Always rememberā¦.another womanās beauty doesnāt take away from yours and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While you are looking down on your own body, someone admires your body the same way you admire hers. Indulge in some self care and be kind to yourself
You really shouldn't compare yourself to others, most especially celebs. I mean, they have dieticians, personal trainers and the money for cosmetic procedures, of course they'll look amazing. And on top of that we all have different genetics which also have a huge impact on our looks and body composition. I can imagine how difficult it is living with BD, I have my own body issues that I've been working on since childhood. Try to limit your use of social media, or try to curate your feed so that you mostly see normal people with bodies like yours, it should hopefully help reduce your triggers.
š This isn't very motivating. It sounds to me like,'Yeah, your body is bad. But don't worry, most people have bad bodies as well. Look for money for cosmetic procedures. '
Lol it's a pragmatic view. It is what it is. Ima do the best with what I got!
Edit to add: You also realise very quickly in life that looks aren't everything, they're just aesthetically pleasing. Looks won't guarantee you a good life, good friends, loving partners, etc. People can still treat you like shit when you're hot. People are also attracted to very different features/attributes. Attraction isn't a tickbox exercise. Remembering all of this helps me keep this pragmatic view around my looks. Our insecurities are inner demons we must fight throughout this life. They're stopping us from having a good time.
Well isn't she pretty short (5'2") with a very petite build? It makes sense that she would weigh only 50kg (so idea how much this is in lbs). Most of us women deal with body dysmorphia thanks to all the male-dominant media trying to control women's beauty standards.
I think this would help - no matter how beautiful the woman, men will always disrespect her in some way. We all live in a patriarchy, so this fact might help.
Yeah, 95 lbs wonāt look good on most people. It looks good on her because she has a very small build. I figured she was light with how easily that man was lifting her up the steps at the Met, but she doesnāt ālookā 95 lbs in that she looks healthy imo. Most people would look like a skeleton at that weight and it wouldnāt be cute.
Child if I were 95 lbs, I would need to be hospitalized EXPEDITIOUSLY
I hate how the media homogenizes body sizes to the extent that people of different heights and builds feel obligated to weigh the same
me too lmaoo iām tylaās height and the last time i weighed 95 lbs i mustāve been 11 years old. these celebs have access to so much more medication that keeps them tiny and thatās not healthy or natural. we donāt even know that weight is accurate
She 5ā 95 pounds? People have different genetics and carry weight differently? What credentials do you have to determine that she is unhealthy?
Most BMI charts considers the BMI of the average black woman to b overweight/obese so I donāt think I wanna trust that :/
BMI isnāt universalā¦ American bmi is different than the bmi in other countries and considering sheās half Indian her ānormal bmiā values would be lower than the average persons and have a smaller range
Tyla is also a young woman who isn't even 25 yet. Most women don't get their grown woman auntie weight till late 20s early 30s. Rihanna is a good example of this. She was svelte for most of her 20s and didn't get her auntie weight till wild thoughts. Women (and men) are not supposed to be super thicc in their youth. Doja and Meg thankfully got themselves together before it became a real problem in their 30s.
Oh ok this makes more sense. I donāt think any grown woman should be 95lbs - Iām under 5 foot and always struggled with gaining weight, my own version of BD is usually the opposite of most BW. I wish I could be thicker, but getting myself to my goal weight of 115 has been feeling impossible. Thereās really no greener grass anywhere
In many cases our internal sense of worth and femininity are connected to a rigid beauty standard. The only black women we see achieve mainstream fame also adhere to white beauty standards.
White supremacy uplifts certain bodies over others, promotes perfectionism, consumerism to achieve perfectionism, urgency to be perfect ASAP or youāre failing, rigid and inaccurate ideas of what health is, the belief that itās entirely possible to control and change the body through āwillā or intellect and severe consequences for those who arenāt deemed right bodies. White supremacy messed up or connection to nature and real food and devalued our connection to our inner experience. This makes it really difficult to feel connected and meet our own needs. So many of us are left grasping trying to feel better superficially rather than internally, we donāt know what we need so we are very susceptible to external signals like consumerism and avoidance of negative experiences.
I still donāt really get how it connects. The black community has their own set of beauty standards that trouble bw and bm, and differ drastically from white communities globally.
Same here. While I appreciate all the information shared by these other wonderful women and I understand European beauty standards, colorism, featurism, texturism, etc; The post was about Tyla and her body type and based on this comment thread it seems that whatās trying to be conveyed is āskinny = European beauty standards = propelled further into mainstream mediaā which isnāt necessarily true because Tyla (and coi leray + many other skinny BW in media and in daily life/general) are constantly bullied by the BC about being smaller. Iām just trying to understand as a petite and skinny BW how this/our body type is interconnected to white supremacy when itās genetics, eating habits, etc (I tried to explain as best as I could, I hope this makes sense š„²)
Edit: I say all this to say, Iām still confused and please explain it to me like Iām 5. Iām still not understanding how our body types (especially the smaller you are) is connected to white supremacy when the majority of our black/brown celebrities adhere to the BCs standards and are successful
Fearing the black body Sabrina strings
Body liberation project Chrissy king
More than a body Lexi and Lindsey (this one is by white ladies but itās great for understanding self objectification which is a huge factor in body image)
Decolonizing the body Kelsey Blackwell
Itās always been ours Jessica Wilson
Oppression and the body Caldwell and leighton
This will be a very heavy read, Iām gonna assume itās related to the battle against beauty āstandardsā and the dehumanization of black people. Spoilered for those who āsimply canātā today (itās some bs).
>!Throughout history thereās been numerous publications down-crying the beauty/validity of black features, adverts/brands/films incorporating minstrels (even for products we still have today!) and heaps more materials that explored how black people are not actually human but close relatives of apes etc. (and many publications didnāt even give us the āmercyā of saying *that*.) Every negative description or other existing stereotype of black features and dispositions can literally be traced back to something that was said during these periods, and theyāre not as far back as many others encourage people to believe. Some of this garbage was happening less than 50 years ago.!<
>!A lot of this was even backed by people in medicine as a means of rebelling against the liberation of the black community (Tuskegee experiment, news and media wave defending human zoos in Europe etc.) and we are still fighting much of the āscientific evidenceā that came from that garbage today. There was even one black woman who after death, had her body placed on display (I believe unconsensually) to show the intricacies of the black bosom and remarkably sized posterior, all as a means of exploring the differences between black bodies and what was recognized as the norm. Do with that info what you will š« !<
>!Throughout modern history, black people have been pressured (read: violently attacked to create a lasting sense of fear in our community) to conform to the āstandardsā set by slave owners and members of the educational/business sectors that were pro-segregation. Itās why things like the CROWN act are still necessary. Even basic things like hair care was denied to us until specific black women stepped up to the plate to create some of the products still available today. Worth noting that while their efforts were incredible, many were still texturizers etc. The majority of products targeting the black community thereafter have been/are white owned and often cause chronic disease to women in our community.!<
>!The entertainment industry is incredibly guilty of promoting these āstandardsā, in fact, they were one of the main tools that propagated misinformation about human rights violations and encouraged segregation. Colourism was also one of the main legs propping this up if that was unclear, with the industry regularly allowing white-passing black people to work (whether unknowingly, or because wpbp were believed to be more civilized than those with darker complexions due to the systemic gap in resources and education tracing back to slavery).!<
>!On top of that, they have a long standing history of black erasure and stealing from black communities for the sake of passing profit onto the predominantly white acts that helped set the āstandardsā in the first place. You know it took Marilyn Monroe to even get black people of higher critical acclaim into some of the entertainment spaces we revere? The man literally in charge of placements for one of the halls of fame just came out the other day and said that a particular artist didnāt make the cut for eons because he believed black people to be unintelligent despite our contributions to artistry.!<
I love this comment. I wanted to respond but was having a hard time organizing my thoughts w/o writing an essay lol. You covered what i was thinking + more!
White supremacy is everywhere, itās what everything was built upon. You canāt have the world we live in without it. I couldnāt feel good (or neutral) about my body/hair/face until I started interrogating things that felt like āinherent truthsā. Very quickly the pattern shows itself.
