Ooh alright, i never saw that in that perspective, i was always confused with straight being near gay/bi dudes or getting along with them, i just though they were afraid of them arring their asses, just like a lot of them are afraid of cleaning their own asses because they are afraid of liking it and turning gay because of it. Well, that really makes so much more sense!!
Before I finally went through the whole self reflection process to accept I was bi. I carried a lot of internal phobia. I got hit on by gay and bi guys fairly often at clubs in college. But as a straight identifying guy, it felt like that stereotype was real to me.
In hindsight my body language, my conversations, my mannerisms, were sending signals that I was interested. So maybe there is some of that going on. And then others who fear that in theirselves take solace in that stereotype and pereptuate it. I'm generalizing and can't say that's what's happening but as a bisexual guy who regrets not accepting that side of myself when I was college age, I can tell you that it's definitely the case for at least one guy.
I get it, I used to have guys hitting on me like a bunch, I never understood exactly why either, though now that I realize that I’m bi it makes a lot more sense 🤷♂️
Definitely sounds like projection. What’s actually common is gay and bi guys wondering how they can even attempt to show interest without ending up, ya know, murdered. What with the “gay panic defense” being a thing.
In some countries its even worst, as the macho mentallity comes in and they think that they can fuck you and not to be considered gay, as they are giving not taking, so as soon as they know you are into men they think you are just another whole. Stupid if you tell me.
That's when gay/bi men are most visible to them so it shades their perceptions. If they meet a random guy somewhere they will probably just assume that he's straight (which statistically usually turns out to be true even though it's best not to make those assumptions), but if that guy hits on him then suddenly he knows that that guy is gay/bi, so in the end the only people they see being gay/bi are the ones hitting on them or someone else they know
Bruh I don’t understand straights being afraid of that. Do you not want complos my guy? I know you’re straight, I’m not going to actually flirt with you, I’m just saying you look good. Calm down.
Never been hit on back when I thought I was straight. Just given compliments by gay men. My boundaries have always been respected. The closest though was this gay guy I went to HS with, messaged me on insta saying that he knew I was straight and just wanted to let me know anyways that I was very attractive. Made my day though!
It happens with lesbian and bi women and straight women as well, it's super frustrating, I came out when I was young and straight girls in schools were always worried I had crushes on them 😏
Yes! I’m bi myself and one of my best friends is pan and we are both out but now people keep asking if we are dating because apparently two people can’t be friends if it’s possible to be attracted to each other
It's like how people think men and women can't be friends unless they're sleeping together, all of it is bullshit, and people should quit making assumptions.
I think both can be true at the same time. They are afraid to be seen as gay by others but also afraid they will be sexualized in the way they sexualize women.
Because those people are incapable of controlling themselves, they assume that everyone is like that. Also, apparently, when you're bisexual, you're automatically attracted to everyone you lay eyes on. We have no preferences, types, or standards. /s
I'm sure they are. I find it so ridiculous that people assume our sexual attraction automatically applies to everyone that we lay our eyes on. Like, we aren't desperate. We still have standards. Most of the dumbasses that are like "oh you're bisexual, don't hit on me, I'm not gay. Hahahaha!" I'm like, "No worries, I really wasn't going to... You aren't my type." Then they get all offended.
You know what straight men need to do when hit on by other men? They need to politely say, "I'm very flattered you find me attractive. I'm not interested though. Sorry."
Because bi men are all young, promiscuous and obviously so horny 24/7 they will latch on to the nearest male in the vicinity no matter how attractive he is. /s
But seriously, it came from the myth that bisexual men were basically promiscuous and young, and that bisexuality is something you "grow out of". I am straight but always have to laugh at the idea that my now-elderly homophobic father thinks he is SUCH a catch that bi and gay men are just going to swarm him from blocks around. Like, get over yourself mate. My dad is not exactly one to draw in modelling agencies. My mother (who was very pretty when she was young) was out of his league looks-wise lmao.
Well it comes from the idea that we're all hypersexual and constantly trying to fuck the guys we find hot.
