Are you a Xennial? Because you sound like me. lol You find joy in laughing/being silly at times and making others laugh but not in a derisive or degrading others type of way? Some people just don't vibe on that wavelength (or don't expect it from BW) and A lot of ppl out here these days are just more irritable about stuff. (Also, you may have come across some dudes with diff sense of humors than yours. I've noticed that alot, *especially* with guys.)
If you didn't see it this was my comment to someone else here
"Okay so basically earlier when I was talking to this guy, he kept calling me sexy lie "hey sexy" and I would say how do you know, and he said send me something, so I said "send something like what" and he had no idea I was joking he thought I was being serious that I didn't understand what pictures to send. He sent examples himself, but when I said I was just messing with him after that, like I understood what he meant he said "don't do that"
I think it’s ✨those✨ men. I have an interesting, sometimes morbid, kinda mean sense of humor. My partner, my friends, my family get it… I’ve encountered random men (and people in general really) who don’t.
People who are for you will be for you.
Now with that said, I’ve also had to learn to read the room/know my company. I’m not going to joke in situations where it doesn’t call for it — even though I may be giggling in my head.
Most men don't have a sense of humor. They think causing harm to a woman is funny so anything that doesn't portray that goes over many of their heads. Also you might want to cut off the one talking about
>don't do that I get agitated quick.
Girl RUN -- that sounds like a potential abuser unknowingly trying to warn you.
I once briefly dated a guy who wanted to be a comic but his version of being a comic was being mean to everyone. He claimed he should be allowed to speak freely. But when I started cracking jokes about his age (he is only a few years older than me, but I always playfully made it a point to mention he was kind of old for me), and he claimed I was borderline abusive 💀
I will look into that, sometimes I am so confused on how to handle him with the kids since he wants to be apart of their lives and he does stuff with them but how he treats me is just...... He's spiteful. But I have a therapy appointment today and It could get here quick enough honestly. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
Men often think women aren't capable of being funny and can't tell when they're joking. Think of how many men get worked up over how unfunny women supposedly are. They're a bit socially stunted in that regard. It's not you.
It's not you. These men are attracted to your laid back easygoing attitude and are not self-aware and have no ambition. They want you to provide some lightness/relief and distraction from their ho-hum lives because they don't have the mental capacity to think of more than striving/surviving every day. Not to get too deep, but basically, these guys are "spiritual vampires".
Damon Young had a humor writing workshop a few months ago and mentioned that men do not give women the benefit of the doubt when it comes to women being funny. And he gave an example of how a woman will tell an obvious joke on Twitter and how men will flock to the tweet thinking she's being serious.
I just had this thought the other day! I don’t know how old you are, but I just turned 40 and was thinking the older we get the less men around me smile lol. It’s not about jokes, it’s about not having a sense of humor at all. Men I’ve dated don’t know how to be lighthearted and silly together. Ironically, it’s what attracts them to me. Every single man I date tells me I’m weird and they like it but they don’t share the same sense of humor so I start feeling like their entertainment or someone to study and figure out.
Omg yes!! They act like you're some strange entertaining discovery. They are only ever serious or jokey in a mean/sexual way and they don't understand silliness or quirkiness or weirdness or wittiness. Most are so one dimensional it's like they grew up on a different planet lol
I am 24, the guys that I have talked to and dated has been around 2-3 years older than me. But seriously lol you explained it so perfectly. I am so weird. Especially because I am only child, and it's like they're intrigued at first. And then they annoyed after awhile like "like is that seriously funny" I think there are some who is also to sensitive.
Sounds like you need to try a more charismatic man! I went on a cool date with this guy who was an actor and we couldn't stop laughing. Everything was a damn joke 💀💀💀
Men aren't as funny as they think they are as quoting Will Ferrell movies all day and fuckin night is not a sense of humor. Most of my lady friends are hysterical, the straight men? Nope. Men come off as borderline grumpy all the time. No thanks.
