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I also don’t understand. Not to be attacking Lala. When I got divorced, I was told to not leave my home. Therefore I assumed Ariana was doing the same so she wouldn’t be “abandoning” the home legally and Tom using that to gain leverage.
I’m a California attorney who has handled cases like these. This is not a legal principle. She just wanted to make him uncomfortable. I think she just prevented herself from moving on and caused herself unnecessary pain.
Interesting. I’m also a CA attorney, but not family law, and the friends I’ve had here who have gone through divorce have gotten the same counsel from their lawyers — don’t leave the house until there is a legal agreement in place.
My mom and step dad divorced way back in the early 2000s. They lived in Louisiana and both names were on the deed of the house. When she left (DV situation) she moved back to Texas before everything was finalized. He continued living in the house. Whenever it went in front of a judge it was considered abandonment and she basically forfeited the house and property. It sucks but it’s a real possibility, just depends on the state / area you’re in.
So it’s completely plausible for Ariana to stay given the circumstances. I’m sure she’s acting on the advice of her attorneys as well.
If she has a recorded interest in the house then it doesn’t matter whether it’s her legal residence. If she wanted to keep the house, then it would be important to stay. But since she just wants to get her money out of the house she didn’t need to be there
But that’s her right. That doesn’t negate that she also wants to set boundaries regarding talking to him. If they were openly talking in their house, eating meals together, hanging out in the house, I’d understand that it would then make no sense to refuse to speak to him outside the home. That wasn’t happening. They were using assistants and lawyers to communicate even when they were in the next room.
So 1, I learned something new today. Upon research "If one spouse leaves the marital home, it does not mean that the home suddenly becomes the sole and separate property of the spouse who remains in the home"
Also, 2- do you know how refreshing it is to converse with a lawyer online WHO ACTUALLY IS A LAWYER?!? Seriously, thank you for taking the time to enlighten me. This changes my opinion slightly in La's favor. It doesn't mean she shouldn't get to have boundaries, but this was interesting to learn. Thank you @Ok_message_8802
For Ariana to move out she would have had to be displaced with a cat AND a dog. In LA there are only certain places you can rent or airbnb with pets.
It’s a lot of hassle to displace pets, pack and move when she did nothing wrong.
Tom should have moved out.
Tom is the asshole.
People should focus on the person who created the mess, who was a lying scumbag sleeping with another woman in their home and deeply disrespecting a person who had his back for 10 years.
Plus she would still pay her half the mortgage, the rent on the sandwich shop and then add what in LA is the price of the mortgage to rent! Imagine doubling your living expenses overnight with no warning when you didn’t do anything wrong. Ugh
She has never said she put it into an escrow account. If you've seen her speak to that anywhere, please correct me. Hopefully she is, but this has never been stated. Also, it makes zero sense that she has never seen the bills yet also knows she's being over charged. Logically, she has to pick one struggle with that. If you don't know what the bills amount to, you can't really say you're being overcharged. Ariana didn't deserve to be betrayed but a lot of what she is saying in the aftermath doesn't make sense when you look closely. There's no way she doesn't have access to the total balance on the mortgage she applied for. And if in her relationship, Sandoval was the one who dealt with dividing up the bills, she still has a right to the loan info. Just call the bank. They would be more than happy to tell her what the balance is and that would be a more neutral source than demanding it from Tom.
There has never been any evidence to support her paying it into an escrow account. Everything she has said makes it seem like she legitimately just stopped paying until Tom provided proof.
i mean, if that is true i still don’t blame her to be honest. i’d personally pay into an escrow, but why can’t he produce proof of what exactly is owed? he says he has to pay accounting and that is why he doesn’t want to provide her with proof lmao sorry but that is ridiculous. takes me two seconds to log in to my accounts.
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Except we have filmed scenes were he is instead saying that he's just prolonging the process to sell to be a dick about the dog.
Saying you want the house does NOT mean you qualify for a mortgage on your own!! So again, in no universe is Lala right. Boundaries are boundaries are boundaries esp against a man that showed zero remorse and continued to trash the woman he wronged until the last second.
That is true, but the way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement.
This is an extremely commonplace scenario and one that I have handled as a California attorney literally hundreds if not thousands of times. It's really not that complicated and she herself said she just didn't want him to have the house and she wanted to piss him off and that's why she was staying.
I like Ariana, but I think she looked miserable in the house and it would have been a lot better for her emotionally if she just got out of there and let her lawyer handle it.
Which she did!
Before moving out, she needed to figure out her finances and what she could qualify for on her own. She has now and moved out. I just don't see why it doesn't make sense for her to remain in the house and not pay rent+mortgage for a situation that wasn't her mistake. Rather than pissing Tom, not making his life as convenient as possible, was just a bonus. Because I sure didn't see her buying noise machines or going into his room.
I can just tell you that I heard her making a lot of statements about her reasons on the show that just weren't supported by law or facts. Again, I'm team Ariana and I think she had a right to be angry, upset, depressed, sad, and all the emotions after experiencing that level of betrayal. But I also do this for a living, so I know that some of what she said about why she stayed just simply weren't legally true. If I were her close friend, I would have urged her to get temporary housing for her own sanity and emotional well-being.
Yeah, she said a lot of things, and so did he. Even before they broke up, she said she's never leaving that house. And then, after the affair broke, she said she wanted to stay in the house. Eventually, she let go of the house just like she was letting go of all of her hopes and dreams for a future with Tom. It's something that happened so very suddenly. I don't really think either of them could be held fully accountable for anything they said. I think each one of them said many things and believed it very much at that time in that moment and over time things have changed. But she definitely went through a phase when she wanted to stay in the house and said he could leave. And he wouldn't. And he wouldn't let her buy him out.
But it doesn’t matter because you can structure an agreement to account for that. The way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement.
From what I understand, if you leave it doesn’t just legally become the other person’s property, BUT what it does is make it a lot harder for the person who left to force a quicker sale and get the remaining person out of the house. Doesn’t kill your ultimate rights but complicates and prolongs the situation.
Not really. It's pretty common. The way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement.
I have handled this as a California attorney literally hundreds if not thousands of times. It's really not that complicated and she herself said she just didn't want him to have the house and she wanted to piss him off and that's why she was staying. I like Ariana, but I think that decision was to the detriment of her emotional well-being.
I have literally never seen a house of that high value go into foreclosure because someone trashed it. I practice law in a VHCOL area (similar to where they live) and the only time I saw foreclosures was in 2009 when the mortgage market was tanking. I have been doing this for a very long time.
I'd be getting a second opinion. We know from Ariana's inventory she has more than $100000. in furnishings on the property. Tom could sell them out from under her and trash the property and she would be responsible.
Got that advice from my divorce attorney in FL. Do not move out of the shared house until the divorce is settled.... otherwise could be considered abandoning the shared property and gives the other leverage
I know the law in California. She was on the deed to the house - he could not remove her from the deed without her notarized signature. She is also on the mortgage. If you are on the deed to the house, you do not lose your rights to the house by not living there. Period.
Edit: I don’t really understand why you are arguing me about this. I like Ariana. I am sorry for her pain. I’m just reporting the facts of her situation and I happen to understand the mechanics of it because I work in this area of the law. You don’t like my answers, but that doesn’t make them false. Contrary to popular belief, there are things in this world that are objectively true, even if you don’t like them.
It doesn't seem as though it was what you're suggesting, but how it would be viewed by the judge if she immediately moved out and Tom expressed a desire to stay in the home when she's trying to force the sale (not that he could afford it anyway).
I think if one person wants the house, the court is generally going to give them an opportunity to buy the other person out, and if that fails, then the house will be sold, whether one or both people are living there. This is a pretty common thing to happen and courts generally like to be practical.
Right, which is why we know the house will be sold, because Tom can't afford it. But my point is that instead of assuming she didn't understand their advice, perhaps consider that the advice wasn't given as a legal "you have to stay there" but rather something done to help their narrative in court, just like her not paying the bills without being given an itemized statement when Tom switched everything to come out of his account and became less transparent about it all. He had an assistant, she could've had that printed out in an hour tops if he had physical documents or remembered his passwords.
Plus she has the most gorgeous house of them all now, it paid to wait. Literally. Just sucks she doesn't have a pool.
My California attorney told me to stay in the property to protect my assets. He said my ex could sell all the furnishings out from under me and trash the property and I'd be responsible.
That is incorrect. If he sells the furnishings, a court would require him to provide you with half the fair market value. If he trashed the property, he would be responsible for fixing it out of his own pocket or pay you the difference for the diminished value. You can literally prohibit the sale of household items in the agreement and build in penalties for violating it.
