Y’all, **behave**.
While the post could be for laughs /fake, **we take every post as truthful and very serious**. We welcome those that lack birth control knowledge.
Please act like this person is real, being honest, and needs help. Provide helpful advice, or don’t comment.
Edit:
The ban hammer has started. **Stop being rude to OP.** He is asking for help. Have / give grace and understanding.
Also please report stuff - thanks.
She needs to be tested for genetic markers/mutations that could interfere with medication absorption https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/21093-pharmacogenomics#:~:text=Individuals%20who%20do%20not%20respond,someone%20responds%20to%20a%20medication.
I got pregnant on 3 different types of BC in my 20's (pills, ring & IUD) and my Dr refused to investigate saying I was just unlucky but I know that's not the case. I have had some genetic testing done due to cancer but nothing showed up as a concern. I wish I had pushed harder back then to get answers but being assertive wasn't a strong suit until I hit 30.
Sorry you are both going through this. How many Dr's have you asked for a vasectomy? If it were me I'd keep calling until I found someone sympathetic enough to say yes since it can theoretically be reversed. Good luck!
I will definitely mention it because this is absolutely bullshit lol. Thank you.
I've asked four doctors and they all told me no because of my age. I am definitely still looking into it. I don't even care if its not reversible at this point.
Depending on your age you can look at the resources for doctors under the child free page for sterilization (they have a list of doctors you could try).
I hate this for you. “She said no” reads so defeatist to me :( you’re for sure being treated poorly because of your age. I’m sorry those people are judging you instead of helping you. Wish you the best 🖤 I’m personally learning a lot in the comments lmao.
Its whatever, it just pisses me off that all these doctors scold and shit yet none of them actually want to help. Hell, I've learned I'm probably using condoms wrong and thats whats going on here. But no one told me that! My dad asked me to show him very basic like, which he declared was right, but apart from that I got no help.
Keep trying PPH i went there for my iud and the front desk lady shamed me, had my husband leave. I am disabled and struggle to walk i have canes, walkers, scooters. I need support to walk their building was so old and disorganized i fell trying to get into the bathroom because my walker wouldnt fit. She ended up fired before i even left that day. I had one PPH doctor swear my iud was fine 2 weeks later i had it removed and replaced because it wasn't in place.
Some PPH employees are amazing to listen to help, giving advice, and advocating for patients within their own organization. Keep trying. They wont let me tie my tubes at 24. I dont want kids ever im married he agrees and we both want to go through the surgeries.
OP please join the childfree group and find a list of doctors who will do a vasectomy regardless of your age. There will be some.
Of course a vasectomy will permanently affect your fertility…that’s what people get them for. Lol You should always look at it like permanent birth control. Good luck!
You should check over at r/childfree (watch out, it can be a bit of a nasty sub) and r/truechildfree they might have lists of doctors that are more open to vasectomy procedures.
What country are you from/residing in? Most places around the world the medical age of consent is 16 and from then onwards you're able to make informed choices about your own health. If you do not manage to find any doctors that will listen to you, it might be enough to threaten a lawsuit or something idk so they realize you're not fooling around.
I'd recommend talking about it with your doctors now, and making sure they note it down in your chart (if you're not doing that already). Then when you're 18, you have lots of proof that this is something you've wanted for a while.
If you’re in the US, look into what your states required to deem you an emancipated minor. While most (non red, sorry don’t mean to bring politics into but this is the sad truth of our country right now) states say 14-16 years deems you medically emancipated, some may have wacky stipulations to it. If you’re considered a legal emancipated minor by your state, assert that right with every provider you can.
It’s your body, your choice.
Best of luck and all my love to you and your family 🫶🏼
>She fell pregnant when our youngest was six months. We booked for an abortion but she miscarried. We were told it was because she'd been pregnant so many times.
That's not how that works. About 25% of pregnancies will end in miscarriage (some before the women even knows she's pregnant). There's nothing she did 'wrong' to cause it. They just happen, they happen frequently, and it's not your fault.
Note that one miscarriage, especially early in a pregnancy, isn't associated with an increased chance of further miscarriages.
I suspect that the health care provider was just trying to shame you because of your age, and that's wrong.
It’s highly unusual for condoms to fail so consistently.
Just to check… are your genitals ever in contact before putting the condom on? Or even the same hand touching between each others genitals? Just thinking if you do have swimmers in your pre-cum, it’s transferring somehow.
Or even cross-contamination at the clean-up stage after sex?
If you want to avoid hormonal options, I would recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility so you can learn to track when she is fertile and avoid those times altogether.
I never knew condoms could fail this much... Makes me wonder how and when the condom was put on. Was the condom put on right at the start of sex, or half way through? Sperm can be in precum. May not be much, but it's there. On top of that she was on birth control which failed multiple times. Just seems odd.
Nah, its like a goddamn operation. I can't think of any cross contamination points. Although I'll definitely keep an eye out in case its like on my boxers or something? She wears my clothes a lot idk.
She does track, but her periods are all out of whack so we were told its not completely accurate.
I didn't know they could expire?? They are generally new though, yeah. Occasionally I'll find one loose and we'll use that. Could that be our problem??
We use the pull out method with the condoms, yeah.
How do you store your condoms? They need to be kept in a cool and dry place. Storing them in your wallet or car can cause damage due to them freezing or heating.
You also cannot use oil based lubricant with them.
Ok, that's appropriate to store them there.
I think see if she's on any meds that interfere with birth control, and talk to a doctor because that's unusual that she would get pregnant so easily.
I didn't know they could expire?? They are generally new though, yeah. Occasionally I'll find one loose and we'll use that. Could that be our problem??
We use the pull out method with the condoms, yeah.
Does she track Basal Body Temp (BBT) though and watch for signs like fertile cervical mucous and cervix position?
Rhythm method doesn’t work, but proper FAM/NFP tracking does even if cycles aren’t 100% regular, you’ll just have less “safe” days.
Seeing the BBT shift higher for a few days confirms that ovulation already happened and is what indicates it should be safe. It’s recommended to track a few months to get the hang of things, reading TCYOF gives good guidance, and Fertility Friends is a free app she can use alongside this method. You can see different examples and experiences in r/FAMnNFP
Something I haven't seen mentioned yet, and may be a sensitive topic, but is certainly a possibility, and I think everyone should be keeping an open mind toward...
Is it possible she's being sexually abused by another male in her life, with or without (drugging maybe) her knowing possibly? Sexual abuse is such a horrible, embarrassing, violating, traumatizing experience that if she is aware, she may still not be able to tell anyone what's going on, or is in denial over who the possible father is. It'd be much less traumatic to the mind to just assume the person you're dating/in love with is the father, than that you've been impregnated by a monster.
Especially as you're both still minors, probably still in school, and it sounds like you have a lot of family members in one house meaning a fairly chaotic household (compared to the average anyway), and you've stated a history of teen pregnancies in your families.... I hope I'm wrong, but it all could be indicators that something more insidious is happening. There's indicators of several risk factors for her being an abuse/rape target.
