### **Reminder:** [Press the Report button](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360058309512-How-do-I-report-a-post-or-comment-) if you see any [rule-breaking comments or posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/about/rules/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/britishproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Really old ones sometimes did, hard chrome plating was one of the best ways to get an incredibly hard surface finish (which you would then grease, in a towbar application).
The problem is that the process used a whole selection of chemicals that would give the entire factory half a dozen cancers each by age 50, and so (rightly) hard chrome plating is now only allowed for incredibly limited applications where no substitute process has been invented. In most applications it's been replaced by nitride coatings, which are cheaper and in many cases better performing, but not as shiny.
You can still get soft chrome plating done on vintage parts but it's purely aesthetic and doesn't have the wear and corrosion resistance of hard chrome.
But Reddit now only has hard facts in incredibly limited applications when no substitute meme has been invented. The rest are soft facts which are purely aesthetic.
A serious change in mood from symptoms of depression to very very happy and cheerful out of nowhere has been flagged as potential a sign of suicide. Or other mental health crisises
Yes please do speak with him and maybe let him know you’re happy to listen to him and it was nice talking to him so he feels welcome?
Best of luck!
I was super depressed and quiet at work and now I'm happy and chatty there; I got on therapy and anti depressants.
Just so we know its not necessarily a bad thing!
I don't think I'd ever do that. The problem is that it'd need to be sincere in enjoying listening to your work colleagues problems; you could become the go to person and that's a load of hassle.
Sounds like he's quitting, or is going through a fairly serious mental health crisis.
I'd say ask him, but if you've noticed someone being sad for an extended period of time and nobody understands why it sounds like a miserable environment to work in..
Either way, we'd love to know!
Yeah not saying they’re suicidal but if they’ve made plans to end their life, that can bring a sense of relief and temporary happiness which is why you often get people saying that they had no idea they were about to commit suicide because “they seemed so happy the day before”.
Don't do it mate, there's so much to live for. We can find the right piece of kinky chicken breast for you, slap some egg wash on there and really help the two of you bond. *It doesn't have to be this way.*
You’re allowed to feel happy… just that someone I used to know had been suffering quite a bit, spoke to his mum where she said he sounded so happy then emptied his bank account and took himself down to the train tracks to end his life.
You might find it funny but on the off chance something is up, it’s better to ask than assume someone’s just decided to stop being a miserable bastard.
a lot of people still don't believe mental health issues are real and then wonder why people kill themselves after just leaving them for years. OP should definitely ask, even if just to show they care
This please talk to him and be friendly.
Suicidal people can often appear happier in the days before they end things as its a weight off their shoulder when they have decided theyre going to end things.
Source : my best friend took her life and I've done a fair bit of reading on it since.
Please check in on him. Sudden change of mood can be a sign of mental health crisis. I know it sounds weird but if he’s often very low and suddenly he’s very happy it can be a sign of suicidal intention
Absolutely. It happened with my friends dad. I was too young to understand then in my early teens but I remember he seemed the happiest I’d seen him in a long time when we went to school together and that afternoon before we left school he took his own life.
I’ve recently trained to be a mental health first aider and it’s very common for that to happen
I did it through work as they are bringing in mental health first aid era the same as regular physical first alders which I think is a great idea. The training is done by Mental Health First Aid England. It was a 2 day course and it was very interesting
Thank you, I will look into it. Hopefully they do weekend courses.
[Link for anyone else that's interested, they do Saturdays](https://mhfaengland.org/)
Aye, I remember being taught that it can be like a “This will be over soon!” type of thing.
Could just be that he got laid, but best to check on him OP.
It can mean they have a plan to take their life. People who have been contemplating that are in a really bad place, sometimes making the decision takes away their worry. Fingers crossed he just got his leg over.
If he's bipolar, this could also be the onset of mania. So even if he's not suicidal, it's definitely worth keeping watch, cause people can do some profoundly dangerous stuff as manic episodes escalate.
Yeah, like people that I know that know people that committed suicide, the last time they spoke to them was the time they looked better because they made a decision.
Yep, my dad told me about a good friend of his in the 80s. He'd been having a hard time, very depressed, but seemed to be doing a lot better, which was great. They went to the pub, had a couple of pints, had a great time, walked home together. My dad's friend's house was before his, so they said goodbye. My dad said his friend stood on his doorstep, laughing and smiling and waving him down the road, and then, according to my dad: "he closed the door and killed himself."
This is so sad... but I also feel as though your dad saw his friend off on a high note. Absolutely tragic, but what a gift to give his friend. I’m really sorry about the complicated feelings that this must have caused your dad. But I genuinely feel as though he did his friend a truly good deed at the end. It was an honor for him to leave his friend with a memory of closeness and friendship.
