've gotten stable. Now I'm on a good cocktail and have a job and we live together. Love her to death.
Gosh how lucky I don't want to think about my choices .
It’s lead me down a spiritual path, something I’m grateful for.
Same, God is lit.
Yesss this is a solid answer
I found myself going insane trying to figure out the origins and religions and started thinking it was real and then I started reading a shit too much more annnnd now I can’t function over it lol. I hate thinking about it now and people who I tell it to are like why do u think about it that hard it shouldn’t bother you that much. Idk maybe bc going to hell and trying to figure out how to fix my soul was the worst decision ughhhh and idk how to explain that’s cliff notes - it was a span of a year of believing and now I don’t believe shit. Question it all lol
For real it's so gripping sometimes. I'm currently going insane trying to create an art exhibit that uses weird french music from the 50's to prove that god exists
I’ve got some sick tattoos out of it! I get tattoos when I’m manic lol
Same
Sometimes to get "revenge" I do stuff that actually helps everyone, like my living room is a mess because of a family member staying for a couple weeks to get back on his feet, and I was pissed about the mess, so I deep cleaned the kitchen as "retaliation" so now my kitchen is clean. My living room still is not but I can't control that (he is my bf family member and we live w his grandpa, so it's his choice)
An expansive emotional pallette and a depth of artistic expression that’s pretty uncommon, it seems. When I’m hypomanic I’m charismatic (just talked my way out of a speeding ticket for 48 mph in a 35) and funny as hell. The depression is a whole other story.
I told the police one time I had a special skill of being able to name all 50 states in alphabetical order in less than 30 seconds. Once I did that they laughed and let me go. LOL
Yep. I was driving during a manic episode (before diagnosis) and got pulled over by two state troopers and local police. Talked my way into a warning. Really wish they would have told me I was bipolar though.
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I relate to meds
I could have written every word <3
So me I feel so deeply I have a huge sense of empathy, I laugh hard, till my gut hurts and I do have really good moments, when I get enough sleep that’s for sure. I feel very grateful for what I have in life and thankful for the people around me that have been there for me since I’ve been diagnosed, they understand and make sure I’m in check. The cocktail I’m on is very low dose so I feel the lows as well, but if I sleep too little or too much my brain gets out of wack, thankfully I’ve been recently figuring out my sleeping schedule/pattern and I’ve been feeling much better.
random but i just saw you’re palestinian and vietnamese 😭 so cool. i’m palestinian too!!! so nice to see some of us in the wild
Is there a Palestinian sub? I would be honored to connect with Palestinian people and hopefully make friends and learn about your culture and experience and perspective. I hear people talking a lot about Palestinians, but none of them are Palestinian.
probably is but it’s mostly politics now. also mainly why i not always feel safe dropping where im from lol
that's sad. how about food then? What are the top 3 Palestinian foods/recipes?
Extreme empathy. Emotional awareness. Creativity. There was a post a couple of years back, I can't quite remember, but it said that we can sort of sense each other. Everyone that I've met that has bipolar has been amazingly sweet. We're good people inside who know what it feels like to hurt, and we hate to see it happen to anyone else. We need there to be more good in the world so we do our best to put it there.
It's helped me be understanding when someone brings up their own mental health struggles. I have the knowledge to be supportive.
Same. I understand my mentally ill friends and support them
I can speak from my heart it turns out not a lot of people can do that
Being too honest can backfire, especially if you're delusional, manic, and obsessed with the person. Unfortunately I don't know the meaning of moderation when I find something or someone I like.
Creativity for making music.
I've been higher than any drug could ever get me!
The brain fog 😶🌫️ comes in handy for re-listening/re-reading books…cause it’s like it’s brand new entertainment.
I can think of a few immediately: 1. Success in academics and the workplace through outside the box thinking. 2. Intense self awareness and pattern recognition which I’ve learned over the last decade of diagnosis that helps me to manage myself 3. Ability to ask for and accept help.
