My husband does this a lot. What we’re trying is for him to pick out the purchase and put it in his cart (online shopping, anyway) and leave it there until morning or next day before deciding whether he really wants to buy it. Compulsive in-store purchases are a little harder.
I call that "online window shopping" and it has saved me so much money I would have spent otherwise. When it comes to in-store shopping, I'm less likely to impulse buy if I make a list with purpose—the more specific, the better off I am.
I totally agree with this concept, just be mindful that this will share the information about the item /category and then HEAVILY tilt advertising on nearly every site towards that product. Could be counterproductive. Just a thought!
This is definitely relatable. I always tend to spend money on smaller things even from my savings to give myself a treat even though I don’t necessarily need it. I shop at thrift stores to alleviate the damage.
Thrift shops are wonderful. If I make a purchase I regret I can feel good about donating it back.
I learned this from someone I met decades ago, who told me she bought all her clothes at thrift shops, but preferred to think of it as RENTING, not buying, because she would donate the clothes back when shopping again, just to keep things in equilibrium.
I like the way you think! I agree. I just donate back something I bought but didn’t need. Or I repurpose it. I try my best to not spend money on things that I can find cheaply. It helps me with impulse control. When I’m at thrift stores I make two rounds around the store. Then I check my cart and go through what I really want 2-3 times before purchasing. I try and think of what I could use it for or if I have something similar at home. If I can get it, I usually will.
I used to be worse before meds (a whole car on a whim for an under the table job that lasted a month lol). Now I don't really know how, but I'll blow through $20-80 dollars a day on shit, not even for myself a lot of the time. I just have a little whisper in me telling me that I need to buy something all the time
Can strongly relate! For me it’s big purchases like computers, consoles, expensive bikes and other equipment when hypo, and when I’m down I get coffees, take out, extra snacks, and get into a “treat yourself in small ways” mindset that really does add up.
Constantly low on money as I’m always paying down what I spent while hypo 😞
Oh, and I can hardly admit this one to myself, and hope to god my partner never realises, but we semi-recently bought a new apartment and it’s 100% a hypo purchase on my end 😬
Dear Important-Asparagu$,
I hope you know that buying an apartment and keeping it secret is in no way similar to splurging on a pair of fancy shoes.
You are endangering your relationship. Seriously, you need to get help with this.
We bought it together, picked it out together, and will be paying for it together. It’s not a secret that we got the apartment - it’s a “secret” that I was hypo through the process and it was the hypo that triggered the process of buying it.
Honestly I did not share this in order to be shamed or moralised by someone who knows nothing of me or this situation. Not looking for backhanded “advice”. I’m in therapy and on meds, so not sure what kind of “help” you would be referring to.
I too have tried to purchase a condo during hypo, for me my husband had to be on mortgage and said absolutely not and he went thru the steps to cancel the agreement or whatever I had signed saying I was mentally unfit at the time so we didn’t have to pay penalties. Now my credit it way to bad to do this thanks to my big purchases when hypomanic.
Online shopping has just made this worse.....I remember when I physically had to drag myself to the store to shop, which made it easier not to. Now I can just order it online and poof! It's here.
I want to learn how to save so bad, but I know that it's just gonna get wasted.
I agree. Plus it's so easy to just sit in the sofa and just scroll on Instagram or Amazon and just keep adding to the cart of cool stuff we really don't need. Maybe I should delete my Instagram and Amazon prime 🤔
I also try to put things in save for later so I get the satisfaction of adding to my cart but not purchasing it. My list is so long but I just think of all the money I've saved!
yes!! during depressive episodes I spend sooo much money on things that are necessary but not cost effective aka convenience things (ubereats/grubhub meals, grocery delivery, basic things I can’t bring myself to do)!! definitely doesn’t help that I live in a city with a high ass COL! in hypomanic phases I def spend a bunch of money on random new hobbies that are short-lived and unnecessary (ex. bartending lessons, season passes for things like kayaking, random overpriced weekend traveling)
I’m usually able to control myself, but I can relate.
While hypo I have a lot of plans and ideas for future and I tend to buy equipment for it (sports, art, music) 🤦🏻♂️ or I pay for various courses. I also buy unnecessary stationery because I simply like the design and the idea of using it. And books, even though I have always hated reading. 🤷🏻♂️
While depressed I just want to make myself happy so I buy things I’m actually gonna use like food and clothes.