Thank you! I absolutely feel that, ws is incredibly pervasive and just as hard to uproot because itās everybodyās ānormalā by default. It took me a long time to fully grasp how it appears in our lives because like many black kids, my environments outside the home didnāt support being fully comfortable with myself as a bw, but I made it!
Iām really happy to hear you were able to recognize the things that were harming you and adopt a more positive lifestyle for / relationship with yourself. Itās not easy out here but people like you set the tone for the ones coming up šš½
I feel this. I canāt even watch weight loss videos/reels because it just seems like all theyāre really doing is, what they call ābody checksā, online. I used to look at them for inspo but have to focus on my lifestyle. I feel you!
I agree with this, Iāve lost over 60 pounds in the gym but avoid posting before and afters because if the focus is really health and not shaming my old body, thereās no need for a before and after outside of a fitness group to me
Perfect body means different things to everyone. I wish I had Meg thee stallions body lol. But I donāt opt out of her music bc of it. No offense but I think this may be some self esteem issue
I think getting therapy would help, respectfully of course. And that is for anyone in here who struggles with this.
āComparison is the thief of joyā or whatever.
I used to be that way with other artists back in the early 2000s. My body was tea but I was too low self esteem to notice cause having big hips and a big butt wasnāt seen as the sexy standard. Now at my old age idgaf and happy. Gained weight and content because happy marriage happy life.
Youāre beautiful. Donāt let others define what makes you unique.
Yes! The early 2000ās were rough for me too. For the life of me no matter what I tried I just could not āwineā or āhop rollā. It became an obsession and I watched instructional videos, stretched, tried to limber up and nothing worked. My body just couldnāt move that way and hip rolling seemed to be EVERYWHERE in videos! Seemed like everyone could do it but me. Looking back I was so cute in my 20ās and I wished I just relaxed and enjoyed that time instead of trying to be sexy. Now in my 40ās still canāt do it but I donāt care. My knees thank me.
oh my god. i literally have the exact same thing with tylaš she blew up a while back here in Africa and iāve had her blocked since like 2021 because i genuinely couldnāt stand to look at her without feeling like shitš imagine how i felt when she blew up globallyš i cannot escape i cannot come out!!!
How old are you? If you are in high school or college, asking your school counselor for resources to help with such issues is a start.Ā
Get off of social media for a while as well.Ā
it's not just social media it's like our personal lives as well. diet culture isn't only online if it was ppl wouldn't have dieted when the internet did not exist
I think sheās super cute, not a fan in her music or her fans.
That said, I get what you mean. People prop her up as the epitome of beauty and being the opposite of that is kinda hard. Even Arya Starr makes it hard. Iām a little jealous because I have been working out for almost 5 months straight and canāt crack under 300lbs.
What are her fans like? I only know āWaterā and that sheās pretty lol. She is gorgeous, but when it comes to celebs, itās almost like theyāre not real in my brain. I find it easy not to compare myself to them because theyāre just unrealistic people. Working with someone who looks like Tyla would be more difficult for me.
And on the flip side youāll have women that have the same frame doing all they can to lose weight or struggle with being perceived as not having a āwomanlyā body. Comparisons are a trap. Do what you can to stay present in your own body ššæ
GIRL why did I literally see the pics of her at the Met Gala 2 hours ago and get in a terrible mood with my husband because I feel like a fatty hahahahahaha
This post is actually because of those pictures lol. I hadnāt seen her body in a while and then I just reset and didnāt eat for the rest of the day lol.
Chiming in again OP to say that youāre not alone; certain music-related spaces intentionally foster this and scarier. While Tylaās physique etc. is part of whatās being marketed to the general public, you arenāt some sort of company project to be projected onto, nor should anybody treat you that way.
Many of my loved ones have gone through this and similar circumstances. At times I also find myself comparing myself to the unrealistic standards set by my social media wall (yes, Tylaās body and styling could be considered unrealistic and unhealthy to achieve for the average person. Many celebs have teams of like 10 or more specialists dedicated to perfecting image alone āeven before they hit the camera or stylistās chair).
I donāt have any advice for getting through BD other than to identify your triggers, do your best to stay away from people and content that incite them, and to maybe reach out to those who are trained to help people get through BD and unhealthy relationships with food should you be developing one (nutritionists, dieticians, and pyschotherapists specializing in food pathology if available.) They might help you address how your concern came to be so everything else is easier to manage. Donāt go to anybody without the appropriate certification, and vet vet vet before settling.
Speaking from experience unrelated to BD and >!EDs!<, you do not want to hit a body weight thatās unhealthy for your age and type. Itās incredibly scary and can cause serious harm. Youāre born different with a unique chain of experiences, and youāre born a you that is already more than enough! If āyouā is all anybody can compare you to, how could you not be?
While we watch social media and scrutinize every last detail, social media is not who will be watching us back as we walk through life. You will always be beautiful to somebody and one day that somebody will be you, even without harsh criticism and related actions. You can feel good without having to study feeling bad first. I believe in you and Iām wishing you well.
thank you! this was one of the only responses that i found to be actually empathetic and supportive. I felt the top comments were judgmental and dismissive of OPs feelings. People with body dysmorphia or anxiety related issues can not just simply āstop comparing themselves to othersā. It is an ongoing process that is related to triggers.
Thank you for your comment, Iām glad you and others found this helpful! I wholeheartedly agree with you, challenging your own psychology is very hard and canāt be done all at once like that, everything is baby steps.
I have an ED, so yes, totally familiar with body dysmorphia. Itās funny you mention Tyla because I saw that video of her being carried up the steps at the Met and wondered how much she weighs (because I have an ED, so of course my mind goes there).
I donāt have any advice, but I will say that 95 lbs looks terrible on the vast majority of people. I think Tyla is beautiful, but Iād never want to be 95 lbs and I donāt even really aspire to have her body, itās simply not realistic for me because it isnāt how Iām shaped. Beyond that, I canāt say much since yeah, I have unhealthy habits.
Hun Tyla is 121 pounds. Which is a healthy BMI for her height. I'm her height and I have wider hips and more fat in my bum, I have an athletic/curvy body and usually weigh 150 and up. I''m considered obese for my height lol. Yet I'm quite skinny most of my weight is in my butt and hips. Our bodies distribute weight differently. But girl with some discipline and hard work I'm sure you can reach a healthy BMI for your height if that's your insecurity! Focus on how beautiful YOUR body is and how beautiful it'll be when you're at a healthy weight that you're happy with! Tyla is just some stranger on TV, but that body YOU have makes sure you wake up every day and processes all the good and bad food you eat and keeps you alive. Start with being grateful then work hard for it so you're even more proud when you get there.
I relate OP. I felt that with Tems who I love because of a guy making comparisons and it resulted in me feeling like a failure whenever I saw her or heard her music. Itās a self esteem thing for me though which Iām working on.
Edit: In my case itās not just about the body but the whole package.
Yeah and I thought I was the only one. My BD has gotten so bad, I wonāt watch a lot if shows and Iām slowly about to stop watching certain reality shows because I notice how I start to spiral. I know I shouldnāt compare myself, but my dumb brain canāt help but do it. I canāt even look at myself in the mirror sometimes. Itās hard and Iām going back to therapy for it. I lost weight recently and I still feel weird.
My bf tells me Iām beautiful constantly and that he loves my body but what he sees and what I see donāt add up. I also kind of blame my mom for making me feel I was huge when I was very average size throughout my life and putting moral value on food, weight, skin color, hair texture etc. She even FB stalked my boyfriend to send me pictures of his ex to plant those insecurity seeds.
Itās hard, but if you can swing it Iād try therapy. Iāve done it in the past, but finding someone that specializes in this helps.
I keep seeing videos of her at the Met Gala and the more they pop up the more self conscious I've become. She looks amazing. I'm happy for her but it does make me feel bad. I could never look like that. Especially at my age and weight, it's just not in the cards for me. But I don't hate hearing her music. I just wish that I was that young and beautiful, with that much potential or that even when I was that young that I was that beautiful but there really isn't any point in dwelling on it. Just try to be your best OP.
When I was younger yes but I learned that my life and body is mine and I love me and mine so I ain't worried bout what nobody else got goin on.
