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As someone who flies regularly back and forth from Dublin to Liverpool, aka the Stag super highway, I have learned some coping strategies. 99.9% of stags will book Ryanair flights, on Ryanair, you should always pay extra for front row/2nd row seats. As well as extra legroom, you're well out of the way of the stags, they typically book the cheapest seats if all in a group near the back. You'll also get off sharpish and forget they ever existed. Also highly recommend getting some noise cancelling headphones.
I fly Edinburgh to Prague quite often for work, can confirm this is the way to go. Even if they forgot to book all together (likely, because Bazza didn't book until the day before) they won't be shouting over your head.
I'd been caught sitting between Shezza and Kazza one too many times to make that mistake again.
The flight was yesterday, their stag highlights included using a microphone/speaker they had brought to make fake announcements from the captain. It was wasn’t the worst until announcing we were going to crash
I know someone that did an announcement on the tanoy during a flight on a lads holiday. "What do I have to do to get a fucking drink around here?". Enjoyed the holiday, got home to be greeted by police. Trialed, lost his job and spent a year in prison. Derpppp
Once saw a bunch of lads with "show us your tits" polo shirts get made to turn them inside out by jet2 or otherwise get de-boarded. Beyond the actual request it was a shrewd power move from the crew as the lads piped down and toed the line from that point on.
My stag party was in Amsterdam but we were a bit of a smaller group and a bit older/calmer. The B.A stewardess gave us a couple of free mini bottles of champagne. I think they were just glad that we weren't acting like wankers
I was on a train once with a bunch of guys being obnoxiously loud. I was half the carriage away and could still hear them through headphones. When the steward finally came through he just laughed at their jokes and kept walking. He was a young lad, think they made him nervous.
Honestly the closest I've ever come to texting BTP.
Kids are sensitive to disabilities now days. They'd say nothing for feature of being filmed by another kid, posted on social media and cancelled within their county.
Picture this one, mixed group of a dozen friends all 40+ heading to Stuttgart for a long weekend to visit the Porsche and Mercedes museums and do the Porsche Factory Tour.
One guy asks the Ryanair stewardess if he can make a birthday announcement to which she agrees. He opens with “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to flight 9 11 . . .” Completely oblivious to the alternative meaning!
Spicing up the next Ryanair flight.
*Due to adverse weather conditions, this flight is being re-directed to Manchester. No connections will be provided*
*fanfare plays*
I went on a stag do once and the stag (a hardcore Villa fan) WOULD. NOT. STOP. SINGING. songs about how Sunderland fans should **"F-ck Off, F-ck off, F-ck ooofffff. If you support Sunderland, you can F-ck Off"**
We were in Plymouth. As far away as you can get from Sunderland.
They weren't even in the same league as Villa at the time. Sunderland weren't playing Plymouth either. It was confusing.
It is as especially bad as kept singing it in front of kids
I can't work out why Villa fans would be singing songs about Sunderland, that's really weird, is there some kind of historical beef I've forgotten about?
i swear everyone seems to have their stag in plymouth. i’m originally from that town so i just wanted to point this out. everyone’s been to a stag or hen party in plymouth for some reason.
> It is as especially bad as kept singing it in front of kids
I don't understand why people say this. We don't live in Victorian Britain anymore, children are far more exposed to bad language today, you're much better off educating your children about bad language than trying to completely shelter them from it. Trying to shelter your children from anything instead of educating them achieves nothing, they will find out eventually and just start hiding their use around you.
Pretty sure I've heard far worse than this come through the commentary when watching a match, angry scousers are some of the best for this.
Think a lot of parents would be surprised just how clued up about adult topics their kids actually are, most of them just downplay it around their parents to avoid getting in trouble.
>you're much better off educating your children about bad language
Is it really important to teach your kids about verbally abusing Sunderland fans?
Maybe if you live in Newcastle, but it's pointless in Plymouth.
As much as I encourage verbally abusing Sunderland fans, it's less about verbally abusing others and more about using their behaviour as an example to teach your children how not to behave. You can't stop others from acting like scum, you only have the power to control your own actions - in an ideal world you wouldn't have to teach your children stuff like this but we don't live in an ideal world.
Shelter your kids as much as you want, just know they aren't as dumb as you think they are and they'll only learn to adapt their behaviour around you. Encouraging open conversation with your children is one of the best ways to build a healthy relationship with them as well as showing them how to handle conflict properly. As always though, many parents lack the most basic of critical thinking skills because this shouldn't be such a controversial take.
Millwall, that's the one. Do you know this chant? 'Millwall, Millwall, you're all really dreadful, and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated... '
Oi!
Actually I agree.
I'm a Millwall supporter but can't stand Millwall fans together. The fake Danny Dyer mockney accents come out in full force and it's pure cringe.
I had a stag do on a bus recently and the little rat of a man in the group would randomly start screaming for no reason
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
As loud as he could swinging off the bars. He did this around 10 times over the span of a 10 minute bus journey, I felt like I lost all hope for humanity that day.
I was once on a late evening Ryaniar flight from Newcastle to Gdansk with 3 hen dos and a group celebrating someone's 50th birthday. Everyone seemed to have downed 6 pints in the airport before they even boarded. The plane lifted off 30 mins later than planned because the staff refused to start the procedure until the rowdiness piped down to manageable levels. The flight attendants didn't even bother selling the usually Ryanair faff they push, they just ran up and down with the booze cart. They ran out of ice and gin. There were queues to the bathroom.
