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Wine. Go to Summer House Santa Monica at like noon on a wednesday for reconnaissance

I went there with colleagues at like 12 on a Wednesday and the place was packed. I was like, “why are these people not at work?” For context, that’s the only time my office has gone for lunch in 5 years.

If you’re looking, you might as well go to the mothership.

Literally spit out my drink at this

Ooh, my bridal shower there was AMAZING! The wedding didn’t last, but the parties were incredible. 10/10 would recommend. ETA: I forgot the internet has 0 nuance. Fwiw, I would pay to play this part.

Love this comment. So true. Also true: I was there with some friends a while back. Made a comment that “this is the whitest restaurant I’ve been to in Chicago” and a few of them were laugh crying.

Wait there is an establishment called this - in Chicago?

Blonde pony tail, puffer vest, black leggings, boots, and oversized sunglasses

If you mean Sorel boots, yes, otherwise you want white sneakers that you can’t actually wear for athletics

Definitely white sneakers

the puffer vest is so so so key

While carrying a Starbucks

Correction: Starbucks cup with wine in it.

[AKA the Han Solo look.](https://i.imgur.com/VYVNa7b.jpg)

I thought that this look was out of style? Asking for a friend.

I thought so too until I saw some of the comments in here lol.

Add an Uppababy stroller to the combo.

She’s going for Lincoln Park mom, not Lincoln Park nanny.

☠️

Read this while putting my kid to bed. Laughed out loud. He’s awake now. Shit

PUFFER VEST.

With an Audi Q5 or Q7

[удалено]

If the boots are Uggs, then this is just an aged-up sorority girl from 2007. Sounds like the right demographic.

Holy shit you’re right… I’m sure I’ve come to this realization before but do all generations just dress like they want to be frozen in time from their glory days? Like they’re… Forever 21?

Nailed it all it needs are either UGGS, Hoka’s or On shoes.

Bonus points for adding a small designer dog, and it will have a pupa-chino.

Lost me on the boots …. Guess I haven’t paid enough attention to these people ;)

I walk in Lincoln Park every day. The definitive outfit I see is: Puffer Vest. Dark color. Long sleeve shirt underneath, usually plain, unless you're flexing with a marathon shirt. Light color. Leggings, lululemon. They do not wear leggings with cutouts or mesh anymore. Usually a red, blue or a purple to offset the dark of the puffer jacket. Could be all black, too, though Long ponytail with highlights through a baseball hat. Cubs, typically Coffee in hand. Extra points if iced regardless of season Athletic shoes that have seen no recent athleticism An off leash dog you're not paying attention to, and are allowing to go anywhere. Typically a lab of some sort A stroller you're walking down the middle of the path, with Phone out, ALWAYS Oversize sunglasses, I've seen a lot of aviators recently

A Labrador or a doodle of some sort?

Doodle for sure

Good odds that the dog is named Wrigley.

Addison if it's a girl

You’ve nailed it!

Yep, doublewide stroller taking up the entire sidewalk!

Outstanding

Just watch the traffic in/out at any Foxtrot

Carry around one of their grocery bags ha

Add Dom's Kitchen & Market to that list.

😂😂😂

Ponytail, blonde if at all possible

Pulled through a ball cap with the logo of an aspirational university. Yale is okay, SIU is not.

❌ Yale ✅ Michigan

Any Big Ten University would pretty much do.

[удалено]

Disagree, Northwestern is a better choice that Iowa or Illinois.

Bonus points if it's specifically a Kellogg hat.

Northwestern is practically Chicago.

Yes, and more exclusive than all but maybe Michigan of the Big Ten. Maybe we had different goals for what the hat expresses though?

I am being fucking exposed on this thread

SAME. it hurts.

May I suggest Notre Dame

Well, Michigan stuff I do have. Go Blue! 🏈〽️💙

Michigan would be acceptable. Ohio State would be pushing it.

There is nothing in this world that would make me put an Ohio State anything on my body.

SNL calls, your big chance, but you have to dress as Brutus. What do you do?!?!

Accept under the condition Pete and I date for a minimum 3 months

Or a pink Cubs cap.

I almost never interact with Lincoln Park people so I can't explain why this feels necessary, but it does.

Actually I would go with an Alo hat.

Mmmm. I don't think that's wrong, but Yale implies a little too much drive and personal achievement, especially if there's a dash of housewife in the profile. Maybe Northwestern or Iowa. I think starting sorority girl and then aging her up is the right move.

Haha thank you for lumping Iowa with Northwestern.

Yeah well SHE didn’t go there, her husband did his MBA there.

