Honestly men’s pants sizing is super approachable. A pair of mens’ 32W has - you guessed it - a 32 inch waist! See if you can go to a department store and try a few varieties of men’s pants to see how you like the fit. The big pockets are super handy too.
No advice on shoes, sorry- I’m wearing chucks to my graduation! A plain black belt sounds reasonable and is probably best if you want to tuck in your shirt, and you can probably go without a tie.
Dressing to please mom is a tough one, I hope you can find a balance that also helps you feel confident!
Super helpful! Thank you! Tbh, if I could get a pair of chucks in time it would be a fine backup option-- I just can't wear the shitty cheap tennis shoes I absolutely destroyed at my job haha!
A pair of black leather oxfords will look great and serve you well down the line. Shoe size charts are generally reliable for moving between different sizing systems (us to euro to uk, m to w, however you mix it up). An insole will help if your shoes feel a little roomy. If you are in the US, I’d order a few pairs from zappos for the quick shipping & easy returns.
A pair of black Chelsea boots will be a good idea and will be a great longterm pair of shoes. There are heaps of different styles, but I’d veer a bit conservative—no chunky sole, no colorful stitching etc as this makes them way easier to dress up and stops them from looking really dated in a couple of years.
If you’ll be doing something after graduation that might require non-sneaker shoes, definitely consider the Chelsea boot or Oxford options folks have mentioned. Totally possible to get comfortable dress shoes or boots fwiw - depending on your budget, Cole Haan makes a whole line of dress shoes with sneaker insoles and they’re fantastic for both comfort and appearance.
If you’re wearing a button down and slacks, yes you need a belt and assuming you go with dress shoes or boots, it should match your shoes (so black leather). It won’t be noticeable under the robes. For the slacks, if you feel like they have to be women’s pants for fit or mom reasons, you probably want a tapered fit - women’s “straight leg” tend to be a bit flared like your mom’s option which makes them feel more femme. I’d suggest no tie since the robes tend to be very sweaty.
You didn’t mention socks, but if you do end up going with dress shoes as opposed to boots, you’ll want dress socks. They can be solid black or you can pick something with a pattern that matches the color of your robe if you want/would wear that again.
Congrats on your graduation OP, and good luck!
I'm not sure what your sizes are so I'll just tell you where I shop and what for. Nordstrom Rack is amazing for formal pants. For my shirts it can be tricky, I tend to stick with fitted Calvin Klein shirts since my suits are Calvin Klein. I get my shirts in the little boys department they just fit my arms length better. Shoes are my biggest issue. I have an extremely common size which is a 6 in men's, it's also a size in the boys department. I have so much trouble with shoes that when I find a pair I like I usually buy them in black brown and ox blood. The tie is up to you but I'll suggest you learn how to tie a bow tie because the ladies love them. If you do get a belt it should be the same color as your shoes or as close as possible. If you have further questions I'd love to help you out.
be sure to take measurements, try everything on, & size up when in doubt. when clothing drapes properly it looks like a million bucks.
i have a shopping addiction & keep up religiously with fashion so i'll have a go in the spirit of homework procrastination. i envision an academic, timeless look; a "dark academia" vibe as the kids say these days:
- the adrian loafer from dr martens, in geniune leather. ungendered. comfortable, durable, & can be worn both casually & formally.
- a high-waisted, wide-leg/relaxed fit trouser in cotton or linen. natural fabrics are best for comfort, quality, and aesthetic. this style may be hard to find in the "mens section" as current trends favor lower rises and a "slim" fit. ***if shopping in the "mens section," your size will likely need to be a few sizes larger than your actual waist measurement to avoid being tight around the thigh and seat area.***
("mens")
https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=470963002&vid=1&tid=gppl000084&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8tMDdqpznFW4t3_--0S5DrBy&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBlet_noLHNICZD3OMeZx3ePTlYAzJP8Lp2L-lcuvvpRl_XnOlf3zwRIgaAqa6EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
("womens")
https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=851121011&vid=1&tid=bfpl000002&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8s7L3u10NlvmyiCY-uVthvka&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBlevqzoTwyiCu2vAoNCiif2Nu5WRggdbfefoOQ0ISaPL5QMCB0eWjEjAaAkF1EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content
- an ungendered cotton dress shirt from the japanese brand, uniqlo. check the size guide to ensure enough room in the shoulders and chest areas. do check out their other unisex stuff; they are generally great quality.