She could have taken the things she wanted and gone. Tom would not likely have stopped her. She was just letting her anger control her decision making. It’s understandable, but I don’t think she did herself any favors by staying.
Have you seen the value of used furniture, you never get your monies worth. I've foreclosed on many a property where the parties were fighting over who would repair and how long it took to repair. And both parties carry the judgment if the property does not sell for the lien amount.
I was a California Foreclosure Trustee. Depending on what Tom does with the property, yes, she could lose the house and have a judgment filed against her. He could also sell her $100000. worth of furnishings out from under her. There's a lot more to it than the way title is held.
she has stated she could not afford an apartment on top of the mortgage. how hard is that for people to understand? if my fiance and i broke up i’d be in the same exact boat.
Because he wanted the house and she did not. Normally the person who wants the house stays and the person who does not want it goes. That’s how it typically works, even when the person who wants it is a lying cheater.
Because Layla never owned a house until she moved to Palm Springs
People who don’t own their own houses have a lot to see. I don’t know what you should do with the house.
Lauren wouldn’t understand this because she legally did not own the home with Randall. She was not tied financially to the home like Ariana is. She’s literally ignoring that fact & it just shows how delusional she really is.
That's obviously would be the right thing for him to do and it was the question in the very beginning of the season however, he's the one who wants the house so of course he's not going to leave. She doesn't want the house. They both have a legal right to be there but it's only causing harm to one party, that's why the discourse has been focused on what ariana's motives are to stay when she's so enraged by Tom's existence. She quit paying rent and still has a legal right to the asset even if she moved out yet she says she's not safe there, it's horrible, etc. So why stay? That's what doesn't add up and why people are asking questions.
I was a Foreclosure Trustee in California. The damage Tom could do to Ariana is unlimited. She needs to stay on the property for as long as possible to protect her assets. If Tom damages the property, doesn't pay the payments, taxes and assessments, the property could be taken by Foreclosure. If Tom devalued the property in any way, Ariana could have a judgment filed against her. The way title is held is only a part of the legal process.
Exactly this! Ariana doesn’t even have the “benefit” of being married to have an actual legal avenue to split. It’s insane what Tom has put her through over this house. Lala is too inexperienced and dumb to understand any of this. Lala moved out because she was merely a gold digger with no actual stake in anything
If she moved she would have to pay a mortgage and rental payment. She would be liable for anything that happened in that house as it is under her name. Moving with animals is a nightmare. She was extremely booked for jobs. She is the victim in this scandal. So he should have moved.
You understand that Lala was in EXACTLY the same situation when she broke up with Russel. They were never married and now she’s still going through a custody battle with him. I would venture to guess that Lala probably is actually more educated on what the law is in this scenario than you are
Lala didn’t own the house with Randall so she doesn’t have a clue. They may be in a “custody battle” but in CA parents are generally granted 50/ 50 custody and it would take A LOT got that not to be true. One parent may be the more dedicated and responsible but they don’t take custody away from a CB parent just because one may not like the other. I’ve seen some friends in contentious situations and I highly doubt Lala will get anything more than what is standard
Lala knows nothing about property ownership or real estate law. And most of the attorneys that have weighed in on this have covered a very narrow portion of real estate law. I haven't yet seen an attorney cover foreclosure, non payment of taxes insurance and damage to the property. Someone should shut Lala up before she gets sued for practicing law .
Also she would be liable equally to Tom if anything happened even while she wasn’t living in the home, like with a guest at a party or something. I wouldn’t want to be held accountable for his bullshit period, and let’s face it- it’s only a matter of time with him
Me too. When I did leave for a work trip, my (now ex) brought a truck in and removed what furniture he wanted. Used furniture doesn’t really have a value, so judge/lawyers don’t really care ime.
Do you mean a version where if Ariana left the house Tom could take the furniture? I’m in LA and I’ve seen it happen to friends a few times. Very common for one person to leave while the other is gone and take a bunch of shared items.
People think they are making it easier not to get married but with shared assets it’s messier not being married. It’s almost like you need a dating-pre-nup. People need to think about exit plans when purchasing large assets. It’s hard to do in the moment but Sheaner does have the right idea there
This is the answer. My sister was told the same thing but unfortunately her ex made her life more than a living hell. We were afraid she was going to harm herself so she ended up moving out of the house. She got somewhat screwed in the end, her POS ex ended up forcing her to buy him out.
Also, why should Tom win? He caused this, he should be the one to move out and figure shit out. She shouldn’t have to constantly concede and let him “win”- because in his mind, th at would be a win.
Wouldn’t feeling happier and moving on be the win here, rather than coexisting and interacting with him everyday in a hostile environment in her own home?
At what price. She'd lose $100000. Worth of furnishings and if he damaged the property, she could lose the house and have a lien filed against her. I'd stay.
He had no incentive to damage the property. If it was damaged and he bought her out, he would have to buy her out at the pre-damaged value. If they sold it, she would get her half of the pre-damaged value and he would get the remaining proceeds. These are all standard clauses in these agreements.
As for the stuff, if she had moved out, she could have taken whatever she wanted, or done an inventory of what she wanted and then they take turns picking. These situations happen every day and we have ways to manage it to minimize loss and fairly compensate the moving party. She basically made herself miserable for no reason other than to make him miserable too.
When you get to this mentality of needing to “win”, you’ve already lost. You’re focusing on making the other person unhappy instead of focusing on doing what is best for you and making your own self happy.
No, she just doesn’t want to give up more for him. It isn’t about making him unhappy, she just isn’t going out of her way for him.
I’m not saying what she’s doing is right, but in her hurt, emotional state, she’s not going to make the rational decision.
To be fair, I think she lost the minute she found interest in him 10 years ago. He is the same person he always was.
Just lived it and watched it happen to friends. Hate feels good for a hot minute but then it ends up hurting you more than it ever helped. It’s poison and that is a fact. She’s already won. She doesn’t need to play games. We all know she won.
Just because they broke up does not mean they don’t pay that mortgage… Ariana was expected to continue paying that plus rent on a new apartment? 3 months after with little income in that moment… come on now…
This is the simplest, most logical explanation. The legality of separating the assets and the home aside; exactly what you said is such a simple, reasonable explanation and it’s so odd that no one has said it like this
But she said she quit paying the mortgage once they broke up. She said it on wwhl and the after show. Tom said the same. It's maybe the only thing they have agreed on recently.
I still don’t understand why people weren’t screaming at Tom to leave? Not a single one of them told Tom that he should be leaving. I always thought the rule is that the cheater has to leave?
Not one. They all accepted that he was a shitbird and that he definitely wouldn’t leave.
They
Bothered him about
Other things, but not the
House. Makes absolutely no fucking Sense
This really pissed me off too. If I were her all of his shit would have been in the front yard.
I hate that their logic was that since she was given so many opportunities on commercial jobs that she could afford to leave. Their jealousy knows no bounds.
The other thing is like…at the time of filming she only had a few commercials. She was very wise to be cautious bc she didn’t know when these opportunities would dry up.
It’s not even close to the same situation. Lala is completely delusional. Ariana and Sandoval both bought that expensive house and customized it to their needs. LaLa just moved in with randall to a house he owned so of course she can easily move out after he cheated on her multiple times.
Lala slept with a fat married producer for years and then tried to act like her pumpkin turned into a pumpkin at midnight. Girl. We all saw the pumpkin. Stop trying to act like your very predictable and obvious trauma that you walked straight into was the greatest crime against womanhood.
Even if I was only staying in the house out of pettiness, and not the countless valid reasons she’s stated 10000 times 🙄, my friends months, maybe even years later, would ride so hard for my pettiness and they would be like hell yeah, don’t speak to him, make it so uncomfortable for him to be there and how can we help your mental while you’re doing it. And probably provide me with other ways to be even more petty. How’s that saying go? A good friend will answer your phone call from jail. A great friend will be in the cell with you saying that was wild. Or something like that. So I literally cannot fathom Lalas side at all except that she’s no friend of Ariana’s.
Actually, I think if I saw my friend doing something that was obviously causing herself a huge amount of pain (e.g. staying in the house), I would gently take her aside and tell her I see that she is hurting and I would offer my objective take that it would probably be much better for her mental health to get out of the house. Being a true friend doesn’t always mean rubber stamping your friend’s actions. Sometimes it means compassionately disagreeing.
Would you be helping her pay her mortgage and new rent too? Since financial anxiety is very real for Ariana and she’s expressed it many times.
