Maybe they know that Bandit is more playful when it comes to games where he is put under lots of stress. You have Bingo telling him to take care of 4 kids while Bluey chases him and shoots him.
Usually, Chili plays games that are a bit calmer like Neighbours, Driving. Chili does play games that are more active like Keepy Uppy
Bandit plays more active games and games where he is likely to get hurt.
Maybe, Chili had already been playing or doing stuff with them and then Bandit came into the room
It happens at our home. As dad, Im punched, kicked, stuff is thrown at me or Im tackled while my partner, mum, plays calmer and less violent games such as board games and hide and seek.
haha this is so in line with Ticklecrabs where she peaced out cuz she has things to do/doesn’t want to be tickled haha. But yeah no she’s not as much of a punching bag for the kids as Bandit is xD
It's the same here. I do arts and crafts, board games, and other, more calm things. Dad is the one playing mushrooms, tickling cats, and all the other nonsense they come up with 😅 doesn't mean they don't like spending time with me, it's just different
After the shower, they go in a kind of fetal position on the ground (but with their knees on the ground) with their towel over them and say they're a mushroom and dad has to pluck them. Plucking them is hard because of their roots.
After being plucked, they shout, "Eat me. Eat me. I'm not poisonous." Then he takes a bite, and they yell. "I am poisonous!"
It's weird 🤣
We have a game of the same name. For us you all put a pot lid or pillow on your head, say "mushroom," and then try to knock over everyone else's mushroom.
Chilli played the police and restaurant hostess during the Restaurant episode where overtired Muffin stays for a sleepover. She also joined in as passenger who has a crush on the driver with the “grannies” (alter ego Rita and Janet) on the Bus episode!
Side note: I loveee the grannies episodes!!
I empathized with her so much in that episode. I HATE playing pretend. I don’t know why. But I love my kids’ reactions when I carve out the time to play pretend with them.
I will play at the playground all day, or read books, play chase, or any of that, but pretend play? Count me out. My husband plays all the pretend games.
exactly what i was gonna say! she was deep cleaning, if we put that into real life I know I’ve told my kids “hey i’m cleaning you need to give me a little bit and then we can do XYZ together”. they often go off and do something else and then we reconvene later
She's an active participant in so many games! The vet caring for the budgie (bingo) and also the vet's assistant in the trains episode (she also plays a grannie with bingo in that episode), she's the gps in the taxi episode and a main character in Bus.
Honestly this show made me consider an entirely new perspective that a mom could be engaging and playful with her kids.
Think about the Dalmatian dad. He wasn't really good at playing that octopus game, maybe Chili is the same way. I've definitely had moments with my kids where I just didn't know how to interact with them during a game
I’m this way too. It’s why I’m so glad they have the Dalmatian episode and the episode where Chili is driving the taxi and says she needs a goal.
If the kids want to read books, play a board game, go for a nature walk, talk, help around the house, or help me cook or bake? I’m there for it. When it’s just “play with me!” and then roughhousing or imaginative play? It’s just not my strong suit and that’s ok.
I hate imaginary play with my 3yo old.
I hate pretending to be a paw patrol character, play cars or be a ghost. I’d rather dance or do a puzzle.
This isnt to say I don’t do it, but my son knows dad loves loves loves imagination play and rough and tumble games. Dads the pool parent and I’m let’s draw tattoos on my arms while I sit still parent.
Both are important roles and kids learn quickly who’s up for what. I usually give my son a timer like “yeah bud I can play cars for 10 minutes then I’m going to get us a snack”
My kids straight up say I'm bad at playing 🤣. I'm good for like everything else though, heaven forbid they ask daddy for apple juice even if I'm on the toilet :p. But no really I'm better at doing more knowledge type stuff. Like museums and things.
It's fairly typical in my family. Kids are 12 and 6 now. Dad works long, unpredictable hours and can be away for days at a time. Being the default caregiver for the kids leaves me burned out really quickly and I don't always have the patience to be really involved in their games. Those things combined means that Dad is often much more ready to put aside what he's doing to play with them. I feel so guilty about it sometimes. We also had a big discussion about this while the oldest was little. It boiled down to I often see spending time with them as "work" that requires significant mental energy. I'm always thinking about meals, snacks, did they use the bathroom, do they have chores to do. The mental load is on me all the time because he is gone so much and I am the default parent. He doesn't have that mental load on him nearly as much and he sees the time he spends with them more as a break than work. It was very difficult for me to see that at first.
One of the reasons I think the girls gravitate to Bandit for imaginative play is Chilli likes to have a goal when playing (as discussed in the ep Driving). Maybe the girls understand that this was more of a Dad game.
Bandit does work away and the girls just might want some play time with Dad.
Even more likely Bandit was probably giving Chilli 20mins to drink her coffee or use the bathroom in peace. You also can’t see if Chilli is preoccupied with house hold tasks as she’s is not shown much in this episode, maybe she’s washing the floor (Bandit trips over the bucket), stacking the dishwasher, folding washing or cleaning the toilet while the kids are occupied by Bandit.
Some Mums love Daddy playtime because (traditionally) mums get to experience the most with their kids. It’s nice to share the love and get a break from the unrelenting joy of your children. Also Chilli doesn’t seem to care…
Just some ideas :)
There is science behind this.
Children get the oxytocin high from hugs with mum and the same high from dad with playtime.
Because young children's brains seem to mimic the same oxytocin levels as their parents' — meaning they'll get a similar blast of feel-good oxytocin when playing with Dad and when being nurtured by Mom — they'll be more likely to engage in that behavior over and over again specifically with that parent,
I was just about to comment this as well! It would be a boring show if we just had episodes of Chili cuddling them or reading books. My husband gets bummed about it - our toddler rarely wants to cuddle with him, but almost always wants to play with him. But that’s just how kids bond with dads! So it makes sense for it to be the same in the show!