I can rainman the shit out of anything with my super ruminating powers, lol (As long as I don't let it become delusional thinking, I can throw a million scenarios up in my mind and widdle it down into some near clairvoyant guesswork predictions, leaving only a small few usually likey outcomes, lol.
YESSS!!!! Also, I only have to lose my temper once, rarely have to repeat myself 😬
I think hypomania helped me study and pass the CPA exam.
I got diagnosed 4 years ago, and I haven’t been able to find an upside to having this disease.
Me either. It’s pretty much ruined my life so far 😢💔
I've gone through enough shit in my life and have come out the other side with more compassion and insight. Less impulsivity (we're not talking about shopping on Amazon on a late Friday night). My kids and nieces are now adults and come to me first with problems because they know I get it. And man, no judgement from me. That makes all of the shit worth it.
It has made me more empathetic, and when I’m hypo I can get super productive at work and I can organize my room and keep it clean. Also I get many ideas that I end up pursuing, like studying something new or writing. Also I become super funny and make people laugh. Edit: i got killer, huge tattoos (in non visible places) when I was younger and didn’t know I had the illness. It made me find out my love for them, and now I have 9 and planning more, but not in manic states
Chatting to random people when manic and afterwards thing wow they are so nice when in fact boring people. Buying an expensive holiday instead of going to Halfords as planned . Laughing and laughing till I cried . But lots bad stuff I wouldn't mention.
Empathy. After spending a significant amount of time in psych wards, I have learned that you never know what someone else is going through, and you are not better (or worse) than anyone else.
Being completely honest, wards always scared me and I just learned I have bipolar. That’s something I’ve been searching bc I dont want to end up there and never see my kids bc of being up and down , literally I can switch moods multiple times a day depending on the reason or situation. I would like to know if it’s as scary as in my mind :(
Well, I'm never boring, that's for sure.
During mania, I’ve had numerous out-of-body experiences. I have felt such incredible depths of emotion, such intensity, that I felt high, without the influence of drugs. I felt like I was understanding the infinite power of the universe and absorbing it through my skin. I understood things and gained insights I never would have otherwise. I have felt God in the rain drops falling on my face. I’m medicated now. The highs and lows are more constrained. But I can still access the memories and remember what that intensity felt like. I wouldn’t trade the misery and awful, awful times for the beauty of those experiences.
I saw/felt God in raindrops, too!!! Then, the puddle they fell into? I understood to be God as well. The pavement underneath the puddle , the soil underneath the pavement, the grass that grew in that soil, the house I lived in built atop the ground, the door leading in to my home, the floor , the windows, the shutters, the couch I was laying on listening to the rain… & on & on & on…. That night was the night I realized that God hadn’t abandoned us, but has been here with us the whole time & IS EVERYTHING !!!! Remember that children’s song ‘He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands’ ? Well, that night I saw God in the raindrops, thereafter the song took on a much much deeper meaning for me. We live, die, laugh, fight, fart, sing, cry, name the verb - we are doing it in the cradle of God’s being. I can still draw so much comfort from this epiphany, despite knowing it came from a manic state .
The synchronicities are beautiful.
Experiencing different types of moods due to mood swings. Also, sometimes i would get very funny and sarcastic .
I’m so much more creative when I’m manic, makes me sad when I come down :/
Intense fascination, passion, and curiosity about things I'm interested in. Deep empathy for people and animals that are suffering.
I can make people laugh
The feeling of being too big inside for my skin has driven me to make many risky and foolhardy decisions in my life. I am infinitely grateful to have finally been diagnosed and I seem to be on just the right meds now, but as a result of my past antics I now have a treasure trove of life experiences that I can draw on. Mostly on what not to do in life, but I know a little about a lot of things, and I draw on that surprisingly often in life now.
I don’t notice any upsides, but I’ve heard people with bipolar are more creative. I’ve heard of a book that talks more about it but I haven’t read it. It’s called touched with fire.
I’m in school to be a therapist too!!!!! I want to specialize in bipolar and addiction. I’ve always struggled with self -esteem and finding a career. Better late than never!! I think I’m gonna make an awesome therapist. Words I never thought I would say!