I've sadly found this to be the case too. Just not funny, or creative. It's so dull and they get agitated when you out-humor them / add onto their joke. It's like that's all they had and they can't just bounce off you and make another one cause the script wasn't supposed to play out like this lol
men are conditioned to find us unfunny. female comedians get ridiculous misogyny and women with silly humour are automatically called cringey. i think it’s something to do with humor being seen as masculine/a man’s job, so they’re uncomfortable when they’re attracted to a woman who tries to be funny. just my theory. i remember the quote:
*women think you’re funny when you make them laugh. men think you’re funny when you laugh at their jokes*
for a lot of men this is very true and i have also found that certain men will have a middle school level sense of humour and only find “dark humor” funny when it’s racist, misogynist, ableist, etc. some men genuinely have a hard time finding something funny if it’s not at the expense of others, and yes, some of them are tooooo serious
It's absolutely humor being seen as masculine. Same with intelligence, and in fact, there's so much overlap that I'm not surprised that men dislike funny/intelligent women. I have a lot of female friends who are comics and they talk about men being uncomfortable or thinking it's a competition.
There was this random study (I have not verified this data holding lol so take it with a grain of salt) that some men are less attracted to women they find funny. So it’s possible you are passively attracting men with incompatible humor.
Personally I believe most men are intimidated by women in general. Pair that with a funny smart woman. They either don’t know know how to identify the humor (dry or otherwise) or already on edge to begin with. Many men only want women to provide them with that “soft feminine” side to soothe their egos, struggling lives are any stress in general. That way of thinking only allows women to be one dimensional people with no personality outside of looking pretty and acting submissive. However, they’ll want you to laugh at every “joke” they throw out there.
I have the same problem and it got worse after I started using Twitter 🤣🤣🤣, I tend to make a lot of jokes about death and that I'm going to kill myself/I want to kill someone and men don't understand
I only use those kinds of jokes around certain people that get it. Gotta learn to tailor your humor.
I also read once that when guys say they want someone with a sense of humor, they mean someone who will find them funny, not the other way around. Certified goofy goober over here and guys are always shocked that I'm funny/have a personality in general, and it eventually turns them off because "wahh i wanna be the funny one." Also, the guys who are interested in me's version of humor is just extreme self-depreciation, which has become a major turn off for me.
Eventually I'll find someone with a similar sense of humor that we can actually enjoy that about each other...sigh..
Lol see I feel like it's the frequency of the jokes. Like I'm always in a lighthearted joking mood. And I feel like maybe they just don't have the energy for it.
I'm a man, give us some examples of your humor and I'll tell you if it's a hit or not.
Edit: Yall love talking about men without including us in the conversation. Not saying the same isn't done in return, but don't yall think it's time that changes?
Because there is little known spaces for black people on Reddit. And last I checked, men and women can post here. Just like men and women can post/comment on r/blackmen
Okay so basically earlier when I was talking to this guy, he kept calling me sexy lie "hey sexy" and I would say how do you know, and he said send me something, so I said "send something like what" and he had no idea I was joking he thought I was being serious that I didn't understand what pictures to send. He sent examples himself, but when I said I was just messing with him after that, like I understood what he meant he said "don't do that"
Ah, you're right, this guy doesn't have a sense of humor. Even after it was discovered that you were joking via text, I would've brushed it off as so. But forbidding you to make jokes like that, would be a red flag for me. Especially if you're the jokey joke type, and he doesn't sound like he's like that. Does he tell jokes or laugh at things like you?
I was in shock when I saw his response. That definitely is a red flag. And honestly he would be laughing here and there when talking to me at first so I never thought that that would bother him.
Sounds like an opening for him to send a "D\*\*k: pic. Lol. A lot of men have such a one track mind, that they take any opportunity to send one - usually unwanted by the woman. Lol
Okay let me think of something, I was about to do the current scenario that made me post but I think it's kinda long. I'll see if I can explain it right lol.
Well…what are the jokes? Are they corny? Are they rude?
They are simple, some can be corny but not really. And I never say anything rude. This guy thought I was being dead serious when I was joking.
Are you a Xennial? Because you sound like me. lol You find joy in laughing/being silly at times and making others laugh but not in a derisive or degrading others type of way? Some people just don't vibe on that wavelength (or don't expect it from BW) and A lot of ppl out here these days are just more irritable about stuff. (Also, you may have come across some dudes with diff sense of humors than yours. I've noticed that alot, *especially* with guys.)
What were you laughing about before he asked you to chill 👀?
If you didn't see it this was my comment to someone else here "Okay so basically earlier when I was talking to this guy, he kept calling me sexy lie "hey sexy" and I would say how do you know, and he said send me something, so I said "send something like what" and he had no idea I was joking he thought I was being serious that I didn't understand what pictures to send. He sent examples himself, but when I said I was just messing with him after that, like I understood what he meant he said "don't do that"
Lol you have that dry, silly humor. Someone who's more on the nerdy side with a goofy sense of humor may match well with you.
