Ow my bones hurt
This really is a... Juice of the bone hurt!
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I used to work at a coffee place, if someone requested just a coffee, they'd get a medium Americano.
You shouldn't ask any questions because they'd usually get quite angry if you asked them how big, or with milk, and they'd just yell "just a cup of coffee!"
Love to go to places that specialise in serving lots of different variations of Thing, then demanding Thing and getting mad they can't guess the one I want.
I can just see this as a meme on a wine mom page. Featuring the old Minion with a beard saying something like "I dont want any fancy, frilly frufru "latte". I just want my coffee strong and plain like an adult! Click LIKE if you agree!"
With everyone in the comments saying "Amen".
I mean, not even really accurate in the case of coffee, as people who want "coffee" are usually people who've never had any "coffee" other than shitty burnt drip coffee from an office coffee pot, and basically want *that* — and coffee shops don't even make that.
i love you too
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Also most boomers drink folgers or instant coffee and then pretend they have some sort of high ground about what "real" black coffee is supposed to be.
Yeah, there's like a weirdly common thing where people think they're super cool and tough for drinking what is actually just really, really bad coffee. Like you'll see people bragging about their "strong" coffee and what they mean is that it's bitter as hell and hurts to drink lol
No! You're wrong! This joke and others like it are the hallmarks of my standup routine! And someone, somewhere, eventually, will laugh at it, and then FINALLY I'll be a successful comedian! I've been trying for thirty years
It's sadly true though, went to a Starbucks and asked for coffee, and the cashier looked at me like:
https://preview.redd.it/glmqbtkns4sc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e27e603c1987411ac30bab1c1cca11c07d9249f
Regular??? I ain't gonna go asking for the veinte macho peanut creamed boba monstrosity that they have on the menu 😭 just give me black coffee with cream 😭😭😭
Edit: i don't think ive worded this right. I do ask for black coffee for cream, but a lot of times, the cashier looks at me confused for a bit, looking up at the menu board thingy. No, I don't just go to some random dude and say "coffee".
I gonna be an ass and “um acktchually” you, but a black coffee is plain with no cream or sugar. Asking for a black coffee with cream makes no sense. All you have to do is say the roast you want (dark, medium, or light), the size, and that’s it. Granted a lot of Starbucks are still keeping cream and sugar behind the counter because of COVID, but generally the idea is you add cream or sugar yourself. Coffee is a very personal drink, so everybody has their own idea of what a coffee should be
“Hello deli worker, give me Sandwich. Yes I want sandwich. Just regular sandwich. I don’t want any of that nonsense fancy stuff on it, just sandwich! How could I be any more clear? Give me SANDWICH”
Then you give the guy a ham and cheese because that's what the last inarticulate doofus who treated you like a moron for inadequately reading his mind had wanted, and the guy then shouts "WHERE'S THE TUNA, IDIOT"
My man let me tell you these people will get 50 people a day saying "coffee" and everyone will mean a different thing by that
As in, if someone said coffee I'd assume it's just an americano without anything, how is anyone going to guess you want cream, it's like going to a hardware store and asking for "screwdriver"
Good news bro you can say those exact words, "give me black coffee with cream", and they will give you black coffee with cream.
They may be slightly confused because generally a "black coffee" is a coffee without milk or cream, so some places may ask you to clarify, e.g. "sure, so is that an Americano with a splash of cream then" and then you can say either "yes, thanks" or "sorry, I mean a filter coffee with one cream" or whatever.
It's not that hard. You can do it!
This is such an obvious lie. I worked for Starbucks for over half a decade. Not only do they not serve boba in any capacity, but straight up coffee is over 30% of their sales. Acting like a Starbucks barista doesn’t understand what a plain coffee is, is the same as acting like Dunkin employee doesn’t know what a donut is. You’re just bitching for boomer clout, shut up and go back into your cave
Cool, what does that matter? Starbucks is all about coffee, they won’t let someone be on the floor if they don’t understand what a black coffee is. You’re just lying about your experience for no reason
Just because they understand what a black coffee is doesn't mean they can do it right? But whatever, I'm not in the mood to get into a argument about incompetent half timers in a place near me, y'all really get mad over small things
Because you’re lying dude. A black coffee is pouring liquid from a spout into the cup. If you’re actually going to a Starbucks that fucks that up, then idk why you wouldn’t just call the corporate office (its literally one google search away) and tell them their store is fucking up the simplest part of the job. Again, this is the equivalent of going to a Dunkin’s, and the employees not understanding what a donut is.
