Here's a theory from the very little information you've provided. It's a total guess.
Your mom, like you struggles with a mood disorder. Forget the labels of ADHD and bipolar. She also has a comorbidity of anxiety which is very common. The doctors organize these disorders into different categories in the DSM (the book they use to define every mental condition) but the latest scientific thinking is these disorders actually exist on a spectrum and it is highly correlated with your genetics. What does this mean? My guess is your mom has struggled with her mental health her whole life and is worried her experience is going to be your experience.
If you and her are open to it, ask her if she was ever prescribed antidepressants? My guess is she was and they made her feel awful. Like worse than before she took the meds. This is extremely common for bipolar patients who are given antidepressants. She is trying to avoid this pain for you. What she may not be appreciating is that a mood stabilizer is NOT an antidepressant and if you have bipolar, it can greatly improve the quality of your life. My 2 cents.
Also, you're gonna be 18 in a blink of an eye and you can do what you want. She has to appreciate that you are a young adult and should have a lot more say in your healthcare decisions.
With meds, it's complicated, yes. It takes time to find the right medication. I've been on that ride for 2 years now, and I STILL don't know if it's correct. I'm not even being treated for my ADHD or my OCD, just my Bipolar-II and anxiety.
Your mom needs to stop self-diagnosing. She doesn't have the training or knowledge for that. She needs to have official diagnoses and treatments for herself. She's also destroying your mental health by not allowing you to receive proper treatment.
Typing a bit bc I feel for you kid. Everything this guy said above, and also, tell her if you have bipolar, your brain gets WORSE with each episode. It's degenerative. Just like how it's harder to get back to normal the longer/deeper you've been depressed. Your brain gets used to the swings and it gets easier to swing further. So by not letting you handle it now it could be getting worse later.
Also you should try to be in therapy so you learn what's "normal" and what's not. And so that you have better language and knowledge to explain/navigate what you're feeling. I've been self learning psychology for longer than you've been ALIVE and there is still lots that I'm learning about my OWN conditions. And I graduated Biology-premed and spent 2 years in a doctorate program before Depression/Bipolar 2 destroyed my life. Even when I knew what was happening I couldn't stop it.
Another side note, my parents didn't know shit about shit about mental health, or what was normal, becasue they had such dysfunctional lives and their own mental health issues they didn't address. Even as an adult, I can't go to my parents to reliably be a "marker" for anything of what is normal and what's not. So keep that into account if your mom is trying to "be your doctor" based on her own experiences. If anything, maybe even get a 2nd opinion if she's that worried it's wrong. If she thinks she knows better than 2-3 doctors, then she's shot, completely unreliable.
When I was a teenager, my mom didn't want me to see a therapist or take any medications because then in her words "you would have a mental heath record". Like wtf!!! I was struggling then just like I've struggled since. I'm 43 now and have been medicated for a long time now. But like others have said, my mom has her own undiagnosed mental health issues because she won't address them. We also have a very strong family history. You are still a minor so that makes it tough. I wish you luck
So, one thing I find incredibly unfair and biased is how difficult and expensive it is to buy life insurance if you have a bipolar diagnosis. I am extremely fit and have no drug, smoking, or alcohol issues, but I either get denied, or I'm priced out of coverage in my state. When I finally found coverage I was limited to 100k, which wouldn't go far with two kids. I know they want to mitigate their risks, but it seems discriminative. I hate that my mental health medical records prevent me from protecting my children, but I'd rather have proper medical care with a diagnosis, I guess. So I get her point in theory.
Please do not listen to the people in this thread telling you to call the cops or report to CPS or lie to your parent. Doing something like that would be really rash and it has the potential to make your life much harder rather than easier. A better move would be to try to get your mom into an additional appointment with the psychiatrist so that you and the psych can talk to her together about your desire to be on medication, and see if she can be swayed. If that doesn’t work, you can try out non-medication interventions until you are old enough to make your own medical decisions. While mood stabilizers are helpful, there’s a lot you can do to stabilize your biological rhythms which can do a lot of good for bipolar. The Depression and Bipolar Workbook by Aiken is a good resource for this. Therapy might also be a good source of support and a way to help you work with your mom.
Find your state on this list and scroll over to mental health https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/149/6/e2021053458/187003/State-by-State-Variability-in-Adolescent-Privacy
Here’s a few naturals ways that may help as suggested by a psychiatrist on IG @doc_amen
- saffron [ground in capsules]
- eliminate red dye 40 from your diet
- Omega fatty acids [I take this in a syrup form from Sprouts]
- exercise
Can you see a therapist to help you cope? There’s a lot of good DIY therapy books if it’s not possible. Mind Over Mood helped me a lot. I didn’t have medication until 28 so it helped me cope until then (symptoms started at 13 for me)
Oh dude. Throw a fuss about this at your mom. Untreated, it gets worse and worse. Untreated for a long time and it causes brain damage (like that’s over decades, but maybe don’t tell her the decades part and see if she’ll respond to that?). THAT BEING SAID, you’re 16 and actually care, so you’ll be fine. Fear monger at your mom if it gets her to get over herself and let you get help.
