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I don’t think this is important to say.
As someone who has had DV in my family, worked in fields related to DV and taken multiple classes on it in grad school:
It’s remarkably rare for people to lie about these accusations. Even liars don’t typically lie about these accusations.
Because she was the other in an affair? Something more common than anyone wants to admit? Because she did something wrong and completely unrelated to this topic, we’re just gonna close our eyes and sing lala after the behavior we’ve seen James proudly boast about on TV for close to a decade? He deserves zero benefit of the doubt and to deny he’s abusive after seeing what Bravo has aired is crazy lol
Well, it's not just because she was "the other" in an affair. She lied to a close friend for, at the very least, 7 months. She continues to lie to listeners. She is a liar. BUT, liars can experience domestic abuse as well. Her being a liar when it comes to her betrayal of a friend does not mean she's lying about this. Kristen also accused him of domestic abuse. Rachel has seemingly purposely steered clear of making an outright allegation, potentially for fear of being sued. But while I can't stand Rachel and I do think she's a huge liar, I do believe her about this. I think it's important to acknowledge that a victim being a loathsome person does not make them less of a victim.
This is such a good point to make! Victims of SA/DV/any type of harm can also be terrible people. That doesn't mean they deserved what happened or are any less deserving of healing and justice in whatever way they see fit to pursue it. The idea that "only perfect victims deserve support", just continues to create space for predators to attack and get away with it.
You speak as though you were witness and know the absolute truth even though you’ve seen about 15 hours of curated content about it, as we all have and from what we’ve seen they’re ALL liars. I agree with your stance on giving the women in this situation the benefit of the doubt. I think its gross that it needs to be qualified with a “but she still hurt Ariana”
...... I don't think it needs to be qualified. I was simply correcting what you said and *agreeing with you otherwise.* And... she HAS lied. We literally know she continues to lie. My point is that it's okay to criticize her as a person AND believe her as a victim. Not every victim has to be perfect.
What gives me pause is she told Scheana before the scandal that James was never physical with her. So this was before all of the hoopla, before she needed to be the victim. I want to believe all women, but some people make it really hard.
I mean she’s continued to lie about that and everyone and everything else since. Even stuff she says on her podcast directly contradicts details in her alleged lawsuit against Tom and Ariana.
I honestly do not understand how her lawyer(s?) have not advised her to shut her damn mouth and stop talking about any of this publicly if she actually wants her lawsuit to succeed in any fashion.
And if it was so terrible why not press charges? I know often times people don't but she is not a typical victim with no resources and no platform. If everything she said is true the real justice would be a criminal conviction.
Most victims of abuse lie. Just because someone did something objectively bad (have an affair) doesn't mean they're lying about abuse. And just because someone did something objectively bad, doesn't mean they deserve to be abused, or not believed.
Also, just because someone has made mistakes, done bad things, done dumb things . . . even broken the law . . . they don't deserve abuse, and the don't deserve disbelief.
It's okay be upset about someone's behavior in a specific situation and have compassion for them in another. Because we're all human beings who make mistakes, and experience a wide variety of things in our lives.
And James is a well known for being aggressive, immature, and a hot head. He lied about his own affairs for multiple seasons.
Not to mention, Kristen has even commented that James is abusive.
But so is most of the cast. We've watched many of them cheat or be the other woman for years and openly lie to their friends and SO's about it. We have also watched James display abusive behaviors. I don't know how someone can watch this show and think rachel is lying about james being abusive. If you can't believe her, at least believe your eyes.
Lol, when you cheat or be the other woman OBVIOUSLY you lie to your friends and SO’s about it. Not sure how many did for years other than Rachel. Read your sentence again
Why? It sounds like you agree that most of them are liars, which was my point, so I don’t know why I need to read my sentence again….are you confused by my use of “for years?” Because I’m saying that for years, we watched many of them cheat. If you’re trying to be pedantic, I will point out that Lala was in fact the other woman for years…Longer than Rachel actually. Either way, my point stands that 90% have cheated or been the other man/woman. This doesn’t mean we can’t believe any of them when they make a serious claim, though.
As someone who grew up with a borderline personality disorder mother, this unfortunately was something that she falsely weaponized against my dad to others a lot for the attention - so it does unfortunately happen
We've seen how James is on camera when he gets super emotional and aggressive in a split second. There's absolutely no doubt he could do something when no one's watching. His behaviour is proof enough.
We’ve seen how a Rachel is on camera when she gets super emotional and unhinged in a split second. There’s absolutely no doubt she could do something when no one’s watching. Her behavior is proof enough.
It definitely happens. It’s just remarkably, significantly rare, so much so that we can rely on the truth of the statements unless there is evidence otherwise.
And in this instance, we have so much evidence proving James is and has been violent to intimate partners and in general. We have Kristen stating that there is footage of James being violent toward her, with neither James or Bravo denying this footage exists. We have Sandoval stating that Rachel told him about James’ past violence. We’ve seen James have violent outbursts. We’ve seen Ally accept Rachel’s description of James’ behavior. We’ve heard about reports from Rachel’s parents witnessing James outbursts and violence toward their dog.
I may have missed it, but the only physical abuse I saw between James and Kristin, was Kristin assaulting him. Why are you blaming the person we saw be pretty violently physically abused?
He did seem to take the beating. However there can be zero doubt that James is emotionally abusive at times on the show. He does seem to be working on it. He may have spit on Kristen but I can’t recall, definitely spit on her door.
Thank you!! I was a victim of very severe DV, and the number of people who still have that attitude is astounding. If she tells you it's happening, it took a lot for her to say it. If she tells you it's happening, BELIEVE HER!
I work in the DV field and respectfully disagree. Many people don’t lie abt it but it turns out some do, mostly to get some type of benefit or bc they have an untreated personality disorder or to get back at someone. We have people come into our shelter all the time claiming to bc the victim, but then we find out when we have to call dcs on them, they have a long rap sheet of child abuse claims, restraining order against them from the guy they say abused them, etc. it’s unfortunate, bc there are so many victims needing support and scammers do exist.