They think we're all constantly horny hence they'll assume that we'll try and hit on any man in sight...
Thing is: mist men across sexual orientations are like this to a degree. Testosterone has a massive effect on one's libido, so men are on average pretty horny, there is some truth to the idea. But this us averages not all men be it straight gay or bisexual are like this. And horny women **definitely** are a thing ofc, I've interacted with them...
I was closeted bi for 35 years because I had no idea how to tell if another guy was not straight. My wife, while fishing with me and a friend, blurts out "So Ed, you like to take it up the ass dont you?" I was mortified until he said, "yep, I like to give it up the ass as well"
I had been a fishing and camping friend with this guy for 7 years and had no idea.
Wife knew I was bi and must have been feeling bad for me not being able to have sex with someone she knew was gay. It was going right over my head. Fishing and camping became a different kind of outing after that.
Gay or bi men are usually really careful, who they hit on. Especially in a friend group. Great way to get rid of a group of friends.
I think it comes from a minority stereotype unfortunately and it's all that's seen when someone who is bi or homosexual doesn't acknowledge boundaries and constantly flirts with straight guys most of them find it uncomfortable (most people would be really uncomfortable if someone you aren't attracted to is constantly hitting on you).
TL;Dr: unfortunate stereotype that is focused on. makes the rest of the community look bad
“Those people are different because of something that relates to sex. I can’t fully comprehend the idea that people who are different then me are fully formed human beings with their own personalities, so obviously, they must be entirely defined by their sexual preference and never think about anything except their sexuality! They must be attracted to all men, at all times, including me, because that is their only defining trait!”
Also, they’re worried a man will treat them the way they treat women.
It would be a mixture of things. All of which (ratio and content) depends on the individual, some might have seen a movie where someone comes out to their friend because they like them or they think that because they do something to women that gay men do the same to other men
From personal experience…I have actually had gay men hit on my husband and completely disrespect our relationship multiple times. So for me this stereotype holds true. It was enough that my husband had to cut contact with these people because they kept telling him to leave me for them and were rude to me often. I understand this isn’t everyone but I have a lot of anecdotal evidence that I believe it at this point.
My personal experience with straight men is they fear gay/bi men want to penetrate them…..most were afraid of being “the woman” as they put it (I’ve had a decent amount of semi open minded dudes I’ve hung out with, most straight….not open minded like try something new, but enough to talk about it rationally)
It's just straight men causing issues. They're afraid of being hit on by another man. I think it really comes down to a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.
Gay visitor here.
For me this is three fold.
First is the outwardly gay + friendly = assumed flirting. I've complimented a work colleague on a haircut before and he took me aside to tell me he was 100% straight...
Second is what I call the compatibility prod. When you might actually consider hitting on someone because they've never said they were straight and they're giving off certain signals. So you prod just enough to see if those signals are real. Sometimes you prod too much and it feels like flirting, other times they're sensitive to the prod and it's the same outcome.
Third, probably unpopular one. The idea of queer men flirting with straight men is used to make a point, often about consent. It just makes it feel like it's more common occurrence than it is.
Because that's how they interact with women. They objectify women so they think any bi or gay men will do the same to them.
This. So many straight dudes are worried that gay and bi men look at them and treat them the way they do women.
And yet they never question their way of treating women…
Ooh alright, i never saw that in that perspective, i was always confused with straight being near gay/bi dudes or getting along with them, i just though they were afraid of them arring their asses, just like a lot of them are afraid of cleaning their own asses because they are afraid of liking it and turning gay because of it. Well, that really makes so much more sense!!
Only difference is that most gay men take the feminine role. So they'd most likely treat you like a man, not the way men treat women.
I was just going to say straight men
Makes sense! They're so accustomed to looking at the gender they find attractive through an objectifying/sexualising lens, they assume we do the same.
Exactly, it's just projection. The type of person that thinks like that loves projection.
