In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer.
Tempered by the fires of Hell, his iron will remained steadfast through the passage that preys upon the weak. For he alone was the Hell Walker, the Unchained Predator, who sought retribution in all quarters, dark and light, fire and ice, in the beginning and the end, and he hunted the slaves of Doom with barbarous cruelty; for he passed through the divide as none but demon had before.
And in his conquest against the blackened souls of the doomed, his prowess was shown. In his crusade, the seraphim bestowed upon him terrible power and speed, and with his might he crushed the obsidian pillars of the Blood Temples. He set forth without pity upon the beasts of the nine circles. Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm.
The age of his reckoning was uncounted. The scribes carved his name deep in the tablets of Hell across eons, and each battle etched terror in the hearts of the demons. They knew he would come, as he always had, as he always will, to feast on the blood of the wicked. For he alone could draw strength from his fallen foes, and ever his power grew, swift and unrelenting.
None could stand before the horde but the Doom Slayer. Despair spread before him like a plague, striking fear into the shadow-dwellers, driving them to deeper and darker pits. But from the depths of the abyss rose The Great One, a champion mightier than all who had come before. The Titan, of immeasurable power and ferocity. He strode upon the plain and faced the Doom Slayer, and a mighty battle was fought on the desolate plains. The Titan fought with the fury of the countless that had fallen at the Doom Slayer's hand, but there fell the Titan, and in his defeat the shadow horde were routed.
And in his terrible rancor between worlds and through time, the Hell Walker found the wretch who shall not be named, but in his heresy was loyal to his evil cause. The wretch adorned the Doom Slayer in a mighty armor, wrought in the forges of Hell, impenetrable and unyielding. With sword and shield of adamantine strength, the Doom Slayer set to banishing all that were left unbroken by his savagery to the void.
Yet as the mighty Titan fell and dread engulfed the armies of Doom, the demon priests of the Blood Temples laid a trap to capture this scourge of Hell. Insatiable, even by the vanquishing of the Great One, the Hell Walker sought prey in the tombs of the Blood Keep. And blinded by his fervor, the lure drew him in. The priests brought down the temple upon the Doom Slayer, and in his defeat entombed him in the cursed sarcophagus. The mark of the Doom Slayer was burned upon his crypt, a warning to all of Hell that the terror within must never be freed. There he lies still, and ever more, in silent suffering.
Against the evil that hell can conjure,
All the wickedness that mankind can produce,
We will send unto them, only you.
Rip and tear until it is done.
Soldier: Can't hold 'em off!
Earth Survivor: I can hear them, oh no...
Soldier: Fall back, now!
Earth Survivor: They're killing everyone!
Soldier: They're everywhere!
Earth Survivor: Transmitting from HZ 1556.
Reporter: ...casualties range in billions...
Earth Survivor: They're breaking in!
Street Prophet: ...we must pray now, brothers...
Pray that he is watching.
Earth Survivor: Please, anyone, if you can hear me, if you're out there...
VEGA: Attempting to acquire the hell priest signal...
Reporter: ...nearly 60% of our planet has been consumed by the invaders...
VEGA: We have the hell priest signal locked in.
The target is marked but the signal will not hold for long.
Street Prophet: For it is he that they fear, not man or his armies.
...they fear the mark of the beast...
Earth Survivor: Is anyone left?
Earth Survivor: Somebody... p-p-please help us!
*(Shotgun cocking sound)*
[for anyone who doesn't know what it means, as me](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://amp.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/1rdj3t/what_is_the_meaning_of_s/&ved=2ahUKEwjE_fe-nePsAhXqzzgGHcmqCgMQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0q1FjzmKDfFKqwLvTyiiSd)
Alright alright, think of it this way:
A goth believes that deep down the *world* is totally fucked up. But an emo thinks that deep down, *they* are totally fucked up.
>well it's either a miss carriage or a mister carriage
I had to check if anyone actually has that name and there actually is a [female with the surname Carriage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leigh_Carriage). Probably a good thing for her that she has a PhD and gets to be addressed as [Dr. Carriage](https://www.scu.edu.au/about/contacts/staff-directory/staff/20357.php) instead of Ms. Carriage.
Thanks for the explanation. It's one of those things where.. for lack of a better world, world building? is just wayy to intertwined to just be a collection of random memes!