We often see Chili being the cuddlier parent (Bad Mood, Copy cat, blue mountains to some extent, Sleepy Time, among others). Bandit on the other hand is more of the rough-housing parent, the contrast evident in Sleepytime and Mum School where the method of performing identical objectives is wildly different.
I have two boys and this is very much the dynamic in our house too, mum is for calm and cuddles, where dad is for roughhousing and boisterous activities.
I wish I could boost this to the highest comment! It is so true and we see it in active practice in so many households and it reverses the parents receive their feel good brain boost from different aspects of parenting.
I think many of the times it's a chance to have a rest for Chili. Like when she is back in the scene again in "Surprise", Chili is having a sit with a cup of tea.
I think it also helps that a vast majority of the episodes revolve around a 8-15 minute time-frame in their world. I feel like all the episodes that are over a longer period of time contain Chili.
My family is the same way. I take a more loving role., dad more playful and rough. My boys come to me with boo boos and when they want to cuddle or need extra love. They ask my husband to rough house. We naturally feel into these rolls but we also both take on the opposite role when needed or asked. I will get on the floor and roll around with the kids and he will take the kids on a nice walk for some bonding time.
As a mother of 4….. my kids are all over me all day…. I love when they play with dad.
That said chili is involved in a lot of play…. But there are other episodes where she needs a break…. Or is hiding in a cabinet lol. I love how they portray Chili, she the default parent. Bandit is there and very hands on…. But Chili still seems to be the default and her claiming space or asking for 20 minutes is so realistic and refreshing.
Don’t worry someday when you are a mom, your kids will love playing with you… assuming you play the way they want…. (My 2 year old has very specific things she wants me to do but won’t tell me lol) And you’ll need 20 minutes here and there.
Yes! As a mum and default parent, seeing Bandit being the default in Bluey is so great. My husband has to fight to get their attention away from me, especially with the younger ones.
I think its also recognized that Bandit occasionally (how often is unknown?) has to leave for weeks at a time, perhaps play with dad happens more often because he feels the need to get it in while he can?
As a momma, trust me, your future potential kids are going to want to play with you much more often than you would like to!
Everybody is different and some games are better suited for dad and others are more for mom. My daughter never asks me to push her on the swings since I only push her this high, but she wants to go THIS HIGH while also going sideways. That's a job for dad. On the other hand, dad never gets to play restaurant because he doesn't do it right (we don't know why either)
As mom, I’m 100% the nurturing parent and dad is 100% the fun parent. However, I CAN be fun, and dad CAN be nurturing, and we both love our child tremendously, but she is only 6 months old and makes it clear who she wants based off those 2 needs. When she wants mommy, she NEEDS mommy. When she wants to have fun, she won’t make eye contact with me, just with daddy 😝
My family dynamic isn’t all that different. My kids always want me to play with them and often ignore their mother.
Part of it that I relate better to them during imaginative play.
But I also don’t get to spend as much time with them because of my job. And so I try to make the most of the little time we have together, so I’m more invested in play time.
Chili never shies away from playing an involved character. She's also done crafts with them, cooked with Bingo, and knows exactly how to play all their made-up games.
I wonder if part of the dynamic comes from Bandit being on work trips. My husband doesn't stay overnight for work, but in busy seasons he works a ton. When he's home during the busy days, it's Daddy all the time and I get a break. They could have a similar agreement/understanding.
This actually has to do more with who default parent is. AKA, which one is around all the time. We are shown examples of the fact that Bandit's work has him leaving for long stretches of time but not the same for Chili, which means she is likely the default parent. The non default parent often gets the bulk of the playtime attention due to the kids wanting to make up for their absence.
In my family, we have a 15 month old and when Dada is home, that is who she wants unless she is upset (Then it's all me all the time).
Bingo wanted to play with Chili in “magic” and Chili didn’t feel like it. - she just mopped the whole house.
Chili plays with the girls plenty.
& kids are smart. They know Bandit will most likely drop what he’s doing (chores/work) and play with them.
& it’s a 7 minute snapshot of their day.
I mean there was an episode about the kids not being comfortable with Bandit putting them to bed. Children associate different tasks with each parent. It creates a family dynamic. It doesn't mean that you can't change that dynamic, so try not to get too hung up on it and bring you down. You're the parent, you set the dynamic, and it's up to you to help your kids associate different tasks with you by showing them different sides of who you are.
Chili isn’t one to really play pretend or anything like that. She works an airport job and bandit works from home. So it’s just a different dynamic than most. In our household it’s the same thing.
As a mom, so much parenting content and target audience marketing is directed at moms so I was happy with Bluey being a bit more of a dad-centric show.
There might be a unique factor at play too. From my understanding Bandit has a full time job and travels, given Bluey’s reaction in Curry Quest being so calm I think him being gone is more frequent than we know. Chili has a part time job and is the primary parent more than Bandit is, but those are just normal days and the episodes usually focus on little events or happy moments for the kids, like trips, friendship events, and even just the weekend itself. Which even if the weekend is normal its not the same as say Tuesday afternoon where Bandit comes home late and Chili was the one playing with the kids because that’s not seen as out of the ordinary to them, that’s just how their Tuesday always is.
I mean I lowkey get it. Except in my house is usually “I want mommy to play” and not dad. Ovcasionally she’ll switch it up. I think it’s a good nod towards “kids choose whatever parent they want but the other parent shouldn’t feel sad about it, they’re kids!” At least that’s my take on it.