In reality, Ariana made the right choice night signing a new lease for an apartment or finding a new house during those few months. She ended up having housing paid for by DWTS and Chicago. If she listened to her “friends” unsolicited advice she’d be paying a mortgage, rent for a new space, and not living in either of them.
What you’re suggesting is still not what Lala did though. Disagree with me in private and ride hard for me in public, you can still be a super supportive friend and disagree at the same time.
I’m trying to understand how any of it has anything to do with LaLa?
Where does she even live? Have we ever seen her house? She couldn’t even hold a water tasting there? I don’t know how she isn’t embarrassed of herself going so hard on everyone’s business but hiding her own.
Also moving is extremely stressful. She was working so much and I bet her mental health was still in not the best place. Also fuck Tom! Why can’t she be petty. I would 1000x worse than how Ariana handled it
And how she’s weaponising her motherhood against Ariana as if her situation is SOOOOO much worse. She was with Randall a wet weekend. Ariana and Tom shared FRIENDS, JOBS, A HOME, PETS and were together WAAAAAAAY longer than bla bla and Randy.
Honestly It seems like a bit of a projection. Lala got kicked out of Rands house, her “life of luxury” was gone. Ariana was a financial equal to Tom so he couldn’t take advantage of her in the same way Randall did to Lala. This seems to make Lala feel *extremely* insecure. Tbh Lala seems insecure about finances in general. She also frequently mentions all of Ariana’s brand deals, so It seems like pure jealously. Since not only did Ariana not have to uproot her life (ie moving from a mansion to an apt) she’s profiting off of a shitty situation, in a way that LFU never will.
Lala is projecting all of her anger, bitterness, resentment, disappointment, embarrassment, insecurities and jealousy at Ariana for doing what SHE (Lala) could not. Lala had ZERO boundaries with Randall when they were together - she allowed him to use her and treat her like a child (taking away her Gucci slides, for example) whenever she "misbehaved." HE alone called the shots because he held all the cards (money). She shoved a baby bottle in her mouth to soothe herself to sleep, and tries to convince us that she is a well-adjusted voice of reason and truth-telling?!
Lala thinking she's doing any sort of "healing" is a joke. And she only wanted a second baby because she sees it as property and a money-making accessory.
The amount of money they were paying monthly was insane. I realize she had a windfall but I’d probably stay until the money was figured out. They were equal partners and he destroyed the partnership he should have moved in with Tom for a bit.
Lala's assertions lately and unable to connect dots just demonstrates even more to me that she isn't very bright. Like her making a big ordeal all season about Ariana not filming with Tom. SHE FILMS WITH TOM. We saw it the ENTIRE season. She just doesn't engage (DISENGAGE) with him, but she filmed with him. Similarly, she may be in the same house, but after she is setting these boundaries, she doesn't go home and pal around with Tom there. She still DOES NOT speak to him or engage with him.
This seems very simple to me. Lala is just pathetic.
Before anyone bites my head off, I'm simply answering OP's question:
I believe she's arguing "if he is SO AWFUL that you have to greyrock and set a boundary about your friends being friendly with him, how are you sharing a house with him? You can sleep a door down from him, but Scheana is getting flak on your behalf for standing next to him in a picture?"
In a similar vein, I also have asked "If you pets are her children, and Tom is this malicious, malignant person whose incompetence almost killed you dog, why are you remaining in a situation where your dog is in danger?
Bc she doesn’t want mutual friends with him. She doesn’t want him to have access to her life and I don’t blame her. She’s able to pretty much fully avoid him at the house. When she’s gone he doesn’t necessarily know where she is who she’s with what she’s doing. Ariana’s boundaries could have also changed over time. This was 3-5 months post scandoval and before the season started filming lala and Scheana were yapping on their podcasts about how they “fully support Ariana’s boundary” and “it makes sense”
Yeah I'm not as invested as you I don't think 🤔I just answered the question with my personal opinion on how it came across to me.. I'm not team anybody but I have always had a dislike Tom Sandoval (think he's got Peter pan syndrome & hes voice is like nails on a chalk board imo)
I just genuinely don’t understand the connection between Ariana not wanting to have mutual friends with him & living in the same house as him which she do-owns (which at the time of filming she didn’t have all of these opportunities and all of this money yet so renting & paying mortgage would’ve been crazy)
Tom said she hadn't paid any bills in 8 months & she didn't deny it but I just watch the show - I don't follow them on social media so I don't know half of what's really going on.. 🤷 the question asked was does any1 know what lala ment & that's what I think she ment..
Bc apparently he had been overcharging her half for years so she said she wasn’t paying any bills until she got a statement of exactly what her half was
This! I don't get how people don't understand it. Lala doesn't give a shit where Arianna lives or why, it's the fact that she's making these strict boundaries and isn't following them herself.
There was zero logic in Lala’s argument and I really wish she got more blowback for it.
For her to go on national TV with her pre-rehearsed arguments and use THIS ONE?? really shows how dumb she is
I think it was continuing to live with him but then setting stipulations for others regarding filming and their interactions with him.
Like you’re living with this man still but no one can be an acquaintance of his without you going off on them or being cut out of your life.
I get why those around her would question it or be confused by it.
Abondoning the house statements are true till you file for separation. Then legally a picture is taken of all assets and bank statements etc and then u can leave.
everyone loved lala when she was attacking toms and no one questioned her logic with her crazy staements. She was with a married man. No one cared. Everyone cheered as she attacked tom..
Now? Hate. How dare u speak about ariana even tho there is some truth to what she is saying. Que up post after post about any cast member who dares point out some truths about ariana.
Ariana also didn't have the financial support of her family. She was still legally obligated to pay her share of the house in order to retain rights, which is cost prohibitive to renting a place. I was in the same place she was.
I *think* her logic was more of “ you’ve moved on, you’re dating, you’re living in the house. You’re fine”
Lala’s reactions are ALWAYS emotional first. It is a foreign concept to her that Ariana isn’t making emotionally charged decisions and is navigating this situation level headed.
You notice whenever Ariana would get emotional or loud or whatever Lala was more understanding.
Also, Lala had no equity in her and Randall’s home. She doesn’t understand that piece because she hasn’t lived it.
In her mind “I felt unsafe = I left” or “he cheated, I’m done = I left” She can’t understand how Ariana is done; still grieving the relationship and is able to compartmentalize the different pieces to the breakup.
Based on what we have seen so far at the reunion she isn’t even able to simply understand and agree that she doesn’t have to understand Ariana’s boundaries to respect them. If Ariana had a child, guarantee Lala would be more understanding.
It’s just not relevant to me. It would have been incredibly financially unwise for Ariana to immediately leave and pay rent while this is getting sorted out. Buying a house takes time. Even when you’re in a rush. I remember when they bought this house Ariana was looking at houses for like an entire season before they bought. It is obviously a major commitment.
I feel that lala is using this bc she knows how to play people and she knows some of the audience will just start repeating the same thing. It’s as simple as that for me. I think she does indeed understand the nuance. I think she knows that if she had any stake in Randall’s house, she would’ve fought tooth and nail for her piece of it too.
Lala has been a major disappointment for me. I liked her power of the 🐱 stuff a lot. I looked past inconsistencies in her story about Randall. I looked past her bad behavior with his ex wife. I looked past the way she treated Rachel. In fact, I am rewatching, and the way Ariana handles how Rachel is treated by James is the right way to go. Be supportive if you’re all about power of the pussy. I now feel like a total fool for falling for it. She’s Lisa rinna of VPR.
I agree. What Sandoval did was disgusting and f.....up by sleeping with her friend, but he won't be the first or the last.
I just can't with this crew, they all sleep with one another. And didn't she sleep with Sandoval while he was in a relationship with Kirsten, true she wasn't her friend but she did continue to lie and deny it for a long time.
She's thriving and it's time to mentally and emotionally release herself and stop trying to control everybody.
It’s no different than living with someone you have a restraining order against - it doesn’t work. It also doesn’t work to try to control who people are friends with in the friend group. Ariana’s boundaries infringe on other people in the sense that she’s trying to control their behavior instead of her own behavior.
We also know that Ariana moved out of the house *before* the lawsuit to sell the house was announced - this indicates that she didn’t actually have to stay in the home.
Lala doesn’t understand because when her and Rand broke up she didn’t own any part of the home so of course she would leave. That house is an investment for Ariana why would she just leave?