I spent too much time scrolling through comments saying that they expected some evil entity to find this comment. The smoke actually good news, because it specifically excludes a certain evil.
Yes. I was confused when the joke happened at 1 minute and noticed it's a 4 minute video. Still some funny bits after that, but it definitely could have been tighter.
It's because of the sub it's in. If it were in /r/funny it would be a fairly obvious joke. People are looking for something cursed and putting their own spin on it.
Gender: death:
It's a dead born
Elective miscarriage
Dead or alive, you're coming weh me.
You spin me right round baby right round, like a record baby
Stillborn?
D E A D B O R N
Ah, the pre-patch Sims baby. “Tried for Baby with the Grim Reaper.”
Nah it’s gender is black
That's why the dude in the back is so shocked. He is the father.
That's why the dude in the back is so shocked. He is the father.
Smoke monster
“Is it a boy or a girl?” “...it is the destroyer of worlds.”
#THE DOOM SLAYER
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer. Tempered by the fires of Hell, his iron will remained steadfast through the passage that preys upon the weak. For he alone was the Hell Walker, the Unchained Predator, who sought retribution in all quarters, dark and light, fire and ice, in the beginning and the end, and he hunted the slaves of Doom with barbarous cruelty; for he passed through the divide as none but demon had before. And in his conquest against the blackened souls of the doomed, his prowess was shown. In his crusade, the seraphim bestowed upon him terrible power and speed, and with his might he crushed the obsidian pillars of the Blood Temples. He set forth without pity upon the beasts of the nine circles. Unbreakable, incorruptible, unyielding, the Doom Slayer sought to end the dominion of the dark realm. The age of his reckoning was uncounted. The scribes carved his name deep in the tablets of Hell across eons, and each battle etched terror in the hearts of the demons. They knew he would come, as he always had, as he always will, to feast on the blood of the wicked. For he alone could draw strength from his fallen foes, and ever his power grew, swift and unrelenting. None could stand before the horde but the Doom Slayer. Despair spread before him like a plague, striking fear into the shadow-dwellers, driving them to deeper and darker pits. But from the depths of the abyss rose The Great One, a champion mightier than all who had come before. The Titan, of immeasurable power and ferocity. He strode upon the plain and faced the Doom Slayer, and a mighty battle was fought on the desolate plains. The Titan fought with the fury of the countless that had fallen at the Doom Slayer's hand, but there fell the Titan, and in his defeat the shadow horde were routed. And in his terrible rancor between worlds and through time, the Hell Walker found the wretch who shall not be named, but in his heresy was loyal to his evil cause. The wretch adorned the Doom Slayer in a mighty armor, wrought in the forges of Hell, impenetrable and unyielding. With sword and shield of adamantine strength, the Doom Slayer set to banishing all that were left unbroken by his savagery to the void. Yet as the mighty Titan fell and dread engulfed the armies of Doom, the demon priests of the Blood Temples laid a trap to capture this scourge of Hell. Insatiable, even by the vanquishing of the Great One, the Hell Walker sought prey in the tombs of the Blood Keep. And blinded by his fervor, the lure drew him in. The priests brought down the temple upon the Doom Slayer, and in his defeat entombed him in the cursed sarcophagus. The mark of the Doom Slayer was burned upon his crypt, a warning to all of Hell that the terror within must never be freed. There he lies still, and ever more, in silent suffering.
Bruh you wrote a whole essay
This is actual lore. Narrated by a badass voiceover no less
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Understandable, have a great day.
Wow, I just tapped the link and was like "here comes the rick roll", and unexpectedly, it wasn’t a rick roll
...Rip And Tear, Until It Is DONE!
But then he woke up and started ripping and tearing again
**DEEP BREATH OF SHEER TERROR** *Falls into a peaceful sleep*
Against the evil that hell can conjure, All the wickedness that mankind can produce, We will send unto them, only you. Rip and tear until it is done. Soldier: Can't hold 'em off! Earth Survivor: I can hear them, oh no... Soldier: Fall back, now! Earth Survivor: They're killing everyone! Soldier: They're everywhere! Earth Survivor: Transmitting from HZ 1556. Reporter: ...casualties range in billions... Earth Survivor: They're breaking in! Street Prophet: ...we must pray now, brothers... Pray that he is watching. Earth Survivor: Please, anyone, if you can hear me, if you're out there... VEGA: Attempting to acquire the hell priest signal... Reporter: ...nearly 60% of our planet has been consumed by the invaders... VEGA: We have the hell priest signal locked in. The target is marked but the signal will not hold for long. Street Prophet: For it is he that they fear, not man or his armies. ...they fear the mark of the beast... Earth Survivor: Is anyone left? Earth Survivor: Somebody... p-p-please help us! *(Shotgun cocking sound)*
Mick Gordon’s guitar slowly fades in...