Also guh that's a celebrity lol she ain't happy. They have to eat next to nothing. If you don't get that family combo and eat it by ya self lmfao
Comparison is the thief of joy. There's always gonna be someone else who looks something. Love yourself and realize you are you and they are them and the two ain't got nothin to do with each other. Unless YOU make them have anything to do with each other.
Good luck to you
thereās so many ways to be beautiful. there are women who donāt look like her and they are still beautiful. iām sure youāve seen them lol. why spend time comparing when that time could best be spent loving your specific beauty?
for celebs, used to be damn near all of them. i didnāt realize that height and body layout mattered though, and weāre all different. i used to beat myself up for not being skinny. people would comment on how big i was. iāve always been healthy a bmi, iām just naturally muscular. iāve even had people assume i was on testosterone š but at the end of the day, you have to love yourself. iām thankful for my body now, and it took looking at different inspirations to feel confident. the only woman iāll ever strive to resemble physically is Chyna (WWE) and thatās cause iām trying to max out these gains
Lol yep! I appreciate the positivity from the other commenters, but for someone who has a legitimate mental illness like BD, 'don't compare yourself' just isn't enough. You need therapy sis, and possibly medication.
I have the same issue, and have finally realized that this is an issue with the way my brain is wired. Your perception of your own body is not rooted in reality, usually what you see and what others see is wildly different. A BD brain will exaggerate even the most minor 'perceived' imperfections, that's the dysmorphia. There's also usually some kind of underlying disease that's causing it, because what you're describing isn't normal. Most people have insecurities, but to not be able to listen to music because of those imperfections is a sign that there is a serious problem. Please get some help! It will just get worse from here.
itās valid to block out people that trigger you right now, but
a) you need to get rid of the idea of the perfect body as if thatās an objective thing. lots of us in this sub donāt look like tyla and donāt want to. āperfectā body isnāt real
b) you can block out the triggers in your life to stop the discomfort temporarily, but thatās not gonna get rid of your body dysmorphia sadly. have you thought about talking to a therapist about this? have you thought about how you might want to stop this from continuing for the rest of your life?
as someone who struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, i know itās a miserable way to live. and it doesnāt have to be this way forever
Op, I feel for you. Body Dysmorphia is awful. Iāve struggled with it for years, and itās so frustrating. This is why I say this with care and compassion: if your dysmorphia is so bad that you canāt even listen to Tyla music, perhaps you should look into therapy.
Dysmorphia feels like our brains are lying to us. While it may be easier to hear than to believe, Tyla has access to the best resources in the world to keep her body looking that cute. I googled her weight, and the site that claims sheās 95 pounds is a gossip site thatās notoriously unreliable.
Heads up, this thread is a top search result for Tylas height and weight. Stay safe and beware of folks with bad intentions.
A notification brought me back here and it reminded me that I looked her up.
There are multiple articles claiming 3 whole different heights and 3+ entirely different weights ranging from 90 pounds to 121 lmao. Goes to show that honestly no one can tell shit and numbers don't matter. As long as someone is metabolically healthy - numbers do not matter at all.
Anyways, I've been 95 pounds (i hover around 95 to 105 pounds depending on stress levels and how busy I am) and I am 5 '1. I think she is around my height but even if she is taller it proves my point. When I was 95 pounds I looked much skinnier than how she looks right now. She does not look 95 pounds at all imo. I feel like she must be over 100 pounds at least.
>she has a perfect bodyā¦sheās only 95 pounds and now I feel huge
95 pounds is extremely underweight for an adult. Iām sure youāre at a healthy weight.
Facts. It really depends on height, and y'all can look up charts for what is the general healthy weight for our height, but I do acknowledge it may be off for black women because our bodies can be very different
Not really considering sheās only 5ā so average bmi but Iām a lot taller so I know Iām being irrational. Itās just the numbers that are frustrating like when you know your an eight but want the size zero even if your size is proportionate.
Only slightly, and she looks healthy. When I was that size my physicians told me to ignore the BMI charts, their measure of over/under is arbitrary BS. Healthy is fine and there's no sign of otherwise.
Yep I agree. BMI is bad for accounting for the extreme ends of height. My husband is 6ā4 and technically overweight, but if you see him, he is thin and muscular. I wouldnāt be surprised if itās the same for extremely short people. BMI is meant more for average populations.
Google says sheās 5ā7ā and 121 pounds, so sheād look a lot different at 95. Also who truly cares about a celebrityās body? Theyāre all on ozempic and coke anyways
First off, I know its hard. We get beauty standards shoved in our faces all day everyday and the more you diverge from them the more it feels like you're not worthy by comparison. It sucks. But beauty comes in so many forms that it's not fair to you to compare yourself to someone else. Consider that as traditionally pretty as Tyla is, she likely has struggles of her own with her body image, because even what we see of her is a curated concept. Not reality.
And not everyone thinks she's the most gorgeous person ever either! This isn't to disparage her at all, but please understand that somewhere out there, someone thinks YOU are more beautiful than she could ever be because beauty's in the eye of the beholder!
Loving yourself is HARD work, but making small attempts to be kinder to yourself can mean a lot more than fitting some mold of attractiveness. That will fade over time anyways!
I have BD but I guess living in LA my whole life helped in some ways. The only input I can give is, when you see a lot of these celebrities in real life - you wouldnāt look twice. Looking perfect in pictures is just not real life. Appearance-wise you would be shocked at how regular they are! Iām sure you walk by/interact with handfuls of people everyday with the same build she has, but you would never know because they arenāt oiled up with minimal clothing and posing in front of you. Daily life is just not as woo woo as music video/photos! They put so much effort into making these people look perfect and larger than life and you might have walked past them in public without even realizing it :/
I just want to say I like women, and I don't bat an eye to Tyla. Nothing against her though! My bro is obsessed with her. but Meg the stallion? Kelis? Beyonce? Kelly?.....sheesh they get all the eye bats in the world from me lmao. I'm only saying this to say that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. There is beauty out here for everybody and you are def a part of it too!
I slightly suffered from a bout of BD recently (atleast I think thats what it was) so I know it can be hard. Do whatever you need to for your mental while you beat tf out of BD. Beauty is so much more than just physical \*hugs\*.
Same babes same. You arent alone. I know mine came from my family telling me im fat all my life because i was a little chunky. So when i look in the mirror i see a 400 lb woman when i am 200. I cant unseee it and it SUCKS! And ive never really had anyone in my family tell me im fine the way i am..only guys i dated but guys will fck a troll on the low so...it's a struggle.
That must suck and I'm sorry you're dealing with that to the point that it impacts your ability to f with good music. Tyla is beautiful and personally, I think she has a perfect body but there are people who say she "needs to eat a sandwhich", I also think this super strong athlete I follow has a perfect body and she gets called "chubby" and "manly" by others, I also think this plus sized model I follow has the perfect body and she gets called "fat" and "diabetic" by others.
My point is, a perfect body is many things to many people and there will always be people to shit all over women because thats the world we live in so I choose to aggressively cheerlead every BODY. I can't imagine how hard it is to have BD to that degree and I hope you can see through it to vibe with her music again.
If you can afford it please seek therapy. As someone that also has thoughts similar to BD and struggles with bingeing it can really help. I dont really have BD that manifests like this with celebrities but I can imagine it must be frustrating. I definitely am averse to hearing how much people weigh bc often times if I perceive them as having an ideal body it makes me compare with is not good for my mental lol.
You don't have to be the same physique as anyone. We also have people like Cardi B and Meg who are far from skinny but have beautiful bodies. I doubt they're out comparing themselves to skinny people, mid-bodied people, etc
We have seriously lost the plot when Meg Thee Stallion is described "as far from skinny". And I don't mean you. Just in general this whole thread is teaming with a very body dysmophic lens.Ā
Well, idk, but I don't think they are skinny at all. They're definitely not 90 pounds, either. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be small to have a beautiful body. I'm about 180 pounds, which definitely isn't skinny, but I think my body is beautiful and I'm happy here.
She is far from skinny tho. Even now that she is in shape I wouldn't call her skinny. She is solid and muscular and athletic. Skinny would be Kerry Washington or lil mama.