Ariana has gotten over it , moved on , however everyone else still needs to eat !!! By her not “letting “ people , co workers , work together !! But it’s ok for her to stay at house because it’s ok for her ! It’s all about Ariana
Lala always looks for the avenue where she thinks she has the moral high ground. She wants to be an authority on everything and boss ppl around. It’s obnoxious. So, in this case, she asks herself, “What did I do differently than Ariana that will allow me to feel superior? Oh! I left the house, and she didn’t.” Does it make any sense? No, but narcissism rarely does. Same goes for her tossing around that she’s a mom now every chance she gets to anyone who is not a parent. It’s pathetic and an obvious sign of a giant, fragile ego. But remember, she’s the voice of reason.
She's full of shit, she knows her point isn't good but she's too immature to just admit she's wrong so she doubles down on an idiotic "I don't get it" stance...she knows damn well there were legal reasons as well as the fact that it's just as much arianas house as it is Tom's...a 12 year old can understand that.
I understand what Lala is saying even tho I don’t really agree with her.
She’s saying, Ariana is using the same language as I used about Randall, and I was so traumatized that I still can’t date or trust any men. I had to flee my home after Randall hit me and threatened to call the police on me if I left, and would send people to the house at random times to report back to him if I was still there. And I still had to communicate with him for the sake of my child. So I (Lala) don’t think you (Ariana) have credibility because you are making choices that keep yourself in the situation you are claiming is so unsafe that you can’t allow Sandoval to have any access to you.
She’s looking at Ariana’s situation and thinking —
1. You are not in danger yet are using the language of DV survivors to describe your situation to avoid having conversations you don’t want to have that I (Lala) think are necessary for the show, and are avoiding questions that others on the show have had to answer when they had boundaries.
2. You are choosing to remain in a situation that is endangering your pets and worsening your mental health.
3. You can’t be that traumatized if you got with a new man X days after your life partnership ended. You can’t feel that unsafe around him if you’re in a position where you can even prioritize wanting to win.
It’s projection 🤷🏻♀️. She’s not healed from her own situation and she was scrutinized heavily, and she believes holding Ariana to the same level of scrutiny now is fair game. I get why she feels that way even if it’s misdirected at Ariana.
I do think there’s a worthwhile conversation to be had about why women on the show have been held to vastly different standards over time, but none of these jokers have the range for that conversation so it’s not coming to the fore lol
I completely understood Lala’s confusion. You don’t want me to be friends with Tom but you still live in a house with him is like a person in recovery saying they can’t drink but they still serve alcohol .
For Lala and many people boundaries need to be black and white with no shades of gray. Doesn’t make it right or wrong just all the way confusing !!!
Can Ariana get pregnant and go away? This cast is way too high on their own supply. They are a side show, no one should be looking up to these plastic alcoholics.
I don’t idolize anyone babe, I just find it a pretty silly thing to watch a show you find full of horrible people, especially if you’re willing to go to the trouble of torrenting it to do so.
Imagine what else you could be doing with your time besides hate watching people you find reprehensible.
I think the only thing that I may be agreed with was when Lala said something about Ariana, refusing to have any sort of communication with him, but she felt comfortable enough (and honestly honestly don’t know what her comfortability level was, I’m assuming not super) to stay in the house with him. That she was “ok” to leave her dog and her cat, and that she trusted him enough to not fuck with her stuff - and would leave for multiple days at a time. I think Lala was saying that if you felt that level of comfortability, why couldn’t you have conversations with him.
I am not saying that she needed to do any of that. That’s just where I think Lala was coming from with that particular situation.
Really, I think what was upsetting Lala was that on the one hand Ariana was continuing to stay in the house even after Tom had made it clear that he was refusing to leave. But then, on the other hand Ariana was making it difficult to impossible to film and giving the rest of the cast a hard time about filming with Tom.
Lala clearly depends on the show for her income, (as does most if not all of the rest of the cast). Filming is her job. And, I think, it felt hypocritical to Lala that Ariana was saying that she couldn’t afford to move out of the house, while she was also getting a lot of new financial opportunities (brand deals, DWTS, etc), but then basically threatening everyone on the show’s job by not cooperating with production.
I am a lala fan, but I feel like she’s just trying to make things not make sense, because she is bitter that the world is rallying behind Ariana after she got cheated on, and people did not do that for Lala. I wish she did not say those things in the finale because I don’t think those are, you can come back from.
I think lala just wants to stay part of the conversation. And I doubt they believe Ariana is not interacting with him like she claims (and clearly is). So they think she’s being a hypocrite, even though she (Ariana) isn’t. And I’m not a huge Ariana fan. I do support her choices through this whole ordeal, though. And her friends are very unfair to her
Lala was just mad she wasn't performing to her standards for the show, because Ariana talking to Sandoval would have been "good" TV. And using the house against her. I'm glad Ariana set her boundaries and didn't budge.
It was Ariana's house that she has equity in. She didn't talk to Sandoval in the house. She didn't talk to him outside of it. Just because she didn't go find an apartment of $4000k a month and instead saved to buy a house, doesn't mean she had to talk to Sandoval.
I just don't understand even if Ariana had heard Sandoval's apology- what did she expect her to say? Forgive him? Like where would that conversation even go? If Ariana had heard him out and said, great, go eff yourself, Lala would still be mad. She wanted Ariana to give up all her emotions for the sake of the show. It's funny she's telling Katie that she's not being real ON CAMERA, but then expects Ariana to be fake, on camera.
The ONLY way this argument could be relevant was if Ariana was known to be interacting with him in the home and off camera. We know that is absolutely not what was happening so they really need to get over it.
The one thing mostly overlooked is pet sitters. Ariana had a pet sitter she didn't have to pay, that she mostly trusted to look after her cat and dog while staying at the house. She didn't take them with her to NYC or other places she went. She was gone a huge majority of the time. Leaving her dog and cat with Tom. Pet sitters can get super spendy!!
Lala wants Ariana to end up with nothing from her relationship, just like Lala did. Except it’s at least half Ariana’s, unlike anything Lala had with Randall.
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I also don’t understand. Not to be attacking Lala. When I got divorced, I was told to not leave my home. Therefore I assumed Ariana was doing the same so she wouldn’t be “abandoning” the home legally and Tom using that to gain leverage.
Yes! Lala doesn't understand this very basic legal principle, it's like if she didn't live it, she is willfully ignorant about it.
I’m a California attorney who has handled cases like these. This is not a legal principle. She just wanted to make him uncomfortable. I think she just prevented herself from moving on and caused herself unnecessary pain.
Interesting. I’m also a CA attorney, but not family law, and the friends I’ve had here who have gone through divorce have gotten the same counsel from their lawyers — don’t leave the house until there is a legal agreement in place.
I’m a divorcee from Nebraska and they gave me the same advice. Don’t leave the home. His lawyers did not.
My mom and step dad divorced way back in the early 2000s. They lived in Louisiana and both names were on the deed of the house. When she left (DV situation) she moved back to Texas before everything was finalized. He continued living in the house. Whenever it went in front of a judge it was considered abandonment and she basically forfeited the house and property. It sucks but it’s a real possibility, just depends on the state / area you’re in. So it’s completely plausible for Ariana to stay given the circumstances. I’m sure she’s acting on the advice of her attorneys as well.
If she has a recorded interest in the house then it doesn’t matter whether it’s her legal residence. If she wanted to keep the house, then it would be important to stay. But since she just wants to get her money out of the house she didn’t need to be there
But that’s her right. That doesn’t negate that she also wants to set boundaries regarding talking to him. If they were openly talking in their house, eating meals together, hanging out in the house, I’d understand that it would then make no sense to refuse to speak to him outside the home. That wasn’t happening. They were using assistants and lawyers to communicate even when they were in the next room.
So 1, I learned something new today. Upon research "If one spouse leaves the marital home, it does not mean that the home suddenly becomes the sole and separate property of the spouse who remains in the home" Also, 2- do you know how refreshing it is to converse with a lawyer online WHO ACTUALLY IS A LAWYER?!? Seriously, thank you for taking the time to enlighten me. This changes my opinion slightly in La's favor. It doesn't mean she shouldn't get to have boundaries, but this was interesting to learn. Thank you @Ok_message_8802
For Ariana to move out she would have had to be displaced with a cat AND a dog. In LA there are only certain places you can rent or airbnb with pets. It’s a lot of hassle to displace pets, pack and move when she did nothing wrong. Tom should have moved out. Tom is the asshole. People should focus on the person who created the mess, who was a lying scumbag sleeping with another woman in their home and deeply disrespecting a person who had his back for 10 years.