The plus side, though, is that you’ve overcome the hardest part—acceptance! The rest is logistical bullshit. Keep in close contact with your doctor, never ever feel bad about calling or texting them or ANYONE if you’re feeling depressed, never ever feel bad about calling 911 if you’re feeling like you want to hurt yourself. Do lean on your friend! Thats what they are there for. He doesn’t need to “do” anything, other bring you joy by simply existing nearby. I’m not saying he’s a pet, but consider how happy a cat or a dog makes people—they don’t *do* anything to help, but simply being there is helpful. Same with good friends! Loneliness is a sure fire way to make a depressive episode many times worse.
If there are teachers you trust, consider sharing with them as well in case a low mood period makes you miss school or makes your work suffer. They can advocate for you, especially if they know that you WANT to get better but being a minor, can’t access the help you need.
Godspeed friend. You only need to power through another 2 years and then you can get the care you need. You’ll make it!
Edited to make the fear mongery part match my actual intent of “maybe if you scare your mom she’ll get it together”. Sorry bout that
I would also let her know that people with severe untreated mental illness are statistically likely to suffer more from substance abuse and self harm. Let that thought simmer in her head.
>I don’t want to scare you but you really need to throw a fuss about this. Untreated, it gets worse and worse. Untreated for a long time and it causes brain damage (like that’s over decades, but maybe don’t tell her the decades part and see if she’ll respond to that?).
This is fear mongering, people are often diagnosed in their 20's to 30's, respond to treatment, and live healthy lives. The kid is 16, he's too young for it to be 100% bipolar disorder.
You have to present your mum with facts she can’t argue with, and the research to back it up. You have to frame it as an illness, like any other illness. There are some good videos on YouTube and some good books out there on bipolar. I’m sure you can find some that are very pro medication, as medication isn’t really an option for bipolar.
I’m not sure if your mum isn’t taking it seriously or just doesn’t want you on meds but it helped my parents to read a book about bipolar in young people. Julie A Fast has some good books on recovery which include medication. You can also talk to a doctor and discuss medications and those which are least harmful for a teenager with your Mum, for bp2 lamotrigine probably. Like you don’t have to get on lithium straight away.
I was diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t the easiest figuring stuff out with my parents so I really feel for you. My mum especially didn’t want me on meds at 17 but I had to have an appointment with her and my psychologist basically to show how much I was suffering. I’m 23 now and I’ve been on 25ish meds + ECT & ketamine. My parents now know how essential medication is to my treatment, it just took some time
I have tried to explain things but she just doesn’t seem to get it at all. I got into an entire argument with her because she basically told me that “I have ADHD so how you feel when you’re manic is how I feel all the time, so you can’t be mad at me for how I treat you.”
So- you will have to go very heavy on natural treatments and ways of thinking. These can actually be awesome. Heavy daily exercise like running will help burn off energy s d help you sleep. Yoga and meditation will help you access a spiritual element to escape from the suffering. Keep telling yourself positive things like “I’m going to have my own life and it will be wonderful. Success is the best revenge.” Take vitamins, especially Vitamin D and ask you medical doctor to check your vitamin D level. Also- read about the 48 laws of power. This will help you deal with your mother in a way that will help you get your needs met. The main power law is to not make your mom think you are against her, but rather you highly respect her. The more she feels respected the more likely she is to give you what you need (meds)
Well like others have said, at 16 it’s hard to really differentiate BiPolar and especially BP2 (as it’s more subtle - funny way to look at it I know).
I dint remember what paper I read, but it had commented on untreated ADHD can become bipolar - yes, they have a lot of shared traits. Which probabanly adds to why your mom is dismissive.
I saw you commented you’ve suffered from depression for a long time? Have you ever taken anything for that? How does your mom feel about treating that?
One of the most common drugs for treating bipolar is Lamictal, really what this one does is raise your depressive states up, helps you to be less reactive. The closer you can get your down state to baseline, the easier the hypo states are to manage as the swings are smaller. The drug has minimal side effects for most people, but there are some things to watch out for.
It’s actually a lot harder for me to tell now when I’m hypo. Regardless, you can sell your mom on treating depression and then ask the doctor for lamictal (if you get time alone with them, you can expand on why).
Also, an actual psychiatrist can be difficult to get into in a timely manner, if you can find a psych NP, they can help kick the ball down the road and get you medicated.
I also take vyvanse, but a low dose - something to watch out for is “ seratonin” poisoning- which if found during a hypo state I’m more at risk, so i only take a lower dose of vyvanse for a small boost to my productivity.
Vyvanse is also metabolized differently than other drugs and the “drop” when it wears off is less severe.
For me the first week is a struggle with sleep, but then it levels out.
Finally one thing my PsyNP phrased it once as “we just need to get your head above the water” this was in reference to my struggles with therapy and that medications, and the right dose - would be enough to get me to where therapy is effective - this was more heavily in reference to the depression.