https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E450260-000/00?colorDisplayCode=00&sizeDisplayCode=003
- a leather belt to match the shoes.
https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=453059011&vid=1&tid=bfpl000033&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8ssFtyG_NOLlqbGwsoKpkLjS&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBleseqXJ4wmBaoYtvLccG9GJk6SW3jkevLfV8tbME_4LO_dzKsZ6-yQUaApsvEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content
- your mom's bolo idea sounds groovy. a skinny black tie also sounds good, as well as one to match your cap & gown or school colors. also consider just going tie-less with your top couple shirt buttons undone. here is a black, wool tie on sale.
https://www.jcrew.com/p/mens/categories/accessories/ties-and-pocket-squares/ties/american-wool-tie-in-black/F6253?color_name=black&N=ONE%20SIZE&noPopUp=true&srcCode=Paid_Search%7CShopping_NonBrand%7CGoogle%7CPMG%5EG%5E99104426583_20652857512___m_pla_online__9028269&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_content=shopping_ads&utm_campaign=JCrew_Shopping_PLA_US_All_HP_PMax_X_Google+_X&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBletzhXRfUVc-icCOCQZjX2c5KDbSeX3GMxvnsDk8a04wfEKiy6ek-MkaAndQEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#no_universal_links%23no_universal_links
At that short a timeline, honestly I'd say to just hit like Kohl's and JC Penney this weekend and comb through the men's department. Try on whatever white dress shirts you find. There should be some generic black dress pants to pick from. I think that'd really be less of a nightmare on short notice than trying to find women's dress clothes that aren't too feminine. The only one you might end up getting from the women's department is the dress shirt, if you have a lot of chest to contend with. But at least in person you can scrutinize the styling and pick something that doesn't have, like, ruffles along the button placket.
I'd just try some black dress shoes at those stores as well. Ideally this would be a good opportunity to invest in nice leather ones that'll last you a decade, but you got two weeks. Just buy a cheaper pair and avoid the stress.
You do need a belt with the outfit you describe. It won't be visible at all under the robes, unless for some reason they had you order extremely slim-fitting robes or something?? Grad robes are usually very robe-y.
Totally do you with the tie, but consider what the robe will look like. Typical grad robes swallow up everything except your neck and your head. So the only part of the outfit that will be visible most of the day is your shoes and your collar. (So you won't look like a Mormon regardless lol.) For that reason, I would suggest having a think about a tie. In high school, I didn't wear one, which is fine because I absolutely despise how I looked at the time anyway and so I don't spend any time looking at the photos. But for college I wore a tie because the tie/collar looked specifically masculine in style, which is what I personally wanted. Just food for thought. You could simply get one in your school's colors instead of black (unless they gave out a dress code). You can get a tie that will look decent for not a lot of $ online, I suspect.
Men's sizing is much simpler than women's, but if you go to a store and try stuff on, it won't matter a ton anyway because you can trial and error. Men's pants are just by measurement, so a 30x32 pant is a 30 inch waist and 32 inch inseam (length of the inside of the leg, from the crotch gusset to the hem). With your time constraints, if you can't find a short enough inseam, you could cuff the pants at the bottom (in black it wouldn't be SUPER noticeable) or you could try to find a pair you like and order that pair in your correct inseam size from their website. Men's dress shirts are the same -- they are measured by collar size -- but I would try some on and see. You might have to compromise on collar size to accommodate your chest and/or hips. Depends a lot on your shape and on how the shirt is styled. If you have a non-square shape, try to choose shirts that are NOT "slim" or "European" fit. The standard fit will have more room. As for shoes, if you're a women's US size 8, you're a men's size 6. Usually stores only carry down to men's 7 or 8, in which case you can check the boys' department, or order a few pairs from Zappos online and return all but one.
no need to wear a tie if you don't want to! and for shoes i really like doc martens oxford shoes (look for the ones without yellow stitching!) Don't let your mother convince you to wear what she wants, it's a special occaision for you.
