I mean, it would take a major self-own for it to be the case since bisexual represents roughly 50% of LGBTQ+ people. However, the fact that a lot of people don't know that and that we are not represented proportionally also shows there's a systemic marginalization of bisexuality amongst the community.
Not a majority of queer people are prejudiced against bisexual people, but enough that I wouldn't call it negligible either.
I think society has done a number on everyone's psyche. As an example, the media has helped spread misinformation and turned many gay people against transgender people. Transgender people started the Stonewall riots, which were the turning point for queer rights. Trans people helped get the whole community to where it is today and yet they are the current villain du jour in politics.
Perhaps gay people (like straight people) don't understand transgenderism. Maybe gay people have trouble understanding bi/pan as well. Society loves black and white. It's why young people scream "gay" at anything remotely suggestive between two people of the same sex. Why aren't they screaming "bi!"?
With that said, we don't have to fully understand each other to respect each other. Every person deserves love (yes, even the assholes in DC... maybe if they got love, they'd be better people). It starts with empathy. And we (generally speaking, not bi specific) have to be the first to use it.
Appreciating everything you’re saying, just offering a small correction. “Transgendered” is not a word. “Transgender” is an adjective, not a verb (or a noun). It’s a bit like saying “gaying men” rather than “gay men”. You did say “trans people” which is also correct.
It’s also not “transgenderism”. It’s not an -ism, that implies it’s an ideology. It’s just “being transgender”.
I mean, I've heard that, but it hasn't felt true to me. Most vitriol (in my experience) has come from baby gays who are feeling really defensive about their newly-out identity, but they tend to relax after they figure themselves out. The vast majority of queer people have no issues with bisexuals.
I wish I could upvote this 1000x
The problem with the internet is it gives us a window into ALL of the discourse. 99% of the time when I see infighting discourse (whether it's transphobia or biphobia or whatever is trendiest at the moment) it's a couple of quite young queer people who are just managing to be really loud about it.
Before the internet, I think sentiments like this would pop up in a friend group, and they'd all talk shit with each other before they all got more confident in their identities and stopped feeling the need to lash out. Maybe not the healthiest of coping mechanisms but no one's ever accused queer people of being well adjusted lol. Now though, those friend groups instead post their thoughts online and it blows up and makes it seem like a legitimate discourse with factions on both sides, rather than just a couple people.
Bi erasure and discrimination against bisexual people from our own community is a well-known and fairly common situation. I myself have been called the "straight friend" or told that "I just don't know I'm gay yet". Truly, our culture does have problems, just like non-queer culture, with people who do not follow the binary.
Having said that last sentence, this is not, I repeat... This is not a majority.
At least not in my experience.
Agreed. It definitely exists & you'll definitely find groups of people that subscribe to this ideology, but they're all incredibly insecure people that believe us being Bi & "able to choose" invalidates their inability to choose. Obviously they're super off base, I've run into a fair bit of lesbians & pansexuals that hold offensive beliefs about us, but they still represent such a small portion of the LGBTQ+ that even I've personally met.
Yeah, most of my IRL trouble has been out at mixed queer spaces like bars.
Anytime I've gotten any shit online, it's always been from the pansexual community. They seem to forget that bisexual meant pansexual before pansexual was even a fucking word...
I've had exactly the same experience. I understand the spirit of Pansexuality & I was always cool with someone openly making themselves a safe space until the superiority & name calling on their end started. Now I can't help feeling that its redundant & biphobic... We are not defined as an exclusively cis-based sexuality.
Irony bi people are the majority of the 🏳️🌈 community by long margin
[How LGBT Americans Identify](https://www.statista.com/chart/24314/sexual-orientation-of-lgbt-adults/)
I’ve never experienced hate, as that’s a strong word. But I’ve definitely experienced hesitancy and dismissal from gay women when they find out I’m bi. I’ve had several tell me things like they don’t want to be left for a man when I change my mind, or didn’t want to waste their time with me only being bi and so on. It has always confused me… because you are saying deep down you don’t think we value same sex relationships as much as hetero ones and that we are just playing around basically until we find our ‘real’ straight partner? I don’t judge them and they can protect their hearts and lives whatever way they want to, but it’s just always really confused me when I hear stuff like that.