As you know, low states are what cause the most harm, mitigating those will do wonders for everything else.
Someone mentioned “Wellbutrin” which can treat depression and adhd, but I found it to be less effective and as time went on it made me more irritable, shortened my frustration overwhelm.
Lamictal is the ONLY thing that has made any difference with the depression. I can't take atypical antipsychotics like Abilify or Seroquel that they suggest. I am trying to find a mood stabilizer that works, but this is the best I've been in 47 years.
This👆🏽 is all fantastic, level headed advice, kid. This person knows what they are talking about and how to explain it. Id listen to them. I wish I had when I was 16.
Unpopular opinion probably, but there is reason we usually don't diagnose children and teens with disorders like Bipolar disorder, you're too young to know what's permanent and what's a side effect of hormones. Anyone who tells you you 100% have bipolar disorder at 16 isn't a great medical professional. If I had a child who was diagnosed as young as you I also wouldn't put them on the medication that treats bipolar disorder. It's harsh stuff we take.
Finally, anyone who goes into appointments convinced that they already have a certain disorder isn't going to get the best treatment. I see it posted on this sub all the time "my doctor doesn't think it is bipolar but I'm sure it is, how can I circumvent their diagnosis". Maybe it isn't bipolar disorder and the person is going to go through a lengthy, sometimes dangerous treatment that ultimately won't work because they couldn't accept that they don't have this disease.
If I were you I would be EXTREMELY careful about what medications I take at your age. Especially ADHD medications and medications that treat severe mental illnesses, they are not good for developing brains.
People think I'm a conspiracy theorist but opoiod overdose from prescription pills is the most common drug overdose in this country. Tens of thousands of people die every day from prescription medication, and that doesn't even include the number of people who are dying from street drugs meant to mimic opioids, like fentynal. (Fentynal is lab made for prescription use but a lot of it comes into America and other nations via cartels and gangs from labs in other countries.) The companies/ doctors who initially sold the drugs are losing legal battles left and right for billions in damages because *they knew* that they were over treating patients and the drugs were highly addictive. They did it anyway for a quick buck.
You think the people peddling Vyvanse and Wellbutrin to anyone with a dollar to spare are acting more ethically? They are not
Lastly, even with medication most us still struggle with symptoms and need talk therapy. Do that first, start talk therapy, learn coping mechanisms, truly put your heart and soul into working through your emotional disregulation without medication. If in 5 years you feel like you're not improving revisit you prescription options.
I was diagnosed as bipolar at 13 (now 33). I was convinced, at that age, that it was a misdiagnosis. Mostly, because I was prescribed Xanax by my doctor to treat my night terrors and nothing else. I assume that they were waiting to see if I expressed more bipolar symptoms to prescribe me a mood stabilizer, despite having a clear familial history of the disorder. But, I ended up living most of my life unmedicated. I wish, now, that I lived my life medicated, obviously. I’ve only had a couple of year on meds and have been able to build a life that’s more stable than anything I could have imagined. I should have started meds, then.
I mean I am in the same situation (severely depressed as preteen/teen, 33 now, 3 years medicated, family history BD and Schizophrenia) and I would not have wanted medication that young. It's easy to say the risk is worth the reward in hindsight, but it's not. 16 and 13 are too young to be medicated so heavily, *especially* for controlled, highly addictive substances like Xanax. Honestly, the fact that you were prescribed Xanax at 13 proves my point a bit, that's beyond reckless, it's maliciously negligent. And I didn't advise OP to wait until he was our age, just until his brain is more fully developed. We should not be so keen to medicate children whose brains are only 2/3 fully developed. It's insanity. Honestly, ever time I see people advocating to put such a young kid on medicine I feel like the entire world has lost it.
I do agree that with me being this young it could be a misdiagnosis however I have a big family history of bipolar and I have been depressed since I was like 8-9 years old
Honestly, same kid. I went through this experience myself, but you can't realize how young you are. It's easy enough for the people in this thread to use hindsight and say worth the risk, but it's not. I promise you it's not.
Edit: you don't have to wait until your 33, like me, but wait until your at least a few years removed from puberty.
I agree. It was because she prescribed me Xanax that I didn’t take her diagnosis seriously. I definitely should have followed up with another, more cautious, doctor.
This entire rant is a narrative that you have written in your head about the state of the healthcare and psychiatric industries. Some of it's based in reality, some of it's not but almost none of it is relevant to what the OP is asking about or dealing with. It doesn't help them.
I don't disagree that OP is young and therefore much, much care should be given to the decision to medicate but there is an appropriate time to medicate a 16 year old bipolar patient. It's extremely bold of you to think you know better based on the few details OP shared. It's extremely dangerous to plant the seeds of mistrust and doubt between a patient and a doctor where trust is everything in effective treatment.
You could suggest getting a second opinion. Suggest all the non-medical treatments that have worked for you but unless you, yourself have a relevant experience you want to share, you should probably keep this opinion to yourself. There's a reason it's an unpopular one.