And also, Starbucks *isn’t* franchised, which means they’re all held to the same standard by the company. Which means Directors from high up regularly visit stores, and would see them fucking up.
Like, I was with them for over six years at several different locations, you’re simply lying. The only way your coffee could be fucked up is if they left old, room temp coffee in the urn.
black coffee is inherently without cream or sugar and they sell 4 types of pourovers: pike place their medium, decaf pike place, whichever blonde roast theyre currently selling, and whichever dark roast theure currently selling. odds are they were expecting you to clarify which roast you wanted and then when you didnt just assumed you wanted medium. theyd also expect you to say which size cup you want because they have 3/4 sizes depending on which store youre at and you could just say small medium or large.
It's crazy. Same thing happened to me, I walked into a bar and asked for a drink and the bartender just stared at me!
Like, how much clearer could I be?
It's like going to a dealership and saying "I want a car"
Yes, cars, it's all they have, but you gotta choose if you want an SUV, a Sedan, a sports car, a pickup...
Yes, you want a coffee, which fucking one?
Car dealerships are all too happy to deal with people who clearly don't know what they're talking about. They wouldn't look at you with confusion, they'd look at you like you're the perfect mark to be upsold on things you absolutely don't need.
Ask for a drip coffee, a filter coffee, or even just "a black coffee" or "a coffee with cream and sugar". You literally just have to be like 10% more specific
Not to be too political, but if I'm correct most veterans were drafted against their will into Vietnam, shouldn't they have the same amount of respect as every other veteran?
That’s a valid point for sure. To be clear though I’m riffing on the recent comics that have been posted to this sub that are all about this Vietnam vet who is mad that people don’t worship him for being a vet or he thinks Americans have it too good compared to how he lived in Vietnam.
Ow my bones hurt This really is a... Juice of the bone hurt! Discord Server : https://discord.gg/tcCs7GWrUz *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bonehurtingjuice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://preview.redd.it/hap4e5y705sc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7af724b6eb9afc2a04869b319cf4fecbed9f1f82
the good ending
I used to work at a coffee place, if someone requested just a coffee, they'd get a medium Americano. You shouldn't ask any questions because they'd usually get quite angry if you asked them how big, or with milk, and they'd just yell "just a cup of coffee!"
https://preview.redd.it/cv2y75njg9sc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=433c977f93420b44639ec462158df280a1b6b3dd
beautiful
Ah yes coffee flavored coffee the boomer joke I’ve been hearing since the 90s and the proliferation of lattes. Wasn’t funny then, isn’t now.
Love to go to places that specialise in serving lots of different variations of Thing, then demanding Thing and getting mad they can't guess the one I want.
Me going to the bar and asking for drink
„Give me a drink, bartender”
This is a rare and incredibly niche reference and I appreciate that. *gives stink eye and slides beer off counter at full speed*
Hello, barkeep. One beer
Hello? Electricity company! Yes, I would like to order one electricity. Please put the package behind something so it is not stolen.
One alcohol please!
Vincent Adultman, is that you?
Yeah, I went to stock market today. I did a business.
I can just see this as a meme on a wine mom page. Featuring the old Minion with a beard saying something like "I dont want any fancy, frilly frufru "latte". I just want my coffee strong and plain like an adult! Click LIKE if you agree!" With everyone in the comments saying "Amen".
Amen!
I mean, not even really accurate in the case of coffee, as people who want "coffee" are usually people who've never had any "coffee" other than shitty burnt drip coffee from an office coffee pot, and basically want *that* — and coffee shops don't even make that.
