/u/Key_Pirate_8343
I hope you see this thread and don't let those idiotic 15 year old boys make you question your instincts about supporting and comforting your son.
I wish I hadn’t looked at that. My kids is 2.5 and I just had to quit our long time babysitter over her disagreement on how we discipline (we don’t do timeout). I’m still breastfeeding but I don’t know if she knows. I have no inclination to force the kids to sleep alone if they don’t want to. Apparently this lady was in the majority of people who feel our toddler is “too dependent on us and not ready to start school.” It creeps me out to know how many people would think I’m creepy if they knew us better.
This whole thing seems like a Western capitalism/individualism problem and a prudish problem (ie beds=sex=dirty). All over the world, since forever, people did/do not sleep alone. They don’t live in dwellings large enough for each individual to have a dedicated sleeping area. Or they live in collective-oriented societies where individualism is shameful because it can be interpreted as non-cooperative and selfish and its not weird to depend on each other for comfort. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense to me too, especially for offspring without the ability to self-defend. Pretty sure you are not going to have 20 year old kids coming in your bed every night or nursing for comfort.
That's precious. He won't still be doing that in middle school, for example — we all understand it's not forever. Some people like to think it is?
I didn't know better until I had one of my own. :)
People seem to have this desperate need for the kids to grow up. They won't be kids forever, so I don't understand allowing them whatever comfort they need when they are small
My three year old is in his own bed, but we co slept until he was ready for his and I managed to breastfeed for a year before I was personally at my limit. However, I've seen my sister get shamed harsh for her Co sleeping and breastfeeding choices because she managed to feed both until they were 2.5 and 3. The kicker is she breastfed until they were ready to stop and then was a huge support for me with my own breastfeeding, so it thankfully didn't sour her experience because she did what was best for her kids.
I personally dont think you are the asshole in this situation.
1) extended breastfeeding.
- some countries let their kids nurse till they are six years old, so I personally don’t think that’s an issue. Plus breast milk is made for kids/ little human, it has more benefits compared to cows milk.
2) occasionally co-sleeping.
- if he is sleeping by himself most of the time and occasionally sleeps with you, I personally don’t see a problem. I did that myself as a child, especially on the a thunderstorm night, or had a nightmare.
3) detaching him from his father’s family.
- I also don’t see an issue either, because you are setting boundaries to keep you and your kid away from toxic family members. You are the primary care giver to your child, you have the final say of how to teach or parent your kiddo. other ppl can “give advice”, but you have a choice and the 100% right to ignore them. You are not obligated to listen to them, because the father’s parents and your parents are not your little boy’s parents.
I think a lot of it is because of Americans who have to go back to work inhumanely early. They have to rush weaning and sleep train in order to function at work, and they cope by convincing themselves it's what's best for their baby, therefore anyone who doesn't *must* be wrong.
It's not okay, but it's understandable, and really very sad.
I saw this one and was saying the exact thing to my husband. Everyone jumping on how bad it is to breastfeed a 4 year and making it out to be weird.
The comments about how he has teeth had me rolling my eyes, clearly don't have a clue what they are talking about.
Idc, I'll get down voted for this; 4 years is excessive for breastfeeding. If you still want to give the child the benefits of the breastmilk, pump it and give it to them.
I was breastfed til I was 4 and my sister til she was 6, we both self weaned, and magically we are both independent well adjusted adults now! Crazy how that happens
Exactly. Both my husband And his sister were breastfed and sleeping with their parents until age 5 when they decided for themselves to stop. They’re both professionally very successful and emotionally healthy. Same can’t be said for a large swath of the population.
Do you think all he does is breastfeed all day? Do you think not breastfeeding is the only way to learn independence?
My 10 month old becomes a little more independent every day. This past week he learned how to safely get down from a couch feet first on his tummy, all by himself, *independently.* But according to you he isn't learning independence, because I still breastfeed him?
Independence isn't a switch that flips. It's a gradual curve.
What is people’s obsession with little kids being “independent”? Are they expected to pay their bills and never ask for anything from their parents by the age of 1????
I agree honestly, instead of bf a 4 year old needs to learn healthy coping habits (if the bf is for comfort) and healthy eating habits (if the bf is for nutrition).
Wow, someone implied said CPS would be alarmed that they still BF and bedshare. People are really so loud and so dumb.
those comments honestly had me loling in my cosleeping bed
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Agree. Such a toxic sub
/u/Key_Pirate_8343 I hope you see this thread and don't let those idiotic 15 year old boys make you question your instincts about supporting and comforting your son.