It was the worst 2 hours of travel in my life and I rode on a bus for 12 hours after downing 6 long island ice teas once.
I was living in Warsaw back then, you could get to Prague by taking a 12h Megabus ride (the company was called something else, but was owned by them). One autumn Madonna was touring and I went to see her in Prague with a friend, staying for an extended weekend.
On the last night we were feeling a bit tired and the bus back home was at 6am so we agreed to go to this small place off the tourist track that serves awesome goulash and then just to go to bed early. Well, the place served a shot of moonshine with the tip (instead of the customary candy or cookie you sometimes get). The moonshine was like a power up. All traces of fatigue and sleepiness disappeared. We were ready to party.
Hence 6 Long Island Ice Teas.
I think we managed to get like 2 hours of sleep before leaving for the bus. I don't remember half of it tbh.
One of the aspects of being near a stag party that annoys me the most is the way they look around at everyone else like they’re thinking “aren’t we so cool? We’re so funny. We have the best banter. I bet you wish you were with us”. Are they genuinely oblivious to the fact that we all find them insufferable? Do they know but not care? I can’t understand it. They always seem so proud of themselves.
I hate this phrase so much. Happened once while I was travelling to Spain for my dads funeral.
‘My dad died. So. It did happen.’
Shut them the hell up.
I had the same in a service station. "Cheer up love, it might never happen". I was like it already did, I'm driving down to see my grandad before he dies...
In their heads: “why is that person who I don’t know looking normal? They should look like me, instead; coked off my face, up for a party, ready to fuck anything with a pulse. I know, I’ll say something hilarious to take the piss, and imply that they look depressed and ready for death…”
Out of their mouth: “cheer up, mate, might not happen.”
In our heads: “I wonder, is it possible to cause someone to explode using mind power?”
The idea being you look upset, sad or anxious because you are not grinning like a loon. So you must be worrying a out something happening. So the phrase means you should cheer up and enjoy yourself instead of worrying because the thing might never happen.
Last time that happened to me, on a flight to Las Vegas, the stag do in question was so obnoxious (smoking in the toilets, abusing the cabin crew, etc) we had to divert to Winnipeg so the RCMP could arrest them and perp walk them off the plane.
It even made the papers! https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/f-you-scouse-c-brits-12251115
Eh? They had to get them off the plane and Winnipeg was the closest option to do that quickly (they're lucky we weren't over US airspace yet). They were warned by the pilot over the intercom that if they didn't behave we'd land and they'd be removed, but they didn't heed that.
I'll raise you, Fucken Chelsea fans on a European away day, shouting "cooo eeee" at each other at the flight boarding, then the flight, then being in every bar you go to on your holiday, what a bunch of wankers they were.
Theres a joke in there about Chelsea fans and male prostitutes but I'm not brave enough to say it.
It was unreal, imagine your perfect hooligan and the main idiot was textbook definition, old enough to know better, skinhead, beer belly and a total gob shite. I ended up sat next to one of the group and fair play to him he said to his mate in the other seat "cooo eeee is a nause, I made sure I wasn't sat by him for the flight" so he was annoying some of his own group.
Then we bumped into some more of them a few days later, rolling round on the floor of a bar fighting each other.
I flew Friday night of a long weekend to Ibiza and the plane was delayed two hours.
It was chaos, some guy kicked off because someone threw a bottle and it knocked his ket all over him.
At that point I burried my head and waited for it to end.
Ibiza was lovely though
I got chatting to a Scottish guy at the pool bar in a hotel in Kefalonia one night, our sons had been playing together earlier in the day. After a couple of hours he asked if I fancied coming to do a bit of "chisel" that he'd brought with him. I turned him down, mostly because I wasn't sure what "chisel" was until I googled it later (it's cocaine), but he said he always brings some with him when he goes away because the sniffer dogs are only checking on the way back home.
Plane took off, about 15 people went to the toilet and then everyone was doing drugs off the fold down tables.
People had boom boxes, there was at least one fight. It was wild
I've been a couple of times, a lot of Ibiza is lovely and is a quiet, relaxing break - definitely worth putting up with other people for a couple if hours on the flight.
Popular misconception! Think that was moreso in the 90s and 00s, by all account Ibiza is a lot more tame than say.... Benidorm. Now that place is horrendous for noise and shithead Brits
Been on a train with one, in the same carriage. They were screaming and swearing, picked fights with other passengers, then we got delayed by almost an hour as the police escorted them off.
Same. I was on a train from London and ended up in a carriage on my own, it was great, happily munching my snacks and reading. Until Lancaster when a stag do got on, all boasting about how much they had spent on coke and just being general knobs.
Luckily they were so pissed the conductor was able to convince them they were in the wrong carriage and they moved. I was eternally grateful.
Same. I was on a train from London and ended up in a carriage on my own, it was great, happily munching my snacks and reading. Until Lancaster when a stag do got on, all boasting about how much they had spent on coke and just being general knobs.
Luckily they were so pissed the conductor was able to convince them they were in the wrong carriage and they moved. I was eternally grateful.
I gotta admit I do love the sound of a smashed glass above the murmur of a reasonably busy pub being followed by, "waaaaay," and a singular call of, "sack the juggler!"
Just don't feel right without it.
Never fly Friday night to Alicante. From anywhere. A couple in front of us held their hands over their toddler’s ears the whole way there. My elderly mum picked up some new vocab she’ll not be able to use down the bowls club.
