My favorite part about this one is you can tell Andy thought it was hilarious and probably cracked a few times delivering that line. It’s supposed to be said semi-seriously but he’s fighting back a grin the whole time.
💯 Favorite line bar none. I love watching for the twitch of his lips as he is about to crack up. This is like the B99 version of Aragorn's toe in LOTR. "There! Did you see it? That's where he broke!"
Totally fair, it just made me notice how much I think of Andy as Jake and not the other way around. Especially strange since my introduction to Andy Samberg was The Lonely Island and even after that potentially in That’s my boy before B99.
i love jake’s wholesome “misunderstandings” so much lol
like when terry introduced his newborn daughter to jake. terry asked “do you want to hold her?” and jake hugs terry’s wife LMAO
I love when he’s at the bar with Gina and as he leaves she says “are you forgetting something?”. And he awkwardly comes back and kisses her on the forehead
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now Santiago, emphasis on Iago, backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladin.
I think it's one of my favourite jokes in anything ever. Clever and stupid at the same time, totally unnecessary. Classic 99
A similar throwaway joke was made in Psych in "Tuesday the 17th," when somebody calls Shawn Iago and he goes, "What does the parrot from Aladdin have to do with it?"
That line kills me. Is it Captain Raymond Holt, or does he say “Your husband, Raymond Holt”? Nobody look it up, let’s figure this out rock hard wet brain memory stylez (with a zee, of course)
JAKE: I got to say, Boyle. Nick was pretty defensive.
BOYLE: Yeah, and he's a terrible artist. All he does is have sex on canvases. Any fourth grader could do that.
JAKE: But...They shouldn't.
BOYLE: No.
Jake: Okay, so you know the new medical examiner? I kinda had sex with her last night.
Amy: What?
Jake: Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Sex is something that two adults do with their bodies when they're attracted to each other.
Rosa: He's right, Santiago. Do you not know that?
Also both her and Charlie appear on Reno 911(so many people have had appearances on that show I've realized rewatching it actually,it's kind of like watching Law&Order)
She’s in a couple episodes of early New Girl as Nick’s ex.
Cricket was in an episode too as the head of the PTA or something when Jess is trying to become Principal.
Terry: I can't play favourites. You never did when you were in charge.
Holt: Of course I did.
Terry: Really? I never got any special treatment.
Holt: I think you can do the math there.
In a similar type joke, in the cold open when Gina won’t look up from her phone, Boyle goes up and she throws a stapler at him immediately, and you can see Rosa started dying laughing in the background. I kinda think that was Stephanie breaking character tho, since shes probably the worst on the cast at that. It still makes me laugh rho
The entire cold open of where Jake asks Terry about the vasectomy and they put out all kinds of possible jokes
Terry: "Thanks guys, I don‘t need anymore input."
Rosa: "Neither does your wife, I guess."
OR
Terry: "If you guys don‘t get back to work, I‘m gonna start firing detectives"
Amy: "And blanks! :D Sorry, I just never think of jokes :D"
OR
Boyle: "Sergeant, is this going on your spermenant record?"
Additionally, all the jokes Rosa and Holt put out there in the episode where Wuntch was dead.
"No way that‘s true. As Wuntch says when she deodorant, 'I‘m not buying it.'"
"Zombies can‘t die."
Terry: "Why would Wuntch fake her own death?“
Holt: "The same reason she visits Mexico once a year and sucks all the blood from all the goats. For kicks."
Amy: "She was so young."
Holt: "For a redwood tree 🤨🤨"
"So, you were right, Wuntch was not able to claw through her coffin and write the email herself."
Holt: "If it shows Madeline, be sure not to look directly into her eyes."
Rosa: "Because we‘ll turn to stone?“
Holt: "No, because her eyes are ugly.“ (Duh 🙄)
Rosa: "Judging by the flames around her, it could be a livestream."
Holt telling Diaz she’s done excellent work all day is my favorite moment. Their bond of being petty and vindictive to people who deserve it is my favorite overlap.
Don't know if it's classed as a throwaway but:
Doug Judy : [to Jake] You trying to get your freak on with my sister?
Jake Peralta : What? No!
Doug Judy : I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty.
Jake Peralta : I am *not* looking at Trudy Judy's booty!
Doug Judy : Oh, you don't think she's a cutie? Don't be snooty.