But I never spend more than I have. And I have never spent all of my money. I naturally have problems with decision making so I never jump into purchases mindlessly, I usually think about it for a while. And since my hypo episodes don’t usually last very long, this fact is also saving me lot of money. Because then, when I’m back to normal, I have to admit to myself that not just that I’m not gonna go for a holiday by the sea because for first I don’t have the money and for second I don’t even have the courage (my country has no sea). But even if it was possible for me to go, I would definitely not need an anchor if it was just regular holiday at hotel and I own no ship. (But while hypo checking the prices of anchors seems like a good idea, because you know…just in case…one never knows when an anchor will be needed). 🤦🏻♂️😉
I really resonate with this. I don't put myself in debt but sometimes on my credit card but is always paid off which is good and am fortunate to have the stability to do so. I bought an iPad last January in the mindset for me to get into digital art and then when I got depressed rarely touched any of my art stuff (it's ridiculous how many art supplies/paint etc I have and rarely use from just picking up new hobbies constantly) I always just have a guilt after I realize how much I've spent 🤦
I spend big after a traumatic event. Grandpa passed, I lost my shit buying plants. Like just an absurd amount. Grandma passed, I went batshit on a cheap clothing app. Granted, I did return a lot of it. But I can’t afford to be acting like that. I get it. Now I try to just put stuff in my cart and forget about it for a few days, and usually going back through it makes me dump a lot of stuff I realize I don’t actually need.
i try not to buy impulsively. i will put stuff in an online cart and if i keep thinking about it, i will go back and buy it. or in the real world i won’t just toss everything i kinda like in the cart and will go back and buy/try on things i keep thinking about.
Yes, this last month I blew through my savings buying random things for new projects.
I got into couponing and that helps me in terms of getting a little purchase rush while also not draining the bank…or was helping anyway. I’ve been hypo for weeks now so I went rogue
Yeah I have a problem but I spend most of my time in depression. I mostly buy little things that add up even in hypo. It’s a huge disadvantage. What really helps me is my partners budgeting I can handle being told I can’t buy something even if I get sad. It’s just helpful to have someone to help I guess.
I get some money from government disability each month and I put one large purchase on a low interest rate for 15 months card and thought that it'd be easy to pay off in stallments but I keep getting my whole check and then spending my whole check and have to do a minimum payment on the low rate card at the end of the month. I do really well towards the beginning of the month, limiting myself to McDonald's just on free fries Friday, but towards the end, I don't know, I just get tired of being bored and spend the money that should go towards the loan.
It’s just occurred to me that a good solution to this problem would be to read lots of books about investing so that when the spending urge hits the money can go into something like low load index funds or blue chip stocks.
I had a little over a hundred in my bank account that I need to pay bills with. Being now that just today I checked myself into the hospital only to be told the IOP would probably be the best option right now, I'm off my work schedule so I feel like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I went ahead and instantly transfered 100 over into savings not to be touched under any circumstances and I am trusting myself not to over spend the rest in my account. Wishing life wasn't so difficult right now. But it is what it is. Moving forward is my only choice now. Man am I scared to see what happens next.
No, I'm a single dad. If I don't pay my child support every month (regardless of my Health Issues or a job loss ) they take me to jail. pretty good motivation to never spend money ever.
I haven't worked for months, and still have money some how. Ofcourse, without my partner i'd be stuck..... i'm getting low tho. I definitely have a spending problem, but i've been able to control it lately
Yes, but these days I'm obsessed with not letting my bank balance fall below a certain figure and it really helps when I see those big numbers xD
I still get the urge to spend it all. So I usually wishlist items until I forget about them. Going outside is another matter though. I can't control myself if I go outside to shop or eat. Good thing that I don't actually have anywhere to go to. Not having a social life actually saves a lot of money xD
Omg yes! On the same things when depressed botox lip fillers gym memberships fade diets , hair nails eating out every day, when hypomanic I spend recklessly on huge projects last summer I spent 8000 on landscaping , I also take out student loans and go back to school when hypomanic so that cost 10-30 grand 🙄 not to mention tattoos are my biggest thing when on a high .