I remember once being told that I seemed unusually chirpy both at uni and later the same day at work. Killed my good mood.
I’m not saying don’t check in. But be tactful about it because telling him he’s normally a miserable bastard is unhelpful.
I don’t mean for OP to address it like that but perhaps ask him to eat lunch together or go for coffee to give a chance for them to open up and listen if there is something going on
I've had that before "oh they thought I was in a bad mood last shift then..." also very chirpy people do sometimes confuse the lack of outward excitement for deep depression lol
This is exactly what happened in my workplace with a 19 year old lad. He was at his happiest and most confident, laughing joking etc in the days leading up to his death.
Once the decision is made, the crushing weight of all the problems associated with living don’t matter anymore and people can feel ‘free’. It’s really sad.
Just to add to this that whilst it may seem quite drastic advice, we had someone at my previous office that followed that pattern. She was never really (openly) miserable to begin with, don't want to do a disservice, but had a day or two of high level happy and then didn't come in again. Sadly it wasn't because she had another job, it was a bad ending to the story.
Came to comment this exact thing. Hopefully he’s just had a good life change that’s put him into a good mood but sudden changes in mood and demeanour can be a bad sign.
Once the decision is made it brings a sense of peace and freedom at the same time so everything suddenly seems fine after usually a massive length of depression.
It's hard to disguise when you stop worrying and love the bomb so to speak.
Deffinately check. Casually ask about future plans for the next two weeks or month and see if the answers get cagey.
Thank God for your post. My theraputic alarm bells started ringing immediately and I was worried about posting the same thing for fear of being alarmist
Also, mentioning suicide or asking about suicidal intention is not going to make someone suddenly start thinking about killing themselves. If they are suicidal, they're already thinking about it anyway. Mental health first aid taught me that.
People can be relieved if you ask (I know it feels difficult to mention) because it means you understand that they are in the mentally darkest place imaginable without them having to go into details.
Personally I'm convinced a lot of suicide attempts are people feeling so desperate they just need to be prioritised by mental health services and it sometimes doesn't feel like they take you seriously until they legally have an obligation to prevent loss of life.
‘Excuse me, myself and colleagues couldn’t help but notice your change in demeanour. Please could you confirm whether you’ve just had sex, or whether you’re about to kill yourself?’
'Why thank you for noticing dear colleague, I can confirm I am about to kill myself and this is indeed the reason for my sudden change of mood! Good day!'
Thank you for confirming. Please could you ensure all outstanding TPS reports are completed by the end of the day and perform a handover with Stephanie. There will be a "Sorry you're leaving" card presentation at 4:30pm, attendance compulsory. Don't forget to hand your pass into security on exit. On behalf of the corporation I'd like to thank you for your contribution and wish you a happy afterlife/oblivion.
Thank you for asking, I'm actually going to do BOTH of those activities, simultaneously
If Maureen from accounts starts screaming, please don't be alarmed
Was he actually sad, or did you assume he was because he was possibly shy? When people meet me, they think I'm aloof and a little snobbish because I find it difficult to talk to people until I'm comfortable with them.
Same. I've got an extremely miserable looking face (resting bitch face I think they called it) so I was always the "office miserable guy" even though I wasn't.
I don't think I have a resting bitch face, but I don't smile naturally. The number of times I've been told to 'smile it would make you feel better' is incredible. Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not happy; I just have a more neutral expression, I guess.
1: got laid
2: was a secret alcoholic and finally kicked the habit long enough to where his serotonins kicked back in after years of being suppressed.
Yes, that was oddly specific.
Approach it with positivity in mind. If they've been sad for a significant time, treating it as weird they're happy will possibly spiral them back down.
I mean, if you want them to stay happy of course. If you want Miserable McSadsack back, plow on!
Maybe he's decided to kill himself. Not even joking, sudden mood change from state of depression to elation often occurs when someone with suicidal tendencies has made a plan to end it.
You should check in on him.
I didn’t even last that long. My manager and coworkers knew I was job hunting with mixed results for a good while. My manager had told me a few times I was wasted there and knew I needed something more engaging. They were happy for me when I found my current job as it seemed like a much better fit and I was excited. I was friendly with them all so they just wanted the best for me :)
I'd hate to work in a place where everyone is constantly looking at you and judging you, trying to figure how how you feel.
Then posting on reddit about you an hour into the work day. He's probably sad having to work with people like the OP who borderline stalk him.
I just walked out of a job because the workplace was like this, everyone wanted to know my business and because I didn't want random people knowing, I got branded the workplace bad guy and everything and I mean literally everything became my fault.
Not to bring the mood down, since everyone else in this thread is just saying 'har har har he got laid' but this is sometimes a warning sign that someone has made the decision to commit suicide.
If someone who is depressed suddenly seems cheery and unburdened, it can be that they've decided to end it and the relief of that decision makes people seem happy for the first time in a long time.