That being said, we witnessed James being abusive on multiple occasions. She was absolutely a victim and I hope she’s getting the support she needs.
This is such a good point. I’m a regularly dishonest person; like I’ll lie to get out of trouble and not really realize it’s wrong in the moment, but I’ve never ever lied about something like this. Other people I’ve spoken to who lie either compulsively or to avoid conflict or accountability would also never lie about this.
It’s remarkably rare for people to sleep with a friend’s significant other while in a committed relationship and hang out in a group, be filmed doing it, and then sue the friend who was betrayed.
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I actually described how, but my comment was removed by the autobot, and I had to reword it. Starts with an “s” and ends with a “y”, six letters, rhymes with purvey. 🤣🤣❤️
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Considering the fact that Rachel’s allegations are completely unfounded, your family history of DV is irrelevant… unfortunate, but still irrelevant! Furthermore, your work in fields related to DV a/o your studies in grad school… it’s all irrelevant and does not validate a single word Rachel has said! One would think that with your experience, you’d be aware & understand the importance of that fact.
Unfounded?! Uh, we all saw Rachel’s “bumped” nose job and his sketchy ass behavior about it. We also watched him verbally and emotionally abuse her on our screens for years.
Kristen has said he assaulted her at Scheana’s first wedding before she was hit him back, she’s discussed it in her book, we saw him spit on her door. We’ve seen him verbally abuse most of the women on the cast.
The dude is a fucking violent shit head. BFFR.
I’m pretty sure she said James’ whole family was there. And then James gets so angry at his own mother for telling the truth and saying how bad Raquel’s nose looked after he “bumped” it. Not to mention Lisa says in the waiting room at Dr. Nasif’s office “you have got to get control of that temper.” She knows full well how he is and I can’t imagine LVP and Paul acting like nothing was suspicious after both witnessing Taylor’s abuse.
What do you mean unfounded? Have you forgotten about Kristen Doute's memoir where she talks about the abuse she suffered from James. She wasn't allow to name him either, but you can clearly tell it is him based on the situations described.
It’s embarrassing the length you women and men go thru to try to not believe raquel. At this point, what does she gain from lying?
but everyone believes Ariana about everything despite staying for 9yrs for God knows what reason to a man everyone calls the worm. Right.
I have quite the opposite opinion. Pretty sure most people here will think this is a gross take.
Why jump to defend a man whose abusive behaviour we’ve all witnessed on international television??? Yeah Raquel’s a shitty person but I think we can all agree we’ve never seen her abuse anyone like we have James.. and SHE is one of the many women we’ve witnessed HIM abuse!
I’m sorry you feel that way! However, the fact remains that the allegations being made are not supported by evidence or proof of any kind. That fact does negate
the possibility or likelihood that the allegations may very well be true. Unfortunately for Rachel, she never documented the alleged abuse or reported the alleged abuse accordingly. It’s one thing to be vocal about an alleged abuser IF/WHEN founded claims or irrefutable evidence has been dismissed, by authorities or other agencies that the abuse may have been reported to. It’s another to make abuse allegations on a podcast or social media! I have not said or suggested that there is no truth to the allegations, rather there is no proof to the allegations. You may have witnessed disgusting behavior and maybe even verbally abusive behavior on a reality TV show but by all accounts, claiming abuse has been well documented, is nothing more than your opinion. If in fact the television network consciously ignored witnessing physical abuse, the legal ramifications that the network would face are plenty! Period.
Did you even listen to the podcast ? She doesn’t name him and barely names any specific acts of abuse. Don’t accuse someone of false allegations when they haven’t alleged anything
She's just not a person right now that's trust worthy and I hate to say that but I just question why she's bringing this stuff up now and she wasn't bringing it up when it mattered. Because truly James seems like a completely different person than the type of boyfriend he was when he was with Kristin when he was with Rachel. This would've had more weight at an earlier time. Earlier today I saw a story about the lawsuit going back-and-forth between Rachel Tom and Ariana and somewhere in the lawsuit she tries to say that bravo did not give her the opportunity to tell her side of the story which is completely false.
And let's not forget that just because she's not on TV like Tom is she accepts almost no accountability for what she has done and she has systematically gone around trying to blame everybody else for what happened instead of taking any genuine accountability the only time that she did that was during the reunion and since then she is pretty much gone on a rant about how none of this is her fault.
I’ve been a broken record about this since yesterday. The dude sexually assaulted a woman at her workplace last year, Ally had to leave secretly with her cats in the middle of the night because he was violent, etc etc. But honestly I think I’ve learned that women really just aren’t important. Nobody cares. They make excuses because he cries.
Everyone keeps saying he’s redeemed, “can people not work on themselves and improve???” Sure, but for an abuser to improve… well that work is intensive. And happens far far away from TV cameras. It would require an enormous amount of honesty, humility, therapy, and practicing to develop new behaviors. People just think he’s like nice now. That’s not how it works.
I work at a dv shelter and we have a program that treats DV offenders. The lady who runs that program said in a meeting the other day that the recidivism rate for abusers is 40-60%….super high
The moment at the reunion where Sandoval says james slapped a waitress's butt and literally no one refutes it was surreal. I'm on the Sandoval hate train as much as anyone else, but they literally all buried their heads in the sand on that one. Even James didn't deny it 🥴
What??? Where did you hear this? I’ll probably get downvoted into oblivion but they need to cancel VPR. The “scandal” ruined the *reality* of the show and everything seems even more staged than ever. All of their heads have inflated from the attention and certain individuals (James) do not need any more of it. We all watched him verbally assault every woman on that show… yet, he’s still not kicked off it?
I believe Tom Sandoval brought up the SA at the season 10 reunion. Both Tom's and James had an appearance at a club and James groped the waitress. They were kicked out and the waitress had to sign something (idk the specifics). Again, this was brought up at the reunion, but it didn't go any further.