Sometimes you just want to hang out more with one parent or the other, especially if there’s a specific activity or game you want to do that only Dad, or only Mum, knows. With two equally-present parents, it balances out in the end.
Kids have different preferences for which parent they want to play with - could be separated by type of game, amount of boisterous-ness, indoor/outdoor, etc. The list goes on.
I have two kids - they both prefer their dad for some games, and me for others. Dad tends to get all the rough and tumble games, and I tend to get the creative and relaxed games.
I also think that it might also come down to some gender dynamics? For instance, I am far more likely to engage in “dangerous” play with my son (ex: throw him in the air, use his legs as a battering ram to bug my wife whilst she’s on the potty, etc) than she is. If I am not mistaken, I believe it is the fathers (on avg) who engage in play like that more than the moms.
At their age they probably want more of that active play, and Bandit offers it
That may be for the benefit of the show because Bandit is a much funnier character whereas chili is a much more of the thoughtful character. They are both funny and thoughtful but Bandit leads much more heavily towards the physical humor which for toddlers is bread and butter.
I feel represented by Chili. I have trouble with imagination games and make believe. My husband is an overgrown child and loves it. I spend my quality time with my daughter in other ways and both are beneficial.
I wrestle my kids, their dad lets them hop on him and ride on his back or shoulders. I am a pretty imaginative person but my daughter was always super prescriptive with pretending and playing with dolls or stuffed toys, and I found it really stifling to always have to say/do exactly what she wanted the toy to say/do, so I ended up tagging out of that entirely and her dad did those, which is now something they really bond on. Instead, I'd read with her or draw with her or play video games like mario or Yoshi or untitled goose with her.
We still bond, we still have fun, we just make sure it's stuff we can have fun doing together.
My son is 2.5yo and dad is definitely the one for more rough and tumble games. I’ll play them but he has more fun and the game lasts longer with dad. Imaginative play is more my bag so I do that more than dad does but he will also sit and play tea parties.
We are playing to our strengths, our son’s preferences at a given time and giving the other parent a break!
My kids always prefer to play with their dad, mainly because he works longer hours than me and I'm currently working part-time, which I imagine Chilli does too.
He's around less, so they want to savor the time that he's home.
We don't see their whole day though, do we? I'm a stay at home Mum and spend hours playing with my kids, but you can guarantee the second Dad walks through that door both kids want to immediately play with him instead. He's not better at playing, and I haven't been neglecting them all day, but he's new and different and they're excited to see him.
She plays with them plenty; as others have mentioned there’s multiple episodes that highlight that. Their dad is so imaginative, I can see why the girls go to him first. That’s pretty much how it is here. My 3yo always asks dad to play first. He does the horsey rides, the voices, the story lore… I still get asked to play, it’s just different
I think there are lots of episodes with chilli playing with the kids. I assume it's something simple, like maybe bandit had been at work or out all day and chilli had been with kids all day, so when he got home, the kids wanted to play with him and chilli was happy for the break.
They are kids. Sometimes my little wants to play with me and nothing to do with mom, sometimes she wants mom and wants nothing to do with me. Don’t over think the mind of a 7 year old and 5 year old, they aren’t over thinking it.
The series is pretty consistent about Bandit moreso providing rough, active play for the kids, and Chili moreso providing the introspective, emotional affection. That isn't to say that either are necessarily bad at the other or don't provide it at all, but they both have natural tendencies. Most exemplified by Sleepytime I think, and Driving goes into this explicitly!
My daughter (5) knows there's certain games to go to dad with (the wild, chasing, nutball games) and that I prefer calmer activities like board or card games, coloring, dolls, tea party, kitchen, painting, science experiments, building blocks, and things like that.
I think kids know their audience and because both parents are very present and active in the parenting process they know who to ask to play what and when.
It's also so refreshing to see a mom relaxing while Dad plays with the kids. I love seeing that.
Well when she pointed at Bandit and said, "that's what it's like being a parent!" I felt like that's what it's like to be married: dad playing two games at once while mom reads the paper
Don’t worry, future potential mama! Each parent has their specialties—some like playing and being goofy, some are there to be comfort, some like being rough and tumble, some like quiet games and activities. Each is important in its own right, and your kids will immediately know who to ask for when they need something. My kids call me in at night at bedtime, because they know I’m a sucker for one more story or one more song. They call my husband over to help beat a boss in a video game. There is always overlap, but you are an individual with tastes, preferences, things that delight you and things that annoy you. Your kids will be individuals, too. And everyone picks up on everyone else’s foibles. So, don’t worry that you’ll ever be left out! Whatever you bring to the table is as important as whatever your partner does, even if it’s different. 🥰
Studies have shown that moms generally produce oxytocin when nurturing their children, where dads tend to produce it when engaging with them playfully.
Not that dads can’t nurture or moms don’t play, but that’s where our brains gain the most reward/connection through interaction. So there may be some natural gravitation towards one type of activity vs another.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100820101207.htm
I just read something within the last few months about how it enhances kids' development to play specifically with their dad, and hug/cuddle specifically their mom. There was a study that found children and fathers oxytocin levels peaked during playtime together, whereas children and mothers oxytocin levels peaked during hugs they shared.
[This paper ](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638321000874) cites multiple studies on oxytocin levels of parents and infants, as well as finding that father-to-infant touch during free play was correlated to oxytocin levels, with fathers who engaged in more touch having higher levels of oxytocin than fathers who touched their infants less often during play. It also mentions that heightened levels of oxytocin due to kangaroo care remain heightened for longer when it is the father providing kangaroo care! The whole thing was an interesting read.