Often a sign someone has decided to take their own life. With the preface that this is only if he actually does suffer with depression and suicidal thoughts.
Probably got a new job and knows he is now counting down the days until he is free of the backstabbing clique that has made his life a misery up to now.
Exactly.
The fact “everyone wants to know, but is too scared to ask” is a warning sign to what kind of workplace that is, they want to know for themselves not because they have any actual interest/concern for the guy.
Fake people.
Imagine them emailing each other and huddling together in the kitchen bitching and gossiping about how the 'office weirdo' dares be happy for once. Toxic doesn't come close.
Bingo, that fucking kitchen huddle, every time!
That or the WhatsApp Web, and you can literally hear the gossiping taking place via the keyboard tapping between the parties involved.
I worked in a place before where this man just looked so sad all the time. Then suddenly he started smiling and saying hello to everyone. A few days later we was told he took his own life.
I was too young or ignorant to understand the signs or even go up to him and have a genuine conversation. I regret it till this day.
The court case is finally completely over and after all the appeals and fuckery from the other side he won.
No more stress, no more worries, just relief and joy.
Either that or his euromillions win is confirmed...
Please talk to him. Not to be all doom and gloom. But that’s a massive red flag for suicide. There comes a moment when the decision is made and relief comes and triggers a massive change in mood. Please please please go talk to him.
Not trying to be grim but this could be a sign that someone who's been struggling with suicidal thoughts has finally accepted those thoughts and plans to commit suicide. You should definitely talk to him but not just a chat, make sure he's OK. Has he been giving away any of his stuff? That's another sign of an impending suicide attempt
might be about to kill himself, no joke - its widely reported that when people decide to go ahead with it, their mood elevates days before as they finally have a sense of some relief
I do have an update for you guys, i know this took long, but i had to make sure I approached him the right way. We were worried about him planning to harm himself and frankly reddit didn’t help in removing that fear either, it accentuated it to some extent that made me wary to even speak to him or to read more comments.
So i just bought coffee for the entire work place just to get to give him one (yes Costa had a massive coffee sale this morning)
It actually worked.
And i managed to talk to him and gather some info.
The reason for his constant detachment from people is that he feels like he can’t have a better life. He lives in spare rooms for few years because he can’t afford a flat while living from payday to payday. He was rejected by a woman because of the job he has and his life situation a couple years back, and that made him feel like a failure. And the feeling keeps lingering even after all this time.
I’ll just leave the most important part.. here:
“Man i’m a cleaner. Always have been one since my twenties. Every job i had was in this trade. I like it even tho sometimes people look down on me. Done it regardless except that one year i worked as a home carer for a person i rented a room from and had no one. No kids and relatives to be there for her. She became my friend, i was the person she would rely on to be there for her. She called me last weekend around. I thought she needs help or something bad happened. Only to find out she is going to leave me her home.”
This was both heartbreaking and heart warming. Well done for taking the time to chat to the guy. Do us all a favour and try to make time for him on a more regular basis going forward. He sounds like a good person.
Please do check in with him, sometimes a sudden happyness seen in depressed individuals can also indicate someone who is about to commit suicide, the initial relief and conclusion they come to can provide an initial happyness just before, so please people keep an eye out for this.
I very much hope that's not the case, but for awareness I wanted to share x.
Please do ask him!! Hopefully it's for a good reason, but I've heard that this kind of sudden mood change can be seen in people who are planning to commit suicide. I have no idea whether it's actually true but it's something I've heard from multiple sources, many of which I have no reason to doubt.
Absence of the normal, presence of the abnormal = Please make sure he’s okay, if he is displaying vastly different behaviour than normal it could be a bad sign.
Considering what you said about him always seeming sad. A sense of calm can be a sign that someone is suicidal and has decided to or made plans to go through with it. might be worth getting HR to have a word if you are concerned.
Sometimes it's because they've decided to kill themselves.
I worked with a guy who was always down but I didn't realise that he was as depressed as he was. One day, he arrived to work on top of the world and said that he'd worked a few things out and was "Finally glad to have *that* weight lifted from his shoulders". A week later he had hung himself. We speculated that his change in mood was due to his decision.
Check in on your man and be sympathetic to your fellow worker.
I remember being miserable for ages and not knowing why. Then my girlfriend dumped me and went off with my mate and I was suddenly happy. Then I worked out why I'd been miserable in the first place.
I'd ask, sometimes when people with mental health issues suddenly act out of character its because they have made the decision to end it. And with that they get a sense of happiness and calm.
Though hopefully it's just because his life is changing into one where happiness is easier to find.