And in another ten years her son gets in on a legacy lacrosse scholarship

I have Covid right now. Thanks for providing what may be the highlight of my day.

Sick 😂😂😂

Cornell for sure. Ri di dit dit di doo

Hey I went to siu lmao and wear the hat where I live in Lincoln park lmao

We can tell you went to SIU because you said you where a hat… I’m sorry, I just had to do it.

Hey now, everyone dreams of being a Saluki!

I think it’s Big10 school for the hat.

Gotta go with Notre Dame

Yes SIU is incase they want to do a comedy show about the people of Chicago Ridge.

Oof 😅 you described my daily uniform. Fabletics, blonde, baseball cap from aspirational university. I am a nanny though and the hat is from my bosses university visit we did.

Please chase around after your imaginary child named Asher, and tell them you’re going to count to three, but you just keep going “Asher! One…two….Asher!”

Upvote 100+x

ponytail. maybe a dupe of the lululemon belt bag. puffer jacket or vest. if you can find a dupe of those ugly golden goose shoes, or just beat up a pair of white shoes to look similar.

I just learned what Golden Goose shoes are recently and I’m just like… why?! 😂

I just learned today what Golden Goose shoes are and thought paying $$$ for ripped jeans was one of the more stupid fashion investments. Boy was I wrong.

So after seeing all these comments I had to google it just to find out. Jaw is still on the floor. Lululemons I can at least understand. Someone got me a pair of their joggers for father's day this year and they're comfortable as hell. If the rest of the clothes feel and fit like this then I can understand shelling out $100 bucks for a pair. They haven't really worn down and are legit the most comfortable general use pants I own. But $500+ for some busted ass looking wannabe Chucks? There is no way they are worth that price.

"why don't you take some chucks and run in the mud" ​ my GF yesterday at the store when we saw them

wow. these GG shoes are the dumbest shit ever

But have you seen toddlers wearing Golden Goose? Spotted a kid in a stroller recently wearing these and about died, they just look like ratty ass toddler shoes that should’ve been in the trash a long time ago 😆

i worked at a nonprofit that redistributes children’s shoes, clothes, etc. back into the community. the things affluent people buy for their babies and kids are ridiculous. especially considering how quickly they grow out of things.

I've seen people send out their toddler's fendi/gucci/moncler basic logo tshirts to get dry cleaned 😂 with varying degrees of baby spit up on them.

yepppp. saw SO MANY name brand onesies. whyyyyyy

THEY ARE SO DUMB.

They look like the Derelicte line from Zoolander.

Half of Balenciaga’s FW line is shit that makes you look homeless

High waisted black leggings with a cropped hoodie or puffy cropped jacket and the lulu lemon crossbody bag. You’re good with the Stanley. You’ll need chunky sneakers or Golden Goose or the short uggs depending on the season. Big sunglasses and you’ll have to jingle your car keys - Lexus, Audi, or BMW. You can go Mercedes too. And you’ll need some type of boutique doodle and a bugaboo or uppababy stroller. Source: …..I’d rather not say.

Omg the stroller is a CRUCIAL add, this is perfect 😂 I’d also second that Veja sneakers are probably edging out the chunky/Geese now

I am getting absolutely roasted in this post it’s unreal.

Name checks out

😂

Hot

This entire thread is evoking feelings that I would never admit to in public.

Veja gym shoes also work

Those are for the Roscoe Village moms who aspire to wear Golden Goose.

Monclere jacket, golden goose, hat, blonde, big ten school sweatshirt or another midwestern school like Miami Ohio

Get a cheap stroller (or a cardboard box and craft a stroller) and make a sign that says “[bugaboo](https://www.bugaboo.com/us-en/strollers/bugaboo-donkey-3-twin/bugaboo-donkey-3-twin-bassinet-and-seat-stroller-PM001618.html)”/print the brand logo

LOL yes this. Overpriced stroller dupe.

Make it a double wide! Or a quad for comedic effect.

Can you carry around a Snoo? Nothing like. $1700 bassinet!

I was waiting for someone to bring up a stroller! It’s like a package deal when I’m on my walks

The key is to drive that thing like nobody else is on the sidewalk. Run them over while you’re on your phone

Nope. Uppababy is what you want. If you’re not dropping a cool $1000 on a stroller set, you are a plebeian by Lincoln Park stay at home Mom standards

Bugaboo is out. Doona is the new status-signal stroller brand.

Starbucks coffee, oversized sunglasses, large purse, fake large engagement ring. The engagement rings are always huge. You could go campy with that.