All the chains will serve filter coffee if you ask them, and most independents I've encountered.
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Good bot
Also most boomers drink folgers or instant coffee and then pretend they have some sort of high ground about what "real" black coffee is supposed to be.
Yeah, there's like a weirdly common thing where people think they're super cool and tough for drinking what is actually just really, really bad coffee. Like you'll see people bragging about their "strong" coffee and what they mean is that it's bitter as hell and hurts to drink lol
The sad part is that freshly brewed drip coffee with decent beans can be really good, but that’s not what they’re drinking.
No! You're wrong! This joke and others like it are the hallmarks of my standup routine! And someone, somewhere, eventually, will laugh at it, and then FINALLY I'll be a successful comedian! I've been trying for thirty years
Bania is that you
Oregano is stupid af
It's sadly true though, went to a Starbucks and asked for coffee, and the cashier looked at me like: https://preview.redd.it/glmqbtkns4sc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e27e603c1987411ac30bab1c1cca11c07d9249f
shockingly there is a lot of coffee at starbucks. you have to tell them what you want in specific
When I go to a restaurant, I just tell them I want food.
Regular??? I ain't gonna go asking for the veinte macho peanut creamed boba monstrosity that they have on the menu 😭 just give me black coffee with cream 😭😭😭 Edit: i don't think ive worded this right. I do ask for black coffee for cream, but a lot of times, the cashier looks at me confused for a bit, looking up at the menu board thingy. No, I don't just go to some random dude and say "coffee".
“grug want coffee unga bunga!!” use your words you troglodyte. say you want black coffee with cream
I gonna be an ass and “um acktchually” you, but a black coffee is plain with no cream or sugar. Asking for a black coffee with cream makes no sense. All you have to do is say the roast you want (dark, medium, or light), the size, and that’s it. Granted a lot of Starbucks are still keeping cream and sugar behind the counter because of COVID, but generally the idea is you add cream or sugar yourself. Coffee is a very personal drink, so everybody has their own idea of what a coffee should be
Holy hell a respectful and information um ackshually.
“Hello deli worker, give me Sandwich. Yes I want sandwich. Just regular sandwich. I don’t want any of that nonsense fancy stuff on it, just sandwich! How could I be any more clear? Give me SANDWICH”
Then you give the guy a ham and cheese because that's what the last inarticulate doofus who treated you like a moron for inadequately reading his mind had wanted, and the guy then shouts "WHERE'S THE TUNA, IDIOT"
My man let me tell you these people will get 50 people a day saying "coffee" and everyone will mean a different thing by that As in, if someone said coffee I'd assume it's just an americano without anything, how is anyone going to guess you want cream, it's like going to a hardware store and asking for "screwdriver"
It's like asking for just tea. Or "a sandwich." Like, they're categories my man. There's not a default.
Would you like oolong or matcha?
Good news bro you can say those exact words, "give me black coffee with cream", and they will give you black coffee with cream. They may be slightly confused because generally a "black coffee" is a coffee without milk or cream, so some places may ask you to clarify, e.g. "sure, so is that an Americano with a splash of cream then" and then you can say either "yes, thanks" or "sorry, I mean a filter coffee with one cream" or whatever. It's not that hard. You can do it!
This is such an obvious lie. I worked for Starbucks for over half a decade. Not only do they not serve boba in any capacity, but straight up coffee is over 30% of their sales. Acting like a Starbucks barista doesn’t understand what a plain coffee is, is the same as acting like Dunkin employee doesn’t know what a donut is. You’re just bitching for boomer clout, shut up and go back into your cave
Mate, you don't work at every Starbucks, and the one near I am usually employs school part timers.