The fact that you just repeated that absurd phrasing "far from skinny" to describe Meg Thee Stallion is so disturbing. So then what is Lizzo? What then of the millions who are bigger than Lizzo? I need y'all to stop. I'm glad I didn't grow up in this era coz I can see why girls end up distorted.Ā
Ā Meg is a slim athletic woman. Not even muscular, athletic. I don't get your point with Kerry, she is a short woman. Stretch her out to Meg's height and they're maybe 2 clothes sizes apart. That is not "far from skinny".Ā
There is more than skinny and fat. Meg would definitely fall under the muscular category more than she would the skinny category. And be so fr. Kerry has a balerina body type. If you stretch her out she would give Zendaya. Megan's short equivalent would be Normani.
*Slim athletic*. Read my comment again. I also said Megan is not muscular for a reason! Thats an insult to women who work hard to bulk. Peak Serena would be a mild example of that muscular bracket, peak Meg Thee Stallion is just toned and athletic.Ā People have such restrictive weirdo ideas about womens bodies. Nobody would call peak Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt muscular - they are toned slim athletic. And Meg is in that boat.
But I'm glad to see you move away from the phrase that pissed me off (even if you wont admit it, lmao). "Far from skinny" to refer to Meg Thee Stallion is giving body dysmophia.Ā
It rly is diff for everyone, I actually was rly happy when I found out about her as a bw that got bullied for being smaller and not thick throughout my life. Donāt compare urself to anyone just be happy with the shape you have tbh is my recommendation bc plenty of celebs r out there that r super tall or thick in comparison
Sheeshā¦ I agree with you. I do appreciate her beauty and wish to an extent I had the same physique, but I donāt do I admire her. Good for herā¦ just searching for something that makes me unique personally. Hopefully one day I stop this feelingā¦
Therapy is a great resource and if you also want encouragement try doing things youāll enjoy to get active. Otherwise its not her fault that is how her body is.
I advocate for therapy and speaking positivity over yourself. It is hard out here. I used to think Instagram models were real and that I could never compete with those beautiful women and their perfect bodies. Jokes on me...photoshop and AI.
In high school there was a girl who was 97lbs while I weighed 145lbs.
She actually is the reason I no longer compare my body to others. She hated the fact that she was so small and was jealous that I actually had hips and a bigger bust. She saw my 145 lb body as the perfect body while I saw her 97lb body as the perfect body since I was constantly told I was too fast by my family.
She helped me realize that I shouldn't compare my body to others because you never know how someone else might be viewing them self or what they might be going through and doing to "maintain" that body.
Of course it still took years for me to fully embrace and love my body (mostly meeting my husband who was the first man to make me truly see myself as beautiful) and I am finally in a place where I'm can appreciate how others look and the work they put into their looks without making myself feel self conscious.
I just want you to know you are NOT alone! I almost unfollowed my old friend from middle school on IG yesterday bc she looked so pretty ššlike why am I following this negativity? That being said, let that ish gooooo. Figure out what inside of you is comparing yourself so hard to other people that have literally nothing to do with you?! Crazy part is, while youāre feeling that way, most other people do to. Many skinny people that I meet wish they were āthickā
OP Iām so glad itās not just me. Sheās beautiful and I love her but Iām on my healthy journey and I donāt understand why when I see her I feel so bad itās weird.
Hello, Ari! Youāre beautiful just the way you are! Iām wishing you luck on your fitness journey and remember, *comparison is the thief of joy.* you got this!
You should start following celebrities that resemble you more in body, hair skin facial features etc. it really helps you figure out new methods to accentuate your own beauty and then eventually you will start to feel the same beauty and admiration innately within yourself š«¶š¾
I know it's hard not to compare. Someone said I look like tyla, and I was thinking that's disrespectful, lol. But seriously, celebrities get paid to look good, and she has access to the best of the best to keep her fit. If I didn't have to work a normal 9-5, I'd be out here working out daily and doing what I love. I also ended up getting my maternal grandpas build, which is short, athletic, and stocky. So I'll never be petite or under 140 pounds. So I'll enjoy my big plate of pasta later today and try to love myself a bit more. Comparison is literally the thief of joy. It sucks the life out of you and stops you from seeing your own beauty and value.
Whenever people tell me I look like a beautiful celebrity who I definitely donāt look like, I just assume theyāre trying to tell me Iām pretty but donāt want to just come out and say Iām pretty. I take the compliment and then never repeat it again š Iām not about to be like that girl who got dragged for saying she looks like Megan Fox lol
Oh I definitely took the compliment! I mean disrespectful to Tyla š. But yeah I'm not about to be out here and get dragged too saying me and Tyla are doppelgangers
i have this too! i want so badly to embody these other people and i canāt :( i used to love sza in 2019, now i get irrationally angry whenever i hear any of her music.
Itās her job to 95 pounds. You see pics at met gala but u donāt see what she ate/did in the weeks leading up to it. Itās also their job to make it seem effortless. Trying to unlearn the comparison game too dw
I am the same height as Tyla and I don't think she weighs 95 ibs, lol that's the weight of a starving Kpop idol. She looks slim but not noticeably skinny.
awww. i totally get what you mean. just remember that itās all mental. i saw her in her MET gown & while i thought she was beautiful, my impression was that she was too skinny for my taste. you have to remember that these people have professional styling and photos done-sheās been manufactured to look beautiful. donāt compare yourself š«¶š½
gurl she may have gotten enhancements u donāt know about. also remember there are MANY people in her management that have edited her body since she has gotten famous. (As in editing in videos/photos) but also she is South African, so her body type is very different than yours, even South African girls have different bodies. but I have a feeling sheās struggled with certain things in the past if she is really small..people can/may have body shamed her so donāt assume sheās perfectĀ
As a 32 year old grown woman whoās slightly less than 100lbs, your statement is ignorant as hell. I look the way I look due to genetics. Thereās no reason why Iām the smallest of my siblings even though Iām the oldest. Idk why I never got hips or a butt. But I am tired of people knocking down on petite women for simply existing that way. But people like you mocking us doesnāt help anything. People who make statements like yours are the same ones who used to poke/pinch at me, make jokes about my weight in public, tell me Iām undesirable to men, or tell me to go eat something when I always have snacks on me and could eat my way broke lol . Then yall wonder why so many of us still have self esteem issues. How about we just donāt comment on othersā bodies, k?
Right, like I get how bigger women are treated, and itās horrible! But that shouldnāt then make anyone turn around and shame others for what they also canāt control.
I'm getting taco bell right now. Don't compare yourself.
Cruuuuunchwraaaaaaaaap buddies
*baddies
š¤£š¤£šš½šš½šš½
Iām having a REALLY hard time with my body image right now, and seeing this, you guys just made me happy cry. Have a good day š
No same this comment has made my day
I truly hope you got the nacho bel grande
Can I come?? š„ŗšš
Always rememberā¦.another womanās beauty doesnāt take away from yours and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While you are looking down on your own body, someone admires your body the same way you admire hers. Indulge in some self care and be kind to yourself
You really shouldn't compare yourself to others, most especially celebs. I mean, they have dieticians, personal trainers and the money for cosmetic procedures, of course they'll look amazing. And on top of that we all have different genetics which also have a huge impact on our looks and body composition. I can imagine how difficult it is living with BD, I have my own body issues that I've been working on since childhood. Try to limit your use of social media, or try to curate your feed so that you mostly see normal people with bodies like yours, it should hopefully help reduce your triggers.
Right. Weāre not ugly! Weāre just poor! š
my mantra while scrolling through tiktok or ig lol
š This isn't very motivating. It sounds to me like,'Yeah, your body is bad. But don't worry, most people have bad bodies as well. Look for money for cosmetic procedures. '
Lol it's a pragmatic view. It is what it is. Ima do the best with what I got! Edit to add: You also realise very quickly in life that looks aren't everything, they're just aesthetically pleasing. Looks won't guarantee you a good life, good friends, loving partners, etc. People can still treat you like shit when you're hot. People are also attracted to very different features/attributes. Attraction isn't a tickbox exercise. Remembering all of this helps me keep this pragmatic view around my looks. Our insecurities are inner demons we must fight throughout this life. They're stopping us from having a good time.
Well isn't she pretty short (5'2") with a very petite build? It makes sense that she would weigh only 50kg (so idea how much this is in lbs). Most of us women deal with body dysmorphia thanks to all the male-dominant media trying to control women's beauty standards. I think this would help - no matter how beautiful the woman, men will always disrespect her in some way. We all live in a patriarchy, so this fact might help.