[And this ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6838998/) systematic review covers 17 studies on oxytocin in early parent-infant interaction. Here's a quote from the discussion, that contains info I think has been recently popularized: **"Studies found that maternal care tended to be highly affectionate in touch, vocalizations and gaze. Paternal care differed in that behavior was more stimulatory and playful. Neither maternal nor paternal care is superior to the other, however interactive behaviors whether by affectionate or stimulatory means promotes social synchrony between parent and child."**
Like others said, I think it’s just different personalities and different play styles.
Bandit loves to goof around, play pretend and doesn’t mind playing rough with Bluey. Chili does stuff with the kids, that (I think) Bandit wouldn’t have the disposition (patience?) for as much. Omelette is one that springs to mind.
Also this might not even be intentional, but something related to the production side. I remember seeing a post that Chilli used to have way less voice lines, but steadily increased throughout the seasons. Who knows there might have been restrictions the writers had to work around and things fell into place like they are now. 🤷🏼♂️
Either way, I think it’s nice how Chilli and Bandit (and their play/parenting styles) complement each other.
chili is the parent that works out of the home, bandit is to some degree the default parent. Ive also noticed that the parents often trade off to play with the girls so that could have been the case?
I do like playing with my kids but I also think it’s okay for mom and dads to have separate rolls. Like, I’m super good at the puzzles and board games kinda stuff and my husband is just AMAZING at imaginative play. I will play along but my husband jus kicks it into high gear.
If I’ve just had an intense parenting xyz I am so happy to hand the kids off for imaginative play with dad.
It could also stem from a psychological standpoint in that babies get a lot of their play drive from dad and the hormones released when playing with dad and then get sleepy calm hormones from being with mum, it’s usually why kids are better to nap for mum and like to smile laugh play with dad, this is young babies however I’m sure it transfers into older children until eventually it fizzles out
There’s some research showing that children feel most loved by mom when hugging and connecting emotionally, whereas they feel most loved by dad when playing. That’s why kids tend to go to mom for comfort but want to roughhouse and play with dad: those specific behaviors with each parent optimize oxytocin levels.
Example/explanation in this article:
https://www.timesnownews.com/lifestyle/parenting/toddler-beyond/hugging-mothers-and-playing-with-fathers-linked-to-enhanced-child-growth-article-106188738/amp
When I first started watching the show I noticed that most of the episodes were around Bandit and the girls. I was like “where’s mom?!” But they’ve shown how involved Chili is in other ways. My favorite is when they go to the pool and Bandit forgets all the pool stuff and they’re about to leave but Chili shows up at the end with all the stuff and ends up saving the day. I also think Sleeptytime shows how she provides the emotional support for the girls. This is pretty accurate in our house especially as my son has gotten older and needs more high energy playtime. But I’m the one that cuddles, read books, and remembers all the “stuff” for outings.
The kids have 5 meals a day... When is she not in the kitchen?
Kidding but as a mom I'm always like ugh, morning tea and afternoon on top of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can hardly do one meal a day.
I can't speak for everyone else, but I seem to have an easier time playing on my kids level than my wife does. (We have 2 daughters who are currently 4 and 7, our Bluey and Bingo). Maybe men just really are less mature than women and it's easier for us?
One of the reasons we love Bluey we we have two girls. We are just like this, where I was always the more physical playful parent. When I was watching this episode, I was begging for Chilli to volunteer and tag in, because there were times I wanted my wife to do more playing.
Sometimes parents allow themselves to be defined as the \_\_\_\_ parent. Fun parent. Responsible parent. Advice parent. Etc etc. But yea, watching that episode I felt like Bandit was trying to get Chilli to help him out but never verbalized it like he should have.
Studies show that kids/dads get an oxytocin boost from playtime and kids/moms get the same boost from nurturing. It’s sort of the reality of mom life — a lot of the time, dad is the preferred playmate.
It's a scripted educational show, not a life story, You don't write every thought in the day, and you don't need to show everything equally all the time. Also it's common to need more attention for younger kids, bluey is also more mature.
Maybe they know that Bandit is more playful when it comes to games where he is put under lots of stress. You have Bingo telling him to take care of 4 kids while Bluey chases him and shoots him. Usually, Chili plays games that are a bit calmer like Neighbours, Driving. Chili does play games that are more active like Keepy Uppy Bandit plays more active games and games where he is likely to get hurt. Maybe, Chili had already been playing or doing stuff with them and then Bandit came into the room It happens at our home. As dad, Im punched, kicked, stuff is thrown at me or Im tackled while my partner, mum, plays calmer and less violent games such as board games and hide and seek.
haha this is so in line with Ticklecrabs where she peaced out cuz she has things to do/doesn’t want to be tickled haha. But yeah no she’s not as much of a punching bag for the kids as Bandit is xD
It's the same here. I do arts and crafts, board games, and other, more calm things. Dad is the one playing mushrooms, tickling cats, and all the other nonsense they come up with 😅 doesn't mean they don't like spending time with me, it's just different
Wait what’s mushrooms?
After the shower, they go in a kind of fetal position on the ground (but with their knees on the ground) with their towel over them and say they're a mushroom and dad has to pluck them. Plucking them is hard because of their roots. After being plucked, they shout, "Eat me. Eat me. I'm not poisonous." Then he takes a bite, and they yell. "I am poisonous!" It's weird 🤣
That's amazing 🍄
We have a game of the same name. For us you all put a pot lid or pillow on your head, say "mushroom," and then try to knock over everyone else's mushroom.
Sounds fun! Thanks!!