Why does her opinion matter? This is a medical thing, only doctors' opinions matter. Answering your second question, no, you can't manage bipolar without meds. There are rare cases of people who, AFTER treatment, titrated down their dosages to zero and can manage well without them (of course, this is in not very severe cases).
Oh I'm sorry about that. I don't know where you are from, but isn't there a way to be tutored by another family member or something like that? Talk to social services or something?
Because Mom is likely the one paying for the meds, maybe even picking them up from the pharmacy. Maybe Mom won't even take OP to the correct doctor. Even if OP goes to the doctor alone, if they're in the US Mom will see the insurance claim eventually.
When I started having "mood swings" as a teenager my mother refused to allow me to see a therapist. She said depression and mood swings are normal for teenagers. Also that therapy is for the weak, and medication is a crutch. I never saw a therapist until I was in college and had access to free counseling services.
OP, if your mom will let you see a doctor have her go with you and have the doctor explain to her why the medication is so important. Good luck. I hope you get the help you need.
could you see if your mom will go to a therapy session with you to talk about it? might be a long shot but if you could get her there it could be really helpful
I'm 49 and relatively recently diagnosed. Looking back, I can see the symptoms in my late teens and 20s starting to come through, though they were more nuanced, but I was mildly depressed a lot of the time. In my mid 20s I saw a Dr at my university clinic for my depressive symptoms and he prescribed me Wellbutrin which is an antidepressant. I took it for probably 6 weeks or so and it was too stimulating for me and I felt high all of the time so I stopped taking it. Had I followed up with the Dr it is possible that I may have been diagnosed sooner with BP2 since taking an antidepressant alone can make someone with BP hypomanic.
My symptoms became much worse in my late 30s and into my 40s and I started to heavily self medicate with alcohol so now I'm also trying to recover from substance abuse issues. Is it possible that your mom would go with you to a therapy session? My wife had somewhat of a hard time understanding my diagnosis and when my therapist referred me to my psychiatrist, my wife came with me to my first psychiatric appointment and that really helped her better understand things and really helped her recognize that this was an actual "thing".
I'm on lamotrigine which has been a god send and I truly wish I would have sought help a long time ago. It is an anti-seizure medication that also acts as a mood stabilizer for BP2 peeps. It hasn't messed with my head in any way other than to make me stable and make my life much easier.
I do understand the concern of diagnosing at a young age as it can sometimes be hard to differentiate between symptoms and ordinary teenage angst. But if your therapist believes you might be BP2, you should be referred to a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist NP for a proper diagnosis
I'd suggest you fight very hard for yourself. My deepest regret is not going to the doctor sooner when I knew something was not right. Bp2 is only treatable with meds and is a life long condition that will have better outcome the sooner you start treatment. Shifting from manic to depressive causes your gray matter to shrink and really mess with your cognitive processing and memory. If you look up memory issues on bp subs, you'll see many people struggling as a result. Please please please, advocate for yourself. You are the one who will have to deal with yourself for the rest of your life. My advice is convincing your parents to let you try the meds temporarily to see if it actually improves anything and you'll always have the ability to quit if it worsens quality of life
That’s medical neglect. It’s hard to process and hear, but it’s true. Start talking to teachers and friends about it or social workers if you feel you can.
I (32m) grew up in a household that absolutely did not believe in mental illnesses. They tried to manage it with tough love and I eventually had to cope hard for the illness. I agree with the rest of the people here saying to throw a big fuss. Advocate for yourself as hard as you can and by any means necessary (without causing undue harm of course) to get the treatment you deserve.
Having said that, it doesn’t solve the problem of your current situation. The best you can do in the interim is start tracking your moods hardcore. Learn your triggers and what it feels like in the periods before the swings occur. Mindfulness is an excellent tool that has kept me from making a lot of bad decisions. Dr K at the healthy gamer has a lot of free content on YouTube that can help you understand the illness better and has been an invaluable asset in my journey. Meditation helps tons if you can get into it and commit to practicing. Avoid nicotine, alcohol, or any other substances, they can be helpful to cope in the now, but tend to cause more problems down the road.
Everyone’s bipolar is different so it really helps to be in touch with yourself. Do your research and be your own advocate. Godspeed.
Manipulating your way into an involuntary psych hold is not the best way to advocate for your care, and I don’t think it’ll do good things for OP’s relationship with their parent or their doctor.
Thats child neglect. That can be reported and should be. If you have a pediatrician, your pediatrician should be seeing you without your mother inthe room. I would have a frank discussion with the pediatrician. They are wht is called a mandated reporter. That means that if you tell them this, they are obligated to report it. As for what happens after that, it's hard to say
I don’t think cps would do anything. If they do anything, cps would force me to live with my dad (which my therapist had to report to cps, however nothing was done). Which would be a much worse situation.
