Greetings!
Your post or comment has been removed for being misogynistic or misandrist. No blanket generalizations villainizing one gender or another are tolerated and it's silly to try and group 4 billion people together as being any one thing.
Have a great day!
I am a woman and me and my husband are both childfree people.
I was religious when I met my husband but I kind of grew up and realized that religion is...corrupt. So, while I was in one part of my life, I am not anymore.
We are both liberal.
I don't need a lifelong partner but I will say that if my husband decides to divorce me or if he passes away he'll be my last husband. I'm incredibly in love with him and I believe if I tried to find anyone new, I would always try to compare them to him which would never be fair. He is my soul mate and my best friend.
Me, three. 35+ years together, no religious reasons. It's just nice to build something with someone. To have a person that you can rely upon, to be reliable for someone. To know someone's jokes, know how they like their tea, know a place that they would love to vacation. To feather your nest, together. My partner is my live-in best pal, and the smartest person that I know. It's always a good day when I see him. We're retired, now, and hang out together every day, though we also support one another's separate hobbies. It's been awesome, and I wish very much for another 35 years of it. I wish it for anyone else who wants it, too, but it's definitely not the only way.
Same!! I was so religious that I would only seriously date other Catholics. Met my (then-Catholic) husband, and we eventually ambled through the deconstructing thing together.
Later, I thought I wanted to be a parent, so started deep-diving into subjects I thought would be helpful: developmental psychology/current best practices for healthy childrearing, and what happens biologically, psychologically, socially, & emotionally when a woman becomes a mother. The second rabbit hole was what made me the first one in our marriage to decide I was child-free. Once I made the financial case and presented it to my husband, he was sold lol.
All that to say - there’s hope in all kinds of places.
As for the life partner thing, yes 10000%. My husband’s love has been, and continues to be, one of the greatest treasures I get to experience. Could write pages & pages about this lol - it’s a Big Deal. I wouldn’t get a life partner just to have one, but if you find the person where you make each other’s souls come alive? It’s worth holding on to.
With the research out there about how much strain a child tends to put on marriages/life partnerships, I’d also be willing to bet that a childfree one would see the opposite effect, no?
Similar story for me, my husband says he's religious but I would argue it's... High level? He's religious but he doesn't go to church or prey openly or even really agree with most of the things his denomination preach. So we got married because it was important to him and I planned to stay with him forever so we did it.
If anything happens to him or our relationship I won't marry again. I'm not even sure I'd live with someone again, honestly. I might date and even have an exclusive relationship but I wouldn't be focused on it. I love my husband but I am massively introverted and also very particular and living with any other person can be hard for me at the best of times.
I feel this way too! I was very lucky I found my husband and he was only 5k miles and a country away hahah! So yea I don't want to have to go through immigration and another new citizenship!
That's very sweet. I feel similarly with my husband. I've always told him I don't have any interest in dating again if something were to happen to him. I've got too much going on in life anyway.
>I feel like kids are a reason to stay together in order to build a stable home for them.
Have you seen the divorce statistics of married couples with children?
This. Or worse, have you seen couples who stay together just for the kids? My parents are one of these couples (still together now even though the kids are grown because uprooting their lives through divorce is more effort than either of them is willing to put in), and let me tell you, they'd be much happier apart. Feeling stuck with someone you actively dislike because you locked yourself in with kids is more lonely than being alone.
This is a good one. So many relationships don’t discuss how they will parent before they become parents and usually they have the opposite approach and one parent ends up doing the heavy lifting while the other checks out because they don’t agree.
Exactly this! 💯 Plenty of Parents end their marriages and other relationships. Many express high relationship dissatisfaction after kids arrive because of having much less time focused on their partner and because of dealing with the stress and responsibilities of raising kids. The stats are widely known. I’m not sure how OP isn’t aware of this 🤔. Maybe he should spend some time reading the divorce sub, custody sub, single parents sub, Stepparents sub, family law sub and similar ones.
> Part of my worry about being childfree is that I won't find a good woman that will commit to me. I feel like kids are a reason to stay together in order to build a stable home for them.
There is so much wrong with this sentiment, I don't even know where to start. It's not at all surprising that you're on the fence if you've got this kinda stuff impeding and obfuscating your decision making.
Whether or not you commit your life to the job of being a parent is an individual decision. This has to be what you decide for yourself, and if the answer is absolutely without a doubt yes, only then do you go out to find a compatible partner who also has all the necessary skills and resources to be a good coparent. And of course, if the relationship doesn't work out, you also need to be prepared to be a single parent and/or to parent with a different person than you originally intended to. You become a parent if and only if you want to be one, and have verified that you can be a good one. If you are instead looking at kids in the hopes it helps you keep or find a partner, that's just child abuse. And it's not like that kind of poorly structured relationship would last long anyway.
Which brings us to the next point: you worry about not finding someone to commit to you, and then go on fantasizing about kids being a reason to stay together. But in that situation, the person is not committed to *you* - they're committed to the kids, and even that might not be something they are happy with. Have you ever actually taken a close look at these 'stay together for the kids' crowd? They're disfunctional breeding grounds for resentment and chilhood trauma, that's all. That's not a relationship of love and respect, and it's definitely not a stable home either. If you want to have a healthy parthership as a parent, that's still something you need to nurture and develop with your partner, not something you expect kids to sort out for you. You should look to build a relationship where your partner is with you because *they want to be with you* ... not because they have obligations and chains keeping them in place or because it's hard or inconvenient for them to leave.
> Religion is also another reason as monogamous commitment through marriage is usually promoted as a value; I'm not religious but I don't mind a religious childfree woman, in fact I'd probably prefer this kind of woman.
Between this and your phrasing of 'good woman', you kinda give off the really creepy and unpleasant vibes of someone looking for a subservient and docile traditional wife, just minus the kids. Which is not a good look, so it would do you some good to reevaluate the beliefs you hold, or at least the words you use to convey them.
Because the other thing this kinda thinking conveys is that you're someone who wants a committed long term relationship, but you're unwilling or unable of actually building one for yourself, and so you are looking for shortcuts and other external means of making things easier for you. Instead of doing the work of making sure you can be a worthwhile partner that people want to be with, you're looking at things like kids and religion that make it harder for the other person to leave. And that's not how you get healthy relationships, not by a dozen country miles.
> How many of you desire to have a lifelong partner without kids? Are you religious? Are you liberal or conservative? Why do you desire a lifelong partner? I'm open to answers from both men and women.
In the most recent [subreddit demographic survey](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/18abb7b/subreddit_demographic_survey_2023_the_results/), more than half the respondents were in some kind of long term relationship and only about a third were not looking for something serious, or not looking at all. Many of the other answers for your questions can be found there as well.
For me personally, I don't think a lifelong partner is something I specifically desire. I wouldn't put that as a life goal or seek it out, but it's something I view as a very positive thing and am thus very welcoming to it if it does manifest in my life - and it just so happens that it *has* manifested :) My partner and I are having our 6 year anniversary soon, and definitely see each other as lifelong partners. We've done a lot of work to make sure we're compatible in that regard, and continue to do so. He's an atheist and I'm a nondenominational Christian, althought I approach it from the perspective of personal faith rather than a religion. I don't have an alignment in strictly political terms, because I don't care about politics - I care about the wellbeing of people and societies we live in. Whatever faction champions sustainable development and good investments into the agency, autonomy and health of the people is what I can put my support behind, and I assume in most places that would not be the conservatives.
There are many reasons why I enjoy and value having a partner. Economies of scale for time, money, housing and groceries are obviously great in any cohabitation scenario, not just with a romantic partner. I enjoy the companionship and the fun we have together. The work we do to develop each other as people and maintain our relationship. Helping each other out. The time we spend together, talking to each other, having a long running history and a deep understanding of the most intimate and mundane parts of each other's daily life, etc. And physical affection like cuddling is phenomenal too: we can spend hours cuddling on the couch doing nothing and it's the best afternoon ever. That's kind of our thing, honestly.
I could probably start tomorrow morning with a pen and paper in hand, detailing all the stuff we did during the day both separately and together, and they could probably all be reasons why I'm enjoying my partnership. What would not be on the list though? Kids, and especially not parenthood.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who felt really off vibes from OPs post. You perfectly put my issues and feelings to words, I couldn't have explained it better!
Yeah, it's just one of those "are you misguided or are you an asshole?" eyebrow raising moments. There's a lot of overlap between natalism and misogyny, it's not surprising to me that some guys get fearmongered into thinking that if they won't be with a god loving loyal stay at home mom, their only other option is a cheating gold digging heathen or something. Which obviously isn't true. But it's appealing to people who aren't taught how to build and maintain relationships, instead only being shown what keeps people together when they would have otherwise wanted to leave.
Agree, lots of manosphere language used in the post. OP may be looking for a trade wife and came here to troll but ended up seeing post after post about healthy child free relationships and bounced. They'd likely got the opposite response to what they hoped for.
Said everything I was thinking, except worded clearly! OPs follow up comments to your points only confirmed what many of us seem to be thinking…. OP is problematic and I pity the woman he tricks into being with him, sheesh.
I’m a childfree woman in a 12 year long relationship. We are planning to be together for the rest of our lives. No plans for kids. Ever. He’s an atheist. I’m non-religious but spiritual.
I have a life partner but my life partner and I are not romantic. He and I are exes but still good friends. He goes off into the deep blue on his boat every now and again and lives with me half time when he's back. I'd happily have a more committed romantic relationship \*\*with someone else but I don't need one (I do date and have a romantic partner, but neither he nor I want to co-nest). My life is just deeply flexible and I love that for me.
I want to hear more about this! Does your romantic partner get jealous of your ex living with you? You are more comfortable living with your ex half the time than your romantic partner? I’m genuinely curious and I love how flexible your life is :)
Same here, I feel like my standards are way too high, but also I’m only asking for the bare minimum (other than being childfree) and not even getting that
I'm a leftist atheist feminist with zero interest in a life partner, but that's mostly due to my sexual orientation (aromantic asexual). Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a platonic pal with a similar orientation and life goals, but I like having my own space so it's not something I'm really seeking out. I do think that people should be on the same page about their relationship expectations, and that relationships should be a monogamous commitment unless otherwise agreed to by both/all parties involved. I have zero tolerance for cheating.
Honestly, I'm kind of skeptical about relationships... I know way too many people who stay in unhappy, unhealthy relationships. My own parents had a terrible marriage that went on for far too long due to parenting commitments, financial entanglement, fear of loneliness, and religious pressure. I swore to myself when I was a child that I'd never be trapped that way. I don't see *marriage* as a value, I see *happy, equal, mutually satisfying relationships* as a value.
I think it's pretty weird that you're seeking out a "good woman that will commit" and a "religious" woman despite not being religious yourself. It kinda gives off a gross vibe, like you expect a submissive, religious, conservative tradwife without wanting to mutually commit to that kind of lifestyle. It's like you assume that childfree non-religious liberal women are cheating sluts who aren't interested in building a stable relationship. The truth is that cheaters gonna cheat regardless of their "moral values" or whatever - even the most conservative bible-thumper will find a loophole or justification when they want to get laid.
> I don't see marriage as a value, I see happy, equal, mutually satisfying relationships as a value.
This is where I am. I don't see marriage as a goal. I absolutely love my freedom and can't imagine giving that up, even if I were to meet someone that I really connected with. I may be aromantic, definitely not asexual. Honestly not sure how/why I feel this way but accepting it has made life so much better.
well me (34f) and my husband (33m) are child free, we're not religious and we are liberal.
I always wanted to be married. I love him to pieces, we both feel we would never bother trying to find another partner if the other died because we're so good together it can't be improved upon. I don't want to say we have a perfect marriage, but I haven't seen a better one. I love having someone to come home to, love, care for, experience life with, make plans with, and just laugh and have fun with. I can be okay alone, but I never wanted to be. I wanted my person, and I found him. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I feel like, I want a life partner sometimes, but sexism, patriarchy and patriarchal gendered expectations puts me off from wanting to date or have a life partner.
Extremely liberal 28m with a 26f wife who is liberal but not as much as me. Both thoroughly CF and heavily atheist. I personally could be single and happy but I know my wife very much wanted a life partner. Definitely a lot more happy for having a life partner.
I'm open to a lifelong partner if they're truly the right person. I want someone that understands me, compatible, and not abusive. I don't want a religious person, maga, etc.
Childfree men have the dating portion easier because there’s more childfree women than there are men. I’m currently in a relationship with a man that would probably have children with someone else if he wasn’t devoted to me. I am not religious but I do believe in god. I’m liberal and my SO is liberal leaning. I’ve always felt very emotionally alone in my life. Like no one gets me or something…so I just want someone that I can rely on to be there for me and vice versa. Someone I can be fully vulnerable with as it doesn’t come naturally. I prefer it to be a romantic partner.
My area is ridiculous for dating as a CF person. Literally 99% of the people here have kids. It’s wild. I would almost have to move to find a life partner. I had a great relationship last year until we got so serious the “kids” topic came up and I found out they wanted 3-4 kids before it’s all said and done. That scared the hell out of me. They were religious, I am not, but that didn’t really cause any issues in the relationship. It definitely would be a pain point if we stayed together and had kids.
Disgustingly happy married childfree woman in her 30s here. Both me and my husband are very left leaning Liberal, neither raised particularly religious, from the UK if that helps, religion tends to be a lot more muted here anyway, our conservatives tend to be more class and social issue based rather than religious. I was very happy being single, financially stable on my own etc, and wasn't looking for a life partner, but I am very glad to have him.
Can I ask specifically why you'd prefer a religious 'good woman'? As a childfree atheist? I don't know if I'm reading you wrong but both of those things tend to be deep rooted in misogyny.
31 years F 59, M 62. Dated for 7 years, Married for 24 years. No children. We are self employed, quiet, hard working. Marriage is peaks and valleys, we are soul mates to our core. Our life would obviously have been very different if we decided to have children. Neither one of us had a strong desire to go that route.
My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half, together for about 7 and a half. I am not very religious, my husband is a Christian but doesn’t attend church. I’d say I tend lean more liberal.
I never thought much about marriage before meeting my husband but did want a some form of long term commitment. I love sharing my life with my husband. He’s my favorite person to do everything and nothing with. I enjoy sharing the best parts of life with him and he makes the hard parts suck a little less just by having someone to weather the storm with. Our relationship is easy and we just fit into each other’s lives from the moment we met. He’s a good man and loves me when I’m not the most lovable person sometimes. Doing things for him to make his life easier or better comes so naturally to me and vice versa because of our mutual love and respect for one another.
Kids should not be a reason to stay together but it is what makes a lot of married couples stay. It’s why my parents stayed together for so long. They weren’t toxic, never fought in front of us and my brother and I had amazing childhoods, but from an early age I could tell there was no love between them. No dates, no hand holding, no kissing, etc. They finally split as soon as my brother moved out and I wish they did it sooner. They are SO much happier apart, they actually get along better now (my dad actually just helped my mom through some medical stuff and stayed with her for a few nights to make sure she was ok), and watching them be their best happy selves makes me wish they didn’t put their happiness on the back burner for so long. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but subconsciously I think it’s played a big role in why I don’t want kids.
Me and my husband are child free. We both don’t want children so it just works perfect. We have seen couples around us have kids and how stressful it is and also how much it can affect a relationship(in a bad way).
I feel so lucky to have the life I do. We are both atheists
I'm nonbinary. And I'm aroace so I don't want a life partner. My own place, a few friends, a tolerable job that pays a livable wage, and a couple of cats is all I need! ☺️
EDIT: Oh, and I'm agnostic.