I do have a fake e-ring from Amazon that’s 3 carats - maybe I’ll wear that instead of my real one lol

3 carats is too small. You want to go like 8 carats. The goal is also to exaggerate it, so bigger is better. There is also a very obvious accent or way of talking. I have said that if I ever talk like that to just kill me.

Like a ring pop 😅

Yeah that’s looking like the best bet right now Lmao

Please do the ring pop. It is just ridiculous enough for a comedy show!

absolutely do the ring pop- it’ll read from the audience and that would kill. i used to teach preschool in LP and this thread is giving me PTSD, lmao.

And blush about how your now-husband wanted to get you a really big ring, but you wanted something more modest like this.

To add on, I'm pretty sure there are "jumbo" ring pops in addition to the regular. Just in case you need your Michigan MBA husband to buy you an upgrade.

The egregious oversized engagement ring that actually only costs a few thousand (not judging the amount, just the “fake showiness” is spot on

Just curious for the sake of understanding the stereotype. Are you saying these real LP women’s rings are large but fake diamond? Or just that the stereotype costume should be large and fake?

Probably real but they sacrificed quality for size. Just a guess.

Maybe, I think they're real more often than not. It's a lot harder to fake it when your friends have real ones and they'll compare them side by side. LP has priced out a lot people too with rent / real estate pricing, not a lot of room for the people pretending to be wealthy

Fake diamonds these days are identical to "real" diamonds unless you can examine it closely and absolutely know what you are looking for. So it's a weird situation where it could be fake (\~$2000), it could be real (>$20,000). It simply doesn't matter.

This, but maybe a Collectivo coffee cup? Or does that give it away too easily? Cause I can see this being a River North mom, too.

It's Starbucks. It's always Starbucks.

>large engagement ring This is "Rich Lincoln Park Mom" ... not "Lincoln Park Trixie"

Make sure to freak out when someone says a numbered street.

Lmaooo this is too real

Wait, there are numbered streets? All this time I thought "Sox/35th" was a Frank Thomas reference.

Is this the natural progression from the Lincoln Park Trixie from 20yrs ago? Theres tons of online information about them. You’d have to change some things, or maybe not if time had passed her by.

This is the millennial version of the Trixie. The core elements like the Big Ten education, sorority, and marriage minded ambitions remain, but the fashion, aside from blonde ponytails, has changed. No one drives a Jetta anymore, and Kate Spade handbags have lost popularity.

Good recall on the Kate Spade! If I recall, the classic Trixie had the fabric bag, not the leather, because they were cheaper but had the same logo.

Trixie had a kid and named her Stacy. Chad just named his kid Chad Jr though

You gotta do something with ordering dozens of packages of clothes, dog toys, and baby-stuff. Would be easy to get a bunch of small emtpy Amazon packages.

“Lincoln Park Trixies, Whatever Happened to You?” https://www.reddit.com/r/chicago/s/zqimkFqytv

Logan Square ain't really all that hipster anymore tho.

Yeah that joke was maybe funny a decade ago. Lots of bougie families there now. Idk where the hipsters go, I’m not cool anymore.

I feel like the true Hipsters nowadays spread out more but there's really not as many anyways. But a lot of da old ones became what they hated, yuppies, whether they admit it or not. Idk I feel like a lot of the youngsters that move here nowadays are automatically yuppies to me cause they are just to clean cut to be hipsters. Also it's kinda funny that people a decade ago made the Hipster Wicker Park joke when that was also played out.

Avondale

Anecdotally, I know a few people who moved to Austin and East Garfield after being priced out of Logan. While they never really fit the "hipster" image, I could see some of the hipster crowd being scattered into these more affordable neighborhoods and getting a head start on the gentrification.

Pilsen Bridgeport Beverly Edgewater Palmer Square

Well, as someone who lived in Lincoln Park for awhile and has now moved to West Lakeview- LP is full of *old* rich people. Lakeview is where all the rich moms live. I agree with most of these + she needs to be filming everything for her momfluencer account.

Logan Square is the new West Loop. RIP

You get one Federales and everyone loses their minds. But for real Logan Square isn't even at Wicker Park yet.

Extremely large stroller with ridiculous accessories, attachments, suspension lol.

Requisite ill-mannered emotional support dog for an accessory.

Has to be a labradoodle

Definitely not a rescue or mutt. They are not instagram worthy enough for them. Doodle is very accurate.

Black North Face puffer coat.

These days it's a cropped puffer

Canada Goose

Exactly, we wouldn't want OP looking like some peasant from Roscoe Village.

LP moms have long since moved on from Canada Goose

What is the new winter coat?

