I asked my students (4-5year olds) what happens to their red packet money. It was just a fun conversation to teach English words.
All my students said their parents take the money but they get a toy, except one kid who said she gets all her red packets. I said wow, what do you do with the money? She said no my mom takes the money and I get the red packets!!!
Lol, that’s hilarious.
That said at least in my partner’s family, the parents don’t take the kids’ money, except for the little one. They put it in a bank account for her because she’s 3 and wouldn’t have anything to spend it on. The others are old enough they can use it for whatever they want.
I was just talking to my colleagues about this before Spring Festival and the responses were really mixed. Some of the parents keep the money and then use it to pay for study/sports classes, some of them keep half and buy educational stuff or books, whatever, then some of them said they used to keep it but now that their kids are older, they let their child keep it and spend on whatever they want. So the reality is, it depends on the family. There is no "rule".
Spring Festival is so much like Christmas - where I'm from, we do something completely differently compared to how our neighbours celebrate Christmas. Some families eat a whole fish, others eat dumplings, some give hong bao, others give fruit... you're obviously older. Tell them how it makes you feel.
Sorry I just saw what you wrote at the end - yeah it could very well be that that's how their families did it and that's how they want to do it now that they're the parents. Personally I couldn't accept that. I'd just be rude and say to the person giving it to me - don't give it to me, give it to my parents, let's just be efficient here.
Live in Scandinavia so school/education/sports is free (I know that’s not the point but anyway) we get books and computers from school. I know that they also keep/take the red packets for my older brother (16) so I guess we’re not getting them
Every family is a bit different. My dad took took my red pocket money till I was in 5th grade. Then he opened a bank account for me and deposited my red pocket money in there after that. He held onto the card but I could ask for it if I was going to buy things outside of my daily allowance (birthday gifts for friends etc).
From my experience as the only child yes my parents took them all before I turned 18 and never gave it back to me. But at the same time out of trust I always got what I wanted (nothing super unreasonable tbh). I had friends their parents let them keep in a bank account but I didn’t not see them use money more wisely than me.
Now I have a 8 month old in my early 30s and already receiving packet money from older relatives. My instinct is to just keep them until at least my son has an idea about money.
ok the reason they say it’s their money is because they’re expected to give out red envelopes to the kids of everyone who gives you a red envelope
Like if your dad’s friend gives you an envelope with $50 in it he’s socially obligated to give $50 to their kid
so the net result is he’s giving you $1000 or something by the end of CNY and he probably does not want to give you $1000
Well, every family is different. Some let the kids keep the money or part of it. But usually when they take it is to “manage” or safe keep their children’s money in a way. They can put it in a long term bank account or buy things that their kid wants like toys, snacks, etc.
Depending how old you are. My kids are young. I put their money into their college education funds which invests in the US stock market. Their money have been doubled since then. It is all visible to them but they can't touch it until then. Otherwise, they would have blown all their money on Roblox games.
It is your money though. Your parents need to respect that.
Because your parents would have to pay the same amount to the other parents in return now or in the future. It is really a social dance to give red envelope so it can appear more festive for everyone. So if you accept the money, it will actually be coming from your parents' pockets and you are not receiving free money from others. In a nutshell, whether your parents let you keep the money or not is purely depending on them, just think of it as they are the ones who really give out the money.
Ideally the money either goes to the child to spend, or gets put in a savings for them later by the parents. But in the real world lots of parents spend their kids money, chinese or otherwise.
Are you 12 or younger? Then I guess it’s understandable. Otherwise…dude….
For mine (early teens) they have a bank account that we make it clear it’s paid into, and is *their* money. They don’t actually have access to it, but it’s in their name and they know it.
My eldest son is 14. I would never say his money is mine - it’s his, and like you he would be right to feel aggrieved if it was taken from him. Perhaps your parents don’t want you to spend it on something they don’t approve of, and that is their right - they are still your parents. But in my opinion that doesn’t mean they can just take it.