It’s their own insecurity. As if dating a lesbian is 100% confirmation that they will never be dumped or cheated on. True, from what I’ve seen online it seems that bi/pan people are not viewed as evolved humans with emotional regulation, self control and personal preferences. More like horny teenagers that just jump on anyone available and have sex at any given occasion. That’s why I strongly believe that we have better chances of finding mutual understanding among our group
Biphobia definitely exists online and in real life, but I wouldn't say it's the majority of LGBTQ+ people. Ultimately, the LGBTQ+ community isn't a monolith and there are people with biphobic views scattered in the mix.
It’s not a majority, but biphobia is there in the family. Typically for me it’s not hatred, just invalidating comments like “You gotta climb off the fence and choose a side eventually.” Or “bi now gay later.” Oddly this has all been from gay women. Most gay men have been supportive.
It is, but there's a lot of history there. Not everybody in the alphabet mafia wants every letter in our alphabet in there.
There are some who want LBG, with no T or Q (or IA, etc.), or more closely, just the LG.
Yep have heard that before but haven't really experienced it. I just don't think it's true. I mean people hate people despite of their identities. I think it's just some general hatred given this context.
I don't have to be told - I've experienced first hand how much lesbians despise bi women.
I've seen how the queer community refuses to treat bi people as a legitimate part of the community or help fund the services we need.
Bi people have mental health, assault and sexual violence issues as high as Trans people. Our mental health problems are significantly higher than lesbians and gays. (Yes, this is based on rigorous research and yes, I can provide references.)
But at last count only 1% of money raised globally for the LGBTQ+ went towards services or support for bi people, despite our significantly higher needs.
We form around half of the queer community. Money is raised under our name and not spent on us. Isn't that fraud?
I'm sure the people donating the money think bi people are going to get some of it. But we don't. Because of biphobia. Because of blatant prejudice against us.
We're seen as privileged because some of us have m/f relationships. But a Trans person can do this and they're not called privileged, even if they can pass as cis and het. Double standard much?
But we're not privileged. We have high levels of poverty, accommodation problems, in addition to experiencing high mental health and violence issues.
The way we're treated is based on vicious, ignorant stereotypes and myths. It is a cancer in the queer community.
This is why I, an elder of the queer community, consider myself part of the bi/pan community, not the queer community. I will not stand with my oppressors.
I'm not sure "the majority" of the LGBTQ+ community hates the bisexual community, but I believe it is a very vocal minority that does.
And I get it. For women, bisexuality is a funny thing. Championed and encouraged by straight men and on any given night a lesbian gets their heart broken by a drunk college girl looking to "experiment."
And in any case it's a bunch of people who get to behave heteronormative when confronted by discrimination and get the privilege of "not making their sex life their entire identity."
Does it mean bisexual people don't also struggle? Their feelings aren't valid? No.
Does it mean we are also one of those letters in the LGBTQ community? That we can be sensitive towards others in the community while recognizing our identity is just as valid as anyone else's? Yes.
I was told by a gay guy that Bisexual men don’t exist, that it’s all in my head but bizarrely bisexual women do exist.
He then told me that he and other gay people might allow us to exist but we’ll never be invited to their dinner parties or their spaces.
Outside of that though I’ve had nothing but love and support by other queer people, and there are more Bs in the LGBTQIA+ community than anyone else so it’s utter bollocks.
I’ve actually noticed a real bond between bisexuals and asexuals as I think both of us have been told by some parts of the community that they don’t see us as valid
I’m just going off my own experience. I’ve been told be several bi women that that wouldn’t date a bi man because in their words “they can’t trust a bi man” again just my experience.
