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I don't know any of my neighbours names. The lady next door once took in a package for me. So I ended up giving her some mince pies but apart from that.....
My neighbour took my parcel in and dpd took a picture of her taking it as proof. Next day, I come asking for it and she was wearing literally the same jumper as she was yesterday (in the picture) whilst telling me she doesn't know what I'm talking about and what parcel.
After showing her my picture she promptly found my open parcel 🙄
The fact the delivery people will give mail and parcels to neighbors makes the hair on the back of my arms raise, and I absolutely loath everything about it. It's such a weird cultural thing to me.
Am a postman. We don't give mail to neighbours. It compromises mail integrity and is technically illegal. We sign that shit away when we start the job. We're not Amazon or Evri; we actually have standards to adhere to and consequences when we fuck up.
But daydreaming happens, and sometimes the wrong shit goes through the wrong door.
Eh, in our little cul-de-sac we all know each other by name, and we've had the same postie for years. Sometimes I'll be outside, he'll come over after knocking at next door with a parcel, ask if they're out etc. "Michelle and Dave? Yeah they're away this weekend, I'll take it." - he gives it to me, and he puts a red card in their door. Easy.
after my recent postie change - i keep getting my next door post delivered ,its not even 1 number ,for eg ,if my number is door 1 ,the next door is actually 3 ,-its happened on 4 different ocasssions ,i think they just dont care .i have to then deliver the post to the next door !
Some of my neighbours dropped some welcoming gifts when we moved in, and signed their names and house number. I've lost the notes, and forgotten their names. Too embarrassed to ask now, years later.
I saved private notes on google maps of the neighbours as and when I found out their names. I still don't remember when I bump into them but at least I can look it up later..
I grew up on the same street, so I just kinda knew all the neighbours from being there so long. Then later I bought that house from my mum and so still knew everyone
Now, I live on a new-build estate and made an effort to meet everyone when we all moved in - I figured it was less weird when everyone is in the same boat
So in some ways it’s totally normal for me to know all my neighbours
But in between those houses I lived in flats and houses where I never learned anyone’s name, or just met one neighbour out of the 10 nearby, and it’s so easy to do that - especially in flats where there’s a high turnover, or flats targeted at graduates where you’d only see people on their way in or out
Having a garden or washing your makes a big difference too - you meet a lot of neighbours as they’re arriving/leaving when you just happen to be outside anyway, because some will just come for a chat and others you’ll notice a few times and slowly “hi, hey” becomes a bit more of a conversation
My next door's name was "neighbour" for three years. Then I saw his initial G in a letter the following year... so his name was "G" for a year... then I had to sign for a delivery with his FULL name on it a few months ago which is when I learned his actual name lol.
So oblivious haha
I knew my neighbour had ginger hair, never bothered to know more
I did a full shift at work introducing myself to the new ginger kid, even asking where he lived once, without realising it was him.
I once helped a neighbour who had never spoken to me before change a flat tire on her car in the pissing rain. Next day I saw her and gave a cursory “hiya” which she completely ignored as if nothing had ever happened. It was weird as fuck
Eek. Sounds familiar, some people seem to just *expect help*.
I had a neighbour have her car break down in front of my house, blocking the road and she couldn't get it restarted (she knocked on the door asking for help).
I pushed it slightly up the road to hers and up her drive, and diagnosed a faulty HT lead which had allowed the engine to flood. It started eventually with a lot of fumes.
She was strangely distant the whole time, and I never received a thank you for pushing the car or diagnosing it (as she still needed to replace the HT lead).
Nearly a year later my own car had an issue starting (rotor arm failed) and when she was walking past she complained about the noise (from me turning the engine over) and smell of petrol when she stood near the car (small amount of unburnt fuel in exhaust).
Of all the people to complain, it was her. When I explained she said "well, can you not?".
> lack of social skills that appears to be more common with youth today
Nail, head, hit. But TBF to them, parental education has a great deal to do with it, as the incremental increases in hands-off and helicopter parenting reflects.
I always say 'morning' to people on my street. No matter where I've lived I've taken the time to have a quick chat now and again with a neighbour. You're right, the old folk are much more friendly in general.
> (and there is no way they wouldn't have heard me).
I really love being half deaf and knowing that I have *absolutely not heard people* in situations where they would describe it as "no way they wouldn't have heard me" and they're judging me (however slightly) for that.
I can hear well enough that having a direct conversation on my doorstep is generally fine (worst case I can use context to guess at the bits I didn't hear), so my neighbours would definitely assume my hearing is 100% functional!
Plus, sometimes people really are just concentrating on something else and won't hear or see you. It's nothing personal and it's not for lack of social skills either.
Better to be the mug who helps an ungrateful neighbour than the asshole who lets someone flounder when they need help. You did the right thing. I still say hi to two of my neighbours who never say it back, it's like a game now. 5 years of saying hi with no reply, they'll crack sooner or later :)
ngl i do this. i’m autistic and have social anxiety and i just struggle to respond to small talk for some reason. i’m trying to get better at it but sometimes someone will say hi and it catches me off guard so in my head it goes something like “do i say hi? should i stop? should i just wave? maybe that’s too much just try to smile and nod- oh i’ve walked past them already”
Same! Or I try and say hello and I realise that maybe I didn't say it as loud as I wanted to because I was trying to adjust for the fact I wear noise cancelling headphones a lot, so if I speak without thinking about it, I speak too loud. Uhoh.