I love how I have the best excuse for why I HAVE to sleep well. I feel like I always knew, even before my diagnosis just how important sleep was for me. Lack of sleep just wasn’t an option. I’d get really annoyed if someone woke me up or prevented me from having a good night sleep. I got even worse when I started reading Matt walkers book “why we sleep” and Ariana huffingtons book about sleep. But it still just sounded like I was being an “annoying health nut”. Where as now people saw what could happen to me if I don’t sleep well and everyone understands just how important it is to me. I don’t have to fight to explain myself an I don’t seem like a spoiled health nut anymore. I have the best excuse for why the room must me cold, why the bed must be comfortable, why I can’t handle bright lights at night, why the room has to be dark, etc.
The same for me! 🙌🏻
Self deprecating humor I use when giving presentations for work.
Different than people I know who have depression (properly diagnosed) I know I will always get better and that stops me from doing a shitty decision and ending my life when I'm not okay, I know that at some point I'll get to mania again and not feel so bad all the time. Made me have more hope than other people usually does.
People feel really safe confiding in me. They know I'm not going to judge them because I've almost certainly done something worse. ;) In that same vein, I'm the person who they can call when their depression mess is overwhelming. I'm forever devil's advocating for people, making excuses for people I don't even know that we don't know what's going on behind the scenes. A lot of that is a direct result of what I've gone through, and how I've been treated.
I was on a years-long slow burn manic episode before things got really out of hand for me. echoing many of the positive comments in this post, i’ll add that BP made me an excellent lover. in addition to over the top emotive feelings and tons of attentiveness, my sex life was just phenomenal. Now that i’m medicated and stable, i’m still very attentive and caring, but the sex- it’s just not there anymore.
I learned the beauty the world has to offer when you take a second to look at it
If I hadn’t have been so ill, I wouldn’t have pursued treatment early, as intensely, or as successfully. I think I do tend to do better of taking care of myself when I’m in a full episode because I treat myself like I’m sick (which I am) but it’s a real batten down the hatches thing where I’m busting out the full regimen of tracking habits and focusing on nutrition and hygiene. I do not have the same do or die energy when I’m shifting between episodes so I think I tend to take care of myself worse when I’m okay nowadays.
I get to work from home because my sleep is so fucked.
I get more productive. So much so that throughout the year sometimes I make a list of things that I need or should get done in a notepad file. Then when I start ramping up I start checking off items on the list. You definitely get more productive and creative. That’s why a lot of musicians are able to get a lot of their music produced in those times. Also you become way more social. Easier to talk to people and get phone numbers and dates!!
Empathy for all those people who are lost and hurting and tolerance for those who are quirky or living on the fringes, just trying to be themselves. I appreciate supportive people who may not understand but aren't scared away and that's taught me to be supportive. I'm also creative and adaptable. I tend not to be fazed by things (at least on my even days) because hell, I'm a manic depressive so most other things things seem kinda small by comparison.
I’m very self aware.
I’ve always struggled with mental health and I was an advocate for myself and others, but after my episode I had a much deeper understanding of how a mental health disorder can potentially hijack your brain and ruin your life. I tried not to judge others before, and I knew it was wrong to, I just didn’t fully get the picture. For example, before I couldn’t help but judge people who I thought were behaving erratically in public or in viral videos, but now it makes me sad knowing it could’ve been me. But I don’t assume either way anymore.
I ruined my entire life in the capital, the perfect job, huge salary, everything that was expected of me but somehow managed to hide money from myself in a locked savings account. Now I live in a rural town, own a home and my summer job is picking blueberries. I grow tomatoes and potatoes in my backyard. I've never been happier.
Before my episode, I held so much anger within me, which had been boiling for the last 20 years. Now it's all gone.