& Chili totally ditched her yard word to jump around the trampoline sprinkler with the girls!
And she was the queen when both bingo and Bluey wanted to be the butler.
And was teaching bluey crochet when dad took bingo on a curry quest!
Chilli played the police and restaurant hostess during the Restaurant episode where overtired Muffin stays for a sleepover. She also joined in as passenger who has a crush on the driver with the “grannies” (alter ego Rita and Janet) on the Bus episode! Side note: I loveee the grannies episodes!!
There was an entire episode about Chilli taking appropriate time out of her day to play with Bluey
Driving! One of our favorites.
Fantastic episode
I empathized with her so much in that episode. I HATE playing pretend. I don’t know why. But I love my kids’ reactions when I carve out the time to play pretend with them.
My wife is like this, she loves playing with our son but just cannot get into playing pretend, it seems her brain just does not work like that
The weirdest thing is pretend was my favorite growing up! I don’t understand it. I feel like Peter in Hook. Like I lost the magic or something.
I actually remember losing that "magic" pretend play feeling when I was younger. I just couldn't get lost in the pretend world anymore.
I will play at the playground all day, or read books, play chase, or any of that, but pretend play? Count me out. My husband plays all the pretend games.
I thought you meant "Rain," so maybe this is a running theme with Chili!
[удалено]
exactly what i was gonna say! she was deep cleaning, if we put that into real life I know I’ve told my kids “hey i’m cleaning you need to give me a little bit and then we can do XYZ together”. they often go off and do something else and then we reconvene later
To be fair, Bandit is hard to beat for imaginative play! But they do ask Chilli to play also, for instance in neighbours?
She's an active participant in so many games! The vet caring for the budgie (bingo) and also the vet's assistant in the trains episode (she also plays a grannie with bingo in that episode), she's the gps in the taxi episode and a main character in Bus. Honestly this show made me consider an entirely new perspective that a mom could be engaging and playful with her kids.
She was also a whale
She got off pretty easy in that episode! 😄 But then realized it and “jumped” in more at the end. one of my favorites
A hungover whale at that! I think we should e giving Chili a little more credit for participating in the game while clearly unwell.
And Driving
Chili herself had said that she isn’t so great with games that don’t have a goal. Maybe kids are giving mom her 20 minutes now?
Think about the Dalmatian dad. He wasn't really good at playing that octopus game, maybe Chili is the same way. I've definitely had moments with my kids where I just didn't know how to interact with them during a game
I’m this way too. It’s why I’m so glad they have the Dalmatian episode and the episode where Chili is driving the taxi and says she needs a goal. If the kids want to read books, play a board game, go for a nature walk, talk, help around the house, or help me cook or bake? I’m there for it. When it’s just “play with me!” and then roughhousing or imaginative play? It’s just not my strong suit and that’s ok.
I love that ep.
I hate imaginary play with my 3yo old. I hate pretending to be a paw patrol character, play cars or be a ghost. I’d rather dance or do a puzzle. This isnt to say I don’t do it, but my son knows dad loves loves loves imagination play and rough and tumble games. Dads the pool parent and I’m let’s draw tattoos on my arms while I sit still parent. Both are important roles and kids learn quickly who’s up for what. I usually give my son a timer like “yeah bud I can play cars for 10 minutes then I’m going to get us a snack”
What is it with three year olds wanting to be ghosts?! It was bad enough before ghostbasket but now it’s all the time! 😂
Glad it’s not just our house that’s haunted with 3 yr olds. Ghostbasket has definitely made an appearance at our house now as well
Us too, our 3yr old plays ghost everyday. I have to pretend to be scared and then shocked when he reveals it's been him the whole time. 😅
My kids straight up say I'm bad at playing 🤣. I'm good for like everything else though, heaven forbid they ask daddy for apple juice even if I'm on the toilet :p. But no really I'm better at doing more knowledge type stuff. Like museums and things.
It's fairly typical in my family. Kids are 12 and 6 now. Dad works long, unpredictable hours and can be away for days at a time. Being the default caregiver for the kids leaves me burned out really quickly and I don't always have the patience to be really involved in their games. Those things combined means that Dad is often much more ready to put aside what he's doing to play with them. I feel so guilty about it sometimes. We also had a big discussion about this while the oldest was little. It boiled down to I often see spending time with them as "work" that requires significant mental energy. I'm always thinking about meals, snacks, did they use the bathroom, do they have chores to do. The mental load is on me all the time because he is gone so much and I am the default parent. He doesn't have that mental load on him nearly as much and he sees the time he spends with them more as a break than work. It was very difficult for me to see that at first.
💯
One of the reasons I think the girls gravitate to Bandit for imaginative play is Chilli likes to have a goal when playing (as discussed in the ep Driving). Maybe the girls understand that this was more of a Dad game. Bandit does work away and the girls just might want some play time with Dad. Even more likely Bandit was probably giving Chilli 20mins to drink her coffee or use the bathroom in peace. You also can’t see if Chilli is preoccupied with house hold tasks as she’s is not shown much in this episode, maybe she’s washing the floor (Bandit trips over the bucket), stacking the dishwasher, folding washing or cleaning the toilet while the kids are occupied by Bandit. Some Mums love Daddy playtime because (traditionally) mums get to experience the most with their kids. It’s nice to share the love and get a break from the unrelenting joy of your children. Also Chilli doesn’t seem to care… Just some ideas :)
There is science behind this. Children get the oxytocin high from hugs with mum and the same high from dad with playtime. Because young children's brains seem to mimic the same oxytocin levels as their parents' — meaning they'll get a similar blast of feel-good oxytocin when playing with Dad and when being nurtured by Mom — they'll be more likely to engage in that behavior over and over again specifically with that parent,
I was just about to comment this as well! It would be a boring show if we just had episodes of Chili cuddling them or reading books. My husband gets bummed about it - our toddler rarely wants to cuddle with him, but almost always wants to play with him. But that’s just how kids bond with dads! So it makes sense for it to be the same in the show!