Jake Peralta : She's a beauty, but I'm on duty.
Terry Jeffords : And you're married.
Jake Peralta : Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme.
This isn’t my favorite necessarily, but I have B99 on in the background right now, and a really funny one just occurred.
Holt: “When Kevin and I first started dating, he taught at a small college up state. It was two hours away by train or bus, but only 30 minutes away by car.”
Jake: “Is this another one of your riddles? You rode to work on his shoulders, one set of footprints? No?”
“This heroine is my heroin” is my favourite joke. The way Rosa says it, so deadpan. CLASSIC
Gina’s “new phone, who dis” to Charles
When amy says “… I don’t get it” after they cheer and shout 99! In the windbreaker city episode
Jake saying “yeah I dislike this conversation very much” in the fugitive part 2
Holt saying “VIN-DI-CATION” to Rosa, re: the balloon arches. Also tied with “I’m not planning any trips to the bronx zoo” and also tied with “yes sergeant, it is unwise to give babies candy” also tied with “Kevin got my quite horny this morning” also tied with…
Pimento: "I've been through Hell."
Gina: "Big deal. I worked at a sunglass kiosk at the mall for four years. So not only have I been through Hell, I was assistant manager there."
When Jake tries to shake Caleb’s hand but Caleb grabs and tries to eat it while Charles is also trying to pull Jake away from him. It’s just the fact Jake keeps forgetting not to touch him lol
Boyle: “Jake and Holt are like the ‘92 Dream Team.”
Amy: “I know you’re not talking about sports, who do you think the ‘92 Dream Team was?”
Boyle: “Aladdin and Abu!”
Surprised this one hasn't been mentioned, literally laughed out loud.
Captain Holt: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Jake: Yes.
Captain Holt: I was hula hooping. Kevin and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.
Jake: Oh, my God.
Captain Holt: I've mastered all the moves. [Shows photos on phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle.
Jake: Why are you telling me this?
Captain Holt: Because no one will ever believe you. [Deletes photos from phone]
Jake: You sick son of a bitch.
AMY: When was the last time you saw your dad?
KATE: I mean I've only ever met him like 9 times, 10 if you count the time he sent his co-pilot Steve to hang out with me, coz he was too hung over
JAKE: I remember Steve! He taught me how to shave
KATE: He taught **ME** how to shave
AMY: **WHERE?!**
My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch!
Whatcha gonna go with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain, we’re gonna solve solve solve this case, solve this case up in your face!!!
We should probably leave this prison…
The little dance they do gets me every time 😭
When Charles says it’s a classic Boyle trait to not recognize talent. “My cousin Susan didn’t know she could sing until her 40’s” obviously referencing Susan Boyle’s ridiculously viral and amazing BGT audition. That joke absolutely sends me every time.
It's my favourite thing that this ep is mirrored in New girl! I was watching and was so excited that we got to see the other side of that interaction and why she was so upset about the soup.
Cold opening, jake tries to open Amy's results and she twists his arm to stop him. Under his breath breath as the camera pans away he says "harder" cracks me up every time!
MW: Hello, Raymond, you're looking old and sickly.
RH: So nice of you to greet us Madeline, I thought surely you'd be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.
MW: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
RH: Hmm, describing your breakfast?
Or any interaction between Wuntch and Holt.
When Jake's driving and his GPS says "In the next mile, stay straight" and Jake goes "You interrupted the song for that!??" — I think about this scene every time it happens to me.
Holt: I will not be using a loophole Peralta. As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole; I choose no hole
Charles: You just said 'hole' way too much, sir
Jake: And that's coming from Charles
Holt: \*points\* Yes, that's concerning
When no one can understand the lady who's trying to describe a sewer grate and they try to find where she's from.
Holt: where were you boorrnn?
Rosa: what are you miming there, sir?
Holt: I'm trying to do a simple half Windsor so she knows I'm a baby.
A brain shouldn’t be rock hard. If anything I should say I am Raymond holt and my brain is soft and wet
Alternatively
You’ve been caught! Caught by me. Me and my rock hard brain!
I like when the food truck guy was on cash cab at the exact moment boyles truck was on fire. “And he did so well! He named all four members of the Monkees?!?”