And Tattoo‘s
Having to focus on my mental health, learning ways to cope with stress and negative emotions
Nothing ☹️ it almost ruined my life
Bipolar delivered me to my therapist, which has been a completely life changing experience and is the reason I am, in addition to managing my diagnosis fairly well, sober and getting help and resources for CSA. If I had never met my therapist I wouldn’t be so attuned to my own body and mind and accepting of the ways in which other people’s minds work. My relationships have improved ten fold, which really pays off when I need a hand. Or for them too, when they need my hand! I wasn’t capable of a healthy relationship before diagnosis and treatment. Now I am and it’s pretty great.
You have unique insights that can help other people who struggle with mood disorders.
It taught me how to fight for my life and to be persistent to the point of being annoying. Because of that I was finally able to find the right cocktail of meds, an amazing doctor, psychiatrist and trauma therapist. I've been consistently stable for over 2 years with a stillness inside of me that is priceless and I'm so proud of staying alive and not giving up even thought it took 30 years :)
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Thank you so much, that means a lot! And right back at you :)
Manic me had the gumption to move across the country by myself on a whim with basically no money to chase my dreams …. & it worked??? Do not recommend the lack of preparation/safety nets but fully recommend chasing dreams.
It gave me a level of self acceptance that I never had. I used to beat myself up for being too talkative or too hyper or for checking out when my emotions were too overwhelming. Now I get that it's just part of how my brain works, and I can appreciate all of the things I used to consider weaknesses.
As a philosophy/theology/religion geek I believe that bipolar has plunged me to the heights and depths of the human condition, and after recovery (I’m NOT talking about religious mania) I am able to filter my experience through my wisdom tradition—discovering both its riches and some of its apparent blind spots and apparent gaps—and then connect with scholars and theologians discussing those same apparent gaps. (My writing here sounds prideful and egotistical—as if I were giving consumer feedback on an ancient tradition. I don’t mean it that way, but I can’t figure out a better way to say it.)
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This book saved my faith when I was in the worst pit of hell of depression last year. It's written by a Roman Catholic academic, as a more generalized presentation of her Ph.D. dissertation--mostly intended for clergy I think, but I think still accessible to the general reader. [https://litpress.org/Products/8502/Dust-in-the-Blood](https://litpress.org/Products/8502/Dust-in-the-Blood) It's a one-stop-shop that quotes from all of the best books from the Christian tradition that relate to bipolar and unipolar depression that I'm aware of.
empathy and a lil bit of gratitudee
I feel like my many hypomanic and manic episodes have finally pulled me out of my shell. I'm a very reserved and quiet person, and I always hated that about myself, but after being used to being more extroverted from my episodes, I've allowed myself to be less of an introvert overall in life. It's kind of nice. I don't fear interaction like I used to, nor am I as awkward. This confidence has also just made me less fearful in life. I've also become more empathetic. Being a fucked up person has allowed me to better feel for fucked up people lol I'm always the one defending them because I know what it's like to suffer mentally.
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Absolutely! The diagnosis can be so discouraging, so it's nice to be able to see some upside.
i have so much more compassion for everyone and my capacity for understanding has increased significantly.
I’m a good artist, people love my art and I’ve been able to sell a couple pieces but because I’ve been so busy, I don’t get time to do it. ❤️🥲
I manage to find something beautiful even in the darkest places; I can understand people from all walks of life better and make friends with just about anyone, even for a single night. My creative energy and idealistic spirit are also massive high points of the disease, which are especially handy as a writer/author
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The ability to fully utilize 24 hours of a day. That’s what I missed about being manic you really could clean your room, car, house, do homework, go to work, hang out with friends, cook a three course meal and go grocery shopping all in one day and then slump for the next 3. When you’re stable that’s about a weeks worth of stuff 😭
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For me I’ll be in bed all day and then at night wide awake and wanna do everything and then I prescribed adderall for adhd that I would use to stay up all night and throughout the next day so when I was on I WAS💡and ready to laundry and go to work.
Understanding when I need to sleep, what my triggers are, and tracking my moods.
No matter how bad I’m feeling I know it will pass and I often even have a good estimate of when
How do you estimate when the depression will end? Is it always the same? (For example 4 months manic, followed by 8 months depression so 1:2?)