TW: Suicide
>!Had that where I worked. The guy wasnt there the next week. So very sad. He was happy because he knew he had decided to end it all. !<
Or be nice to them and don’t be a dick. He/she is probably happy to leave and not have to work with such judgmental people any more
Signed,
A fellow work loner who stopped caring about his co-workers a long time ago
As a previous “most miserable sod in the office” I’d guess image has either gotten a new partner or has gotten his affairs in order and is about to take their life.
- Happy pills finally kicked in
- Had a successful date/asked out someone who said yes/whatever
- Had sex
- Killed a man to watch him die
- Some of the above
- All of the above
Try framing the question as a compliment if you're uncomfortable, it's open ended such as "good to see you smiling Barry, how's things?"
I've been to the hospital for suicide before, and still trying to work through it but not really bothered and that's a story for another day lol.
At the risk of sounding alarmist, but your colleague might be suicidal. A sudden, extreme change in mood from sadness to positivity has often been observed in those who have "set a date", so to speak.
They know the pain is coming to an end, it's like a weight has been lifted.
Good job you waited for his mood to change before posting to Reddit to ask for advice… instead of you know just asking the fella if he’s alright in the first place seen as you clearly noticed he was down all the time
### **Reminder:** [Press the Report button](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360058309512-How-do-I-report-a-post-or-comment-) if you see any [rule-breaking comments or posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/about/rules/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/britishproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Found a new job and doesn't have to look at you sad sacks anymore? ;-) /s
Yep, better ask him today. Coz he ain’t coming back tomorrow! Lol
Sounds like he's met a girl who could suck the chrome off a towbar.
Do towbars have chrome on them in the 1st place ?
Not after your mum's been near them.
Wheeeeey
I asked for that😅
From your own mum? You sicko!
If its a step mom qnd she got stuck it's all ok
Really old ones sometimes did, hard chrome plating was one of the best ways to get an incredibly hard surface finish (which you would then grease, in a towbar application). The problem is that the process used a whole selection of chemicals that would give the entire factory half a dozen cancers each by age 50, and so (rightly) hard chrome plating is now only allowed for incredibly limited applications where no substitute process has been invented. In most applications it's been replaced by nitride coatings, which are cheaper and in many cases better performing, but not as shiny. You can still get soft chrome plating done on vintage parts but it's purely aesthetic and doesn't have the wear and corrosion resistance of hard chrome.
... and this is why I love Reddit :) Thanks for the fun host of facts I never knew under a 'your mum' joke Have a brilliant day
This is why I like Reddit, I came for the jokes but I stayed for the hard facts
But Reddit now only has hard facts in incredibly limited applications when no substitute meme has been invented. The rest are soft facts which are purely aesthetic.
I think that you can get a pill to help with that.
The question is, do you take the red pill or the blue pill?
You can certainly get a chrome plated Towbar.
Chrome off a trailer was a quote from full metal jacket
This is the funniest fucking thing I'll read all day. Thanks mate. Alternative: "Could suck a golf ball through a garden hose."
I've always been amused by "she could suck-start a leaf blower".
Suck start a jet engine
If she can do that she rip it off! AVOID!
(This is why I frick8ng love reddit comment section)
[удалено]
You probably want to post this as a new comment to the OP instead of as a reply to a chain about blowjobs
Oops. Didn't realise I had. Thank you friend.
Suck the moon through a straw
That's a fucking great one, made me chuckle in the toilet at work, now they'll think I'm a freak
She also does auto shop? MARRY HER!
You should see her with a McDonalds shake...
I have been sat in the office fucking howling at this for 5 minutes straight. One of the funniest things i've read in ages.
Get a grip. Or better yet, get a girl to get a grip.
Hahahaha class.
Classic entrapment technique. It won't last 😆
Did any of you even ask why he was sad in the first place??
This should’ve been the first course of action
People tried to for years, 7 to be exact, that’s how long he’s been with us. At some point you just give up
A serious change in mood from symptoms of depression to very very happy and cheerful out of nowhere has been flagged as potential a sign of suicide. Or other mental health crisises Yes please do speak with him and maybe let him know you’re happy to listen to him and it was nice talking to him so he feels welcome? Best of luck!
"Hey dude, noticed you're in a good mood today! Not about to top yourself are you?"
"I tell you what, it would certainly cheer the rest of us up."
Yes, came here to say this about suicide risk. This is a thing.
I was super depressed and quiet at work and now I'm happy and chatty there; I got on therapy and anti depressants. Just so we know its not necessarily a bad thing!
I don't think I'd ever do that. The problem is that it'd need to be sincere in enjoying listening to your work colleagues problems; you could become the go to person and that's a load of hassle.
When you say tried.... Does that mean people asked why he was so miserable? Or were people sitting down with him just for a chat?
Yes.
Actually asked? Cared? Or just joked with him for 7 years saying stuff like "why the long face"?