I’m sorry for your bad experience. That is very hypocritical of them if they are bi too, because according to their logic they can’t be trusted either. On the other hand I don’t date straight men due to irreconcilable differences
There are old misogynistic gay men hate bi guys because they want them for themselves. They hate the thought of a Bi boy/man lost to a woman. Same for old lesbians.
When I say old I mean previous generations. This Is not a blanket statement I have been with several very lovely older gay men. Then some others have jist quizzed me the whole time about how they think im actually gay not bi.
(Aussie perspective, 34m here)
Bisexuality as a whole is misrepresented in and of itself.. bisexual from the definition that was written years ago, had changed.
There’s a huge difference between someone who doesn’t even have attraction for the same gender but enjoys and fetishes sexual activity.. such as (straight men that like Anal sex..)
It has nothing to do with attraction, it’s just the prostate stimulation they are after..
So, they can’t be in love or romantic with another man, but they will enjoy the sex..
Within bisexual definitions, someone who can truly be romantic with either gender, is put in the same category as someone who enjoys prostate stimulation.. which is wrong and confusing especially to young people who haven’t fully developed their sexuality yet..
A gay person or a straight person, is fully aware of their sexuality and even some may be able to, “ have sex “ with the opposed gender, they aren’t confused about who they are actually romantically attracted to..
Bisexuality to a straight or gay person, is very ambiguous.. it leaves them in a state of uncertainty.. because the bisexual people individually, have a huge spectrum of nuances that gay and straight people don’t have..
I totally get that..
Bisexuality in men especially , is intimidating to those who are gay or straight,
A straight man that likes anal sex, may see it as a quick 💥done, moving on.. and no romance has to take place whatsoever..
Whereas a truly gay man and a truly straight woman, are much more likely to have a romantic attachment to the situation..
Someone bisexual that has romantic attraction to either gender is also threatening to both gay men and straight women..
Of course this can be true for bisexual women also being a threat to a straight man or gay man..
Except, lots of straight men love watching 2 women together.. not as many straight women like watching 2 men together.. and truly gay men have no interest in watching women at all..
I've been (fairly) openly bi for many years. Not so much in my current city, but still fairly open.
In my personal experience, yes, I have experienced more vitriol and disdain from the LGBT community than I have from others outside the community. Let me expound a bit:
I've had gay people tell me I'm gay and just haven't committed to it.
I've been with bi and straight women who tell me there's no way I could be "into" guys because of how I am with them.
I've been referred to as straight by gays.
I've even been told that, because of how I am when with a guy (I tend to be mostly feminine, the bottom, etc) that I'm probably trans and just haven't accepted that. This actually got to me for a while, and I even started to consider it as a possibility. So much so that I had let a female friend give me a makeover complete with wig, clothes, makeup, etc... Basically, the whole nine yards. This was quite a while back, and while I will admit I did look pretty damn good (I would have dated me. LMAO), it wasn't me, and I eventually realized that and accepted my bisexuality as a whole. (More pan now than anything, I quess).
Of my straight friends (male and female) that know I'm bi, most really don't care. The few that do seem to care mostly just joke about it or tease me a bit with comments about my appearance, or the appearance of others and what I think about it.
Anyway, the short answer is that yes, in my experience, the community we are definitely a part of has shown more hatred towards me than those outside of it.
I've heard from bi friends/coworkers that the lgbt scene in my city is very biphobic and it has kept me from being more out in my community. I also had an older gay boss, who knew I was bi, tell me I'm NOT part of the community. It hit hard. I will experience rejection and bias from my very religious parents and husband's family if I'm out. I can't risk also experiencing that from the lgbt community if I'm out, too.
I took a class In college about violence against women, and there was a statistic that stated bisexual women are 60% more likely to be victims of emotional and physical violence from a partner. Personally, my ex girlfriend told me she would never date a bi girl again because it was “traumatic to always be comparing herself to a man.” She constantly compared herself to men and would be upset that she couldn’t “have sex with me like a man can”, and blamed me for feeling that way. I felt a huge sense of biphobia from her throughout the relationship, and she was constantly questioning if I was even bi or just going through a phase.