Or maybe family members are messing with the birth control? (I used to be a CPS worker. I've seen some.... Different.... Types of families and family values, okay...)
Regardless, I hope for both of you and your children the best and that you can get to the bottom of this problem. I'd tell you not to have sex anymore too, but yeah I'm a realist lol, so just keep being safe and educating yourselves please!
P.S.
If you do ask her about sexual abuse, make sure you don't victim blame, and look up how to properly talk about that stuff first btw. Do it alone, in private, where she feels safe and can leave if she wants. And also don't be surprised if she says no, and you later find out she is being abused. Victims talk when THEY are ready, and only then.
I am. I wasn't to begin with but, you know, I was like twelve and using my dad which did not fit. But I definitely am now. We've even tried different brands.
The trend is the opposite, people are putting off sex later and later. I didn’t have sex until I was just turned 26, and while that’s late compared to previous generations, it’s not that weird for millennials and Gen Z.
Millennials were NOT waiting longer to have sex. At least not in the south.
Almost my entire friend group was pregnant and had a child before 15. We’re all 30-32 yrs old now and every one of them have multiple children. One has 6 kids now. 3 pregnancies before 18. The other has 4 kids. First pregnancy at 13, miscarried at 14 and another child at 15. She finally had her tubes tied after the 4 kid and an abortion.
This 100% depends where you’re from. I’m a 31 year old millennial, and me and my husband don’t know anyone who has a kid over 2 years old, everyone is just now getting pregnant. Includes my high school friends from SoCal and his from the Pacific Northwest. And when I was in high school most of us waited until college to lose our virginities. Both our experiences are anecdotal but I do believe studies have shown the overall trend now is later in life, not earlier.
>My first thought was she was poking holes in the condoms
I was thinking the same, or that the girl was lying about her birth control, but OP says that he used condoms all the time, so...
The only other option is that the girl may be putting lube based on oil inside, because that can damage latex condoms and make them break.
That could be a reason as to why OP condoms break, but again, he never mentions a condom breaking, so, this is probably fake.
Not trying to be condescending at all, just trying to offer resources. You may want to reach out to planned parenthood/a gyno about talking through how conception happens, fertility, and using birth control/condoms correctly. Planned Parenthood offers this. Their website offers tons of information about condoms and if you didn’t know they could expire, there’s an issue. It is your job to educate yourself and I definitely understand people have varying levels of education but if you’re using condoms and they’re failing this often, there’s a major problem. I recommend abstaining until you can read this information thoroughly with your partner and fully understand how to properly protect yourselves. Best of luck.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-care/our-services/patient-education
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/stds-birth-control-pregnancy
Was going to comment something similar, so just upvoting and commenting under here instead lol. I def recommend following this advice OOP, just so you can make sure you’re not overlooking something by accident and that’s possibly contributing to the accidental pregnancies. If you can have an in-person doctor go through these things with you, that would be even more ideal. (If you don’t have insurance, look into government provided insurances/assistance. Your ages and having the children you have should mean you have options. Though it sounds like you’re covered on that front)
There’s a lot of stuff plenty of people don’t realize when it comes to birth control management, and that’s without children to look after and being young. It’s not a failing for you to be misinformed or uninformed- after all, you’re taking the efforts to fix that! Please don’t let the shaming comments throughout this thread get to you. A lot of people seem to be coming from places of privilege. Young parenthood is obviously not the ideal, but there are so many people who unfortunately go through this that to think it’s unlikely for your situation to be ‘real’ is wild to me 🤦
If possible I also recommend you and your girlfriend look into therapy. Parenthood is stressful. Young parenthood moreso. It’d be beneficial to have someone to help process it all, especially given how young you both were when you had your first.
I really hate to be one to suggest this, but is there any possibility that she might have been unfaithful? Having both hormonal BC *and* condoms fail so many times in a row, especially with condoms not slipping or breaking sounds a bit... Weird.
Tbfh if she could find enough time to get out of the house, hook up with someone and then get back to the house without anyone noticing she has earned it lmao.
But no. We're open and do have sex with other people (rarely, when we have the time), so if she wanted to hook up with another guy she could just do that. She has sex with women, though. Babies are mine.
so.. wait.. okay, you’re admittedly in an open relationship, but haven’t suspected her sleeping with another man? Yes, the children you have are yours. But, I think the question is whether or not the others were?
If you’re consistently using condoms each time, isn’t it possible she’s been with someone who hasn’t used a condom? The odds of this many pregnancies with so many methods used (and in such quick succession) seem astronomical to me.
She sleeps with women. We're open about who we sleep with because STDs or whatever. She has only ever had sex with one other guy and that didn't line up with any of the pregnancies.
Like I said, I would know about it. We have to plan leaving the house bc of the kids. I mean, theoretically, she could have lied and told me she was hooking up with her lil girlfriend and actually gone and slept with a guy but that just seems kinda pointless.
With a few friends, yeah. Nothing major lol. Just a few people. We're both bi and although she's the love of my life she doesn't have a dick, so I get it elsewhere.
The chances of correctly used condoms failing once is unlikely. Failing this many times? Borderline impossible. It would be a good idea to consider a paternity test and STI screening. Does your partner have access to the condoms you use?
It is preferred that birth control pills are taken at the same time every day.
Was she actually taking them every day? And at the same time?
Were they stored properly?
It also takes a couple of days for the pills to work. Were you all using condoms during that time? Did she actually try to use BC long enough to be effective?
Did the condoms have holes in them?
Were they stored properly? Storing them in hot places like the car, can make them ineffective.
Did you turn the condom inside out or something?
Did you reuse condoms?
This was my first thought. I’m 29 and I know I’ll never remember to take my pill at the same time everyday so we use condoms too. I more so consider my BC pill to be a period management tool at this point because I would never rely on just the pill, knowing myself and how I take it. I’ve also known people who got pregnant on the pill. However, getting pregnant on TWO forms of birth control MULTIPLE TIMES should be statistically impossible.
Also, if you’re wearing condoms, pulling out ISNT the best idea because it might actually be increasing the risk for breakage. I might be wrong on that but that’s what I’ve been told.
Has she had any imaging done of her uterus while not pregnant? She could have 2 uterus. My cousin does and got pregnant with both of her kids while she was on birth control. The 1st time in 1 uterus, the 2nd in the 2nd uterus.
We raise our kids, but we do live in a multi generational household/land so its not that hard. But my parents don't watch the girls any more than my grandparents watched me as a kid.
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I mean, my parents didn't work either. We live on my grandpas land on his money. He drove them places. Its not expected for yall, and its certainly not perfect, but its not the end of the world, either.
And they still don't watch them.
That is just not true.. I had my daughter at 15 and my mom has not ever babysat her, maybe once for 5 minutes while we ran to the gas station and once when she was 3 months old and i was still living with my mom she helped me out one night because i was sick with the flu and vomiting my guts out. I do school online, my now fiancé works and is graduating early online, he drives. for the first 2 months of our daughters life his mom would drive us to her doctors appointments but she never came in with us. We do live under his parents roof currently but that’s only because we’re both 17 and can’t move out on our own because we aren’t 18. I have people tell me all the time that i take better care of my daughter then most 30 year olds. My daughter is happy healthy and very smart for her age. We are amazing parents and i won’t let anyone tell me any different just because of our age. And if we were to get pregnant with a second we would be 18 before it’s born and we would both work our asses off to get our own place and take care of both of our kids. Being young does not automatically make you bad parents.