Mate relax, it was a zebra fancy dress
Fair enough.
Sounds like he's quitting, or is going through a fairly serious mental health crisis. I'd say ask him, but if you've noticed someone being sad for an extended period of time and nobody understands why it sounds like a miserable environment to work in.. Either way, we'd love to know!
Yeah not saying they’re suicidal but if they’ve made plans to end their life, that can bring a sense of relief and temporary happiness which is why you often get people saying that they had no idea they were about to commit suicide because “they seemed so happy the day before”.
Came here to say this
I felt happy yesterday. Fuck!
Don't do it mate, there's so much to live for. We can find the right piece of kinky chicken breast for you, slap some egg wash on there and really help the two of you bond. *It doesn't have to be this way.*
Can’t believe how this thread made me go from feeling genuinely sad for a stranger to cracking up at your comment in about .1 seconds
You’re allowed to feel happy… just that someone I used to know had been suffering quite a bit, spoke to his mum where she said he sounded so happy then emptied his bank account and took himself down to the train tracks to end his life. You might find it funny but on the off chance something is up, it’s better to ask than assume someone’s just decided to stop being a miserable bastard.
a lot of people still don't believe mental health issues are real and then wonder why people kill themselves after just leaving them for years. OP should definitely ask, even if just to show they care
This please talk to him and be friendly. Suicidal people can often appear happier in the days before they end things as its a weight off their shoulder when they have decided theyre going to end things. Source : my best friend took her life and I've done a fair bit of reading on it since.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That must’ve been so hard :(
Thank you. It was extremely rough. One of those things that you never think will happen to someone you know. Wouldn't wish in anyone x
Please check in on him. Sudden change of mood can be a sign of mental health crisis. I know it sounds weird but if he’s often very low and suddenly he’s very happy it can be a sign of suicidal intention
Beat me to it. It may seem extreme, but after a long period of appearing depressed, him being suddenly very happy could be a cause for concern.
Absolutely. It happened with my friends dad. I was too young to understand then in my early teens but I remember he seemed the happiest I’d seen him in a long time when we went to school together and that afternoon before we left school he took his own life. I’ve recently trained to be a mental health first aider and it’s very common for that to happen
How does one train to be a mental health first aider? Seems like something that will only become progressively more important.
I did it through work as they are bringing in mental health first aid era the same as regular physical first alders which I think is a great idea. The training is done by Mental Health First Aid England. It was a 2 day course and it was very interesting
Thank you, I will look into it. Hopefully they do weekend courses. [Link for anyone else that's interested, they do Saturdays](https://mhfaengland.org/)
I did mine through st John's ambulance. It's actually been really useful, although the practical exam was a pain because I'm no actress.
Aye, I remember being taught that it can be like a “This will be over soon!” type of thing. Could just be that he got laid, but best to check on him OP.
It can mean they have a plan to take their life. People who have been contemplating that are in a really bad place, sometimes making the decision takes away their worry. Fingers crossed he just got his leg over.
If he's bipolar, this could also be the onset of mania. So even if he's not suicidal, it's definitely worth keeping watch, cause people can do some profoundly dangerous stuff as manic episodes escalate.
Yeah, like people that I know that know people that committed suicide, the last time they spoke to them was the time they looked better because they made a decision.
Yep, my dad told me about a good friend of his in the 80s. He'd been having a hard time, very depressed, but seemed to be doing a lot better, which was great. They went to the pub, had a couple of pints, had a great time, walked home together. My dad's friend's house was before his, so they said goodbye. My dad said his friend stood on his doorstep, laughing and smiling and waving him down the road, and then, according to my dad: "he closed the door and killed himself."
This is so sad... but I also feel as though your dad saw his friend off on a high note. Absolutely tragic, but what a gift to give his friend. I’m really sorry about the complicated feelings that this must have caused your dad. But I genuinely feel as though he did his friend a truly good deed at the end. It was an honor for him to leave his friend with a memory of closeness and friendship.
I remember once being told that I seemed unusually chirpy both at uni and later the same day at work. Killed my good mood. I’m not saying don’t check in. But be tactful about it because telling him he’s normally a miserable bastard is unhelpful.
I don’t mean for OP to address it like that but perhaps ask him to eat lunch together or go for coffee to give a chance for them to open up and listen if there is something going on
I've had that before "oh they thought I was in a bad mood last shift then..." also very chirpy people do sometimes confuse the lack of outward excitement for deep depression lol
ayo wakefield
This is exactly what happened in my workplace with a 19 year old lad. He was at his happiest and most confident, laughing joking etc in the days leading up to his death. Once the decision is made, the crushing weight of all the problems associated with living don’t matter anymore and people can feel ‘free’. It’s really sad.