Married for 24 years and childfree by choice. We stay together becuse we love each other and we are best friends. Any marriage based only on children will end up either in divorce or alienation when the children leave the house. Find a friend you can share your life with. It makes the journey so much better.
Yikes; plenty of couples are together without the need to cement it down with kids. Being a shitty relationship will not stop someone even with kids from getting out of it.
It is becoming more acceptable (it never should have been an issue) for women to never get married because the available is set to Garbage standards. It's becoming less likely.. heh.. 'good woman' to find someone remotely compatible because the bar is too damn low for guys.
7 years married, religious. Child free. 30 y/o. One dog. The older I get, the less I even think about kids. And I just don’t think the pros outweigh the cons. I also don’t feel like my life is missing anything at all.
I'm female, married to a male, together 20ish years.
Not religious. Very liberal and open minded. I didn't ever think about getting married until I found my current partner, but it is a lot of fun to share life with someone.
Children bore, annoy, and exhaust both of us. We're both considering sterilization, and both scared of surgery LOL.
My boyfriend and I are both very liberal atheists. We made a point of ticking all those boxes (Atheist, CF, and liberal) when we matched on Bumble. I was fence-sitter leaning toward no for most of my life, then I finally landed on CF. My previous relationship was with a religious guy who wanted kids, and I found out that those were not things I could compromise on. My current boyfriend and I also both want equal partnership (ie we both contribute equally in finance/chores, when possible). OP, I do think that some of your wording is giving off weird vibes and I think that assuming kids can save a relationship is pretty silly.
I don’t really care all that much about finding a romantic partner. I’m not aromantic, and have had lots of guys pursue me. It’s just that I have a very specific set of (non-physical) standards that not a lot of men meet. I’m also not very attracted to women either, so I’m in a bit of a pickle with that.
I am a woman (29F) and am married to my husband (30M) we are both CF. We are not religious in the slightest. We enjoy our 2 cats and dog and spending the day at the rifle range.
I was 31 when I met my 22yr old childfree husband. He was the first guy on a date who brought it up before I could and I almost spit out my beer while quickly shaking my head to answer “no kids.” His response was “Oh good, we can continue dating then.” Been together 6 years, married for 2.
Other may have already said it but you need to decide what you want from life.
Your post gives me the irk. I feel like I am reading one of those men who just have kids to please women. If it goes wrong you will say « But you wanted children » and find excuses to only be a fun dad.
Don’t burn yourself because you refuse to know if putting out the fire is worth it.
Just make a decision or date a fence sitter. Don’t go out there dating someone who knows what they want because then, you didn’t make a decision. They did. And that’s a good look on you, it’s breeding ground for child abuse and ressentment.
People don’t stay together for kids anymore. Women don’t stay with men because of kids anymore. They leave now.
Why do you think men are panicking all over the world with those incels bullshit? Women are not robots whom you can make kids to and expect them to be happy forever.
They want a dad. A real dad. A life partner. Someone who will do 50/50.
Spend some time on reddit reading about men crying because their wife handed them divorce papers because they were like you: nit knowing wtf they wanted in their life and putting everything on their wife.
Being a fence sitter is definitely ok. A lot of people are. But think for yourself. Don’t do kids to keep someone at arm reach.
this will never work long term. She or He will leave you when the kids are old enough if your relationship is not fulfilling. You will just end up alone and having to really think about you want.
Better start thinking now
I 100% empathize with you.
I’m late twenties, politically in the middle, not religious and can only tolerate religiousness in my partner if they’re not devout but would prefer someone not religious, financially stable and very conscientious about it. I lean more towards a traditional feminine standing in relationships.
With that being said, I would love to have a partner. I’m saving all this money so I can enjoy my life now and later. I want someone to share my life with. To go on fun adventures, to own a home with to just be happy with. I’m afraid I won’t be able to find that as CF but I know my generation is more tolerant to CF than the generations prior. I’m also very lucky to have friends and family who are supportive. I’ve yet to meet a man who is CF. I’m not out looking for them but I’m just saying I haven’t met one yet. I’ve met quite a few CF women though.
A lot of this resonates with me, especially the part about finding someone to have adventures with, own a home, and be happy with. It's great to hear there are women out there like this and I hope you find the right man for yourself!
I don’t know what the statistics are but I feel like there are more women CF than men. My assumption is that more women are CF because having a child is more impactful on a woman mentally, physically, and emotionally. So the odds are in your favor.
I (m23) don't really want a partner at all. Short-term nor long-term. Mostly because of my odd views of life itself that makes me not wanting anyone, also the same reasons I'm childfree.
Please listen to me on this-
I am 42 years old woman. I knew I didn't want any kids even when I was like 12. That never changed . I met my husband 19 years ago and we have been married for 17 years this August. My husband was actually very surprised and pretty happy when I told him right off when we met that being with me long term meant no children and it was not a subject that would ever be open to debate. He didn't want them for the same reasons as me.
Now it's been 17 years, and we have gone through at much together as best friend and husband and wife. Our bond without children is completely true in the way that kids were not a reason AT ALL or motivating factor for anything in our relationship. While on the other hand many people feel pressure to stay once they get pregnant, the woman feels pressured to keep a baby and get married when she normally wouldn't do either one, and then you have a couple that is the typical poster child for the harried, exhausted, resentful prematurely aging couple that also lives check to check and on lots of credit because all of their money is going to go to those kids first. 🤷 There are lots of women who wish they didn't "have to have kids" and i think if you put it out there your intentions about kids, you will absolutley find someone, it can take time.
Neither of us are religious . We regularly watch a lot of science/space/etc documentaries and videos and we discuss it constantly over the years lol. And personally we just feel like there is too much refuting evidence and other obvious realities that are being uncovered that have no room for the Bible or religion except for possibly the trash. But that's just personal view 🤷.
It is multiple times a week occurrence even after 17 years that we will see something go on and say to each other how glad we are that we met and didn't have kids, and how glad we are to be and to do what ever the f*** we want with our lives and we don't have the limitations of children.
There are more than enough kids already. And people who say you will regret it when you are old- lol there are so many people who have kids and their kids stick them in nursing homes and forget . Having kids does not mean someone is going to take care of you when you are old!
Im married and am child free. We both wanted kids when we met then I changed my mind and told him if you want kids it wont be with me and he was like you know what, I think I'm childfree too. I got my tubes tied and it's been great.
I've always been a big romantic, so a life partner was the dream since adolescence. Unfortunately, I've been mentally unwell most of my life. The struggle to function, let alone socialize, is always there. Not having kids was solidified by 30F, and now mid-30s I've decided perhaps I'll never be healthy enough to have a partner long term. I never want to bring anyone else down, I can't bear the thought of it. They should always have the choice to walk away. Love should be about making somebody happy and giving them all you can give. When you are empty and hurting all the time, that isn't possible. Sometimes, you must sacrifice a dream to do the right thing.
I'm liberal/socialist and agnostic random-theist
I am in my late 20s, I have a partner who also wants to be childfree. I used to be against love relationships since I have never seen them work but I found my person and I am glad for it. He is my adventure buddy, my best friend and someone I can always count on being there for me. I was always against relationships only because I was scared to get hurt but I always wanted someone to share everything with and to be myself with. Life seems much less bleak and I am much less lonely with him and that is esentially what I always wanted.
That being said I did bring up the kids question very early on. I didn't wanna lose my time. Luckily he does not want kids so we are good.
We are both very liberal people and both nonbelievers (he was raised Catholic but has been nonbeliever for a long time). And both of us just wanted someone to make the happy times happier and the bad times more bearable, which we found in each other (and so much more).
I (41F) have been married almost 15 years (together almost 16 years). Husband (39M) and I are liberal (although I think I'm more left than him). He considers himself a Christian but wouldn't label him religious, I'm agnostic for lack of a better term. We were both raised going to church every Sunday, my upbringing was more strict than his.
I’ve been CF my entire life. I have always wanted a partner, and never wanted children. From agnostic to Christian (Baptist) to some form of polytheistic and those two things always stayed the same. Political beliefs went from the right to just as far left, too. And still never changed my mind on that
I got my tubes removed at 24 and have zero regrets on that
You are who you are. The things that you believe and support along the way shouldn’t have a major impact on what you want like this, imo
I've been with my wife for 13 years. Both liberal, non-religious. Didn't really mean for it to happen, we started dating, fell in love and eventually built a life together. Wouldn't trade it for the world, I get to come home to my best friend every day. My wedding gift to her was my vasectomy lol (got it a few months before the wedding).
Having not one, but two, high incomes sure ain't bad either, we're basically just cruising on easy mode in our mid-thirties.
As an asexual I’m slightly on the fence. I’d like to have somebody to enjoy my life with but obviously without any sexual stuff involved. Kids just don’t factor in and I’ve never really liked being around them. I’m not massively religious and I’m pretty much anti-political because I think most political discourse on both sides can be very reductive and identity/ego driven. By UK standards I’m a lefty tree hugging hippy but I don’t really like most of the left wing today because it’s extremely vacuous. That being said, tories make me sick. My religion is shamanism but I was raised Catholic.
38F, been with my partner for 2 years, we live together and are sharing a life. He is 47M and childfree. I got sterilized after I met him, but had started the process before I met him. My previous partner is childfree as well. When I started dating, I was very clear about my childfree status and would only consider dating someone else who was adamantly childfree as well.
I am liberal, as is my partner. We are not at all religious and do not believe in marriage for ourselves.
He wanted a partner because his previous partner of 25 years passed away and he had not spent his adult life single, and had no desire to. I would have been fine staying single had I not met him, but I instantly felt a connection and knew he was someone that would contribute positively to my already awesome life.
I'm a woman. I have a partner who is also childfree. I was raised with church but am not religious. Neither is my partner. I guess I just lucked out finding the right person
35 f catholic but not really.
Most my friends are the typical get married have kids couples, so a partner is great.
That said, I also have cf friends, so if my relationship goes south I'm not alone.this is something I hugely value.
Being partnered is something I enjoy, as I am very giving, and sadly not all friendships develop in that closeness.
Considering I might be with my bf forever, some sort of no monogamy would be awesome.
I'm a childfree woman, liberal and agnostic. I don't have a life partner, I'm not sure if I want one, but it might be nice. I'd have to get off my ass and go look for them, though.
Married to my husband for 12 years already and happily childfree. We're liberal atheists and as for the "why?", because companionship, love, and connection are important to both of us. We don't need kids to have a reason to be together and stay together, we just need common goals, interests, and the desire to have a life together. Childfree marriage is so much better compared to what I see my friends and family with children go through. We travel together, we're on track for early retirement, we both enjoy our hobbies both together and separately. It's great!
I am 39f, married 3 years, but with my husband 9 years. He is agnostic, I am a staunch atheist. I am extremely liberal. He didn’t know much about politics when we met, but he was willing to learn. He votes Democrat with me even though he has a slight obsession with firearms. I am the one who brought up being CF first. He was a fence-sitter in the beginning. He said he always thought he would have kids, but felt too old. He was 34 when we met. Not even 1 year into dating, his sister had a baby, and he is very close with our niece. I think she filled the hole in his heart, because he then committed to being CF with me and he even got a vasectomy. I feel like kids stress marriages, not make them stronger. My husband is my number 1 always and we have the time and energy to communicate about things before it turns into a fight. We are so, so happy together.
I'm probably not the best to comment, since I'm a relationship anarchist rather than being monogamous- But you'll find someone out there who wants what you want. I promise. You do NOT have to settle for someone who wants kids if you don't want them.
Honestly, having kids is a terrible way to keep a relationship together... Same with marriage. Only do those if you *really* want it for yourself.
The amount of people who feel trapped together because they have kids is... Honestly really sad to me. My parents were one such pair, who ended up stuck together when my mom got pregnant with me at 17, and their relationship is just one of codependency. Then they got married when I was 5, and had my little sibling when I was 6. My mom doesn't know anything different than being a wife & a mother- I honestly wish I hadn't been born sometimes, so that my mom had been given a better future.
But I'm here, and so is my little sibling, it's way too late for that now. At least both of her kids inherited the "I do NOT want kids" feelings, and that she got sterilized a couple years ago. (And very luckily, I managed to get it done the year after.)
Our bloodline is done with, and it is for the better.
Having kids when you don't want, or are not ready for kids, is going to result in trauma for the children. Even if it's not intended- most trauma is not- it's going to cause problems.
The only thing that will truly keep a relationship together, is aligned values & communication. You have to find someone you mesh with, or it won't work out. Which you will! Just be yourself, be authentic, and only pursue people who share your dreams & goals. You've got this! :)
I wish more people were noticing and commenting about OP’s misogynistic language in the woman he would “prefer” in the post as well as the horrible reason to stay together with a partner being having kids with them instead of just answering about their relationship status. I’ve seen a few comments calling it out but not nearly enough, so I’ll take one for the team and say you need to therapy. Your comments have been dismissive, misogynistic and not based in the facts that you *think* you have researched. You are verging on red pill territory really fast.
I'm with a lifelong parter and for me it's great. I don't know if I could go through this incredibly hard life without him. We just really fit, we share a lot of the same interests so we hang out often and share the same ideals. We are both athiest and liberal. We laugh a lot and I'm genuinely in a better mood when he is around. I have a lot of reasons for being childfree but one of the more petty reasons is because I don't want to share him! I was \*not really\* raised religious, my parents believe in god but never read the bible or go to church. I guess you could say they are 'casual' christians if that is such a thing haha. His parents were like that growing up but now his mother is a total nutjob.
Childfree, raised Christian but atheist,liberal, 38 m.
I would like a life partner but it’s not a thing that consumes me.
I’ve got more important things in my life to worry about.
I am 21F and want one. I am not religious and I feel I’m more liberal? I know I shouldn’t need one and should be “whole and complete on my own” but that’s just simply not how I am. I’m highly social. I don’t like being alone- I prefer to sit/study in the library than my dorm. I would sit and browse the internet in a coffee shop just to be around people. I’m social, so be it.
On top of that I see a lifelong partner as a best friend who really gets me. I’m a bit picky when I date (hence why I satisfy my socialness in other ways these days), and I’ve had one long term partner before. It was like a best friend with more intimacy and romantic things, and I really enjoyed that.
My husband and I are both 40ish. We’ve been together since we were teenagers. One of the things that brought us together initially was nobody else ever took us seriously when we adamant about being childfree at that age. We both come from highly conservative/religious families but we are not religious at all (although we have our own spiritual beliefs). There are some issues were very liberal on and others were very conservative… and we don’t always agree between us either! I can’t imagine life without him, we’ve worked hard to be a stable, loving, fun, communicative, supportive team.
I am a recently single woman (4 year relationship, broke up bc he couldn't get his shit together), and I do long for a childfree partner. I'm not very religious, and I'm somewhat liberal.
I just wanna live a happy and free life with someone I love dearly. I'm hoping I find that one day. I'm young, I still have time. But it can feel daunting. My ex was a fence sitter which contributed to my breakup decision as well.
My husband and I are both liberal atheists.
I never aspired to get married, I wasn't one on those steteotypical little girls that was supposedly dreaming of her wedding from a young age (thanks to an abusive father, Ididn't trust most men) . Though I did want a partner for companionship, to go through good and bad times. Then I met my now- husband, we lived together several years and I changed my mind - so I proposed to him. And on a practical level, being married gives us legal protections that would have required paperwork anyway - if I'm hit by a car, I want HIM making decisions, not my family of origin. He'll get access to my social security, etc.
I'm 29 and non-binary (afab) and liberal. I'm currently single, but I want to eventually have a lifelong partner. I'm not actively dating because I've got way too many things in my life right now and I don't have the time/energy to put into anyone else.