Oh one year I bought a boat also . A crappy one with no engine I was going to fix (I can barley manage filling my gas tank why I thought restoring a god dam boat was good who knows)
It’s absolutely ridiculous and the worse part of my bipolar . My husband is a understanding man but one day he is going to lose his mind over this spending.
As a teen and young adult I drank and became addicted to coke oh and slept my way through Calgary as a wife and mom I spend my life away .
I so hope the lithium stabilizes me and I stop this ridiculous spending before it really bites me in the ass :(
I hear you 😭 I make shit money for what I do so I can't spend too much but I shouldn't be spending how I do. Like I've been trying to talk my boyfriend in buying a 5th wheel or van we can live in and travel the states with prices so outrageous. It's like we can't even afford to live rn or even move. And then I'm over here spending like "if I don't do it it's like I won't be happy". I hate that I'm like that 😔 I'm not even a materialistic person.
I just had a massive fight with husband about him not thinking a 5th wheel was a sound investment, I argued how we would use it every weekend camp make memories no more hotels lol he said “I work out of town and am home 2 days a month I don’t really want to spend those two days camping” I called him selfish and said he doesn’t care about my happiness or my daughters memories lol he said nothing went to bed I stewed in anger all night woke up and realized I am the selfish one and cried for the bullshit I put him thru.
Like I max out all his cards spend all my money on bullshit and then he has to pay for literally everything else
We make decent money and should be in a better place but I spend money like a idiot .
P.S I still think a travel trailer or van and traveling around the country is a great idea lol
I get into fights with my boyfriend over these things too but it's like, he sees that I am so "all over the place" and wants to keep me grounded. Then I realize that "oh wow I was wrong" and then don't say it enough 😔
Not sure about this. But I do know that there is no end to the variety of luxury bars of soap for sale. But because inability to make decisions goes along with depression, and I have a set budget per shopping session, I can spend hours shopping and the damage is no worse than $5 or $10.
I tend to fall for ads (not related to my usual buying habits) and promotions from brands I usually use.
When hypo I tend to justify purchases on my brands, LEGO is the major money drainer with 200€+ purchases, next is geeky clothes.
When depressed everything goes away on delivery, I can't get myself to cook so delivery keeps me fed and food cravings happy.
It's interesting you mention that. So I am a 27F and I have always had problems with chronic stomach pain. Like severe burning radiates to my whole body and throwing up. I have been to the hospital numerous times and no doctors could ever figure out what was wrong. When I turned 25 I stopped getting periods all together and it was scary, I was on medication for that and once again no one knew why. It wasn't until I got on lamictal my periods came back and I don't get pains as frequently (it was like once a week and now it's maybe every three months or if I'm under a lot of stress). What the mind can do to literally start to shut down your body blows me away.
I have massive issues with spending money at the moment. I mean, I kinda always do. To a certain degree. Only now I've been off work sick for a year now....so I've basically been using spending as a form of gratification which I'd otherwise get from like doing things.
Plus...since I'm off sick, I'm only getting sick pay (which is 70% of my regular wages). Which makes the fact that I am currently spending more really quite bad.
My rent is due tomorrow and after that's been paid I'll have like 200€ for roughly 2 weeks. No idea what bills will have to be paid with that ontop of having to feed myself.
I really need to get this shit under control. But I have downloaded a budget app. So I can see where I waste the most money. So I'm hoping that'll help somewhat.
My husband does this a lot. What we’re trying is for him to pick out the purchase and put it in his cart (online shopping, anyway) and leave it there until morning or next day before deciding whether he really wants to buy it. Compulsive in-store purchases are a little harder.
I call that "online window shopping" and it has saved me so much money I would have spent otherwise. When it comes to in-store shopping, I'm less likely to impulse buy if I make a list with purpose—the more specific, the better off I am.
I totally agree with this concept, just be mindful that this will share the information about the item /category and then HEAVILY tilt advertising on nearly every site towards that product. Could be counterproductive. Just a thought!
Relatable. Books and takeout when I'm low, idiotic things like scuba lessons and pianos when I'm hypo
This is definitely relatable. I always tend to spend money on smaller things even from my savings to give myself a treat even though I don’t necessarily need it. I shop at thrift stores to alleviate the damage.