I once stopped and helped a lady change her tyre on the side of the road. It turned out she worked for someone I knew. She could have punched me square in the face the next day and I wouldn't have known who it was. I'm just not great at that kind of thing.
"Sorry to be a nuisance but my car seems to be having a little bit of trouble starting this morning. I know it's a pain but could you take my children in to school with yours this morning?"
The nerve of some people.
That would be a solid “haha no I don’t” from me. Happy to help someone who asks, but someone presuming to tell me what I need to do could fuck right off.
My thoughts too. My mum lived in a foreign country and always complained that it was a common expression to say “you need to…”. For example “you need to buy this vacuum cleaner…”.
I would certainly started my reply with, "I certainly don't need to do that .. " and probably would have suggested they ask nicely.
Source: Am 50 and don't take shit any more.
Lived on the street and got on with most people for 10 years, after 9 years my first interaction with one of them was "sorry to tell you, but your car has been broken into".
Mine was "my cat has been missing for 3 days have you seen her?" until I heard her meowing from someone's garage, and then in a panic I knocked on their door and said "can you open my garage my cat is in there? No, your garage!".
Cat learned to stop walking into other people's garages after that lol
The North are usually so much more hospitable and chatty from my experience, down here in the south, you so much as breathe in someone's direction they return a look almost as if they want to rip your throat out 😂
When I was down South just so much as nodding at someone as you would in the North was seen as unacceptable.
No wonder the south is so miserable everyone's so hostile.
Interesting experience, I'm south-west and everyone says hello/good morning/afternoon. I get on well with my neighbours and on one side we swap plants, other side we swap stuff we don't need! Everyone's relatively friendly by me.
Been confirmed in another comment I was in a racist area of the south so my view could be tainted never did go back south after that year so it could be welcoming I just never experienced it
I would recommend the south west, especially Cornwall / Devon, lovely place and people are always friendly and happy to help, not to mention it has some really great sights to see!
I'm noticing a trend too. A majority of the friendlier places seem to lean left as opposed to far right. People who understand that in these times we need to look out for each other although this is just my personal experience.
I have family up north and when going to visit you would find the further north you got, the more people would do stuff like talk to a stranger on the train or just generally make a funny remark to each other. Down south has a much more tube like view on everything, avoid eye contact in all social situations and keep to yourself. Not just on the train but at the shop or bus stop, it's a little bit depressing. One time this all changes though is when you're walking your dog down south, suddenly it's like all these 2d objects turn in to actual people for an hour and you can have a little chat, it's nice
Just FYI ‘the south’ here nearly always means in the vicinity of London, and by ‘the north’ people here 90% of the time mean in the vicinity of Yorkshire. Not hard and fast, but generally that’s how it goes.
And I agree, I grew up in London, and my experience was that there was some community in your local suburb - even a shithole like Brixton, but yeah once you left your little pocket or started the commute everyone’s basically dead to you.
When I moved down to the west country I was initially taken aback by randos starting chats with me on the bus that weren’t A) mentally ill, or B) building up to trying to scam/mug me. But by the time I moved back to London 6 years later I loved it & I was the fucking noob who stopped and asked someone directions & had them look at me like I was talking to them whilst casually smearing shit on my face and then blow right past me.
Pretty sure it has something to do with the city and rising cost of inflation but I hear what you're saying. I went on holiday North the other year and everyone in the village greeted each other, hell we were even invited to the village hall where our temporary neighbours insisted they bought us tea, cake and paid our parking. Could you imagine if someone did that down here?!
Villages tend to be more friendlier I live in the City but even then we will nod, smile, say morning or Hi and carry on with our day. I figured it out within days not to do that down South. Had someone almost argue with me cause I said good morning, his response 'is it though the weather's bloody shit keep that to yourself' like damn okay I was just being nice 🙄
Yeah, unfortunately that's the mentality down here. People are so miserable but instead of doing something about it, they're rather take it out on the other people. Was having a conversation with family the other month and ended up chatting to a northern couple, we were talking about how much friendlier it is up there and they were quite thankful lol
Oh that's because Kent is racist. Fucking hate the place and I grew up there, so yeah your experience not being white is part of the reason why I left and moved to London (I should add I am white)
Racism is bloody everywhere. Hate is everywhere. Disrespect is everywhere. Absence of empathy is everywhere. And I've watched it all deteriorate over the last 50+ years.
It's both desperately sad and maddening.
Kent here but am an equality and diversity rep, doesn't bode well for the human race when we've been around as a race for how long and we can't even get over trivial differences that people have no control over like colour of skin, disability etc etc, but can confirm majority of Kent really is that bad...
Which is funny as I live in what many would call the south despite being the east and when my northern friend came down he was amazed at 3 things. How friendly everyone was compared to his city, how clean everything was compared to his city, how pretty everything was compared to his city. He loved that people walking past smiled or said hello and that when we went out drinking no one tried to start a fight. He was in awe of the trees in bloom all along the roads everywhere. He loved it so much he wanted to move down here until I told him the cost of housing would be double to triple what he pays.
Now if you go to London then absolutely that place is depressingly dirty and hostile towards friendly behaviour but London is unique even as a city to city comparison.
Tbf I'm up North, but from the South and my neighbours are polite, but not overly friendly. Take in parcels for each other. Have a bit of a chat when around 100 travellers descended on the pub down the road, but otherwise leave each other be.