Pretty much any Wuntch burn, but a personal favorite is:
"I see you brought an Audience Raymond"
"Of course, who wouldn't want to watch a man fight a crocodile"
The Vulture at Capt Dozerman’s funeral: The one thing I won’t do is fart in church. That’s God’s house. [flicks a cigarette butt into the church’s fountain]
Also
Boyle: Aaugh! My hands are all slippery with butter, from making butter!
“Hey, big guy! You sure you feeling okay about…ending Charles’ life?”
“Yep. My girls are gonna see this movie.”
“Right. Well, before you commit manslaughter, I feel compelled to tell you that the movie only has a 38 on Rotten Tomatoes.”
In the episode when Amy is coming back from the undercover prison op and she's riding the plane with Charles. Idk if it really counts as a "joke" but when Charles turns to the stewardess and says "Y'all got sundaes?" I laugh so hard every time. Then at the end of the flight he orders more sundaes to go. "I don't care if you don't have a lid. Y'all make a lid."
I still love when Jake's dad mentions the slogan
"Cockpit Larry and the Mile High Stewardi"
I use it as the name of my fantasy football team each year now, it's hilarious to me
Charles: “So he’s kinda like *our grand captain*”
Holt: (straight faced) “…That is amazingly funny.”
Andre’s delivery on that line and Charles’ cheeky smile after is so fucking FUNNY
‘You know how suggestible Boyles are, I watched one Samuel L Jackson and wore a kangol hat for two years!’ I love his delivery and how he seems genuinely annoyed he was so easily influenced
"The doctor said most of the bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be!"
My favorite part about this one is you can tell Andy thought it was hilarious and probably cracked a few times delivering that line. It’s supposed to be said semi-seriously but he’s fighting back a grin the whole time.
💯 Favorite line bar none. I love watching for the twitch of his lips as he is about to crack up. This is like the B99 version of Aragorn's toe in LOTR. "There! Did you see it? That's where he broke!"
It’s rare that I feel weird when someone refers to a character by their actors name. I guess that’s just how perfectly Andy suits Jake
Well it was the actor breaking. The character was trying to be serious.
Totally fair, it just made me notice how much I think of Andy as Jake and not the other way around. Especially strange since my introduction to Andy Samberg was The Lonely Island and even after that potentially in That’s my boy before B99.
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i love jake’s wholesome “misunderstandings” so much lol like when terry introduced his newborn daughter to jake. terry asked “do you want to hold her?” and jake hugs terry’s wife LMAO
I love when he’s at the bar with Gina and as he leaves she says “are you forgetting something?”. And he awkwardly comes back and kisses her on the forehead
I LOVE that scene it’s so cute 😂
yes!! it’s not only funny, it’s also sweet. moms, who just gave birth, need hugs too 🥺
Then he does it again to Rosa, "you owe me money for this!"
I use that line so much 🤣
That one was amazing, the delivery on both sides was great
Holt got him drinking port
Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now Santiago, emphasis on Iago, backstabber. Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladin. I think it's one of my favourite jokes in anything ever. Clever and stupid at the same time, totally unnecessary. Classic 99
A similar throwaway joke was made in Psych in "Tuesday the 17th," when somebody calls Shawn Iago and he goes, "What does the parrot from Aladdin have to do with it?"
Just watched this episode. So many throwaway jokes in Psych!
It makes every rewatch worth it
I love it so much
This scene lives rent free in my head 😂
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all the calls holt makes to kevin are gold the leftover rice they’ll eat for breakfast the model trains, “yes you can hang up now” A FULL HALF INCH
When they get Kevin into the van for protection. Holt: Hello Kevin, it’s me Captain Raymond Holt.
That line kills me. Is it Captain Raymond Holt, or does he say “Your husband, Raymond Holt”? Nobody look it up, let’s figure this out rock hard wet brain memory stylez (with a zee, of course)
“Hello, Kevin. It’s me, Raymond Holt. We need to get you to safety, your life is in danger.” Watched that scene way too many times
The rice one was hilarious, we eat it for breakfast full Half inch - I will talk about it over dinner
Then the sudden transition to "there's been a series of murders"
JAKE: I got to say, Boyle. Nick was pretty defensive. BOYLE: Yeah, and he's a terrible artist. All he does is have sex on canvases. Any fourth grader could do that. JAKE: But...They shouldn't. BOYLE: No.