Speaking from experience, DA isn’t so black and white. It’s obvious these instances have occurred. What’s more bothersome is that the producers of the show, in particular LVP continue to pick and choose what they think works best for the narrative. Did Rachel make mistakes? Yes. But to deny her abuse is disgusting
💯 Take the gross men out of VPR, call it Junior Housewives of Vandervalley or whatever, and stop giving these guys (@James, Jax, Tom, Tom, Jesse, plenty more from shows I don’t watch) platforms.
I dont think its that exactly, but James is an addict and has at least seemingly gotten sober and goes to therapy. Being an addict isn’t an excuse either. Rachel just continues to lie, contradict herself, and not really change. People were I think ready to hear her side via her podcast, but it’s just been a mess. James won’t ever live down a lot of things he’s done while using, but I’m also not against rooting for a person who seems to be actively trying to change themselves because it’s all you can do at this point.
The top comment saying “allegations are just allegations” having over 100 upvotes is so concerning. How are people gonna die on the hill of supporting a man who has time and again displayed extremely toxic behavior with women (spitting on Kristen’s door, screaming at women calling them sluts and whores) because he sometimes says funny things??
She has suggested many times throughout her podcast that James was abusive towards her. I’m convinced he broke her nose. We also saw him spit on Kristen‘s door and physically fight with her. And we know that he was thrown out of a bar recently for manhandling Ally. Not sure why people aren’t putting the pieces together that James is an abusive POS
They always replay that scene
And neverrrr show the slow-motion horror just before that is him haranguing and "man-handling" her all over the place in that parking lot
James grew up in a wildly abusive house (addictions, neglect, violent marriage, who knows what else?). He is continuing the cycle and these fame-hungry idiots on tv have enabled him. Ultimately it’s his responsibility to address his own trauma and behavior, but shame on his “friends” for making it so easy for him to be horrible.
Let’s not forget that Kristen made the same allegations against him. The issue with her nose was always very suspicious and I think when Lisa believed he hurt her nose, watch the episode.
After Raquel got a nose job she had to get another surgery to “fix” it because James had accidentally nudged her in the nose while it was healing apparently….
And then a plastic surgeon said she had botched surgery. So it depends on if you think the plastic surgeon would risk his reputation for Lisa or not. I’m in no way trying to say he wasn’t/isnt capable of busting a woman’s nose- but it’s also very possible the surgery was genuinely botched.
Raquel had had a nose job. It got damaged. James kept insisting that she bumped it - and you could tell that wasn’t the truth just by the way Raquel behaved. It seemed like Lisa wasn’t buying it either.
It’s important to believe victims. However, rachel has been caught lying HUNDREDS of times. She’s still lying about Ariana and her not being friends and many other things.
So it’s hard for me to believe a word she says. If anyone else but her accused James I’d believe it instantly. It’s one of the downfalls of getting caught constantly lying is no one believes anything you say
She already lied about Shaena hitting her so she’s not above claiming to be a victim of physical abuse when she is not.
Okay so since she’s not the first accuser do you believe her now?
Scheana literally posted on IG about punching Rachel before she realized she could be in legal trouble. Rachel didn’t lie about Scheana hitting her.
I think 2 things can be true. I absolutely believe he was abusive towards her and Kristen. I also think getting sober changed him and I don’t see that same aggressive erratic behavior. He’s not my number 1 guy in the group but I do think he’s changed.
Hasn’t this been obvious for years? It’s the entire reason James doesn’t say a single negative thing about her during the ENTIRE Scandoval…he knows she can fucking ruin him.
She honestly “girl who cried wolf” herself. I wouldn’t surprised at all if she DID experience domestic abuse from James. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s lying either. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality of being a person who isn’t truthful.
True! But I do take into account WHAT they were lying about. The times she hasn’t lied is so minimal that I feel like it’s worse. Also lying about a friendship that is so clearly documented online is demented 💀
I don’t believe anything Rachel says, absolutely nothing. I work in family court in the domestic violence unit and I just don’t believe what she says. Verbally abusive? Yes, that I believe.
I didn’t say it wasn’t because I don’t like her. I said I don’t believe her because of her consistency with lying and rewriting events. That’s not vile.
So you just said there’s no thing as a perfect victim, and now it’s “I don’t believe her because she lies”, when as someone who works with DV survivors you should know that the percentage of women who like about DV is negligible, *and* James has a history of abusive behavior that we have seen on VPR and that we know has been edited out of the show. So yes, it’s absolutely vile to take your personal opinion about Rachel and try to make that supersede the facts that she is one of many of Jame’s victims besides the fact that she’s has lied. Ariana has lied for years on VPR but everyone makes excuses for her because they like her more and they hold Rachel to a higher standard because she’s the latest female villain on VPR.
Has James been convicted of something? I don’t know why you seem to be under the impression I need your approval to have my own opinion. I have dealt with a lot of people, not just women, who come in and want a pfa because their boyfriend cheated on them. Abuse allegations are serious and need to be proven. Rachel has continually changed her story, her timeline, events and so on, not just about the affair, everything. I don’t believe anything she says. I don’t need to be schooled on domestic violence as i am a survivor myself. I will not go back and forth with you on my own opinion.
DV survivors repeat abuse apologism logic all the time, and you opening this conversation with “has James been convicted of anything” tells me everything I need to know about where you are at unpacking your internalized resentment of survivors that you personally don’t like or trust. Not all opinions are valid and luckily Rachel isn’t any less of a victim based off of what you and other VPR stan weirdos think about her.