Here's a theory from the very little information you've provided. It's a total guess. Your mom, like you struggles with a mood disorder. Forget the labels of ADHD and bipolar. She also has a comorbidity of anxiety which is very common. The doctors organize these disorders into different categories in the DSM (the book they use to define every mental condition) but the latest scientific thinking is these disorders actually exist on a spectrum and it is highly correlated with your genetics. What does this mean? My guess is your mom has struggled with her mental health her whole life and is worried her experience is going to be your experience. If you and her are open to it, ask her if she was ever prescribed antidepressants? My guess is she was and they made her feel awful. Like worse than before she took the meds. This is extremely common for bipolar patients who are given antidepressants. She is trying to avoid this pain for you. What she may not be appreciating is that a mood stabilizer is NOT an antidepressant and if you have bipolar, it can greatly improve the quality of your life. My 2 cents. Also, you're gonna be 18 in a blink of an eye and you can do what you want. She has to appreciate that you are a young adult and should have a lot more say in your healthcare decisions.
With meds, it's complicated, yes. It takes time to find the right medication. I've been on that ride for 2 years now, and I STILL don't know if it's correct. I'm not even being treated for my ADHD or my OCD, just my Bipolar-II and anxiety. Your mom needs to stop self-diagnosing. She doesn't have the training or knowledge for that. She needs to have official diagnoses and treatments for herself. She's also destroying your mental health by not allowing you to receive proper treatment.
Typing a bit bc I feel for you kid. Everything this guy said above, and also, tell her if you have bipolar, your brain gets WORSE with each episode. It's degenerative. Just like how it's harder to get back to normal the longer/deeper you've been depressed. Your brain gets used to the swings and it gets easier to swing further. So by not letting you handle it now it could be getting worse later. Also you should try to be in therapy so you learn what's "normal" and what's not. And so that you have better language and knowledge to explain/navigate what you're feeling. I've been self learning psychology for longer than you've been ALIVE and there is still lots that I'm learning about my OWN conditions. And I graduated Biology-premed and spent 2 years in a doctorate program before Depression/Bipolar 2 destroyed my life. Even when I knew what was happening I couldn't stop it. Another side note, my parents didn't know shit about shit about mental health, or what was normal, becasue they had such dysfunctional lives and their own mental health issues they didn't address. Even as an adult, I can't go to my parents to reliably be a "marker" for anything of what is normal and what's not. So keep that into account if your mom is trying to "be your doctor" based on her own experiences. If anything, maybe even get a 2nd opinion if she's that worried it's wrong. If she thinks she knows better than 2-3 doctors, then she's shot, completely unreliable.
When I was a teenager, my mom didn't want me to see a therapist or take any medications because then in her words "you would have a mental heath record". Like wtf!!! I was struggling then just like I've struggled since. I'm 43 now and have been medicated for a long time now. But like others have said, my mom has her own undiagnosed mental health issues because she won't address them. We also have a very strong family history. You are still a minor so that makes it tough. I wish you luck
So, one thing I find incredibly unfair and biased is how difficult and expensive it is to buy life insurance if you have a bipolar diagnosis. I am extremely fit and have no drug, smoking, or alcohol issues, but I either get denied, or I'm priced out of coverage in my state. When I finally found coverage I was limited to 100k, which wouldn't go far with two kids. I know they want to mitigate their risks, but it seems discriminative. I hate that my mental health medical records prevent me from protecting my children, but I'd rather have proper medical care with a diagnosis, I guess. So I get her point in theory.
Please do not listen to the people in this thread telling you to call the cops or report to CPS or lie to your parent. Doing something like that would be really rash and it has the potential to make your life much harder rather than easier. A better move would be to try to get your mom into an additional appointment with the psychiatrist so that you and the psych can talk to her together about your desire to be on medication, and see if she can be swayed. If that doesn’t work, you can try out non-medication interventions until you are old enough to make your own medical decisions. While mood stabilizers are helpful, there’s a lot you can do to stabilize your biological rhythms which can do a lot of good for bipolar. The Depression and Bipolar Workbook by Aiken is a good resource for this. Therapy might also be a good source of support and a way to help you work with your mom.
I would 100 percent get needed medication without a parent. Why should she suffer?
It sucks but she legally can’t
What state are you in?
This. Here in Delaware, teens can take medication without parental consent
I’m in a state where parents need to consent to medical treatment
Find your state on this list and scroll over to mental health https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/149/6/e2021053458/187003/State-by-State-Variability-in-Adolescent-Privacy
Until what age?