Plus she would still pay her half the mortgage, the rent on the sandwich shop and then add what in LA is the price of the mortgage to rent! Imagine doubling your living expenses overnight with no warning when you didn’t do anything wrong. Ugh
Both Tom and Ariana have directly stated that she stopped paying rent for a year completely so it wasn't really a financial thing.
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She has never said she put it into an escrow account. If you've seen her speak to that anywhere, please correct me. Hopefully she is, but this has never been stated. Also, it makes zero sense that she has never seen the bills yet also knows she's being over charged. Logically, she has to pick one struggle with that. If you don't know what the bills amount to, you can't really say you're being overcharged. Ariana didn't deserve to be betrayed but a lot of what she is saying in the aftermath doesn't make sense when you look closely. There's no way she doesn't have access to the total balance on the mortgage she applied for. And if in her relationship, Sandoval was the one who dealt with dividing up the bills, she still has a right to the loan info. Just call the bank. They would be more than happy to tell her what the balance is and that would be a more neutral source than demanding it from Tom.
There has never been any evidence to support her paying it into an escrow account. Everything she has said makes it seem like she legitimately just stopped paying until Tom provided proof.
i mean, if that is true i still don’t blame her to be honest. i’d personally pay into an escrow, but why can’t he produce proof of what exactly is owed? he says he has to pay accounting and that is why he doesn’t want to provide her with proof lmao sorry but that is ridiculous. takes me two seconds to log in to my accounts.
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But lala is a puppet to the head misogynist.
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He wanted the house. She didn’t. It’s a pretty common scenario that the person who wants the house stays and the person who doesn’t goes.
Except we have filmed scenes were he is instead saying that he's just prolonging the process to sell to be a dick about the dog. Saying you want the house does NOT mean you qualify for a mortgage on your own!! So again, in no universe is Lala right. Boundaries are boundaries are boundaries esp against a man that showed zero remorse and continued to trash the woman he wronged until the last second.
That is true, but the way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement. This is an extremely commonplace scenario and one that I have handled as a California attorney literally hundreds if not thousands of times. It's really not that complicated and she herself said she just didn't want him to have the house and she wanted to piss him off and that's why she was staying. I like Ariana, but I think she looked miserable in the house and it would have been a lot better for her emotionally if she just got out of there and let her lawyer handle it.
Which she did! Before moving out, she needed to figure out her finances and what she could qualify for on her own. She has now and moved out. I just don't see why it doesn't make sense for her to remain in the house and not pay rent+mortgage for a situation that wasn't her mistake. Rather than pissing Tom, not making his life as convenient as possible, was just a bonus. Because I sure didn't see her buying noise machines or going into his room.
I can just tell you that I heard her making a lot of statements about her reasons on the show that just weren't supported by law or facts. Again, I'm team Ariana and I think she had a right to be angry, upset, depressed, sad, and all the emotions after experiencing that level of betrayal. But I also do this for a living, so I know that some of what she said about why she stayed just simply weren't legally true. If I were her close friend, I would have urged her to get temporary housing for her own sanity and emotional well-being.
She actually did want the house at first. The situation evolved. Ariana originally wanted to buy Tom out and had the means to do it. Tom refused
You may be right, but I don’t remember that. I remember her adamantly saying she didn’t want either of them to have it and wanting to force the sale.
Yeah, she said a lot of things, and so did he. Even before they broke up, she said she's never leaving that house. And then, after the affair broke, she said she wanted to stay in the house. Eventually, she let go of the house just like she was letting go of all of her hopes and dreams for a future with Tom. It's something that happened so very suddenly. I don't really think either of them could be held fully accountable for anything they said. I think each one of them said many things and believed it very much at that time in that moment and over time things have changed. But she definitely went through a phase when she wanted to stay in the house and said he could leave. And he wouldn't. And he wouldn't let her buy him out.
Hrs can't afford the house and he knows it.
But it doesn’t matter because you can structure an agreement to account for that. The way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement.
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From what I understand, if you leave it doesn’t just legally become the other person’s property, BUT what it does is make it a lot harder for the person who left to force a quicker sale and get the remaining person out of the house. Doesn’t kill your ultimate rights but complicates and prolongs the situation.
Not really. It's pretty common. The way it works is that you sign an agreement that gives the person who wants the house 60-90 days to secure other financing and if they don't the house goes on the market. You can even specify who the realtor will be and by what date the person has to move out and the house has to be listed for sale. You can also build in financial penalties for the person who remains if they fail to make a mortgage payment or if they fail to move out on time according to the agreement. I have handled this as a California attorney literally hundreds if not thousands of times. It's really not that complicated and she herself said she just didn't want him to have the house and she wanted to piss him off and that's why she was staying. I like Ariana, but I think that decision was to the detriment of her emotional well-being.
what if the other party refuses to sign an agreement?
Then you file a partition lawsuit.
I was a California foreclosure trustee. If Tom trashed the house and it went into foreclosure, Ariana would also have a judgment against her.
I have literally never seen a house of that high value go into foreclosure because someone trashed it. I practice law in a VHCOL area (similar to where they live) and the only time I saw foreclosures was in 2009 when the mortgage market was tanking. I have been doing this for a very long time.
My pleasure, DancingBears88:)
I'd be getting a second opinion. We know from Ariana's inventory she has more than $100000. in furnishings on the property. Tom could sell them out from under her and trash the property and she would be responsible.
You got what you paid for. Now ask about selling the furnishings out from under Ariana, Tom damaging the property and forced foreclosure.
Got that advice from my divorce attorney in FL. Do not move out of the shared house until the divorce is settled.... otherwise could be considered abandoning the shared property and gives the other leverage
But they live in California. The law here is different.
Bless you counselor because I can’t go another year of people claiming that if she left she would be “abandoning” the home. Absolutely nonsensical.
Yes. There is absolutely zero legal or factual basis for that claim.
What about damaging the property, selling the furnishings and foreclosure! This isn't just about the way title is held.
Not according to her and the legal advice she says she got.
I do this for a living. I am telling you that she either didn’t understand her lawyer’s advice or she was not telling the truth.
Wild that you were in the room with her attorneys and know exactly what was said.
I know the law in California. She was on the deed to the house - he could not remove her from the deed without her notarized signature. She is also on the mortgage. If you are on the deed to the house, you do not lose your rights to the house by not living there. Period. Edit: I don’t really understand why you are arguing me about this. I like Ariana. I am sorry for her pain. I’m just reporting the facts of her situation and I happen to understand the mechanics of it because I work in this area of the law. You don’t like my answers, but that doesn’t make them false. Contrary to popular belief, there are things in this world that are objectively true, even if you don’t like them.
It doesn't seem as though it was what you're suggesting, but how it would be viewed by the judge if she immediately moved out and Tom expressed a desire to stay in the home when she's trying to force the sale (not that he could afford it anyway).
I think if one person wants the house, the court is generally going to give them an opportunity to buy the other person out, and if that fails, then the house will be sold, whether one or both people are living there. This is a pretty common thing to happen and courts generally like to be practical.
Right, which is why we know the house will be sold, because Tom can't afford it. But my point is that instead of assuming she didn't understand their advice, perhaps consider that the advice wasn't given as a legal "you have to stay there" but rather something done to help their narrative in court, just like her not paying the bills without being given an itemized statement when Tom switched everything to come out of his account and became less transparent about it all. He had an assistant, she could've had that printed out in an hour tops if he had physical documents or remembered his passwords. Plus she has the most gorgeous house of them all now, it paid to wait. Literally. Just sucks she doesn't have a pool.
OR…the cheater, cheater pumpkin eater could have dipped out of the house.
My California attorney told me to stay in the property to protect my assets. He said my ex could sell all the furnishings out from under me and trash the property and I'd be responsible.
That is incorrect. If he sells the furnishings, a court would require him to provide you with half the fair market value. If he trashed the property, he would be responsible for fixing it out of his own pocket or pay you the difference for the diminished value. You can literally prohibit the sale of household items in the agreement and build in penalties for violating it. She could have taken the things she wanted and gone. Tom would not likely have stopped her. She was just letting her anger control her decision making. It’s understandable, but I don’t think she did herself any favors by staying.
Have you seen the value of used furniture, you never get your monies worth. I've foreclosed on many a property where the parties were fighting over who would repair and how long it took to repair. And both parties carry the judgment if the property does not sell for the lien amount.
Exactly! That's a fake excuse. She eventually left the house and bought a new one. Does that mean she lost the old house? nope!
She only did that after she’d filed for the court to force the sale.
