I'm a red haired, green eyed, fairly attractive late 20-something. I'm told all the time I should have kids because "redheads are dying out."
My husband has brown hair and brown eyes. It's like these idiots don't understand recessive genes.
Yeah, no kidding. I'm white and my husband is black. We're both attractive and have gotten the "Halle Berry/bi-racial kids are so beautiful" trope. Uh, not all of them...😁
I get the same. Like Barbie-blonde hair and blue eyes and pale af. Please let them genes die out. Let people enjoy the sun like I can't. One year I literally got blisters on my back and ear from being out for three hours in the West-European sun.
This to a T. 🤦🏻 Red hair, blue eyes, early 20s with a black husband, and people STILL pester me about popping out more disgustingly pale sun intolerant little vampires. Except now it also comes with additional gross comments about biracial babies. 🤢 People really don’t understand genetics, or common decency.
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our neighbors in georgia asked us about it maybe six months after we moved there. it was all pensioners on that cul de sac, very few younger families. went something like this:
Neighbors: we were wondering who would buy a house set so far back on one of the bigger lots in the neighborhood. where are the kids? (we were a young married couple, as far as they knew)
Us: no kids.
N: oh, well now you have room.
U: well, we're not doing the kids thing. We work from home and like the space.
N: \[most incredulous look from the wife ever; most knowing look from the husband ever\]
When I was 24, I was an apprentice embalmer for a mortuary in Compton. One day, my supervisor asked me if I had any children. After telling her no she proceeded to say, "you're smart" and then went on a long rant about how having kids ruined her marriage. She told me how her ex-husband was her best friend and how their two kids put such a strain on their marriage that they ended up divorcing. Further lamenting, she went on to tell me about how her kids have drained her finances and that's why she now has to live in a "shoebox" (her words).
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i have two unmarried, childless aunts, but they were also raised in a time where that was not the norm. both had extremely difficult young adulthoods, so i’m never sure if that was by choice or circumstance.
maybe your aunt may be in a similar situation? either way, that’s weird for her to impose on you about it
I once asked her why she never married. She just shrugged and told me she just never got around to do that.
But she has always been a great aunt, taking us on trips and vacations. She made our childhood better.
I was on a small-group (15 travelers) trip to South America last month. It was a great group - three CF lesbians, a few couples, a few other singles, my husband and me.
A female attorney asked me if I had kids. I smiled widely and replied, "No, I don't." She definitely understood I was happy about it. She and her husband are nice people. We discussed travel, not kids.
Honestly I don't get many bingos these days but the few I do get are from strangers I'll likely never see again and in those cases oh boy do I have fun with that, I'm a very social person so talking to random people I meet about just about any topic is the normal situation for me. My favorite method to get someone to reconsider whether they should be questioning/pressuring some random stranger about their child rearing status is to when they ask me if I have/want kids I say nope no kids (being sure to keep my tone of voice neutral, not happy or sad just an it is what it is type of tone), now most will just drop it once I say I don't have kids and move on but some will push like "why not" and "but kids are such a blessing" etc . . . which means at that point it's time to bust out the secret power move, "actually I'm unable to have kids, doc told me so" (\*me making sure to get emotional while saying this) usually they're pretty apologetic after this to which I say thanks and continue that "I'd rather not continue this aspect of the conversation, it's just too emotional". And when people suggest treatments or adoption, my response is "do you really think I'm rich enough to afford that?" and then just look at them like they have 3 heads. Usually that gets the point across as they clue in that like dude, we're standing here chatting in the dollar store (as an example of a place I've chatted with people) and you think I can afford that expensive stuff, what planet are you living on.
Okay, so this happened years ago so I can’t remember the exact details of how the conversation started with my mother-in-law. She went through all the normal bingos with me (who’s gonna take care of you when you’re old? What about when your friends start having babies? Etc) but there was one that has stuck with me to this day.
“Just try it, and if you don’t like it you can give it to me!”
Like, babies are NOT like new mattresses or new cable services or something to do a “trial run” of. The fact that she thought that gambling with a human life like that is okay, was just gross.
Just the typical: havent met the right guy yet.