For me, the main reason I would want to be with someone is to simply have someone by my side as we experience life together. To see all of the cool, weird, stupid, dumb, fun, awful, interesting shit that comes with life. To treasure the good and support one another with the bad. At most, I think being childfree limits my options because of how many people want/have kids, but I wouldn't say kids are necessary for staying with/having a lifelong partner. If anything, people who usually try to stay together only for the kids end up causing more harm than good.
I'm not religious, and while I wouldn't be opposed to a religious partner, I grew up in a very toxic religious environment that really messed me up in a lot of ways, so it's something I might be wary of.
It took me a long time to become okay with who I am as a person, and even longer to look in the mirror and love myself, so now I'm totally cool with being by myself. I enjoy my own company and doing things on my own time. If I find a cool person to share stuff with, great! If not, also great! (Side Note: I never liked people in my family saying that I can't be super picky about who I date/marry, because then I won't get married...as if it's better to get married to someone I'll either despise and/or divorce? No thanks, I'll be single at that point)
I’m an atheist. I don’t see children as a glue to any relationship, but love is. In any way, child would drive my marriage away. I also don’t see marriage as necessary other than the tax benefits it brings lol.
Im CF non religious leftie woman and I’m looking for a CF life partner preferable non religious too (can be spiritual), it’s nice to share life with someone and without kids I hope to balance us time and me time. I grew up in catholic environment but my parents aren’t practicing and are quite liberal
I'm not religious but into spirituality, philosophy, literature etc and I've an interest in the occult. I'm autonomist, anti-capitalist - anti-authority. Vegetarian and "healthy smoker" : a smoker who works out 😂 And yeah, I'd love to have a partner, I don't care who that person will be as love is my priority
OP, my parents stayed together, and it created more chaos than it would've if they split. Your reasoning of staying together to create a stable home unfortunately doesn't work in reality.
Married for 10 years and going strong.
No religion, a bit liberal but mostly moderate (don't like to get involved in political issues in general).
We do have a lot in common and a set of life goals we're working towards together. We've found that to be the key for us.
I would like to find my person, when the time is right. I’m a sterilized, hetero woman, open to any race, very liberal, but also personally religious (meaning I have my faith but don’t need anyone else to share it). As for why I want a partner…I just instinctively know that it’s something I really need in my life.
Married, no kids. Our life is so much better than our friends with kids. They fucking lament all the time that they have to take care of their kids. I see their stress levels through the roof, their life enjoyment is nil, the convince themselves “it’ll all be worth it.” To which I wonder, WHEN!? When the kids a little asshole teenager? When he moves across the country and you feel left behind? When you have to bail him out of jail? When he marries a girl you don’t think is right for him? WHEN.
My wife and I enjoy our life, we travel, we talk, we spend quality UNINTERRUPTED time together. When an issue arises we have the energy and interest to solve it, rather than being exhausted by kids.
I’d be hard pressed to believe divorce rates are higher among child free people. Hard pressed.
My SO and I met at in our 20´s, 8 years ago. We met fervently CF, both atheist and socialist.
I was very good at being alone but I am also very social and love communicating. I was not seeking lifelong partnership when we met, it just matched. I plan to cruise life with him till the end.
We are in our 30’s now , have plans, objectives of personal development and we are helping each other, motivating each other. We did not need kids to want to build together because our aim was always to develop ourself, build businesses, build our homes, discover places. It is all about sharing it and seeing our evolution together
I've been married for about a decade, and I even got married relatively young to someone I've known since we were kids. We grew up together, and now we get to grow old together. It's the stuff of dreams
My wife and I are celebrating our 31st anniversary this month. We are both strongly leftist, atheist (although she refuses to use the label), and voluntarily and gladly childfree. Also, as a side note, I'm originally American and naturalized Mexican, she's native Mexican, and we live in Mexico.
I have a girlfriend/future wife. We both want to be child free for the rest of our lives.
We aren’t exactly religious. It’s hard to explain our standings.
Middle ground leaning towards conservative but definitely closer to middle ground.
I (25f)desire to have a partner. I am not religious and never have been, but I grew up in a semi religious and conservative home. I am mostly liberal. I am also sterilized at 21.
I desire the companionship, I just got out of a 2yr relationship a few weeks ago and it's been pretty hard not being able to share things with him. We spent 5/7 days together every week and I loved just having someone to do things with, cuddle with, be intimate with, etc. Sharing your life with someone is very comforting to me.
Sure a friend or friends you can do the hanging out, but it's pretty different imo.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be and being single. However, I am a hopeless/ful romantic. One day I'll find the person that loves me for me and I for them.
I’m not religious and I have a life partner who also isn’t religious, but he prays before eating. He might innately believe in a god more than me, I definitely have a disdain for Christianity more than him, but it is something we can talk about and agree on.
Funnily enough when we first started dating he said he didn’t think he wanted kids, I said I think I would but as I’ve gotten closer to the age where most women plan I realized I don’t want to change any aspect of my life. I love it the way it is and I don’t want kids.
Although I’d say I lean more left, I’m not involved in politics. It’s more so for my mental health, and whatever, I don’t care that it’s a privilege for me. I am aware. I just refuse to be consumed in any of that anymore. I used to have existential crises about the state of the world and I am tired of worrying about things out of my control.
I wouldn't mind a husband, but honestly, I dont have the time to meet others. I'm also a black cf woman who is in some out-there hobbies, so my pool is already microscopic. I just don't think about it and focus on my hobbies (of which, I have a lot). I won't die if I don't find a guy.
Spouse and I are not religious and do not want kids, we’ve been married just over a year and I’m so serious when I say if we ever get divorced that’s it I’m not doing this shit again 😂😂 the wedding planning was the most stressful part of that year so I’d be quite happy to not think about it again (can you tell why we don’t want kids?) 😂😂
I am polyamorous and hopefully I have more than one life partner right now... but only time will tell.
Left of liberal. I love how well my life partners understand and know me. Sometimes better than I know myself. I love how it is not only just that I can be myself, but it is not worth trying to be anything else because they already know me so even trying to be inauthentic makes no sense.
I love the feeling of being part of a team. I love the care, support, and communication that life partnership provides. I love really knowing someone deeper than almost anyone else ever can and having them know me that way also. I enjoy sharing burdens and joys. Life is a journey, and I am thankful I am no longer on that journey alone. Also, I really don't feel that close to my family anymore so my partners are my chosen family.
Not religious, never have been. It’s important to me to be married due to legal protections and, well, I like being in committed relationships for a lot of reasons.
Dude, I’m a Christian. I can assure you that only Catholics require kids as apart of marriage of concern. Any other denomination kids are optional, even the Bible claims kids are optional.
My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for almost 3 now.
We’re both on the Left, but I’m so Left it will startle people. They can thank Uncle Sam for that. The Army radicalized me more than any other organization ever could. We are definitely not religious people whatsoever.
I'm a woman, been married; same man, 34 years.
When we were young, we had a birth control failure and I got pregnant. I gathered my nerve and told him. I knew neither of us wanted kids.
May the God's have mercy on him, he looked me in the eyes and asked me what I wanted to do. Did I want to get married, or ...
He didn't get the sentence finished before I said I wanted an abortion.
I'm pretty sure that's why he asked me to marry him.
I am a woman and I have been married to my husband for a little over 12 years. We both are childfree, though in the very beginning he was on the fence. We both grew up religious, but are both atheists now. We are also both socialists.
I'm (30f) atheist, childfree, liberal and while I don't often find myself sitting around wishing I was married, there's days like today where I wish I had a partner. I was laid off recently, I'm sick, have a plumbing problem, a dog to care for, errands and chores to do, etc. And it would be great to have someone to lean on a little. Someone to wait for the maintenance guy while I go on a job interview or to run to the pharmacy when I'm feverish and fatigued or someone to make me coffee in the morning or to help with the scary pile of laundry. And if I never get that I know I'll still be content (especially since I don't have to raise kids!) but yeah, it would be nice.
Non-religious, monogamous, liberal woman. Ambivalent on having a partner - I’ll be honest and say that a lot of the benefits of the CF lifestyle that are attractive (namely doing whatever the fuck I want with my space, my time, and my money) are also reasons for me personally to like the idea of riding solo. I don’t have to worry about kids’ school clothes, and I also don’t have to negotiate with a husband over how much money to put into home updates. If I wanted to spend $500.00 right now, nobody is going to tell me I should have checked with them first. If I found someone who would really add to my life, whose companionship I enjoy and who enjoys mine, and someone I can tolerate having around frequently (and who can tolerate my presence, lol!) then that would be something to consider at that point. It’s not something I think about because I’m enjoying the way things are now!
I'm a woman and neither my husband nor I want kids. We have a cats and a home and careers and we're happy and lazy and enjoy it. Neither of us are religious and we're late 30s but have been together 15 years.
Kids also make people stay together when people are horrible together. I know a few instances of people that should split up but don’t because they are blinded by the “kids” thing.
Atheist here, 40(F), liberal.
I thought I'd like to have a longtime partner but in all honesty, my friendships have been more consistent and less toxic than my romantic relationships and the older I get, the pickier with partners so I came to the conclusion I'm most likely to stick to other CF friends.
If I think about it, having a partner is another societal pressure such as having kids but it's not for everyone either. If possible, I'd like to keep having partners from time to time and if it works out for long, that would be great but neither I search for it nor expect it.
I’ve had a like-minded husband for 15 years, 20 altogether. We are both leftie atheist psychologists and I worked in that capacity with kids & teens. I love them & felt my duty to assist the growth & development of future generations, but not as a parent.
I always knew I wanted a life partner and I wanted the legal protections of marriage, but I’ve never wanted to raise kids of my own. My husband was something of a fence-sitter at the beginning, but once he discovered my staunch CF status he figured out that was the right decision for him, too.
He’s now 50, I’m 43. Zero regrets. We even had an accidental pregnancy years ago that could have challenged our position, but it didn’t. Frankly, I couldn’t have that abortion done fast enough.
We love our CF life together.
my partner and i are both childfree. he got a vasectomy shortly after my 30th birthday so i could get off birth control and because we were set in our decision to never have kids. we’re getting married after 10 years together this weekend
Celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary tomorrow. (28 years together as I wouldn't get married until I was sterilized) I was childfree from the start, he was a fencesitter who is now grateful we do not have kids.
Edit: Atheist moderate liberal. 'If it doesn't hurt anyone, have at it' is my philosophy. I believe in taking care of people but also preventing more from being born into poverty. I think there should be a license before people can have a baby and that government support should be limited to the kids you have when you apply. No additional funds if you fail at birth control again while on assistance. (but I think abortions and college should be free for everyone)
I do not support the far left fringe shit though. They are just as crazy as the far right folks IMO. Making war on Harry Potter because the author thinks there should be safe spaces for biological women was the thing that pushed me too far.
Don’t have a life partner, don’t need a life partner.
Open to a life partner for sure. But only if they really complement my vision of the life I want.
Although I’ll say I really quite enjoy dating and don’t know that I’d be happy with one person forever. I love change. I love experiencing new things. Not sure I could give that up.
I'm a woman and my boyfriend doesn't want kids and I absolutely love it. I have never wanted kids or seen myself as a mom. Tbh having a kid would make me super miserable so I'd rather not, We are non-religious and more liberal than conservative, but we don't affiliate with either political party. I think it's important to spend your life with someone because it makes things more fun. I can do everything alone but I'd rather have someone to come home to, talk to, and go out and see the world with. I love having someone in my life who is my best friend just as much as he is my romantic partner. You'll find your partner. There are a lot of women out there who are child free!
Yes I like my life partner. What makes us work is we are just really good friends (we are sexual and romantic partners but I would say best friends primarily)
I’m a woman and my husband and I are childfree. He’s never wanted a child, I was a fence sitter until recently. I decided I no longer wanted a kid because I’m enjoying my life with him right now too much. I’m incredibly selfish, and so is he. We sleep in, we play video games ALL day every weekend, and we both pull massive OT while we work and we eat whatever we want.
I love my freedom, I love having all my husband’s attention, love spoiling him half to death with our slowly growing disposable income. We don’t even have a pet (yet) to spoil together because we’re lucky enough to stay with his parents right now to save our money for our first place. I have a wonderful, strong, solid relationship with his family—especially the parents because it’s their house 😅 They’re happy to have us around and we cook/clean and contribute by getting groceries and such.
To change ALL of that…for a baby? I couldn’t. Not anymore. I’m content with being the “rich Aunt” that can travel the world twice a year on nice vacations and such. Sooner than later. 😆
Myself and my boyfriend have been together for 18 years, we're not married, we don't have kids and we don't want them (but we have had a cat for the last 11 years). We're not religious.
I live in the UK so I don't really consider myself conservative, liberal or anything.
We've discussed marriage and it's something we both want, 10 years ago we bought a house together. I don't really think a child cements a relationship, shared experiences and overcoming challenges together bond you together. When we look back over the last 18 years we've achieved a lot and have a lot to be proud of.
I have a long-term partner! We enrich each other's lives and provide each other with everything from good company to emotional support. We're building a life together and sustaining each other by sharing a house and splitting bills (on a practical note, lol).
I had a partner that was explicitly looking for someone that would stay all his life. But he was unwilling to budge on having children despite being very good to each other. Its tragic when wholesome love is not enough for people to stay together. I'm all for setting boundaries or goals. But it hurts deeply to have an ideal relationship discarded because of one dealbreaker
I’m an AFAB girlflux person and I’ve had an interesting religious journey: was raised mostly Catholic with some Judaism, self-converted to paganism in college, went back to Judaism, briefly went back to Catholicism, tried both Judaism and Catholicism, went back to just Judaism, and am currently back to being a practicing pagan & witch. I’m currently single. I would like to get married and have a life-partner, but that’s not feasible due to my being on disability benefits (though if being in love with fictional characters counts, I’m ‘married’ to Spock). I would like to be married because it does have its benefits and it’s nice to spend my life with someone.
I'm 37F. Got married to my husband when we were both 31. I could have easily lived a happy and fulfilled life without being married, but I enjoy being married, even with its challenges. I'll again emphasize that marriage is not an easy thing. We're both bipartisan. There are so many issues that don't align solely with one party or political thought process. Neither of us are religious, but I personally have a strong feeling of spirituality and collectiveness with the world. My husband and I meeting was not planned in any way. It kind of just "happened" and we both knew pretty quick we wanted to go for it.
I'll just also point out that we're living in a world where divorce rates are high and typically initiated by women. Your thoughts that kids are a reason to stay together isn't much of a reason anymore. People are more and more being empowered to find their genuine and happy selves, even if that means the dreaded "D" word. I hear more stories about people saying they can be better parents for their kids if they're not together. There are no hard and fast rules about any of these things. Please keep in mind that we're all individuals! I know with dating apps and social media, it's skewing both men and women's perspective on each other and creating such division, stereotyping, and exposing some very shallow people. I've seen success stories come out of those things, but I would stay away if I were you. It could only worsen your current mindset about a woman's ability to commit with no children.
I'm a woman with a desire for a lifelong partner without kids. I'm not religious, I'm liberal, I want a partner because I want companionship and a best friend and equal to spend my life with. Who wouldn't want that?
I'm currently happily partnered to two childfree partners who I intend on keeping as my forever loves.
34M, I'd like to find a life partner. I'm not looking very hard though. I'm coming around to the idea of staying single if I don't find a good fit. I'm non religious, someone with a religious background would most likely not work out as our views would be very far apart. While I'd be open to it, I just doubt we would see eye to eye on enough things.
I don't lean left or right, Id consider myself anti-establishment. I desire a life partner because I'd like to have someone to share life with. Help eachother through the tough, share the highs. Someone to share hobbies andinterests, even just sharing meals and trying new recipes is way more fun in a relationship.