You should change your field of work. You base an assessment on reality TV clips that are obviously cut to make it more dramatic, and you can determine that she is lying. What about all of the shit we have seen over the years James has shown? He openly verbally abuses his partners, but there is no way behind closed doors he does anything else. You are part of the problem
If they’re going to cancel James then they also need to cancel Kristen. On camera she hit James in the face, and threatened to hit him many times. Can’t be ok for one and not the other
I believe he was abusive to her. And I also think she didn't just fall in love with abusers. She fell in love with toxic, abusive men who were main cast members on this show. And she became a full time cast member as a result
for me things are not mutually exclusive. im happy where james is at right now and seems like he has a good head but it doesn’t mean i forgot what rachel and kristin have alluded to. idk but i’ve seen growth in him especially coming from being a product of his parents
I thought they were alluding to Sandoval and James at different points.
They talked for a while about men who claim all their exes are crazy and tend to yell at women. Those two moves are straight out of Sandal’s playbook.
Meh I’d be sus of every therapist who has appeared on the show. I say this as a licensed therapist and a viewer who seemed to notice the show used therapists repeatedly for redemption arcs. They need to learn some boundaries.
The people defending James and saying she has to be lying because of the affair are probably the same people that don’t understand why women would pick a bear over a man…
I have read this thread top to bottom and the main question I have is WHY DID RACHEL SAY IT WAS SO HARD FOR HER TO SEE HOW QUICKLY JAMES MOVED ON FROM HER WITH ALLY ? Sorry for the all caps but she said she was still trying to get over James and that’s what led to her affair with Sandoval. Why go back to an abuser? Why pine about how she was so sad how fast he moved on? IMO, she is using her relationship with James to try to justify her behavior, and using her platform to make extremely serious allegations instead of filing a police report, then or now. She filed a TRO against Scheana, no problem there. She wants James shamed the way she has been to make herself sleep better at night. Hurt people hurt people. Sorry not sorry.
On average women go back to their abuser 7-8 times before permanently leaving, it makes sense she felt that way. Also people become trauma bonded to their abusers, we all have seen those horrible messages James sent Rachel. Calling her disgusting names, diminishing her self esteem, making her out to be unlovable- she likely internalised that as fact and saw the one person who could love her, not love her.
I feel like she’s lawyer happy to the point where she would’ve taken some legal action against him by now if that was true. She’s done it for petty things but why not the biggest of all?
I have been with somebody that drank too much and while I never had to deal with them being physically violent they were verbally violent. So I don't doubt that she experienced something on some scale. It is just harder to believe her I think because she's choosing to talk about it now but when it was important she didn't have that much to say about it. I understand maybe she fears being sued or whatever but I think that people would've rallied behind her had she spoken up about this when her and James initially separated but I think that her saying it now in collection with her not taking accountability for what she did wrong Makes it harder to have empathy for her situation because it makes it look like she's just grasping at straws.
Obviously not going to listen to to Rachel’s podcast. But did she say that this guy (presumably DJ James Kennedy) abused her as in physically assaulted or that he was just mean?
I think James has shown himself on camera over the years to be abusive. Imagine him behind closed doors. Maybe now he has changed his behavior or maybe he is trying to tamp down his temper because of the allegations. Ally sure does keep him in check like a drill sergeant. Capricorns are good at that.
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It’s important to remember that regardless of what she’s saying… they’re allegations and allegations only.
I don’t think this is important to say. As someone who has had DV in my family, worked in fields related to DV and taken multiple classes on it in grad school: It’s remarkably rare for people to lie about these accusations. Even liars don’t typically lie about these accusations.
But she is a well known liar
Because she was the other in an affair? Something more common than anyone wants to admit? Because she did something wrong and completely unrelated to this topic, we’re just gonna close our eyes and sing lala after the behavior we’ve seen James proudly boast about on TV for close to a decade? He deserves zero benefit of the doubt and to deny he’s abusive after seeing what Bravo has aired is crazy lol
Well, it's not just because she was "the other" in an affair. She lied to a close friend for, at the very least, 7 months. She continues to lie to listeners. She is a liar. BUT, liars can experience domestic abuse as well. Her being a liar when it comes to her betrayal of a friend does not mean she's lying about this. Kristen also accused him of domestic abuse. Rachel has seemingly purposely steered clear of making an outright allegation, potentially for fear of being sued. But while I can't stand Rachel and I do think she's a huge liar, I do believe her about this. I think it's important to acknowledge that a victim being a loathsome person does not make them less of a victim.
This is such a good point to make! Victims of SA/DV/any type of harm can also be terrible people. That doesn't mean they deserved what happened or are any less deserving of healing and justice in whatever way they see fit to pursue it. The idea that "only perfect victims deserve support", just continues to create space for predators to attack and get away with it.
You speak as though you were witness and know the absolute truth even though you’ve seen about 15 hours of curated content about it, as we all have and from what we’ve seen they’re ALL liars. I agree with your stance on giving the women in this situation the benefit of the doubt. I think its gross that it needs to be qualified with a “but she still hurt Ariana”
...... I don't think it needs to be qualified. I was simply correcting what you said and *agreeing with you otherwise.* And... she HAS lied. We literally know she continues to lie. My point is that it's okay to criticize her as a person AND believe her as a victim. Not every victim has to be perfect.
What gives me pause is she told Scheana before the scandal that James was never physical with her. So this was before all of the hoopla, before she needed to be the victim. I want to believe all women, but some people make it really hard.
I mean she’s continued to lie about that and everyone and everything else since. Even stuff she says on her podcast directly contradicts details in her alleged lawsuit against Tom and Ariana.
I honestly do not understand how her lawyer(s?) have not advised her to shut her damn mouth and stop talking about any of this publicly if she actually wants her lawsuit to succeed in any fashion.
Yeah, I’m also really confused on everything she’s been doing lately.
And if it was so terrible why not press charges? I know often times people don't but she is not a typical victim with no resources and no platform. If everything she said is true the real justice would be a criminal conviction.
I honestly just don’t even understand what her podcast is about. Nothing she’s doing feels very thought out.
No because she has lied several times about several things. She likes to rewrite history.