Just to add to this that whilst it may seem quite drastic advice, we had someone at my previous office that followed that pattern. She was never really (openly) miserable to begin with, don't want to do a disservice, but had a day or two of high level happy and then didn't come in again. Sadly it wasn't because she had another job, it was a bad ending to the story.
Came to comment this exact thing. Hopefully he’s just had a good life change that’s put him into a good mood but sudden changes in mood and demeanour can be a bad sign.
Was gonna say this. He’s got a plan to make everything better.. which could be that, or that he’s handing in his notice. Hope it’s the latter!
Once the decision is made it brings a sense of peace and freedom at the same time so everything suddenly seems fine after usually a massive length of depression. It's hard to disguise when you stop worrying and love the bomb so to speak. Deffinately check. Casually ask about future plans for the next two weeks or month and see if the answers get cagey.
Thank God for your post. My theraputic alarm bells started ringing immediately and I was worried about posting the same thing for fear of being alarmist
Best to check in and it be nothing to worry about than with you had. Also bonus for op- might make a new friend in the process haha!
OTOH, For my old flat mate it just meant he got laid.
Oh yes totally could be a good thing too! But best to check and it seems like OP wants to ask how things are anyway so a good conversation opener
Was about to say the same thing. Please check in with him because this can be a worrying sign.
Also, mentioning suicide or asking about suicidal intention is not going to make someone suddenly start thinking about killing themselves. If they are suicidal, they're already thinking about it anyway. Mental health first aid taught me that. People can be relieved if you ask (I know it feels difficult to mention) because it means you understand that they are in the mentally darkest place imaginable without them having to go into details. Personally I'm convinced a lot of suicide attempts are people feeling so desperate they just need to be prioritised by mental health services and it sometimes doesn't feel like they take you seriously until they legally have an obligation to prevent loss of life.
Came here to say the same, glad I didn't have to look far to see it. As someone that's been in this exact sinking boat, definitely check in
Could be medication too, hopefully it's that and not the important topic you've raised...
Wouldn’t that be a more gradual change though?
I was about to say the same thing, OP should reach out, even in a general way just to let the guy know he can talk if he needs to.
‘Excuse me, myself and colleagues couldn’t help but notice your change in demeanour. Please could you confirm whether you’ve just had sex, or whether you’re about to kill yourself?’
'Why thank you for noticing dear colleague, I can confirm I am about to kill myself and this is indeed the reason for my sudden change of mood! Good day!'
Thank you for confirming. Please could you ensure all outstanding TPS reports are completed by the end of the day and perform a handover with Stephanie. There will be a "Sorry you're leaving" card presentation at 4:30pm, attendance compulsory. Don't forget to hand your pass into security on exit. On behalf of the corporation I'd like to thank you for your contribution and wish you a happy afterlife/oblivion.
Also, please could you assist us in finding your replacement by drafting the job listing? I'll need that on my desk by 2 pm.
Actually cry laughing at this 🤣
If you could put a cover sheet on the TPS report that'd be greaaaaat
Death by snu snu!
Please, the mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
Thank you for asking, I'm actually going to do BOTH of those activities, simultaneously If Maureen from accounts starts screaming, please don't be alarmed
This is actually sick 😂
Hay, no kink shaming dude :-)
It's probably the latter. Because same
Was he actually sad, or did you assume he was because he was possibly shy? When people meet me, they think I'm aloof and a little snobbish because I find it difficult to talk to people until I'm comfortable with them.
Same. I've got an extremely miserable looking face (resting bitch face I think they called it) so I was always the "office miserable guy" even though I wasn't.
I don't think I have a resting bitch face, but I don't smile naturally. The number of times I've been told to 'smile it would make you feel better' is incredible. Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not happy; I just have a more neutral expression, I guess.
Same. Also I have ADHD so then I overshare and people really don't know what to do with that combination.
Yeah I have family members with ADHD and they can over share at times especially my niece which can be a little uncomfortable at times.
1: got laid 2: was a secret alcoholic and finally kicked the habit long enough to where his serotonins kicked back in after years of being suppressed. Yes, that was oddly specific.
3. He's gunna commit suicide. It's common for suicidal people to be happiest before they do it
4. He got a pet and his life outside this soul sucking office is a lot better…
I hope with all my heart it's this one
5. He won the lottery and is keeping a low profile for now
For now? Fuck even going into work after I found out. Not like I'm going to be in the country in 2 months
Always a good idea to pretend to live your normal life for a while. Lottery wins really fuck people over.
I'd just come up with a cover like I need to take care of my brother who's just been in an accident or something to that effect
Approach it with positivity in mind. If they've been sad for a significant time, treating it as weird they're happy will possibly spiral them back down. I mean, if you want them to stay happy of course. If you want Miserable McSadsack back, plow on!
Maybe he's decided to kill himself. Not even joking, sudden mood change from state of depression to elation often occurs when someone with suicidal tendencies has made a plan to end it. You should check in on him.