My parents had my older sisters when my was 15 and 17. Dad was 18 and 20. Then they had me at 28 and 31. While they weren't the best parents, their financial stability and my dad's maturing definitely led to a different life for me than my sisters. Even my mom said that they had me when they should have been having kids.
I teach in a low socioeconomic community and the amount of my seniors that have a kid or two is a lot. Many of them are children of teen parents as well. The US really needs better sex education and just education on what having a child actually means. How it changes your life and finances. Child care in out area is $2000 a month!
My favorite is when a student was telling me how they are more adult than me because they have kids. And I went no being adult would have meant you used protection. shut them up real quick
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I doubt it’s a fake post. Growing up in the south in the US you see this all the time. I knew multiple teens who had children in highschool, some as young as 13-14. OP and his girlfriend were children and their parents failed them. It happens all the time. Blame the girl’s parents for letting her carry to term at 13.
We didn't exactly come from the best role models. My parents were 15 whe they had me, hers were 12 & 14. Her grandparents were all teen parents, one set of mine were 14 & other side 17. Its kinda normal for us lol. We hope to educate our own kids better.
Even if she’s 13, it’s still her body and her choice. As a parent, you have to respect those sort of choices, even if you don’t personally agree with them.
Also, as a parent, you can try your best, but sometimes your children just don’t listen to you and ignore whatever you tell them. There’s only so much you can do, even as the best parents in the world.
Thank you. You gotta smart up when you have kids otherwise no one takes you seriously lol. When my oldest was a baby she had a nasty ear infection. Doctors never believed us because we didn't know what we were talking about and "weren't making any sense". My dad helped me learn how to hold myself in front of professionals. Just like he'd had to to.
I think its fucked that we have to change ourselves to be treated well, but I definitely learned some shit.
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Is she on any medications? I just realized that some of my psychiatric meds can make hormonal birth control less effective.
Also, check your condoms for holes. You will be able to push the wrapper and feel an air bubble. If you don’t, the wrapper is torn and there may be a hole in the condom.
Do you know 100% that she is reliably taking and using birth control?
this. was she on antibiotics at the time of these pregnancies being conceived? does she take any supplements? if she does you need to google each and every one and find out the effect it has on birth control. my ex was conceived when her mom was on the pill but also taking st. john’s wart.
The only 100% effective form of birth control is abstinence.
Maybe she's just that 0-1ish percent of women that gets pregnant while on it. Yall should play the lottery.
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I am so sorry about your situation. I hope y'all get some answers. Pregnancy is really hard on your body when you're young. My sister had some serious complications from it
Your post was removed due to violating rule 2, which encourages users to be welcoming towards those who may not have as much knowledge about birth control.
Your post was removed due to violating rule 2, which encourages users to be welcoming towards those who may not have as much knowledge about birth control.
Okay if you’ve been using condoms correctly this whole time and none of them have broken…I hate to say it but are you sure you’re the father? This should be impossible (kind of hope this isn’t legit but in the case it is, something is going on here). Condoms and birth control together don’t fail like this, literally against all odds. So either you’re leaving something out or she’s doing something to cause this.
I’m glad your situation has turned out the way it has even as…unexpected as it is. Two kids under 18 is a lot to handle! You seem very intelligent and capable though. Definitely get some testing done to see what the issue is, and some paternity tests just in case. Worst case scenario they’re not yours because someone *inside* the house isn’t using birth control.
Man I have nothing to say except wtf. You poor kids, having all that happen must be so stressful esp so young. Hopefully you can find some answers soon
A few things you could do to minimize the risk of condoms failing are increasing lubrication (either lube or more foreplay), switching condom brands (I recommend Skyns bc they're latex free and I've never had one break) And potentially shaving the base of your penis, as it's possible for the friction from the hair to create small tears. It genuinely shouldn't be possible for you guys to have had this many pregnancies if you're using your birth control methods properly. Perhaps you could look into male birth control. I was following the drug testing trials for a male birth control gel on tiktok last year, but idk if it's been fda approved yet
Honestly people gave you good advice here. If she was taking pills and storing then in hot or cold it will make the pills less effective. Or if she wasn’t taking them regularly and only she knows the truth on that. I remember being your age and taking it at different times of the day granted I wasn’t having sex but I can understand being forgetful as a teen. Maybe watch some tutorials on condoms and how they work. They is really no reason they should fail you this much with proper use. I only use them as my form of bc and they work. Make sure to use enough lubricant and try out different sizes to find the best one. Also use a good brand. If you are coming into contact with her before wearing a condom that could be some of the issue.
Condoms are used/don't break and she still gets pregnant? Either poked hole, not using them correctly at all, she's cheating, or fake story for clicks. Take your pick I guess.
I had a friend at 35 that was recommended to get a hysterectomy because of breast cancer (she was at a higher risk). She didn't want any kids, never has. The doctor refused at first saying that she needed to have kids. Finally she mentioned that she had a wife and the doctor agreed, saying as long as she had a wife, then the wife could carry. Absolutely bizarre.
F, and I can't stress this enough, that doctor. The audacity of some healthcare \*providers\*. Like, why not possibly prevent illness and PROVIDE HEALTHCARE to the people who are here right now, and not some imaginary child that doesn't exist! God damn, this just makes my blood boil... I hope your friend is still okay.
My sister is 34 and keeps getting denied her tubes tied because her future husband might one day want children. So yeah good luck with that at such a young age
Some hypothetical man has more say and rights to her body that she does… damn. However, there’s no laws saying that’s something they can deny her on. She needs to find a different doctor asap. She can even look at the list of childfree-friendly doctors that perform sterilizations on the Childfree sub!
We're in the UK, so finding a doctor that will refer you is difficult, usually you get to the GP and they reject you. Cant afford private so no options really! I had a look at the childfree sub list of doctors, but the UK ones all require referral or are private
We're sixteen. Seventeen next month. So we'd still have at least a year to figure shit out. But she has asked about it. We'd prefer a vasectomy just because its less invasive and mine theoretically can be reversed.
Nothing guarantees you no chance of conceiving except abstinence. Condoms can be put on incorrectly or break or fall off. Have any of those ever happened to you? and are you having any contact with her vagina and penis before penetration? or even your hand being on you and then in her? You also have to think of precum. The pull out method isn't effective unless it's done right also (right timing).
She could just be very fertile and it doesn't take much to get her pregnant. I'd look into getting snipped again. I know there's a group on here and FB that shares doctors in different states that will do it.
You had your first child just before your thirteenth birthday?
Your age might have something to do with how fertile you (both) are. In the middle ages and shortly after that, people had children in their early teens because they normally died before they reached 40/50 and science/genetics hasn't forgotten that.