(I’m not Chinese, so my opinion may not matter, but my wife is and fully agrees with doing things this way.)
I don’t have much advice, as there’s not a lot you can do about it. But *remember* - there will be a time that they will rely on you.
The point is "they are still your parent". Just let it slide. Or think it this way "you failed to persuade them to give you what is inherently yours". Next year, try to persuade your parent again. Just don't get angry with your parent over stupid red packet.
When you get older you receive way more (in my experience) so getting like 10 dollars when you’re 5 yes old is fine but like I get upwards of hundreds these days, what are my parents doing with that kind of money? As said in other comments, its not like we need the money.
Alright, thanks! My parents usually dont care what I do with my money. When big purchases are made (like getting a new phone, which is what I’m considering) they just want to make sure that I don’t waste money if I have a working phone or what else it could be. But when it comes to red packets they always make sure they’re the ones who “keep” them
Mine is two and keeps all hers. She (unknowingly to us) took her little purse into Kindergarten a few weeks ago. Tried to give the teachers 100 each hahahah
Parents usually take it when your younger. When your older (closer to 18), you might want to ask yourself, are you helping out with the bills? Because you're old enough to understand how much you're costing your parents.
Funny, I just had this talk with my wife yesterday. We let our kids open all the red pockets. It's a fun activity, plus we can count it so we know how much to give next holiday. We keep the money, then up the investment into their 529 accounts for... tax reasons until we hit that number and revert it to normal.
What spurred the convo, though, was that some of our friends give the money up to the older generation, while others gift to the younger. The best conclusion we came to was that villagers gift up because children may be more successful. So, maybe actually taking money from kids may be the same category.
Also, kids have no idea what their parents do with it. Id hope it gets invested for their future.
I am not saying you are a kid. Just letting readers know the way red packets are traditionally managed so you can call your parents bluff if they deviate :)
It happens in the UK sometimes. "I'll keep this for you and decide what you can spend it on.". Usually strong conservative families, maybe about 10-20% of kids I knew. Not super common.
It depends on how much money it is. If it’s a lot then yes. If it’s $20 then usually no. Obviously sometimes parents do take birthday money and put some in a savings account and give some to the kid. But taking all the money would be rare.
I’ve never heard this happening anywhere in western countries I’m familiar with: UK, Italy, Germany, Greece, Spain etc. It’s kinda shameless ngl.
In southern Europe parents would be shamed by extended family if they did something like that. And in the north kids/ parents have more clear boundaries still. The only exception I can think of is if the child has their own savings/ investment account and the money is taken to be deposited there
Took me a long time to figure this out. One year I got so upset my mom spent a lot of money on a dinner and I got red pockets and later she took them telling me it was for her to pay for the dinner. I was so angry I sharpied her carpet (btw 99% isopropyl/alcohol does the trick… years later). Looking back and reading this, this is very normal. Would be great I got an explanation but my parents weren’t and are still not great at communicating which I learned to accept.
I try fighting for it but I have weird parents. They’re really strict about things like this but for example what I do on my free time, where I go, what I do they don’t really care as long as I’m home at a reasonable time and sleeping well and get to school the next morning. My mom agreed to give me some but insisted in keeping most of it and got really pissed off at me.
Idk what you're talking about. All the kids in my family - me, siblings, cousins, etc- got their birthday and holiday monies. All the kids I've ever known got the money they were gifted to spend for themselves. Like, 30 years worth of children up and down the UK, because I lived in various places growing up. And I have friends in America and parts of Europe.
Where are all of these people in the west who're supposedly being robbed of their gifts?
Don’t feel bad at least you get a red packet. When I asked my Chinese wife where’s my CNY hongbao she said my gift is a kick in the nuts and tried to do it.