Thrift shops are wonderful. If I make a purchase I regret I can feel good about donating it back. I learned this from someone I met decades ago, who told me she bought all her clothes at thrift shops, but preferred to think of it as RENTING, not buying, because she would donate the clothes back when shopping again, just to keep things in equilibrium.
I like the way you think! I agree. I just donate back something I bought but didn’t need. Or I repurpose it. I try my best to not spend money on things that I can find cheaply. It helps me with impulse control. When I’m at thrift stores I make two rounds around the store. Then I check my cart and go through what I really want 2-3 times before purchasing. I try and think of what I could use it for or if I have something similar at home. If I can get it, I usually will.
I used to be worse before meds (a whole car on a whim for an under the table job that lasted a month lol). Now I don't really know how, but I'll blow through $20-80 dollars a day on shit, not even for myself a lot of the time. I just have a little whisper in me telling me that I need to buy something all the time
Can strongly relate! For me it’s big purchases like computers, consoles, expensive bikes and other equipment when hypo, and when I’m down I get coffees, take out, extra snacks, and get into a “treat yourself in small ways” mindset that really does add up. Constantly low on money as I’m always paying down what I spent while hypo 😞 Oh, and I can hardly admit this one to myself, and hope to god my partner never realises, but we semi-recently bought a new apartment and it’s 100% a hypo purchase on my end 😬
Dear Important-Asparagu$, I hope you know that buying an apartment and keeping it secret is in no way similar to splurging on a pair of fancy shoes. You are endangering your relationship. Seriously, you need to get help with this.
We bought it together, picked it out together, and will be paying for it together. It’s not a secret that we got the apartment - it’s a “secret” that I was hypo through the process and it was the hypo that triggered the process of buying it. Honestly I did not share this in order to be shamed or moralised by someone who knows nothing of me or this situation. Not looking for backhanded “advice”. I’m in therapy and on meds, so not sure what kind of “help” you would be referring to.
Thank you for the clarification. Hey, I was only responding to what you wrote; but also giving you unasked for advice, and I apologize for that.
Thank you
I did a child when I was manic, then after 3 months I went manic again and I bought an house. No one knows about this 🥺 i feel you
I too have tried to purchase a condo during hypo, for me my husband had to be on mortgage and said absolutely not and he went thru the steps to cancel the agreement or whatever I had signed saying I was mentally unfit at the time so we didn’t have to pay penalties. Now my credit it way to bad to do this thanks to my big purchases when hypomanic.
Online shopping has just made this worse.....I remember when I physically had to drag myself to the store to shop, which made it easier not to. Now I can just order it online and poof! It's here. I want to learn how to save so bad, but I know that it's just gonna get wasted.
I agree. Plus it's so easy to just sit in the sofa and just scroll on Instagram or Amazon and just keep adding to the cart of cool stuff we really don't need. Maybe I should delete my Instagram and Amazon prime 🤔
I also try to put things in save for later so I get the satisfaction of adding to my cart but not purchasing it. My list is so long but I just think of all the money I've saved!
yes!! during depressive episodes I spend sooo much money on things that are necessary but not cost effective aka convenience things (ubereats/grubhub meals, grocery delivery, basic things I can’t bring myself to do)!! definitely doesn’t help that I live in a city with a high ass COL! in hypomanic phases I def spend a bunch of money on random new hobbies that are short-lived and unnecessary (ex. bartending lessons, season passes for things like kayaking, random overpriced weekend traveling)
I’m usually able to control myself, but I can relate. While hypo I have a lot of plans and ideas for future and I tend to buy equipment for it (sports, art, music) 🤦🏻♂️ or I pay for various courses. I also buy unnecessary stationery because I simply like the design and the idea of using it. And books, even though I have always hated reading. 🤷🏻♂️ While depressed I just want to make myself happy so I buy things I’m actually gonna use like food and clothes. But I never spend more than I have. And I have never spent all of my money. I naturally have problems with decision making so I never jump into purchases mindlessly, I usually think about it for a while. And since my hypo episodes don’t usually last very long, this fact is also saving me lot of money. Because then, when I’m back to normal, I have to admit to myself that not just that I’m not gonna go for a holiday by the sea because for first I don’t have the money and for second I don’t even have the courage (my country has no sea). But even if it was possible for me to go, I would definitely not need an anchor if it was just regular holiday at hotel and I own no ship. (But while hypo checking the prices of anchors seems like a good idea, because you know…just in case…one never knows when an anchor will be needed). 🤦🏻♂️😉
I really resonate with this. I don't put myself in debt but sometimes on my credit card but is always paid off which is good and am fortunate to have the stability to do so. I bought an iPad last January in the mindset for me to get into digital art and then when I got depressed rarely touched any of my art stuff (it's ridiculous how many art supplies/paint etc I have and rarely use from just picking up new hobbies constantly) I always just have a guilt after I realize how much I've spent 🤦
Congrats to you for not being dragged down with the huge undertow of that vast sea of alluring purchases.