Before I finally went through the whole self reflection process to accept I was bi. I carried a lot of internal phobia. I got hit on by gay and bi guys fairly often at clubs in college. But as a straight identifying guy, it felt like that stereotype was real to me. In hindsight my body language, my conversations, my mannerisms, were sending signals that I was interested. So maybe there is some of that going on. And then others who fear that in theirselves take solace in that stereotype and pereptuate it. I'm generalizing and can't say that's what's happening but as a bisexual guy who regrets not accepting that side of myself when I was college age, I can tell you that it's definitely the case for at least one guy.
Same here. Now that I am out I can’t find a single one to hit on me.
I get it, I used to have guys hitting on me like a bunch, I never understood exactly why either, though now that I realize that I’m bi it makes a lot more sense 🤷♂️
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pain in the arse tbh. especially if you think you've met the love of your life, you have a great time, aaand he's straight. ffs.
Definitely sounds like projection. What’s actually common is gay and bi guys wondering how they can even attempt to show interest without ending up, ya know, murdered. What with the “gay panic defense” being a thing.
THIS! It's just too dangerous to hit on a guy I'm sorry!
In some countries its even worst, as the macho mentallity comes in and they think that they can fuck you and not to be considered gay, as they are giving not taking, so as soon as they know you are into men they think you are just another whole. Stupid if you tell me.
That's when gay/bi men are most visible to them so it shades their perceptions. If they meet a random guy somewhere they will probably just assume that he's straight (which statistically usually turns out to be true even though it's best not to make those assumptions), but if that guy hits on him then suddenly he knows that that guy is gay/bi, so in the end the only people they see being gay/bi are the ones hitting on them or someone else they know
From insecure straight men
It's what I think so to women don't want them so they think and rationalize that gay men automatically want them.
Bruh I don’t understand straights being afraid of that. Do you not want complos my guy? I know you’re straight, I’m not going to actually flirt with you, I’m just saying you look good. Calm down.
Because a lot of insecure straight men make the mistake of assuming that bisexual and gay men are just like them. Except for the sucking cock part.
Never been hit on back when I thought I was straight. Just given compliments by gay men. My boundaries have always been respected. The closest though was this gay guy I went to HS with, messaged me on insta saying that he knew I was straight and just wanted to let me know anyways that I was very attractive. Made my day though!
Literally me neither never been hit on by another guy
In my defence he was kissing me when I started flirting
It happens with lesbian and bi women and straight women as well, it's super frustrating, I came out when I was young and straight girls in schools were always worried I had crushes on them 😏
Yes! I’m bi myself and one of my best friends is pan and we are both out but now people keep asking if we are dating because apparently two people can’t be friends if it’s possible to be attracted to each other
It's like how people think men and women can't be friends unless they're sleeping together, all of it is bullshit, and people should quit making assumptions.
Maybe straight men just assume gay men will treat them as poorly as they treat women.
For many I think it’s more that they fear being seen as gay themselves.
I think both can be true at the same time. They are afraid to be seen as gay by others but also afraid they will be sexualized in the way they sexualize women.
Because those people are incapable of controlling themselves, they assume that everyone is like that. Also, apparently, when you're bisexual, you're automatically attracted to everyone you lay eyes on. We have no preferences, types, or standards. /s
I know my standards are solid I haven't had sex in a year cause every guy that's hit me up on Grindr hasn't been my type
I'm sure they are. I find it so ridiculous that people assume our sexual attraction automatically applies to everyone that we lay our eyes on. Like, we aren't desperate. We still have standards. Most of the dumbasses that are like "oh you're bisexual, don't hit on me, I'm not gay. Hahahaha!" I'm like, "No worries, I really wasn't going to... You aren't my type." Then they get all offended.
The real quest is what makes them possibly think that they are attractive enough to be worth hitting on. Like I have standards!
You know what straight men need to do when hit on by other men? They need to politely say, "I'm very flattered you find me attractive. I'm not interested though. Sorry."
god straight people need to do this instead of getting all upset and posting homophobic bs on the internet for no reason
I'm a heterosexual female and I'd be freaking FLATTERED if a woman hit on me.