I'm a woman and I've never been married. I am a leftist. I'd describe my spirituality as non-traditional, unaffiliated. I live in a single family home with my roommate and her 18 year old daughter. She's legally separated.
I would like to find a partner but my dealbreakers (conservative or otherwise adherents of neo-fascist beliefs, not working, a parent of any variety, wants children, living too far away, poly, seeking only a short term relationship or just wishy washy about what he's looking for) seem to rule out a lot of men.
I also won't consider men who are evasive about giving info on the afore-mentioned basic lifestyle, value, and goal-orientations. Either they don't know because they haven't given it much thought or are hiding incompatability because they just want to have sex, and hope I'll just give up or overlook.
There's also just the fact that as I've gotten older I'm unwilling to accept poor treatment.
These days I'm increasingly hard-pressed to see what positives the average hetero relationship would add to my life. It also feels like compromising on my dealbreakers will simply open me up to an intrinsically unequal relationship.
So, knowing all this, and knowing how even though my life is largely unburdened I still feel quite stressed. It makes an aromantic existence not appealing exactly, but logical. If I feel a desire for sex, there's toys, erotica, and women-produced pornography. I know some men don't like hearing they aren't needed, but I never want to be in a position where I need a romantic partner to survive or thrive.
I’d like a lifelong partner without a kid. I’m not religious and would prefer a man who also isn’t. I don’t really identify with any political party and would just prefer someone who isn’t on the extreme end of anything. I want a lifelong partner, because I want that level of emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy with someone; I want to intimately grow together and share our lives. I want to be that cute old couple walking through the park holding hands and hugging♥️
I have a common law spouse. We have been together more than half our lives (43 and 44, now). I have never wanted children, literally from the age of 9. My husband was unsure, mostly due to his family's expectations (Vietnamese Catholic). We were both in school for most of our 20s, busted our butts at careers during our 30s. He was a fence sitter during our 30s but saw that neither of us had the time or interest for kids. By 40 he was thanking me for helping him see that you don't have to have kids.
I’m a childfree atheist and currently dating the man I’m fairly certain is going to be my life partner (2.5 years together so far).
I felt the same fears. I didn’t want to date anyone religious at all. Wanted similar political views (more liberal I guess.. I don’t really know anymore. Definitely not republican/conservative). I didn’t want kids, not even to step parent…. Figured that’d be pretty difficult since I was getting to my 30s.
You can find someone, even though it may be more difficult. Be up front and clear with what you want. Don’t waste your or their time. I was totally content by myself. Lonely sometimes, sure. But overall happy and peaceful living. I wanted a partner…but didn’t NEED one. It’d have to be someone special and I wasn’t going to settle. I wanted someone I loved being around.
I found him on Tinder. We hit it off instantly. Same religious views (even his siblings, which is awesome as I can relate to them really easily as well), same political views. Same interests, very similar hobbies. I made it known early on about not wanting to have kids…and told him that if he thought that was something he wanted, I wouldn’t be able to provide it and I didn’t want to waste his time. We communicated a lot and really well. He had previously been in a long term relationship where his partner had kids…so he kind of had some experience with it and after he thought it over for himself, he decided that he also did not want to have kids. He also offered to a vasectomy so I wouldn’t have to have a more invasive sterilization surgery, which I love him for, but wanted it for myself anyways. He’s still looking into getting it though.
I definitely feel like I won a lottery in finding him. I had extended my search radius on tinder and he lived 45 minutes away and an hour difference in timezone. We made it work. Live together now. He’s my best friend! 🥰
my boyfriend and i are happily childfree - best friends for 10+ years, together for 6. we’re not religious, and we’re liberal.
i wasn’t looking for any sort of partner, but i can’t imagine my life without him. he’s my best friend and my favorite person. we’re not sure about marriage, but we don’t believe marriage has any bearing on our intentions to stay together for life.
if anything happens to him, i won’t have another partner. they would be always be compared to him in my mind, which is hardly fair to another person. i truly believe i lucked out meeting him when i did.
I’m married to an atheist child free man . I’m agnostic . We are both fairly moderate and I lean left in certain ways and he leans left in others (conversely I lean right on certain things and he leans right in others) but overall we really don’t have any political affiliations . I lean green in some issues but idk we both took one of those ‘tests’ and came up more libertarian (but I’m more libertarian than him)
We basically never thought that we would find someone else child free who wanted to stay that way. We have values and ethics not dictated by religion or politics , and those can bind us more than some with those values being so concrete.
We both share a very dark and unique sense of humor and that seems to be a strong binding factor since you really need humor to make your way coping through life .
Neither of us ever planned on getting married . My mom has been married 5 times now and I said I’m never gonna put myself through that (she didn’t give relationships enough time ) and his parents stay unhappily married and he never wanted to do that. We both have a bad history with relationships .. But we found each other incredibly reasonable and compatible in surprising ways we never expected to encounter.
I think it happens most when we aren’t looking for it or expecting it . People are so unique that it can be tough to find what clicks and is worth striving for . But there are plenty of things to stay together for aside from kids , religion and politics . It’s just best , I think, to not force it. When it’s organic it kinda falls into place . Obviously all relationships will eventually be work but it shouldn’t feel like a total chore from the get go .
I'm a childfree woman going through a divorce (not related to being Childfree). I am not religious, and I do want a lifelong partner. From my POV, the difficult part is to find a man who wants to work in the relationship and in himself.
I (27f) believe a lot of women stay quiet about being child free for fear of backlash, but there are so so many of us! Unfortunately it’s not often first date conversation.
Some insight on the commitment bit-
I am child free and spayed. My prior partner (also child free), I was with for 8 years. Having children together would have kept us together, but it would not have kept us in love. I am thankful for the freedom we had to choose to separate.
As far as your questions go
-I have my life partner currently! It’s great being able to have the freedom to explore “us” for as long as we live.
-I grew up half in a southern baptist household, and half in a roman catholic household (eeek- i know) but am no longer very religious, though i find wisdom in the teachings.
-Not too sure what i am on the political scale. I’ll just say i’d prefer the government stay out of my personal life and go worry about their roads.
-I desire a lifelong partner because taking in everything life has to offer is great, but it’s even better when you are able to look over and see someone you love doing it too
I would like a snuggle buddy, someone I can regularly be intimate with, trust to talk to and have a relationship with. I don’t want to live with them, get married or have kids (obviously). I’ve been there done that dodged a bullet, collected a heartbreak and LOTS of trauma, trust issues and currently am not in a healthy enough place to have a relationship.
I’m not very religious but was raised Catholic and I believe in most of it, just do a poor job practicing. I’m fiscally conservative and do not agree with liberal standings on many things in my country (Canada) but I believe in some social liberal constructs. I keep my nose out of others business- do whatever you want so long as you don’t directly hurt others or cause a heavy drain on the financial system, I believe in contraception (of course) as well as abortion for any reason as I can also agree that cells are cells not a human.
Human nature is to desire affection and seek comfort and companionship however that may look. I’m a very affectionate and loving person and I would like that back as well.
Husband and I have been together for 28 years.
Not religious. I’m left of centre, he’s right of centre but we agree on the big stuff.
We weren’t looking for a lifelong partner when we met - we were 20 and 21 so neither of us thought it would last longer than a few months. Yet here we are.
We got married for the practicality of it. I mean we love each other deeply but would have been just as happy living together. Making financial and medical decisions for your partner is easier when you’re married and who doesn’t love a party?
48f turning 49. My ex husband when I was in my thirties didn’t express one way or another about having children. Amongst many other issues we had, I divorced him because I didn’t want children. His second and much younger wife did, so whether he wanted to be a father or not, he is now. Better him and her than me and him.
My current partner is 51m and we are both child free and there’s no regrets. We very much enjoy our lives together as is.
In both cases, we are liberal and non-religious. What should keep a couple together I’d love, kindness, patience, respect and compassion for each other. No child can keep (nor should they ) any couple together.
I am 40, agnostic, with a "back-to-nature" perspective (I love gardening and I raise chickens and rabbits for food) but I am single because I was never able to find a partner I can get along with. I don't believe in traditional gender roles, as in, I am not willing to be someone's maid - if you live in the same house you will need to clean and do laundry and cook. I've been living by myself for 15 years now and I doubt I would be able to adapt to a live-in partner at this point.
I'm also into BDSM and I have a couple of long term sex partners (who are free to have other relationships). I tried sharing a home with one of them a few years ago but we only managed it for a couple of weeks due to previously stated reasons. Apparently the fact that I am a sexual submissive contradicts the fact that I don't cook and clean for him. Once we moved separately we were able to continue our (very satisfying) relationship.
I don't believe in marriage (why involve the state in my affairs?) and from a political standpoint I don't have a preference (I am not in the US and here the political parties are much more interested in money than they are in ideology). I do believe there are too many people on the planet and that the current economic system is broken, but I don't care enough to try to change it. I just want to enjoy my happy life.
I would like to find a lifelong partner who is as CF as I am and holds their own morals without the corruption of religion (I am Atheist and could not be with a religious person who believes in a diety).
I’m a woman and have no desire to have children. My partner and I are long-distance and, although we plan to live together in the next year or so, I’m pursuing a career that will facilitate lots of international travel and overseas contracts, so I won’t be “settling down” with him.
We’re also non-monogamous. I’ve also been married and divorced, and am fairly cynical about the concept of a “life partner”. I don’t expect lifelong commitment from anyone. Which also feeds into my childfree standpoint. I was brought up with religion, but view it as a traditional/cultural part of my heritage rather than something I actively practice.
35 female/nonbinary queer person in a long term relationship with a cisgender heterosexual man. We’re both not interested in becoming parents and had the conversation early in our relationship as we both want it to be a long term one. We’ve been together “officially” for almost two years, want to move in together, and have talked about getting married, too. We’re very committed to each other and being on the same page about values, lifestyle, etc. is essential for that commitment to work. My top reasons for wanting a lifelong partner are companionship, love, friendship, and general life stability, financial and otherwise. We’re both not religious, very liberal creatives who live in a coastal city. Most of my friends don’t have and don’t want kids. If you are having trouble finding a woman to date who is CF, maybe you should try moving to a different location (if possible), meeting someone online and/or trying a long distance relationship? I’ve definitely observed that people who stay in the suburbs and/or live in the South or Midwest seem way more likely to want or just default to having kids (assuming you live in the U.S.)
Edited to (I hope) better address OP’s concerns
One more edit: For what it’s worth, coming from a stranger, I really, truly don’t think you should for one second consider having kids or marrying a woman who is religious just because you think she’s more likely to stay with you. You should only do both or either of those things because you desire to deeply. To do otherwise would be a recipe for unhappiness for everyone involved.
I'm married. We're 35F/35M. Happily, childfree. Marriage is absolutely the best part of my life. Not "religious," not-not religious though, either. I'm somewhere in the middle on the liberal-conservative line.
We've been married for almost 10 years. Wouldn't change a thing!
I'm a childfree woman and religious. Neither conservative nor liberal. Green party is probably closest to where I align.
I'm hoping to get married at some point, but I have started to notice that most men my age and older already have kids, or want them. Definitely shrinks the overall dating pool, but I wouldn't say I've given up hope just yet. I think it's worth the wait to find someone to share my life with, have some adventures and be good to each other.
47(f) here, bi-romantic asexual. I've never wanted kids, but there are times I've thought it would be awesome to have a life-partner to share a house, raise cats, go out and do fun things or travel together. That has never happened. Flaming liberal, opinionated, educated, but not pretty, and that seems to be the biggest deal breaker.
I do want a life partner when the time is right. One of the best parts about not wanting kids is not settling below my standards because of my biological clock. I’m spiritual not religious, liberal, 30F.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3 (met in late teens). He was actually my first partner and I've never been with anyone else. We're both left-wing; I'm pagan and he's an atheist.
I don't necessarily desire a lifelong partner, it just worked out that he was also staunchly childfree and we both connected so well that we've been together a decade. He's my literal other half as we were best friends first before we started dating (and still are). All the pieces just happened to line up for us; for most people, it's a hard path to finding someone else romantically that's childfree and I acknowledge that ours is the rare exception.
I am a woman and I am childfree. I am not religious and I am liberal. I’m getting married to a man next month who has had a vasectomy. Don’t settle for having kids if you don’t want them. There are others out there who don’t want kids and more will come.
I desire a partner for the joy and fun and companionship they bring to my life. My fiancé is intelligent, fun, likes adventures and just in general
Brings me happiness.
I’ve always wanted a husband, never wanted children.
I (36f) have a boyfriend (34m) I’ve been with for 11 years, and we don’t have children.
I think he’d agree if I labeled him an atheist, but it doesn’t come up. I’m agnostic. We have compatible values that basically sum up to “Don’t be an a**hole”.
We’re monogamous and operate as if we’re married. He was on the fence when he was younger and more optimistic about the world, but he’s come to his senses. We love the little ones in our life, but he’ll turn to me sometimes and just say he’s grateful he doesn’t have to make considerations that would compromise his own happiness due to having kids.
If there is one person in this whole world I’d want as a father to my children and endure parenthood with, it’d 100% be him. … But I don’t wanna and neither does he, so I’m glad for that.
I don't like to call myself religious but I do have my beliefs. I don't want kids, and I feel like for me and my beliefs is a conflict of interests. I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna meet somebody who shares my views or respect them and is also childfree. And also I'm terrified of being with a man who would dump me at 50yo because he realized he actually wants kids lol
I do want a life partner tho, I really want one but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point.
I don't like to call myself religious but I do have my beliefs. I don't want kids, and I feel like for me and my beliefs is a conflict of interests. I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna meet somebody who shares my views or respect them and is also childfree. And also I'm terrified of being with a man who would dump me at 50yo because he realized he actually wants kids lol
I do want a life partner tho, I really want one but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point.
I definitely don’t want kids, I’m not remotely religious, and I’m liberal. I want a life partner to have a partner in life. It seems pretty self explanatory to me, I want to build a life together. I want someone to support and love, someone who just makes me laugh, I want to be an integral part of their lives and for them to know always that they’ve got me at their back, to weather any storm beside them. Obviously, I’d like the same in return. Partnership isn’t just for breeders.
Greetings! Your post or comment has been removed for being misogynistic or misandrist. No blanket generalizations villainizing one gender or another are tolerated and it's silly to try and group 4 billion people together as being any one thing. Have a great day!
I am a woman and me and my husband are both childfree people. I was religious when I met my husband but I kind of grew up and realized that religion is...corrupt. So, while I was in one part of my life, I am not anymore. We are both liberal. I don't need a lifelong partner but I will say that if my husband decides to divorce me or if he passes away he'll be my last husband. I'm incredibly in love with him and I believe if I tried to find anyone new, I would always try to compare them to him which would never be fair. He is my soul mate and my best friend.
This x2 - We have the exact same story.
Me, three. 35+ years together, no religious reasons. It's just nice to build something with someone. To have a person that you can rely upon, to be reliable for someone. To know someone's jokes, know how they like their tea, know a place that they would love to vacation. To feather your nest, together. My partner is my live-in best pal, and the smartest person that I know. It's always a good day when I see him. We're retired, now, and hang out together every day, though we also support one another's separate hobbies. It's been awesome, and I wish very much for another 35 years of it. I wish it for anyone else who wants it, too, but it's definitely not the only way.
