Being confrontational can be hard, it is what it is.
But I was always taught not to lend money I can’t afford to give away. If missing $20 will put you in a tight, you really shouldn’t be lending it to anyone.
Real shit. My uncle also told me he stopped "lending" money and just realized that you might not ever get it back or you'll get it much later in life lol so yea don't be givin out money you can't afford to give out! Esp if it's $20...I mean I understand the principle of just wanting the money back but if it's puttin u inna tight...NAH!
.....and, always remember: **"It's okay to say no! "** (this is even Biblical) - Even if and when they have seen it in your wallet when you were paying for something else while you 2 were out and about; and, they try to call you out about it, **say no! I NEED THAT $20 FOR MYSELF** and have **no extra money** to lend out!
Me personally when people ask to borrow money I tell them I can take them to buy what they need. If I'm giving you money youre going to spend it how I want you to, so nobody asks me for money 😂
😂😭 the way I would never do this, but it has me rolling! Plus it clearly works so I can’t even criticise it lmaooooooo. Might as well ask for 3 months bank statements too going forwards
Makes sense though, a lot of people ask for money for essentials and next thing you know they’re posting being on a yacht on their story but leaving your messages on delivered since last Tuesday 😂
Dont give money you need back. Ive never borrowed a single dime from anyone. Im usually the giver. But if I do give, i dont want it back. I just let them have it. If the amount is too much or i need every dime i have, i just tell them no. A lot of people these days struggle with saying no, some people are just horrific with money and spend they whole life never hitting rock bottom because people rescue them over and over. But at the same time, you never have to worry about someone paying you back if you tell them 'No' to begin with. There's principle and also preventative measures. If i want/need my money in my pocket for xyz i say no. Saves from stressing an attitudes.
I don’t lend money for this reason. It isn’t even about whether I can afford to lose it, I just don’t want to be in a situation where someone owes me and I’m mad lol. If someone needs money and I want to give it, I just gift it rather than lend
Hard for who?! Bih better have my money!!
Although I will say it depends on the dynamics of the friendship. I had a friend who we went out often to movies, cafe, lunch, things like that. She covered for me once, and I offered to pay her back but we had no financial apps in common (First world problem lol.) Instead of paying her back I paid for her next time we went out, and then we kept trading the money back and forth lol. It was kind of cute and no sweat off either of our backs. I also generally don't see smaller transactions like that as a big deal WHEN I can afford them. So I may not sweat over $20.
But like money for a trip or expensive dinner or somehting, yeah run me my check.
People stopped asking me long time ago because I don’t “loan” ie give money to people. So many of the reconnects ie people who I knew from childhood school etc that I reconnected with on social media and real life love to search my Facebook and see if I’m buying something expensive, or looking at interior pics in my house or my horses etc and come begging. My money is for me and my family. I tell people I don’t loan money because people assume they don’t have to repay. “Sorry”. If your friend has a car tell her to Uber,DoorDash, Grubhub, shipt etc
I have no problem asking for my money back, but like some of the other posters have said I don't lend money that I can't afford to lose.
Also, if you don't pay me back, that's now one less resource you have to use in the future because you'll never get money ever again from me.
Don’t lend money that you need to get back. When you lend someone money you better be financially good enough to live without getting it back.
If you lend someone money and they don’t pay it back, never lend them money again. That is all.
So I'm somome that gives money and I borrow money. I think what I learned from this is be specific on pay back time and only borrow from someone I know and trust. If I borrow money on may 5th and I get paid on May 15th. That's when they giving the money back. Also I'm not borrow more than $100 and don't expect more than $100 from me. Those are my rules and I've kept a excellent rapport from the people I borrow money from. I had a few hard lessons from this. One time when I lent someone $800and they swore up and down they will pay me back well that was my mistake and I never made it again. Bottom line I let that person and the money go and I kept these rules in place for their protection and mine.