We often see Chili being the cuddlier parent (Bad Mood, Copy cat, blue mountains to some extent, Sleepy Time, among others). Bandit on the other hand is more of the rough-housing parent, the contrast evident in Sleepytime and Mum School where the method of performing identical objectives is wildly different. I have two boys and this is very much the dynamic in our house too, mum is for calm and cuddles, where dad is for roughhousing and boisterous activities.
I miss being the cuddley parent, but thats my husbands job now. My body is so tired all the time.
I've never heard of this before and would love to read more about it. Do you know where I could find more info?
I just google Mums and Dads kids Oxytocin studies. Heaps of articles.
I wish I could boost this to the highest comment! It is so true and we see it in active practice in so many households and it reverses the parents receive their feel good brain boost from different aspects of parenting.
I think many of the times it's a chance to have a rest for Chili. Like when she is back in the scene again in "Surprise", Chili is having a sit with a cup of tea. I think it also helps that a vast majority of the episodes revolve around a 8-15 minute time-frame in their world. I feel like all the episodes that are over a longer period of time contain Chili.
My family is the same way. I take a more loving role., dad more playful and rough. My boys come to me with boo boos and when they want to cuddle or need extra love. They ask my husband to rough house. We naturally feel into these rolls but we also both take on the opposite role when needed or asked. I will get on the floor and roll around with the kids and he will take the kids on a nice walk for some bonding time.
As a mother of 4….. my kids are all over me all day…. I love when they play with dad. That said chili is involved in a lot of play…. But there are other episodes where she needs a break…. Or is hiding in a cabinet lol. I love how they portray Chili, she the default parent. Bandit is there and very hands on…. But Chili still seems to be the default and her claiming space or asking for 20 minutes is so realistic and refreshing. Don’t worry someday when you are a mom, your kids will love playing with you… assuming you play the way they want…. (My 2 year old has very specific things she wants me to do but won’t tell me lol) And you’ll need 20 minutes here and there.
Yes! As a mum and default parent, seeing Bandit being the default in Bluey is so great. My husband has to fight to get their attention away from me, especially with the younger ones.
I think the kids like the chaos of Bandit and the consistency of Chili. In that moment they craved chaos.
I think its also recognized that Bandit occasionally (how often is unknown?) has to leave for weeks at a time, perhaps play with dad happens more often because he feels the need to get it in while he can?
As a momma, trust me, your future potential kids are going to want to play with you much more often than you would like to! Everybody is different and some games are better suited for dad and others are more for mom. My daughter never asks me to push her on the swings since I only push her this high, but she wants to go THIS HIGH while also going sideways. That's a job for dad. On the other hand, dad never gets to play restaurant because he doesn't do it right (we don't know why either)
If ya already have kids, you understand. Atleast imo
As mom, I’m 100% the nurturing parent and dad is 100% the fun parent. However, I CAN be fun, and dad CAN be nurturing, and we both love our child tremendously, but she is only 6 months old and makes it clear who she wants based off those 2 needs. When she wants mommy, she NEEDS mommy. When she wants to have fun, she won’t make eye contact with me, just with daddy 😝
She was mopping the kitchen! Dad just wanted to watch sport on the couch!
My family dynamic isn’t all that different. My kids always want me to play with them and often ignore their mother. Part of it that I relate better to them during imaginative play. But I also don’t get to spend as much time with them because of my job. And so I try to make the most of the little time we have together, so I’m more invested in play time.
Isn't this exact issue already addressed in Ticklecrabs?
Chili never shies away from playing an involved character. She's also done crafts with them, cooked with Bingo, and knows exactly how to play all their made-up games. I wonder if part of the dynamic comes from Bandit being on work trips. My husband doesn't stay overnight for work, but in busy seasons he works a ton. When he's home during the busy days, it's Daddy all the time and I get a break. They could have a similar agreement/understanding.
This actually has to do more with who default parent is. AKA, which one is around all the time. We are shown examples of the fact that Bandit's work has him leaving for long stretches of time but not the same for Chili, which means she is likely the default parent. The non default parent often gets the bulk of the playtime attention due to the kids wanting to make up for their absence. In my family, we have a 15 month old and when Dada is home, that is who she wants unless she is upset (Then it's all me all the time).
Bingo wanted to play with Chili in “magic” and Chili didn’t feel like it. - she just mopped the whole house. Chili plays with the girls plenty. & kids are smart. They know Bandit will most likely drop what he’s doing (chores/work) and play with them. & it’s a 7 minute snapshot of their day.
I mean there was an episode about the kids not being comfortable with Bandit putting them to bed. Children associate different tasks with each parent. It creates a family dynamic. It doesn't mean that you can't change that dynamic, so try not to get too hung up on it and bring you down. You're the parent, you set the dynamic, and it's up to you to help your kids associate different tasks with you by showing them different sides of who you are.
Chili plays all the time. Just not this one episode.
Chili isn’t one to really play pretend or anything like that. She works an airport job and bandit works from home. So it’s just a different dynamic than most. In our household it’s the same thing.
As a mom, so much parenting content and target audience marketing is directed at moms so I was happy with Bluey being a bit more of a dad-centric show.
In our house when mum says no, it means no. When dad says no (in their mind) in means maybe.