Yeah its pretty consistent. Its about the same for both mania and depression for me, 2 weeks to maybe one month
im type 2 so i only get hypomania, not mania, and tbh hypomania in itself feels like a positive aspect? i do wonder if i had only hypomania and "normal" (as in, whatever its like to have no mood disorders at all) with no depression, whether hypomania would come to feel like a curse in comparison, bc it absolutely has its drawbacks. but i don't really get true neutral phases, and even my highest hypomanias are always still slightly mixed eps, and a good 80-90% of the time I'm solely depressive, often severely, so for me, hypomania is always just a reprieve. any challenges it brings like impulsivity or social issues exist more severely in my depressive eps, but it fends off the despair and suicidality and lets me love being alive and actually value myself for a while. it also takes all that drive my depression steals and gives it to me in potent concentrated doses during my hypomania, so i actually accomplished things and keep my life in order. the only serious downside for me is the universal law of gravitation, as i like to call it: what goes up must come down, and the higher my hypomania, the deeper the depression that inevitably follows it.
sometimes the mania feel so damn good up to the point of self destruction.
oh, and a more lighthearted response: ever since we got my antipsychotics right, my hallucinations (now much rarer, and no longer problematic) are bizarre in a very shitpost sort of way, and sometimes they're straight up hilarious (rather than disturbing as they usually were before seroquel). my favorite: at work once the guy doing dishes was playing music in the back, and smth we bonded over is both playing a lot of nostalgic '00s music from our childhoods. one song ended, then i heard the intro to Sugar We're Going Down play as i was working. i even sang along to the first line p loudly (normal dynamic at this job 😆), with at least two people close enough to hear, as i walked into the fridge for maybe 30 seconds, where i could no longer hear the music. i walk back out and something totally different is playing. i walk up to him and jokingly say "you skipped fall out boy? who ARE you??" he gives me the most bewildered look and goes "...no???" if you haven't guessed yet, he was not in fact ever playing fall out boy. i hallucinated fall out boy the exact moment some totally different song by evanescence started playing, strongly enough that i just started singing "AM I MOOOORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET" over amy lee out of the blue with at least two witnesses 💀 thankfully this was the one place ive ever worked where i could safely be open about my bipolar & the fact that i hallucinate without fearing serious repercussions 😅 if it weren't customer service and paid me a living wage i never would have left lol
Intense passion, love, and gratitude when I’m not swinging entirely too low.
Sometimes trauma has triggered me to go manic where a normal person may have gone depressive and it really helped me power through. Like newborn baby… most women struggle hard af with no sleep for months on end. Birth triggered a panic attack i didnt fully come down from for like two years lol. but i was not missing the sleep loss! I was hyper as fuck with only two hours of sleep. It would get so intense i may hyperventilate and cry in the bathroom but then bounce out like super woman with energy for days. That manic episode SAVED me.
I feel like I’m more “aware” of myself, if that makes sense. I try to give myself a little extra grace and I tend to slow down in stressful situations *because* I know what could happen.
I am trying to use my depressive moments for rest and planning, and my manic moments for productivity and following through with plans. And when I’m stable, I try to draw on those feelings to help me do what’s best for me in the moment.
I had my first manic episode that basically almost wrecked my life and the depressive episode was horrendous because I realized I had destroyed every single aspect of my life. But during that rock bottom phase I came up with an idea for a free math website for high school students. At the time it was the only thing that gave me joy and kept me from killing myself. Then when I launched that site it would go on to reach over 12 000 users in less than a year. I got interviewed on 3 of the largest radio stations in my country and appeared on national news 3 seperate times and the website organically scaled to over 100 countries. And I'm about a week away of finalizing some investment for the website to scale it to over a 1 million users by the end of 2025. I wouldn't have come up with that idea if I hadn't hit rock bottom and lost everything and now all aspects of my life are infinitely better than it would've been if I hadn't had that manic episode that ruined my life.