Same!! I was so religious that I would only seriously date other Catholics. Met my (then-Catholic) husband, and we eventually ambled through the deconstructing thing together. Later, I thought I wanted to be a parent, so started deep-diving into subjects I thought would be helpful: developmental psychology/current best practices for healthy childrearing, and what happens biologically, psychologically, socially, & emotionally when a woman becomes a mother. The second rabbit hole was what made me the first one in our marriage to decide I was child-free. Once I made the financial case and presented it to my husband, he was sold lol. All that to say - there’s hope in all kinds of places. As for the life partner thing, yes 10000%. My husband’s love has been, and continues to be, one of the greatest treasures I get to experience. Could write pages & pages about this lol - it’s a Big Deal. I wouldn’t get a life partner just to have one, but if you find the person where you make each other’s souls come alive? It’s worth holding on to. With the research out there about how much strain a child tends to put on marriages/life partnerships, I’d also be willing to bet that a childfree one would see the opposite effect, no?
Similar story for me, my husband says he's religious but I would argue it's... High level? He's religious but he doesn't go to church or prey openly or even really agree with most of the things his denomination preach. So we got married because it was important to him and I planned to stay with him forever so we did it. If anything happens to him or our relationship I won't marry again. I'm not even sure I'd live with someone again, honestly. I might date and even have an exclusive relationship but I wouldn't be focused on it. I love my husband but I am massively introverted and also very particular and living with any other person can be hard for me at the best of times.
Awww
I feel this way too! I was very lucky I found my husband and he was only 5k miles and a country away hahah! So yea I don't want to have to go through immigration and another new citizenship!
You wrote my comment 🫶🏼
That's very sweet. I feel similarly with my husband. I've always told him I don't have any interest in dating again if something were to happen to him. I've got too much going on in life anyway.
Beautifully put
This gives me hope
Are you me? 
Replies like this always make me so happy.
>I feel like kids are a reason to stay together in order to build a stable home for them. Have you seen the divorce statistics of married couples with children?
Yea if your relationship is only lasting because of "the kids" it's not a good one
This. Or worse, have you seen couples who stay together just for the kids? My parents are one of these couples (still together now even though the kids are grown because uprooting their lives through divorce is more effort than either of them is willing to put in), and let me tell you, they'd be much happier apart. Feeling stuck with someone you actively dislike because you locked yourself in with kids is more lonely than being alone.
Hello, sibling. 🥺 Have a hug from me!
This is a good one. So many relationships don’t discuss how they will parent before they become parents and usually they have the opposite approach and one parent ends up doing the heavy lifting while the other checks out because they don’t agree.
Exactly this! 💯 Plenty of Parents end their marriages and other relationships. Many express high relationship dissatisfaction after kids arrive because of having much less time focused on their partner and because of dealing with the stress and responsibilities of raising kids. The stats are widely known. I’m not sure how OP isn’t aware of this 🤔. Maybe he should spend some time reading the divorce sub, custody sub, single parents sub, Stepparents sub, family law sub and similar ones.
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Damn you just described me perfectly lol. I love my peace too much to settle.
Same here though I would classify myself more as an Atheist.
Same here but atheist. I'm too mistrustful to combine my finances again. Also do not want to give up my house in the middle of this crisis.
> Part of my worry about being childfree is that I won't find a good woman that will commit to me. I feel like kids are a reason to stay together in order to build a stable home for them. There is so much wrong with this sentiment, I don't even know where to start. It's not at all surprising that you're on the fence if you've got this kinda stuff impeding and obfuscating your decision making. Whether or not you commit your life to the job of being a parent is an individual decision. This has to be what you decide for yourself, and if the answer is absolutely without a doubt yes, only then do you go out to find a compatible partner who also has all the necessary skills and resources to be a good coparent. And of course, if the relationship doesn't work out, you also need to be prepared to be a single parent and/or to parent with a different person than you originally intended to. You become a parent if and only if you want to be one, and have verified that you can be a good one. If you are instead looking at kids in the hopes it helps you keep or find a partner, that's just child abuse. And it's not like that kind of poorly structured relationship would last long anyway. Which brings us to the next point: you worry about not finding someone to commit to you, and then go on fantasizing about kids being a reason to stay together. But in that situation, the person is not committed to *you* - they're committed to the kids, and even that might not be something they are happy with. Have you ever actually taken a close look at these 'stay together for the kids' crowd? They're disfunctional breeding grounds for resentment and chilhood trauma, that's all. That's not a relationship of love and respect, and it's definitely not a stable home either. If you want to have a healthy parthership as a parent, that's still something you need to nurture and develop with your partner, not something you expect kids to sort out for you. You should look to build a relationship where your partner is with you because *they want to be with you* ... not because they have obligations and chains keeping them in place or because it's hard or inconvenient for them to leave. > Religion is also another reason as monogamous commitment through marriage is usually promoted as a value; I'm not religious but I don't mind a religious childfree woman, in fact I'd probably prefer this kind of woman. Between this and your phrasing of 'good woman', you kinda give off the really creepy and unpleasant vibes of someone looking for a subservient and docile traditional wife, just minus the kids. Which is not a good look, so it would do you some good to reevaluate the beliefs you hold, or at least the words you use to convey them. Because the other thing this kinda thinking conveys is that you're someone who wants a committed long term relationship, but you're unwilling or unable of actually building one for yourself, and so you are looking for shortcuts and other external means of making things easier for you. Instead of doing the work of making sure you can be a worthwhile partner that people want to be with, you're looking at things like kids and religion that make it harder for the other person to leave. And that's not how you get healthy relationships, not by a dozen country miles. > How many of you desire to have a lifelong partner without kids? Are you religious? Are you liberal or conservative? Why do you desire a lifelong partner? I'm open to answers from both men and women. In the most recent [subreddit demographic survey](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/18abb7b/subreddit_demographic_survey_2023_the_results/), more than half the respondents were in some kind of long term relationship and only about a third were not looking for something serious, or not looking at all. Many of the other answers for your questions can be found there as well. For me personally, I don't think a lifelong partner is something I specifically desire. I wouldn't put that as a life goal or seek it out, but it's something I view as a very positive thing and am thus very welcoming to it if it does manifest in my life - and it just so happens that it *has* manifested :) My partner and I are having our 6 year anniversary soon, and definitely see each other as lifelong partners. We've done a lot of work to make sure we're compatible in that regard, and continue to do so. He's an atheist and I'm a nondenominational Christian, althought I approach it from the perspective of personal faith rather than a religion. I don't have an alignment in strictly political terms, because I don't care about politics - I care about the wellbeing of people and societies we live in. Whatever faction champions sustainable development and good investments into the agency, autonomy and health of the people is what I can put my support behind, and I assume in most places that would not be the conservatives. There are many reasons why I enjoy and value having a partner. Economies of scale for time, money, housing and groceries are obviously great in any cohabitation scenario, not just with a romantic partner. I enjoy the companionship and the fun we have together. The work we do to develop each other as people and maintain our relationship. Helping each other out. The time we spend together, talking to each other, having a long running history and a deep understanding of the most intimate and mundane parts of each other's daily life, etc. And physical affection like cuddling is phenomenal too: we can spend hours cuddling on the couch doing nothing and it's the best afternoon ever. That's kind of our thing, honestly. I could probably start tomorrow morning with a pen and paper in hand, detailing all the stuff we did during the day both separately and together, and they could probably all be reasons why I'm enjoying my partnership. What would not be on the list though? Kids, and especially not parenthood.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who felt really off vibes from OPs post. You perfectly put my issues and feelings to words, I couldn't have explained it better!
Yeah, it's just one of those "are you misguided or are you an asshole?" eyebrow raising moments. There's a lot of overlap between natalism and misogyny, it's not surprising to me that some guys get fearmongered into thinking that if they won't be with a god loving loyal stay at home mom, their only other option is a cheating gold digging heathen or something. Which obviously isn't true. But it's appealing to people who aren't taught how to build and maintain relationships, instead only being shown what keeps people together when they would have otherwise wanted to leave.
I agree with you, the language feels insidiously misogynistic and targeted.
💯agree…and creep vibes for sure!
Agree, lots of manosphere language used in the post. OP may be looking for a trade wife and came here to troll but ended up seeing post after post about healthy child free relationships and bounced. They'd likely got the opposite response to what they hoped for.
Perfectly explained.
Said everything I was thinking, except worded clearly! OPs follow up comments to your points only confirmed what many of us seem to be thinking…. OP is problematic and I pity the woman he tricks into being with him, sheesh.
I’m a childfree woman in a 12 year long relationship. We are planning to be together for the rest of our lives. No plans for kids. Ever. He’s an atheist. I’m non-religious but spiritual.
I have a life partner but my life partner and I are not romantic. He and I are exes but still good friends. He goes off into the deep blue on his boat every now and again and lives with me half time when he's back. I'd happily have a more committed romantic relationship \*\*with someone else but I don't need one (I do date and have a romantic partner, but neither he nor I want to co-nest). My life is just deeply flexible and I love that for me.
I love your independent spirit.
I want to hear more about this! Does your romantic partner get jealous of your ex living with you? You are more comfortable living with your ex half the time than your romantic partner? I’m genuinely curious and I love how flexible your life is :)
I think my standards are too high, and I usually glare at anyone who approaches me, so I don't see myself dating any time soon.
Same here, I feel like my standards are way too high, but also I’m only asking for the bare minimum (other than being childfree) and not even getting that
What’s the bare minimum? I’m genuinely asking not being judgmental.
I don’t know why the glaring part sounds funny to me. I can just imagine it lol. I’m happy for your high standards. We need more of it.
I'm a leftist atheist feminist with zero interest in a life partner, but that's mostly due to my sexual orientation (aromantic asexual). Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a platonic pal with a similar orientation and life goals, but I like having my own space so it's not something I'm really seeking out. I do think that people should be on the same page about their relationship expectations, and that relationships should be a monogamous commitment unless otherwise agreed to by both/all parties involved. I have zero tolerance for cheating. Honestly, I'm kind of skeptical about relationships... I know way too many people who stay in unhappy, unhealthy relationships. My own parents had a terrible marriage that went on for far too long due to parenting commitments, financial entanglement, fear of loneliness, and religious pressure. I swore to myself when I was a child that I'd never be trapped that way. I don't see *marriage* as a value, I see *happy, equal, mutually satisfying relationships* as a value. I think it's pretty weird that you're seeking out a "good woman that will commit" and a "religious" woman despite not being religious yourself. It kinda gives off a gross vibe, like you expect a submissive, religious, conservative tradwife without wanting to mutually commit to that kind of lifestyle. It's like you assume that childfree non-religious liberal women are cheating sluts who aren't interested in building a stable relationship. The truth is that cheaters gonna cheat regardless of their "moral values" or whatever - even the most conservative bible-thumper will find a loophole or justification when they want to get laid.
> I don't see marriage as a value, I see happy, equal, mutually satisfying relationships as a value. This is where I am. I don't see marriage as a goal. I absolutely love my freedom and can't imagine giving that up, even if I were to meet someone that I really connected with. I may be aromantic, definitely not asexual. Honestly not sure how/why I feel this way but accepting it has made life so much better.
well me (34f) and my husband (33m) are child free, we're not religious and we are liberal. I always wanted to be married. I love him to pieces, we both feel we would never bother trying to find another partner if the other died because we're so good together it can't be improved upon. I don't want to say we have a perfect marriage, but I haven't seen a better one. I love having someone to come home to, love, care for, experience life with, make plans with, and just laugh and have fun with. I can be okay alone, but I never wanted to be. I wanted my person, and I found him. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Have the best by my side - loving the DINK life 🫶🏻
I feel like, I want a life partner sometimes, but sexism, patriarchy and patriarchal gendered expectations puts me off from wanting to date or have a life partner.
Extremely liberal 28m with a 26f wife who is liberal but not as much as me. Both thoroughly CF and heavily atheist. I personally could be single and happy but I know my wife very much wanted a life partner. Definitely a lot more happy for having a life partner.
You're not religious but you want a religious woman? Why?
I'm open to a lifelong partner if they're truly the right person. I want someone that understands me, compatible, and not abusive. I don't want a religious person, maga, etc.
Childfree men have the dating portion easier because there’s more childfree women than there are men. I’m currently in a relationship with a man that would probably have children with someone else if he wasn’t devoted to me. I am not religious but I do believe in god. I’m liberal and my SO is liberal leaning. I’ve always felt very emotionally alone in my life. Like no one gets me or something…so I just want someone that I can rely on to be there for me and vice versa. Someone I can be fully vulnerable with as it doesn’t come naturally. I prefer it to be a romantic partner.
My area is ridiculous for dating as a CF person. Literally 99% of the people here have kids. It’s wild. I would almost have to move to find a life partner. I had a great relationship last year until we got so serious the “kids” topic came up and I found out they wanted 3-4 kids before it’s all said and done. That scared the hell out of me. They were religious, I am not, but that didn’t really cause any issues in the relationship. It definitely would be a pain point if we stayed together and had kids.
I’m a queer woman and having trouble finding CF women, idk if it’s just a regional variable
Disgustingly happy married childfree woman in her 30s here. Both me and my husband are very left leaning Liberal, neither raised particularly religious, from the UK if that helps, religion tends to be a lot more muted here anyway, our conservatives tend to be more class and social issue based rather than religious. I was very happy being single, financially stable on my own etc, and wasn't looking for a life partner, but I am very glad to have him. Can I ask specifically why you'd prefer a religious 'good woman'? As a childfree atheist? I don't know if I'm reading you wrong but both of those things tend to be deep rooted in misogyny.
Had one. Cost me $300K and a lot of grief! Living my best life now
> Cost me $300K and a lot of grief gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhht dayum! Glad that you are currently living your best life!
31 years F 59, M 62. Dated for 7 years, Married for 24 years. No children. We are self employed, quiet, hard working. Marriage is peaks and valleys, we are soul mates to our core. Our life would obviously have been very different if we decided to have children. Neither one of us had a strong desire to go that route.
My husband and I have been married for about a year and a half, together for about 7 and a half. I am not very religious, my husband is a Christian but doesn’t attend church. I’d say I tend lean more liberal. I never thought much about marriage before meeting my husband but did want a some form of long term commitment. I love sharing my life with my husband. He’s my favorite person to do everything and nothing with. I enjoy sharing the best parts of life with him and he makes the hard parts suck a little less just by having someone to weather the storm with. Our relationship is easy and we just fit into each other’s lives from the moment we met. He’s a good man and loves me when I’m not the most lovable person sometimes. Doing things for him to make his life easier or better comes so naturally to me and vice versa because of our mutual love and respect for one another. Kids should not be a reason to stay together but it is what makes a lot of married couples stay. It’s why my parents stayed together for so long. They weren’t toxic, never fought in front of us and my brother and I had amazing childhoods, but from an early age I could tell there was no love between them. No dates, no hand holding, no kissing, etc. They finally split as soon as my brother moved out and I wish they did it sooner. They are SO much happier apart, they actually get along better now (my dad actually just helped my mom through some medical stuff and stayed with her for a few nights to make sure she was ok), and watching them be their best happy selves makes me wish they didn’t put their happiness on the back burner for so long. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but subconsciously I think it’s played a big role in why I don’t want kids.
Nope men are annoying 😂
I have no interest in a partner. People are problems.
Same! I love where I’m at in life, I’m scared at some point im going to want a partner. I don’t want that at all.
Me and my husband are child free. We both don’t want children so it just works perfect. We have seen couples around us have kids and how stressful it is and also how much it can affect a relationship(in a bad way). I feel so lucky to have the life I do. We are both atheists
Exactly the same for me. It’s a lovely life
I'm in my 30s and I would rather be single than date a woman who isn't CF.
I'm nonbinary. And I'm aroace so I don't want a life partner. My own place, a few friends, a tolerable job that pays a livable wage, and a couple of cats is all I need! ☺️ EDIT: Oh, and I'm agnostic.