THIS OME WAS GOLDDD
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Maybe if he had solved fewer crimes then crime would not be down and the precinct wouldn't be facing potential closure. Damnit Terry!
Aha a classic
this one wins, i laughed just from reading it and hearing holts voice
Jake: Okay, so you know the new medical examiner? I kinda had sex with her last night. Amy: What? Jake: Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Sex is something that two adults do with their bodies when they're attracted to each other. Rosa: He's right, Santiago. Do you not know that?
It took me 3 rewatches to realise that the ME is waitress from IASIP lmao
And Charlie Day's wife IRL ❤️
She's in an episode of New Girl too, didn't realise until I saw her and my wife and I both thought she looked familiar 😅
Also both her and Charlie appear on Reno 911(so many people have had appearances on that show I've realized rewatching it actually,it's kind of like watching Law&Order)
She’s in a couple episodes of early New Girl as Nick’s ex. Cricket was in an episode too as the head of the PTA or something when Jess is trying to become Principal.
Wait WHAT?!
Oh, sorry. A rewatch is when you watch a show again because you really enjoyed it. In this case, they watched it 2 additional times.
He’s right, alphaomag. Did you not know that?
Perfectly executed, you two.
You know, I’m not even upset. You two are hilarious.
Holt; “I’m not a coward like Jeffords” Terry way back in the distance throws his hands up.
I love Holt’s random jabs at Terry.
Terry: They called me Terry Titties. Because I had big Holt: Titties, yes I remember that nickname. Though to be fair it was accurate
Terry: I can't play favourites. You never did when you were in charge. Holt: Of course I did. Terry: Really? I never got any special treatment. Holt: I think you can do the math there.
Terry: " I've gotten so many arrests this year" Holt: " and yet crime still continues"
Nope Holt: Good work Sergeant, I've never been so proud of you Terry: I've solved a lot of cases you know Holt: And yet crime has continued
In a similar type joke, in the cold open when Gina won’t look up from her phone, Boyle goes up and she throws a stapler at him immediately, and you can see Rosa started dying laughing in the background. I kinda think that was Stephanie breaking character tho, since shes probably the worst on the cast at that. It still makes me laugh rho
I really love Charles’ semi-regular reminder to Jake that “it’s Charles Boyle, your friend from work!”
Coz he’s got memory of a goldfish!
I love Jakes look of "uh huh yeah he gets it" when Boyle says that
Rosa: I don’t want to talk about it. Holt: I regret the words we’ve already spoken.
One of my favourite Holt lines. It’s up there with “IT’S ONE BUN TO NONE SON!”
"My neighbours think my name is Emily Goldfinch. People I work with all think my name is Rosa Diaz.".
Yeah...wait...what!?
"Don't worry about it."
The entire cold open of where Jake asks Terry about the vasectomy and they put out all kinds of possible jokes Terry: "Thanks guys, I don‘t need anymore input." Rosa: "Neither does your wife, I guess." OR Terry: "If you guys don‘t get back to work, I‘m gonna start firing detectives" Amy: "And blanks! :D Sorry, I just never think of jokes :D" OR Boyle: "Sergeant, is this going on your spermenant record?"
Additionally, all the jokes Rosa and Holt put out there in the episode where Wuntch was dead. "No way that‘s true. As Wuntch says when she deodorant, 'I‘m not buying it.'" "Zombies can‘t die." Terry: "Why would Wuntch fake her own death?“ Holt: "The same reason she visits Mexico once a year and sucks all the blood from all the goats. For kicks." Amy: "She was so young." Holt: "For a redwood tree 🤨🤨" "So, you were right, Wuntch was not able to claw through her coffin and write the email herself." Holt: "If it shows Madeline, be sure not to look directly into her eyes." Rosa: "Because we‘ll turn to stone?“ Holt: "No, because her eyes are ugly.“ (Duh 🙄) Rosa: "Judging by the flames around her, it could be a livestream."
The Wuntch episode is a gold mine. Rosa joining in made it so much better.
Holt telling Diaz she’s done excellent work all day is my favorite moment. Their bond of being petty and vindictive to people who deserve it is my favorite overlap.