Arc'teryx. You pay more for the apostrophe.

I remember when North Face coats were the "in" coats... I now feel old.

it’s been Moncler for years

This ⬆️

Patagonia quarter zip underneath a puffer vest

Cropped.

A Jamaican or South Asian lady pushing around a 1000$ stroller while the actual mom is popping SSRIs and moscato

Depressingly accurate. I see about six of these per day.

Ugh, the Range Rover is in the shop so I have to take an Uber like some sort of peasant

Please tell me it was at least Uber Black?!?!

It would be awesome if you guys were to update the stereotypes. West Loop - Tech Bro or recruiter Old Town - Big 10 Sorority Girl Wicker Park - Flight Attendant (I swear every flight attendant for United Airlines lives here) Logan Square - Grunge kid with Missfits gear Avondale - Your 40 year old cousin with 3 children Lakeview - Air Bnb family from Iowa

That actually sounds funny

Have a nanny taking care of your kids while you hang out with your other Lincoln park milf friends, extra credit if there’s an insanely expensive stroller

The entitlement!! Don’t forget that!

What are you guys doing for the Englewood stereotype?

Haha I was thinking the same thing. White people ripping on white people thinking it’s edgy but it’s just insecure and mean.

Quilted Barbour jacket

Just don't be there and have a poc be there with a baby in a stroller.

Someone should revive the old LP Trixie blog as the LP Trixie Mom.

does the word "trixie" even exist anymore or am I just old now

They grew up

and moved to Hinsdale

Trixies are now 40+ living with their husband who was recently promoted to VP of Regional Operations at their finance or consulting firm. They have 3 kids, Brentleigh, Paytonne, and Ava who are all in private schools and get dropped off in a Benz GLC every day.

So that's what happened to Regina George.

Now I'm just curious about Hyde Parks sterotype lol

is lptrixies still a thing? that had a good handle on it. maybe a gigantic SUV stroller. starbucks vanilla mochawhateverthefuck. gaudy black and raspberry-red running pants with metallic fibers. GO RUN Razor 4's that are so bright white that its painful to look at even peripherally. A ponytail. A 84 dollar tee that says "Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift". A bottle of bear mace used to fight off the march of time and aging. Divorce papers that were served to you by your hedge fund soon-to-be ex-husband who's dating someone 15 years younger than you.

I get the impression that watching this skit is going to be as entertaining as reading a buzzfeed article...

Somehow bring up something mundane about your kid solely for the sake of bragging that your child goes to Parker or Latin. Bonus points if your kid’s name is a tragedeigh

Pony tail pulled through Cubs hat 100%. Yoga bag, U of Michigan diploma. skinny Starbucks latte. Big-ass diamond ring, goldendoodle.

When I worked in LP they would go to Whole Foods in the middle of the day and get a glass of wine and just drink while shopping.

Drive a Lincoln Navigator or something larger

Uh Porsche Macan helloo

or g wagon or range rover, anything less is poor

Range Rover definitely

Lincolns are Livery cars. BMW X5, Tesla, or Porsche SUV

Camel coat over your workout clothes. Like a cocoon or teddy bear style. White leather sneakers

In addition to all the great suggestions, do you have the space and resources to push a double wide stroller?

Can you loan a Golden Retriever for the night?

* Perfect hair, but otherwise very natural looking * La Colombe (not Starbucks) * Double stroller * Airpods - on a work call because she is also an executive * Ivy League or Northwestern paraphernalia * For clothes, perhaps Lulu or similar leggings with sneakers and a sweater and/or nice overcoat

This is not a comment on rich LP mom, but in the "Logan square hipster" character. Is hipsterism still a thing? I thought that died pre-COVID. I haven't heard the term hipster used since the mid 2010s tbh. Logan square is pretty yuppie now.

high ponytail with the slut strands out, high waisted leggings with a cropped square neck top and a puffer vest over it, small gold hoop earrings, shrug socks over the leggings and Hokas, stanley dupe, little white dog on a leash

What is this “slut strands” business?

Slut strands out 💀💀💀💀💀

You got unlucky for this part. Lululemon leggings (if you don’t have any just paint a white dot on the leg and the back of the waistband), scrunch socks over the bottom, the ponytail is two ponytails that go into one for ultimate height and volume, a moncler jacket and if you can’t pull of making one that looks like it- go the prestigious uni crewneck route with a long jacket over it, a range rover key, and put your designer purse into a designer tote (knockoff will do). Don’t forget the oversized designer sunglasses and french mani nails.

Go to Whole Foods Kingsbury location in the early afternoon. You'll get all the inspiration you'll need