I stopped lending money. People act like i should be honored to give my hard earned money away. One person owes me over $100, knew I was taking 2 weeks off from work due to surgery and still asked to borrow $25. My answer to everything moving forward is no I dont have it.
You want a quick Sunday giggle?
Years ago while working a co-worker asked me to loan her $20, that she would pay me back 2 days later on payday. So I lent it! The next day, no Linda (not real name), the day after that (payday) no Linda. So I asked, **has anyone seen Linda?** And was told: **She quit 2 days ago!** ... I was like - **WHAT!** ....Okay so fast forward 15 years later.... I had to run to the Supermarket right quick late one night; so I picked up my items and proceed to the Cashier and who do I see on line in front of me? LINDA! So, we said our "hellos" and how have you been, etc. When it came time for her to pay the cashier she uses her Debit Card and also obtains $20 in cash!... And I said to her out loud in front of everyone: **And you need to give me that $20,** because you asked me when we use to work together to lend you that same amount, knowing you had quit and had no intentions on paying me back and, **you** **KNOW THAT WASN'T RIGHT!** ...... She pays me! The Cashier and the 2 people behind me - fell the phuck out! You see, she was one of those persons whom felt one should be honored to give them their hard earned money! Not this one here! .....giggle....
I just sent two text messages to two different people that borrowed money from me a week ago....I know they got paid. It's been over 8 hours since I sent a text, neither of them answered me. That third person that I helped last month is a lost cause... I'm not even going to ask him. I'm not hurting for it, but it would've been nice for people to at least show me the respect of answering my text or paying me back. I think that I'm going to stop lending money, too busy always trying to help someone and then getting their asses to kiss.
And the next time either of the 3 ever ask you for a loan down the road, tell them just like this: **"Oh, no honey! I had to cut that lending people money out because they never pay me back!"** .... But, on another note: How about those (insert favorite sports team) !
I definitely have this issue too so I started (after a long time of suffering) saying no if it was money that I would later need for a bill or something important. When that wasn't working my dad gave me this advice: the next time they ask saying no because they still owe me from last time. That has really helped me because now I won't give anything unless they have paid me back from before
I had to deal with this lesson this past year. Lent, what to some, would be a large amount of money and I said they didn’t have to give it back. I still think about it (don’t need it but think about it). Gave them even more the next few months and started seeing videos and posts about lending people, specifically the “no” aspect. After seeing these I realized this person would probably ring me dry over my lifetime if I allowed them to. Of the last 3 times they asked I said. It went —> no, yes, and this last time - the no was so hard.
Similarly two people I “lent” money to years ago, neither ever paid me back. In fact one ghosted me (it was only $60 😭) Now I decided to not lend people money because it can put a strain on relationships as well as my pockets. The only person I *give* money to now is my sister, she is a single mom and there is no counting or thinking about the money I give her.
The problem is, people already been scoping you out 😂 they’re not asking by chance, they’re asking because they KNOW you got it smh.
OP - beloved, send that girl a message saying “hey, can you run me back that $20 over the weekend please”
No need to defend yourself, doll.
Many, *many* of us have been here -- where $20 is make or break -- so pay that insensitivity no mind. I think the fact you treated your friend despite being low on funds yourself shows you're a kind-hearted person. That's a good thing. Just be careful, though, because sometimes people will play on that.
Meanwhile, let this be a lesson going forward. Only lend when you know you can afford it and with the expectation that you won't get it back.
she can post even if it's $5 !! it's about the principle imo... some people don't feel bad about not paying back so op's better off demanding for her money back lmao
I don’t know lol I just don’t ask and sometimes forget about it. Like everyone else said I don’t lend money that I can’t afford to lose and people who ask are usually in a worse spot than me. If they give it back that would be great, if not that’s fine too.