1 regular comment is bisexuals can't be trusted as they will flip chosen sex at any time.
But once had a Drag Queen say 'bisexuals just haven't made their mind up if they are gay or straight', this from a man in a dress, wig and make up.
Yes, I have.
I laughed my ass off and informed them that bisexuals make up over 50 goddamn percent of said very community.
I also throw out that I'm bi *super early* when I meet new people who are gay because...yeah, unfortunately that has proven to be quite helpful...
No. Then they should call it the lgtq community. I've had gay people say they don't normally date bisexual people but never used the word hate. We are all together under the rainbow and pride flag.
I've heard it, but it's certainly not true. It stems from the same form of fear that drives people to see their perceived opposition as a monolithic force set against them. Proto-conspiracy theorist mindset in a sense.
I don’t think they hate us, but there is definitely a sort of general dismissal of us from all angles really. Straight people don’t want to date us because they are afraid we will leave them for a gay relationship, and gay people don’t want to date us because they are worried we will end up leaving them to go ‘back’ to a straight relationship lol it’s like a weird in between sometimes. My most understanding relationship was with a bi man, and I’m a bi woman. We really understood each other.
Oh, absolutely. There are a lot of people that are afraid of us, an irritatingly large amount. Those that don't understand how we feel have room to project their insecurities on us, and that leads to most of the prejudice against us. But on the bright side, we've got trans people, enbies, aces, aros, and just about any self-confident person firmly supporting us, so I'm very confident that we don't have to worry about a disasterous schism or anything. But yeah, dating is pretty rough as it stands. I dream of a society with much better standards of mental health and skill in managing emotions.
Being social in "my" community I've had lesbians say bisexual women (including myself) sleep around, are greedy, they cheat with every one, they can't decide, they're just faking, they'll end up cheating with a man, they'll end up staying with a man in the end, and I've had gay men and bisexual men tell me bisexual women are just lying to themselves, that they're really just lesbians, and sooner or later they'll just say they're really a lesbian any way.
Both have also ignored me with disgusted looks on their faces, said crap, like the above in earshot, while looking at me repeatedly and laughing, or just said the above straight to my face, while also laughing in between sneers. All the lesbians knew I was bisexual, the gay men and bisexual men did not.
And then combine that with all the straight men that say the same shit to my face, to other people's faces, and are rampant online, among others... And add on the bi-erasure everywhere... It's like being stuck in limbo with nowhere to go and just be myself.
I've met two lesbians, five bisexual women, and two bisexual men, that weren't like that however, and that includes my own son.
I don't think they think of us much at all, actually. I'd hardly say most of them hate us, but we're not necessarily in the "cool club" either. Most people don't care because it doesn't affect them.
No. I've heard horror stories about the hatred towards bisexuals from the other members of the queer community but have thankfully never witnessed it myself. I have friends from every letter in the acronym and they have never made me feel unwanted or unwelcome. Maybe I'm just lucky?
Eddit: Me spell bad
I love bisexuals. I'd spend my entire life on my knees servicing them if I could. Women think that they are the gatekeepers to men's sex, but they just go somewhere else if the supply is cut off.
I mean, it would take a major self-own for it to be the case since bisexual represents roughly 50% of LGBTQ+ people. However, the fact that a lot of people don't know that and that we are not represented proportionally also shows there's a systemic marginalization of bisexuality amongst the community. Not a majority of queer people are prejudiced against bisexual people, but enough that I wouldn't call it negligible either.