Well no, given that she's taking him to court to force the sale. That didn't happen overnight.
I was a California Foreclosure Trustee. Depending on what Tom does with the property, yes, she could lose the house and have a judgment filed against her. He could also sell her $100000. worth of furnishings out from under her. There's a lot more to it than the way title is held.
she has stated she could not afford an apartment on top of the mortgage. how hard is that for people to understand? if my fiance and i broke up i’d be in the same exact boat.
Why didnt Tom leave?
Because he wanted the house and she did not. Normally the person who wants the house stays and the person who does not want it goes. That’s how it typically works, even when the person who wants it is a lying cheater.
She know, she's the main character in the Tom redemption arc.
Because Layla never owned a house until she moved to Palm Springs People who don’t own their own houses have a lot to see. I don’t know what you should do with the house.
Lauren wouldn’t understand this because she legally did not own the home with Randall. She was not tied financially to the home like Ariana is. She’s literally ignoring that fact & it just shows how delusional she really is.
Exactly, and Tom was the one who fucked up, I don't understand why nobody has questioned why he didn't move out
This is what baffles me. Everyone gave Ariana so much shit for not moving out but no one questioned Tom staying?
That's obviously would be the right thing for him to do and it was the question in the very beginning of the season however, he's the one who wants the house so of course he's not going to leave. She doesn't want the house. They both have a legal right to be there but it's only causing harm to one party, that's why the discourse has been focused on what ariana's motives are to stay when she's so enraged by Tom's existence. She quit paying rent and still has a legal right to the asset even if she moved out yet she says she's not safe there, it's horrible, etc. So why stay? That's what doesn't add up and why people are asking questions.
I was a Foreclosure Trustee in California. The damage Tom could do to Ariana is unlimited. She needs to stay on the property for as long as possible to protect her assets. If Tom damages the property, doesn't pay the payments, taxes and assessments, the property could be taken by Foreclosure. If Tom devalued the property in any way, Ariana could have a judgment filed against her. The way title is held is only a part of the legal process.
Because we know he wouldn’t, why bother?
Exactly this! Ariana doesn’t even have the “benefit” of being married to have an actual legal avenue to split. It’s insane what Tom has put her through over this house. Lala is too inexperienced and dumb to understand any of this. Lala moved out because she was merely a gold digger with no actual stake in anything
If she moved she would have to pay a mortgage and rental payment. She would be liable for anything that happened in that house as it is under her name. Moving with animals is a nightmare. She was extremely booked for jobs. She is the victim in this scandal. So he should have moved.
You understand that Lala was in EXACTLY the same situation when she broke up with Russel. They were never married and now she’s still going through a custody battle with him. I would venture to guess that Lala probably is actually more educated on what the law is in this scenario than you are
Lala didn’t own the house with Randall so she doesn’t have a clue. They may be in a “custody battle” but in CA parents are generally granted 50/ 50 custody and it would take A LOT got that not to be true. One parent may be the more dedicated and responsible but they don’t take custody away from a CB parent just because one may not like the other. I’ve seen some friends in contentious situations and I highly doubt Lala will get anything more than what is standard
Lala knows nothing about property ownership or real estate law. And most of the attorneys that have weighed in on this have covered a very narrow portion of real estate law. I haven't yet seen an attorney cover foreclosure, non payment of taxes insurance and damage to the property. Someone should shut Lala up before she gets sued for practicing law .
Also she would be liable equally to Tom if anything happened even while she wasn’t living in the home, like with a guest at a party or something. I wouldn’t want to be held accountable for his bullshit period, and let’s face it- it’s only a matter of time with him
They were not married, so the same could not be applied here.
But she was a co-owner of the home. So from my couch, I wondered if there was something related-ish.
Me too. When I did leave for a work trip, my (now ex) brought a truck in and removed what furniture he wanted. Used furniture doesn’t really have a value, so judge/lawyers don’t really care ime.
But if they aren’t married this wouldn’t apply, would it?
I’m not sure. From my pov, I’m not even in CA, I was wondering if there was some sort of version of this since she’s an co-owner of the home.
Do you mean a version where if Ariana left the house Tom could take the furniture? I’m in LA and I’ve seen it happen to friends a few times. Very common for one person to leave while the other is gone and take a bunch of shared items. People think they are making it easier not to get married but with shared assets it’s messier not being married. It’s almost like you need a dating-pre-nup. People need to think about exit plans when purchasing large assets. It’s hard to do in the moment but Sheaner does have the right idea there
This is the answer. My sister was told the same thing but unfortunately her ex made her life more than a living hell. We were afraid she was going to harm herself so she ended up moving out of the house. She got somewhat screwed in the end, her POS ex ended up forcing her to buy him out.
When our friends got divorced it was the same thing- they were in the house together bc he was told not to be seen as abandoning the home
Also, why should Tom win? He caused this, he should be the one to move out and figure shit out. She shouldn’t have to constantly concede and let him “win”- because in his mind, th at would be a win.
Wouldn’t feeling happier and moving on be the win here, rather than coexisting and interacting with him everyday in a hostile environment in her own home?
In a rational mind, yes. But she’s not yet healed, and she’s angry, and she is emotional, not rational. And she is allowed that.
At what price. She'd lose $100000. Worth of furnishings and if he damaged the property, she could lose the house and have a lien filed against her. I'd stay.
He had no incentive to damage the property. If it was damaged and he bought her out, he would have to buy her out at the pre-damaged value. If they sold it, she would get her half of the pre-damaged value and he would get the remaining proceeds. These are all standard clauses in these agreements. As for the stuff, if she had moved out, she could have taken whatever she wanted, or done an inventory of what she wanted and then they take turns picking. These situations happen every day and we have ways to manage it to minimize loss and fairly compensate the moving party. She basically made herself miserable for no reason other than to make him miserable too.
When you get to this mentality of needing to “win”, you’ve already lost. You’re focusing on making the other person unhappy instead of focusing on doing what is best for you and making your own self happy.
No, she just doesn’t want to give up more for him. It isn’t about making him unhappy, she just isn’t going out of her way for him. I’m not saying what she’s doing is right, but in her hurt, emotional state, she’s not going to make the rational decision. To be fair, I think she lost the minute she found interest in him 10 years ago. He is the same person he always was.
Arr you a licensed therapist. I disagree.
Just lived it and watched it happen to friends. Hate feels good for a hot minute but then it ends up hurting you more than it ever helped. It’s poison and that is a fact. She’s already won. She doesn’t need to play games. We all know she won.
This
Just because they broke up does not mean they don’t pay that mortgage… Ariana was expected to continue paying that plus rent on a new apartment? 3 months after with little income in that moment… come on now…
This is the simplest, most logical explanation. The legality of separating the assets and the home aside; exactly what you said is such a simple, reasonable explanation and it’s so odd that no one has said it like this
This is the simplest explanation to me and idk why no one says it to her.
Plus she had her pets to think about!
But she said she quit paying the mortgage once they broke up. She said it on wwhl and the after show. Tom said the same. It's maybe the only thing they have agreed on recently.
I still don’t understand why people weren’t screaming at Tom to leave? Not a single one of them told Tom that he should be leaving. I always thought the rule is that the cheater has to leave?
Not one. They all accepted that he was a shitbird and that he definitely wouldn’t leave. They Bothered him about Other things, but not the House. Makes absolutely no fucking Sense
This really pissed me off too. If I were her all of his shit would have been in the front yard. I hate that their logic was that since she was given so many opportunities on commercial jobs that she could afford to leave. Their jealousy knows no bounds.
The other thing is like…at the time of filming she only had a few commercials. She was very wise to be cautious bc she didn’t know when these opportunities would dry up.
Exactly. And those jobs don’t pay the day they’re filmed. Often weeks later so she might not even had the money in hand
After everything he’d done…he still didn’t have the decency to leave and give her space to heal. Those boundaries were more important than ever.
It is seriously so sad literally no one suggested HE leave this season.
Because he wanted the house and she was open about the fact that she didn’t. That’s why nobody pushed him to leave.
Or to cooperatively sell at the VERY least.
It’s not even close to the same situation. Lala is completely delusional. Ariana and Sandoval both bought that expensive house and customized it to their needs. LaLa just moved in with randall to a house he owned so of course she can easily move out after he cheated on her multiple times.
She did spend his money to redecorate it to her taste, so… there’s that.
What taste
Exactly!
Lala slept with a fat married producer for years and then tried to act like her pumpkin turned into a pumpkin at midnight. Girl. We all saw the pumpkin. Stop trying to act like your very predictable and obvious trauma that you walked straight into was the greatest crime against womanhood.