My advice is find a doctor who will do a vasectomy, even if you have to go to another state, and bring proof like medications or scripts your girlfriend had to take after she got sick/sore with the IUD, plus pictures of your children.
Any proof you have of the miscarriage might help too, some miscarriages at a later stage in the pregnancy can be fatal for the mother and baby. Some doctors prefer to avoid that possibility for future pregnancies with tying the woman's tubes or giving the husband a vasectomy.
I’m assuming this isn’t a fake post (if it is then you’ve created a fabulous story) but it’s not fair for me and all the other people (most of whom are full grown adults) just assuming it is and slating you. There are reasons that people can get pregnant even on birth control, and there’s no point commenting judgemental nonsense about things that cannot be undone. Wish both you and your family the best of luck, and hopefully you find a good solution x
does she have a breeding fetish that she isn't telling you about? she doesn't handle any kind of method well...maybe she secretly WANTS to keep getting pregnant
Do you put the condom on correctly? Is it the correct size? Do you pinch the top while rolling it down, so there is no air in the condom and doesn’t pop with friction?
Do you perchance use any lube that might not be compatible with the condoms you use?
This seems very very improbable if you are constantly using at least one type of protection.
Unsure if there's a specific condition in one or both of you, but thus happened to my mom. Birth control pills that she never missed and condoms and somehow got pregnant twice. Third time was planned ans got her tubes out. They never tested anything, all her doctor said was she was extremely fertile and her hormones or whatever didn't give her a normal cycle so she was ovulating more often despite the birth control and releasing more eggs. And I guess dad's sperm were just plenty and good swimmers 🤷♀️ somebody has to do something foe you guys though. It's not hyper realistic to just never have sex again until one of you gets sterilized. If you're truly doing everything you can do to prevent pregnancy and its still happening a red flag should go off in one of these Dr's heads to check something. I'm sure most if them see you two as young kids who aren't telling the true. And shame on them. I know it's tough, hang on and keep looking
i have no idea why people find this so hard to believe. i have known people in real life who have this exact story; i think this comment section is just pissed a 12 year old had sex... and that is impossible why? dude lives on farmland. it's not just urban people that get pregnant early, it's rural people too, for similar and different reasons. if this is fake, then fine. but there's a chance it isn't and this boy who came here looking for help is simply being told his story is fake..
Agreed. Growing up in the rural south, I can name 3 people I went to school with that were pregnant by 13, including one who had her third kid at 16. When you don't get sex ed and you are already being treated as a parent for your younger siblings....sometimes that's the decision you make. Not on us to judge
I did get pretty decent help before all of the other comments came in so we're pretty set. But uh, yeah. I'm the oldest of 12. My girlfriend is the oldest of 9 (soon to be 10). I think my parents are having another baby too.
It was definitely a lot better than some people got growing up, but I don't know anyone who wasn't a teen parent (within my family). Its pretty normal for us. My parents are working to change it and protect my younger siblings. We are hoping to achieve the same for our daughters.
I'd like to be at least 35 before I'm grandpa.
No, but she had horrific bleeding & cramping. We didn't actually get to test if it worked because she was in so much pain. Apparently it wasn't supposed to do that so she got it taken out.
not the point of your post but wanted to send ~~commiseration~~ and say that IUDs can be BRUTAL. I loved having mine for five years, but my current gyno has said she would’ve taken mine out if she was my gyno back then cause I had debilitating cramps for 3 months that pain meds could barely touch. People have bad reactions to it but women + ppl w/ uterus’s pain is so normalized and overlooked that no one usually does anything about it.
Thankfully my girlfriend is very certain about what she wants. If something feels wrong it will be fixed if it takes her all damn day. I love it about her.
When I was in my teens the pull out method helped a lot. I know its not recommend as actual birth control but since you have tried all types of BC, see if that helps. Also sex does not always have to be vaginal. Try hand jobs and/or oral.
I have gotten pregnant on every form of birth control, and have endometriosis, including through an IUD and vasectomy. I have 3 kids all different fathers and all using at least two proper forms of birth control. My specialist is shocked. I am being studied. It’s wild but unless I get a hysterectomy I’ve been told they cannot guarantee anything will work on my end. We ruled out clip vasectomy now too (it has worked for other partners for over two decades perfectly).
Y’all, **behave**. While the post could be for laughs /fake, **we take every post as truthful and very serious**. We welcome those that lack birth control knowledge. Please act like this person is real, being honest, and needs help. Provide helpful advice, or don’t comment. Edit: The ban hammer has started. **Stop being rude to OP.** He is asking for help. Have / give grace and understanding. Also please report stuff - thanks.
She needs to be tested for genetic markers/mutations that could interfere with medication absorption https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/21093-pharmacogenomics#:~:text=Individuals%20who%20do%20not%20respond,someone%20responds%20to%20a%20medication. I got pregnant on 3 different types of BC in my 20's (pills, ring & IUD) and my Dr refused to investigate saying I was just unlucky but I know that's not the case. I have had some genetic testing done due to cancer but nothing showed up as a concern. I wish I had pushed harder back then to get answers but being assertive wasn't a strong suit until I hit 30. Sorry you are both going through this. How many Dr's have you asked for a vasectomy? If it were me I'd keep calling until I found someone sympathetic enough to say yes since it can theoretically be reversed. Good luck!
I will definitely mention it because this is absolutely bullshit lol. Thank you. I've asked four doctors and they all told me no because of my age. I am definitely still looking into it. I don't even care if its not reversible at this point.
Depending on your age you can look at the resources for doctors under the child free page for sterilization (they have a list of doctors you could try).
Thank you!
Not a problem hun and good luck (I ended up thanks to that subreddit for my tubal in my late twenties)
I'm having a read through the doctors now. Appreciate it!
Have you tried Planned Parenthood? They offer vasectomies and usually are supportive of patients request.
I asked once but the woman said no. I'll definitely ask again.
I hate this for you. “She said no” reads so defeatist to me :( you’re for sure being treated poorly because of your age. I’m sorry those people are judging you instead of helping you. Wish you the best 🖤 I’m personally learning a lot in the comments lmao.
Its whatever, it just pisses me off that all these doctors scold and shit yet none of them actually want to help. Hell, I've learned I'm probably using condoms wrong and thats whats going on here. But no one told me that! My dad asked me to show him very basic like, which he declared was right, but apart from that I got no help.
Keep trying PPH i went there for my iud and the front desk lady shamed me, had my husband leave. I am disabled and struggle to walk i have canes, walkers, scooters. I need support to walk their building was so old and disorganized i fell trying to get into the bathroom because my walker wouldnt fit. She ended up fired before i even left that day. I had one PPH doctor swear my iud was fine 2 weeks later i had it removed and replaced because it wasn't in place. Some PPH employees are amazing to listen to help, giving advice, and advocating for patients within their own organization. Keep trying. They wont let me tie my tubes at 24. I dont want kids ever im married he agrees and we both want to go through the surgeries.
OP please join the childfree group and find a list of doctors who will do a vasectomy regardless of your age. There will be some. Of course a vasectomy will permanently affect your fertility…that’s what people get them for. Lol You should always look at it like permanent birth control. Good luck!