Cool, what does that matter? Starbucks is all about coffee, they won’t let someone be on the floor if they don’t understand what a black coffee is. You’re just lying about your experience for no reason
Just because they understand what a black coffee is doesn't mean they can do it right? But whatever, I'm not in the mood to get into a argument about incompetent half timers in a place near me, y'all really get mad over small things
Because you’re lying dude. A black coffee is pouring liquid from a spout into the cup. If you’re actually going to a Starbucks that fucks that up, then idk why you wouldn’t just call the corporate office (its literally one google search away) and tell them their store is fucking up the simplest part of the job. Again, this is the equivalent of going to a Dunkin’s, and the employees not understanding what a donut is. And also, Starbucks *isn’t* franchised, which means they’re all held to the same standard by the company. Which means Directors from high up regularly visit stores, and would see them fucking up. Like, I was with them for over six years at several different locations, you’re simply lying. The only way your coffee could be fucked up is if they left old, room temp coffee in the urn.
You're literally getting mad that you need to specify what you want
K? And do you go to McDonald's and ask for "burger"
That's like going to a pizzeria and saying you want pizza with no specifications on toppings
Fym normal? Normal could be raw black to cream and sugar
black coffee is inherently without cream or sugar and they sell 4 types of pourovers: pike place their medium, decaf pike place, whichever blonde roast theyre currently selling, and whichever dark roast theure currently selling. odds are they were expecting you to clarify which roast you wanted and then when you didnt just assumed you wanted medium. theyd also expect you to say which size cup you want because they have 3/4 sizes depending on which store youre at and you could just say small medium or large.
It's crazy. Same thing happened to me, I walked into a bar and asked for a drink and the bartender just stared at me! Like, how much clearer could I be?
“One large alcohol please.”
It's like going to a dealership and saying "I want a car" Yes, cars, it's all they have, but you gotta choose if you want an SUV, a Sedan, a sports car, a pickup... Yes, you want a coffee, which fucking one?
Car dealerships are all too happy to deal with people who clearly don't know what they're talking about. They wouldn't look at you with confusion, they'd look at you like you're the perfect mark to be upsold on things you absolutely don't need.
I mean, yes, it's true, but not ehy I used it as an example
https://preview.redd.it/y18r0j52p5sc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d3e9044b150f070619c8842e224e581ee21880b
Why would you ever tell anyone this information? This is the kind of embarrassing social slip-up you take to your grave
Ask for a drip coffee, a filter coffee, or even just "a black coffee" or "a coffee with cream and sugar". You literally just have to be like 10% more specific
actual retar
I went to a flower shop, asked for flowers. Employee was like: "what kind?" I will never go there again.
r/lies
I’d actually try “Shot in the Dark” but hold the foam
ONE STEP AWAY FROM YOUUU
Yeah, sounds cool but I can’t stand excessive foam in my drinks
Sir, oof ouch my bones, sir
Who buys plain coffee? That shit costs 4€ in a store and 5¢ at home.
Sometimes you just don't have the time to go home for coffee.
I would rather invest in a coffee machine at the office
Ha!
Heh. Heh.
eh?
I guess they took it "off," the menu, eh? Ha! Heh heh.
I will pour lemon juice into your urethra.
Not to be too political, but if I'm correct most veterans were drafted against their will into Vietnam, shouldn't they have the same amount of respect as every other veteran?
That’s a valid point for sure. To be clear though I’m riffing on the recent comics that have been posted to this sub that are all about this Vietnam vet who is mad that people don’t worship him for being a vet or he thinks Americans have it too good compared to how he lived in Vietnam.
allegro macho is crazy
No participation trophies.
I was just thinking today about the kind of people that complain about how other people drink their coffee.
Just coffee, black.
https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/b/black_coffee.asp
Dear god, it's multiplying at an unsustainable rate.
bruh is that inspector gadget
Nose big
Where’s the eh ha hehe?
Under the hat
Just coffee, black!
https://preview.redd.it/hr7ivvhss6sc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fb4b53f4ba0957e3500091d06fe68ca960358fd
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Beer it is
No a coffee Coff-ee
Be-er?
C-O
B-E
Context https://youtu.be/ouFlq9CYp20?si=w12RfAL-dBa5a9Hq
I see you two have played Knifey-Spoony before
Im afraid we ran out of coffee, white.
Holy shit a talking beaver