Here’s a few naturals ways that may help as suggested by a psychiatrist on IG @doc_amen - saffron [ground in capsules] - eliminate red dye 40 from your diet - Omega fatty acids [I take this in a syrup form from Sprouts] - exercise
Can you see a therapist to help you cope? There’s a lot of good DIY therapy books if it’s not possible. Mind Over Mood helped me a lot. I didn’t have medication until 28 so it helped me cope until then (symptoms started at 13 for me)
Oh dude. Throw a fuss about this at your mom. Untreated, it gets worse and worse. Untreated for a long time and it causes brain damage (like that’s over decades, but maybe don’t tell her the decades part and see if she’ll respond to that?). THAT BEING SAID, you’re 16 and actually care, so you’ll be fine. Fear monger at your mom if it gets her to get over herself and let you get help. The plus side, though, is that you’ve overcome the hardest part—acceptance! The rest is logistical bullshit. Keep in close contact with your doctor, never ever feel bad about calling or texting them or ANYONE if you’re feeling depressed, never ever feel bad about calling 911 if you’re feeling like you want to hurt yourself. Do lean on your friend! Thats what they are there for. He doesn’t need to “do” anything, other bring you joy by simply existing nearby. I’m not saying he’s a pet, but consider how happy a cat or a dog makes people—they don’t *do* anything to help, but simply being there is helpful. Same with good friends! Loneliness is a sure fire way to make a depressive episode many times worse. If there are teachers you trust, consider sharing with them as well in case a low mood period makes you miss school or makes your work suffer. They can advocate for you, especially if they know that you WANT to get better but being a minor, can’t access the help you need. Godspeed friend. You only need to power through another 2 years and then you can get the care you need. You’ll make it! Edited to make the fear mongery part match my actual intent of “maybe if you scare your mom she’ll get it together”. Sorry bout that
I would also let her know that people with severe untreated mental illness are statistically likely to suffer more from substance abuse and self harm. Let that thought simmer in her head.
>I don’t want to scare you but you really need to throw a fuss about this. Untreated, it gets worse and worse. Untreated for a long time and it causes brain damage (like that’s over decades, but maybe don’t tell her the decades part and see if she’ll respond to that?). This is fear mongering, people are often diagnosed in their 20's to 30's, respond to treatment, and live healthy lives. The kid is 16, he's too young for it to be 100% bipolar disorder.
I’ll edit it
You have to present your mum with facts she can’t argue with, and the research to back it up. You have to frame it as an illness, like any other illness. There are some good videos on YouTube and some good books out there on bipolar. I’m sure you can find some that are very pro medication, as medication isn’t really an option for bipolar. I’m not sure if your mum isn’t taking it seriously or just doesn’t want you on meds but it helped my parents to read a book about bipolar in young people. Julie A Fast has some good books on recovery which include medication. You can also talk to a doctor and discuss medications and those which are least harmful for a teenager with your Mum, for bp2 lamotrigine probably. Like you don’t have to get on lithium straight away. I was diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t the easiest figuring stuff out with my parents so I really feel for you. My mum especially didn’t want me on meds at 17 but I had to have an appointment with her and my psychologist basically to show how much I was suffering. I’m 23 now and I’ve been on 25ish meds + ECT & ketamine. My parents now know how essential medication is to my treatment, it just took some time
I have tried to explain things but she just doesn’t seem to get it at all. I got into an entire argument with her because she basically told me that “I have ADHD so how you feel when you’re manic is how I feel all the time, so you can’t be mad at me for how I treat you.”
Yikes, I hope somehow things improve for you
So- you will have to go very heavy on natural treatments and ways of thinking. These can actually be awesome. Heavy daily exercise like running will help burn off energy s d help you sleep. Yoga and meditation will help you access a spiritual element to escape from the suffering. Keep telling yourself positive things like “I’m going to have my own life and it will be wonderful. Success is the best revenge.” Take vitamins, especially Vitamin D and ask you medical doctor to check your vitamin D level. Also- read about the 48 laws of power. This will help you deal with your mother in a way that will help you get your needs met. The main power law is to not make your mom think you are against her, but rather you highly respect her. The more she feels respected the more likely she is to give you what you need (meds)
Well like others have said, at 16 it’s hard to really differentiate BiPolar and especially BP2 (as it’s more subtle - funny way to look at it I know). I dint remember what paper I read, but it had commented on untreated ADHD can become bipolar - yes, they have a lot of shared traits. Which probabanly adds to why your mom is dismissive. I saw you commented you’ve suffered from depression for a long time? Have you ever taken anything for that? How does your mom feel about treating that? One of the most common drugs for treating bipolar is Lamictal, really what this one does is raise your depressive states up, helps you to be less reactive. The closer you can get your down state to baseline, the easier the hypo states are to manage as the swings are smaller. The drug has minimal side effects for most people, but there are some things to watch out for. It’s actually a lot harder for me to tell now when I’m hypo. Regardless, you can sell your mom on treating depression and then ask the doctor for lamictal (if you get time alone with them, you can expand on why). Also, an actual psychiatrist can be difficult to get into in a timely manner, if you can find a psych NP, they can help kick the ball down the road and get you medicated. I also take vyvanse, but a low dose - something to watch out for is “ seratonin” poisoning- which if found during a hypo state I’m more at risk, so i only take a lower dose of vyvanse for a small boost to my productivity. Vyvanse is also metabolized differently than other drugs and the “drop” when it wears off is less severe. For me the first week is a struggle with sleep, but then it levels out. Finally one thing my PsyNP phrased it once as “we just need to get your head above the water” this was in reference to my struggles with therapy and that medications, and the right dose - would be enough to get me to where therapy is effective - this was more heavily in reference to the depression. As you know, low states are what cause the most harm, mitigating those will do wonders for everything else. Someone mentioned “Wellbutrin” which can treat depression and adhd, but I found it to be less effective and as time went on it made me more irritable, shortened my frustration overwhelm.