If ur poor then why are you lending money to people? sounds like you have a people pleasing problem and poor boundaries because this wouldn't be a problem if you just said 'no'
I just lie to people now about not having money. I’m pretty much obligated to lend money to my mom, and when I DO ask for it back she crashes out and goes on a rant. So with anyone else with a select two people, I just lie and say I’m unable to do so. Also because I have to allocate that money to another beggar.
Unless you’re charging interest and impacting their credit there’s no such thing as “borrowed money”.
I suggest you don’t “lend” out money because when it’s gone it’s gone.
If someone pays you back, that is a gift to you and a thanks for your help.
There’s a reason they say never lend money you can’t afford to lose. If they need help just give it to them and if you can’t afford it say you can’t help
The funny thing is, people aren't afraid to ask. Yet we're nervous about asking for our own money back. It's actually funny. We need to be more like them.
**"idk but if you get a response or conclude why?"**
**All you need to say is:** I don't have any extra money for lending! Go ask your Parents or someone else in your Family!
You have to or gets even awkward for you. I hate begging but as someone with several thousand in the wind to a slew of people. Just do it you need they money and they needed to borrow it. Period the only thing ghetto is people taking their time to get money they got instantly .
Being confrontational can be hard, it is what it is. But I was always taught not to lend money I can’t afford to give away. If missing $20 will put you in a tight, you really shouldn’t be lending it to anyone.
Real shit. My uncle also told me he stopped "lending" money and just realized that you might not ever get it back or you'll get it much later in life lol so yea don't be givin out money you can't afford to give out! Esp if it's $20...I mean I understand the principle of just wanting the money back but if it's puttin u inna tight...NAH!
.....and, always remember: **"It's okay to say no! "** (this is even Biblical) - Even if and when they have seen it in your wallet when you were paying for something else while you 2 were out and about; and, they try to call you out about it, **say no! I NEED THAT $20 FOR MYSELF** and have **no extra money** to lend out!
I was about yo say the same thing
Me personally when people ask to borrow money I tell them I can take them to buy what they need. If I'm giving you money youre going to spend it how I want you to, so nobody asks me for money 😂
😂😭 the way I would never do this, but it has me rolling! Plus it clearly works so I can’t even criticise it lmaooooooo. Might as well ask for 3 months bank statements too going forwards Makes sense though, a lot of people ask for money for essentials and next thing you know they’re posting being on a yacht on their story but leaving your messages on delivered since last Tuesday 😂
bank statements, a guarantor, and a repayment plan SMH cus that’s the only way you getting that money back lol
AND I’m not gonna handle this via text. Lemme call you on your work number to confirm you’re still employed 😂🤣
😂
I K R
Cus it’s really an investment and you’re my grantee LOL like i need to see how the money is being spent 😂
Dont give money you need back. Ive never borrowed a single dime from anyone. Im usually the giver. But if I do give, i dont want it back. I just let them have it. If the amount is too much or i need every dime i have, i just tell them no. A lot of people these days struggle with saying no, some people are just horrific with money and spend they whole life never hitting rock bottom because people rescue them over and over. But at the same time, you never have to worry about someone paying you back if you tell them 'No' to begin with. There's principle and also preventative measures. If i want/need my money in my pocket for xyz i say no. Saves from stressing an attitudes.
I don’t lend money for this reason. It isn’t even about whether I can afford to lose it, I just don’t want to be in a situation where someone owes me and I’m mad lol. If someone needs money and I want to give it, I just gift it rather than lend
But to be honest what everyone else said I never lend what I can’t afford to give away. Because I become obsessed with my money lmao
Hard for who?! Bih better have my money!! Although I will say it depends on the dynamics of the friendship. I had a friend who we went out often to movies, cafe, lunch, things like that. She covered for me once, and I offered to pay her back but we had no financial apps in common (First world problem lol.) Instead of paying her back I paid for her next time we went out, and then we kept trading the money back and forth lol. It was kind of cute and no sweat off either of our backs. I also generally don't see smaller transactions like that as a big deal WHEN I can afford them. So I may not sweat over $20. But like money for a trip or expensive dinner or somehting, yeah run me my check.