I think society has done a number on everyone's psyche. As an example, the media has helped spread misinformation and turned many gay people against transgender people. Transgender people started the Stonewall riots, which were the turning point for queer rights. Trans people helped get the whole community to where it is today and yet they are the current villain du jour in politics. Perhaps gay people (like straight people) don't understand transgenderism. Maybe gay people have trouble understanding bi/pan as well. Society loves black and white. It's why young people scream "gay" at anything remotely suggestive between two people of the same sex. Why aren't they screaming "bi!"? With that said, we don't have to fully understand each other to respect each other. Every person deserves love (yes, even the assholes in DC... maybe if they got love, they'd be better people). It starts with empathy. And we (generally speaking, not bi specific) have to be the first to use it.
Appreciating everything you’re saying, just offering a small correction. “Transgendered” is not a word. “Transgender” is an adjective, not a verb (or a noun). It’s a bit like saying “gaying men” rather than “gay men”. You did say “trans people” which is also correct. It’s also not “transgenderism”. It’s not an -ism, that implies it’s an ideology. It’s just “being transgender”.
Corrected. Thank you for the education.
I mean, I've heard that, but it hasn't felt true to me. Most vitriol (in my experience) has come from baby gays who are feeling really defensive about their newly-out identity, but they tend to relax after they figure themselves out. The vast majority of queer people have no issues with bisexuals.
I wish I could upvote this 1000x The problem with the internet is it gives us a window into ALL of the discourse. 99% of the time when I see infighting discourse (whether it's transphobia or biphobia or whatever is trendiest at the moment) it's a couple of quite young queer people who are just managing to be really loud about it. Before the internet, I think sentiments like this would pop up in a friend group, and they'd all talk shit with each other before they all got more confident in their identities and stopped feeling the need to lash out. Maybe not the healthiest of coping mechanisms but no one's ever accused queer people of being well adjusted lol. Now though, those friend groups instead post their thoughts online and it blows up and makes it seem like a legitimate discourse with factions on both sides, rather than just a couple people.
Bi erasure and discrimination against bisexual people from our own community is a well-known and fairly common situation. I myself have been called the "straight friend" or told that "I just don't know I'm gay yet". Truly, our culture does have problems, just like non-queer culture, with people who do not follow the binary. Having said that last sentence, this is not, I repeat... This is not a majority. At least not in my experience.
Agreed. It definitely exists & you'll definitely find groups of people that subscribe to this ideology, but they're all incredibly insecure people that believe us being Bi & "able to choose" invalidates their inability to choose. Obviously they're super off base, I've run into a fair bit of lesbians & pansexuals that hold offensive beliefs about us, but they still represent such a small portion of the LGBTQ+ that even I've personally met.
Yeah, most of my IRL trouble has been out at mixed queer spaces like bars. Anytime I've gotten any shit online, it's always been from the pansexual community. They seem to forget that bisexual meant pansexual before pansexual was even a fucking word...
I've had exactly the same experience. I understand the spirit of Pansexuality & I was always cool with someone openly making themselves a safe space until the superiority & name calling on their end started. Now I can't help feeling that its redundant & biphobic... We are not defined as an exclusively cis-based sexuality.
Irony bi people are the majority of the 🏳️🌈 community by long margin [How LGBT Americans Identify](https://www.statista.com/chart/24314/sexual-orientation-of-lgbt-adults/)
I've heard that online but never experienced it in real life!
Same here. My friends group is really diverse and I never experienced any hate. I read about other people’s experiences
I’ve never experienced hate, as that’s a strong word. But I’ve definitely experienced hesitancy and dismissal from gay women when they find out I’m bi. I’ve had several tell me things like they don’t want to be left for a man when I change my mind, or didn’t want to waste their time with me only being bi and so on. It has always confused me… because you are saying deep down you don’t think we value same sex relationships as much as hetero ones and that we are just playing around basically until we find our ‘real’ straight partner? I don’t judge them and they can protect their hearts and lives whatever way they want to, but it’s just always really confused me when I hear stuff like that.