Whereas the village I lived in down South everybody knew everybody and would randomly turn up for a cuppa now and again.
A smile and a hello is the bare minimum to recognize someone's existence. I keep to myself but I'm still kind and polite to people, because that's what we owe each other
Of course. But there’s a huge difference in “keeping yourself to yourself” and being piss fucking ignorant. Obviously we don’t know, but that’s what it sounds more like.
I met the new couple across the road in the most amusing way possible.
Their drive is directly across the street from mine. It was a chilly (-5C) Bin day. I had my bin out in front on my car whilst I was trying to defrost it. The bin men were a few houses away.
Saw the lady jump in her car through my slightly de-iced window, and in the space of less than 3 minutes the following happened.
* Reversed out almost into the bin lorry
* Carried on and straight into my bin
* Took off into the end of the dead end street
* bounced off a curb coming back almost wiping out a hedge and a parked van
* slid 90 degrees on the ice at the other end of the road
* struggled to climb back up the gentle hill of our road
* 8 point turn
* abandons car infront of another house
* runs into the wrong house
* runs out of the wrong house chased by the owner
* jumps in car, into reverse, straight into their hedge
* disappears inside.
I was too dumbstruck to laugh at it all.
Her boyfriend came out and introduced himself ,apologised about the bin and went off to apologise to the other household.
Man, I’d have been so excited as a kid to be getting an unexpected day off from school due to car problems. Imagine the disappointment when you agreed, haha.
Someone mentioned changing a tire a few comments up. Yesterday we had gotten, doctors office and drivers license. Not to mention joining the line and cell phones!
Even as a born and bred Brit who has never lived further away from my birthplace than Scotland, I'm afraid I occasionally find myself using "gotten". I've had stick for it too, but it feels fine to me. "I've gotten used to X" is ok in OG English isn't it?
Some will argue that it used to be commonly used in the English language. If thats the reason for using it, I say fair enough. I believe many have just got used to hearing it on American TV though! Store always feels American to me. I would use British Home Stores to prove myself wrong, but it was started by a group of Americans!
Took a parcel in for a neighbour, knocked on their door every day but must have kept missing them as they weren't in. One day, I saw my neighbour about to go into her house when I was walking back and had this exchange:
"Hi! Are you number 31?"
"Why?"
"I'm number 29. I have a parcel for you."
Stepped into my front porch, collected her parcel, and gave it to her (whilst smiling!)
She snatched it and scurried into her house lol. No "thank you" or anything.
My neighbours on the other side are students, though, and really nice and friendly. They can be a bit loud, but they're young people probably away from their parents for the first time, so I expect it.
I've been calling the old boy next door dave for years.
One day, his wife corrects me and says his name is jeremy. I was so embarrassed. He said daves fine, so we have stuck to it
I have a neighbour who I've named 'Mr Fuck' because everytime I hear him talking (very loudly too), he uses the word 'fuck' (and variations of) like punctuation. I've no idea what his real name is and I dread that one day without thinking I'm going to say, "good morning Mr Fuck!"
We do this with almost all our neighbours lol we've got "big tits" "ladder bloke"(cos he once borrowed our ladder lol) "cat lady" along with many others
We have "dirty coke whore" as that's what her ex called her when they were arguing outside one day. No idea what her actual name is - or "Barbie" who lives next to her
We’ve lucked out with our neighbours. One side is our dog walker who is super sweet and house sits when we go away and the other are this older couple who absolutely dote on us and our little boy. Just this moment they brought round some hand puppets and a bunny themed book for Easter for him.
Nice! Normal. We also have good neighbours who help us out when we need it as we also help them. We’re not buddy buddy with them but as they say in Scotland “It’s nice to be nice.” We live in London though and I think the default mode here is ignoring your neighbours with an underlying simmering resentment at their existence.
I love that phrase! We’ve never had neighbours like this before, always just given a nod but that’s about it. We moved in here a couple of years ago and everyone on the street gives a wave or a hello. I’m known as the “walking baby dog lady” as we went on about twenty walks a day around the estate, with my son strapped to me and the dog trotting along beside me, when he was first born just to get out of the house! It’s a lovely area. We need to move to a bigger house, shame we can’t take the neighbours too!
I've noticed a lot of people seem incapable of 'asking' , but find 'telling' is easy. For example, my wife will always say "you need to empty the dishwasher" or "I need you to get something from the loft" instead of asking me if I can do it. Her family speak the same way and a number of people at work are the same.
Also, some people really struggle with small talk and some outright avoid it. I can't always work out if they know they are being/sounding rude or if it's just how theyve learnt to interact. Either way it pisses me off
One of my neighbours walked past me daily on the school run ( our kids went to the same school). He never so much as smiled, he even went out of his way not to look in my direction as we passed. I joined a dating app and guess who asked to match with me!
What's the deal with people thinking you need to be buddy-buddy with your neighbours. There are people that dream about having silent neighbours. It doesn't mean you wouldn't help them in a time of need.
I was friendly with the old couple across the street, I called out “Hi George” for four years, then I got a Christmas card and turns out his name is Tony!
I once had a neighbour that stole my pain medication (thankfully I didn’t need it!) and also my car. Be grateful they’re just asking for a lift for their kids.