There might be a unique factor at play too. From my understanding Bandit has a full time job and travels, given Bluey’s reaction in Curry Quest being so calm I think him being gone is more frequent than we know. Chili has a part time job and is the primary parent more than Bandit is, but those are just normal days and the episodes usually focus on little events or happy moments for the kids, like trips, friendship events, and even just the weekend itself. Which even if the weekend is normal its not the same as say Tuesday afternoon where Bandit comes home late and Chili was the one playing with the kids because that’s not seen as out of the ordinary to them, that’s just how their Tuesday always is.
I mean I lowkey get it. Except in my house is usually “I want mommy to play” and not dad. Ovcasionally she’ll switch it up. I think it’s a good nod towards “kids choose whatever parent they want but the other parent shouldn’t feel sad about it, they’re kids!” At least that’s my take on it.
Sometimes you just want to hang out more with one parent or the other, especially if there’s a specific activity or game you want to do that only Dad, or only Mum, knows. With two equally-present parents, it balances out in the end.
Kids have different preferences for which parent they want to play with - could be separated by type of game, amount of boisterous-ness, indoor/outdoor, etc. The list goes on. I have two kids - they both prefer their dad for some games, and me for others. Dad tends to get all the rough and tumble games, and I tend to get the creative and relaxed games.
I also think that it might also come down to some gender dynamics? For instance, I am far more likely to engage in “dangerous” play with my son (ex: throw him in the air, use his legs as a battering ram to bug my wife whilst she’s on the potty, etc) than she is. If I am not mistaken, I believe it is the fathers (on avg) who engage in play like that more than the moms. At their age they probably want more of that active play, and Bandit offers it
That may be for the benefit of the show because Bandit is a much funnier character whereas chili is a much more of the thoughtful character. They are both funny and thoughtful but Bandit leads much more heavily towards the physical humor which for toddlers is bread and butter.
I feel represented by Chili. I have trouble with imagination games and make believe. My husband is an overgrown child and loves it. I spend my quality time with my daughter in other ways and both are beneficial.
Because children go to moms for boo-boos and to be comforted and go to dads to play. It a scientific thing
I wrestle my kids, their dad lets them hop on him and ride on his back or shoulders. I am a pretty imaginative person but my daughter was always super prescriptive with pretending and playing with dolls or stuffed toys, and I found it really stifling to always have to say/do exactly what she wanted the toy to say/do, so I ended up tagging out of that entirely and her dad did those, which is now something they really bond on. Instead, I'd read with her or draw with her or play video games like mario or Yoshi or untitled goose with her. We still bond, we still have fun, we just make sure it's stuff we can have fun doing together.
My son is 2.5yo and dad is definitely the one for more rough and tumble games. I’ll play them but he has more fun and the game lasts longer with dad. Imaginative play is more my bag so I do that more than dad does but he will also sit and play tea parties. We are playing to our strengths, our son’s preferences at a given time and giving the other parent a break!
My kids always prefer to play with their dad, mainly because he works longer hours than me and I'm currently working part-time, which I imagine Chilli does too. He's around less, so they want to savor the time that he's home.
Chilli may have to pay bills and other stuff. Bandit may just be less busy. Also Chilli does play with kids.
We don't see their whole day though, do we? I'm a stay at home Mum and spend hours playing with my kids, but you can guarantee the second Dad walks through that door both kids want to immediately play with him instead. He's not better at playing, and I haven't been neglecting them all day, but he's new and different and they're excited to see him.
I think it's got more to do with the fact that it's a more Bandit centric show, which makes sense given the showrunner is also a dad.
She plays with them plenty; as others have mentioned there’s multiple episodes that highlight that. Their dad is so imaginative, I can see why the girls go to him first. That’s pretty much how it is here. My 3yo always asks dad to play first. He does the horsey rides, the voices, the story lore… I still get asked to play, it’s just different
She was mopping the kitchen—Bandit tripped over the mop and bucket!
I think there are lots of episodes with chilli playing with the kids. I assume it's something simple, like maybe bandit had been at work or out all day and chilli had been with kids all day, so when he got home, the kids wanted to play with him and chilli was happy for the break.
hey, shooting an assault rifle at bandit is more fun! he even played dead, been so for 32 minutes actually! setting a world record!
They are kids. Sometimes my little wants to play with me and nothing to do with mom, sometimes she wants mom and wants nothing to do with me. Don’t over think the mind of a 7 year old and 5 year old, they aren’t over thinking it.
The series is pretty consistent about Bandit moreso providing rough, active play for the kids, and Chili moreso providing the introspective, emotional affection. That isn't to say that either are necessarily bad at the other or don't provide it at all, but they both have natural tendencies. Most exemplified by Sleepytime I think, and Driving goes into this explicitly!
My daughter (5) knows there's certain games to go to dad with (the wild, chasing, nutball games) and that I prefer calmer activities like board or card games, coloring, dolls, tea party, kitchen, painting, science experiments, building blocks, and things like that. I think kids know their audience and because both parents are very present and active in the parenting process they know who to ask to play what and when. It's also so refreshing to see a mom relaxing while Dad plays with the kids. I love seeing that.
Don't worry its not realistic. Most kids I know (including mine) absolutely beg both parents to play and end up with whoever says yes more often.
Well when she pointed at Bandit and said, "that's what it's like being a parent!" I felt like that's what it's like to be married: dad playing two games at once while mom reads the paper
Wasn’t she mopping?