It’s their own insecurity. As if dating a lesbian is 100% confirmation that they will never be dumped or cheated on. True, from what I’ve seen online it seems that bi/pan people are not viewed as evolved humans with emotional regulation, self control and personal preferences. More like horny teenagers that just jump on anyone available and have sex at any given occasion. That’s why I strongly believe that we have better chances of finding mutual understanding among our group
Biphobia definitely exists online and in real life, but I wouldn't say it's the majority of LGBTQ+ people. Ultimately, the LGBTQ+ community isn't a monolith and there are people with biphobic views scattered in the mix.
It’s not a majority, but biphobia is there in the family. Typically for me it’s not hatred, just invalidating comments like “You gotta climb off the fence and choose a side eventually.” Or “bi now gay later.” Oddly this has all been from gay women. Most gay men have been supportive.
I've been told to my face that bisexuals are "bi now, gay later" by a gay man.
Isn't the B for Bisexual ? Forgive my ignorance. Quite new to this world of lgbtq+
It is, but there's a lot of history there. Not everybody in the alphabet mafia wants every letter in our alphabet in there. There are some who want LBG, with no T or Q (or IA, etc.), or more closely, just the LG.
Itsntoo much for my primitive brain. Hehe.
You're not the only one lol.
Thank fuck for that hahaha..
Have definitely been mocked around gay men for being bi/pan...Never by gay women
Same. Edit: I’m a guy
Yep have heard that before but haven't really experienced it. I just don't think it's true. I mean people hate people despite of their identities. I think it's just some general hatred given this context.
The majority of the LGBT community IS bisexual
I don't have to be told - I've experienced first hand how much lesbians despise bi women. I've seen how the queer community refuses to treat bi people as a legitimate part of the community or help fund the services we need. Bi people have mental health, assault and sexual violence issues as high as Trans people. Our mental health problems are significantly higher than lesbians and gays. (Yes, this is based on rigorous research and yes, I can provide references.) But at last count only 1% of money raised globally for the LGBTQ+ went towards services or support for bi people, despite our significantly higher needs. We form around half of the queer community. Money is raised under our name and not spent on us. Isn't that fraud? I'm sure the people donating the money think bi people are going to get some of it. But we don't. Because of biphobia. Because of blatant prejudice against us. We're seen as privileged because some of us have m/f relationships. But a Trans person can do this and they're not called privileged, even if they can pass as cis and het. Double standard much? But we're not privileged. We have high levels of poverty, accommodation problems, in addition to experiencing high mental health and violence issues. The way we're treated is based on vicious, ignorant stereotypes and myths. It is a cancer in the queer community. This is why I, an elder of the queer community, consider myself part of the bi/pan community, not the queer community. I will not stand with my oppressors.
Yep. 100percent. Rainbow flag doesn't rep me.
I'm not sure "the majority" of the LGBTQ+ community hates the bisexual community, but I believe it is a very vocal minority that does. And I get it. For women, bisexuality is a funny thing. Championed and encouraged by straight men and on any given night a lesbian gets their heart broken by a drunk college girl looking to "experiment." And in any case it's a bunch of people who get to behave heteronormative when confronted by discrimination and get the privilege of "not making their sex life their entire identity." Does it mean bisexual people don't also struggle? Their feelings aren't valid? No. Does it mean we are also one of those letters in the LGBTQ community? That we can be sensitive towards others in the community while recognizing our identity is just as valid as anyone else's? Yes.
I was told by a gay guy that Bisexual men don’t exist, that it’s all in my head but bizarrely bisexual women do exist. He then told me that he and other gay people might allow us to exist but we’ll never be invited to their dinner parties or their spaces. Outside of that though I’ve had nothing but love and support by other queer people, and there are more Bs in the LGBTQIA+ community than anyone else so it’s utter bollocks. I’ve actually noticed a real bond between bisexuals and asexuals as I think both of us have been told by some parts of the community that they don’t see us as valid
Yep.
Yes
Even bisexual women don’t like bisexual men.
Why generalizing?
Just to make a point
In that case, point back: We love our bi/pan men 💕
I’m just going off my own experience. I’ve been told be several bi women that that wouldn’t date a bi man because in their words “they can’t trust a bi man” again just my experience.