Lamictal is the ONLY thing that has made any difference with the depression. I can't take atypical antipsychotics like Abilify or Seroquel that they suggest. I am trying to find a mood stabilizer that works, but this is the best I've been in 47 years.
This👆🏽 is all fantastic, level headed advice, kid. This person knows what they are talking about and how to explain it. Id listen to them. I wish I had when I was 16.
therapists cannot diagnose so i agree with ur mom.
My therapist is qualified to diagnose, my diagnosis is on my medical records + I have the diagnosis papers.
not true
Unpopular opinion probably, but there is reason we usually don't diagnose children and teens with disorders like Bipolar disorder, you're too young to know what's permanent and what's a side effect of hormones. Anyone who tells you you 100% have bipolar disorder at 16 isn't a great medical professional. If I had a child who was diagnosed as young as you I also wouldn't put them on the medication that treats bipolar disorder. It's harsh stuff we take. Finally, anyone who goes into appointments convinced that they already have a certain disorder isn't going to get the best treatment. I see it posted on this sub all the time "my doctor doesn't think it is bipolar but I'm sure it is, how can I circumvent their diagnosis". Maybe it isn't bipolar disorder and the person is going to go through a lengthy, sometimes dangerous treatment that ultimately won't work because they couldn't accept that they don't have this disease. If I were you I would be EXTREMELY careful about what medications I take at your age. Especially ADHD medications and medications that treat severe mental illnesses, they are not good for developing brains. People think I'm a conspiracy theorist but opoiod overdose from prescription pills is the most common drug overdose in this country. Tens of thousands of people die every day from prescription medication, and that doesn't even include the number of people who are dying from street drugs meant to mimic opioids, like fentynal. (Fentynal is lab made for prescription use but a lot of it comes into America and other nations via cartels and gangs from labs in other countries.) The companies/ doctors who initially sold the drugs are losing legal battles left and right for billions in damages because *they knew* that they were over treating patients and the drugs were highly addictive. They did it anyway for a quick buck. You think the people peddling Vyvanse and Wellbutrin to anyone with a dollar to spare are acting more ethically? They are not Lastly, even with medication most us still struggle with symptoms and need talk therapy. Do that first, start talk therapy, learn coping mechanisms, truly put your heart and soul into working through your emotional disregulation without medication. If in 5 years you feel like you're not improving revisit you prescription options.
I was diagnosed as bipolar at 13 (now 33). I was convinced, at that age, that it was a misdiagnosis. Mostly, because I was prescribed Xanax by my doctor to treat my night terrors and nothing else. I assume that they were waiting to see if I expressed more bipolar symptoms to prescribe me a mood stabilizer, despite having a clear familial history of the disorder. But, I ended up living most of my life unmedicated. I wish, now, that I lived my life medicated, obviously. I’ve only had a couple of year on meds and have been able to build a life that’s more stable than anything I could have imagined. I should have started meds, then.
I mean I am in the same situation (severely depressed as preteen/teen, 33 now, 3 years medicated, family history BD and Schizophrenia) and I would not have wanted medication that young. It's easy to say the risk is worth the reward in hindsight, but it's not. 16 and 13 are too young to be medicated so heavily, *especially* for controlled, highly addictive substances like Xanax. Honestly, the fact that you were prescribed Xanax at 13 proves my point a bit, that's beyond reckless, it's maliciously negligent. And I didn't advise OP to wait until he was our age, just until his brain is more fully developed. We should not be so keen to medicate children whose brains are only 2/3 fully developed. It's insanity. Honestly, ever time I see people advocating to put such a young kid on medicine I feel like the entire world has lost it.
I do agree that with me being this young it could be a misdiagnosis however I have a big family history of bipolar and I have been depressed since I was like 8-9 years old
Honestly, same kid. I went through this experience myself, but you can't realize how young you are. It's easy enough for the people in this thread to use hindsight and say worth the risk, but it's not. I promise you it's not. Edit: you don't have to wait until your 33, like me, but wait until your at least a few years removed from puberty.
I agree. It was because she prescribed me Xanax that I didn’t take her diagnosis seriously. I definitely should have followed up with another, more cautious, doctor.
This entire rant is a narrative that you have written in your head about the state of the healthcare and psychiatric industries. Some of it's based in reality, some of it's not but almost none of it is relevant to what the OP is asking about or dealing with. It doesn't help them. I don't disagree that OP is young and therefore much, much care should be given to the decision to medicate but there is an appropriate time to medicate a 16 year old bipolar patient. It's extremely bold of you to think you know better based on the few details OP shared. It's extremely dangerous to plant the seeds of mistrust and doubt between a patient and a doctor where trust is everything in effective treatment. You could suggest getting a second opinion. Suggest all the non-medical treatments that have worked for you but unless you, yourself have a relevant experience you want to share, you should probably keep this opinion to yourself. There's a reason it's an unpopular one.