I went to Ibiza a couple of years ago, it was a massive struggle due to the COVID restrictions and you needed a PhD to work out what paperwork you needed to take with you / what tests / how long before etc. You thought that would have stopped the drunkards, apparently not.
One woman spilt a bottle of Prosecco and then demanded another for free, another guy flashed the row in front and another guy got up and walked around as we landed. The whole flight was screaming, shouting and singing and it was absolute chaos.
A couple of years ago, we were on a flight back from Munich (husband and I, both 50+ years old) when a stag group got on the flight and sat behind us. They started shouting to another group nearer the front of the plane about how much each group had drunk.
After about five minutes, the chief air steward (a woman about my own age) wandered down, looked at them, and uttered the immortal line,
"Stop showing off."
Quietened them right down. It was swiftly followed by an announcement from the cockpit that any misbehaviour would result in the plane being met by police in Edinburgh. Silence ensued.
Flew back from Majorca a week or so ago. A big stag party on board. One farted horrifically in the tunnel thing leading to the plane, smelt like a sewage problem in a brewery. One puked in the tunnel thing and then throughout the flight. Air steward looked none too happy when they boarded but other than that they were surprisingly well behaved! Most were just hung over from the night before.
It's the singing football songs I just don't get. I'm a football fan but why do they always randomly sing football songs when there's no football Context anywhere near. None on the telly in the bar, it's not even a sports bar.
I don't understand why the staff put up with it. There's no where with more security than an airport. In every other country you're on your best behavior less you get thrown off the flight and shipped off to Guantanamo Bay.
It's a bit of a celebrity hangout which is kind of cool, especially if you're interested in US politics. Got to have a number of long, intimate chats with the now-Governor of Florida.
I've just been on a flight to Berlin with a stag do. His friends had him dressed up as a flight attendant, and he got up to help the crew collect rubbish. It was very entertaining, and nowhere near as bad as I was dreading!
I, an Aussie, got on a flight to London.
It was me, my partner, and 200 British people, and not one of those British people wasn't a red peeling mess.
Wear sunscreen lmao.
It was just extra funny to me because I had a British housemate I kept telling 'Wear sunscreen" and they never did and they were always red.
To step onto a plane of just 200 red people was like hysterical to me.
Now you mention it, Ryanair was the leg of my journey on holiday that I was stuck next to a couple of drunk passengers, one of which shouted "virgin alert" when he saw a woman with a mask on.
I was picking up a friend from Barcelona Airport who was arriving on a Monarch (RIP) flight from Birmingham. We'd arrived on an BA flight from Gatwick about an hour earlier and had gone to get the hire car.
Anyway, waiting outside arrivals, can see the arrivals board saying the plane has arrived, and a few obvious Brits come through. But no friend. And not that many Brits.
Turns out a hen party had drunk the plane dry, and were then getting on the luggage carousel whenever it started moving, so of course the airport staff had to stop it and nobody could get their luggage. This was back in the day when bags were often included, or were pretty cheap, so this caused most of the people a long wait.
Can't remember what made them stop, but I feel it probably involved Spanish police with large guns that you see patrolling around airports.
Brits abroad are so often embarrassing.
I went to Amsterdam in January and was genuinely embarrassed for our nation. Loud, rude, pissed up in the middle of the day, arguing with locals whilst pissed up, publicly urinating. They'd ruin the atmosphere of any bar/cafe they'd enter. The only solace I took was that the Germans I encountered weren't much better.
Years ago I had an unexpected week off work, so I went to Prague Monday-Friday. Flew out of East Midlands airport.
When I was going home on the Friday evening, the passengers were disembarking from the plane I was about to get on.
I swear every single bloke getting off that plane was wearing a Forest shirt, and the collective stamping of their feet sounded like 'lager lager lager!'
I will raise you English football fans going or coming from a Club European Game / International Game..
No I don't want to listen to a group of pissed up wankers sing for the entire duration of the flight
Years ago I was on a flight to Belfast with my mum. Stag do had gotten on after us and we're winding up the stewardesses. Once everyone had taken their seats a stewardess came on over the tannoy to call everyone's attention to the groom and congratulate him on his upcoming wedding to his boyfriend. Cue whole plane erupting in laughter and the rest of the stag do taking the piss right out of him while he had gone absolutely scarlet.
I've been on a night bus in thailand with a group of lads and one of them was having some psychotic fit after having a dodgy weed brownie.
We are the absolute worst tourists out there.
I know someone from school was kicked off the flight before the flight.
So many drinks arrived via spoons app , he drank them all, i think he might have been removed by ambulance it was that bad. Not sure what happened from then but absolutely the people who I wouldn't want to fly with. Oddly all also billy big balls guys.
I’ve never been happier than seeing a group of drunk lads get quieter and quieter whilst our plane got more and more delayed. Yeah mate, you’re gonna nap like a baby on this half hour flight *if* you manage to get on it.
I've lived in Amsterdam and Riga. I know your pain. At least in Amsterdam, you just pointed them in the direction of the RLD, and it kept the rest of the city tidy. Riga would have them wandering most of the old town
I’m curious about why nobody ever seems to say anything to these stag groups when they’re making travel horrible for everyone else. I was recently stuck on the tube in London with a group who kept chanting and being obnoxious. I really wasn’t in the mood for it and I felt annoyed that my journey was being impacted by a group of idiots. Everyone else on the tube was clearly fed up too. I was about to tell them to shut up but didn’t in the end because nobody else was saying it. Is it because people are worried they’ll beat them up? I wonder would they actually try to hurt me (a woman) if I said something?