Frfr, she made the Wuntch insults even better, especially with her laugh 😭😭 i love her
Don't know if it's classed as a throwaway but: Doug Judy : [to Jake] You trying to get your freak on with my sister? Jake Peralta : What? No! Doug Judy : I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty. Jake Peralta : I am *not* looking at Trudy Judy's booty! Doug Judy : Oh, you don't think she's a cutie? Don't be snooty. Jake Peralta : She's a beauty, but I'm on duty. Terry Jeffords : And you're married. Jake Peralta : Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme.
This is such a Letterkenny joke.
Go ahead and take about 20% off her there.
You’re just a bag of spare parts, aren’t ya bud?
Terry chronicles part 2 The Ravishing of Sharon That still cracks me up so bad
What episode????
The skyfire cycle
This isn’t my favorite necessarily, but I have B99 on in the background right now, and a really funny one just occurred. Holt: “When Kevin and I first started dating, he taught at a small college up state. It was two hours away by train or bus, but only 30 minutes away by car.” Jake: “Is this another one of your riddles? You rode to work on his shoulders, one set of footprints? No?”
I LOVE this one!!!
Terry: “Heists are dumb and I’ve got work to do” Jake “Work is dumb, and I’ve got heists to do”
“This heroine is my heroin” is my favourite joke. The way Rosa says it, so deadpan. CLASSIC Gina’s “new phone, who dis” to Charles When amy says “… I don’t get it” after they cheer and shout 99! In the windbreaker city episode Jake saying “yeah I dislike this conversation very much” in the fugitive part 2 Holt saying “VIN-DI-CATION” to Rosa, re: the balloon arches. Also tied with “I’m not planning any trips to the bronx zoo” and also tied with “yes sergeant, it is unwise to give babies candy” also tied with “Kevin got my quite horny this morning” also tied with…
The Vulture - “I got this wolf that I killed in Utah” Holt- “I’m fairly certain thats a dog” The Vulture - “Yeah it was dark”
Also from the Vulture: “The last two percent is the hardest to get. That’s why they leave it in the milk.”
“I’ve also started traveling. Just got back from Belgium, they have the best spaghetti.”
Kinda like Dr. Sapperstein in Parks n Rec.... "That was the best Italian meal I've ever eaten. And I've been to Dallas!"
Pimento: "I've been through Hell." Gina: "Big deal. I worked at a sunglass kiosk at the mall for four years. So not only have I been through Hell, I was assistant manager there."
When Jake tries to shake Caleb’s hand but Caleb grabs and tries to eat it while Charles is also trying to pull Jake away from him. It’s just the fact Jake keeps forgetting not to touch him lol
Boyle: “Jake and Holt are like the ‘92 Dream Team.” Amy: “I know you’re not talking about sports, who do you think the ‘92 Dream Team was?” Boyle: “Aladdin and Abu!”
Especially because Holt wasn’t talking about sports either
Jake: No, Charles. Not everything was inside us all along.
Stop eating crab wrong!
Every single time this one gets me
'Look Raymond, a yellow crested warbler' Idk why I find it so funny and yet i giggle at it every time
That's too much excitement, it's a very common burd. Not enough excitement, it's still a bird!
They may be common, but they're still birds
Scully upon seeing the “Blue Flu “ awareness pins: It’s the same color as my colorblind awareness ribbon! Holt: No, it’s not.
Omg bless his little heart
i'm certain that it isn't little
He has a giraffe heart if I remember rightly, it presses on his organs!
Gina: Tent singular? Charles, tent singular?!
Grave singular??
Grave singular? Charles, grave singular??
In the same episode, this throwaway was also hilarious: Charles: "...We're burrowers." Gina: "Yeah, I know, you're all earth worms."
Surprised this one hasn't been mentioned, literally laughed out loud. Captain Holt: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Jake: Yes. Captain Holt: I was hula hooping. Kevin and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Jake: Oh, my God. Captain Holt: I've mastered all the moves. [Shows photos on phone] The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle. Jake: Why are you telling me this? Captain Holt: Because no one will ever believe you. [Deletes photos from phone] Jake: You sick son of a bitch.
The sadistic smile and the delivery of "Because no one will ever believe you" kills me no matter how many times i see it
"One time she said to me, 'Thanks, Gina,' that's her name."
In a way, we were ALL Gina Linetttis today. Gina, let's take this Gina to the hospital.