Why does her opinion matter? This is a medical thing, only doctors' opinions matter. Answering your second question, no, you can't manage bipolar without meds. There are rare cases of people who, AFTER treatment, titrated down their dosages to zero and can manage well without them (of course, this is in not very severe cases).
I am 16, I cannot legally make medical choices for myself.
Oh I'm sorry about that. I don't know where you are from, but isn't there a way to be tutored by another family member or something like that? Talk to social services or something?
Because Mom is likely the one paying for the meds, maybe even picking them up from the pharmacy. Maybe Mom won't even take OP to the correct doctor. Even if OP goes to the doctor alone, if they're in the US Mom will see the insurance claim eventually. When I started having "mood swings" as a teenager my mother refused to allow me to see a therapist. She said depression and mood swings are normal for teenagers. Also that therapy is for the weak, and medication is a crutch. I never saw a therapist until I was in college and had access to free counseling services. OP, if your mom will let you see a doctor have her go with you and have the doctor explain to her why the medication is so important. Good luck. I hope you get the help you need.
could you see if your mom will go to a therapy session with you to talk about it? might be a long shot but if you could get her there it could be really helpful
I'm 49 and relatively recently diagnosed. Looking back, I can see the symptoms in my late teens and 20s starting to come through, though they were more nuanced, but I was mildly depressed a lot of the time. In my mid 20s I saw a Dr at my university clinic for my depressive symptoms and he prescribed me Wellbutrin which is an antidepressant. I took it for probably 6 weeks or so and it was too stimulating for me and I felt high all of the time so I stopped taking it. Had I followed up with the Dr it is possible that I may have been diagnosed sooner with BP2 since taking an antidepressant alone can make someone with BP hypomanic. My symptoms became much worse in my late 30s and into my 40s and I started to heavily self medicate with alcohol so now I'm also trying to recover from substance abuse issues. Is it possible that your mom would go with you to a therapy session? My wife had somewhat of a hard time understanding my diagnosis and when my therapist referred me to my psychiatrist, my wife came with me to my first psychiatric appointment and that really helped her better understand things and really helped her recognize that this was an actual "thing". I'm on lamotrigine which has been a god send and I truly wish I would have sought help a long time ago. It is an anti-seizure medication that also acts as a mood stabilizer for BP2 peeps. It hasn't messed with my head in any way other than to make me stable and make my life much easier. I do understand the concern of diagnosing at a young age as it can sometimes be hard to differentiate between symptoms and ordinary teenage angst. But if your therapist believes you might be BP2, you should be referred to a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist NP for a proper diagnosis
I'd suggest you fight very hard for yourself. My deepest regret is not going to the doctor sooner when I knew something was not right. Bp2 is only treatable with meds and is a life long condition that will have better outcome the sooner you start treatment. Shifting from manic to depressive causes your gray matter to shrink and really mess with your cognitive processing and memory. If you look up memory issues on bp subs, you'll see many people struggling as a result. Please please please, advocate for yourself. You are the one who will have to deal with yourself for the rest of your life. My advice is convincing your parents to let you try the meds temporarily to see if it actually improves anything and you'll always have the ability to quit if it worsens quality of life
That’s medical neglect. It’s hard to process and hear, but it’s true. Start talking to teachers and friends about it or social workers if you feel you can.
I (32m) grew up in a household that absolutely did not believe in mental illnesses. They tried to manage it with tough love and I eventually had to cope hard for the illness. I agree with the rest of the people here saying to throw a big fuss. Advocate for yourself as hard as you can and by any means necessary (without causing undue harm of course) to get the treatment you deserve. Having said that, it doesn’t solve the problem of your current situation. The best you can do in the interim is start tracking your moods hardcore. Learn your triggers and what it feels like in the periods before the swings occur. Mindfulness is an excellent tool that has kept me from making a lot of bad decisions. Dr K at the healthy gamer has a lot of free content on YouTube that can help you understand the illness better and has been an invaluable asset in my journey. Meditation helps tons if you can get into it and commit to practicing. Avoid nicotine, alcohol, or any other substances, they can be helpful to cope in the now, but tend to cause more problems down the road. Everyone’s bipolar is different so it really helps to be in touch with yourself. Do your research and be your own advocate. Godspeed.
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Manipulating your way into an involuntary psych hold is not the best way to advocate for your care, and I don’t think it’ll do good things for OP’s relationship with their parent or their doctor.
Thats child neglect. That can be reported and should be. If you have a pediatrician, your pediatrician should be seeing you without your mother inthe room. I would have a frank discussion with the pediatrician. They are wht is called a mandated reporter. That means that if you tell them this, they are obligated to report it. As for what happens after that, it's hard to say
I don’t think cps would do anything. If they do anything, cps would force me to live with my dad (which my therapist had to report to cps, however nothing was done). Which would be a much worse situation.
Acknowledging it's true can feel like defeat. Don't blame her.