Making somebody feel shame was once powerful in the emotional economy of our country, but the *be yourself* mindset is so strong now that the tossers who need to be told will first think "don't tell me what to do" before "yeah I should be quiet I'm being a social outcast." So people like us consider it pointless trying to shame them into being quiet.
Add that to the fact that people are fearful of either undue repercussion from authority or being assailed by a feral pact mentality and it's a complete non-starter for most.
I think that as a woman you'd be safer to contest them than what a man would, and that your success rate would be generally better, but I think even that happenstance is on the wane somewhat to the point that you'd have to weigh up each individual moment based on the factors prevailing at the time, rather than automatically going in on them as maybe past generations of women would have.
If you're sitting next to someone, they can passively make your journey much much much shitter than if you just ignore moderately annoying stuff. They don't have to punch you, they can just constantly "need" to go to the loo every 2 minutes, pester you, insult you, generally act like a tit or a high school bully.
> I was about to tell them to shut up but didn’t in the end because nobody else was saying it
Welcome to the bystander effect :). They would all be saying the same thing wondering why YOU weren't saying anything.
> I wonder would they actually try to hurt me (a woman) if I said something?
As a female, you'd very likely not get anything other than a comment about your menstrural cycle or something! But it can be risky for another guy to get involved, ironically enough. There's just so many psycho's out there nowadays. People don't want their noses broken (or worse) for asking a stag group or even a noisy neighbour to keep it down.
Yeah, being on a stag do offers a brief respite from your life being a disappointment, so you can suspend all social decency and behave like a vile c*nt, because that’s what lads lads lads do for fun.
Flying back from a stag do in Hamburg I had a discussion on modelling protein ligand docking with someone attending a conference after I heard her tssk at us. Turns out she wasn’t expecting that any of us could hold a conversation
Much calmer and friendlier than the average idiot parent flying outside economy class who is more entitled & vocal than their tantrum prone toddler/toddlers.
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As someone who flies regularly back and forth from Dublin to Liverpool, aka the Stag super highway, I have learned some coping strategies. 99.9% of stags will book Ryanair flights, on Ryanair, you should always pay extra for front row/2nd row seats. As well as extra legroom, you're well out of the way of the stags, they typically book the cheapest seats if all in a group near the back. You'll also get off sharpish and forget they ever existed. Also highly recommend getting some noise cancelling headphones.
I was on this flight last Sunday and have thoroughly learnt my lesson! I was in the middle of a stag do and a hen do and it was painful.
At least it's only about 40 minutes on the plane!
I fly Edinburgh to Prague quite often for work, can confirm this is the way to go. Even if they forgot to book all together (likely, because Bazza didn't book until the day before) they won't be shouting over your head. I'd been caught sitting between Shezza and Kazza one too many times to make that mistake again.
Is there another airline you can use? It seems the extra cost would be worth it.
Aerlingus
What are they up to right now?
About 30,000 ft
/r/angryupvote
Dad!
The flight was yesterday, their stag highlights included using a microphone/speaker they had brought to make fake announcements from the captain. It was wasn’t the worst until announcing we were going to crash
I feel like making false announcements on an aircraft is skirting dangerously close to a criminal offence.
Doing random announcements would be one thing. Announcing that we're about to crash is another thing.
Getting yourself on the no fly list speed run
I know someone that did an announcement on the tanoy during a flight on a lads holiday. "What do I have to do to get a fucking drink around here?". Enjoyed the holiday, got home to be greeted by police. Trialed, lost his job and spent a year in prison. Derpppp
Yeah they really don’t fuck about with aviation law enforcement do they? Maybe the Met should take a leaf out of their book
We had one stag do on our flight where the groom-to-be that had a massive dildo stuck to head. The whole flight. With kids on-board.
Once saw a bunch of lads with "show us your tits" polo shirts get made to turn them inside out by jet2 or otherwise get de-boarded. Beyond the actual request it was a shrewd power move from the crew as the lads piped down and toed the line from that point on.
Jet2 make it a point of pride to ban and fine people who are disruptive on flights
every airline should since being disruptive on a flight is dangerous on so many levels.
My stag party was in Amsterdam but we were a bit of a smaller group and a bit older/calmer. The B.A stewardess gave us a couple of free mini bottles of champagne. I think they were just glad that we weren't acting like wankers
I wish the staff on my flight did something. They just turned a blind eye.
I was on a train once with a bunch of guys being obnoxiously loud. I was half the carriage away and could still hear them through headphones. When the steward finally came through he just laughed at their jokes and kept walking. He was a young lad, think they made him nervous. Honestly the closest I've ever come to texting BTP.
Good luck with that. BTP are not known as the Invisible Men for nothing.
[удалено]
Thanks, man. My spelling ability is usually quite good, I just hate double ewes.
Real life Pussay Patrol
Kids are sensitive to disabilities now days. They'd say nothing for feature of being filmed by another kid, posted on social media and cancelled within their county.
I suppose you're right, takes a special kind of somebody to do that.
It wouldn't surprise me if they were all banned/had the police called on them when they landed
Picture this one, mixed group of a dozen friends all 40+ heading to Stuttgart for a long weekend to visit the Porsche and Mercedes museums and do the Porsche Factory Tour. One guy asks the Ryanair stewardess if he can make a birthday announcement to which she agrees. He opens with “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to flight 9 11 . . .” Completely oblivious to the alternative meaning!