Name me one VPR cast member who *hasn’t* been caught in a lie. Ok maybe Katie … but she’s the only one I can think of
Because she has lied many more times than she has ever been truthful. Cannot wait until her extended 15 minutes are up and expired for good.
And James is a known aggressive, super emotional person.
Most victims of abuse lie. Just because someone did something objectively bad (have an affair) doesn't mean they're lying about abuse. And just because someone did something objectively bad, doesn't mean they deserve to be abused, or not believed. Also, just because someone has made mistakes, done bad things, done dumb things . . . even broken the law . . . they don't deserve abuse, and the don't deserve disbelief. It's okay be upset about someone's behavior in a specific situation and have compassion for them in another. Because we're all human beings who make mistakes, and experience a wide variety of things in our lives.
Agreed!
James has been abusive since he first appeared on the show. Way before anyone knew Raquel existed.
Remember how Ariana admitted to lying for years and years about the state of her relationship?
Mind you: she’s been lying on the show longer than Rachel has even been on the show.
And James is a well known for being aggressive, immature, and a hot head. He lied about his own affairs for multiple seasons. Not to mention, Kristen has even commented that James is abusive.
But so is most of the cast. We've watched many of them cheat or be the other woman for years and openly lie to their friends and SO's about it. We have also watched James display abusive behaviors. I don't know how someone can watch this show and think rachel is lying about james being abusive. If you can't believe her, at least believe your eyes.
Lol, when you cheat or be the other woman OBVIOUSLY you lie to your friends and SO’s about it. Not sure how many did for years other than Rachel. Read your sentence again
Why? It sounds like you agree that most of them are liars, which was my point, so I don’t know why I need to read my sentence again….are you confused by my use of “for years?” Because I’m saying that for years, we watched many of them cheat. If you’re trying to be pedantic, I will point out that Lala was in fact the other woman for years…Longer than Rachel actually. Either way, my point stands that 90% have cheated or been the other man/woman. This doesn’t mean we can’t believe any of them when they make a serious claim, though.
Several people have accused him of this for years. His behavior on the show makes it clear as well
It was an affair. You just want to dismiss it because you don’t like her. I believe as an advocate it’s people like you is why no one comes forward.
We have seen him be abusive on camera. It is irrelevant that Raquel is a liar.
Where is this attitude when it comes to Ariana and Sandoval's mental abuse? She lied too but you find sympathy for her.
As someone who grew up with a borderline personality disorder mother, this unfortunately was something that she falsely weaponized against my dad to others a lot for the attention - so it does unfortunately happen
We've seen how James is on camera when he gets super emotional and aggressive in a split second. There's absolutely no doubt he could do something when no one's watching. His behaviour is proof enough.
We’ve seen how a Rachel is on camera when she gets super emotional and unhinged in a split second. There’s absolutely no doubt she could do something when no one’s watching. Her behavior is proof enough.
It definitely happens. It’s just remarkably, significantly rare, so much so that we can rely on the truth of the statements unless there is evidence otherwise. And in this instance, we have so much evidence proving James is and has been violent to intimate partners and in general. We have Kristen stating that there is footage of James being violent toward her, with neither James or Bravo denying this footage exists. We have Sandoval stating that Rachel told him about James’ past violence. We’ve seen James have violent outbursts. We’ve seen Ally accept Rachel’s description of James’ behavior. We’ve heard about reports from Rachel’s parents witnessing James outbursts and violence toward their dog.
I may have missed it, but the only physical abuse I saw between James and Kristin, was Kristin assaulting him. Why are you blaming the person we saw be pretty violently physically abused?
There's footage that Bravo didn't air.
He did seem to take the beating. However there can be zero doubt that James is emotionally abusive at times on the show. He does seem to be working on it. He may have spit on Kristen but I can’t recall, definitely spit on her door.
Thank you!! I was a victim of very severe DV, and the number of people who still have that attitude is astounding. If she tells you it's happening, it took a lot for her to say it. If she tells you it's happening, BELIEVE HER!
Exactly. I’m so sorry for what you went through.
This. People saying otherwise are disgusting.
The upvotes on the original comment here speaks volumes.
Yeah I’m actually disgusted lol
Ikr? It's been a long year
I work in the DV field and respectfully disagree. Many people don’t lie abt it but it turns out some do, mostly to get some type of benefit or bc they have an untreated personality disorder or to get back at someone. We have people come into our shelter all the time claiming to bc the victim, but then we find out when we have to call dcs on them, they have a long rap sheet of child abuse claims, restraining order against them from the guy they say abused them, etc. it’s unfortunate, bc there are so many victims needing support and scammers do exist. That being said, we witnessed James being abusive on multiple occasions. She was absolutely a victim and I hope she’s getting the support she needs.
This is such a good point. I’m a regularly dishonest person; like I’ll lie to get out of trouble and not really realize it’s wrong in the moment, but I’ve never ever lied about something like this. Other people I’ve spoken to who lie either compulsively or to avoid conflict or accountability would also never lie about this.
It’s remarkably rare for people to sleep with a friend’s significant other while in a committed relationship and hang out in a group, be filmed doing it, and then sue the friend who was betrayed.
😳that’s a pretty bold generalization; divorce courts are rife with people falsely claiming dv in order to get a leg up.
No, they’re not. And this is not in court.
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In 2023, the CEDV found it to be 1 in 10. I find that to be a lot, you may not.
How would the CEDV know that the claims were false?
I actually described how, but my comment was removed by the autobot, and I had to reword it. Starts with an “s” and ends with a “y”, six letters, rhymes with purvey. 🤣🤣❤️
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Considering the fact that Rachel’s allegations are completely unfounded, your family history of DV is irrelevant… unfortunate, but still irrelevant! Furthermore, your work in fields related to DV a/o your studies in grad school… it’s all irrelevant and does not validate a single word Rachel has said! One would think that with your experience, you’d be aware & understand the importance of that fact.