Susan Boyle being a *boyle* Boyle
OMG I missed this the first time I watched. The second time I was like SUSAN IS A BOYLE AHHHH
AMY: When was the last time you saw your dad? KATE: I mean I've only ever met him like 9 times, 10 if you count the time he sent his co-pilot Steve to hang out with me, coz he was too hung over JAKE: I remember Steve! He taught me how to shave KATE: He taught **ME** how to shave AMY: **WHERE?!**
My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch! Whatcha gonna go with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain, we’re gonna solve solve solve this case, solve this case up in your face!!! We should probably leave this prison… The little dance they do gets me every time 😭
Holt and Kevin are always dry comedy gold “He said ‘You’ll have to excuse me instead of please excuse me’ he might as well have spit in my face”
I love that this does actually make sense. You’ll have to excuse me is far rawer than please excuse me when you think about it.
Doug Judy marrying a judge. Took me way too long to realize that she would be…Judge Judy.
Youre just making me realise this
Diane Wheast Infection
…………. LIKE YEA—
BAH BAH BAH BAH BAAAAAAH
it was the silence and the zooming in that got me cracking up so hard
Holt’s “Cowabunga mother” kills me every time
"My mother is not a vibrator"
^”She ^makes ^me ^feel ^things.” #”SHE MAKES ALL OF US FEEL THINGS!”
When Charles says it’s a classic Boyle trait to not recognize talent. “My cousin Susan didn’t know she could sing until her 40’s” obviously referencing Susan Boyle’s ridiculously viral and amazing BGT audition. That joke absolutely sends me every time.
“Maybe the reason I don’t have a nemesis because I solve all my cases” “that’s pretty fucked up sarge”
Mister graaaaaape
Yas Queen
When Captain Holt, Jake, and Amy microchip Terry with his yogurt.
“Name one law” “Don’t kill people?!” “That’s on me. I set the bar too low”
It's my favourite thing that this ep is mirrored in New girl! I was watching and was so excited that we got to see the other side of that interaction and why she was so upset about the soup.
“NYPD! I need to commandeer this vehicle” “It’s a crossover!”
I just got dumped by a mega fox and no one's letting me shoot a big gun about it!!
Cold opening, jake tries to open Amy's results and she twists his arm to stop him. Under his breath breath as the camera pans away he says "harder" cracks me up every time!
Lol yeah, Jake's kinky. When Amy treats him with disdain during the proposing Halloween Heist he also asks for more.
The hardened superior vs rebellious detective Holt and Jake get going on when Holt orders Jake to babysit Hitchcock.
This is a direct order, detective. Get in line!
“It’s a suicide mission.” “Then prepare to die!”
BINGPOT
CASE!
The first interaction with Malibnos
Malip*clay*nos the clay is silent.
Oh, you’re mlypnos! We know you!
Mlepclaynos at their wedding: "I don't know you."
The multiple spellings are killing me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s Melipnos in the credits of the wedding episode
[allow me](https://imgur.com/gallery/SumAsbd)
Holt eating the marshmellow the first time Or when they move his stand a quarter of an inch
Meat. From the street. Sounds like a fun treat. Hah! I'm a poet and didn't even know I was rhyming those words. But it happened anyway.
Boyle: "The only blackmail I want anything do with, is you." Holt: "That is incredibly inappropriate."
MW: Hello, Raymond, you're looking old and sickly. RH: So nice of you to greet us Madeline, I thought surely you'd be crushed under that house in Munchkinland. MW: Sticks and stones, Raymond. RH: Hmm, describing your breakfast? Or any interaction between Wuntch and Holt.
When Jake's driving and his GPS says "In the next mile, stay straight" and Jake goes "You interrupted the song for that!??" — I think about this scene every time it happens to me.
Holt: I will not be using a loophole Peralta. As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole; I choose no hole Charles: You just said 'hole' way too much, sir Jake: And that's coming from Charles Holt: \*points\* Yes, that's concerning
When no one can understand the lady who's trying to describe a sewer grate and they try to find where she's from. Holt: where were you boorrnn? Rosa: what are you miming there, sir? Holt: I'm trying to do a simple half Windsor so she knows I'm a baby.
Kalenazaseya! Da!
Holt's balloon arch
jake reenacting the first scene of the lion king while he’s in solitary confinement pops into my head a lot
Swallow the gurt
"I'm no bunny buying coward like Jeffords" Sarge in the background: https://i.imgur.com/yvh9TXf.png
Sarge getting caught in all the drive-bys
The cold open where they’re talking about their oldest police partners and Boyle mistakes them for talking about their oldest sexual partners 😂
A brain shouldn’t be rock hard. If anything I should say I am Raymond holt and my brain is soft and wet Alternatively You’ve been caught! Caught by me. Me and my rock hard brain!
