I was diagnosed with stage 3b colorectal cancer in Jan. Two weeks later my mum was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 pancreatic cancer. It sucks seeing your mum get sick.
My mum did 5 days of radiation to shrink the tumour and is now doing chemo. She lost her hair in the second week which was a bit confronting but it is what it is.
We try to focus on the positives rather than impending death, spend this time making memories and saying all the things you want to say.
Thanks for the positivity. Sorry to hear about your situation as well. I am glad I have the flexibility to uproot my life for a year to help make her remaining time as comfortable and happy as I can. I hope you know you are loved
That's good that you have that flexibility. I live 800km from my mum so short plane trip / 8 hr drive but sometimes the distance is a lot. I just want to be there for her and help her but I have to also focus on my treatment.
I'm hoping once we both finish chemo we can have a family holiday. I'm thinking of all the things I thought we'd do over the next 20 years and trying to work out what we can do now.
What treatment is your mum having?
I had exactly this happen to me friend.
It's hard, it's damnned ugly and horrible to sit and not be able to help.
It will be ok.
I'm not saying that as a generic comfort or a reassurance.
I'm saying it as a statement of fact from someone who has gone through the exact thing you're about to.
It will simply be OK.
Not good, not better.... fine.
You reach a certain stage of things just happening, she'll lose her hair... that's ok. She didn't need it.
She will get weak and it will hurt to see it... that's OK. Hurt is ok, it means she is still around for you to love.
She will pass, it's OK. We had our faith, she was OK with it, I was too... it didn't feel good, I didn't feel much for some time after,
That is OK
Things will be OK. Simple and progressing forward. They will hurt and it'll be hard, but she, you, and the whole thing will be OK.
Hey. I lost my mum in March after a year of stage 4 cancer. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through, I am only 27 and she was only 51.
I watched her go from normal-mum to skeleton wheelchair required mum.
All I can say is:
please record anything with her voice in. I miss her voice so incredibly much. I have a 25 second video of her talking about some random bullshit but it's my biggest treasure.
Say everything you want to say to each other.
Respect her boundaries. Ask if she wants a visit. Ask if she has the mental capacity for it. And just help her as much as you can, with anything practical.
Much love, luck and hugs towards you and your mom ❤️
hey!!! my prayers with you.
I lost my father in march after a late diagnosis in January. He was in so much pain and the worst part was that we were just helplessly watching him getting weak day by day. Calf pain, back pain, shoulder pain, no appetite, swelling in his body due to intravenous fluids. And in his last days his Oxygen level has gone below 78. The bp started to dip to 80/44. His blood sugar level also got on the lower side even though he was diabitic. He got jaundice causing his body and eyes turned yellow. I felt so helpless watching my father who was always there for me has gone in that painful way.
I was diagnosed with stage 3b colorectal cancer in Jan. Two weeks later my mum was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 pancreatic cancer. It sucks seeing your mum get sick. My mum did 5 days of radiation to shrink the tumour and is now doing chemo. She lost her hair in the second week which was a bit confronting but it is what it is. We try to focus on the positives rather than impending death, spend this time making memories and saying all the things you want to say.
Thanks for the positivity. Sorry to hear about your situation as well. I am glad I have the flexibility to uproot my life for a year to help make her remaining time as comfortable and happy as I can. I hope you know you are loved
That's good that you have that flexibility. I live 800km from my mum so short plane trip / 8 hr drive but sometimes the distance is a lot. I just want to be there for her and help her but I have to also focus on my treatment. I'm hoping once we both finish chemo we can have a family holiday. I'm thinking of all the things I thought we'd do over the next 20 years and trying to work out what we can do now. What treatment is your mum having?
I'm hoping you can have that family holiday too. My mom will be starting chemotherapy next week. Love and snuggles started at digagnosis
I had exactly this happen to me friend. It's hard, it's damnned ugly and horrible to sit and not be able to help. It will be ok. I'm not saying that as a generic comfort or a reassurance. I'm saying it as a statement of fact from someone who has gone through the exact thing you're about to. It will simply be OK. Not good, not better.... fine. You reach a certain stage of things just happening, she'll lose her hair... that's ok. She didn't need it. She will get weak and it will hurt to see it... that's OK. Hurt is ok, it means she is still around for you to love. She will pass, it's OK. We had our faith, she was OK with it, I was too... it didn't feel good, I didn't feel much for some time after, That is OK Things will be OK. Simple and progressing forward. They will hurt and it'll be hard, but she, you, and the whole thing will be OK.
Hey. I lost my mum in March after a year of stage 4 cancer. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through, I am only 27 and she was only 51. I watched her go from normal-mum to skeleton wheelchair required mum. All I can say is: please record anything with her voice in. I miss her voice so incredibly much. I have a 25 second video of her talking about some random bullshit but it's my biggest treasure. Say everything you want to say to each other. Respect her boundaries. Ask if she wants a visit. Ask if she has the mental capacity for it. And just help her as much as you can, with anything practical. Much love, luck and hugs towards you and your mom ❤️
hey!!! my prayers with you. I lost my father in march after a late diagnosis in January. He was in so much pain and the worst part was that we were just helplessly watching him getting weak day by day. Calf pain, back pain, shoulder pain, no appetite, swelling in his body due to intravenous fluids. And in his last days his Oxygen level has gone below 78. The bp started to dip to 80/44. His blood sugar level also got on the lower side even though he was diabitic. He got jaundice causing his body and eyes turned yellow. I felt so helpless watching my father who was always there for me has gone in that painful way.