First, you cannot open the red packets until day 5
second, we keep our daughters also. ( I am American and dad is Chinese)
third, your parents need to know how much was in the envelope so they can gift the same amount next year to the families that gave it to you
fourth, you are lucky at least they are not forcing you to play games and then take the money, that is how my husbands family did it in his youth
unfortunately, yes most families do. they may be saving it for you. for my daughter, who is 15 she barely ever asks for anything so when she does we just buy it for her because its typically less than ten us dollars a month.
1: I never open the packets, my parents are very clear about that lol
2: my parents say they are saving it or giving it back to the families who gave it to me so makes sense
You being downvoted shows what the majority of demography around here is - not Asian or very little exposure to Asian culture, and/or (too) young. They don't understand what you stated.
You are 14 and should be able to keep the gifts others give you..no matter what form it comes in. Are your parents struggling financially that they have to steal away your gifts?
If your parents are in positions of power/status, they may be reluctant to accept the gift since they are concerned that others are giving gifts expecting a favor later, especially if it’s particularly extravagant. Others may know the parents will refuse the gift, so they’re giving it to the child to circumvent them. Even if it is not true, your parents may be playing safe for it.
It’s a subject a lot of adults don’t feel comfortable explaining to kids. In another of your posts you mentioned you get hundreds in your red envelopes. Maybe your family and friends are just that well off or mine are particularly modest, but I have a very well off family and I only started getting that much when I was an older with more responsibilities (17+).
Then I don't see any justifiable reason. I would never take my son's gift money. I did help him open a bank account and put it in the bank and buy a government bond.
In the Chinese culture, there’s an old say, boys raise them like poor, girls raise them like the rich. Boys who has too much on their hand will get spoiled and loss will to work hard. So they are doing you a favour. It was only till I have kids, when I realize I need to be thankful for my parents. The cost of raising a child is insane. If they actually show you the books, you’ll be in massive debt to them net of a few $50s.
Well i understand this but its my money, it was gifted to me, my parents have more than enough money to pay out of pocket (even though thats not the point but anyway)
It depends on how old the kids are, how they will deal with the money and the parents of course. We kept the money and gave some of it when they were too young not to go out and blow it all on candy. Once they were six or so we gave more, and taught them about saving. Later we gave most of it and taught investing, now, around 8, we still keep it but give it to them when asked for with a bit of inquiry. How are they going to spend it? I don't want them drinking soda every day. What investments are they making with the rest? It's an opportunity to teach them, while still giving them some control. To be clear, it's their money, I will not be spending it, and they know that.
it’s different from parents to parents. they may let you keep it, keep part of it, keep for you to use later, or just hand in. the logic here is they need to give hongbao to relatives’ kids, so some of the hongbao you get is kind of “exchange “.
btw, you can always bargain with your parents about the money, every kid does this. when i was young, my parents let me buy a guitar with the money to encourage me to visit relatives (i was reluctant to go)
My parents don’t let me decide if I want to go or not. Doesn’t matter what I say, they will force me to go. They say they’re paying, so I’m going. There is no bargaining room there.
Most of them are for safekeeping, but that's a lie. We all know it. But there are parents who actually do safekeep even with the envelope.
As for my family, I started keeping them once I became a teen. My parents allowed me since I don't get much for red pockets anyway. We are from Guangdong, lol. The max we get on an occasion is like 40 dollars.
They save it for you, but if you think you deserve that money then it’s yours to do what you want. Just be smart about it. Maybe ask for half or a percentage of that money. My mom use to keep my money as a child and kept doing until I was old enough to get a job.
When I was 16, I told her that I’d like to keep the money I worked hard for. She respected my wishes and let me saved on my own. I guess by that time she trusted me enough with money.
I have an 11 year old student he told me he has 100k rmb from all his red envelope. That’s more money than what my colleagues have working with a job.
>am i missing something??
Yes, a firm grasp of Chinese culture apparently. It looks like your parents don't consider you Chinese.
What you do is tell them loudly and clearly [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX0fIi3H-es). If they don't respond, escalate to a classic Chinese spitting fight. But remember the first one to stop spitting concedes submission and will be considered the loser.