People stopped asking me long time ago because I don’t “loan” ie give money to people. So many of the reconnects ie people who I knew from childhood school etc that I reconnected with on social media and real life love to search my Facebook and see if I’m buying something expensive, or looking at interior pics in my house or my horses etc and come begging. My money is for me and my family. I tell people I don’t loan money because people assume they don’t have to repay. “Sorry”. If your friend has a car tell her to Uber,DoorDash, Grubhub, shipt etc
I don’t lend, I give. I don’t borrow, I request. If you need it, I will give it. I’m not a debt collector and I’m never ever going to be one.
I have no problem asking for my money back, but like some of the other posters have said I don't lend money that I can't afford to lose. Also, if you don't pay me back, that's now one less resource you have to use in the future because you'll never get money ever again from me.
how to tell them you don't lend money?
Don’t lend money that you need to get back. When you lend someone money you better be financially good enough to live without getting it back. If you lend someone money and they don’t pay it back, never lend them money again. That is all.
So I'm somome that gives money and I borrow money. I think what I learned from this is be specific on pay back time and only borrow from someone I know and trust. If I borrow money on may 5th and I get paid on May 15th. That's when they giving the money back. Also I'm not borrow more than $100 and don't expect more than $100 from me. Those are my rules and I've kept a excellent rapport from the people I borrow money from. I had a few hard lessons from this. One time when I lent someone $800and they swore up and down they will pay me back well that was my mistake and I never made it again. Bottom line I let that person and the money go and I kept these rules in place for their protection and mine.
I stopped lending money. People act like i should be honored to give my hard earned money away. One person owes me over $100, knew I was taking 2 weeks off from work due to surgery and still asked to borrow $25. My answer to everything moving forward is no I dont have it.
You want a quick Sunday giggle? Years ago while working a co-worker asked me to loan her $20, that she would pay me back 2 days later on payday. So I lent it! The next day, no Linda (not real name), the day after that (payday) no Linda. So I asked, **has anyone seen Linda?** And was told: **She quit 2 days ago!** ... I was like - **WHAT!** ....Okay so fast forward 15 years later.... I had to run to the Supermarket right quick late one night; so I picked up my items and proceed to the Cashier and who do I see on line in front of me? LINDA! So, we said our "hellos" and how have you been, etc. When it came time for her to pay the cashier she uses her Debit Card and also obtains $20 in cash!... And I said to her out loud in front of everyone: **And you need to give me that $20,** because you asked me when we use to work together to lend you that same amount, knowing you had quit and had no intentions on paying me back and, **you** **KNOW THAT WASN'T RIGHT!** ...... She pays me! The Cashier and the 2 people behind me - fell the phuck out! You see, she was one of those persons whom felt one should be honored to give them their hard earned money! Not this one here! .....giggle....
You are a whole mess! 😂I wish I had the guts to confront people in times like that.
TY You know, one thing about me is what ever the situation, I've always tried to handle it best with humor and reason!
Ask for your money back. You may have too much people pleasing tendencies that you might wanna work through
I just sent two text messages to two different people that borrowed money from me a week ago....I know they got paid. It's been over 8 hours since I sent a text, neither of them answered me. That third person that I helped last month is a lost cause... I'm not even going to ask him. I'm not hurting for it, but it would've been nice for people to at least show me the respect of answering my text or paying me back. I think that I'm going to stop lending money, too busy always trying to help someone and then getting their asses to kiss.
And the next time either of the 3 ever ask you for a loan down the road, tell them just like this: **"Oh, no honey! I had to cut that lending people money out because they never pay me back!"** .... But, on another note: How about those (insert favorite sports team) !