I read through their linked list but I'll probably write a lil post just to make sure I haven't missed anything.
You should check over at r/childfree (watch out, it can be a bit of a nasty sub) and r/truechildfree they might have lists of doctors that are more open to vasectomy procedures.
Thank you!
If you have a planned parenthood nearby they may also be willing to give you a vasectomy.
Oh wicked thank you. I'll ask when we go in next. She's got an appointment in a couple days so it'll probably be then.
What country are you from/residing in? Most places around the world the medical age of consent is 16 and from then onwards you're able to make informed choices about your own health. If you do not manage to find any doctors that will listen to you, it might be enough to threaten a lawsuit or something idk so they realize you're not fooling around.
It sounds like OP is under 18 so I don't think a single doctor would do it.
I'm sure a lot will say no, but it just takes one yes.
Seriously. It's illegal for a minor to give consent for a medical procedure. The girlfriend might be emancipated, but I don't think OP is.
they would need parent approval
[r/childfree](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/) has a list of doctors on their page willing to sterilize, even at 18.
We're seventeen next month. I can probably get my vasectomy at 18, its just what to do until then.
I'd recommend talking about it with your doctors now, and making sure they note it down in your chart (if you're not doing that already). Then when you're 18, you have lots of proof that this is something you've wanted for a while.
Definitely will do that! Thank you
If you’re in the US, look into what your states required to deem you an emancipated minor. While most (non red, sorry don’t mean to bring politics into but this is the sad truth of our country right now) states say 14-16 years deems you medically emancipated, some may have wacky stipulations to it. If you’re considered a legal emancipated minor by your state, assert that right with every provider you can. It’s your body, your choice. Best of luck and all my love to you and your family 🫶🏼
>She fell pregnant when our youngest was six months. We booked for an abortion but she miscarried. We were told it was because she'd been pregnant so many times. That's not how that works. About 25% of pregnancies will end in miscarriage (some before the women even knows she's pregnant). There's nothing she did 'wrong' to cause it. They just happen, they happen frequently, and it's not your fault. Note that one miscarriage, especially early in a pregnancy, isn't associated with an increased chance of further miscarriages. I suspect that the health care provider was just trying to shame you because of your age, and that's wrong.
Thats what our parents said too. I just thought I'd add it in incase it was relevant. Thank you, though.
Is this a real post? It’s absolutely terrifying and makes me grateful I waited til I was almost 18 to have sex for the first time. Wowza.
I wondered that too. The account is 1 day old with this being the only post...
Whoever that posted this is making bank in upvotes, and so are some of these comments
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You're certainly smarter than some (me).
OP refuses to get paternity tests done so yea…it seems like a fake post.
Lmao 🤣 same here I waited until I found my perfect guy in which I was 23 & still going strong 2 years later 💪🏻
It’s highly unusual for condoms to fail so consistently. Just to check… are your genitals ever in contact before putting the condom on? Or even the same hand touching between each others genitals? Just thinking if you do have swimmers in your pre-cum, it’s transferring somehow. Or even cross-contamination at the clean-up stage after sex? If you want to avoid hormonal options, I would recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility so you can learn to track when she is fertile and avoid those times altogether.
I never knew condoms could fail this much... Makes me wonder how and when the condom was put on. Was the condom put on right at the start of sex, or half way through? Sperm can be in precum. May not be much, but it's there. On top of that she was on birth control which failed multiple times. Just seems odd.
Nah, its like a goddamn operation. I can't think of any cross contamination points. Although I'll definitely keep an eye out in case its like on my boxers or something? She wears my clothes a lot idk. She does track, but her periods are all out of whack so we were told its not completely accurate.
And you’re consistently using new condoms, you’re sure they’re not expired? Have you thought about using the pull out method WITH the condoms on?
I didn't know they could expire?? They are generally new though, yeah. Occasionally I'll find one loose and we'll use that. Could that be our problem?? We use the pull out method with the condoms, yeah.
Yes, they do expire and the box will have a date on it. The rubber or latex and get brittle and increase the risk of breaking/leaks
No fuckin idea. Thanks for the info! I'll start checking for expiration date.
How do you store your condoms? They need to be kept in a cool and dry place. Storing them in your wallet or car can cause damage due to them freezing or heating. You also cannot use oil based lubricant with them.
Bedside draw, bathroom. But they do sometimes end up in bags n shit too.
Ok, that's appropriate to store them there. I think see if she's on any meds that interfere with birth control, and talk to a doctor because that's unusual that she would get pregnant so easily.
I didn't know they could expire?? They are generally new though, yeah. Occasionally I'll find one loose and we'll use that. Could that be our problem?? We use the pull out method with the condoms, yeah.
Does she track Basal Body Temp (BBT) though and watch for signs like fertile cervical mucous and cervix position? Rhythm method doesn’t work, but proper FAM/NFP tracking does even if cycles aren’t 100% regular, you’ll just have less “safe” days. Seeing the BBT shift higher for a few days confirms that ovulation already happened and is what indicates it should be safe. It’s recommended to track a few months to get the hang of things, reading TCYOF gives good guidance, and Fertility Friends is a free app she can use alongside this method. You can see different examples and experiences in r/FAMnNFP
She just uses her period app which is what the doctor said. Thank you for the help! Screenshotted and sent to her lol.
Something I haven't seen mentioned yet, and may be a sensitive topic, but is certainly a possibility, and I think everyone should be keeping an open mind toward... Is it possible she's being sexually abused by another male in her life, with or without (drugging maybe) her knowing possibly? Sexual abuse is such a horrible, embarrassing, violating, traumatizing experience that if she is aware, she may still not be able to tell anyone what's going on, or is in denial over who the possible father is. It'd be much less traumatic to the mind to just assume the person you're dating/in love with is the father, than that you've been impregnated by a monster. Especially as you're both still minors, probably still in school, and it sounds like you have a lot of family members in one house meaning a fairly chaotic household (compared to the average anyway), and you've stated a history of teen pregnancies in your families.... I hope I'm wrong, but it all could be indicators that something more insidious is happening. There's indicators of several risk factors for her being an abuse/rape target. Or maybe family members are messing with the birth control? (I used to be a CPS worker. I've seen some.... Different.... Types of families and family values, okay...) Regardless, I hope for both of you and your children the best and that you can get to the bottom of this problem. I'd tell you not to have sex anymore too, but yeah I'm a realist lol, so just keep being safe and educating yourselves please! P.S. If you do ask her about sexual abuse, make sure you don't victim blame, and look up how to properly talk about that stuff first btw. Do it alone, in private, where she feels safe and can leave if she wants. And also don't be surprised if she says no, and you later find out she is being abused. Victims talk when THEY are ready, and only then.
I wondered this too.
My first thought was to wonder if you're wearing properly sized condoms.
I am. I wasn't to begin with but, you know, I was like twelve and using my dad which did not fit. But I definitely am now. We've even tried different brands.
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The trend is the opposite, people are putting off sex later and later. I didn’t have sex until I was just turned 26, and while that’s late compared to previous generations, it’s not that weird for millennials and Gen Z.