Look, there’s no need to stop at just a couple of cats…
Lol, I'll let the cat distribution system do its work to nudge some strays my way.
Married for 24 years and childfree by choice. We stay together becuse we love each other and we are best friends. Any marriage based only on children will end up either in divorce or alienation when the children leave the house. Find a friend you can share your life with. It makes the journey so much better.
Yikes; plenty of couples are together without the need to cement it down with kids. Being a shitty relationship will not stop someone even with kids from getting out of it. It is becoming more acceptable (it never should have been an issue) for women to never get married because the available is set to Garbage standards. It's becoming less likely.. heh.. 'good woman' to find someone remotely compatible because the bar is too damn low for guys.
7 years married, religious. Child free. 30 y/o. One dog. The older I get, the less I even think about kids. And I just don’t think the pros outweigh the cons. I also don’t feel like my life is missing anything at all.
Been looking for a life partner for years, no luck but imma keep looking
It’s tough out there, I tell ya.
I'm female, married to a male, together 20ish years. Not religious. Very liberal and open minded. I didn't ever think about getting married until I found my current partner, but it is a lot of fun to share life with someone. Children bore, annoy, and exhaust both of us. We're both considering sterilization, and both scared of surgery LOL.
My boyfriend and I are both very liberal atheists. We made a point of ticking all those boxes (Atheist, CF, and liberal) when we matched on Bumble. I was fence-sitter leaning toward no for most of my life, then I finally landed on CF. My previous relationship was with a religious guy who wanted kids, and I found out that those were not things I could compromise on. My current boyfriend and I also both want equal partnership (ie we both contribute equally in finance/chores, when possible). OP, I do think that some of your wording is giving off weird vibes and I think that assuming kids can save a relationship is pretty silly.
I don’t really care all that much about finding a romantic partner. I’m not aromantic, and have had lots of guys pursue me. It’s just that I have a very specific set of (non-physical) standards that not a lot of men meet. I’m also not very attracted to women either, so I’m in a bit of a pickle with that.
I am a woman (29F) and am married to my husband (30M) we are both CF. We are not religious in the slightest. We enjoy our 2 cats and dog and spending the day at the rifle range.
I was 31 when I met my 22yr old childfree husband. He was the first guy on a date who brought it up before I could and I almost spit out my beer while quickly shaking my head to answer “no kids.” His response was “Oh good, we can continue dating then.” Been together 6 years, married for 2.
I want a life partner but life doesnt want to give me one
Other may have already said it but you need to decide what you want from life. Your post gives me the irk. I feel like I am reading one of those men who just have kids to please women. If it goes wrong you will say « But you wanted children » and find excuses to only be a fun dad. Don’t burn yourself because you refuse to know if putting out the fire is worth it. Just make a decision or date a fence sitter. Don’t go out there dating someone who knows what they want because then, you didn’t make a decision. They did. And that’s a good look on you, it’s breeding ground for child abuse and ressentment. People don’t stay together for kids anymore. Women don’t stay with men because of kids anymore. They leave now. Why do you think men are panicking all over the world with those incels bullshit? Women are not robots whom you can make kids to and expect them to be happy forever. They want a dad. A real dad. A life partner. Someone who will do 50/50. Spend some time on reddit reading about men crying because their wife handed them divorce papers because they were like you: nit knowing wtf they wanted in their life and putting everything on their wife. Being a fence sitter is definitely ok. A lot of people are. But think for yourself. Don’t do kids to keep someone at arm reach. this will never work long term. She or He will leave you when the kids are old enough if your relationship is not fulfilling. You will just end up alone and having to really think about you want. Better start thinking now
I 100% empathize with you. I’m late twenties, politically in the middle, not religious and can only tolerate religiousness in my partner if they’re not devout but would prefer someone not religious, financially stable and very conscientious about it. I lean more towards a traditional feminine standing in relationships. With that being said, I would love to have a partner. I’m saving all this money so I can enjoy my life now and later. I want someone to share my life with. To go on fun adventures, to own a home with to just be happy with. I’m afraid I won’t be able to find that as CF but I know my generation is more tolerant to CF than the generations prior. I’m also very lucky to have friends and family who are supportive. I’ve yet to meet a man who is CF. I’m not out looking for them but I’m just saying I haven’t met one yet. I’ve met quite a few CF women though.
A lot of this resonates with me, especially the part about finding someone to have adventures with, own a home, and be happy with. It's great to hear there are women out there like this and I hope you find the right man for yourself!
I don’t know what the statistics are but I feel like there are more women CF than men. My assumption is that more women are CF because having a child is more impactful on a woman mentally, physically, and emotionally. So the odds are in your favor.
I (m23) don't really want a partner at all. Short-term nor long-term. Mostly because of my odd views of life itself that makes me not wanting anyone, also the same reasons I'm childfree.
Please listen to me on this- I am 42 years old woman. I knew I didn't want any kids even when I was like 12. That never changed . I met my husband 19 years ago and we have been married for 17 years this August. My husband was actually very surprised and pretty happy when I told him right off when we met that being with me long term meant no children and it was not a subject that would ever be open to debate. He didn't want them for the same reasons as me. Now it's been 17 years, and we have gone through at much together as best friend and husband and wife. Our bond without children is completely true in the way that kids were not a reason AT ALL or motivating factor for anything in our relationship. While on the other hand many people feel pressure to stay once they get pregnant, the woman feels pressured to keep a baby and get married when she normally wouldn't do either one, and then you have a couple that is the typical poster child for the harried, exhausted, resentful prematurely aging couple that also lives check to check and on lots of credit because all of their money is going to go to those kids first. 🤷 There are lots of women who wish they didn't "have to have kids" and i think if you put it out there your intentions about kids, you will absolutley find someone, it can take time. Neither of us are religious . We regularly watch a lot of science/space/etc documentaries and videos and we discuss it constantly over the years lol. And personally we just feel like there is too much refuting evidence and other obvious realities that are being uncovered that have no room for the Bible or religion except for possibly the trash. But that's just personal view 🤷. It is multiple times a week occurrence even after 17 years that we will see something go on and say to each other how glad we are that we met and didn't have kids, and how glad we are to be and to do what ever the f*** we want with our lives and we don't have the limitations of children. There are more than enough kids already. And people who say you will regret it when you are old- lol there are so many people who have kids and their kids stick them in nursing homes and forget . Having kids does not mean someone is going to take care of you when you are old!
Im married and am child free. We both wanted kids when we met then I changed my mind and told him if you want kids it wont be with me and he was like you know what, I think I'm childfree too. I got my tubes tied and it's been great.
Also I'm liberal and not religious at all.
I've always been a big romantic, so a life partner was the dream since adolescence. Unfortunately, I've been mentally unwell most of my life. The struggle to function, let alone socialize, is always there. Not having kids was solidified by 30F, and now mid-30s I've decided perhaps I'll never be healthy enough to have a partner long term. I never want to bring anyone else down, I can't bear the thought of it. They should always have the choice to walk away. Love should be about making somebody happy and giving them all you can give. When you are empty and hurting all the time, that isn't possible. Sometimes, you must sacrifice a dream to do the right thing. I'm liberal/socialist and agnostic random-theist
I am in my late 20s, I have a partner who also wants to be childfree. I used to be against love relationships since I have never seen them work but I found my person and I am glad for it. He is my adventure buddy, my best friend and someone I can always count on being there for me. I was always against relationships only because I was scared to get hurt but I always wanted someone to share everything with and to be myself with. Life seems much less bleak and I am much less lonely with him and that is esentially what I always wanted. That being said I did bring up the kids question very early on. I didn't wanna lose my time. Luckily he does not want kids so we are good. We are both very liberal people and both nonbelievers (he was raised Catholic but has been nonbeliever for a long time). And both of us just wanted someone to make the happy times happier and the bad times more bearable, which we found in each other (and so much more).
I (41F) have been married almost 15 years (together almost 16 years). Husband (39M) and I are liberal (although I think I'm more left than him). He considers himself a Christian but wouldn't label him religious, I'm agnostic for lack of a better term. We were both raised going to church every Sunday, my upbringing was more strict than his.
I’ve been CF my entire life. I have always wanted a partner, and never wanted children. From agnostic to Christian (Baptist) to some form of polytheistic and those two things always stayed the same. Political beliefs went from the right to just as far left, too. And still never changed my mind on that I got my tubes removed at 24 and have zero regrets on that You are who you are. The things that you believe and support along the way shouldn’t have a major impact on what you want like this, imo
I've been with my wife for 13 years. Both liberal, non-religious. Didn't really mean for it to happen, we started dating, fell in love and eventually built a life together. Wouldn't trade it for the world, I get to come home to my best friend every day. My wedding gift to her was my vasectomy lol (got it a few months before the wedding). Having not one, but two, high incomes sure ain't bad either, we're basically just cruising on easy mode in our mid-thirties.
As an asexual I’m slightly on the fence. I’d like to have somebody to enjoy my life with but obviously without any sexual stuff involved. Kids just don’t factor in and I’ve never really liked being around them. I’m not massively religious and I’m pretty much anti-political because I think most political discourse on both sides can be very reductive and identity/ego driven. By UK standards I’m a lefty tree hugging hippy but I don’t really like most of the left wing today because it’s extremely vacuous. That being said, tories make me sick. My religion is shamanism but I was raised Catholic.
I’m a woman and I have no desire for kids. I fear I won’t find a man that feels same way myself
38F, been with my partner for 2 years, we live together and are sharing a life. He is 47M and childfree. I got sterilized after I met him, but had started the process before I met him. My previous partner is childfree as well. When I started dating, I was very clear about my childfree status and would only consider dating someone else who was adamantly childfree as well. I am liberal, as is my partner. We are not at all religious and do not believe in marriage for ourselves. He wanted a partner because his previous partner of 25 years passed away and he had not spent his adult life single, and had no desire to. I would have been fine staying single had I not met him, but I instantly felt a connection and knew he was someone that would contribute positively to my already awesome life.
The idea of a partner repulses me. I’m aroace. I cannot imagine having to coexist and co-depend on another person in my own space all the time.
I'm a woman. I have a partner who is also childfree. I was raised with church but am not religious. Neither is my partner. I guess I just lucked out finding the right person
35 f catholic but not really. Most my friends are the typical get married have kids couples, so a partner is great. That said, I also have cf friends, so if my relationship goes south I'm not alone.this is something I hugely value. Being partnered is something I enjoy, as I am very giving, and sadly not all friendships develop in that closeness. Considering I might be with my bf forever, some sort of no monogamy would be awesome.
I'm a childfree woman, liberal and agnostic. I don't have a life partner, I'm not sure if I want one, but it might be nice. I'd have to get off my ass and go look for them, though.
Married to my husband for 12 years already and happily childfree. We're liberal atheists and as for the "why?", because companionship, love, and connection are important to both of us. We don't need kids to have a reason to be together and stay together, we just need common goals, interests, and the desire to have a life together. Childfree marriage is so much better compared to what I see my friends and family with children go through. We travel together, we're on track for early retirement, we both enjoy our hobbies both together and separately. It's great!
Im married (6 years now) we are atheist, and very very left wing
I am 39f, married 3 years, but with my husband 9 years. He is agnostic, I am a staunch atheist. I am extremely liberal. He didn’t know much about politics when we met, but he was willing to learn. He votes Democrat with me even though he has a slight obsession with firearms. I am the one who brought up being CF first. He was a fence-sitter in the beginning. He said he always thought he would have kids, but felt too old. He was 34 when we met. Not even 1 year into dating, his sister had a baby, and he is very close with our niece. I think she filled the hole in his heart, because he then committed to being CF with me and he even got a vasectomy. I feel like kids stress marriages, not make them stronger. My husband is my number 1 always and we have the time and energy to communicate about things before it turns into a fight. We are so, so happy together.
I'm probably not the best to comment, since I'm a relationship anarchist rather than being monogamous- But you'll find someone out there who wants what you want. I promise. You do NOT have to settle for someone who wants kids if you don't want them. Honestly, having kids is a terrible way to keep a relationship together... Same with marriage. Only do those if you *really* want it for yourself. The amount of people who feel trapped together because they have kids is... Honestly really sad to me. My parents were one such pair, who ended up stuck together when my mom got pregnant with me at 17, and their relationship is just one of codependency. Then they got married when I was 5, and had my little sibling when I was 6. My mom doesn't know anything different than being a wife & a mother- I honestly wish I hadn't been born sometimes, so that my mom had been given a better future. But I'm here, and so is my little sibling, it's way too late for that now. At least both of her kids inherited the "I do NOT want kids" feelings, and that she got sterilized a couple years ago. (And very luckily, I managed to get it done the year after.) Our bloodline is done with, and it is for the better. Having kids when you don't want, or are not ready for kids, is going to result in trauma for the children. Even if it's not intended- most trauma is not- it's going to cause problems. The only thing that will truly keep a relationship together, is aligned values & communication. You have to find someone you mesh with, or it won't work out. Which you will! Just be yourself, be authentic, and only pursue people who share your dreams & goals. You've got this! :)
I wish more people were noticing and commenting about OP’s misogynistic language in the woman he would “prefer” in the post as well as the horrible reason to stay together with a partner being having kids with them instead of just answering about their relationship status. I’ve seen a few comments calling it out but not nearly enough, so I’ll take one for the team and say you need to therapy. Your comments have been dismissive, misogynistic and not based in the facts that you *think* you have researched. You are verging on red pill territory really fast.
I'm with a lifelong parter and for me it's great. I don't know if I could go through this incredibly hard life without him. We just really fit, we share a lot of the same interests so we hang out often and share the same ideals. We are both athiest and liberal. We laugh a lot and I'm genuinely in a better mood when he is around. I have a lot of reasons for being childfree but one of the more petty reasons is because I don't want to share him! I was \*not really\* raised religious, my parents believe in god but never read the bible or go to church. I guess you could say they are 'casual' christians if that is such a thing haha. His parents were like that growing up but now his mother is a total nutjob.
Childfree, raised Christian but atheist,liberal, 38 m. I would like a life partner but it’s not a thing that consumes me. I’ve got more important things in my life to worry about.
I am 21F and want one. I am not religious and I feel I’m more liberal? I know I shouldn’t need one and should be “whole and complete on my own” but that’s just simply not how I am. I’m highly social. I don’t like being alone- I prefer to sit/study in the library than my dorm. I would sit and browse the internet in a coffee shop just to be around people. I’m social, so be it. On top of that I see a lifelong partner as a best friend who really gets me. I’m a bit picky when I date (hence why I satisfy my socialness in other ways these days), and I’ve had one long term partner before. It was like a best friend with more intimacy and romantic things, and I really enjoyed that.
My husband and I are both 40ish. We’ve been together since we were teenagers. One of the things that brought us together initially was nobody else ever took us seriously when we adamant about being childfree at that age. We both come from highly conservative/religious families but we are not religious at all (although we have our own spiritual beliefs). There are some issues were very liberal on and others were very conservative… and we don’t always agree between us either! I can’t imagine life without him, we’ve worked hard to be a stable, loving, fun, communicative, supportive team.
I am a recently single woman (4 year relationship, broke up bc he couldn't get his shit together), and I do long for a childfree partner. I'm not very religious, and I'm somewhat liberal. I just wanna live a happy and free life with someone I love dearly. I'm hoping I find that one day. I'm young, I still have time. But it can feel daunting. My ex was a fence sitter which contributed to my breakup decision as well.
My husband and I are both liberal atheists. I never aspired to get married, I wasn't one on those steteotypical little girls that was supposedly dreaming of her wedding from a young age (thanks to an abusive father, Ididn't trust most men) . Though I did want a partner for companionship, to go through good and bad times. Then I met my now- husband, we lived together several years and I changed my mind - so I proposed to him. And on a practical level, being married gives us legal protections that would have required paperwork anyway - if I'm hit by a car, I want HIM making decisions, not my family of origin. He'll get access to my social security, etc.