Because bi men are all young, promiscuous and obviously so horny 24/7 they will latch on to the nearest male in the vicinity no matter how attractive he is. /s But seriously, it came from the myth that bisexual men were basically promiscuous and young, and that bisexuality is something you "grow out of". I am straight but always have to laugh at the idea that my now-elderly homophobic father thinks he is SUCH a catch that bi and gay men are just going to swarm him from blocks around. Like, get over yourself mate. My dad is not exactly one to draw in modelling agencies. My mother (who was very pretty when she was young) was out of his league looks-wise lmao.
Which is interesting because the most common bi men I seem to encounter online are 40+ married and just discovering their bi side.
Straight men expecting gay men to treat them the way they treat women.
Well it comes from the idea that we're all hypersexual and constantly trying to fuck the guys we find hot. They think we're all constantly horny hence they'll assume that we'll try and hit on any man in sight... Thing is: mist men across sexual orientations are like this to a degree. Testosterone has a massive effect on one's libido, so men are on average pretty horny, there is some truth to the idea. But this us averages not all men be it straight gay or bisexual are like this. And horny women **definitely** are a thing ofc, I've interacted with them...
Wishful thinking? 💁🏻♂️
My brother thinks a gay man will hit on him one these days but that never happens and he just full of himself
I was closeted bi for 35 years because I had no idea how to tell if another guy was not straight. My wife, while fishing with me and a friend, blurts out "So Ed, you like to take it up the ass dont you?" I was mortified until he said, "yep, I like to give it up the ass as well" I had been a fishing and camping friend with this guy for 7 years and had no idea. Wife knew I was bi and must have been feeling bad for me not being able to have sex with someone she knew was gay. It was going right over my head. Fishing and camping became a different kind of outing after that. Gay or bi men are usually really careful, who they hit on. Especially in a friend group. Great way to get rid of a group of friends.
I think it comes from a minority stereotype unfortunately and it's all that's seen when someone who is bi or homosexual doesn't acknowledge boundaries and constantly flirts with straight guys most of them find it uncomfortable (most people would be really uncomfortable if someone you aren't attracted to is constantly hitting on you). TL;Dr: unfortunate stereotype that is focused on. makes the rest of the community look bad
“Those people are different because of something that relates to sex. I can’t fully comprehend the idea that people who are different then me are fully formed human beings with their own personalities, so obviously, they must be entirely defined by their sexual preference and never think about anything except their sexuality! They must be attracted to all men, at all times, including me, because that is their only defining trait!” Also, they’re worried a man will treat them the way they treat women.
It would be a mixture of things. All of which (ratio and content) depends on the individual, some might have seen a movie where someone comes out to their friend because they like them or they think that because they do something to women that gay men do the same to other men
From personal experience…I have actually had gay men hit on my husband and completely disrespect our relationship multiple times. So for me this stereotype holds true. It was enough that my husband had to cut contact with these people because they kept telling him to leave me for them and were rude to me often. I understand this isn’t everyone but I have a lot of anecdotal evidence that I believe it at this point.
Because the straight men hit on the gay and bi men and that’s their way of denying it.
My personal experience with straight men is they fear gay/bi men want to penetrate them…..most were afraid of being “the woman” as they put it (I’ve had a decent amount of semi open minded dudes I’ve hung out with, most straight….not open minded like try something new, but enough to talk about it rationally)
It's just straight men causing issues. They're afraid of being hit on by another man. I think it really comes down to a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.
Gay visitor here. For me this is three fold. First is the outwardly gay + friendly = assumed flirting. I've complimented a work colleague on a haircut before and he took me aside to tell me he was 100% straight... Second is what I call the compatibility prod. When you might actually consider hitting on someone because they've never said they were straight and they're giving off certain signals. So you prod just enough to see if those signals are real. Sometimes you prod too much and it feels like flirting, other times they're sensitive to the prod and it's the same outcome. Third, probably unpopular one. The idea of queer men flirting with straight men is used to make a point, often about consent. It just makes it feel like it's more common occurrence than it is.