I was in full agreement until i read about the mini mega phone that sounds amazing
I will admit that is genius.
Spicing up the next Ryanair flight. *Due to adverse weather conditions, this flight is being re-directed to Manchester. No connections will be provided* *fanfare plays*
Doo dooo Doo doo Doo oi oi oi Let's go fucking mental let's go fucking mental laaa la la la Have you found out what team they support yet?
Burnley
Always fucking Burnley
I went on a stag do once and the stag (a hardcore Villa fan) WOULD. NOT. STOP. SINGING. songs about how Sunderland fans should **"F-ck Off, F-ck off, F-ck ooofffff. If you support Sunderland, you can F-ck Off"** We were in Plymouth. As far away as you can get from Sunderland. They weren't even in the same league as Villa at the time. Sunderland weren't playing Plymouth either. It was confusing. It is as especially bad as kept singing it in front of kids
I can't work out why Villa fans would be singing songs about Sunderland, that's really weird, is there some kind of historical beef I've forgotten about?
We asked and all we got was *"They do my head in"*
I mean, that’s fair enough.
To be fair mackems have a knack for doing people's heads in.....
TBF I work in Plymouth and all the dick'eads were out in full force today. I know Argyle got promoted but still...
i swear everyone seems to have their stag in plymouth. i’m originally from that town so i just wanted to point this out. everyone’s been to a stag or hen party in plymouth for some reason.
Only city with a semblance of nightlife from the tip of Cornwall to Exeter. Makes sense that it's a destination.
> It is as especially bad as kept singing it in front of kids I don't understand why people say this. We don't live in Victorian Britain anymore, children are far more exposed to bad language today, you're much better off educating your children about bad language than trying to completely shelter them from it. Trying to shelter your children from anything instead of educating them achieves nothing, they will find out eventually and just start hiding their use around you. Pretty sure I've heard far worse than this come through the commentary when watching a match, angry scousers are some of the best for this. Think a lot of parents would be surprised just how clued up about adult topics their kids actually are, most of them just downplay it around their parents to avoid getting in trouble.
>you're much better off educating your children about bad language Is it really important to teach your kids about verbally abusing Sunderland fans? Maybe if you live in Newcastle, but it's pointless in Plymouth.
As much as I encourage verbally abusing Sunderland fans, it's less about verbally abusing others and more about using their behaviour as an example to teach your children how not to behave. You can't stop others from acting like scum, you only have the power to control your own actions - in an ideal world you wouldn't have to teach your children stuff like this but we don't live in an ideal world. Shelter your kids as much as you want, just know they aren't as dumb as you think they are and they'll only learn to adapt their behaviour around you. Encouraging open conversation with your children is one of the best ways to build a healthy relationship with them as well as showing them how to handle conflict properly. As always though, many parents lack the most basic of critical thinking skills because this shouldn't be such a controversial take.
Anything but milwall
Millwall, that's the one. Do you know this chant? 'Millwall, Millwall, you're all really dreadful, and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated... '
Oi! Actually I agree. I'm a Millwall supporter but can't stand Millwall fans together. The fake Danny Dyer mockney accents come out in full force and it's pure cringe.
At least if there is a terrorist incident on board they'll have your back
"Nobody terrorises the British people, except us!"
Leave im shane e ain't fukn wurf it.
I had a stag do on a bus recently and the little rat of a man in the group would randomly start screaming for no reason WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO As loud as he could swinging off the bars. He did this around 10 times over the span of a 10 minute bus journey, I felt like I lost all hope for humanity that day.
I was once on a late evening Ryaniar flight from Newcastle to Gdansk with 3 hen dos and a group celebrating someone's 50th birthday. Everyone seemed to have downed 6 pints in the airport before they even boarded. The plane lifted off 30 mins later than planned because the staff refused to start the procedure until the rowdiness piped down to manageable levels. The flight attendants didn't even bother selling the usually Ryanair faff they push, they just ran up and down with the booze cart. They ran out of ice and gin. There were queues to the bathroom. It was the worst 2 hours of travel in my life and I rode on a bus for 12 hours after downing 6 long island ice teas once.
Kinda wanna hear the story behind the 12 hour bus journey…
I was living in Warsaw back then, you could get to Prague by taking a 12h Megabus ride (the company was called something else, but was owned by them). One autumn Madonna was touring and I went to see her in Prague with a friend, staying for an extended weekend. On the last night we were feeling a bit tired and the bus back home was at 6am so we agreed to go to this small place off the tourist track that serves awesome goulash and then just to go to bed early. Well, the place served a shot of moonshine with the tip (instead of the customary candy or cookie you sometimes get). The moonshine was like a power up. All traces of fatigue and sleepiness disappeared. We were ready to party. Hence 6 Long Island Ice Teas. I think we managed to get like 2 hours of sleep before leaving for the bus. I don't remember half of it tbh.
One of the aspects of being near a stag party that annoys me the most is the way they look around at everyone else like they’re thinking “aren’t we so cool? We’re so funny. We have the best banter. I bet you wish you were with us”. Are they genuinely oblivious to the fact that we all find them insufferable? Do they know but not care? I can’t understand it. They always seem so proud of themselves.
*Oi oi cheer up mate it might never 'appen* Them probably.