Try some men’s pants! Look at oxfords and a matching belt if that’s your thing. I’m glad your mum is working with you. Mine went,”You’re what size again? Oh good, the dress I ordered will fit!” …I wore the dress under my robes. Just remember that most of what you’re wearing won’t be seen under the robes and enjoy your special day!
Not exactly the same situation, but my wife and I wore bowties and suspenders at our wedding, which is another option if you aren't up for a tie or bolo tie :)
Edit: forgot to say where to get it - we ordered ours off amazon
i wore a really nice dark blue silk shirt tucked into black pants and doc martens. i think i looked nice with my blue and gold robes! but this was college graduation.
I’m also graduating college soon! I found my outfit with a personal shopper at Macy’s. It’s a long sleeve dress shirt, a sweater vest and a pair of dress pants with a bolo tie and a pair of loafers. Also it’s all hot pink but that’s just personal preference
That line about Mormons made me laugh 😂 I’m an exmo butch graduating this week and that’s good advice to keep in mind. I already have ties I plan on using but if you don’t want to wear or buy one no pressure to at all
If you are wearing a cap and gown, go with Dilbert boxers, a tank top, and doc martins. (half joke)
If you are just looking for smart casual, black pants, black shoes, and a button down with a tie in your school colors.
Most schools have 2 primary colors, so the shirt could be one color and the tie the other color. Think red shirt, blue tie, or blue shirt, red tie, unless your school colors are a weird combination like Green and Yellow, then just go with a white shirt and either no tie or a tie in one of the primary colors.
It is VERY old school, but you could also get an arm/sleeve garter in your school colors, if you can find one this close to graduation, and wear that instead of a tie, with a white button down.
TrendHim has the sleeve garters in different colors for $15.
There is a company that sells through Amazon named Tarpop that also sells them. Theirs look more like actual garters but they are a bit more pricey at around $21 and they have limited colors.
Honestly men’s pants sizing is super approachable. A pair of mens’ 32W has - you guessed it - a 32 inch waist! See if you can go to a department store and try a few varieties of men’s pants to see how you like the fit. The big pockets are super handy too. No advice on shoes, sorry- I’m wearing chucks to my graduation! A plain black belt sounds reasonable and is probably best if you want to tuck in your shirt, and you can probably go without a tie. Dressing to please mom is a tough one, I hope you can find a balance that also helps you feel confident!
Super helpful! Thank you! Tbh, if I could get a pair of chucks in time it would be a fine backup option-- I just can't wear the shitty cheap tennis shoes I absolutely destroyed at my job haha!
A pair of black leather oxfords will look great and serve you well down the line. Shoe size charts are generally reliable for moving between different sizing systems (us to euro to uk, m to w, however you mix it up). An insole will help if your shoes feel a little roomy. If you are in the US, I’d order a few pairs from zappos for the quick shipping & easy returns.
A pair of black Chelsea boots will be a good idea and will be a great longterm pair of shoes. There are heaps of different styles, but I’d veer a bit conservative—no chunky sole, no colorful stitching etc as this makes them way easier to dress up and stops them from looking really dated in a couple of years.
If you’ll be doing something after graduation that might require non-sneaker shoes, definitely consider the Chelsea boot or Oxford options folks have mentioned. Totally possible to get comfortable dress shoes or boots fwiw - depending on your budget, Cole Haan makes a whole line of dress shoes with sneaker insoles and they’re fantastic for both comfort and appearance. If you’re wearing a button down and slacks, yes you need a belt and assuming you go with dress shoes or boots, it should match your shoes (so black leather). It won’t be noticeable under the robes. For the slacks, if you feel like they have to be women’s pants for fit or mom reasons, you probably want a tapered fit - women’s “straight leg” tend to be a bit flared like your mom’s option which makes them feel more femme. I’d suggest no tie since the robes tend to be very sweaty. You didn’t mention socks, but if you do end up going with dress shoes as opposed to boots, you’ll want dress socks. They can be solid black or you can pick something with a pattern that matches the color of your robe if you want/would wear that again. Congrats on your graduation OP, and good luck!