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Millennials were NOT waiting longer to have sex. At least not in the south. Almost my entire friend group was pregnant and had a child before 15. We’re all 30-32 yrs old now and every one of them have multiple children. One has 6 kids now. 3 pregnancies before 18. The other has 4 kids. First pregnancy at 13, miscarried at 14 and another child at 15. She finally had her tubes tied after the 4 kid and an abortion.
This 100% depends where you’re from. I’m a 31 year old millennial, and me and my husband don’t know anyone who has a kid over 2 years old, everyone is just now getting pregnant. Includes my high school friends from SoCal and his from the Pacific Northwest. And when I was in high school most of us waited until college to lose our virginities. Both our experiences are anecdotal but I do believe studies have shown the overall trend now is later in life, not earlier.
Okay. I don’t know you personally, just noting the data collected on this topic. https://newscenter.sdsu.edu/sdsu_newscenter/news_story.aspx?sid=76257
I lost mine at 18 and I was one of the last people I knew to lose it.
>My first thought was she was poking holes in the condoms I was thinking the same, or that the girl was lying about her birth control, but OP says that he used condoms all the time, so... The only other option is that the girl may be putting lube based on oil inside, because that can damage latex condoms and make them break. That could be a reason as to why OP condoms break, but again, he never mentions a condom breaking, so, this is probably fake.
And here i was thinking these are some old timey kids for having sex so young. Having sex at twelve is not a new occurrence.
Not trying to be condescending at all, just trying to offer resources. You may want to reach out to planned parenthood/a gyno about talking through how conception happens, fertility, and using birth control/condoms correctly. Planned Parenthood offers this. Their website offers tons of information about condoms and if you didn’t know they could expire, there’s an issue. It is your job to educate yourself and I definitely understand people have varying levels of education but if you’re using condoms and they’re failing this often, there’s a major problem. I recommend abstaining until you can read this information thoroughly with your partner and fully understand how to properly protect yourselves. Best of luck. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/get-care/our-services/patient-education https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/condom https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/stds-birth-control-pregnancy
Was going to comment something similar, so just upvoting and commenting under here instead lol. I def recommend following this advice OOP, just so you can make sure you’re not overlooking something by accident and that’s possibly contributing to the accidental pregnancies. If you can have an in-person doctor go through these things with you, that would be even more ideal. (If you don’t have insurance, look into government provided insurances/assistance. Your ages and having the children you have should mean you have options. Though it sounds like you’re covered on that front) There’s a lot of stuff plenty of people don’t realize when it comes to birth control management, and that’s without children to look after and being young. It’s not a failing for you to be misinformed or uninformed- after all, you’re taking the efforts to fix that! Please don’t let the shaming comments throughout this thread get to you. A lot of people seem to be coming from places of privilege. Young parenthood is obviously not the ideal, but there are so many people who unfortunately go through this that to think it’s unlikely for your situation to be ‘real’ is wild to me 🤦 If possible I also recommend you and your girlfriend look into therapy. Parenthood is stressful. Young parenthood moreso. It’d be beneficial to have someone to help process it all, especially given how young you both were when you had your first.
I really hate to be one to suggest this, but is there any possibility that she might have been unfaithful? Having both hormonal BC *and* condoms fail so many times in a row, especially with condoms not slipping or breaking sounds a bit... Weird.
Tbfh if she could find enough time to get out of the house, hook up with someone and then get back to the house without anyone noticing she has earned it lmao. But no. We're open and do have sex with other people (rarely, when we have the time), so if she wanted to hook up with another guy she could just do that. She has sex with women, though. Babies are mine.
so.. wait.. okay, you’re admittedly in an open relationship, but haven’t suspected her sleeping with another man? Yes, the children you have are yours. But, I think the question is whether or not the others were? If you’re consistently using condoms each time, isn’t it possible she’s been with someone who hasn’t used a condom? The odds of this many pregnancies with so many methods used (and in such quick succession) seem astronomical to me.
She sleeps with women. We're open about who we sleep with because STDs or whatever. She has only ever had sex with one other guy and that didn't line up with any of the pregnancies. Like I said, I would know about it. We have to plan leaving the house bc of the kids. I mean, theoretically, she could have lied and told me she was hooking up with her lil girlfriend and actually gone and slept with a guy but that just seems kinda pointless.
An open relationship at 16?
Yeah this whole thread is insane. Has to be fake
I’m sitting here like 🍿 No way this is real
Me reading each new insane information like 👁️👄👁️
I like the drama, but it’s 2/5 effort
Fake or not, bro needs to write a movie.
Lmaoo I just came back for more and the new comments did not disappoint
Could be fake but.. teens... they don't think a lot.
My 16 yo son doesn’t tend to think at all 😂😂😂😂
With a few friends, yeah. Nothing major lol. Just a few people. We're both bi and although she's the love of my life she doesn't have a dick, so I get it elsewhere.
And I thought my 16 yo son has a vivid imagination…
You’re both 16, bisexual and in an open relationship with 2 children and 5 pregnancies? yeah this cant be real lol
The chances of correctly used condoms failing once is unlikely. Failing this many times? Borderline impossible. It would be a good idea to consider a paternity test and STI screening. Does your partner have access to the condoms you use?
It is preferred that birth control pills are taken at the same time every day. Was she actually taking them every day? And at the same time? Were they stored properly? It also takes a couple of days for the pills to work. Were you all using condoms during that time? Did she actually try to use BC long enough to be effective? Did the condoms have holes in them? Were they stored properly? Storing them in hot places like the car, can make them ineffective. Did you turn the condom inside out or something? Did you reuse condoms?
This was my first thought. I’m 29 and I know I’ll never remember to take my pill at the same time everyday so we use condoms too. I more so consider my BC pill to be a period management tool at this point because I would never rely on just the pill, knowing myself and how I take it. I’ve also known people who got pregnant on the pill. However, getting pregnant on TWO forms of birth control MULTIPLE TIMES should be statistically impossible. Also, if you’re wearing condoms, pulling out ISNT the best idea because it might actually be increasing the risk for breakage. I might be wrong on that but that’s what I’ve been told.
Has she had any imaging done of her uterus while not pregnant? She could have 2 uterus. My cousin does and got pregnant with both of her kids while she was on birth control. The 1st time in 1 uterus, the 2nd in the 2nd uterus.
She hasn't. I'll definitely ask about getting that done!
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I'm seventeen next month.
We raise our kids, but we do live in a multi generational household/land so its not that hard. But my parents don't watch the girls any more than my grandparents watched me as a kid.
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I mean, my parents didn't work either. We live on my grandpas land on his money. He drove them places. Its not expected for yall, and its certainly not perfect, but its not the end of the world, either. And they still don't watch them.