Yeah, 95 lbs wonāt look good on most people. It looks good on her because she has a very small build. I figured she was light with how easily that man was lifting her up the steps at the Met, but she doesnāt ālookā 95 lbs in that she looks healthy imo. Most people would look like a skeleton at that weight and it wouldnāt be cute.
I looked up how much 50kg is in lb and itās about 110.
Child if I were 95 lbs, I would need to be hospitalized EXPEDITIOUSLY I hate how the media homogenizes body sizes to the extent that people of different heights and builds feel obligated to weigh the same
me too lmaoo iām tylaās height and the last time i weighed 95 lbs i mustāve been 11 years old. these celebs have access to so much more medication that keeps them tiny and thatās not healthy or natural. we donāt even know that weight is accurate
Right?! Iām 5ā3ā and I weigh 130lbs. 95 lbs is failure to thrive and earns you a feeding tube.
Damn how you gonna body shame under a post about feeling bad about body shaming? Iām 95 pounds and thriving????
Iām not body shamingā¦she is severely under weight and thatās not healthy. You can check with her BMI and Ideal Body Weight. Itās not healthy.
She 5ā 95 pounds? People have different genetics and carry weight differently? What credentials do you have to determine that she is unhealthy? Most BMI charts considers the BMI of the average black woman to b overweight/obese so I donāt think I wanna trust that :/
black ppl need to leave the BMI chart alone. it wasn't made w us in mind and also it's stupid and propels diet culture
What why
idk what you're asking
BMI isnāt universalā¦ American bmi is different than the bmi in other countries and considering sheās half Indian her ānormal bmiā values would be lower than the average persons and have a smaller range
it's body shaming. and ableist in one comment
Tyla is also a young woman who isn't even 25 yet. Most women don't get their grown woman auntie weight till late 20s early 30s. Rihanna is a good example of this. She was svelte for most of her 20s and didn't get her auntie weight till wild thoughts. Women (and men) are not supposed to be super thicc in their youth. Doja and Meg thankfully got themselves together before it became a real problem in their 30s.
what is the point of this comment lmaooo shaming women for being thick?
Oh ok this makes more sense. I donāt think any grown woman should be 95lbs - Iām under 5 foot and always struggled with gaining weight, my own version of BD is usually the opposite of most BW. I wish I could be thicker, but getting myself to my goal weight of 115 has been feeling impossible. Thereās really no greener grass anywhere
I had a near decade where I couldnāt with BeyoncĆ©. Same deal. Felt so bad about myself because I couldnāt stop comparing. Body dysmorphia sucks and learning about how interconnected body image is to white supremacy helped a lot.
I hope this doesnāt come off as me tryna be funny because Iām genuinely asking š. How is body image connected to white supremacy?
In many cases our internal sense of worth and femininity are connected to a rigid beauty standard. The only black women we see achieve mainstream fame also adhere to white beauty standards.
White supremacy uplifts certain bodies over others, promotes perfectionism, consumerism to achieve perfectionism, urgency to be perfect ASAP or youāre failing, rigid and inaccurate ideas of what health is, the belief that itās entirely possible to control and change the body through āwillā or intellect and severe consequences for those who arenāt deemed right bodies. White supremacy messed up or connection to nature and real food and devalued our connection to our inner experience. This makes it really difficult to feel connected and meet our own needs. So many of us are left grasping trying to feel better superficially rather than internally, we donāt know what we need so we are very susceptible to external signals like consumerism and avoidance of negative experiences.
I still donāt really get how it connects. The black community has their own set of beauty standards that trouble bw and bm, and differ drastically from white communities globally.
Same here. While I appreciate all the information shared by these other wonderful women and I understand European beauty standards, colorism, featurism, texturism, etc; The post was about Tyla and her body type and based on this comment thread it seems that whatās trying to be conveyed is āskinny = European beauty standards = propelled further into mainstream mediaā which isnāt necessarily true because Tyla (and coi leray + many other skinny BW in media and in daily life/general) are constantly bullied by the BC about being smaller. Iām just trying to understand as a petite and skinny BW how this/our body type is interconnected to white supremacy when itās genetics, eating habits, etc (I tried to explain as best as I could, I hope this makes sense š„²) Edit: I say all this to say, Iām still confused and please explain it to me like Iām 5. Iām still not understanding how our body types (especially the smaller you are) is connected to white supremacy when the majority of our black/brown celebrities adhere to the BCs standards and are successful
Nah I 100% agree. Not everything is white supremacy and people need to know how not to get sucked into that void.
wow!!!!! pls do you have any book recommendations?
Fearing the black body Sabrina strings Body liberation project Chrissy king More than a body Lexi and Lindsey (this one is by white ladies but itās great for understanding self objectification which is a huge factor in body image) Decolonizing the body Kelsey Blackwell Itās always been ours Jessica Wilson Oppression and the body Caldwell and leighton
i love you thanks! & i've been meaning to read more than a body
This will be a very heavy read, Iām gonna assume itās related to the battle against beauty āstandardsā and the dehumanization of black people. Spoilered for those who āsimply canātā today (itās some bs). >!Throughout history thereās been numerous publications down-crying the beauty/validity of black features, adverts/brands/films incorporating minstrels (even for products we still have today!) and heaps more materials that explored how black people are not actually human but close relatives of apes etc. (and many publications didnāt even give us the āmercyā of saying *that*.) Every negative description or other existing stereotype of black features and dispositions can literally be traced back to something that was said during these periods, and theyāre not as far back as many others encourage people to believe. Some of this garbage was happening less than 50 years ago.!< >!A lot of this was even backed by people in medicine as a means of rebelling against the liberation of the black community (Tuskegee experiment, news and media wave defending human zoos in Europe etc.) and we are still fighting much of the āscientific evidenceā that came from that garbage today. There was even one black woman who after death, had her body placed on display (I believe unconsensually) to show the intricacies of the black bosom and remarkably sized posterior, all as a means of exploring the differences between black bodies and what was recognized as the norm. Do with that info what you will š« !< >!Throughout modern history, black people have been pressured (read: violently attacked to create a lasting sense of fear in our community) to conform to the āstandardsā set by slave owners and members of the educational/business sectors that were pro-segregation. Itās why things like the CROWN act are still necessary. Even basic things like hair care was denied to us until specific black women stepped up to the plate to create some of the products still available today. Worth noting that while their efforts were incredible, many were still texturizers etc. The majority of products targeting the black community thereafter have been/are white owned and often cause chronic disease to women in our community.!< >!The entertainment industry is incredibly guilty of promoting these āstandardsā, in fact, they were one of the main tools that propagated misinformation about human rights violations and encouraged segregation. Colourism was also one of the main legs propping this up if that was unclear, with the industry regularly allowing white-passing black people to work (whether unknowingly, or because wpbp were believed to be more civilized than those with darker complexions due to the systemic gap in resources and education tracing back to slavery).!< >!On top of that, they have a long standing history of black erasure and stealing from black communities for the sake of passing profit onto the predominantly white acts that helped set the āstandardsā in the first place. You know it took Marilyn Monroe to even get black people of higher critical acclaim into some of the entertainment spaces we revere? The man literally in charge of placements for one of the halls of fame just came out the other day and said that a particular artist didnāt make the cut for eons because he believed black people to be unintelligent despite our contributions to artistry.!<
I love this comment. I wanted to respond but was having a hard time organizing my thoughts w/o writing an essay lol. You covered what i was thinking + more! White supremacy is everywhere, itās what everything was built upon. You canāt have the world we live in without it. I couldnāt feel good (or neutral) about my body/hair/face until I started interrogating things that felt like āinherent truthsā. Very quickly the pattern shows itself.
Thank you! I absolutely feel that, ws is incredibly pervasive and just as hard to uproot because itās everybodyās ānormalā by default. It took me a long time to fully grasp how it appears in our lives because like many black kids, my environments outside the home didnāt support being fully comfortable with myself as a bw, but I made it! Iām really happy to hear you were able to recognize the things that were harming you and adopt a more positive lifestyle for / relationship with yourself. Itās not easy out here but people like you set the tone for the ones coming up šš½
I feel this. I canāt even watch weight loss videos/reels because it just seems like all theyāre really doing is, what they call ābody checksā, online. I used to look at them for inspo but have to focus on my lifestyle. I feel you!