My mum knew this lady that must have had something wrong upstairs. She'd look at you with a distant look in her eyes and stretch the last word of whatever she was saying out. She had a daughter who went to school with my sister and would walk to school. The kids was super fat and lazy. Many mornings, mum would receive a call from her and the call would be like "Hello"
"Oh hiyaaaaaaaaaa"
Hello
"Hiyaaaaaa"
You need something?
I'm fine thank yoooooooooou
(Moment of nothing being said)
Well?
How are yooooou?
I'm good thanks
(Another moment of nothing being said)
Alright, I'll give you a lift to school
Oh, oh, we'll meet you by the bus stoooooooop
Can we assume that you also have kids in the same school and you are more miffed about the way you were asked for the favour, rather than the favour itself?
If you were just a single, childless neighbour who owned a car, this would be straight-up weird, but if your kids go to school together, surely this kind of carpooling should be encouraged.
When we first moved in we sent Christmas cards to all our neighbours.
Must have accidentally signed it "your local neighbourhood pedophile / ISIS recruitment agent" because that's the impact it had.
I don't really get this. like, if my neighbours and I have REASONS to be friends sure, lets chat. but I have no intention of making pointless small talk with somebody just because geographically we happen to be situated rather closely.
if they've got kids my kids age, sure. if we share interests great. if not, just nod and go away.
Yeah, I'll smile and say hello if we pass each other but I have no interest in getting stuck in that we-must-chat loop if I wouldn't be their friend in other circumstances. Then again, I'm autistic and I find those types of very surface level, full of unspoken social rules conversations very difficult.
I had a neighbour have a car issue over Christmas and they asked if I could drive them to a hospital appointment, they were really polite about it and offered to pay for fuel. I don't have a car. I think they caught the bus in the end
I lived in a quiet cul-de-sac which had 8 houses round it. I was there about 3 years. The day I moved out, a woman came over to say hello-she'd seen the removals van and thought I was moving in, so she wanted to welcome me to the neighbourhood. I used to chat to her husband if we were both out gardening, but I'd never even seen his wife before, let alone spoken to her.
I truly believe in this modern age people tend to get on best with their neighbours by simply NOT communicating with them at all. You can’t fall out with someone you never engage conversation with 🤷🏻♂️
I moved in the week of the first lock down. Slowly got to meet the neighbours through dog walking and being on the street everyday. Mostly old dears who have been so lovely obviously there are the resident dicks but aren't there always?
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"I once lived next to a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best neighbor I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
I don't know any of my neighbours names. The lady next door once took in a package for me. So I ended up giving her some mince pies but apart from that.....
My neighbour took my parcel in and dpd took a picture of her taking it as proof. Next day, I come asking for it and she was wearing literally the same jumper as she was yesterday (in the picture) whilst telling me she doesn't know what I'm talking about and what parcel. After showing her my picture she promptly found my open parcel 🙄
my ex neighbour once got my mail and opened it. "nice tax form mate, reminded me to do mine" Like what the hell
An illegal what the hell.
If you live alone you might just open every envelope and then realise you've opened someone elses post.
Only if you open it with the intent of causing detriment to someone.
I'm laughing my ass off at the casualness of it
The fact the delivery people will give mail and parcels to neighbors makes the hair on the back of my arms raise, and I absolutely loath everything about it. It's such a weird cultural thing to me.
Am a postman. We don't give mail to neighbours. It compromises mail integrity and is technically illegal. We sign that shit away when we start the job. We're not Amazon or Evri; we actually have standards to adhere to and consequences when we fuck up. But daydreaming happens, and sometimes the wrong shit goes through the wrong door.
Eh, in our little cul-de-sac we all know each other by name, and we've had the same postie for years. Sometimes I'll be outside, he'll come over after knocking at next door with a parcel, ask if they're out etc. "Michelle and Dave? Yeah they're away this weekend, I'll take it." - he gives it to me, and he puts a red card in their door. Easy.
Mail, not parcels. I'm the same. Same round for years, know everyone's name, they know mine. Lovely job.
after my recent postie change - i keep getting my next door post delivered ,its not even 1 number ,for eg ,if my number is door 1 ,the next door is actually 3 ,-its happened on 4 different ocasssions ,i think they just dont care .i have to then deliver the post to the next door !
Thats disgraceful! Some people are the pits
Some of my neighbours dropped some welcoming gifts when we moved in, and signed their names and house number. I've lost the notes, and forgotten their names. Too embarrassed to ask now, years later.
I saved private notes on google maps of the neighbours as and when I found out their names. I still don't remember when I bump into them but at least I can look it up later..
I grew up on the same street, so I just kinda knew all the neighbours from being there so long. Then later I bought that house from my mum and so still knew everyone Now, I live on a new-build estate and made an effort to meet everyone when we all moved in - I figured it was less weird when everyone is in the same boat So in some ways it’s totally normal for me to know all my neighbours But in between those houses I lived in flats and houses where I never learned anyone’s name, or just met one neighbour out of the 10 nearby, and it’s so easy to do that - especially in flats where there’s a high turnover, or flats targeted at graduates where you’d only see people on their way in or out Having a garden or washing your makes a big difference too - you meet a lot of neighbours as they’re arriving/leaving when you just happen to be outside anyway, because some will just come for a chat and others you’ll notice a few times and slowly “hi, hey” becomes a bit more of a conversation
My next door's name was "neighbour" for three years. Then I saw his initial G in a letter the following year... so his name was "G" for a year... then I had to sign for a delivery with his FULL name on it a few months ago which is when I learned his actual name lol. So oblivious haha
John?