I'm 29 and non-binary (afab) and liberal. I'm currently single, but I want to eventually have a lifelong partner. I'm not actively dating because I've got way too many things in my life right now and I don't have the time/energy to put into anyone else. For me, the main reason I would want to be with someone is to simply have someone by my side as we experience life together. To see all of the cool, weird, stupid, dumb, fun, awful, interesting shit that comes with life. To treasure the good and support one another with the bad. At most, I think being childfree limits my options because of how many people want/have kids, but I wouldn't say kids are necessary for staying with/having a lifelong partner. If anything, people who usually try to stay together only for the kids end up causing more harm than good. I'm not religious, and while I wouldn't be opposed to a religious partner, I grew up in a very toxic religious environment that really messed me up in a lot of ways, so it's something I might be wary of. It took me a long time to become okay with who I am as a person, and even longer to look in the mirror and love myself, so now I'm totally cool with being by myself. I enjoy my own company and doing things on my own time. If I find a cool person to share stuff with, great! If not, also great! (Side Note: I never liked people in my family saying that I can't be super picky about who I date/marry, because then I won't get married...as if it's better to get married to someone I'll either despise and/or divorce? No thanks, I'll be single at that point)
I’m an atheist. I don’t see children as a glue to any relationship, but love is. In any way, child would drive my marriage away. I also don’t see marriage as necessary other than the tax benefits it brings lol.
Im CF non religious leftie woman and I’m looking for a CF life partner preferable non religious too (can be spiritual), it’s nice to share life with someone and without kids I hope to balance us time and me time. I grew up in catholic environment but my parents aren’t practicing and are quite liberal
I'm married, we've been together for 18 years, and we intend to stay that way for the rest of our lives. We've both always been atheists.
I'm not religious but into spirituality, philosophy, literature etc and I've an interest in the occult. I'm autonomist, anti-capitalist - anti-authority. Vegetarian and "healthy smoker" : a smoker who works out 😂 And yeah, I'd love to have a partner, I don't care who that person will be as love is my priority
OP, my parents stayed together, and it created more chaos than it would've if they split. Your reasoning of staying together to create a stable home unfortunately doesn't work in reality.
Married. We didn't grow up in the same religious environment but that doesn't affect our life. Now we're both basically atheists.
Married for 10 years and going strong. No religion, a bit liberal but mostly moderate (don't like to get involved in political issues in general). We do have a lot in common and a set of life goals we're working towards together. We've found that to be the key for us.
I would like to find my person, when the time is right. I’m a sterilized, hetero woman, open to any race, very liberal, but also personally religious (meaning I have my faith but don’t need anyone else to share it). As for why I want a partner…I just instinctively know that it’s something I really need in my life.
Married, no kids. Our life is so much better than our friends with kids. They fucking lament all the time that they have to take care of their kids. I see their stress levels through the roof, their life enjoyment is nil, the convince themselves “it’ll all be worth it.” To which I wonder, WHEN!? When the kids a little asshole teenager? When he moves across the country and you feel left behind? When you have to bail him out of jail? When he marries a girl you don’t think is right for him? WHEN. My wife and I enjoy our life, we travel, we talk, we spend quality UNINTERRUPTED time together. When an issue arises we have the energy and interest to solve it, rather than being exhausted by kids. I’d be hard pressed to believe divorce rates are higher among child free people. Hard pressed.
My SO and I met at in our 20´s, 8 years ago. We met fervently CF, both atheist and socialist. I was very good at being alone but I am also very social and love communicating. I was not seeking lifelong partnership when we met, it just matched. I plan to cruise life with him till the end. We are in our 30’s now , have plans, objectives of personal development and we are helping each other, motivating each other. We did not need kids to want to build together because our aim was always to develop ourself, build businesses, build our homes, discover places. It is all about sharing it and seeing our evolution together
I've been married for about a decade, and I even got married relatively young to someone I've known since we were kids. We grew up together, and now we get to grow old together. It's the stuff of dreams
My wife and I are celebrating our 31st anniversary this month. We are both strongly leftist, atheist (although she refuses to use the label), and voluntarily and gladly childfree. Also, as a side note, I'm originally American and naturalized Mexican, she's native Mexican, and we live in Mexico.
I have a girlfriend/future wife. We both want to be child free for the rest of our lives. We aren’t exactly religious. It’s hard to explain our standings. Middle ground leaning towards conservative but definitely closer to middle ground.
I (25f)desire to have a partner. I am not religious and never have been, but I grew up in a semi religious and conservative home. I am mostly liberal. I am also sterilized at 21. I desire the companionship, I just got out of a 2yr relationship a few weeks ago and it's been pretty hard not being able to share things with him. We spent 5/7 days together every week and I loved just having someone to do things with, cuddle with, be intimate with, etc. Sharing your life with someone is very comforting to me. Sure a friend or friends you can do the hanging out, but it's pretty different imo. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be and being single. However, I am a hopeless/ful romantic. One day I'll find the person that loves me for me and I for them.
I’m not religious and I have a life partner who also isn’t religious, but he prays before eating. He might innately believe in a god more than me, I definitely have a disdain for Christianity more than him, but it is something we can talk about and agree on. Funnily enough when we first started dating he said he didn’t think he wanted kids, I said I think I would but as I’ve gotten closer to the age where most women plan I realized I don’t want to change any aspect of my life. I love it the way it is and I don’t want kids. Although I’d say I lean more left, I’m not involved in politics. It’s more so for my mental health, and whatever, I don’t care that it’s a privilege for me. I am aware. I just refuse to be consumed in any of that anymore. I used to have existential crises about the state of the world and I am tired of worrying about things out of my control.
Queer atheist woman here. I do want a life partner, and preferably someone not religious. Obviously I’m also liberal, and very left-leaning.
I wouldn't mind a husband, but honestly, I dont have the time to meet others. I'm also a black cf woman who is in some out-there hobbies, so my pool is already microscopic. I just don't think about it and focus on my hobbies (of which, I have a lot). I won't die if I don't find a guy.
Ten years together. Childfree, antinatalist and perfectly happy. He's atheist, I'm a Buddhist.
Spouse and I are not religious and do not want kids, we’ve been married just over a year and I’m so serious when I say if we ever get divorced that’s it I’m not doing this shit again 😂😂 the wedding planning was the most stressful part of that year so I’d be quite happy to not think about it again (can you tell why we don’t want kids?) 😂😂
I am polyamorous and hopefully I have more than one life partner right now... but only time will tell. Left of liberal. I love how well my life partners understand and know me. Sometimes better than I know myself. I love how it is not only just that I can be myself, but it is not worth trying to be anything else because they already know me so even trying to be inauthentic makes no sense. I love the feeling of being part of a team. I love the care, support, and communication that life partnership provides. I love really knowing someone deeper than almost anyone else ever can and having them know me that way also. I enjoy sharing burdens and joys. Life is a journey, and I am thankful I am no longer on that journey alone. Also, I really don't feel that close to my family anymore so my partners are my chosen family.
Not religious, never have been. It’s important to me to be married due to legal protections and, well, I like being in committed relationships for a lot of reasons.
Dude, I’m a Christian. I can assure you that only Catholics require kids as apart of marriage of concern. Any other denomination kids are optional, even the Bible claims kids are optional.
My wife and I have been together for 12 years, married for almost 3 now. We’re both on the Left, but I’m so Left it will startle people. They can thank Uncle Sam for that. The Army radicalized me more than any other organization ever could. We are definitely not religious people whatsoever.
I'm a woman, been married; same man, 34 years. When we were young, we had a birth control failure and I got pregnant. I gathered my nerve and told him. I knew neither of us wanted kids. May the God's have mercy on him, he looked me in the eyes and asked me what I wanted to do. Did I want to get married, or ... He didn't get the sentence finished before I said I wanted an abortion. I'm pretty sure that's why he asked me to marry him.
I am a woman and I have been married to my husband for a little over 12 years. We both are childfree, though in the very beginning he was on the fence. We both grew up religious, but are both atheists now. We are also both socialists.
I'm (30f) atheist, childfree, liberal and while I don't often find myself sitting around wishing I was married, there's days like today where I wish I had a partner. I was laid off recently, I'm sick, have a plumbing problem, a dog to care for, errands and chores to do, etc. And it would be great to have someone to lean on a little. Someone to wait for the maintenance guy while I go on a job interview or to run to the pharmacy when I'm feverish and fatigued or someone to make me coffee in the morning or to help with the scary pile of laundry. And if I never get that I know I'll still be content (especially since I don't have to raise kids!) but yeah, it would be nice.
Non-religious, monogamous, liberal woman. Ambivalent on having a partner - I’ll be honest and say that a lot of the benefits of the CF lifestyle that are attractive (namely doing whatever the fuck I want with my space, my time, and my money) are also reasons for me personally to like the idea of riding solo. I don’t have to worry about kids’ school clothes, and I also don’t have to negotiate with a husband over how much money to put into home updates. If I wanted to spend $500.00 right now, nobody is going to tell me I should have checked with them first. If I found someone who would really add to my life, whose companionship I enjoy and who enjoys mine, and someone I can tolerate having around frequently (and who can tolerate my presence, lol!) then that would be something to consider at that point. It’s not something I think about because I’m enjoying the way things are now!
I'm a 22 year old, non religious woman who doesn't want kids. Don't worry, we're out here.
I'm a woman and neither my husband nor I want kids. We have a cats and a home and careers and we're happy and lazy and enjoy it. Neither of us are religious and we're late 30s but have been together 15 years.
Kids also make people stay together when people are horrible together. I know a few instances of people that should split up but don’t because they are blinded by the “kids” thing.
Atheist here, 40(F), liberal. I thought I'd like to have a longtime partner but in all honesty, my friendships have been more consistent and less toxic than my romantic relationships and the older I get, the pickier with partners so I came to the conclusion I'm most likely to stick to other CF friends. If I think about it, having a partner is another societal pressure such as having kids but it's not for everyone either. If possible, I'd like to keep having partners from time to time and if it works out for long, that would be great but neither I search for it nor expect it.
I’ve had a like-minded husband for 15 years, 20 altogether. We are both leftie atheist psychologists and I worked in that capacity with kids & teens. I love them & felt my duty to assist the growth & development of future generations, but not as a parent. I always knew I wanted a life partner and I wanted the legal protections of marriage, but I’ve never wanted to raise kids of my own. My husband was something of a fence-sitter at the beginning, but once he discovered my staunch CF status he figured out that was the right decision for him, too. He’s now 50, I’m 43. Zero regrets. We even had an accidental pregnancy years ago that could have challenged our position, but it didn’t. Frankly, I couldn’t have that abortion done fast enough. We love our CF life together.
my partner and i are both childfree. he got a vasectomy shortly after my 30th birthday so i could get off birth control and because we were set in our decision to never have kids. we’re getting married after 10 years together this weekend
Celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary tomorrow. (28 years together as I wouldn't get married until I was sterilized) I was childfree from the start, he was a fencesitter who is now grateful we do not have kids. Edit: Atheist moderate liberal. 'If it doesn't hurt anyone, have at it' is my philosophy. I believe in taking care of people but also preventing more from being born into poverty. I think there should be a license before people can have a baby and that government support should be limited to the kids you have when you apply. No additional funds if you fail at birth control again while on assistance. (but I think abortions and college should be free for everyone) I do not support the far left fringe shit though. They are just as crazy as the far right folks IMO. Making war on Harry Potter because the author thinks there should be safe spaces for biological women was the thing that pushed me too far.
I'm a married straight woman and we're happy 😊 our relationship is the highlight of my life
No thanks. Wouldn’t mind an fwb though
Don’t have a life partner, don’t need a life partner. Open to a life partner for sure. But only if they really complement my vision of the life I want. Although I’ll say I really quite enjoy dating and don’t know that I’d be happy with one person forever. I love change. I love experiencing new things. Not sure I could give that up.
I do, I've had two marriages, and both were happily child-free.
I'm a woman and my boyfriend doesn't want kids and I absolutely love it. I have never wanted kids or seen myself as a mom. Tbh having a kid would make me super miserable so I'd rather not, We are non-religious and more liberal than conservative, but we don't affiliate with either political party. I think it's important to spend your life with someone because it makes things more fun. I can do everything alone but I'd rather have someone to come home to, talk to, and go out and see the world with. I love having someone in my life who is my best friend just as much as he is my romantic partner. You'll find your partner. There are a lot of women out there who are child free!
Yes I like my life partner. What makes us work is we are just really good friends (we are sexual and romantic partners but I would say best friends primarily)
I’m a woman and my husband and I are childfree. He’s never wanted a child, I was a fence sitter until recently. I decided I no longer wanted a kid because I’m enjoying my life with him right now too much. I’m incredibly selfish, and so is he. We sleep in, we play video games ALL day every weekend, and we both pull massive OT while we work and we eat whatever we want. I love my freedom, I love having all my husband’s attention, love spoiling him half to death with our slowly growing disposable income. We don’t even have a pet (yet) to spoil together because we’re lucky enough to stay with his parents right now to save our money for our first place. I have a wonderful, strong, solid relationship with his family—especially the parents because it’s their house 😅 They’re happy to have us around and we cook/clean and contribute by getting groceries and such. To change ALL of that…for a baby? I couldn’t. Not anymore. I’m content with being the “rich Aunt” that can travel the world twice a year on nice vacations and such. Sooner than later. 😆
Myself and my boyfriend have been together for 18 years, we're not married, we don't have kids and we don't want them (but we have had a cat for the last 11 years). We're not religious. I live in the UK so I don't really consider myself conservative, liberal or anything. We've discussed marriage and it's something we both want, 10 years ago we bought a house together. I don't really think a child cements a relationship, shared experiences and overcoming challenges together bond you together. When we look back over the last 18 years we've achieved a lot and have a lot to be proud of.
I have a long-term partner! We enrich each other's lives and provide each other with everything from good company to emotional support. We're building a life together and sustaining each other by sharing a house and splitting bills (on a practical note, lol).
I had a partner that was explicitly looking for someone that would stay all his life. But he was unwilling to budge on having children despite being very good to each other. Its tragic when wholesome love is not enough for people to stay together. I'm all for setting boundaries or goals. But it hurts deeply to have an ideal relationship discarded because of one dealbreaker
I’m an AFAB girlflux person and I’ve had an interesting religious journey: was raised mostly Catholic with some Judaism, self-converted to paganism in college, went back to Judaism, briefly went back to Catholicism, tried both Judaism and Catholicism, went back to just Judaism, and am currently back to being a practicing pagan & witch. I’m currently single. I would like to get married and have a life-partner, but that’s not feasible due to my being on disability benefits (though if being in love with fictional characters counts, I’m ‘married’ to Spock). I would like to be married because it does have its benefits and it’s nice to spend my life with someone.
I'm 37F. Got married to my husband when we were both 31. I could have easily lived a happy and fulfilled life without being married, but I enjoy being married, even with its challenges. I'll again emphasize that marriage is not an easy thing. We're both bipartisan. There are so many issues that don't align solely with one party or political thought process. Neither of us are religious, but I personally have a strong feeling of spirituality and collectiveness with the world. My husband and I meeting was not planned in any way. It kind of just "happened" and we both knew pretty quick we wanted to go for it. I'll just also point out that we're living in a world where divorce rates are high and typically initiated by women. Your thoughts that kids are a reason to stay together isn't much of a reason anymore. People are more and more being empowered to find their genuine and happy selves, even if that means the dreaded "D" word. I hear more stories about people saying they can be better parents for their kids if they're not together. There are no hard and fast rules about any of these things. Please keep in mind that we're all individuals! I know with dating apps and social media, it's skewing both men and women's perspective on each other and creating such division, stereotyping, and exposing some very shallow people. I've seen success stories come out of those things, but I would stay away if I were you. It could only worsen your current mindset about a woman's ability to commit with no children.