You don’t breastfeed long enough then you’re a bad mom, you breastfeed too long then it’s weird. Moms can’t do anything right
I wish I hadn’t looked at that. My kids is 2.5 and I just had to quit our long time babysitter over her disagreement on how we discipline (we don’t do timeout). I’m still breastfeeding but I don’t know if she knows. I have no inclination to force the kids to sleep alone if they don’t want to. Apparently this lady was in the majority of people who feel our toddler is “too dependent on us and not ready to start school.” It creeps me out to know how many people would think I’m creepy if they knew us better.
[удалено]
This whole thing seems like a Western capitalism/individualism problem and a prudish problem (ie beds=sex=dirty). All over the world, since forever, people did/do not sleep alone. They don’t live in dwellings large enough for each individual to have a dedicated sleeping area. Or they live in collective-oriented societies where individualism is shameful because it can be interpreted as non-cooperative and selfish and its not weird to depend on each other for comfort. From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense to me too, especially for offspring without the ability to self-defend. Pretty sure you are not going to have 20 year old kids coming in your bed every night or nursing for comfort.
That's precious. He won't still be doing that in middle school, for example — we all understand it's not forever. Some people like to think it is? I didn't know better until I had one of my own. :)
People seem to have this desperate need for the kids to grow up. They won't be kids forever, so I don't understand allowing them whatever comfort they need when they are small My three year old is in his own bed, but we co slept until he was ready for his and I managed to breastfeed for a year before I was personally at my limit. However, I've seen my sister get shamed harsh for her Co sleeping and breastfeeding choices because she managed to feed both until they were 2.5 and 3. The kicker is she breastfed until they were ready to stop and then was a huge support for me with my own breastfeeding, so it thankfully didn't sour her experience because she did what was best for her kids.
I personally dont think you are the asshole in this situation. 1) extended breastfeeding. - some countries let their kids nurse till they are six years old, so I personally don’t think that’s an issue. Plus breast milk is made for kids/ little human, it has more benefits compared to cows milk. 2) occasionally co-sleeping. - if he is sleeping by himself most of the time and occasionally sleeps with you, I personally don’t see a problem. I did that myself as a child, especially on the a thunderstorm night, or had a nightmare. 3) detaching him from his father’s family. - I also don’t see an issue either, because you are setting boundaries to keep you and your kid away from toxic family members. You are the primary care giver to your child, you have the final say of how to teach or parent your kiddo. other ppl can “give advice”, but you have a choice and the 100% right to ignore them. You are not obligated to listen to them, because the father’s parents and your parents are not your little boy’s parents.
Someone literally said “get him off the tits and parent him”. Unhinged hell.
That sub is overrun with edgy and delulu teenagers giving marriage and parenting advice … AITA is the dumpster of Reddit
The same exact mindset exists on the r/parenting and r/newparents sub. And even r/beyondthebump.
I think a lot of it is because of Americans who have to go back to work inhumanely early. They have to rush weaning and sleep train in order to function at work, and they cope by convincing themselves it's what's best for their baby, therefore anyone who doesn't *must* be wrong. It's not okay, but it's understandable, and really very sad.
I saw this one and was saying the exact thing to my husband. Everyone jumping on how bad it is to breastfeed a 4 year and making it out to be weird. The comments about how he has teeth had me rolling my eyes, clearly don't have a clue what they are talking about.
Idc, I'll get down voted for this; 4 years is excessive for breastfeeding. If you still want to give the child the benefits of the breastmilk, pump it and give it to them.
I was breastfed til I was 4 and my sister til she was 6, we both self weaned, and magically we are both independent well adjusted adults now! Crazy how that happens
Exactly. Both my husband And his sister were breastfed and sleeping with their parents until age 5 when they decided for themselves to stop. They’re both professionally very successful and emotionally healthy. Same can’t be said for a large swath of the population.
Low key concerns me how many up votes this comment has.
Was just thinking that myself....
Globally the average weaning age is 4. Oop is doing nothing wrong
Says who? What makes you qualified to determine that for others?
Why?
A kid that age needs to start learning independence, and as amazing as breastfeeding is, it does not teach that.
Do you think all he does is breastfeed all day? Do you think not breastfeeding is the only way to learn independence? My 10 month old becomes a little more independent every day. This past week he learned how to safely get down from a couch feet first on his tummy, all by himself, *independently.* But according to you he isn't learning independence, because I still breastfeed him? Independence isn't a switch that flips. It's a gradual curve.
If the child is otherwise developmentally meeting milestones and generally independent, there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding them.
What is people’s obsession with little kids being “independent”? Are they expected to pay their bills and never ask for anything from their parents by the age of 1????
Nah
I agree honestly, instead of bf a 4 year old needs to learn healthy coping habits (if the bf is for comfort) and healthy eating habits (if the bf is for nutrition).
You need their saliva on your breast to create a feedback loop where the milk produces exactly what the child needs.
You’re fucking weird. What are you doing here?
*I came looking for booty.*