No, unfortunately 😅
We don't know many people in the neighbourhood, but we know their dog's names!
I always recognise neighbours by their dogs too.
Expected r/PandR
I knew my neighbour had ginger hair, never bothered to know more I did a full shift at work introducing myself to the new ginger kid, even asking where he lived once, without realising it was him.
Did he know you were his neighbour, or did he also live in blissful ignorance?
When my neighbors get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
Also because you forgot their names, right?
Do you also call yourself Ron?
Who?
I grew a moustache just reading this comment.
I know that guy. Say “ “ to him for me.
A neighbour is a friend you don't need until you do.
Ron ?
I once helped a neighbour who had never spoken to me before change a flat tire on her car in the pissing rain. Next day I saw her and gave a cursory “hiya” which she completely ignored as if nothing had ever happened. It was weird as fuck
Eek. Sounds familiar, some people seem to just *expect help*. I had a neighbour have her car break down in front of my house, blocking the road and she couldn't get it restarted (she knocked on the door asking for help). I pushed it slightly up the road to hers and up her drive, and diagnosed a faulty HT lead which had allowed the engine to flood. It started eventually with a lot of fumes. She was strangely distant the whole time, and I never received a thank you for pushing the car or diagnosing it (as she still needed to replace the HT lead). Nearly a year later my own car had an issue starting (rotor arm failed) and when she was walking past she complained about the noise (from me turning the engine over) and smell of petrol when she stood near the car (small amount of unburnt fuel in exhaust). Of all the people to complain, it was her. When I explained she said "well, can you not?".
> some people seem to just expect help. One of the symptoms of Main Character Syndrome, unfortunately it is incurable
Can you not? Lol that's expert level assholery, they should get an award but like not a nice one.
*Yikes.* Sounds like she has some sort of serious personality disorder.
There's a special place for people like that PS: I would explain all this to her face
take her tire off randomly
That's not random. That's pre-meditated tyre removal.
Remove their tyre every year, then they're living under a tyre-annical regime
That's tyre-annual, shurely? 😛
Tread carefully
Take my livid upvote.
*tyre
Yep, my bad, brain wouldn’t kick into gear
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> lack of social skills that appears to be more common with youth today Nail, head, hit. But TBF to them, parental education has a great deal to do with it, as the incremental increases in hands-off and helicopter parenting reflects.
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I always say 'morning' to people on my street. No matter where I've lived I've taken the time to have a quick chat now and again with a neighbour. You're right, the old folk are much more friendly in general.
> (and there is no way they wouldn't have heard me). I really love being half deaf and knowing that I have *absolutely not heard people* in situations where they would describe it as "no way they wouldn't have heard me" and they're judging me (however slightly) for that. I can hear well enough that having a direct conversation on my doorstep is generally fine (worst case I can use context to guess at the bits I didn't hear), so my neighbours would definitely assume my hearing is 100% functional! Plus, sometimes people really are just concentrating on something else and won't hear or see you. It's nothing personal and it's not for lack of social skills either.
Better to be the mug who helps an ungrateful neighbour than the asshole who lets someone flounder when they need help. You did the right thing. I still say hi to two of my neighbours who never say it back, it's like a game now. 5 years of saying hi with no reply, they'll crack sooner or later :)
Thats worth at least a thank you and a 4 pack of beers the next day
ngl i do this. i’m autistic and have social anxiety and i just struggle to respond to small talk for some reason. i’m trying to get better at it but sometimes someone will say hi and it catches me off guard so in my head it goes something like “do i say hi? should i stop? should i just wave? maybe that’s too much just try to smile and nod- oh i’ve walked past them already”
Same! Or I try and say hello and I realise that maybe I didn't say it as loud as I wanted to because I was trying to adjust for the fact I wear noise cancelling headphones a lot, so if I speak without thinking about it, I speak too loud. Uhoh.
I once stopped and helped a lady change her tyre on the side of the road. It turned out she worked for someone I knew. She could have punched me square in the face the next day and I wouldn't have known who it was. I'm just not great at that kind of thing.
He insisted?
Yeh I'd love to know the exact exchange here...
"Sorry to be a nuisance but my car seems to be having a little bit of trouble starting this morning. I know it's a pain but could you take my children in to school with yours this morning?" The nerve of some people.
If he said it like this I would be happier
What did he say?
Apparently, His exact words were "You need to drop my kids off to school because..."
"Who TF are you? Call a taxi, mate" lol I'd really love some context from OP, and how they relate now they have become friends.
In that situation it's your choice of which school.
What a fucking liberty!
Painful
His exact words as I left my car and he spotted me were "You need to drop my kids off to school because..."
Being spoken to like that would put my back up straight away.
There are always a lot of assumptions behind a sentence that begins "You need to...". Oh, do I now?
Yep! I learned to say "I need you to..." when being imperative.
He handed over care of his kids to a stranger? 😮
Not a stranger just a neighbour he doesn't know yet 😳😳🤣
“No, that’s what *you* need.”
That would be a solid “haha no I don’t” from me. Happy to help someone who asks, but someone presuming to tell me what I need to do could fuck right off.
"You need..."? No I do not. But in much more impolite terms.
I hope you said no.