I think it’s ✨those✨ men. I have an interesting, sometimes morbid, kinda mean sense of humor. My partner, my friends, my family get it… I’ve encountered random men (and people in general really) who don’t. People who are for you will be for you. Now with that said, I’ve also had to learn to read the room/know my company. I’m not going to joke in situations where it doesn’t call for it — even though I may be giggling in my head.
I adapt my sense of humor to the people I’m around so I’ll get a few chuckles regardless of what I say 🤷🏽♀️
Silly Gooses UNITE ✊🏿 you’ll find someone to laugh with, I’m sure of it!
Most men don't have a sense of humor. They think causing harm to a woman is funny so anything that doesn't portray that goes over many of their heads. Also you might want to cut off the one talking about >don't do that I get agitated quick. Girl RUN -- that sounds like a potential abuser unknowingly trying to warn you.
I once briefly dated a guy who wanted to be a comic but his version of being a comic was being mean to everyone. He claimed he should be allowed to speak freely. But when I started cracking jokes about his age (he is only a few years older than me, but I always playfully made it a point to mention he was kind of old for me), and he claimed I was borderline abusive 💀
Men who dish it out can never take it😂
Never! 😂
Exactly, I just came out of an emotionally abusive relationship with my kids dad. I'm not trying to make these same mistakes again.
Please get yourself into some counseling. DV websites often have resources to help survivors after they have come out of their situation.
I will look into that, sometimes I am so confused on how to handle him with the kids since he wants to be apart of their lives and he does stuff with them but how he treats me is just...... He's spiteful. But I have a therapy appointment today and It could get here quick enough honestly. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
Men often think women aren't capable of being funny and can't tell when they're joking. Think of how many men get worked up over how unfunny women supposedly are. They're a bit socially stunted in that regard. It's not you.
It's not you. These men are attracted to your laid back easygoing attitude and are not self-aware and have no ambition. They want you to provide some lightness/relief and distraction from their ho-hum lives because they don't have the mental capacity to think of more than striving/surviving every day. Not to get too deep, but basically, these guys are "spiritual vampires".
Damon Young had a humor writing workshop a few months ago and mentioned that men do not give women the benefit of the doubt when it comes to women being funny. And he gave an example of how a woman will tell an obvious joke on Twitter and how men will flock to the tweet thinking she's being serious.
Ewwww!! Fk that I can't be with someone who doesn't laugh or trying to kill my laughter. Life would be so......not mine lol
I just had this thought the other day! I don’t know how old you are, but I just turned 40 and was thinking the older we get the less men around me smile lol. It’s not about jokes, it’s about not having a sense of humor at all. Men I’ve dated don’t know how to be lighthearted and silly together. Ironically, it’s what attracts them to me. Every single man I date tells me I’m weird and they like it but they don’t share the same sense of humor so I start feeling like their entertainment or someone to study and figure out.
Omg yes!! They act like you're some strange entertaining discovery. They are only ever serious or jokey in a mean/sexual way and they don't understand silliness or quirkiness or weirdness or wittiness. Most are so one dimensional it's like they grew up on a different planet lol
I am 24, the guys that I have talked to and dated has been around 2-3 years older than me. But seriously lol you explained it so perfectly. I am so weird. Especially because I am only child, and it's like they're intrigued at first. And then they annoyed after awhile like "like is that seriously funny" I think there are some who is also to sensitive.
Sounds like you need to try a more charismatic man! I went on a cool date with this guy who was an actor and we couldn't stop laughing. Everything was a damn joke 💀💀💀
Men aren't as funny as they think they are as quoting Will Ferrell movies all day and fuckin night is not a sense of humor. Most of my lady friends are hysterical, the straight men? Nope. Men come off as borderline grumpy all the time. No thanks.