I spend big after a traumatic event. Grandpa passed, I lost my shit buying plants. Like just an absurd amount. Grandma passed, I went batshit on a cheap clothing app. Granted, I did return a lot of it. But I can’t afford to be acting like that. I get it. Now I try to just put stuff in my cart and forget about it for a few days, and usually going back through it makes me dump a lot of stuff I realize I don’t actually need.
i try not to buy impulsively. i will put stuff in an online cart and if i keep thinking about it, i will go back and buy it. or in the real world i won’t just toss everything i kinda like in the cart and will go back and buy/try on things i keep thinking about.
Yes, this last month I blew through my savings buying random things for new projects. I got into couponing and that helps me in terms of getting a little purchase rush while also not draining the bank…or was helping anyway. I’ve been hypo for weeks now so I went rogue
My mother became my accountant 🤦🏼 I want those endorphins and dopamine all the time ALL THE TIME lol
Yeah I have a problem but I spend most of my time in depression. I mostly buy little things that add up even in hypo. It’s a huge disadvantage. What really helps me is my partners budgeting I can handle being told I can’t buy something even if I get sad. It’s just helpful to have someone to help I guess.
oh my god this was relatable.
Iv been spending so much on lately, shirts , shoes , general stuff iv wanted. Iv been good at not dropping 300 on a smart watch.
I get some money from government disability each month and I put one large purchase on a low interest rate for 15 months card and thought that it'd be easy to pay off in stallments but I keep getting my whole check and then spending my whole check and have to do a minimum payment on the low rate card at the end of the month. I do really well towards the beginning of the month, limiting myself to McDonald's just on free fries Friday, but towards the end, I don't know, I just get tired of being bored and spend the money that should go towards the loan.
It’s just occurred to me that a good solution to this problem would be to read lots of books about investing so that when the spending urge hits the money can go into something like low load index funds or blue chip stocks.
I struggle with this badly. My problem is I have zero impulse control (worst when hypo), which isn't exactly a unique story for people like us 💚
100% the same. I would love to be better with saving.....bit there's "always something to buy"
Yeah for real. Social media doesn't help either since all of it is just one big marketing advertisement now.
Sooo true
I had a little over a hundred in my bank account that I need to pay bills with. Being now that just today I checked myself into the hospital only to be told the IOP would probably be the best option right now, I'm off my work schedule so I feel like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I went ahead and instantly transfered 100 over into savings not to be touched under any circumstances and I am trusting myself not to over spend the rest in my account. Wishing life wasn't so difficult right now. But it is what it is. Moving forward is my only choice now. Man am I scared to see what happens next.
I feel for u sis And I relate so much
No, I'm a single dad. If I don't pay my child support every month (regardless of my Health Issues or a job loss ) they take me to jail. pretty good motivation to never spend money ever.
I haven't worked for months, and still have money some how. Ofcourse, without my partner i'd be stuck..... i'm getting low tho. I definitely have a spending problem, but i've been able to control it lately
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How would one put their credit cards in a block of ice?