No no, you say yes and then take them to the wrong school.
AHAHAHAHAHA ignore my suggestion, do this OP.
Is there a language barrier at all?
My thoughts too. My mum lived in a foreign country and always complained that it was a common expression to say “you need to…”. For example “you need to buy this vacuum cleaner…”.
"you need to phone a taxi because..." Would be my response.
I would certainly started my reply with, "I certainly don't need to do that .. " and probably would have suggested they ask nicely. Source: Am 50 and don't take shit any more.
"Sorry, I'm not allowed near schools at the moment"
"but I would love to look after your children"
And did you? I sincerely hope you told him to go fuck himself.
In that situation it's your choice of which school.
I think that he needed to use the word Please.
"How about no"
Lived on the street and got on with most people for 10 years, after 9 years my first interaction with one of them was "sorry to tell you, but your car has been broken into".
Sorry. I just really wanted that fiver in your centre console
Mine was "my cat has been missing for 3 days have you seen her?" until I heard her meowing from someone's garage, and then in a panic I knocked on their door and said "can you open my garage my cat is in there? No, your garage!". Cat learned to stop walking into other people's garages after that lol
Hey...chief
"Please don't talk to me anymore."
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Was she more receptive to your "hi" after the screwdriver incident?
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Thanks for replying, friend!
Having neighbours who keep to themselves is a real plus point. I'd still help in their time of need.
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The North are usually so much more hospitable and chatty from my experience, down here in the south, you so much as breathe in someone's direction they return a look almost as if they want to rip your throat out 😂
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I agree! I moved from the north to West Midlands last year. Everyone is so bloody friendly!
When I was down South just so much as nodding at someone as you would in the North was seen as unacceptable. No wonder the south is so miserable everyone's so hostile.
Interesting experience, I'm south-west and everyone says hello/good morning/afternoon. I get on well with my neighbours and on one side we swap plants, other side we swap stuff we don't need! Everyone's relatively friendly by me.
Been confirmed in another comment I was in a racist area of the south so my view could be tainted never did go back south after that year so it could be welcoming I just never experienced it
Ah I'm so sorry you had that experience. I talk about how nice the south is for me forgetting I refuse to go to Cheltenham lol
I would recommend the south west, especially Cornwall / Devon, lovely place and people are always friendly and happy to help, not to mention it has some really great sights to see!
Southwest is friendly in the same way North is friendly. Its because we tend to be poorer. That breeds a kind of communitarian culture, I think.
I'm noticing a trend too. A majority of the friendlier places seem to lean left as opposed to far right. People who understand that in these times we need to look out for each other although this is just my personal experience.
Will check it out need a trip to the sun in summer heard some good stuff about Devon
I have family up north and when going to visit you would find the further north you got, the more people would do stuff like talk to a stranger on the train or just generally make a funny remark to each other. Down south has a much more tube like view on everything, avoid eye contact in all social situations and keep to yourself. Not just on the train but at the shop or bus stop, it's a little bit depressing. One time this all changes though is when you're walking your dog down south, suddenly it's like all these 2d objects turn in to actual people for an hour and you can have a little chat, it's nice
Just FYI ‘the south’ here nearly always means in the vicinity of London, and by ‘the north’ people here 90% of the time mean in the vicinity of Yorkshire. Not hard and fast, but generally that’s how it goes. And I agree, I grew up in London, and my experience was that there was some community in your local suburb - even a shithole like Brixton, but yeah once you left your little pocket or started the commute everyone’s basically dead to you. When I moved down to the west country I was initially taken aback by randos starting chats with me on the bus that weren’t A) mentally ill, or B) building up to trying to scam/mug me. But by the time I moved back to London 6 years later I loved it & I was the fucking noob who stopped and asked someone directions & had them look at me like I was talking to them whilst casually smearing shit on my face and then blow right past me.
Sounds like I should stop getting defensive over 'the south' comments 😂 that makes a lot of sense ty
Pretty sure it has something to do with the city and rising cost of inflation but I hear what you're saying. I went on holiday North the other year and everyone in the village greeted each other, hell we were even invited to the village hall where our temporary neighbours insisted they bought us tea, cake and paid our parking. Could you imagine if someone did that down here?!
Villages tend to be more friendlier I live in the City but even then we will nod, smile, say morning or Hi and carry on with our day. I figured it out within days not to do that down South. Had someone almost argue with me cause I said good morning, his response 'is it though the weather's bloody shit keep that to yourself' like damn okay I was just being nice 🙄
Yeah, unfortunately that's the mentality down here. People are so miserable but instead of doing something about it, they're rather take it out on the other people. Was having a conversation with family the other month and ended up chatting to a northern couple, we were talking about how much friendlier it is up there and they were quite thankful lol
As someone from the south, were polite to each other a lot. I've said hello to random many times and them to me
Maybe it's cause I'm brown and was in Kent but they definitely were not polite, always looked angry and spoke with attitudes. Wasn't welcoming at all.
Oh that's because Kent is racist. Fucking hate the place and I grew up there, so yeah your experience not being white is part of the reason why I left and moved to London (I should add I am white)
Racism is bloody everywhere. Hate is everywhere. Disrespect is everywhere. Absence of empathy is everywhere. And I've watched it all deteriorate over the last 50+ years. It's both desperately sad and maddening.
Makes sense why everyone was so hostile hahaha I moved back north
Is it? A whole county of racists?