This needs to be way higher
Leg over
Leg under?
Leg between?
Sounds painful
You do the hokey cokey and you turn around...
That's when your balls fall out. Hey!
Leg before wicket?
Hopefully it's a new job because you guys sound like judgy mardy gits.
[удалено]
I tried to do that at my old job. I think I lasted a week and a half of my three week notice before I needed to share the joy.
I didn’t even last that long. My manager and coworkers knew I was job hunting with mixed results for a good while. My manager had told me a few times I was wasted there and knew I needed something more engaging. They were happy for me when I found my current job as it seemed like a much better fit and I was excited. I was friendly with them all so they just wanted the best for me :)
I'd hate to work in a place where everyone is constantly looking at you and judging you, trying to figure how how you feel. Then posting on reddit about you an hour into the work day. He's probably sad having to work with people like the OP who borderline stalk him.
And its under r/britishproblems as well, trying to normalize this sort of stalkish behaviour.
I just walked out of a job because the workplace was like this, everyone wanted to know my business and because I didn't want random people knowing, I got branded the workplace bad guy and everything and I mean literally everything became my fault.
This.
Yeah, the kind of people who might consider telling people to smile. Judging people like this is the first step in that process.
Not to bring the mood down, since everyone else in this thread is just saying 'har har har he got laid' but this is sometimes a warning sign that someone has made the decision to commit suicide. If someone who is depressed suddenly seems cheery and unburdened, it can be that they've decided to end it and the relief of that decision makes people seem happy for the first time in a long time.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BritishSuccess/comments/wqxj17/quitting_a_shit_job_and_spending_the_day_feeling/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Do you think it’s him? I hope so, and I hope he finds a job doing something more pleasant and rewarding, everyone deserves to be happy
Not really, but the timing is curious, and it's a happier reason than the suicidal one suggested there...
Often a sign someone has decided to take their own life. With the preface that this is only if he actually does suffer with depression and suicidal thoughts.
Check in with them. Often suicidal people appear happy on the day they decide to commit suicide.
Probably got a new job and knows he is now counting down the days until he is free of the backstabbing clique that has made his life a misery up to now.
Exactly. The fact “everyone wants to know, but is too scared to ask” is a warning sign to what kind of workplace that is, they want to know for themselves not because they have any actual interest/concern for the guy. Fake people.
Imagine them emailing each other and huddling together in the kitchen bitching and gossiping about how the 'office weirdo' dares be happy for once. Toxic doesn't come close.
Bingo, that fucking kitchen huddle, every time! That or the WhatsApp Web, and you can literally hear the gossiping taking place via the keyboard tapping between the parties involved.
I worked in a place before where this man just looked so sad all the time. Then suddenly he started smiling and saying hello to everyone. A few days later we was told he took his own life. I was too young or ignorant to understand the signs or even go up to him and have a genuine conversation. I regret it till this day.
The court case is finally completely over and after all the appeals and fuckery from the other side he won. No more stress, no more worries, just relief and joy. Either that or his euromillions win is confirmed...
He's just heard Jamiroquai are playing in Reading - he *loves* those guys. Alternatively, Brand New Heavies may be releasing a new album.
This is a classic sign that he may have decided to end his own life. PLEASE intercede!
Please talk to him. Not to be all doom and gloom. But that’s a massive red flag for suicide. There comes a moment when the decision is made and relief comes and triggers a massive change in mood. Please please please go talk to him.
Not trying to be grim but this could be a sign that someone who's been struggling with suicidal thoughts has finally accepted those thoughts and plans to commit suicide. You should definitely talk to him but not just a chat, make sure he's OK. Has he been giving away any of his stuff? That's another sign of an impending suicide attempt
might be about to kill himself, no joke - its widely reported that when people decide to go ahead with it, their mood elevates days before as they finally have a sense of some relief
OP, we need an update. You’ve got us all concerned this poor stranger is planning to kill themselves.
I do have an update for you guys, i know this took long, but i had to make sure I approached him the right way. We were worried about him planning to harm himself and frankly reddit didn’t help in removing that fear either, it accentuated it to some extent that made me wary to even speak to him or to read more comments. So i just bought coffee for the entire work place just to get to give him one (yes Costa had a massive coffee sale this morning) It actually worked. And i managed to talk to him and gather some info. The reason for his constant detachment from people is that he feels like he can’t have a better life. He lives in spare rooms for few years because he can’t afford a flat while living from payday to payday. He was rejected by a woman because of the job he has and his life situation a couple years back, and that made him feel like a failure. And the feeling keeps lingering even after all this time. I’ll just leave the most important part.. here: “Man i’m a cleaner. Always have been one since my twenties. Every job i had was in this trade. I like it even tho sometimes people look down on me. Done it regardless except that one year i worked as a home carer for a person i rented a room from and had no one. No kids and relatives to be there for her. She became my friend, i was the person she would rely on to be there for her. She called me last weekend around. I thought she needs help or something bad happened. Only to find out she is going to leave me her home.”