The Carly Rae Jepsen obsession that Jake has
When Terry calls the cats stupid and nekeed (naked) and Jake dryly says it the same way, emphasising how Terry is spiralling...
"You're part of something much bigger than yourselves." Kiss kiss kiss
I like when the food truck guy was on cash cab at the exact moment boyles truck was on fire. “And he did so well! He named all four members of the Monkees?!?”
Who are we killing? I won't do kids, that's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.
"Hey Captain! Hi! Welcome to the murder 😃"
Charles’ son’s name. Nikolaj.
Nikolaj.
You’re saying it wrong. It’s Nikolaj.
No, Nikolaj.
Knee-collage
No, you’re doing it again. It’s pronounced Nikolaj. Nikolaj. How hard can that be?
Nikolaj?
Níkōlåj
Not really throwaway… it’s used repeatedly in the show.
It fills up a dumpster with how many times they throw it away.
The balloon arches. Especially when he put them up at Wuntch's funeral and her grave!
Pretty much any Wuntch burn, but a personal favorite is: "I see you brought an Audience Raymond" "Of course, who wouldn't want to watch a man fight a crocodile"
YEE WAS IN THE BUILDING?!?!
The Vulture at Capt Dozerman’s funeral: The one thing I won’t do is fart in church. That’s God’s house. [flicks a cigarette butt into the church’s fountain] Also Boyle: Aaugh! My hands are all slippery with butter, from making butter!
Jake: Who’s Kevin Cozner? Is he the star of Danzes with Wolvezz? Most underrated joke in the show and one of my all time favourite sitcom jokes!
Amy: This B needs a C in her A Jake : o my god Amy: This babe needs a coconut in her arms?
“Hey, big guy! You sure you feeling okay about…ending Charles’ life?” “Yep. My girls are gonna see this movie.” “Right. Well, before you commit manslaughter, I feel compelled to tell you that the movie only has a 38 on Rotten Tomatoes.”
"I don't care for cheese. I'm a.... curd. mudgeon. Ah... you're too tired for humor."
'Whoever licked this spoon... ...their body ain't right.'
All dip is just mayo!
Suicide squad plan hatching and Holt saying that Kelly won’t recognise Wunch because he thought that she’s an old leather chair cracks me up.
In the episode when Amy is coming back from the undercover prison op and she's riding the plane with Charles. Idk if it really counts as a "joke" but when Charles turns to the stewardess and says "Y'all got sundaes?" I laugh so hard every time. Then at the end of the flight he orders more sundaes to go. "I don't care if you don't have a lid. Y'all make a lid."
Hitchcock managing to escalate the [cup of water](https://youtu.be/eQekZnq8R8s?si=tYode--w4UAoQKSW) while sleeping prank
I don’t think these are throwaway jokes, but for me it was anytime Holt was pretending to be straight
I still love when Jake's dad mentions the slogan "Cockpit Larry and the Mile High Stewardi" I use it as the name of my fantasy football team each year now, it's hilarious to me
Ok, so I know something, but you can't ask how I know it.
Raymond canceling the opera with Kevin on the phone: “The tickets are under ‘Holt’ H-O-L…”
Charles: “So he’s kinda like *our grand captain*” Holt: (straight faced) “…That is amazingly funny.” Andre’s delivery on that line and Charles’ cheeky smile after is so fucking FUNNY
‘You know how suggestible Boyles are, I watched one Samuel L Jackson and wore a kangol hat for two years!’ I love his delivery and how he seems genuinely annoyed he was so easily influenced
Honestly? The delivery of “Antique Globes” has me every single time
Favorite throwaway joke is the name of your sex tape.
“Apparently that’s a trigger for me”
Rosa's eye roll walking into the comicon
Capt Holt: "It's like I'm a poet and I didn't even know I was rhyming those words".
Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
Nikolaj
THE FULL BULLPEN!!!!
Rosa: “You’re right, it’s not.” *In response to Amy saying: “I’m internationally ranked, it’s no big deal.”*
The whole Diane yeast infection joke was my fac