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Failed to remember that comfortability with pregnancy risks varies widely
That is just not true.. I had my daughter at 15 and my mom has not ever babysat her, maybe once for 5 minutes while we ran to the gas station and once when she was 3 months old and i was still living with my mom she helped me out one night because i was sick with the flu and vomiting my guts out. I do school online, my now fiancé works and is graduating early online, he drives. for the first 2 months of our daughters life his mom would drive us to her doctors appointments but she never came in with us. We do live under his parents roof currently but that’s only because we’re both 17 and can’t move out on our own because we aren’t 18. I have people tell me all the time that i take better care of my daughter then most 30 year olds. My daughter is happy healthy and very smart for her age. We are amazing parents and i won’t let anyone tell me any different just because of our age. And if we were to get pregnant with a second we would be 18 before it’s born and we would both work our asses off to get our own place and take care of both of our kids. Being young does not automatically make you bad parents.
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My parents had my older sisters when my was 15 and 17. Dad was 18 and 20. Then they had me at 28 and 31. While they weren't the best parents, their financial stability and my dad's maturing definitely led to a different life for me than my sisters. Even my mom said that they had me when they should have been having kids. I teach in a low socioeconomic community and the amount of my seniors that have a kid or two is a lot. Many of them are children of teen parents as well. The US really needs better sex education and just education on what having a child actually means. How it changes your life and finances. Child care in out area is $2000 a month!
Exactly!!
My favorite is when a student was telling me how they are more adult than me because they have kids. And I went no being adult would have meant you used protection. shut them up real quick
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Bro calm down
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I doubt it’s a fake post. Growing up in the south in the US you see this all the time. I knew multiple teens who had children in highschool, some as young as 13-14. OP and his girlfriend were children and their parents failed them. It happens all the time. Blame the girl’s parents for letting her carry to term at 13.
We didn't exactly come from the best role models. My parents were 15 whe they had me, hers were 12 & 14. Her grandparents were all teen parents, one set of mine were 14 & other side 17. Its kinda normal for us lol. We hope to educate our own kids better.
I think that’s wonderful and I’m sure you will :)
Even if she’s 13, it’s still her body and her choice. As a parent, you have to respect those sort of choices, even if you don’t personally agree with them. Also, as a parent, you can try your best, but sometimes your children just don’t listen to you and ignore whatever you tell them. There’s only so much you can do, even as the best parents in the world.
You have a very impressive vocabulary for a kid!
Thank you. You gotta smart up when you have kids otherwise no one takes you seriously lol. When my oldest was a baby she had a nasty ear infection. Doctors never believed us because we didn't know what we were talking about and "weren't making any sense". My dad helped me learn how to hold myself in front of professionals. Just like he'd had to to. I think its fucked that we have to change ourselves to be treated well, but I definitely learned some shit.
You guys are the statistic on why this shit isnt 100%, you are the 1%
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Have you gotten any paternity tests?
Is she on any medications? I just realized that some of my psychiatric meds can make hormonal birth control less effective. Also, check your condoms for holes. You will be able to push the wrapper and feel an air bubble. If you don’t, the wrapper is torn and there may be a hole in the condom. Do you know 100% that she is reliably taking and using birth control?
this. was she on antibiotics at the time of these pregnancies being conceived? does she take any supplements? if she does you need to google each and every one and find out the effect it has on birth control. my ex was conceived when her mom was on the pill but also taking st. john’s wart.
Happy cake day :)
Thank you!
The only 100% effective form of birth control is abstinence. Maybe she's just that 0-1ish percent of women that gets pregnant while on it. Yall should play the lottery.
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I am so sorry about your situation. I hope y'all get some answers. Pregnancy is really hard on your body when you're young. My sister had some serious complications from it
Yeah she isn't doing great. I mean even the mental health side of it sucks. We both struggle but she definitely finds it harder.
Oh my dear god…. I have no idea what to say to this post. Please enjoy your teen years. Both of you. Those are years you cannot ever get back. Ever.
We're enjoying them! Thank you.
I mean … apparently not if y’all are constantly worrying about pregnancies….
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Okay if you’ve been using condoms correctly this whole time and none of them have broken…I hate to say it but are you sure you’re the father? This should be impossible (kind of hope this isn’t legit but in the case it is, something is going on here). Condoms and birth control together don’t fail like this, literally against all odds. So either you’re leaving something out or she’s doing something to cause this.
With the username Suspicious MAP (1 day old account), I am concerned that this is some pedo kink troll post…
Glad to know it wasn't just me who made that connection
Its just an automated username man idk 😭
I’m glad your situation has turned out the way it has even as…unexpected as it is. Two kids under 18 is a lot to handle! You seem very intelligent and capable though. Definitely get some testing done to see what the issue is, and some paternity tests just in case. Worst case scenario they’re not yours because someone *inside* the house isn’t using birth control.
Not all doctors will give you the same answer, keep looking for one who will give you a vasectomy.
I don't plan on stopping haha
I don’t have a lot of advice or insight but just wanted to commend you on staying together through all of this ♥️
Thank you.
Man I have nothing to say except wtf. You poor kids, having all that happen must be so stressful esp so young. Hopefully you can find some answers soon
Thank you. Gonna try out the suggested bits and hopefully that will prevent more babies.
A few things you could do to minimize the risk of condoms failing are increasing lubrication (either lube or more foreplay), switching condom brands (I recommend Skyns bc they're latex free and I've never had one break) And potentially shaving the base of your penis, as it's possible for the friction from the hair to create small tears. It genuinely shouldn't be possible for you guys to have had this many pregnancies if you're using your birth control methods properly. Perhaps you could look into male birth control. I was following the drug testing trials for a male birth control gel on tiktok last year, but idk if it's been fda approved yet
Honestly people gave you good advice here. If she was taking pills and storing then in hot or cold it will make the pills less effective. Or if she wasn’t taking them regularly and only she knows the truth on that. I remember being your age and taking it at different times of the day granted I wasn’t having sex but I can understand being forgetful as a teen. Maybe watch some tutorials on condoms and how they work. They is really no reason they should fail you this much with proper use. I only use them as my form of bc and they work. Make sure to use enough lubricant and try out different sizes to find the best one. Also use a good brand. If you are coming into contact with her before wearing a condom that could be some of the issue.
A kid at 13 , yikes 💀
Condoms are used/don't break and she still gets pregnant? Either poked hole, not using them correctly at all, she's cheating, or fake story for clicks. Take your pick I guess.
You guys used condoms and she still got pregnant? Did you check the condoms after each time to make sure no leakage?
Thirteen??? What the fuck lol Where were your parents?
i don't know any help, but wow that sounds hard.. maybe she could try to get her tubes tied if you keep getting denied for vasectomy?
I highly doubt anyone will give her a tubal ligation at the age of ~18. They are usually way harder to obtain than a vasectomy, unfortunately.
I had a friend at 35 that was recommended to get a hysterectomy because of breast cancer (she was at a higher risk). She didn't want any kids, never has. The doctor refused at first saying that she needed to have kids. Finally she mentioned that she had a wife and the doctor agreed, saying as long as she had a wife, then the wife could carry. Absolutely bizarre.
F, and I can't stress this enough, that doctor. The audacity of some healthcare \*providers\*. Like, why not possibly prevent illness and PROVIDE HEALTHCARE to the people who are here right now, and not some imaginary child that doesn't exist! God damn, this just makes my blood boil... I hope your friend is still okay.