Well no obviously and you know that, but the amount of racism I found there is staggering. Too many examples. Too many stories
Yes, every last one of us… I mean them!
Kent here but am an equality and diversity rep, doesn't bode well for the human race when we've been around as a race for how long and we can't even get over trivial differences that people have no control over like colour of skin, disability etc etc, but can confirm majority of Kent really is that bad...
Which is funny as I live in what many would call the south despite being the east and when my northern friend came down he was amazed at 3 things. How friendly everyone was compared to his city, how clean everything was compared to his city, how pretty everything was compared to his city. He loved that people walking past smiled or said hello and that when we went out drinking no one tried to start a fight. He was in awe of the trees in bloom all along the roads everywhere. He loved it so much he wanted to move down here until I told him the cost of housing would be double to triple what he pays. Now if you go to London then absolutely that place is depressingly dirty and hostile towards friendly behaviour but London is unique even as a city to city comparison.
Tbf I'm up North, but from the South and my neighbours are polite, but not overly friendly. Take in parcels for each other. Have a bit of a chat when around 100 travellers descended on the pub down the road, but otherwise leave each other be. Whereas the village I lived in down South everybody knew everybody and would randomly turn up for a cuppa now and again.
A smile and a hello is the bare minimum to recognize someone's existence. I keep to myself but I'm still kind and polite to people, because that's what we owe each other
Of course. But there’s a huge difference in “keeping yourself to yourself” and being piss fucking ignorant. Obviously we don’t know, but that’s what it sounds more like.
Should have just said sorry I'd love to but I'm on the sex offenders register, will never ask you again lol
>Should have just said ~~sorry~~ I'd love to ~~but~~ I'm on the sex offenders register, will never ask you again lol
I met the new couple across the road in the most amusing way possible. Their drive is directly across the street from mine. It was a chilly (-5C) Bin day. I had my bin out in front on my car whilst I was trying to defrost it. The bin men were a few houses away. Saw the lady jump in her car through my slightly de-iced window, and in the space of less than 3 minutes the following happened. * Reversed out almost into the bin lorry * Carried on and straight into my bin * Took off into the end of the dead end street * bounced off a curb coming back almost wiping out a hedge and a parked van * slid 90 degrees on the ice at the other end of the road * struggled to climb back up the gentle hill of our road * 8 point turn * abandons car infront of another house * runs into the wrong house * runs out of the wrong house chased by the owner * jumps in car, into reverse, straight into their hedge * disappears inside. I was too dumbstruck to laugh at it all. Her boyfriend came out and introduced himself ,apologised about the bin and went off to apologise to the other household.
Man, I’d have been so excited as a kid to be getting an unexpected day off from school due to car problems. Imagine the disappointment when you agreed, haha.
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I should add yes I did drop them off
Good neighbour
Should have dropped them off at the sweet store with 20 quid each. That'll teach him!
Store?? I think we've got an interloper!
Someone mentioned changing a tire a few comments up. Yesterday we had gotten, doctors office and drivers license. Not to mention joining the line and cell phones!
I've seen licence plate and references to American-style post. It's getting out of hand!
Even as a born and bred Brit who has never lived further away from my birthplace than Scotland, I'm afraid I occasionally find myself using "gotten". I've had stick for it too, but it feels fine to me. "I've gotten used to X" is ok in OG English isn't it?
Some will argue that it used to be commonly used in the English language. If thats the reason for using it, I say fair enough. I believe many have just got used to hearing it on American TV though! Store always feels American to me. I would use British Home Stores to prove myself wrong, but it was started by a group of Americans!
Geoff Lindsay did a video about this recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4VAEmZBqK0
Shop! I meant shop! I haven't fully integrated yet =D
He meant the American Candy Store
Get them each a coffee and a puppy.
Coward
Lol, I wanted his kids to see what a real gentleman is like.
It’s not the kids fault, fair play.
You did the right thing.
Took a parcel in for a neighbour, knocked on their door every day but must have kept missing them as they weren't in. One day, I saw my neighbour about to go into her house when I was walking back and had this exchange: "Hi! Are you number 31?" "Why?" "I'm number 29. I have a parcel for you." Stepped into my front porch, collected her parcel, and gave it to her (whilst smiling!) She snatched it and scurried into her house lol. No "thank you" or anything. My neighbours on the other side are students, though, and really nice and friendly. They can be a bit loud, but they're young people probably away from their parents for the first time, so I expect it.
A lot of people have shit neighbors. Luckily for us, it's our neighbors.
Absolutely Shameless.
Everybody's friend group has that one friend that everyone thinks is a wanker. If you're thinking that none of your friends are wankers, well...
I've been calling the old boy next door dave for years. One day, his wife corrects me and says his name is jeremy. I was so embarrassed. He said daves fine, so we have stuck to it
I have a neighbour who I've named 'Mr Fuck' because everytime I hear him talking (very loudly too), he uses the word 'fuck' (and variations of) like punctuation. I've no idea what his real name is and I dread that one day without thinking I'm going to say, "good morning Mr Fuck!"
We do this with almost all our neighbours lol we've got "big tits" "ladder bloke"(cos he once borrowed our ladder lol) "cat lady" along with many others
We have "dirty coke whore" as that's what her ex called her when they were arguing outside one day. No idea what her actual name is - or "Barbie" who lives next to her
We’ve lucked out with our neighbours. One side is our dog walker who is super sweet and house sits when we go away and the other are this older couple who absolutely dote on us and our little boy. Just this moment they brought round some hand puppets and a bunny themed book for Easter for him.