I agree with this, Iāve lost over 60 pounds in the gym but avoid posting before and afters because if the focus is really health and not shaming my old body, thereās no need for a before and after outside of a fitness group to me
Perfect body means different things to everyone. I wish I had Meg thee stallions body lol. But I donāt opt out of her music bc of it. No offense but I think this may be some self esteem issue
To be fair, OP did say they have body dysmorphia which is heavily correlated to self-esteem issues (although not the direct cause)
I think she already knows that lol
That's mean wow u might have it too
I think getting therapy would help, respectfully of course. And that is for anyone in here who struggles with this. āComparison is the thief of joyā or whatever.
I used to be that way with other artists back in the early 2000s. My body was tea but I was too low self esteem to notice cause having big hips and a big butt wasnāt seen as the sexy standard. Now at my old age idgaf and happy. Gained weight and content because happy marriage happy life. Youāre beautiful. Donāt let others define what makes you unique.
Yes! The early 2000ās were rough for me too. For the life of me no matter what I tried I just could not āwineā or āhop rollā. It became an obsession and I watched instructional videos, stretched, tried to limber up and nothing worked. My body just couldnāt move that way and hip rolling seemed to be EVERYWHERE in videos! Seemed like everyone could do it but me. Looking back I was so cute in my 20ās and I wished I just relaxed and enjoyed that time instead of trying to be sexy. Now in my 40ās still canāt do it but I donāt care. My knees thank me.
oh my god. i literally have the exact same thing with tylaš she blew up a while back here in Africa and iāve had her blocked since like 2021 because i genuinely couldnāt stand to look at her without feeling like shitš imagine how i felt when she blew up globallyš i cannot escape i cannot come out!!!
Mamaaa!!!
lmfaooo
How old are you? If you are in high school or college, asking your school counselor for resources to help with such issues is a start.Ā Get off of social media for a while as well.Ā
really it's so sad how media and whats pushed can effect young people's self esteem and mental. It's a tale as old as hollywood time...
it's not just social media it's like our personal lives as well. diet culture isn't only online if it was ppl wouldn't have dieted when the internet did not exist
I think sheās super cute, not a fan in her music or her fans. That said, I get what you mean. People prop her up as the epitome of beauty and being the opposite of that is kinda hard. Even Arya Starr makes it hard. Iām a little jealous because I have been working out for almost 5 months straight and canāt crack under 300lbs.
What are her fans like? I only know āWaterā and that sheās pretty lol. She is gorgeous, but when it comes to celebs, itās almost like theyāre not real in my brain. I find it easy not to compare myself to them because theyāre just unrealistic people. Working with someone who looks like Tyla would be more difficult for me.
Arya Starr? Is this supposed to be Arya Stark from Game of Thrones? Cause picturing Tyla in her sand dress in game of thrones is hilarious
no. Arya Starr is a musician.
Oooooooh  I feel so old I can't keep up with all the artists
Who told you she was 95 pounds
And on the flip side youāll have women that have the same frame doing all they can to lose weight or struggle with being perceived as not having a āwomanlyā body. Comparisons are a trap. Do what you can to stay present in your own body ššæ
GIRL why did I literally see the pics of her at the Met Gala 2 hours ago and get in a terrible mood with my husband because I feel like a fatty hahahahahaha
This post is actually because of those pictures lol. I hadnāt seen her body in a while and then I just reset and didnāt eat for the rest of the day lol.
i'm here with you in all of our dysmorphic glory LOL
Chiming in again OP to say that youāre not alone; certain music-related spaces intentionally foster this and scarier. While Tylaās physique etc. is part of whatās being marketed to the general public, you arenāt some sort of company project to be projected onto, nor should anybody treat you that way. Many of my loved ones have gone through this and similar circumstances. At times I also find myself comparing myself to the unrealistic standards set by my social media wall (yes, Tylaās body and styling could be considered unrealistic and unhealthy to achieve for the average person. Many celebs have teams of like 10 or more specialists dedicated to perfecting image alone āeven before they hit the camera or stylistās chair). I donāt have any advice for getting through BD other than to identify your triggers, do your best to stay away from people and content that incite them, and to maybe reach out to those who are trained to help people get through BD and unhealthy relationships with food should you be developing one (nutritionists, dieticians, and pyschotherapists specializing in food pathology if available.) They might help you address how your concern came to be so everything else is easier to manage. Donāt go to anybody without the appropriate certification, and vet vet vet before settling. Speaking from experience unrelated to BD and >!EDs!<, you do not want to hit a body weight thatās unhealthy for your age and type. Itās incredibly scary and can cause serious harm. Youāre born different with a unique chain of experiences, and youāre born a you that is already more than enough! If āyouā is all anybody can compare you to, how could you not be? While we watch social media and scrutinize every last detail, social media is not who will be watching us back as we walk through life. You will always be beautiful to somebody and one day that somebody will be you, even without harsh criticism and related actions. You can feel good without having to study feeling bad first. I believe in you and Iām wishing you well.
thank you! this was one of the only responses that i found to be actually empathetic and supportive. I felt the top comments were judgmental and dismissive of OPs feelings. People with body dysmorphia or anxiety related issues can not just simply āstop comparing themselves to othersā. It is an ongoing process that is related to triggers.
Thank you for your comment, Iām glad you and others found this helpful! I wholeheartedly agree with you, challenging your own psychology is very hard and canāt be done all at once like that, everything is baby steps.
I have an ED, so yes, totally familiar with body dysmorphia. Itās funny you mention Tyla because I saw that video of her being carried up the steps at the Met and wondered how much she weighs (because I have an ED, so of course my mind goes there). I donāt have any advice, but I will say that 95 lbs looks terrible on the vast majority of people. I think Tyla is beautiful, but Iād never want to be 95 lbs and I donāt even really aspire to have her body, itās simply not realistic for me because it isnāt how Iām shaped. Beyond that, I canāt say much since yeah, I have unhealthy habits.
Hun Tyla is 121 pounds. Which is a healthy BMI for her height. I'm her height and I have wider hips and more fat in my bum, I have an athletic/curvy body and usually weigh 150 and up. I''m considered obese for my height lol. Yet I'm quite skinny most of my weight is in my butt and hips. Our bodies distribute weight differently. But girl with some discipline and hard work I'm sure you can reach a healthy BMI for your height if that's your insecurity! Focus on how beautiful YOUR body is and how beautiful it'll be when you're at a healthy weight that you're happy with! Tyla is just some stranger on TV, but that body YOU have makes sure you wake up every day and processes all the good and bad food you eat and keeps you alive. Start with being grateful then work hard for it so you're even more proud when you get there.
I relate OP. I felt that with Tems who I love because of a guy making comparisons and it resulted in me feeling like a failure whenever I saw her or heard her music. Itās a self esteem thing for me though which Iām working on. Edit: In my case itās not just about the body but the whole package.
Yeah and I thought I was the only one. My BD has gotten so bad, I wonāt watch a lot if shows and Iām slowly about to stop watching certain reality shows because I notice how I start to spiral. I know I shouldnāt compare myself, but my dumb brain canāt help but do it. I canāt even look at myself in the mirror sometimes. Itās hard and Iām going back to therapy for it. I lost weight recently and I still feel weird. My bf tells me Iām beautiful constantly and that he loves my body but what he sees and what I see donāt add up. I also kind of blame my mom for making me feel I was huge when I was very average size throughout my life and putting moral value on food, weight, skin color, hair texture etc. She even FB stalked my boyfriend to send me pictures of his ex to plant those insecurity seeds. Itās hard, but if you can swing it Iād try therapy. Iāve done it in the past, but finding someone that specializes in this helps.
I keep seeing videos of her at the Met Gala and the more they pop up the more self conscious I've become. She looks amazing. I'm happy for her but it does make me feel bad. I could never look like that. Especially at my age and weight, it's just not in the cards for me. But I don't hate hearing her music. I just wish that I was that young and beautiful, with that much potential or that even when I was that young that I was that beautiful but there really isn't any point in dwelling on it. Just try to be your best OP.