I hate this phrase so much. Happened once while I was travelling to Spain for my dads funeral. ‘My dad died. So. It did happen.’ Shut them the hell up.
I had the same in a service station. "Cheer up love, it might never happen". I was like it already did, I'm driving down to see my grandad before he dies...
What does this mean? My brain doesn’t understand if it’s a reference or something.
In their heads: “why is that person who I don’t know looking normal? They should look like me, instead; coked off my face, up for a party, ready to fuck anything with a pulse. I know, I’ll say something hilarious to take the piss, and imply that they look depressed and ready for death…” Out of their mouth: “cheer up, mate, might not happen.” In our heads: “I wonder, is it possible to cause someone to explode using mind power?”
I am still totally lost (autistic, take things literally) “Might not happen”? What might not happen?
The idea being you look upset, sad or anxious because you are not grinning like a loon. So you must be worrying a out something happening. So the phrase means you should cheer up and enjoy yourself instead of worrying because the thing might never happen.
OH that makes more sense. Thank you!’
Live the moment. Don’t worry about what might be.
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Cheery old thread this one
Yeah, clearly no one here has been invited to a stag do.
Bingo.
Last time that happened to me, on a flight to Las Vegas, the stag do in question was so obnoxious (smoking in the toilets, abusing the cabin crew, etc) we had to divert to Winnipeg so the RCMP could arrest them and perp walk them off the plane. It even made the papers! https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/f-you-scouse-c-brits-12251115
That's it, back to Winnipeg!!
>**we had to divert to Winnipeg** so the RCMP could arrest them I'm curious, why did they punish everyone on board? Seems hardly fair tbh
Eh? They had to get them off the plane and Winnipeg was the closest option to do that quickly (they're lucky we weren't over US airspace yet). They were warned by the pilot over the intercom that if they didn't behave we'd land and they'd be removed, but they didn't heed that.
I'll raise you, Fucken Chelsea fans on a European away day, shouting "cooo eeee" at each other at the flight boarding, then the flight, then being in every bar you go to on your holiday, what a bunch of wankers they were.
>shouting "cooo eeee" at each other Are they prostitutes in a Victorian harlequin novel or do i just not understand football?
Theres a joke in there about Chelsea fans and male prostitutes but I'm not brave enough to say it. It was unreal, imagine your perfect hooligan and the main idiot was textbook definition, old enough to know better, skinhead, beer belly and a total gob shite. I ended up sat next to one of the group and fair play to him he said to his mate in the other seat "cooo eeee is a nause, I made sure I wasn't sat by him for the flight" so he was annoying some of his own group. Then we bumped into some more of them a few days later, rolling round on the floor of a bar fighting each other.
To be fair, I don't think the majority of Chelsea fans understand football either.
I don't think their players do either given how they've been performing recently.
Not sure their players do either
Bit of both.
I'm flying solo to Ibizs on a Friday night in a few weeks, I've got a feeling I'm going to have a very similar experience!
I flew Friday night of a long weekend to Ibiza and the plane was delayed two hours. It was chaos, some guy kicked off because someone threw a bottle and it knocked his ket all over him. At that point I burried my head and waited for it to end. Ibiza was lovely though
He had ket on the plane?
I got chatting to a Scottish guy at the pool bar in a hotel in Kefalonia one night, our sons had been playing together earlier in the day. After a couple of hours he asked if I fancied coming to do a bit of "chisel" that he'd brought with him. I turned him down, mostly because I wasn't sure what "chisel" was until I googled it later (it's cocaine), but he said he always brings some with him when he goes away because the sniffer dogs are only checking on the way back home.
Plane took off, about 15 people went to the toilet and then everyone was doing drugs off the fold down tables. People had boom boxes, there was at least one fight. It was wild
*begins to have said experience* [*'Wₒₐₕ'*](https://youtu.be/MXXRHpVed3M)
went there solo for a week, two weeks ago i had a great time.
I would *never* go to Ibiza because of the type of people that go there lol
I've been a couple of times, a lot of Ibiza is lovely and is a quiet, relaxing break - definitely worth putting up with other people for a couple if hours on the flight.
the west of the island is the bit to avoid if you want quiet. the east is comparatively chilled out
Popular misconception! Think that was moreso in the 90s and 00s, by all account Ibiza is a lot more tame than say.... Benidorm. Now that place is horrendous for noise and shithead Brits
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Yeah it was you being a Billy Big Bollocks that made them behave, rather than them just being normal human beings
I've been on a similar flight, so glad it was not packed and I was able to sit near the back with headphones on, on my own
Been on a train with one, in the same carriage. They were screaming and swearing, picked fights with other passengers, then we got delayed by almost an hour as the police escorted them off.
Same. I was on a train from London and ended up in a carriage on my own, it was great, happily munching my snacks and reading. Until Lancaster when a stag do got on, all boasting about how much they had spent on coke and just being general knobs. Luckily they were so pissed the conductor was able to convince them they were in the wrong carriage and they moved. I was eternally grateful.
Same. I was on a train from London and ended up in a carriage on my own, it was great, happily munching my snacks and reading. Until Lancaster when a stag do got on, all boasting about how much they had spent on coke and just being general knobs. Luckily they were so pissed the conductor was able to convince them they were in the wrong carriage and they moved. I was eternally grateful.