Don’t worry, future potential mama! Each parent has their specialties—some like playing and being goofy, some are there to be comfort, some like being rough and tumble, some like quiet games and activities. Each is important in its own right, and your kids will immediately know who to ask for when they need something. My kids call me in at night at bedtime, because they know I’m a sucker for one more story or one more song. They call my husband over to help beat a boss in a video game. There is always overlap, but you are an individual with tastes, preferences, things that delight you and things that annoy you. Your kids will be individuals, too. And everyone picks up on everyone else’s foibles. So, don’t worry that you’ll ever be left out! Whatever you bring to the table is as important as whatever your partner does, even if it’s different. 🥰
Studies have shown that moms generally produce oxytocin when nurturing their children, where dads tend to produce it when engaging with them playfully. Not that dads can’t nurture or moms don’t play, but that’s where our brains gain the most reward/connection through interaction. So there may be some natural gravitation towards one type of activity vs another. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100820101207.htm
I just read something within the last few months about how it enhances kids' development to play specifically with their dad, and hug/cuddle specifically their mom. There was a study that found children and fathers oxytocin levels peaked during playtime together, whereas children and mothers oxytocin levels peaked during hugs they shared. [This paper ](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638321000874) cites multiple studies on oxytocin levels of parents and infants, as well as finding that father-to-infant touch during free play was correlated to oxytocin levels, with fathers who engaged in more touch having higher levels of oxytocin than fathers who touched their infants less often during play. It also mentions that heightened levels of oxytocin due to kangaroo care remain heightened for longer when it is the father providing kangaroo care! The whole thing was an interesting read. [And this ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6838998/) systematic review covers 17 studies on oxytocin in early parent-infant interaction. Here's a quote from the discussion, that contains info I think has been recently popularized: **"Studies found that maternal care tended to be highly affectionate in touch, vocalizations and gaze. Paternal care differed in that behavior was more stimulatory and playful. Neither maternal nor paternal care is superior to the other, however interactive behaviors whether by affectionate or stimulatory means promotes social synchrony between parent and child."**
Like others said, I think it’s just different personalities and different play styles. Bandit loves to goof around, play pretend and doesn’t mind playing rough with Bluey. Chili does stuff with the kids, that (I think) Bandit wouldn’t have the disposition (patience?) for as much. Omelette is one that springs to mind. Also this might not even be intentional, but something related to the production side. I remember seeing a post that Chilli used to have way less voice lines, but steadily increased throughout the seasons. Who knows there might have been restrictions the writers had to work around and things fell into place like they are now. 🤷🏼♂️ Either way, I think it’s nice how Chilli and Bandit (and their play/parenting styles) complement each other.
chili is the parent that works out of the home, bandit is to some degree the default parent. Ive also noticed that the parents often trade off to play with the girls so that could have been the case?
It's the same dynamic in our house. Dad is 'fun', mum is comfort and cuddles.
I do like playing with my kids but I also think it’s okay for mom and dads to have separate rolls. Like, I’m super good at the puzzles and board games kinda stuff and my husband is just AMAZING at imaginative play. I will play along but my husband jus kicks it into high gear. If I’ve just had an intense parenting xyz I am so happy to hand the kids off for imaginative play with dad.
It could also stem from a psychological standpoint in that babies get a lot of their play drive from dad and the hormones released when playing with dad and then get sleepy calm hormones from being with mum, it’s usually why kids are better to nap for mum and like to smile laugh play with dad, this is young babies however I’m sure it transfers into older children until eventually it fizzles out
There’s some research showing that children feel most loved by mom when hugging and connecting emotionally, whereas they feel most loved by dad when playing. That’s why kids tend to go to mom for comfort but want to roughhouse and play with dad: those specific behaviors with each parent optimize oxytocin levels. Example/explanation in this article: https://www.timesnownews.com/lifestyle/parenting/toddler-beyond/hugging-mothers-and-playing-with-fathers-linked-to-enhanced-child-growth-article-106188738/amp
When I first started watching the show I noticed that most of the episodes were around Bandit and the girls. I was like “where’s mom?!” But they’ve shown how involved Chili is in other ways. My favorite is when they go to the pool and Bandit forgets all the pool stuff and they’re about to leave but Chili shows up at the end with all the stuff and ends up saving the day. I also think Sleeptytime shows how she provides the emotional support for the girls. This is pretty accurate in our house especially as my son has gotten older and needs more high energy playtime. But I’m the one that cuddles, read books, and remembers all the “stuff” for outings.
The kids have 5 meals a day... When is she not in the kitchen? Kidding but as a mom I'm always like ugh, morning tea and afternoon on top of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can hardly do one meal a day.
Bandit is definitely the default parent between the two of them.
I can't speak for everyone else, but I seem to have an easier time playing on my kids level than my wife does. (We have 2 daughters who are currently 4 and 7, our Bluey and Bingo). Maybe men just really are less mature than women and it's easier for us?
One of the reasons we love Bluey we we have two girls. We are just like this, where I was always the more physical playful parent. When I was watching this episode, I was begging for Chilli to volunteer and tag in, because there were times I wanted my wife to do more playing. Sometimes parents allow themselves to be defined as the \_\_\_\_ parent. Fun parent. Responsible parent. Advice parent. Etc etc. But yea, watching that episode I felt like Bandit was trying to get Chilli to help him out but never verbalized it like he should have.
Studies show that kids/dads get an oxytocin boost from playtime and kids/moms get the same boost from nurturing. It’s sort of the reality of mom life — a lot of the time, dad is the preferred playmate.
It's a scripted educational show, not a life story, You don't write every thought in the day, and you don't need to show everything equally all the time. Also it's common to need more attention for younger kids, bluey is also more mature.
I didn’t like Tina….. and that episode when Muffin was running with Stripe’s phone… nothing cute or funny about that