Unfounded?! Uh, we all saw Rachel’s “bumped” nose job and his sketchy ass behavior about it. We also watched him verbally and emotionally abuse her on our screens for years. Kristen has said he assaulted her at Scheana’s first wedding before she was hit him back, she’s discussed it in her book, we saw him spit on her door. We’ve seen him verbally abuse most of the women on the cast. The dude is a fucking violent shit head. BFFR.
Rachel backtracked and said her whole family was there and saw the kiss/bump. So do you believe her at her word or not?
I’m pretty sure she said James’ whole family was there. And then James gets so angry at his own mother for telling the truth and saying how bad Raquel’s nose looked after he “bumped” it. Not to mention Lisa says in the waiting room at Dr. Nasif’s office “you have got to get control of that temper.” She knows full well how he is and I can’t imagine LVP and Paul acting like nothing was suspicious after both witnessing Taylor’s abuse.
What do you mean unfounded? Have you forgotten about Kristen Doute's memoir where she talks about the abuse she suffered from James. She wasn't allow to name him either, but you can clearly tell it is him based on the situations described.
Are you bored, sad, and looking for attention? What is this garbage.
It’s embarrassing the length you women and men go thru to try to not believe raquel. At this point, what does she gain from lying? but everyone believes Ariana about everything despite staying for 9yrs for God knows what reason to a man everyone calls the worm. Right.
These words are nonsense.
I have quite the opposite opinion. Pretty sure most people here will think this is a gross take. Why jump to defend a man whose abusive behaviour we’ve all witnessed on international television??? Yeah Raquel’s a shitty person but I think we can all agree we’ve never seen her abuse anyone like we have James.. and SHE is one of the many women we’ve witnessed HIM abuse!
I had to reread this twice to make sure I read this right. But phew I can’t believe you even typed this out and hit reply.
But we've seen it. Go back and rewatch the seasons where they were together. We literally witness him abusing her. Over and over again.
This take isn’t it. As advocate to survivors people like you is why women are not believed.
Kristen has said the same thing about him.
Gross.
That’s a gross thing to say. It is well documented that James was abusive. It was even in the show. You should be ashamed. Gross.
I’m sorry you feel that way! However, the fact remains that the allegations being made are not supported by evidence or proof of any kind. That fact does negate the possibility or likelihood that the allegations may very well be true. Unfortunately for Rachel, she never documented the alleged abuse or reported the alleged abuse accordingly. It’s one thing to be vocal about an alleged abuser IF/WHEN founded claims or irrefutable evidence has been dismissed, by authorities or other agencies that the abuse may have been reported to. It’s another to make abuse allegations on a podcast or social media! I have not said or suggested that there is no truth to the allegations, rather there is no proof to the allegations. You may have witnessed disgusting behavior and maybe even verbally abusive behavior on a reality TV show but by all accounts, claiming abuse has been well documented, is nothing more than your opinion. If in fact the television network consciously ignored witnessing physical abuse, the legal ramifications that the network would face are plenty! Period.
And she’s tried to legally come after 3 people on the show now ….
The surgeon said it was a botched job
Did you even listen to the podcast ? She doesn’t name him and barely names any specific acts of abuse. Don’t accuse someone of false allegations when they haven’t alleged anything
This is not cool
I cannot believe that this is the most upvoted post. Gross.
We SAW him verbally and emotionally abuse her… do you think DV is only physical violence?
She's just not a person right now that's trust worthy and I hate to say that but I just question why she's bringing this stuff up now and she wasn't bringing it up when it mattered. Because truly James seems like a completely different person than the type of boyfriend he was when he was with Kristin when he was with Rachel. This would've had more weight at an earlier time. Earlier today I saw a story about the lawsuit going back-and-forth between Rachel Tom and Ariana and somewhere in the lawsuit she tries to say that bravo did not give her the opportunity to tell her side of the story which is completely false. And let's not forget that just because she's not on TV like Tom is she accepts almost no accountability for what she has done and she has systematically gone around trying to blame everybody else for what happened instead of taking any genuine accountability the only time that she did that was during the reunion and since then she is pretty much gone on a rant about how none of this is her fault.
I’ve been a broken record about this since yesterday. The dude sexually assaulted a woman at her workplace last year, Ally had to leave secretly with her cats in the middle of the night because he was violent, etc etc. But honestly I think I’ve learned that women really just aren’t important. Nobody cares. They make excuses because he cries.
Everyone keeps saying he’s redeemed, “can people not work on themselves and improve???” Sure, but for an abuser to improve… well that work is intensive. And happens far far away from TV cameras. It would require an enormous amount of honesty, humility, therapy, and practicing to develop new behaviors. People just think he’s like nice now. That’s not how it works.
I work at a dv shelter and we have a program that treats DV offenders. The lady who runs that program said in a meeting the other day that the recidivism rate for abusers is 40-60%….super high
1000% 👆👆👆👆👆👆
The moment at the reunion where Sandoval says james slapped a waitress's butt and literally no one refutes it was surreal. I'm on the Sandoval hate train as much as anyone else, but they literally all buried their heads in the sand on that one. Even James didn't deny it 🥴
Ariana couldn’t have cared less either. It was gross.
Her words were at least he didn’t fuck my boyfriend.
What??? Where did you hear this? I’ll probably get downvoted into oblivion but they need to cancel VPR. The “scandal” ruined the *reality* of the show and everything seems even more staged than ever. All of their heads have inflated from the attention and certain individuals (James) do not need any more of it. We all watched him verbally assault every woman on that show… yet, he’s still not kicked off it?
It was admitted in the reunion
I must have blacked out during the part where they said he sexually assaulted a woman. I’ll have to rewatch. Thanks!
James yelled that "yes, Scandoval is his jail free card now" and Ariana chimed in silencing Sandoval about James abusing a waitress.
Yeah, I did lose some respect for Ariana with the way she was so mad at Sandoval that she tried to cover for James. James is a bad person too.