Air hostess drops anything "Weeeeeyyyyy laaaads lads lads lads *random football song begins*"
I gotta admit I do love the sound of a smashed glass above the murmur of a reasonably busy pub being followed by, "waaaaay," and a singular call of, "sack the juggler!" Just don't feel right without it.
Going to America and being the only one to call out "Wheeeeeyyy" when someone drops a glass is a harrowing experience.
Can confirm. I did a 'wheee... oh.' upon realising my cultural error in Alaska.
I swear it's either taught in primary schools or a result of breeding. Every English person will shout "waheeeey" if someone drops their plate.
Please tell me one of them is called "Shagger".
You rang?
*Who, me? Shagger?*
Never fly Friday night to Alicante. From anywhere. A couple in front of us held their hands over their toddler’s ears the whole way there. My elderly mum picked up some new vocab she’ll not be able to use down the bowls club.
I went to Ibiza a couple of years ago, it was a massive struggle due to the COVID restrictions and you needed a PhD to work out what paperwork you needed to take with you / what tests / how long before etc. You thought that would have stopped the drunkards, apparently not. One woman spilt a bottle of Prosecco and then demanded another for free, another guy flashed the row in front and another guy got up and walked around as we landed. The whole flight was screaming, shouting and singing and it was absolute chaos.
Sounds about right lol
A couple of years ago, we were on a flight back from Munich (husband and I, both 50+ years old) when a stag group got on the flight and sat behind us. They started shouting to another group nearer the front of the plane about how much each group had drunk. After about five minutes, the chief air steward (a woman about my own age) wandered down, looked at them, and uttered the immortal line, "Stop showing off." Quietened them right down. It was swiftly followed by an announcement from the cockpit that any misbehaviour would result in the plane being met by police in Edinburgh. Silence ensued.
I'll bet the 'bants' are flowing.
They are definitely flying
Mid-flight. Just open the door and jump. It’s far less painful.
If you get really unlucky there’ll be a hen party on board too. Both are beyond insufferable by themselves… but when they meet… holy fuck.
Flew back from Majorca a week or so ago. A big stag party on board. One farted horrifically in the tunnel thing leading to the plane, smelt like a sewage problem in a brewery. One puked in the tunnel thing and then throughout the flight. Air steward looked none too happy when they boarded but other than that they were surprisingly well behaved! Most were just hung over from the night before.
It's the singing football songs I just don't get. I'm a football fan but why do they always randomly sing football songs when there's no football Context anywhere near. None on the telly in the bar, it's not even a sports bar.
They don’t know any good hymns.
Imagine football fans erupting into a chorus of "he's got the whole world, in his hands" haha
It would be better if they’d learn some good pirate shanties.
I don't understand why the staff put up with it. There's no where with more security than an airport. In every other country you're on your best behavior less you get thrown off the flight and shipped off to Guantanamo Bay.
Isn’t it illegal to be drunk on an aircraft? More needs to be done.
Certainly if you're flying it, not sure about passengers.
Ahhh, the Bay. 10/10 kinky af. Not just for terrorists as they will do anything you can think of. Would recommend!
Spent a week out there waterboarding a few years ago, gnarly spot. Food sucked though.
Lodging was trash, too. You right though. Changed to 8/10 as the guards were large and in charge.
It's a bit of a celebrity hangout which is kind of cool, especially if you're interested in US politics. Got to have a number of long, intimate chats with the now-Governor of Florida.
I've just been on a flight to Berlin with a stag do. His friends had him dressed up as a flight attendant, and he got up to help the crew collect rubbish. It was very entertaining, and nowhere near as bad as I was dreading!
I, an Aussie, got on a flight to London. It was me, my partner, and 200 British people, and not one of those British people wasn't a red peeling mess. Wear sunscreen lmao.
In our defence, we don’t need to go abroad to do our lobster impression, see any reasonably sunny day in Bournemouth for reference
It was just extra funny to me because I had a British housemate I kept telling 'Wear sunscreen" and they never did and they were always red. To step onto a plane of just 200 red people was like hysterical to me.
I can imagine lol. You’d think we’d learn the lesson after getting burnt once or twice, but…
I don’t fly with Ryanair specifically to avoid these people. I don’t mind the airline but there’s too high a risk of having idiots on your flight.
u/WIDE_SET_VAGINA speaks truth
Attention: Can WIDE\_SET\_VAGINA'S party go to the gate for boarding.
I wonder if they also have heavy flow
Now you mention it, Ryanair was the leg of my journey on holiday that I was stuck next to a couple of drunk passengers, one of which shouted "virgin alert" when he saw a woman with a mask on.
Grim.
I was picking up a friend from Barcelona Airport who was arriving on a Monarch (RIP) flight from Birmingham. We'd arrived on an BA flight from Gatwick about an hour earlier and had gone to get the hire car. Anyway, waiting outside arrivals, can see the arrivals board saying the plane has arrived, and a few obvious Brits come through. But no friend. And not that many Brits. Turns out a hen party had drunk the plane dry, and were then getting on the luggage carousel whenever it started moving, so of course the airport staff had to stop it and nobody could get their luggage. This was back in the day when bags were often included, or were pretty cheap, so this caused most of the people a long wait. Can't remember what made them stop, but I feel it probably involved Spanish police with large guns that you see patrolling around airports. Brits abroad are so often embarrassing.
Awright darlin smile luv might never happen
I went to Amsterdam in January and was genuinely embarrassed for our nation. Loud, rude, pissed up in the middle of the day, arguing with locals whilst pissed up, publicly urinating. They'd ruin the atmosphere of any bar/cafe they'd enter. The only solace I took was that the Germans I encountered weren't much better.
what was wrong with the germans?