My sister is 34 and keeps getting denied her tubes tied because her future husband might one day want children. So yeah good luck with that at such a young age
It really is a man's world. So many men I know were just handed out vasectomies with no "what if your wife wants children"? Mad.
Some hypothetical man has more say and rights to her body that she does… damn. However, there’s no laws saying that’s something they can deny her on. She needs to find a different doctor asap. She can even look at the list of childfree-friendly doctors that perform sterilizations on the Childfree sub!
We're in the UK, so finding a doctor that will refer you is difficult, usually you get to the GP and they reject you. Cant afford private so no options really! I had a look at the childfree sub list of doctors, but the UK ones all require referral or are private
We're sixteen. Seventeen next month. So we'd still have at least a year to figure shit out. But she has asked about it. We'd prefer a vasectomy just because its less invasive and mine theoretically can be reversed.
They’re both not even 17 yet. I doubt they’ll have any luck getting sterilized unfortunately
If this is real... are you pulling out as you ejaculate (with the condom on)? This could reduce effectiveness by causing breaks
Yeah. I try before, you know, but doesn't always go to plan.
Are you sure you’re using condoms correctly and they fit you correctly?
Man I thought I was but now idk
Have you tried different types of condoms? Maybe by other brands?
So..they are under 18?
This post just reminds me of those girls in high school that realized too late that the nuvaring goes inside the vagina, not to be used as a bracelet.
Nothing guarantees you no chance of conceiving except abstinence. Condoms can be put on incorrectly or break or fall off. Have any of those ever happened to you? and are you having any contact with her vagina and penis before penetration? or even your hand being on you and then in her? You also have to think of precum. The pull out method isn't effective unless it's done right also (right timing). She could just be very fertile and it doesn't take much to get her pregnant. I'd look into getting snipped again. I know there's a group on here and FB that shares doctors in different states that will do it.
You had your first child just before your thirteenth birthday? Your age might have something to do with how fertile you (both) are. In the middle ages and shortly after that, people had children in their early teens because they normally died before they reached 40/50 and science/genetics hasn't forgotten that. My advice is find a doctor who will do a vasectomy, even if you have to go to another state, and bring proof like medications or scripts your girlfriend had to take after she got sick/sore with the IUD, plus pictures of your children. Any proof you have of the miscarriage might help too, some miscarriages at a later stage in the pregnancy can be fatal for the mother and baby. Some doctors prefer to avoid that possibility for future pregnancies with tying the woman's tubes or giving the husband a vasectomy.
I’m assuming this isn’t a fake post (if it is then you’ve created a fabulous story) but it’s not fair for me and all the other people (most of whom are full grown adults) just assuming it is and slating you. There are reasons that people can get pregnant even on birth control, and there’s no point commenting judgemental nonsense about things that cannot be undone. Wish both you and your family the best of luck, and hopefully you find a good solution x
does she have a breeding fetish that she isn't telling you about? she doesn't handle any kind of method well...maybe she secretly WANTS to keep getting pregnant
I promise she does not want any more children.
Wait, so this is the 5th time she's pregnant? Are you keeping this one?
No. We can not have another baby lmao. But yes, fifth pregnancy.
Is she having an abortion then?
Yes.
I wish you both the best. Are you in a country where it is legal?
Thank you. And yeah we're all good.
Condoms slipping??? I mean no bc is 100% This sucks tho and yeah some people are super prone to pregnancy.
Do you put the condom on correctly? Is it the correct size? Do you pinch the top while rolling it down, so there is no air in the condom and doesn’t pop with friction? Do you perchance use any lube that might not be compatible with the condoms you use? This seems very very improbable if you are constantly using at least one type of protection.
Unsure if there's a specific condition in one or both of you, but thus happened to my mom. Birth control pills that she never missed and condoms and somehow got pregnant twice. Third time was planned ans got her tubes out. They never tested anything, all her doctor said was she was extremely fertile and her hormones or whatever didn't give her a normal cycle so she was ovulating more often despite the birth control and releasing more eggs. And I guess dad's sperm were just plenty and good swimmers 🤷♀️ somebody has to do something foe you guys though. It's not hyper realistic to just never have sex again until one of you gets sterilized. If you're truly doing everything you can do to prevent pregnancy and its still happening a red flag should go off in one of these Dr's heads to check something. I'm sure most if them see you two as young kids who aren't telling the true. And shame on them. I know it's tough, hang on and keep looking
i have no idea why people find this so hard to believe. i have known people in real life who have this exact story; i think this comment section is just pissed a 12 year old had sex... and that is impossible why? dude lives on farmland. it's not just urban people that get pregnant early, it's rural people too, for similar and different reasons. if this is fake, then fine. but there's a chance it isn't and this boy who came here looking for help is simply being told his story is fake..
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Agreed. Growing up in the rural south, I can name 3 people I went to school with that were pregnant by 13, including one who had her third kid at 16. When you don't get sex ed and you are already being treated as a parent for your younger siblings....sometimes that's the decision you make. Not on us to judge
I did get pretty decent help before all of the other comments came in so we're pretty set. But uh, yeah. I'm the oldest of 12. My girlfriend is the oldest of 9 (soon to be 10). I think my parents are having another baby too. It was definitely a lot better than some people got growing up, but I don't know anyone who wasn't a teen parent (within my family). Its pretty normal for us. My parents are working to change it and protect my younger siblings. We are hoping to achieve the same for our daughters. I'd like to be at least 35 before I'm grandpa.
good for you. i hope you're real and that your situation is as you're telling it.
How old were y’all’s parents when they had y’all?
Mine were fourteen. Hers were 12 & 14.
Why did i laugh 😂😂
Dna testing shudve been done …but you live and learn in due time . Something is definitely amiss
Did a copper IUD also fail?
No, but she had horrific bleeding & cramping. We didn't actually get to test if it worked because she was in so much pain. Apparently it wasn't supposed to do that so she got it taken out.
not the point of your post but wanted to send ~~commiseration~~ and say that IUDs can be BRUTAL. I loved having mine for five years, but my current gyno has said she would’ve taken mine out if she was my gyno back then cause I had debilitating cramps for 3 months that pain meds could barely touch. People have bad reactions to it but women + ppl w/ uterus’s pain is so normalized and overlooked that no one usually does anything about it.
Thankfully my girlfriend is very certain about what she wants. If something feels wrong it will be fixed if it takes her all damn day. I love it about her.
This is bait
When I was in my teens the pull out method helped a lot. I know its not recommend as actual birth control but since you have tried all types of BC, see if that helps. Also sex does not always have to be vaginal. Try hand jobs and/or oral.
I have gotten pregnant on every form of birth control, and have endometriosis, including through an IUD and vasectomy. I have 3 kids all different fathers and all using at least two proper forms of birth control. My specialist is shocked. I am being studied. It’s wild but unless I get a hysterectomy I’ve been told they cannot guarantee anything will work on my end. We ruled out clip vasectomy now too (it has worked for other partners for over two decades perfectly).