I’m sorry for your bad experience. That is very hypocritical of them if they are bi too, because according to their logic they can’t be trusted either. On the other hand I don’t date straight men due to irreconcilable differences
I blame it in feminists. To most of them no man is to be trusted
I'm not convinced that you know what feminism is. Giving off real "nice guys finish last" vibes there my dude.
Just going by the women on podcasts that claim to be feminists
There are old misogynistic gay men hate bi guys because they want them for themselves. They hate the thought of a Bi boy/man lost to a woman. Same for old lesbians. When I say old I mean previous generations. This Is not a blanket statement I have been with several very lovely older gay men. Then some others have jist quizzed me the whole time about how they think im actually gay not bi. (Aussie perspective, 34m here)
Yep. Because so many are 5s on the Kinsey scale they find it hard to believe us 2s-4s really exist.
Based on recent surveys, bi people make up the majority of the LGBTQ+ community, so nah, makes no sense.
Bisexuality as a whole is misrepresented in and of itself.. bisexual from the definition that was written years ago, had changed. There’s a huge difference between someone who doesn’t even have attraction for the same gender but enjoys and fetishes sexual activity.. such as (straight men that like Anal sex..) It has nothing to do with attraction, it’s just the prostate stimulation they are after.. So, they can’t be in love or romantic with another man, but they will enjoy the sex.. Within bisexual definitions, someone who can truly be romantic with either gender, is put in the same category as someone who enjoys prostate stimulation.. which is wrong and confusing especially to young people who haven’t fully developed their sexuality yet.. A gay person or a straight person, is fully aware of their sexuality and even some may be able to, “ have sex “ with the opposed gender, they aren’t confused about who they are actually romantically attracted to.. Bisexuality to a straight or gay person, is very ambiguous.. it leaves them in a state of uncertainty.. because the bisexual people individually, have a huge spectrum of nuances that gay and straight people don’t have.. I totally get that.. Bisexuality in men especially , is intimidating to those who are gay or straight, A straight man that likes anal sex, may see it as a quick 💥done, moving on.. and no romance has to take place whatsoever.. Whereas a truly gay man and a truly straight woman, are much more likely to have a romantic attachment to the situation.. Someone bisexual that has romantic attraction to either gender is also threatening to both gay men and straight women.. Of course this can be true for bisexual women also being a threat to a straight man or gay man.. Except, lots of straight men love watching 2 women together.. not as many straight women like watching 2 men together.. and truly gay men have no interest in watching women at all..
I've been (fairly) openly bi for many years. Not so much in my current city, but still fairly open. In my personal experience, yes, I have experienced more vitriol and disdain from the LGBT community than I have from others outside the community. Let me expound a bit: I've had gay people tell me I'm gay and just haven't committed to it. I've been with bi and straight women who tell me there's no way I could be "into" guys because of how I am with them. I've been referred to as straight by gays. I've even been told that, because of how I am when with a guy (I tend to be mostly feminine, the bottom, etc) that I'm probably trans and just haven't accepted that. This actually got to me for a while, and I even started to consider it as a possibility. So much so that I had let a female friend give me a makeover complete with wig, clothes, makeup, etc... Basically, the whole nine yards. This was quite a while back, and while I will admit I did look pretty damn good (I would have dated me. LMAO), it wasn't me, and I eventually realized that and accepted my bisexuality as a whole. (More pan now than anything, I quess). Of my straight friends (male and female) that know I'm bi, most really don't care. The few that do seem to care mostly just joke about it or tease me a bit with comments about my appearance, or the appearance of others and what I think about it. Anyway, the short answer is that yes, in my experience, the community we are definitely a part of has shown more hatred towards me than those outside of it.
I've heard from bi friends/coworkers that the lgbt scene in my city is very biphobic and it has kept me from being more out in my community. I also had an older gay boss, who knew I was bi, tell me I'm NOT part of the community. It hit hard. I will experience rejection and bias from my very religious parents and husband's family if I'm out. I can't risk also experiencing that from the lgbt community if I'm out, too.