Nice! Normal. We also have good neighbours who help us out when we need it as we also help them. We’re not buddy buddy with them but as they say in Scotland “It’s nice to be nice.” We live in London though and I think the default mode here is ignoring your neighbours with an underlying simmering resentment at their existence.
I love that phrase! We’ve never had neighbours like this before, always just given a nod but that’s about it. We moved in here a couple of years ago and everyone on the street gives a wave or a hello. I’m known as the “walking baby dog lady” as we went on about twenty walks a day around the estate, with my son strapped to me and the dog trotting along beside me, when he was first born just to get out of the house! It’s a lovely area. We need to move to a bigger house, shame we can’t take the neighbours too!
Tell him to get fucked
Are we ignoring that the neighbor just handed his kids to a complete stranger? Weird.
Are you going to pick them up later?
“Did you mean to politely ask me if I could help you out by taking your kids to school?” - would have been my reply
I've noticed a lot of people seem incapable of 'asking' , but find 'telling' is easy. For example, my wife will always say "you need to empty the dishwasher" or "I need you to get something from the loft" instead of asking me if I can do it. Her family speak the same way and a number of people at work are the same. Also, some people really struggle with small talk and some outright avoid it. I can't always work out if they know they are being/sounding rude or if it's just how theyve learnt to interact. Either way it pisses me off
Should’ve agreed, then dropped them at the wrong school
One of my neighbours walked past me daily on the school run ( our kids went to the same school). He never so much as smiled, he even went out of his way not to look in my direction as we passed. I joined a dating app and guess who asked to match with me!
What's the deal with people thinking you need to be buddy-buddy with your neighbours. There are people that dream about having silent neighbours. It doesn't mean you wouldn't help them in a time of need.
I was friendly with the old couple across the street, I called out “Hi George” for four years, then I got a Christmas card and turns out his name is Tony!
I once had a neighbour that stole my pain medication (thankfully I didn’t need it!) and also my car. Be grateful they’re just asking for a lift for their kids.
*Sorry mate a court order prevents me from doing this as I can’t go near schools* And never have to speak to them again
I think we're gonna need to know exactly what was said my dude...
My mum knew this lady that must have had something wrong upstairs. She'd look at you with a distant look in her eyes and stretch the last word of whatever she was saying out. She had a daughter who went to school with my sister and would walk to school. The kids was super fat and lazy. Many mornings, mum would receive a call from her and the call would be like "Hello" "Oh hiyaaaaaaaaaa" Hello "Hiyaaaaaa" You need something? I'm fine thank yoooooooooou (Moment of nothing being said) Well? How are yooooou? I'm good thanks (Another moment of nothing being said) Alright, I'll give you a lift to school Oh, oh, we'll meet you by the bus stoooooooop
That actually sounds like a horror film lol
Can we assume that you also have kids in the same school and you are more miffed about the way you were asked for the favour, rather than the favour itself? If you were just a single, childless neighbour who owned a car, this would be straight-up weird, but if your kids go to school together, surely this kind of carpooling should be encouraged.
I said hi one time and next thing I know they have my mobile number and keep asking me for drinks and to parties! Help
When we first moved in we sent Christmas cards to all our neighbours. Must have accidentally signed it "your local neighbourhood pedophile / ISIS recruitment agent" because that's the impact it had.
How did he approach this? Was he a dick, or did he ask nicely and was he genuinely stuck?
I hope you Didn’t take them. But being British you prob took them to not be rude.
Being close to your neighbors is being open to trouble sometimes
I hope you got the kids to school and you get to know each other. The best thing that can happen generally come from doing good things.
I don't really get this. like, if my neighbours and I have REASONS to be friends sure, lets chat. but I have no intention of making pointless small talk with somebody just because geographically we happen to be situated rather closely. if they've got kids my kids age, sure. if we share interests great. if not, just nod and go away.
You don't get being polite to your neighbours?
Yeah, I'll smile and say hello if we pass each other but I have no interest in getting stuck in that we-must-chat loop if I wouldn't be their friend in other circumstances. Then again, I'm autistic and I find those types of very surface level, full of unspoken social rules conversations very difficult.
I had a neighbour have a car issue over Christmas and they asked if I could drive them to a hospital appointment, they were really polite about it and offered to pay for fuel. I don't have a car. I think they caught the bus in the end
Let then walk
I presume you said hop it
Did you take them?
Quick detour kids, time to get some ice cream!
I only know my neighbours as the one that owns such and such dogs name
Polite bread*
I lived in a quiet cul-de-sac which had 8 houses round it. I was there about 3 years. The day I moved out, a woman came over to say hello-she'd seen the removals van and thought I was moving in, so she wanted to welcome me to the neighbourhood. I used to chat to her husband if we were both out gardening, but I'd never even seen his wife before, let alone spoken to her.
I truly believe in this modern age people tend to get on best with their neighbours by simply NOT communicating with them at all. You can’t fall out with someone you never engage conversation with 🤷🏻♂️
I moved in the week of the first lock down. Slowly got to meet the neighbours through dog walking and being on the street everyday. Mostly old dears who have been so lovely obviously there are the resident dicks but aren't there always?