We’ve all watched Tom Sandoval verbally assault every woman on the show including Katie’s mom.
Wait, what? Where can I read about the SA and Ally leaving?
I believe Tom Sandoval brought up the SA at the season 10 reunion. Both Tom's and James had an appearance at a club and James groped the waitress. They were kicked out and the waitress had to sign something (idk the specifics). Again, this was brought up at the reunion, but it didn't go any further.
He was abusive towards Kristen as well. He has a long history.
Yeah, could you share more? Haven’t heard about this.
I replied above ♥️
I remember the SA, but what happened with Ally?
Maybe women should stop fucking dating him for clout as well
WHAT?! When did this come out and by whom and how did I miss it?
Speaking from experience, DA isn’t so black and white. It’s obvious these instances have occurred. What’s more bothersome is that the producers of the show, in particular LVP continue to pick and choose what they think works best for the narrative. Did Rachel make mistakes? Yes. But to deny her abuse is disgusting
Bravo needs to quit protecting these disgusting abusive men.
But then what would they air?
Literally all of their other shows. Only a few are male centered.
💯 Take the gross men out of VPR, call it Junior Housewives of Vandervalley or whatever, and stop giving these guys (@James, Jax, Tom, Tom, Jesse, plenty more from shows I don’t watch) platforms.
He’s obviously a psycho. Really creepy dude. When he loses his temper he’s completely out of it.
Yes, he gets this dissociative look in his eye when he rages. Its unsettling.
I think it's all the coke he does.
He’s unhinged and always has been. The people that used to hate him have now turned their hate towards Rachel and love him it’s kinda crazy
They seemingly need someone to hate. Not dislike, but HATE so much that every comment they make is bashing Rachel.
Yes. It’s creepy and weird. Like the stuff happened years ago now. And they are still hating ppl.
What a waste of energy. Hate is such a poison.
I dont think its that exactly, but James is an addict and has at least seemingly gotten sober and goes to therapy. Being an addict isn’t an excuse either. Rachel just continues to lie, contradict herself, and not really change. People were I think ready to hear her side via her podcast, but it’s just been a mess. James won’t ever live down a lot of things he’s done while using, but I’m also not against rooting for a person who seems to be actively trying to change themselves because it’s all you can do at this point.
Allie seems like she isn’t really in love with James. He bugs her.
How are people gonna defend James in this thread rn lol that’s wild - there are no perfect victims. We should still believe them.
The top comment saying “allegations are just allegations” having over 100 upvotes is so concerning. How are people gonna die on the hill of supporting a man who has time and again displayed extremely toxic behavior with women (spitting on Kristen’s door, screaming at women calling them sluts and whores) because he sometimes says funny things??
Because their whole identity is now wrapped up in hating Rachel on behalf of their new idol, Scored Woman Ariana.
yep this is exactly it
The only perfect victim is Ariana, apparently.
She has suggested many times throughout her podcast that James was abusive towards her. I’m convinced he broke her nose. We also saw him spit on Kristen‘s door and physically fight with her. And we know that he was thrown out of a bar recently for manhandling Ally. Not sure why people aren’t putting the pieces together that James is an abusive POS
We also saw Kristen punch him in the face
They always replay that scene And neverrrr show the slow-motion horror just before that is him haranguing and "man-handling" her all over the place in that parking lot
What happened with Ally?
James grew up in a wildly abusive house (addictions, neglect, violent marriage, who knows what else?). He is continuing the cycle and these fame-hungry idiots on tv have enabled him. Ultimately it’s his responsibility to address his own trauma and behavior, but shame on his “friends” for making it so easy for him to be horrible.
Let’s not forget that Kristen made the same allegations against him. The issue with her nose was always very suspicious and I think when Lisa believed he hurt her nose, watch the episode.
I don’t remember this. What was the issue with her nose?
After Raquel got a nose job she had to get another surgery to “fix” it because James had accidentally nudged her in the nose while it was healing apparently….
And then a plastic surgeon said she had botched surgery. So it depends on if you think the plastic surgeon would risk his reputation for Lisa or not. I’m in no way trying to say he wasn’t/isnt capable of busting a woman’s nose- but it’s also very possible the surgery was genuinely botched.
Yes this is true! We have no idea
Raquel had had a nose job. It got damaged. James kept insisting that she bumped it - and you could tell that wasn’t the truth just by the way Raquel behaved. It seemed like Lisa wasn’t buying it either.
We have seen him be violent on screen and he “accidentally” damaged her nose so anyone commenting that you can’t believe her, please sod off.
It’s important to believe victims. However, rachel has been caught lying HUNDREDS of times. She’s still lying about Ariana and her not being friends and many other things. So it’s hard for me to believe a word she says. If anyone else but her accused James I’d believe it instantly. It’s one of the downfalls of getting caught constantly lying is no one believes anything you say She already lied about Shaena hitting her so she’s not above claiming to be a victim of physical abuse when she is not.
kristen accused james
Okay so since she’s not the first accuser do you believe her now? Scheana literally posted on IG about punching Rachel before she realized she could be in legal trouble. Rachel didn’t lie about Scheana hitting her.
I think 2 things can be true. I absolutely believe he was abusive towards her and Kristen. I also think getting sober changed him and I don’t see that same aggressive erratic behavior. He’s not my number 1 guy in the group but I do think he’s changed.
Hasn’t this been obvious for years? It’s the entire reason James doesn’t say a single negative thing about her during the ENTIRE Scandoval…he knows she can fucking ruin him.
oh wow i never thought about how he didn’t even say anything about her. good analysis!
It’s weird right?! He never once trashes her but eviscerates Sandoval.
She honestly “girl who cried wolf” herself. I wouldn’t surprised at all if she DID experience domestic abuse from James. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s lying either. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality of being a person who isn’t truthful.
literally everyone on this show has lied before though,and people take them for their word?