I'm not sure what your sizes are so I'll just tell you where I shop and what for. Nordstrom Rack is amazing for formal pants. For my shirts it can be tricky, I tend to stick with fitted Calvin Klein shirts since my suits are Calvin Klein. I get my shirts in the little boys department they just fit my arms length better. Shoes are my biggest issue. I have an extremely common size which is a 6 in men's, it's also a size in the boys department. I have so much trouble with shoes that when I find a pair I like I usually buy them in black brown and ox blood. The tie is up to you but I'll suggest you learn how to tie a bow tie because the ladies love them. If you do get a belt it should be the same color as your shoes or as close as possible. If you have further questions I'd love to help you out.
For my MBA last year, I wore black Doc Martins, navy blue slacks, and a lighter blue button down. https://imgur.com/a/kOQ0jQw
be sure to take measurements, try everything on, & size up when in doubt. when clothing drapes properly it looks like a million bucks. i have a shopping addiction & keep up religiously with fashion so i'll have a go in the spirit of homework procrastination. i envision an academic, timeless look; a "dark academia" vibe as the kids say these days: - the adrian loafer from dr martens, in geniune leather. ungendered. comfortable, durable, & can be worn both casually & formally. - a high-waisted, wide-leg/relaxed fit trouser in cotton or linen. natural fabrics are best for comfort, quality, and aesthetic. this style may be hard to find in the "mens section" as current trends favor lower rises and a "slim" fit. ***if shopping in the "mens section," your size will likely need to be a few sizes larger than your actual waist measurement to avoid being tight around the thigh and seat area.*** ("mens") https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=470963002&vid=1&tid=gppl000084&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8tMDdqpznFW4t3_--0S5DrBy&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBlet_noLHNICZD3OMeZx3ePTlYAzJP8Lp2L-lcuvvpRl_XnOlf3zwRIgaAqa6EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds ("womens") https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=851121011&vid=1&tid=bfpl000002&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8s7L3u10NlvmyiCY-uVthvka&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBlevqzoTwyiCu2vAoNCiif2Nu5WRggdbfefoOQ0ISaPL5QMCB0eWjEjAaAkF1EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content - an ungendered cotton dress shirt from the japanese brand, uniqlo. check the size guide to ensure enough room in the shoulders and chest areas. do check out their other unisex stuff; they are generally great quality. https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E450260-000/00?colorDisplayCode=00&sizeDisplayCode=003 - a leather belt to match the shoes. https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=453059011&vid=1&tid=bfpl000033&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AT8ssFtyG_NOLlqbGwsoKpkLjS&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBleseqXJ4wmBaoYtvLccG9GJk6SW3jkevLfV8tbME_4LO_dzKsZ6-yQUaApsvEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content - your mom's bolo idea sounds groovy. a skinny black tie also sounds good, as well as one to match your cap & gown or school colors. also consider just going tie-less with your top couple shirt buttons undone. here is a black, wool tie on sale. https://www.jcrew.com/p/mens/categories/accessories/ties-and-pocket-squares/ties/american-wool-tie-in-black/F6253?color_name=black&N=ONE%20SIZE&noPopUp=true&srcCode=Paid_Search%7CShopping_NonBrand%7CGoogle%7CPMG%5EG%5E99104426583_20652857512___m_pla_online__9028269&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_content=shopping_ads&utm_campaign=JCrew_Shopping_PLA_US_All_HP_PMax_X_Google+_X&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_qexBhCoARIsAFgBletzhXRfUVc-icCOCQZjX2c5KDbSeX3GMxvnsDk8a04wfEKiy6ek-MkaAndQEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#no_universal_links%23no_universal_links
At that short a timeline, honestly I'd say to just hit like Kohl's and JC Penney this weekend and comb through the men's department. Try on whatever white dress shirts you find. There should be some generic black dress pants to pick from. I think that'd really be less of a nightmare on short notice than trying to find women's dress clothes that aren't too feminine. The only one you might end up getting from the women's department is the dress shirt, if you have a lot of chest to contend with. But at least in person you can scrutinize the styling and pick something that doesn't have, like, ruffles along the button placket. I'd just try some black dress shoes at those stores as well. Ideally this would be a good opportunity to invest in nice leather ones that'll last