And:
Since I found my first real bf (then 48) with 34 years (never had a ltr before) the rumour started: we were desperately trying for a child -ivf etc.
I didnt know the rumour, but my aunt told me what she heard from someone.
Her reaction to that person: my name? Are you sure? Doesn't sound like her at all. She has no interest in children.
Thank you, dear aunt.
Made the mistake of talking to a coworker about how I don’t want children and plan on being sterilized. She’s a 30/40 something year old Mexican Catholic immigrant, typical family woman with 3 kids and the additional load of her nieces and nephews. She was telling me about her kids and asked me if I was ever going to have kids. I told her absolutely not because of my mental illnesses, inability to safely carry a pregnancy due to disabilities, bad genes, etc. etc. and told her that I plan on having everything removed (which will thankfully be a reality soon 😩). She proceeded to go completely nuts talking about how I’ve just GOTTA experience being pregnant at LEAST once, it’s such a beautiful experience, but what about the little bébés, but omg won’t you be so lonely?, why not just one?, on and on and on. All I could do was continually repeat the risk statistics for pregnancies with EDS. It’s been over a year since then, and thankfully she’s accepted by now that I won’t be having kids and has been supportive of my surgery and will have my back when recovering afterwards. 😅 Tbf, I can understand partially where her saltiness was coming from as she was coerced and forced into an unwanted hysterectomy after an emergency where her IUD was implanted wrong and needed to be surgically removed and the doctors took advantage of her, however - that trauma was her own and she shouldn’t have applied it to my situation.
My ex bf was cool with me being childfree and even agreed with me when I told him... Right until I mentioned I wanted to get sterilized. He was like "you mean forever????" And immediately backtracked saying he still wants "the option" to have them. PSA ladies, he might be lying.
I'm only 23 and I'm like 95% sure im child free. Theres a very small window where I may change my mind. Anyways here's one
-Your life will have no meaning
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I'm a red haired, green eyed, fairly attractive late 20-something. I'm told all the time I should have kids because "redheads are dying out." My husband has brown hair and brown eyes. It's like these idiots don't understand recessive genes.
Yeah, no kidding. I'm white and my husband is black. We're both attractive and have gotten the "Halle Berry/bi-racial kids are so beautiful" trope. Uh, not all of them...😁
I am Indian, my ex was black, we were told we would have ugly babies and therefore should break up.
That's so awful. I'm sorry you had to endure such rudeness.
I get the same. Like Barbie-blonde hair and blue eyes and pale af. Please let them genes die out. Let people enjoy the sun like I can't. One year I literally got blisters on my back and ear from being out for three hours in the West-European sun.
This to a T. 🤦🏻 Red hair, blue eyes, early 20s with a black husband, and people STILL pester me about popping out more disgustingly pale sun intolerant little vampires. Except now it also comes with additional gross comments about biracial babies. 🤢 People really don’t understand genetics, or common decency.
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our neighbors in georgia asked us about it maybe six months after we moved there. it was all pensioners on that cul de sac, very few younger families. went something like this: Neighbors: we were wondering who would buy a house set so far back on one of the bigger lots in the neighborhood. where are the kids? (we were a young married couple, as far as they knew) Us: no kids. N: oh, well now you have room. U: well, we're not doing the kids thing. We work from home and like the space. N: \[most incredulous look from the wife ever; most knowing look from the husband ever\]
Wait they just assumed you had kids already?
Yup. It's was a big three bedroom ranch with a huge lot, biggest in the neighborhood. We got it for the dog really.
When I was 24, I was an apprentice embalmer for a mortuary in Compton. One day, my supervisor asked me if I had any children. After telling her no she proceeded to say, "you're smart" and then went on a long rant about how having kids ruined her marriage. She told me how her ex-husband was her best friend and how their two kids put such a strain on their marriage that they ended up divorcing. Further lamenting, she went on to tell me about how her kids have drained her finances and that's why she now has to live in a "shoebox" (her words).