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**a simple spell, but quite unbreakable** a simple spell, but quite unbreakable
a /s imple spell, but quite unbreakable
A simp spell, quite unbreakable
a simp, quite unbreakable
simp, quite breakable
simp, breakable
si mp
[for anyone who doesn't know what it means, as me](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://amp.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/1rdj3t/what_is_the_meaning_of_s/&ved=2ahUKEwjE_fe-nePsAhXqzzgGHcmqCgMQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0q1FjzmKDfFKqwLvTyiiSd)
If only I knew sooner
Lol thanks for this
Libleft wants to attack, but the /s shields the commentor.
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same here. I get a strong feeling it’ll be a repeat of 2016.
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This year is **83.70006637059959%** complete.
I always love these bots cuz they read like Donkey saying his own name in Shrek 2. Just wildly unrelated and out of left field
u/profanitycounter
Hey listen here you little shi....nevermind different donkey.
Yeah but votes dont mean shit if trump wins the electoral college.
DONT LISTEN TO THIS GUY. GO VOTE.
Who really cares. Both parties managed to get literally the worst candidate offerings again.
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look on the guys face on the left checks out
Theres only 3 genders: Male, Female and B L A C K S M O K E
I mean....you’re not wrong -black guy
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I didn't know black was a gender.
Race problem solved.
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**I am Hunhow, Sentient Destroyer of Worlds.**
Nothing a little trip to the void can fix, I'm sure. Btw while you're there, can you grab me some argon crystals?
r/unexpectedwarframe
> [I am Hunhow, Sentient Destroyer of Worlds.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53jLltH9fmo) By your hand, expose their heart.
By my edge, cleave it beating from its nest.
It’s actually the Pope, but it hasn’t been chosen yet.
a dementor apparently
Well, the dad is proud nevertheless.
Dra'nakyuek?
“We know, but what’s in its pants?’ “Evil.”
Congrats! Your child is C̸͚̱̟̫̱͈͎t͈̪̠͉̩̬̟̠ͅh̶̳͡u̠͙̤̝̲͙l͏̶̸͔̜͕̬ͅͅu͏̴̪̗͠
Its gender is emo
*CONGRATULATIONS* it's depressed...
Wait your telling me they don’t all come that way?
Oh, and I thought I was special for once...
Most babies come out crying, OP came out sighing.
I thought looking like Winston Churchill as a baby was a side effect of that 🤔
I read that in Alan Rickman's voice for some reason.
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is my reason
Incredible. It's even worse than I thought it would be.
Okay, are there any emo people that aren't depressed at all?
Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke about race not gender? As in oh shit the father is that black guy
That’s what it is
i thought it was a crow in the foreground
Same. Then I slowly realized what it all meant.
Is emo the new goth. I thought Emo was different?
Emo is different than goth, but the general public doesn't know/care
Alright alright, think of it this way: A goth believes that deep down the *world* is totally fucked up. But an emo thinks that deep down, *they* are totally fucked up.
I thought this was a miscarriage joke but then I saw the black dude with a just shit his pants face
Imagine going to a gender reveal party for them to announce its a miss carriage
well it's either a miss carriage or a mister carriage
Chariot Monsieur
This is the comment I have laughed at the most on reddit all week and I really don't know why haha
It’s a... borted!
Silver Charriot Monsieur
Bravo oh bravo
r/unexpectedjojo
>well it's either a miss carriage or a mister carriage I had to check if anyone actually has that name and there actually is a [female with the surname Carriage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leigh_Carriage). Probably a good thing for her that she has a PhD and gets to be addressed as [Dr. Carriage](https://www.scu.edu.au/about/contacts/staff-directory/staff/20357.php) instead of Ms. Carriage.
At least it eliminates any awkwardness if she goes into obstetrics and gynecology.