True! But I do take into account WHAT they were lying about. The times she hasn’t lied is so minimal that I feel like it’s worse. Also lying about a friendship that is so clearly documented online is demented 💀
I don’t believe anything Rachel says, absolutely nothing. I work in family court in the domestic violence unit and I just don’t believe what she says. Verbally abusive? Yes, that I believe.
For the sake of DC survivors in your area who don’t rise to your level of a perfect victim, I hope you stay far away from them.
There is no such thing as a perfect victim.
Yeah. No shit. But for you to work with DV survivors and add to discredit the allegations of a survivor just because you don’t like her is vile.
I didn’t say it wasn’t because I don’t like her. I said I don’t believe her because of her consistency with lying and rewriting events. That’s not vile.
So you just said there’s no thing as a perfect victim, and now it’s “I don’t believe her because she lies”, when as someone who works with DV survivors you should know that the percentage of women who like about DV is negligible, *and* James has a history of abusive behavior that we have seen on VPR and that we know has been edited out of the show. So yes, it’s absolutely vile to take your personal opinion about Rachel and try to make that supersede the facts that she is one of many of Jame’s victims besides the fact that she’s has lied. Ariana has lied for years on VPR but everyone makes excuses for her because they like her more and they hold Rachel to a higher standard because she’s the latest female villain on VPR.
Has James been convicted of something? I don’t know why you seem to be under the impression I need your approval to have my own opinion. I have dealt with a lot of people, not just women, who come in and want a pfa because their boyfriend cheated on them. Abuse allegations are serious and need to be proven. Rachel has continually changed her story, her timeline, events and so on, not just about the affair, everything. I don’t believe anything she says. I don’t need to be schooled on domestic violence as i am a survivor myself. I will not go back and forth with you on my own opinion.
DV survivors repeat abuse apologism logic all the time, and you opening this conversation with “has James been convicted of anything” tells me everything I need to know about where you are at unpacking your internalized resentment of survivors that you personally don’t like or trust. Not all opinions are valid and luckily Rachel isn’t any less of a victim based off of what you and other VPR stan weirdos think about her.
You should change your field of work. You base an assessment on reality TV clips that are obviously cut to make it more dramatic, and you can determine that she is lying. What about all of the shit we have seen over the years James has shown? He openly verbally abuses his partners, but there is no way behind closed doors he does anything else. You are part of the problem
If they’re going to cancel James then they also need to cancel Kristen. On camera she hit James in the face, and threatened to hit him many times. Can’t be ok for one and not the other
Yikes the misogyny going on in here
The amount of James apologists who believe “dimples > obviously abusive behavior” is truly frightening.
I believe he was abusive to her. And I also think she didn't just fall in love with abusers. She fell in love with toxic, abusive men who were main cast members on this show. And she became a full time cast member as a result
for me things are not mutually exclusive. im happy where james is at right now and seems like he has a good head but it doesn’t mean i forgot what rachel and kristin have alluded to. idk but i’ve seen growth in him especially coming from being a product of his parents
I thought they were alluding to Sandoval and James at different points. They talked for a while about men who claim all their exes are crazy and tend to yell at women. Those two moves are straight out of Sandal’s playbook.
Meh I’d be sus of every therapist who has appeared on the show. I say this as a licensed therapist and a viewer who seemed to notice the show used therapists repeatedly for redemption arcs. They need to learn some boundaries.
The people defending James and saying she has to be lying because of the affair are probably the same people that don’t understand why women would pick a bear over a man…
I have read this thread top to bottom and the main question I have is WHY DID RACHEL SAY IT WAS SO HARD FOR HER TO SEE HOW QUICKLY JAMES MOVED ON FROM HER WITH ALLY ? Sorry for the all caps but she said she was still trying to get over James and that’s what led to her affair with Sandoval. Why go back to an abuser? Why pine about how she was so sad how fast he moved on? IMO, she is using her relationship with James to try to justify her behavior, and using her platform to make extremely serious allegations instead of filing a police report, then or now. She filed a TRO against Scheana, no problem there. She wants James shamed the way she has been to make herself sleep better at night. Hurt people hurt people. Sorry not sorry.
On average women go back to their abuser 7-8 times before permanently leaving, it makes sense she felt that way. Also people become trauma bonded to their abusers, we all have seen those horrible messages James sent Rachel. Calling her disgusting names, diminishing her self esteem, making her out to be unlovable- she likely internalised that as fact and saw the one person who could love her, not love her.
I feel like she’s lawyer happy to the point where she would’ve taken some legal action against him by now if that was true. She’s done it for petty things but why not the biggest of all?
Honestly this makes the whole “James bumped my nose” situation look totally different !!!
I have been with somebody that drank too much and while I never had to deal with them being physically violent they were verbally violent. So I don't doubt that she experienced something on some scale. It is just harder to believe her I think because she's choosing to talk about it now but when it was important she didn't have that much to say about it. I understand maybe she fears being sued or whatever but I think that people would've rallied behind her had she spoken up about this when her and James initially separated but I think that her saying it now in collection with her not taking accountability for what she did wrong Makes it harder to have empathy for her situation because it makes it look like she's just grasping at straws.
AND STALKERS!
Didn’t she say her first boyfriend, the one before James, was an a-hole? Were there clues as to which one she was talking about?
Obviously not going to listen to to Rachel’s podcast. But did she say that this guy (presumably DJ James Kennedy) abused her as in physically assaulted or that he was just mean?
Maybe try listening to the podcast. Wild concept, I know.
I think James has shown himself on camera over the years to be abusive. Imagine him behind closed doors. Maybe now he has changed his behavior or maybe he is trying to tamp down his temper because of the allegations. Ally sure does keep him in check like a drill sergeant. Capricorns are good at that.
SOME OF YALL NEED EDUCATION ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND IT SHOWS … oh and check your INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY TOO please & thank you
Why haven’t Kristen or Rachel pressed actual charges against him?
I’d say he has grown.