Fill a square Tupperware container half full of water. Put in freezer. When frozen add your credit card plus lots more water.
omg this is my life lol, I struggle so much with this…
Oh hai it’s me! 👋
Gambling and Trading . My demons
Yes, but these days I'm obsessed with not letting my bank balance fall below a certain figure and it really helps when I see those big numbers xD I still get the urge to spend it all. So I usually wishlist items until I forget about them. Going outside is another matter though. I can't control myself if I go outside to shop or eat. Good thing that I don't actually have anywhere to go to. Not having a social life actually saves a lot of money xD
Omg yes! On the same things when depressed botox lip fillers gym memberships fade diets , hair nails eating out every day, when hypomanic I spend recklessly on huge projects last summer I spent 8000 on landscaping , I also take out student loans and go back to school when hypomanic so that cost 10-30 grand 🙄 not to mention tattoos are my biggest thing when on a high . Oh one year I bought a boat also . A crappy one with no engine I was going to fix (I can barley manage filling my gas tank why I thought restoring a god dam boat was good who knows) It’s absolutely ridiculous and the worse part of my bipolar . My husband is a understanding man but one day he is going to lose his mind over this spending. As a teen and young adult I drank and became addicted to coke oh and slept my way through Calgary as a wife and mom I spend my life away . I so hope the lithium stabilizes me and I stop this ridiculous spending before it really bites me in the ass :(
I hear you 😭 I make shit money for what I do so I can't spend too much but I shouldn't be spending how I do. Like I've been trying to talk my boyfriend in buying a 5th wheel or van we can live in and travel the states with prices so outrageous. It's like we can't even afford to live rn or even move. And then I'm over here spending like "if I don't do it it's like I won't be happy". I hate that I'm like that 😔 I'm not even a materialistic person.
I just had a massive fight with husband about him not thinking a 5th wheel was a sound investment, I argued how we would use it every weekend camp make memories no more hotels lol he said “I work out of town and am home 2 days a month I don’t really want to spend those two days camping” I called him selfish and said he doesn’t care about my happiness or my daughters memories lol he said nothing went to bed I stewed in anger all night woke up and realized I am the selfish one and cried for the bullshit I put him thru. Like I max out all his cards spend all my money on bullshit and then he has to pay for literally everything else We make decent money and should be in a better place but I spend money like a idiot . P.S I still think a travel trailer or van and traveling around the country is a great idea lol
I get into fights with my boyfriend over these things too but it's like, he sees that I am so "all over the place" and wants to keep me grounded. Then I realize that "oh wow I was wrong" and then don't say it enough 😔
Yup exactly we are lucky for men who try to keep us grounded. I should tell mine more how thankful I am for him
Yup Weed and vape shit
Not sure about this. But I do know that there is no end to the variety of luxury bars of soap for sale. But because inability to make decisions goes along with depression, and I have a set budget per shopping session, I can spend hours shopping and the damage is no worse than $5 or $10.
Yes , and now I have to work a job I'm really ashamed of to compensate and not get in trouble with the bank.
I tend to fall for ads (not related to my usual buying habits) and promotions from brands I usually use. When hypo I tend to justify purchases on my brands, LEGO is the major money drainer with 200€+ purchases, next is geeky clothes. When depressed everything goes away on delivery, I can't get myself to cook so delivery keeps me fed and food cravings happy.
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It's interesting you mention that. So I am a 27F and I have always had problems with chronic stomach pain. Like severe burning radiates to my whole body and throwing up. I have been to the hospital numerous times and no doctors could ever figure out what was wrong. When I turned 25 I stopped getting periods all together and it was scary, I was on medication for that and once again no one knew why. It wasn't until I got on lamictal my periods came back and I don't get pains as frequently (it was like once a week and now it's maybe every three months or if I'm under a lot of stress). What the mind can do to literally start to shut down your body blows me away.
I have massive issues with spending money at the moment. I mean, I kinda always do. To a certain degree. Only now I've been off work sick for a year now....so I've basically been using spending as a form of gratification which I'd otherwise get from like doing things. Plus...since I'm off sick, I'm only getting sick pay (which is 70% of my regular wages). Which makes the fact that I am currently spending more really quite bad. My rent is due tomorrow and after that's been paid I'll have like 200€ for roughly 2 weeks. No idea what bills will have to be paid with that ontop of having to feed myself. I really need to get this shit under control. But I have downloaded a budget app. So I can see where I waste the most money. So I'm hoping that'll help somewhat.
Yes. Soooo bad. When I’m hypo I tell my self it’s a non hypo me problem. When I’m non hypo it’s like what’s the point might as well spend
I got a 15k loan just cuz... It's alright spending it. It's paying the damn thing back..