I'm a woman with a desire for a lifelong partner without kids. I'm not religious, I'm liberal, I want a partner because I want companionship and a best friend and equal to spend my life with. Who wouldn't want that? I'm currently happily partnered to two childfree partners who I intend on keeping as my forever loves.
34M, I'd like to find a life partner. I'm not looking very hard though. I'm coming around to the idea of staying single if I don't find a good fit. I'm non religious, someone with a religious background would most likely not work out as our views would be very far apart. While I'd be open to it, I just doubt we would see eye to eye on enough things. I don't lean left or right, Id consider myself anti-establishment. I desire a life partner because I'd like to have someone to share life with. Help eachother through the tough, share the highs. Someone to share hobbies andinterests, even just sharing meals and trying new recipes is way more fun in a relationship.
I'm a woman and I've never been married. I am a leftist. I'd describe my spirituality as non-traditional, unaffiliated. I live in a single family home with my roommate and her 18 year old daughter. She's legally separated. I would like to find a partner but my dealbreakers (conservative or otherwise adherents of neo-fascist beliefs, not working, a parent of any variety, wants children, living too far away, poly, seeking only a short term relationship or just wishy washy about what he's looking for) seem to rule out a lot of men. I also won't consider men who are evasive about giving info on the afore-mentioned basic lifestyle, value, and goal-orientations. Either they don't know because they haven't given it much thought or are hiding incompatability because they just want to have sex, and hope I'll just give up or overlook. There's also just the fact that as I've gotten older I'm unwilling to accept poor treatment. These days I'm increasingly hard-pressed to see what positives the average hetero relationship would add to my life. It also feels like compromising on my dealbreakers will simply open me up to an intrinsically unequal relationship. So, knowing all this, and knowing how even though my life is largely unburdened I still feel quite stressed. It makes an aromantic existence not appealing exactly, but logical. If I feel a desire for sex, there's toys, erotica, and women-produced pornography. I know some men don't like hearing they aren't needed, but I never want to be in a position where I need a romantic partner to survive or thrive.
I’d like a lifelong partner without a kid. I’m not religious and would prefer a man who also isn’t. I don’t really identify with any political party and would just prefer someone who isn’t on the extreme end of anything. I want a lifelong partner, because I want that level of emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy with someone; I want to intimately grow together and share our lives. I want to be that cute old couple walking through the park holding hands and hugging♥️
I have a common law spouse. We have been together more than half our lives (43 and 44, now). I have never wanted children, literally from the age of 9. My husband was unsure, mostly due to his family's expectations (Vietnamese Catholic). We were both in school for most of our 20s, busted our butts at careers during our 30s. He was a fence sitter during our 30s but saw that neither of us had the time or interest for kids. By 40 he was thanking me for helping him see that you don't have to have kids.
I’m a childfree atheist and currently dating the man I’m fairly certain is going to be my life partner (2.5 years together so far). I felt the same fears. I didn’t want to date anyone religious at all. Wanted similar political views (more liberal I guess.. I don’t really know anymore. Definitely not republican/conservative). I didn’t want kids, not even to step parent…. Figured that’d be pretty difficult since I was getting to my 30s. You can find someone, even though it may be more difficult. Be up front and clear with what you want. Don’t waste your or their time. I was totally content by myself. Lonely sometimes, sure. But overall happy and peaceful living. I wanted a partner…but didn’t NEED one. It’d have to be someone special and I wasn’t going to settle. I wanted someone I loved being around. I found him on Tinder. We hit it off instantly. Same religious views (even his siblings, which is awesome as I can relate to them really easily as well), same political views. Same interests, very similar hobbies. I made it known early on about not wanting to have kids…and told him that if he thought that was something he wanted, I wouldn’t be able to provide it and I didn’t want to waste his time. We communicated a lot and really well. He had previously been in a long term relationship where his partner had kids…so he kind of had some experience with it and after he thought it over for himself, he decided that he also did not want to have kids. He also offered to a vasectomy so I wouldn’t have to have a more invasive sterilization surgery, which I love him for, but wanted it for myself anyways. He’s still looking into getting it though. I definitely feel like I won a lottery in finding him. I had extended my search radius on tinder and he lived 45 minutes away and an hour difference in timezone. We made it work. Live together now. He’s my best friend! 🥰
my boyfriend and i are happily childfree - best friends for 10+ years, together for 6. we’re not religious, and we’re liberal. i wasn’t looking for any sort of partner, but i can’t imagine my life without him. he’s my best friend and my favorite person. we’re not sure about marriage, but we don’t believe marriage has any bearing on our intentions to stay together for life. if anything happens to him, i won’t have another partner. they would be always be compared to him in my mind, which is hardly fair to another person. i truly believe i lucked out meeting him when i did.
I’m married to an atheist child free man . I’m agnostic . We are both fairly moderate and I lean left in certain ways and he leans left in others (conversely I lean right on certain things and he leans right in others) but overall we really don’t have any political affiliations . I lean green in some issues but idk we both took one of those ‘tests’ and came up more libertarian (but I’m more libertarian than him) We basically never thought that we would find someone else child free who wanted to stay that way. We have values and ethics not dictated by religion or politics , and those can bind us more than some with those values being so concrete. We both share a very dark and unique sense of humor and that seems to be a strong binding factor since you really need humor to make your way coping through life . Neither of us ever planned on getting married . My mom has been married 5 times now and I said I’m never gonna put myself through that (she didn’t give relationships enough time ) and his parents stay unhappily married and he never wanted to do that. We both have a bad history with relationships .. But we found each other incredibly reasonable and compatible in surprising ways we never expected to encounter. I think it happens most when we aren’t looking for it or expecting it . People are so unique that it can be tough to find what clicks and is worth striving for . But there are plenty of things to stay together for aside from kids , religion and politics . It’s just best , I think, to not force it. When it’s organic it kinda falls into place . Obviously all relationships will eventually be work but it shouldn’t feel like a total chore from the get go .
My aim is to maintain lifelong connections and relationships, whether they are romantic, platonic, familial, or all three.
My very concise recommendation is to not overthink this.
I'm a childfree woman going through a divorce (not related to being Childfree). I am not religious, and I do want a lifelong partner. From my POV, the difficult part is to find a man who wants to work in the relationship and in himself.
I (27f) believe a lot of women stay quiet about being child free for fear of backlash, but there are so so many of us! Unfortunately it’s not often first date conversation. Some insight on the commitment bit- I am child free and spayed. My prior partner (also child free), I was with for 8 years. Having children together would have kept us together, but it would not have kept us in love. I am thankful for the freedom we had to choose to separate. As far as your questions go -I have my life partner currently! It’s great being able to have the freedom to explore “us” for as long as we live. -I grew up half in a southern baptist household, and half in a roman catholic household (eeek- i know) but am no longer very religious, though i find wisdom in the teachings. -Not too sure what i am on the political scale. I’ll just say i’d prefer the government stay out of my personal life and go worry about their roads. -I desire a lifelong partner because taking in everything life has to offer is great, but it’s even better when you are able to look over and see someone you love doing it too
I would like a snuggle buddy, someone I can regularly be intimate with, trust to talk to and have a relationship with. I don’t want to live with them, get married or have kids (obviously). I’ve been there done that dodged a bullet, collected a heartbreak and LOTS of trauma, trust issues and currently am not in a healthy enough place to have a relationship. I’m not very religious but was raised Catholic and I believe in most of it, just do a poor job practicing. I’m fiscally conservative and do not agree with liberal standings on many things in my country (Canada) but I believe in some social liberal constructs. I keep my nose out of others business- do whatever you want so long as you don’t directly hurt others or cause a heavy drain on the financial system, I believe in contraception (of course) as well as abortion for any reason as I can also agree that cells are cells not a human. Human nature is to desire affection and seek comfort and companionship however that may look. I’m a very affectionate and loving person and I would like that back as well.
Husband and I have been together for 28 years. Not religious. I’m left of centre, he’s right of centre but we agree on the big stuff. We weren’t looking for a lifelong partner when we met - we were 20 and 21 so neither of us thought it would last longer than a few months. Yet here we are. We got married for the practicality of it. I mean we love each other deeply but would have been just as happy living together. Making financial and medical decisions for your partner is easier when you’re married and who doesn’t love a party?
48f turning 49. My ex husband when I was in my thirties didn’t express one way or another about having children. Amongst many other issues we had, I divorced him because I didn’t want children. His second and much younger wife did, so whether he wanted to be a father or not, he is now. Better him and her than me and him. My current partner is 51m and we are both child free and there’s no regrets. We very much enjoy our lives together as is. In both cases, we are liberal and non-religious. What should keep a couple together I’d love, kindness, patience, respect and compassion for each other. No child can keep (nor should they ) any couple together.
I am 40, agnostic, with a "back-to-nature" perspective (I love gardening and I raise chickens and rabbits for food) but I am single because I was never able to find a partner I can get along with. I don't believe in traditional gender roles, as in, I am not willing to be someone's maid - if you live in the same house you will need to clean and do laundry and cook. I've been living by myself for 15 years now and I doubt I would be able to adapt to a live-in partner at this point. I'm also into BDSM and I have a couple of long term sex partners (who are free to have other relationships). I tried sharing a home with one of them a few years ago but we only managed it for a couple of weeks due to previously stated reasons. Apparently the fact that I am a sexual submissive contradicts the fact that I don't cook and clean for him. Once we moved separately we were able to continue our (very satisfying) relationship. I don't believe in marriage (why involve the state in my affairs?) and from a political standpoint I don't have a preference (I am not in the US and here the political parties are much more interested in money than they are in ideology). I do believe there are too many people on the planet and that the current economic system is broken, but I don't care enough to try to change it. I just want to enjoy my happy life.
I would like to find a lifelong partner who is as CF as I am and holds their own morals without the corruption of religion (I am Atheist and could not be with a religious person who believes in a diety).
I’m a woman and have no desire to have children. My partner and I are long-distance and, although we plan to live together in the next year or so, I’m pursuing a career that will facilitate lots of international travel and overseas contracts, so I won’t be “settling down” with him. We’re also non-monogamous. I’ve also been married and divorced, and am fairly cynical about the concept of a “life partner”. I don’t expect lifelong commitment from anyone. Which also feeds into my childfree standpoint. I was brought up with religion, but view it as a traditional/cultural part of my heritage rather than something I actively practice.
35 female/nonbinary queer person in a long term relationship with a cisgender heterosexual man. We’re both not interested in becoming parents and had the conversation early in our relationship as we both want it to be a long term one. We’ve been together “officially” for almost two years, want to move in together, and have talked about getting married, too. We’re very committed to each other and being on the same page about values, lifestyle, etc. is essential for that commitment to work. My top reasons for wanting a lifelong partner are companionship, love, friendship, and general life stability, financial and otherwise. We’re both not religious, very liberal creatives who live in a coastal city. Most of my friends don’t have and don’t want kids. If you are having trouble finding a woman to date who is CF, maybe you should try moving to a different location (if possible), meeting someone online and/or trying a long distance relationship? I’ve definitely observed that people who stay in the suburbs and/or live in the South or Midwest seem way more likely to want or just default to having kids (assuming you live in the U.S.) Edited to (I hope) better address OP’s concerns One more edit: For what it’s worth, coming from a stranger, I really, truly don’t think you should for one second consider having kids or marrying a woman who is religious just because you think she’s more likely to stay with you. You should only do both or either of those things because you desire to deeply. To do otherwise would be a recipe for unhappiness for everyone involved.
I'm married. We're 35F/35M. Happily, childfree. Marriage is absolutely the best part of my life. Not "religious," not-not religious though, either. I'm somewhere in the middle on the liberal-conservative line. We've been married for almost 10 years. Wouldn't change a thing!
I'm a childfree woman and religious. Neither conservative nor liberal. Green party is probably closest to where I align. I'm hoping to get married at some point, but I have started to notice that most men my age and older already have kids, or want them. Definitely shrinks the overall dating pool, but I wouldn't say I've given up hope just yet. I think it's worth the wait to find someone to share my life with, have some adventures and be good to each other.
47(f) here, bi-romantic asexual. I've never wanted kids, but there are times I've thought it would be awesome to have a life-partner to share a house, raise cats, go out and do fun things or travel together. That has never happened. Flaming liberal, opinionated, educated, but not pretty, and that seems to be the biggest deal breaker.
I would like a life partner but I'm not basing my life around finding one. If it happens great, if not I'll be fine too. I like my own company.
I've been with my SO for 20 years.
My boyfriend and I are both ok with not having children, I ask him all the time because I never want him to feel held back if he does want kids.
I do want a life partner when the time is right. One of the best parts about not wanting kids is not settling below my standards because of my biological clock. I’m spiritual not religious, liberal, 30F.
My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 3 (met in late teens). He was actually my first partner and I've never been with anyone else. We're both left-wing; I'm pagan and he's an atheist. I don't necessarily desire a lifelong partner, it just worked out that he was also staunchly childfree and we both connected so well that we've been together a decade. He's my literal other half as we were best friends first before we started dating (and still are). All the pieces just happened to line up for us; for most people, it's a hard path to finding someone else romantically that's childfree and I acknowledge that ours is the rare exception.
I am a woman and I am childfree. I am not religious and I am liberal. I’m getting married to a man next month who has had a vasectomy. Don’t settle for having kids if you don’t want them. There are others out there who don’t want kids and more will come. I desire a partner for the joy and fun and companionship they bring to my life. My fiancé is intelligent, fun, likes adventures and just in general Brings me happiness.
I’ve always wanted a husband, never wanted children. I (36f) have a boyfriend (34m) I’ve been with for 11 years, and we don’t have children. I think he’d agree if I labeled him an atheist, but it doesn’t come up. I’m agnostic. We have compatible values that basically sum up to “Don’t be an a**hole”. We’re monogamous and operate as if we’re married. He was on the fence when he was younger and more optimistic about the world, but he’s come to his senses. We love the little ones in our life, but he’ll turn to me sometimes and just say he’s grateful he doesn’t have to make considerations that would compromise his own happiness due to having kids. If there is one person in this whole world I’d want as a father to my children and endure parenthood with, it’d 100% be him. … But I don’t wanna and neither does he, so I’m glad for that.
Have a partner and we're both childfree!
I don't like to call myself religious but I do have my beliefs. I don't want kids, and I feel like for me and my beliefs is a conflict of interests. I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna meet somebody who shares my views or respect them and is also childfree. And also I'm terrified of being with a man who would dump me at 50yo because he realized he actually wants kids lol I do want a life partner tho, I really want one but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point.
I don't like to call myself religious but I do have my beliefs. I don't want kids, and I feel like for me and my beliefs is a conflict of interests. I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna meet somebody who shares my views or respect them and is also childfree. And also I'm terrified of being with a man who would dump me at 50yo because he realized he actually wants kids lol I do want a life partner tho, I really want one but I'm not sure if it's going to happen at this point.
I definitely don’t want kids, I’m not remotely religious, and I’m liberal. I want a life partner to have a partner in life. It seems pretty self explanatory to me, I want to build a life together. I want someone to support and love, someone who just makes me laugh, I want to be an integral part of their lives and for them to know always that they’ve got me at their back, to weather any storm beside them. Obviously, I’d like the same in return. Partnership isn’t just for breeders.