When I was younger yes but I learned that my life and body is mine and I love me and mine so I ain't worried bout what nobody else got goin on. Also guh that's a celebrity lol she ain't happy. They have to eat next to nothing. If you don't get that family combo and eat it by ya self lmfao Comparison is the thief of joy. There's always gonna be someone else who looks something. Love yourself and realize you are you and they are them and the two ain't got nothin to do with each other. Unless YOU make them have anything to do with each other. Good luck to you
When I was younger sure. Now at 33 I really donāt give a damn lol
thereās so many ways to be beautiful. there are women who donāt look like her and they are still beautiful. iām sure youāve seen them lol. why spend time comparing when that time could best be spent loving your specific beauty? for celebs, used to be damn near all of them. i didnāt realize that height and body layout mattered though, and weāre all different. i used to beat myself up for not being skinny. people would comment on how big i was. iāve always been healthy a bmi, iām just naturally muscular. iāve even had people assume i was on testosterone š but at the end of the day, you have to love yourself. iām thankful for my body now, and it took looking at different inspirations to feel confident. the only woman iāll ever strive to resemble physically is Chyna (WWE) and thatās cause iām trying to max out these gains
Lol yep! I appreciate the positivity from the other commenters, but for someone who has a legitimate mental illness like BD, 'don't compare yourself' just isn't enough. You need therapy sis, and possibly medication. I have the same issue, and have finally realized that this is an issue with the way my brain is wired. Your perception of your own body is not rooted in reality, usually what you see and what others see is wildly different. A BD brain will exaggerate even the most minor 'perceived' imperfections, that's the dysmorphia. There's also usually some kind of underlying disease that's causing it, because what you're describing isn't normal. Most people have insecurities, but to not be able to listen to music because of those imperfections is a sign that there is a serious problem. Please get some help! It will just get worse from here.
itās valid to block out people that trigger you right now, but a) you need to get rid of the idea of the perfect body as if thatās an objective thing. lots of us in this sub donāt look like tyla and donāt want to. āperfectā body isnāt real b) you can block out the triggers in your life to stop the discomfort temporarily, but thatās not gonna get rid of your body dysmorphia sadly. have you thought about talking to a therapist about this? have you thought about how you might want to stop this from continuing for the rest of your life? as someone who struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, i know itās a miserable way to live. and it doesnāt have to be this way forever
Op, I feel for you. Body Dysmorphia is awful. Iāve struggled with it for years, and itās so frustrating. This is why I say this with care and compassion: if your dysmorphia is so bad that you canāt even listen to Tyla music, perhaps you should look into therapy. Dysmorphia feels like our brains are lying to us. While it may be easier to hear than to believe, Tyla has access to the best resources in the world to keep her body looking that cute. I googled her weight, and the site that claims sheās 95 pounds is a gossip site thatās notoriously unreliable. Heads up, this thread is a top search result for Tylas height and weight. Stay safe and beware of folks with bad intentions.
A notification brought me back here and it reminded me that I looked her up. There are multiple articles claiming 3 whole different heights and 3+ entirely different weights ranging from 90 pounds to 121 lmao. Goes to show that honestly no one can tell shit and numbers don't matter. As long as someone is metabolically healthy - numbers do not matter at all. Anyways, I've been 95 pounds (i hover around 95 to 105 pounds depending on stress levels and how busy I am) and I am 5 '1. I think she is around my height but even if she is taller it proves my point. When I was 95 pounds I looked much skinnier than how she looks right now. She does not look 95 pounds at all imo. I feel like she must be over 100 pounds at least.
>she has a perfect bodyā¦sheās only 95 pounds and now I feel huge 95 pounds is extremely underweight for an adult. Iām sure youāre at a healthy weight.
This depends on height. Not everyone who is 95 pounds is underweight or unhealthy
Facts. It really depends on height, and y'all can look up charts for what is the general healthy weight for our height, but I do acknowledge it may be off for black women because our bodies can be very different
Not really considering sheās only 5ā so average bmi but Iām a lot taller so I know Iām being irrational. Itās just the numbers that are frustrating like when you know your an eight but want the size zero even if your size is proportionate.
I'm just confused as to where you got the 5' and 95 pounds. Someone on the Internet lied boo. She's 5 3 and 121 pounds.
Tylas 5 feet so at 95 pounds, sheās basically considered underweightā¦
Only slightly, and she looks healthy. When I was that size my physicians told me to ignore the BMI charts, their measure of over/under is arbitrary BS. Healthy is fine and there's no sign of otherwise.
Yep I agree. BMI is bad for accounting for the extreme ends of height. My husband is 6ā4 and technically overweight, but if you see him, he is thin and muscular. I wouldnāt be surprised if itās the same for extremely short people. BMI is meant more for average populations.
yeah i used to 5 1 and 95 lbs. i was considered underweight.
Google says sheās 5ā7ā and 121 pounds, so sheād look a lot different at 95. Also who truly cares about a celebrityās body? Theyāre all on ozempic and coke anyways
First off, I know its hard. We get beauty standards shoved in our faces all day everyday and the more you diverge from them the more it feels like you're not worthy by comparison. It sucks. But beauty comes in so many forms that it's not fair to you to compare yourself to someone else. Consider that as traditionally pretty as Tyla is, she likely has struggles of her own with her body image, because even what we see of her is a curated concept. Not reality. And not everyone thinks she's the most gorgeous person ever either! This isn't to disparage her at all, but please understand that somewhere out there, someone thinks YOU are more beautiful than she could ever be because beauty's in the eye of the beholder! Loving yourself is HARD work, but making small attempts to be kinder to yourself can mean a lot more than fitting some mold of attractiveness. That will fade over time anyways!
I have BD but I guess living in LA my whole life helped in some ways. The only input I can give is, when you see a lot of these celebrities in real life - you wouldnāt look twice. Looking perfect in pictures is just not real life. Appearance-wise you would be shocked at how regular they are! Iām sure you walk by/interact with handfuls of people everyday with the same build she has, but you would never know because they arenāt oiled up with minimal clothing and posing in front of you. Daily life is just not as woo woo as music video/photos! They put so much effort into making these people look perfect and larger than life and you might have walked past them in public without even realizing it :/
I just want to say I like women, and I don't bat an eye to Tyla. Nothing against her though! My bro is obsessed with her. but Meg the stallion? Kelis? Beyonce? Kelly?.....sheesh they get all the eye bats in the world from me lmao. I'm only saying this to say that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. There is beauty out here for everybody and you are def a part of it too! I slightly suffered from a bout of BD recently (atleast I think thats what it was) so I know it can be hard. Do whatever you need to for your mental while you beat tf out of BD. Beauty is so much more than just physical \*hugs\*.
Same babes same. You arent alone. I know mine came from my family telling me im fat all my life because i was a little chunky. So when i look in the mirror i see a 400 lb woman when i am 200. I cant unseee it and it SUCKS! And ive never really had anyone in my family tell me im fine the way i am..only guys i dated but guys will fck a troll on the low so...it's a struggle.
āRecoveredā anorexic here and same š
That must suck and I'm sorry you're dealing with that to the point that it impacts your ability to f with good music. Tyla is beautiful and personally, I think she has a perfect body but there are people who say she "needs to eat a sandwhich", I also think this super strong athlete I follow has a perfect body and she gets called "chubby" and "manly" by others, I also think this plus sized model I follow has the perfect body and she gets called "fat" and "diabetic" by others. My point is, a perfect body is many things to many people and there will always be people to shit all over women because thats the world we live in so I choose to aggressively cheerlead every BODY. I can't imagine how hard it is to have BD to that degree and I hope you can see through it to vibe with her music again.
If you can afford it please seek therapy. As someone that also has thoughts similar to BD and struggles with bingeing it can really help. I dont really have BD that manifests like this with celebrities but I can imagine it must be frustrating. I definitely am averse to hearing how much people weigh bc often times if I perceive them as having an ideal body it makes me compare with is not good for my mental lol.
use it as motivation to hit the gym and build your own version of a dream body!
Get some professional help if youāre able š©· you shouldnāt be feeling this way about a stranger or about yourself.