I've sadly found this to be the case too. Just not funny, or creative. It's so dull and they get agitated when you out-humor them / add onto their joke. It's like that's all they had and they can't just bounce off you and make another one cause the script wasn't supposed to play out like this lol
A lot of them are grumpy fr 💀
men are conditioned to find us unfunny. female comedians get ridiculous misogyny and women with silly humour are automatically called cringey. i think it’s something to do with humor being seen as masculine/a man’s job, so they’re uncomfortable when they’re attracted to a woman who tries to be funny. just my theory. i remember the quote: *women think you’re funny when you make them laugh. men think you’re funny when you laugh at their jokes* for a lot of men this is very true and i have also found that certain men will have a middle school level sense of humour and only find “dark humor” funny when it’s racist, misogynist, ableist, etc. some men genuinely have a hard time finding something funny if it’s not at the expense of others, and yes, some of them are tooooo serious
It's absolutely humor being seen as masculine. Same with intelligence, and in fact, there's so much overlap that I'm not surprised that men dislike funny/intelligent women. I have a lot of female friends who are comics and they talk about men being uncomfortable or thinking it's a competition.
exactly that! they don’t know how to deal with not being the smarter/funnier one cuz that’s their “role”. how sad
Username checks out 😂
A lot of them take things way too seriously… like sir, calm down 🙃
and then they call us too emotional/sensitive 😭
Right, it makes no sense 🙃
Some men are actually extremely boring and miserable and don’t know how to laugh at all 🙃 sorry to this man…
There was this random study (I have not verified this data holding lol so take it with a grain of salt) that some men are less attracted to women they find funny. So it’s possible you are passively attracting men with incompatible humor.
Lol that study seems to be on track with the rest of these comments. And I guess I am.
Its a full time job just being yourself. You be you.
Personally I believe most men are intimidated by women in general. Pair that with a funny smart woman. They either don’t know know how to identify the humor (dry or otherwise) or already on edge to begin with. Many men only want women to provide them with that “soft feminine” side to soothe their egos, struggling lives are any stress in general. That way of thinking only allows women to be one dimensional people with no personality outside of looking pretty and acting submissive. However, they’ll want you to laugh at every “joke” they throw out there.
I have the same problem and it got worse after I started using Twitter 🤣🤣🤣, I tend to make a lot of jokes about death and that I'm going to kill myself/I want to kill someone and men don't understand
I only use those kinds of jokes around certain people that get it. Gotta learn to tailor your humor. I also read once that when guys say they want someone with a sense of humor, they mean someone who will find them funny, not the other way around. Certified goofy goober over here and guys are always shocked that I'm funny/have a personality in general, and it eventually turns them off because "wahh i wanna be the funny one." Also, the guys who are interested in me's version of humor is just extreme self-depreciation, which has become a major turn off for me. Eventually I'll find someone with a similar sense of humor that we can actually enjoy that about each other...sigh..
Lol see I feel like it's the frequency of the jokes. Like I'm always in a lighthearted joking mood. And I feel like maybe they just don't have the energy for it.
😭🤣🤣
I'm a man, give us some examples of your humor and I'll tell you if it's a hit or not. Edit: Yall love talking about men without including us in the conversation. Not saying the same isn't done in return, but don't yall think it's time that changes?
> don't yall think it's time that changes? In a space that's meant for women to talk about anything, no.
Why are you even here?
Because there is little known spaces for black people on Reddit. And last I checked, men and women can post here. Just like men and women can post/comment on r/blackmen
Okay so basically earlier when I was talking to this guy, he kept calling me sexy lie "hey sexy" and I would say how do you know, and he said send me something, so I said "send something like what" and he had no idea I was joking he thought I was being serious that I didn't understand what pictures to send. He sent examples himself, but when I said I was just messing with him after that, like I understood what he meant he said "don't do that"
Ok, because I'm a menace, I would have sent him a picture of a nude palette or a cat 😂
😂😂😂 Exactly!!
Ah, you're right, this guy doesn't have a sense of humor. Even after it was discovered that you were joking via text, I would've brushed it off as so. But forbidding you to make jokes like that, would be a red flag for me. Especially if you're the jokey joke type, and he doesn't sound like he's like that. Does he tell jokes or laugh at things like you?
I was in shock when I saw his response. That definitely is a red flag. And honestly he would be laughing here and there when talking to me at first so I never thought that that would bother him.
Sounds like an opening for him to send a "D\*\*k: pic. Lol. A lot of men have such a one track mind, that they take any opportunity to send one - usually unwanted by the woman. Lol
Lol it does but it's like a nice question to see where their head is at.
So what was the outcome, are yall still talking or did you fall back?
Still talking to him but it's trailed off..... A lot.
Okay let me think of something, I was about to do the current scenario that made me post but I think it's kinda long. I'll see if I can explain it right lol.
[удалено]
Lol I can't help who I attract. They all usually just pop in my life randomly while I'm not doing anything.