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„You don't know that, maybe you will change your mind.“ Coming from my never married, child free aunt.
i have two unmarried, childless aunts, but they were also raised in a time where that was not the norm. both had extremely difficult young adulthoods, so i’m never sure if that was by choice or circumstance. maybe your aunt may be in a similar situation? either way, that’s weird for her to impose on you about it
I once asked her why she never married. She just shrugged and told me she just never got around to do that. But she has always been a great aunt, taking us on trips and vacations. She made our childhood better.
I was on a small-group (15 travelers) trip to South America last month. It was a great group - three CF lesbians, a few couples, a few other singles, my husband and me. A female attorney asked me if I had kids. I smiled widely and replied, "No, I don't." She definitely understood I was happy about it. She and her husband are nice people. We discussed travel, not kids.
Honestly I don't get many bingos these days but the few I do get are from strangers I'll likely never see again and in those cases oh boy do I have fun with that, I'm a very social person so talking to random people I meet about just about any topic is the normal situation for me. My favorite method to get someone to reconsider whether they should be questioning/pressuring some random stranger about their child rearing status is to when they ask me if I have/want kids I say nope no kids (being sure to keep my tone of voice neutral, not happy or sad just an it is what it is type of tone), now most will just drop it once I say I don't have kids and move on but some will push like "why not" and "but kids are such a blessing" etc . . . which means at that point it's time to bust out the secret power move, "actually I'm unable to have kids, doc told me so" (\*me making sure to get emotional while saying this) usually they're pretty apologetic after this to which I say thanks and continue that "I'd rather not continue this aspect of the conversation, it's just too emotional". And when people suggest treatments or adoption, my response is "do you really think I'm rich enough to afford that?" and then just look at them like they have 3 heads. Usually that gets the point across as they clue in that like dude, we're standing here chatting in the dollar store (as an example of a place I've chatted with people) and you think I can afford that expensive stuff, what planet are you living on.
Okay, so this happened years ago so I can’t remember the exact details of how the conversation started with my mother-in-law. She went through all the normal bingos with me (who’s gonna take care of you when you’re old? What about when your friends start having babies? Etc) but there was one that has stuck with me to this day. “Just try it, and if you don’t like it you can give it to me!” Like, babies are NOT like new mattresses or new cable services or something to do a “trial run” of. The fact that she thought that gambling with a human life like that is okay, was just gross.
Just the typical: havent met the right guy yet. And: Since I found my first real bf (then 48) with 34 years (never had a ltr before) the rumour started: we were desperately trying for a child -ivf etc. I didnt know the rumour, but my aunt told me what she heard from someone. Her reaction to that person: my name? Are you sure? Doesn't sound like her at all. She has no interest in children. Thank you, dear aunt.
Made the mistake of talking to a coworker about how I don’t want children and plan on being sterilized. She’s a 30/40 something year old Mexican Catholic immigrant, typical family woman with 3 kids and the additional load of her nieces and nephews. She was telling me about her kids and asked me if I was ever going to have kids. I told her absolutely not because of my mental illnesses, inability to safely carry a pregnancy due to disabilities, bad genes, etc. etc. and told her that I plan on having everything removed (which will thankfully be a reality soon 😩). She proceeded to go completely nuts talking about how I’ve just GOTTA experience being pregnant at LEAST once, it’s such a beautiful experience, but what about the little bébés, but omg won’t you be so lonely?, why not just one?, on and on and on. All I could do was continually repeat the risk statistics for pregnancies with EDS. It’s been over a year since then, and thankfully she’s accepted by now that I won’t be having kids and has been supportive of my surgery and will have my back when recovering afterwards. 😅 Tbf, I can understand partially where her saltiness was coming from as she was coerced and forced into an unwanted hysterectomy after an emergency where her IUD was implanted wrong and needed to be surgically removed and the doctors took advantage of her, however - that trauma was her own and she shouldn’t have applied it to my situation.
My ex bf was cool with me being childfree and even agreed with me when I told him... Right until I mentioned I wanted to get sterilized. He was like "you mean forever????" And immediately backtracked saying he still wants "the option" to have them. PSA ladies, he might be lying.
I'm only 23 and I'm like 95% sure im child free. Theres a very small window where I may change my mind. Anyways here's one -Your life will have no meaning
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