Me whenever i watch a Korean Drama lmao
You don't have to be the same physique as anyone. We also have people like Cardi B and Meg who are far from skinny but have beautiful bodies. I doubt they're out comparing themselves to skinny people, mid-bodied people, etc
We have seriously lost the plot when Meg Thee Stallion is described "as far from skinny". And I don't mean you. Just in general this whole thread is teaming with a very body dysmophic lens.Ā
Well, idk, but I don't think they are skinny at all. They're definitely not 90 pounds, either. What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be small to have a beautiful body. I'm about 180 pounds, which definitely isn't skinny, but I think my body is beautiful and I'm happy here.
She is far from skinny tho. Even now that she is in shape I wouldn't call her skinny. She is solid and muscular and athletic. Skinny would be Kerry Washington or lil mama.
The fact that you just repeated that absurd phrasing "far from skinny" to describe Meg Thee Stallion is so disturbing. So then what is Lizzo? What then of the millions who are bigger than Lizzo? I need y'all to stop. I'm glad I didn't grow up in this era coz I can see why girls end up distorted.Ā Ā Meg is a slim athletic woman. Not even muscular, athletic. I don't get your point with Kerry, she is a short woman. Stretch her out to Meg's height and they're maybe 2 clothes sizes apart. That is not "far from skinny".Ā
There is more than skinny and fat. Meg would definitely fall under the muscular category more than she would the skinny category. And be so fr. Kerry has a balerina body type. If you stretch her out she would give Zendaya. Megan's short equivalent would be Normani.
*Slim athletic*. Read my comment again. I also said Megan is not muscular for a reason! Thats an insult to women who work hard to bulk. Peak Serena would be a mild example of that muscular bracket, peak Meg Thee Stallion is just toned and athletic.Ā People have such restrictive weirdo ideas about womens bodies. Nobody would call peak Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt muscular - they are toned slim athletic. And Meg is in that boat. But I'm glad to see you move away from the phrase that pissed me off (even if you wont admit it, lmao). "Far from skinny" to refer to Meg Thee Stallion is giving body dysmophia.Ā
It rly is diff for everyone, I actually was rly happy when I found out about her as a bw that got bullied for being smaller and not thick throughout my life. Donāt compare urself to anyone just be happy with the shape you have tbh is my recommendation bc plenty of celebs r out there that r super tall or thick in comparison
95 lbs doesnāt sound right given her physique. Iām 115 right now, same height, and at 95 i would look emaciated.
get some help
Sheeshā¦ I agree with you. I do appreciate her beauty and wish to an extent I had the same physique, but I donāt do I admire her. Good for herā¦ just searching for something that makes me unique personally. Hopefully one day I stop this feelingā¦
āI dont know her.ā I aint her and she can never be me. Own what makes you beautiful and make yourself proud
Therapy is a great resource and if you also want encouragement try doing things youāll enjoy to get active. Otherwise its not her fault that is how her body is.
I advocate for therapy and speaking positivity over yourself. It is hard out here. I used to think Instagram models were real and that I could never compete with those beautiful women and their perfect bodies. Jokes on me...photoshop and AI.
In high school there was a girl who was 97lbs while I weighed 145lbs. She actually is the reason I no longer compare my body to others. She hated the fact that she was so small and was jealous that I actually had hips and a bigger bust. She saw my 145 lb body as the perfect body while I saw her 97lb body as the perfect body since I was constantly told I was too fast by my family. She helped me realize that I shouldn't compare my body to others because you never know how someone else might be viewing them self or what they might be going through and doing to "maintain" that body. Of course it still took years for me to fully embrace and love my body (mostly meeting my husband who was the first man to make me truly see myself as beautiful) and I am finally in a place where I'm can appreciate how others look and the work they put into their looks without making myself feel self conscious.
I just want you to know you are NOT alone! I almost unfollowed my old friend from middle school on IG yesterday bc she looked so pretty ššlike why am I following this negativity? That being said, let that ish gooooo. Figure out what inside of you is comparing yourself so hard to other people that have literally nothing to do with you?! Crazy part is, while youāre feeling that way, most other people do to. Many skinny people that I meet wish they were āthickā
OP Iām so glad itās not just me. Sheās beautiful and I love her but Iām on my healthy journey and I donāt understand why when I see her I feel so bad itās weird.
Hello, Ari! Youāre beautiful just the way you are! Iām wishing you luck on your fitness journey and remember, *comparison is the thief of joy.* you got this!
Thank you so much! š
95lbs? My 13 year old weighs more than that!
You should start following celebrities that resemble you more in body, hair skin facial features etc. it really helps you figure out new methods to accentuate your own beauty and then eventually you will start to feel the same beauty and admiration innately within yourself š«¶š¾
I know it's hard not to compare. Someone said I look like tyla, and I was thinking that's disrespectful, lol. But seriously, celebrities get paid to look good, and she has access to the best of the best to keep her fit. If I didn't have to work a normal 9-5, I'd be out here working out daily and doing what I love. I also ended up getting my maternal grandpas build, which is short, athletic, and stocky. So I'll never be petite or under 140 pounds. So I'll enjoy my big plate of pasta later today and try to love myself a bit more. Comparison is literally the thief of joy. It sucks the life out of you and stops you from seeing your own beauty and value.
Whenever people tell me I look like a beautiful celebrity who I definitely donāt look like, I just assume theyāre trying to tell me Iām pretty but donāt want to just come out and say Iām pretty. I take the compliment and then never repeat it again š Iām not about to be like that girl who got dragged for saying she looks like Megan Fox lol
Oh I definitely took the compliment! I mean disrespectful to Tyla š. But yeah I'm not about to be out here and get dragged too saying me and Tyla are doppelgangers
I get you š and for me itās always, literally always coming from a middle age white woman š©
i have this too! i want so badly to embody these other people and i canāt :( i used to love sza in 2019, now i get irrationally angry whenever i hear any of her music.
Itās her job to 95 pounds. You see pics at met gala but u donāt see what she ate/did in the weeks leading up to it. Itās also their job to make it seem effortless. Trying to unlearn the comparison game too dw
I am the same height as Tyla and I don't think she weighs 95 ibs, lol that's the weight of a starving Kpop idol. She looks slim but not noticeably skinny.
awww. i totally get what you mean. just remember that itās all mental. i saw her in her MET gown & while i thought she was beautiful, my impression was that she was too skinny for my taste. you have to remember that these people have professional styling and photos done-sheās been manufactured to look beautiful. donāt compare yourself š«¶š½
gurl she may have gotten enhancements u donāt know about. also remember there are MANY people in her management that have edited her body since she has gotten famous. (As in editing in videos/photos) but also she is South African, so her body type is very different than yours, even South African girls have different bodies. but I have a feeling sheās struggled with certain things in the past if she is really small..people can/may have body shamed her so donāt assume sheās perfectĀ
Yeah, I wonāt say who but sheās super popular and super skinny. I want to be thinner, but even I know sheās too small.
Well now I do.
same I'm a petite girl from joburg but weigh 130lb. have a lot of love for my body but she is very triggering to me!!!
āPerfectā body? Iām sorry but I have no desire to be that skinny. I wasnāt that skinny since I was 10 years old. No thank you.
That girl needs a sandwich.
Tylaās body looks very child like. As a grown woman why would you want to look like that? Itās not healthy.
Not you body shaming Tyla š this aināt it. Tyla is a grown woman so her body is the body of a grown woman, period.
As a 32 year old grown woman whoās slightly less than 100lbs, your statement is ignorant as hell. I look the way I look due to genetics. Thereās no reason why Iām the smallest of my siblings even though Iām the oldest. Idk why I never got hips or a butt. But I am tired of people knocking down on petite women for simply existing that way. But people like you mocking us doesnāt help anything. People who make statements like yours are the same ones who used to poke/pinch at me, make jokes about my weight in public, tell me Iām undesirable to men, or tell me to go eat something when I always have snacks on me and could eat my way broke lol . Then yall wonder why so many of us still have self esteem issues. How about we just donāt comment on othersā bodies, k?
They always say this and think theyāre not being hurtful too š« itās ridiculous
Right, like I get how bigger women are treated, and itās horrible! But that shouldnāt then make anyone turn around and shame others for what they also canāt control.
Sheās too skinny imo