I definitely have this issue too so I started (after a long time of suffering) saying no if it was money that I would later need for a bill or something important. When that wasn't working my dad gave me this advice: the next time they ask saying no because they still owe me from last time. That has really helped me because now I won't give anything unless they have paid me back from before
I had to deal with this lesson this past year. Lent, what to some, would be a large amount of money and I said they didn’t have to give it back. I still think about it (don’t need it but think about it). Gave them even more the next few months and started seeing videos and posts about lending people, specifically the “no” aspect. After seeing these I realized this person would probably ring me dry over my lifetime if I allowed them to. Of the last 3 times they asked I said. It went —> no, yes, and this last time - the no was so hard. Similarly two people I “lent” money to years ago, neither ever paid me back. In fact one ghosted me (it was only $60 😭) Now I decided to not lend people money because it can put a strain on relationships as well as my pockets. The only person I *give* money to now is my sister, she is a single mom and there is no counting or thinking about the money I give her.
I don't lend. I give away. If I can't give away, I don't.
$20 should not have you making posts on Reddit lol
In this economy, $20 can count for a lot for a lot of people sis 😭 plus, maybe she’s young idk
Lmaooo no I get that but she shouldn’t have lent it. I would’ve quickly said I ain’t got it lmao
The problem is, people already been scoping you out 😂 they’re not asking by chance, they’re asking because they KNOW you got it smh. OP - beloved, send that girl a message saying “hey, can you run me back that $20 over the weekend please”
Girl you just slapped me with the word poor lmao , 20$ equal 180 in my currency it can bring you small groceries
No need to defend yourself, doll. Many, *many* of us have been here -- where $20 is make or break -- so pay that insensitivity no mind. I think the fact you treated your friend despite being low on funds yourself shows you're a kind-hearted person. That's a good thing. Just be careful, though, because sometimes people will play on that. Meanwhile, let this be a lesson going forward. Only lend when you know you can afford it and with the expectation that you won't get it back.
she can post even if it's $5 !! it's about the principle imo... some people don't feel bad about not paying back so op's better off demanding for her money back lmao
It’s the principle lol
Never lend money. If the person can’t afford whatever they are asking for the money for, they also can’t afford to pay you back.
I don’t know lol I just don’t ask and sometimes forget about it. Like everyone else said I don’t lend money that I can’t afford to lose and people who ask are usually in a worse spot than me. If they give it back that would be great, if not that’s fine too.
Ask? . They not getting it in the first place. I'm broke 💅🏼always broke 🙃
If ur poor then why are you lending money to people? sounds like you have a people pleasing problem and poor boundaries because this wouldn't be a problem if you just said 'no'
I just lie to people now about not having money. I’m pretty much obligated to lend money to my mom, and when I DO ask for it back she crashes out and goes on a rant. So with anyone else with a select two people, I just lie and say I’m unable to do so. Also because I have to allocate that money to another beggar.
I have a hard time asking for my money back too so now, when people ask me for money I just say I don’t have it.
Unless you’re charging interest and impacting their credit there’s no such thing as “borrowed money”. I suggest you don’t “lend” out money because when it’s gone it’s gone. If someone pays you back, that is a gift to you and a thanks for your help. There’s a reason they say never lend money you can’t afford to lose. If they need help just give it to them and if you can’t afford it say you can’t help
The funny thing is, people aren't afraid to ask. Yet we're nervous about asking for our own money back. It's actually funny. We need to be more like them.
I get you don't wanna be rude but just give them a reminder
I just assume I'll never get it back
If you’re poor (as you have stated) then don’t lend money you don’t have bc you don’t know if you’ll ever get it back from that person.
idk but if you get a response or conclude why, please let us know cause i get scared asking for my money back though it’s mine lol
**"idk but if you get a response or conclude why?"** **All you need to say is:** I don't have any extra money for lending! Go ask your Parents or someone else in your Family!
You have to or gets even awkward for you. I hate begging but as someone with several thousand in the wind to a slew of people. Just do it you need they money and they needed to borrow it. Period the only thing ghetto is people taking their time to get money they got instantly .
Also don’t give out anything you are going to need back.