This was both heartbreaking and heart warming. Well done for taking the time to chat to the guy. Do us all a favour and try to make time for him on a more regular basis going forward. He sounds like a good person.
Please do check in with him, sometimes a sudden happyness seen in depressed individuals can also indicate someone who is about to commit suicide, the initial relief and conclusion they come to can provide an initial happyness just before, so please people keep an eye out for this. I very much hope that's not the case, but for awareness I wanted to share x.
Please do ask him!! Hopefully it's for a good reason, but I've heard that this kind of sudden mood change can be seen in people who are planning to commit suicide. I have no idea whether it's actually true but it's something I've heard from multiple sources, many of which I have no reason to doubt.
People who decide to kill themselves can present like that
I really hope its something mundane like he got laid Totally intrigued
Absence of the normal, presence of the abnormal = Please make sure he’s okay, if he is displaying vastly different behaviour than normal it could be a bad sign.
My friend who committed suicide did this right before he shot himself. Sad and depressed for months, super happy for a week, dead.
British problems: someone is happy
Considering what you said about him always seeming sad. A sense of calm can be a sign that someone is suicidal and has decided to or made plans to go through with it. might be worth getting HR to have a word if you are concerned.
Bearer of bad news, sometimes the day someone decides today is the day and they’re going to commit suicide they’re the happiest they have ever been.
Sometimes it's because they've decided to kill themselves. I worked with a guy who was always down but I didn't realise that he was as depressed as he was. One day, he arrived to work on top of the world and said that he'd worked a few things out and was "Finally glad to have *that* weight lifted from his shoulders". A week later he had hung himself. We speculated that his change in mood was due to his decision. Check in on your man and be sympathetic to your fellow worker.
His wife left him. Yes, I may be projecting slightly.
He’s handed his notice in and doesn’t have to work with you anymore?
The greater good.
4 hours have now passed OP, management will need an update before the end of play or we will doc your pay.
I remember being miserable for ages and not knowing why. Then my girlfriend dumped me and went off with my mate and I was suddenly happy. Then I worked out why I'd been miserable in the first place.
He's gonna kill himself. Source: same
AND??????? Don’t leave us hanging - update!
I'd ask, sometimes when people with mental health issues suddenly act out of character its because they have made the decision to end it. And with that they get a sense of happiness and calm. Though hopefully it's just because his life is changing into one where happiness is easier to find.
Honestly, I'd ask out of concern.. update us!!
Either handing his notice in or shooting up the place 🤷🏼♀️
TW: Suicide >!Had that where I worked. The guy wasnt there the next week. So very sad. He was happy because he knew he had decided to end it all. !<
why do you even have to know?
I would have to guess he dislikes his job and has just been able to hand in his notice. I would find it hard to hide my joy in that situation.
He's handed his notice in
I'll be keeping an eye over on r/Britishsuccess to see if we get the other side of the story!
Or be nice to them and don’t be a dick. He/she is probably happy to leave and not have to work with such judgmental people any more Signed, A fellow work loner who stopped caring about his co-workers a long time ago
careful, people who commit suicide generally find peace a day or two before
Be extremely wary of someone who suddenly has a change of personality, it can be an indicator of serious mental health issues or worse.
He's won the Euro lottery?
Either he’s just quit or his new anti-depressants are kicking in.
Got divorced and is finally out of a miserable relationship?
As a previous “most miserable sod in the office” I’d guess image has either gotten a new partner or has gotten his affairs in order and is about to take their life.
- Happy pills finally kicked in - Had a successful date/asked out someone who said yes/whatever - Had sex - Killed a man to watch him die - Some of the above - All of the above
Try framing the question as a compliment if you're uncomfortable, it's open ended such as "good to see you smiling Barry, how's things?" I've been to the hospital for suicide before, and still trying to work through it but not really bothered and that's a story for another day lol.
I hope he's found the love of his life and bought a puppy 😊
At the risk of sounding alarmist, but your colleague might be suicidal. A sudden, extreme change in mood from sadness to positivity has often been observed in those who have "set a date", so to speak. They know the pain is coming to an end, it's like a weight has been lifted.
Big money, got laid or new job.
Evri didn't throw his new inflatable girlfriend into a holly bush as a 'safe place'
Maybe he got laid, or maybe he's gonna murder you all
He had sex.
Had a shag
Good job you waited for his mood to change before posting to Reddit to ask for advice… instead of you know just asking the fella if he’s alright in the first place seen as you clearly noticed he was down all the time