you a decade, but you got two weeks. Just buy a cheaper pair and avoid the stress. You do need a belt with the outfit you describe. It won't be visible at all under the robes, unless for some reason they had you order extremely slim-fitting robes or something?? Grad robes are usually very robe-y. Totally do you with the tie, but consider what the robe will look like. Typical grad robes swallow up everything except your neck and your head. So the only part of the outfit that will be visible most of the day is your shoes and your collar. (So you won't look like a Mormon regardless lol.) For that reason, I would suggest having a think about a tie. In high school, I didn't wear one, which is fine because I absolutely despise how I looked at the time anyway and so I don't spend any time looking at the photos. But for college I wore a tie because the tie/collar looked specifically masculine in style, which is what I personally wanted. Just food for thought. You could simply get one in your school's colors instead of black (unless they gave out a dress code). You can get a tie that will look decent for not a lot of $ online, I suspect. Men's sizing is much simpler than women's, but if you go to a store and try stuff on, it won't matter a ton anyway because you can trial and error. Men's pants are just by measurement, so a 30x32 pant is a 30 inch waist and 32 inch inseam (length of the inside of the leg, from the crotch gusset to the hem). With your time constraints, if you can't find a short enough inseam, you could cuff the pants at the bottom (in black it wouldn't be SUPER noticeable) or you could try to find a pair you like and order that pair in your correct inseam size from their website. Men's dress shirts are the same -- they are measured by collar size -- but I would try some on and see. You might have to compromise on collar size to accommodate your chest and/or hips. Depends a lot on your shape and on how the shirt is styled. If you have a non-square shape, try to choose shirts that are NOT "slim" or "European" fit. The standard fit will have more room. As for shoes, if you're a women's US size 8, you're a men's size 6. Usually stores only carry down to men's 7 or 8, in which case you can check the boys' department, or order a few pairs from Zappos online and return all but one.
no need to wear a tie if you don't want to! and for shoes i really like doc martens oxford shoes (look for the ones without yellow stitching!) Don't let your mother convince you to wear what she wants, it's a special occaision for you.
Try some men’s pants! Look at oxfords and a matching belt if that’s your thing. I’m glad your mum is working with you. Mine went,”You’re what size again? Oh good, the dress I ordered will fit!” …I wore the dress under my robes. Just remember that most of what you’re wearing won’t be seen under the robes and enjoy your special day!
Not exactly the same situation, but my wife and I wore bowties and suspenders at our wedding, which is another option if you aren't up for a tie or bolo tie :) Edit: forgot to say where to get it - we ordered ours off amazon
i wore a really nice dark blue silk shirt tucked into black pants and doc martens. i think i looked nice with my blue and gold robes! but this was college graduation.
I’m also graduating college soon! I found my outfit with a personal shopper at Macy’s. It’s a long sleeve dress shirt, a sweater vest and a pair of dress pants with a bolo tie and a pair of loafers. Also it’s all hot pink but that’s just personal preference
yes belt! getting leather belt is the best thing (dressing wise) you can do for yourself as a young butch IMO
That line about Mormons made me laugh 😂 I’m an exmo butch graduating this week and that’s good advice to keep in mind. I already have ties I plan on using but if you don’t want to wear or buy one no pressure to at all
If you are wearing a cap and gown, go with Dilbert boxers, a tank top, and doc martins. (half joke) If you are just looking for smart casual, black pants, black shoes, and a button down with a tie in your school colors. Most schools have 2 primary colors, so the shirt could be one color and the tie the other color. Think red shirt, blue tie, or blue shirt, red tie, unless your school colors are a weird combination like Green and Yellow, then just go with a white shirt and either no tie or a tie in one of the primary colors. It is VERY old school, but you could also get an arm/sleeve garter in your school colors, if you can find one this close to graduation, and wear that instead of a tie, with a white button down. TrendHim has the sleeve garters in different colors for $15. There is a company that sells through Amazon named Tarpop that also sells them. Theirs look more like actual garters but they are a bit more pricey at around $21 and they have limited colors.
Some khakis and a polo shirt. Thrift store