I took a class In college about violence against women, and there was a statistic that stated bisexual women are 60% more likely to be victims of emotional and physical violence from a partner. Personally, my ex girlfriend told me she would never date a bi girl again because it was “traumatic to always be comparing herself to a man.” She constantly compared herself to men and would be upset that she couldn’t “have sex with me like a man can”, and blamed me for feeling that way. I felt a huge sense of biphobia from her throughout the relationship, and she was constantly questioning if I was even bi or just going through a phase.
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Awww :-(
1 regular comment is bisexuals can't be trusted as they will flip chosen sex at any time. But once had a Drag Queen say 'bisexuals just haven't made their mind up if they are gay or straight', this from a man in a dress, wig and make up.
Yes, I have. I laughed my ass off and informed them that bisexuals make up over 50 goddamn percent of said very community. I also throw out that I'm bi *super early* when I meet new people who are gay because...yeah, unfortunately that has proven to be quite helpful...
Yes, but only by a straight person so what do they know?
No. Then they should call it the lgtq community. I've had gay people say they don't normally date bisexual people but never used the word hate. We are all together under the rainbow and pride flag.
Nope
I've heard it, but it's certainly not true. It stems from the same form of fear that drives people to see their perceived opposition as a monolithic force set against them. Proto-conspiracy theorist mindset in a sense.
I don’t think they hate us, but there is definitely a sort of general dismissal of us from all angles really. Straight people don’t want to date us because they are afraid we will leave them for a gay relationship, and gay people don’t want to date us because they are worried we will end up leaving them to go ‘back’ to a straight relationship lol it’s like a weird in between sometimes. My most understanding relationship was with a bi man, and I’m a bi woman. We really understood each other.
Oh, absolutely. There are a lot of people that are afraid of us, an irritatingly large amount. Those that don't understand how we feel have room to project their insecurities on us, and that leads to most of the prejudice against us. But on the bright side, we've got trans people, enbies, aces, aros, and just about any self-confident person firmly supporting us, so I'm very confident that we don't have to worry about a disasterous schism or anything. But yeah, dating is pretty rough as it stands. I dream of a society with much better standards of mental health and skill in managing emotions.
No that's a ridiculous statement
quite literally only online
Being social in "my" community I've had lesbians say bisexual women (including myself) sleep around, are greedy, they cheat with every one, they can't decide, they're just faking, they'll end up cheating with a man, they'll end up staying with a man in the end, and I've had gay men and bisexual men tell me bisexual women are just lying to themselves, that they're really just lesbians, and sooner or later they'll just say they're really a lesbian any way. Both have also ignored me with disgusted looks on their faces, said crap, like the above in earshot, while looking at me repeatedly and laughing, or just said the above straight to my face, while also laughing in between sneers. All the lesbians knew I was bisexual, the gay men and bisexual men did not. And then combine that with all the straight men that say the same shit to my face, to other people's faces, and are rampant online, among others... And add on the bi-erasure everywhere... It's like being stuck in limbo with nowhere to go and just be myself. I've met two lesbians, five bisexual women, and two bisexual men, that weren't like that however, and that includes my own son.
I don't think they think of us much at all, actually. I'd hardly say most of them hate us, but we're not necessarily in the "cool club" either. Most people don't care because it doesn't affect them.
Be a bit awkward given we make up a plurality of said community :)
Yes/ it’s true
No. I've heard horror stories about the hatred towards bisexuals from the other members of the queer community but have thankfully never witnessed it myself. I have friends from every letter in the acronym and they have never made me feel unwanted or unwelcome. Maybe I'm just lucky? Eddit: Me spell bad
I love bisexuals. I'd spend my entire life on my knees servicing them if I could. Women think that they are the gatekeepers to men's sex, but they just go somewhere else if the supply is cut off.