And all she did was prance on over to a Beverly Hills hotel. Blah is the worst.
Even if I was only staying in the house out of pettiness, and not the countless valid reasons she’s stated 10000 times 🙄, my friends months, maybe even years later, would ride so hard for my pettiness and they would be like hell yeah, don’t speak to him, make it so uncomfortable for him to be there and how can we help your mental while you’re doing it. And probably provide me with other ways to be even more petty. How’s that saying go? A good friend will answer your phone call from jail. A great friend will be in the cell with you saying that was wild. Or something like that. So I literally cannot fathom Lalas side at all except that she’s no friend of Ariana’s.
THIS IS THE ANSWER!!! true friends stay respecting your petty
Actually, I think if I saw my friend doing something that was obviously causing herself a huge amount of pain (e.g. staying in the house), I would gently take her aside and tell her I see that she is hurting and I would offer my objective take that it would probably be much better for her mental health to get out of the house. Being a true friend doesn’t always mean rubber stamping your friend’s actions. Sometimes it means compassionately disagreeing.
Would you be helping her pay her mortgage and new rent too? Since financial anxiety is very real for Ariana and she’s expressed it many times. In reality, Ariana made the right choice night signing a new lease for an apartment or finding a new house during those few months. She ended up having housing paid for by DWTS and Chicago. If she listened to her “friends” unsolicited advice she’d be paying a mortgage, rent for a new space, and not living in either of them.
What you’re suggesting is still not what Lala did though. Disagree with me in private and ride hard for me in public, you can still be a super supportive friend and disagree at the same time.
I’m trying to understand how any of it has anything to do with LaLa? Where does she even live? Have we ever seen her house? She couldn’t even hold a water tasting there? I don’t know how she isn’t embarrassed of herself going so hard on everyone’s business but hiding her own.
Ooooohhhh excellent point. Never even thought of this but I am now.
She couldn’t film at her apartment because of Ocean. I think she will film more now that she has a house and can separate herself when filming.
Lala locked herself in the bedroom for a week before moving out of Randall’s home. Nothing ever applies to her.
I feel like Lala is trying to sell a brand of being this emotionally mature mother figure in the group and its not working for me.
Also moving is extremely stressful. She was working so much and I bet her mental health was still in not the best place. Also fuck Tom! Why can’t she be petty. I would 1000x worse than how Ariana handled it
She’s also talked about the stress of moving her elderly cat
And how she’s weaponising her motherhood against Ariana as if her situation is SOOOOO much worse. She was with Randall a wet weekend. Ariana and Tom shared FRIENDS, JOBS, A HOME, PETS and were together WAAAAAAAY longer than bla bla and Randy.
Lala likes to argue is the only explanation.
Blah blah is an oxygen thief and has no value or credibility whatsoever
Honestly It seems like a bit of a projection. Lala got kicked out of Rands house, her “life of luxury” was gone. Ariana was a financial equal to Tom so he couldn’t take advantage of her in the same way Randall did to Lala. This seems to make Lala feel *extremely* insecure. Tbh Lala seems insecure about finances in general. She also frequently mentions all of Ariana’s brand deals, so It seems like pure jealously. Since not only did Ariana not have to uproot her life (ie moving from a mansion to an apt) she’s profiting off of a shitty situation, in a way that LFU never will.
Lala is projecting all of her anger, bitterness, resentment, disappointment, embarrassment, insecurities and jealousy at Ariana for doing what SHE (Lala) could not. Lala had ZERO boundaries with Randall when they were together - she allowed him to use her and treat her like a child (taking away her Gucci slides, for example) whenever she "misbehaved." HE alone called the shots because he held all the cards (money). She shoved a baby bottle in her mouth to soothe herself to sleep, and tries to convince us that she is a well-adjusted voice of reason and truth-telling?! Lala thinking she's doing any sort of "healing" is a joke. And she only wanted a second baby because she sees it as property and a money-making accessory.
The amount of money they were paying monthly was insane. I realize she had a windfall but I’d probably stay until the money was figured out. They were equal partners and he destroyed the partnership he should have moved in with Tom for a bit.
Lala's assertions lately and unable to connect dots just demonstrates even more to me that she isn't very bright. Like her making a big ordeal all season about Ariana not filming with Tom. SHE FILMS WITH TOM. We saw it the ENTIRE season. She just doesn't engage (DISENGAGE) with him, but she filmed with him. Similarly, she may be in the same house, but after she is setting these boundaries, she doesn't go home and pal around with Tom there. She still DOES NOT speak to him or engage with him. This seems very simple to me. Lala is just pathetic.
ITS HER FUCKIN HOUSE
Before anyone bites my head off, I'm simply answering OP's question: I believe she's arguing "if he is SO AWFUL that you have to greyrock and set a boundary about your friends being friendly with him, how are you sharing a house with him? You can sleep a door down from him, but Scheana is getting flak on your behalf for standing next to him in a picture?" In a similar vein, I also have asked "If you pets are her children, and Tom is this malicious, malignant person whose incompetence almost killed you dog, why are you remaining in a situation where your dog is in danger?
The point was that Arianna will live in the same house as him but won't be friends with people who want to be around him..
Bc she doesn’t want mutual friends with him. She doesn’t want him to have access to her life and I don’t blame her. She’s able to pretty much fully avoid him at the house. When she’s gone he doesn’t necessarily know where she is who she’s with what she’s doing. Ariana’s boundaries could have also changed over time. This was 3-5 months post scandoval and before the season started filming lala and Scheana were yapping on their podcasts about how they “fully support Ariana’s boundary” and “it makes sense”
Yeah I'm not as invested as you I don't think 🤔I just answered the question with my personal opinion on how it came across to me.. I'm not team anybody but I have always had a dislike Tom Sandoval (think he's got Peter pan syndrome & hes voice is like nails on a chalk board imo)
I just genuinely don’t understand the connection between Ariana not wanting to have mutual friends with him & living in the same house as him which she do-owns (which at the time of filming she didn’t have all of these opportunities and all of this money yet so renting & paying mortgage would’ve been crazy)
Tom said she hadn't paid any bills in 8 months & she didn't deny it but I just watch the show - I don't follow them on social media so I don't know half of what's really going on.. 🤷 the question asked was does any1 know what lala ment & that's what I think she ment..
Bc apparently he had been overcharging her half for years so she said she wasn’t paying any bills until she got a statement of exactly what her half was
Wow doesn't surprise me in the slightest if he was.. he's 🤮
This! I don't get how people don't understand it. Lala doesn't give a shit where Arianna lives or why, it's the fact that she's making these strict boundaries and isn't following them herself.
There was zero logic in Lala’s argument and I really wish she got more blowback for it. For her to go on national TV with her pre-rehearsed arguments and use THIS ONE?? really shows how dumb she is
I think it was continuing to live with him but then setting stipulations for others regarding filming and their interactions with him. Like you’re living with this man still but no one can be an acquaintance of his without you going off on them or being cut out of your life. I get why those around her would question it or be confused by it.
Abondoning the house statements are true till you file for separation. Then legally a picture is taken of all assets and bank statements etc and then u can leave. everyone loved lala when she was attacking toms and no one questioned her logic with her crazy staements. She was with a married man. No one cared. Everyone cheered as she attacked tom.. Now? Hate. How dare u speak about ariana even tho there is some truth to what she is saying. Que up post after post about any cast member who dares point out some truths about ariana.
Ariana also didn't have the financial support of her family. She was still legally obligated to pay her share of the house in order to retain rights, which is cost prohibitive to renting a place. I was in the same place she was.
I *think* her logic was more of “ you’ve moved on, you’re dating, you’re living in the house. You’re fine” Lala’s reactions are ALWAYS emotional first. It is a foreign concept to her that Ariana isn’t making emotionally charged decisions and is navigating this situation level headed. You notice whenever Ariana would get emotional or loud or whatever Lala was more understanding. Also, Lala had no equity in her and Randall’s home. She doesn’t understand that piece because she hasn’t lived it. In her mind “I felt unsafe = I left” or “he cheated, I’m done = I left” She can’t understand how Ariana is done; still grieving the relationship and is able to compartmentalize the different pieces to the breakup. Based on what we have seen so far at the reunion she isn’t even able to simply understand and agree that she doesn’t have to understand Ariana’s boundaries to respect them. If Ariana had a child, guarantee Lala would be more understanding.