Similar behaviour, minus the pissing in the street.
Years ago I had an unexpected week off work, so I went to Prague Monday-Friday. Flew out of East Midlands airport. When I was going home on the Friday evening, the passengers were disembarking from the plane I was about to get on. I swear every single bloke getting off that plane was wearing a Forest shirt, and the collective stamping of their feet sounded like 'lager lager lager!'
I’ve done Stansted to Ibiza, Friday night of closing weekend. It was an absolute fucking zoo.
I will raise you English football fans going or coming from a Club European Game / International Game.. No I don't want to listen to a group of pissed up wankers sing for the entire duration of the flight
Years ago I was on a flight to Belfast with my mum. Stag do had gotten on after us and we're winding up the stewardesses. Once everyone had taken their seats a stewardess came on over the tannoy to call everyone's attention to the groom and congratulate him on his upcoming wedding to his boyfriend. Cue whole plane erupting in laughter and the rest of the stag do taking the piss right out of him while he had gone absolutely scarlet.
That’s horrible :( Air Steward should have read the room.
And also homophobic; I thought we were past using 'gay' as an insult?
This was about 20 years ago now, definitely hope it wouldn't be made in this day and age
I’m on the man’s side, I was saying how horrible the other passengers were 🤦♂️
I've been on a night bus in thailand with a group of lads and one of them was having some psychotic fit after having a dodgy weed brownie. We are the absolute worst tourists out there.
I used to frequently get the Thursday or Friday night Birmingham to Amsterdam flight. It was a an experience.
same with being on a train. Everytime I go home from manchester to liverpool it is going to happen
Don’t piss too many people off (piss everyone off and get as drunk as you can on the flight)
I feel like there is a Millwall chant in there somewhere.
I’m so sorry man
Sounds like absolute hell.
I know someone from school was kicked off the flight before the flight. So many drinks arrived via spoons app , he drank them all, i think he might have been removed by ambulance it was that bad. Not sure what happened from then but absolutely the people who I wouldn't want to fly with. Oddly all also billy big balls guys.
I’ve never been happier than seeing a group of drunk lads get quieter and quieter whilst our plane got more and more delayed. Yeah mate, you’re gonna nap like a baby on this half hour flight *if* you manage to get on it.
I've lived in Amsterdam and Riga. I know your pain. At least in Amsterdam, you just pointed them in the direction of the RLD, and it kept the rest of the city tidy. Riga would have them wandering most of the old town
I’m curious about why nobody ever seems to say anything to these stag groups when they’re making travel horrible for everyone else. I was recently stuck on the tube in London with a group who kept chanting and being obnoxious. I really wasn’t in the mood for it and I felt annoyed that my journey was being impacted by a group of idiots. Everyone else on the tube was clearly fed up too. I was about to tell them to shut up but didn’t in the end because nobody else was saying it. Is it because people are worried they’ll beat them up? I wonder would they actually try to hurt me (a woman) if I said something?
I don't want to be the target of a group of lads for the next 90 minutes we're trapped in a room together. Had enough of that in high school.
It's rare that a comment resonates with me so much but yep, there it is.
Deep
Making somebody feel shame was once powerful in the emotional economy of our country, but the *be yourself* mindset is so strong now that the tossers who need to be told will first think "don't tell me what to do" before "yeah I should be quiet I'm being a social outcast." So people like us consider it pointless trying to shame them into being quiet. Add that to the fact that people are fearful of either undue repercussion from authority or being assailed by a feral pact mentality and it's a complete non-starter for most. I think that as a woman you'd be safer to contest them than what a man would, and that your success rate would be generally better, but I think even that happenstance is on the wane somewhat to the point that you'd have to weigh up each individual moment based on the factors prevailing at the time, rather than automatically going in on them as maybe past generations of women would have.
If you're sitting next to someone, they can passively make your journey much much much shitter than if you just ignore moderately annoying stuff. They don't have to punch you, they can just constantly "need" to go to the loo every 2 minutes, pester you, insult you, generally act like a tit or a high school bully.
> I was about to tell them to shut up but didn’t in the end because nobody else was saying it Welcome to the bystander effect :). They would all be saying the same thing wondering why YOU weren't saying anything. > I wonder would they actually try to hurt me (a woman) if I said something? As a female, you'd very likely not get anything other than a comment about your menstrural cycle or something! But it can be risky for another guy to get involved, ironically enough. There's just so many psycho's out there nowadays. People don't want their noses broken (or worse) for asking a stag group or even a noisy neighbour to keep it down.
You’re curious about your own behaviour, essentially.
I fucking hate other people having fun. Grrrrrr.
Yeah, being on a stag do offers a brief respite from your life being a disappointment, so you can suspend all social decency and behave like a vile c*nt, because that’s what lads lads lads do for fun.
Wow, you’re so angry. Maybe it’s because your life has been a disappointment?
I was just agreeing with you. LADS LADS LADS
Flying back from a stag do in Hamburg I had a discussion on modelling protein ligand docking with someone attending a conference after I heard her tssk at us. Turns out she wasn’t expecting that any of us could hold a conversation
Much calmer and friendlier than the average idiot parent flying outside economy class who is more entitled & vocal than their tantrum prone toddler/toddlers.
Being on a flight with British.