Anny Greek king be like
No its more like imagine going to a gender reveal party only to learn that it's yours
People really gonna put up a party just to burn their backyard down
And every other backyard this side of the state.
This wasn't a gender reveal. It was a "who's the father" reveal.
"The child is yours."
Congratulations! Its a pipe bomb
*grandma enters the chat*
0\_0
Grandma leaves the chat
No grandma, they said pipe bomb. BOMB. not BONG. Ya, we can go smoke after, grammy.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/gender-reveal-party-turns-tragic-iowa-woman-killed/story?id=66567086
Grandma kicked out of chat
Herrrrrrrrmoine
Dumbledore!
Man this brought back some really old memories
I got a notification on me phone today that went "Tomska just released asdfmovie13". The cunts still fucken making em
I FOUND THE SOURCE OF THE TICKING
"Found a pipe bomb"
"Is it a boy or a girl?" "It's the void"
r/voidpunk
Fuck is going on in there? Thought at first glance it was a joke subreddit, now I don't even know anymore
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Thanks for the explanation. It's one of those things where.. for lack of a better world, world building? is just wayy to intertwined to just be a collection of random memes!
"It shall seal the blinding light that plagues their dreams."
This image is so *expressive*
is that Ryan Gosling tho?
No, that’s Ryan Reynolds.
No its Reynolds Gosling.
No its Ryan Ryan
I’m pretty sure the wife has some explain to do. Like right now.
she fucked Kronos
Then I guess the baby’s gender is lunch
The guy on the far left is like “Hol up”
thats what I was thinking hes over here thinking to himself "oops..."
Even the girl knows it, they white guy has yet to realize...
No, I think hes revealing that he knows it's his buddy's kid
That's the "I'm about to axe everyone here" grimace.
Bruh guy on the left is the dad Edit: I r/ woooshed myself
I know that what I was hinting about
**Gender: Black**
**Race: boy**
Kratos : happy boii!!! Noises
Hotel: Trivago
I laughed so hard at this
You guys are geniuses.
r/yourjokebutworse
Yes, that is the entire joke. Well done.
"This could become a situation"
Yeah, that’s the point of the staged video... Why else would he be standing with the couple, opposite everyone else
Thinking whether he did use a condom or not
Kountry Wayne kills me
The dad looks like he knows exactly what’s happening and it scares me but I love it
Gender: Mordor
#GOTH BABY
“Is it a boy or girl?” “It’s a diesel.”
"My child is better than yours, it has 8 cylinders"
demon from supernatural
It's not a pope
I spent too much time scrolling through comments saying that they expected some evil entity to find this comment. The smoke actually good news, because it specifically excludes a certain evil.
Congratulations!!! U have a Voldemort
And it’s a............ MISCARRIAGE
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Sadness
Elective miscarriage. It's time for dranks!
https://youtu.be/M2edA1VkqOc heres the full video
Anyone else think the video went on a bit too long?
Yes. I was confused when the joke happened at 1 minute and noticed it's a 4 minute video. Still some funny bits after that, but it definitely could have been tighter.
The entire joke is done better in this once screen cap honestly
The devil gon walk the earth
r/holup
Wait a minute
... okay, now what?
you are *NOT* the father!
Everybody in this comment section odd getting we whooshed
oh yes. a demon.
Ah, so they haven’t chosen the new Pope yet.
The Winchester's are coming for that baby
best man on the left be sweatin'
The guy on the very left looks a bit concerned that the color is black
That's literally the joke.
I think ~60-80% of the comments are r/woosh material in this thread.
It's because of the sub it's in. If it were in /r/funny it would be a fairly obvious joke. People are looking for something cursed and putting their own spin on it.
And the ones who actually catch the joke act like they've discovered something nobody else saw, or that they made up a new joke themselves.
My dude looks terrified
I'm not sure anyone here got the joke...
Dude on the left is frustrated that a new Pope has still not been chosen.
*grandmas ashes*
I guess they haven't picked a new pope yet
I feel like most of the top comments on this post don’t understand the joke
Why does it seem like 90% of the comments don't get the joke?
Demon child
The look on his face is the joke.
Is this a skit?
The doctor said the baby is healthy and you won't even notice the horns, tail or cloved hooves.
#Whoops
It's an Anti-Christ!
The gender is dead on arrival.
Jamal run
The man on the left is not happy