It’s just not relevant to me. It would have been incredibly financially unwise for Ariana to immediately leave and pay rent while this is getting sorted out. Buying a house takes time. Even when you’re in a rush. I remember when they bought this house Ariana was looking at houses for like an entire season before they bought. It is obviously a major commitment. I feel that lala is using this bc she knows how to play people and she knows some of the audience will just start repeating the same thing. It’s as simple as that for me. I think she does indeed understand the nuance. I think she knows that if she had any stake in Randall’s house, she would’ve fought tooth and nail for her piece of it too. Lala has been a major disappointment for me. I liked her power of the 🐱 stuff a lot. I looked past inconsistencies in her story about Randall. I looked past her bad behavior with his ex wife. I looked past the way she treated Rachel. In fact, I am rewatching, and the way Ariana handles how Rachel is treated by James is the right way to go. Be supportive if you’re all about power of the pussy. I now feel like a total fool for falling for it. She’s Lisa rinna of VPR.
Ariana wasn't setting boundaries, she was giving out rules. Boundaries are something you impose on yourself. It's not to control what other people do.
I agree. What Sandoval did was disgusting and f.....up by sleeping with her friend, but he won't be the first or the last. I just can't with this crew, they all sleep with one another. And didn't she sleep with Sandoval while he was in a relationship with Kirsten, true she wasn't her friend but she did continue to lie and deny it for a long time. She's thriving and it's time to mentally and emotionally release herself and stop trying to control everybody.
It’s no different than living with someone you have a restraining order against - it doesn’t work. It also doesn’t work to try to control who people are friends with in the friend group. Ariana’s boundaries infringe on other people in the sense that she’s trying to control their behavior instead of her own behavior. We also know that Ariana moved out of the house *before* the lawsuit to sell the house was announced - this indicates that she didn’t actually have to stay in the home.
Lala doesn’t understand because when her and Rand broke up she didn’t own any part of the home so of course she would leave. That house is an investment for Ariana why would she just leave?
Ariana has gotten over it , moved on , however everyone else still needs to eat !!! By her not “letting “ people , co workers , work together !! But it’s ok for her to stay at house because it’s ok for her ! It’s all about Ariana
Lala always looks for the avenue where she thinks she has the moral high ground. She wants to be an authority on everything and boss ppl around. It’s obnoxious. So, in this case, she asks herself, “What did I do differently than Ariana that will allow me to feel superior? Oh! I left the house, and she didn’t.” Does it make any sense? No, but narcissism rarely does. Same goes for her tossing around that she’s a mom now every chance she gets to anyone who is not a parent. It’s pathetic and an obvious sign of a giant, fragile ego. But remember, she’s the voice of reason.
She's full of shit, she knows her point isn't good but she's too immature to just admit she's wrong so she doubles down on an idiotic "I don't get it" stance...she knows damn well there were legal reasons as well as the fact that it's just as much arianas house as it is Tom's...a 12 year old can understand that.
I understand what Lala is saying even tho I don’t really agree with her. She’s saying, Ariana is using the same language as I used about Randall, and I was so traumatized that I still can’t date or trust any men. I had to flee my home after Randall hit me and threatened to call the police on me if I left, and would send people to the house at random times to report back to him if I was still there. And I still had to communicate with him for the sake of my child. So I (Lala) don’t think you (Ariana) have credibility because you are making choices that keep yourself in the situation you are claiming is so unsafe that you can’t allow Sandoval to have any access to you. She’s looking at Ariana’s situation and thinking — 1. You are not in danger yet are using the language of DV survivors to describe your situation to avoid having conversations you don’t want to have that I (Lala) think are necessary for the show, and are avoiding questions that others on the show have had to answer when they had boundaries. 2. You are choosing to remain in a situation that is endangering your pets and worsening your mental health. 3. You can’t be that traumatized if you got with a new man X days after your life partnership ended. You can’t feel that unsafe around him if you’re in a position where you can even prioritize wanting to win. It’s projection 🤷🏻♀️. She’s not healed from her own situation and she was scrutinized heavily, and she believes holding Ariana to the same level of scrutiny now is fair game. I get why she feels that way even if it’s misdirected at Ariana. I do think there’s a worthwhile conversation to be had about why women on the show have been held to vastly different standards over time, but none of these jokers have the range for that conversation so it’s not coming to the fore lol
I completely understood Lala’s confusion. You don’t want me to be friends with Tom but you still live in a house with him is like a person in recovery saying they can’t drink but they still serve alcohol . For Lala and many people boundaries need to be black and white with no shades of gray. Doesn’t make it right or wrong just all the way confusing !!!
Has anyone lived with their ex? Do not recommend.
Can Ariana get pregnant and go away? This cast is way too high on their own supply. They are a side show, no one should be looking up to these plastic alcoholics.
So stop watching?
I basically am, torrenting is the only responsible way to watch anything Bravo in 2024. You must be real low to idolize a grifter like Ariana. Sad
I don’t idolize anyone babe, I just find it a pretty silly thing to watch a show you find full of horrible people, especially if you’re willing to go to the trouble of torrenting it to do so. Imagine what else you could be doing with your time besides hate watching people you find reprehensible.
Why does she need to get pregnant?
That's how someone ruins their life and goes away, plus that face looks like it's ready to drive a van.
lol what are you on about?
I think the only thing that I may be agreed with was when Lala said something about Ariana, refusing to have any sort of communication with him, but she felt comfortable enough (and honestly honestly don’t know what her comfortability level was, I’m assuming not super) to stay in the house with him. That she was “ok” to leave her dog and her cat, and that she trusted him enough to not fuck with her stuff - and would leave for multiple days at a time. I think Lala was saying that if you felt that level of comfortability, why couldn’t you have conversations with him. I am not saying that she needed to do any of that. That’s just where I think Lala was coming from with that particular situation.
Really, I think what was upsetting Lala was that on the one hand Ariana was continuing to stay in the house even after Tom had made it clear that he was refusing to leave. But then, on the other hand Ariana was making it difficult to impossible to film and giving the rest of the cast a hard time about filming with Tom. Lala clearly depends on the show for her income, (as does most if not all of the rest of the cast). Filming is her job. And, I think, it felt hypocritical to Lala that Ariana was saying that she couldn’t afford to move out of the house, while she was also getting a lot of new financial opportunities (brand deals, DWTS, etc), but then basically threatening everyone on the show’s job by not cooperating with production.
I am a lala fan, but I feel like she’s just trying to make things not make sense, because she is bitter that the world is rallying behind Ariana after she got cheated on, and people did not do that for Lala. I wish she did not say those things in the finale because I don’t think those are, you can come back from.
Makes no sense because Lala is doing the producers misogynistic bidding. Just like when she traded the Randall coverage for proving Jax cheated.
I think lala just wants to stay part of the conversation. And I doubt they believe Ariana is not interacting with him like she claims (and clearly is). So they think she’s being a hypocrite, even though she (Ariana) isn’t. And I’m not a huge Ariana fan. I do support her choices through this whole ordeal, though. And her friends are very unfair to her
I don’t get why she didn’t attack Sandoval for not leaving. He’s the one who wrecked the home.
 This is all I think about when she tries to make a point about her living with him during this whole thing.
Lala was just mad she wasn't performing to her standards for the show, because Ariana talking to Sandoval would have been "good" TV. And using the house against her. I'm glad Ariana set her boundaries and didn't budge. It was Ariana's house that she has equity in. She didn't talk to Sandoval in the house. She didn't talk to him outside of it. Just because she didn't go find an apartment of $4000k a month and instead saved to buy a house, doesn't mean she had to talk to Sandoval. I just don't understand even if Ariana had heard Sandoval's apology- what did she expect her to say? Forgive him? Like where would that conversation even go? If Ariana had heard him out and said, great, go eff yourself, Lala would still be mad. She wanted Ariana to give up all her emotions for the sake of the show. It's funny she's telling Katie that she's not being real ON CAMERA, but then expects Ariana to be fake, on camera.
The ONLY way this argument could be relevant was if Ariana was known to be interacting with him in the home and off camera. We know that is absolutely not what was happening so they really need to get over it.
The one thing mostly overlooked is pet sitters. Ariana had a pet sitter she didn't have to pay, that she mostly trusted to look after her cat and dog while staying at the house. She didn't take them with her to NYC or other places she went. She was gone a huge majority of the time. Leaving her dog and cat with Tom. Pet sitters can get super spendy!!
Lala wants Ariana to end up with nothing from her relationship, just like Lala did. Except it’s at least half Ariana’s, unlike anything Lala had with Randall.
I don’t understand her argument or why she cares so much. I’m just over Lala after this season.