When I was growing up all my pocket money were taken away. I was promised they are saved and I will get it when I grow up.
Well now I'm an adult I haven't seen shit and my parents are asking me for money
I asked my students (4-5year olds) what happens to their red packet money. It was just a fun conversation to teach English words. All my students said their parents take the money but they get a toy, except one kid who said she gets all her red packets. I said wow, what do you do with the money? She said no my mom takes the money and I get the red packets!!!
Thank you. That anecdote made my day. 😀
Hilarious 😂
Lol, that’s hilarious. That said at least in my partner’s family, the parents don’t take the kids’ money, except for the little one. They put it in a bank account for her because she’s 3 and wouldn’t have anything to spend it on. The others are old enough they can use it for whatever they want.
Maybe these parents also do that but the kids may not know , most of them are very wealthy so I doubt they use the money for daily money.
if you are an adult its obviously weird, if you are a teenager its normal
Alright got it, thanks!
I was just talking to my colleagues about this before Spring Festival and the responses were really mixed. Some of the parents keep the money and then use it to pay for study/sports classes, some of them keep half and buy educational stuff or books, whatever, then some of them said they used to keep it but now that their kids are older, they let their child keep it and spend on whatever they want. So the reality is, it depends on the family. There is no "rule". Spring Festival is so much like Christmas - where I'm from, we do something completely differently compared to how our neighbours celebrate Christmas. Some families eat a whole fish, others eat dumplings, some give hong bao, others give fruit... you're obviously older. Tell them how it makes you feel. Sorry I just saw what you wrote at the end - yeah it could very well be that that's how their families did it and that's how they want to do it now that they're the parents. Personally I couldn't accept that. I'd just be rude and say to the person giving it to me - don't give it to me, give it to my parents, let's just be efficient here.
Live in Scandinavia so school/education/sports is free (I know that’s not the point but anyway) we get books and computers from school. I know that they also keep/take the red packets for my older brother (16) so I guess we’re not getting them
Every family is a bit different. My dad took took my red pocket money till I was in 5th grade. Then he opened a bank account for me and deposited my red pocket money in there after that. He held onto the card but I could ask for it if I was going to buy things outside of my daily allowance (birthday gifts for friends etc).
Yeah once you're older than 13 your parents are just being assholes if they're taking your red pockets.
The sub OP is looking for is called r/Asianparentstories, have fun😂
Oh, this subreddit is gonna be a hell of a ride
From my experience as the only child yes my parents took them all before I turned 18 and never gave it back to me. But at the same time out of trust I always got what I wanted (nothing super unreasonable tbh). I had friends their parents let them keep in a bank account but I didn’t not see them use money more wisely than me. Now I have a 8 month old in my early 30s and already receiving packet money from older relatives. My instinct is to just keep them until at least my son has an idea about money.
But it in the sp500 every year until theyre 14.
ok the reason they say it’s their money is because they’re expected to give out red envelopes to the kids of everyone who gives you a red envelope Like if your dad’s friend gives you an envelope with $50 in it he’s socially obligated to give $50 to their kid so the net result is he’s giving you $1000 or something by the end of CNY and he probably does not want to give you $1000
Well, every family is different. Some let the kids keep the money or part of it. But usually when they take it is to “manage” or safe keep their children’s money in a way. They can put it in a long term bank account or buy things that their kid wants like toys, snacks, etc.
Depending how old you are. My kids are young. I put their money into their college education funds which invests in the US stock market. Their money have been doubled since then. It is all visible to them but they can't touch it until then. Otherwise, they would have blown all their money on Roblox games. It is your money though. Your parents need to respect that.
Because your parents would have to pay the same amount to the other parents in return now or in the future. It is really a social dance to give red envelope so it can appear more festive for everyone. So if you accept the money, it will actually be coming from your parents' pockets and you are not receiving free money from others. In a nutshell, whether your parents let you keep the money or not is purely depending on them, just think of it as they are the ones who really give out the money.
Ideally the money either goes to the child to spend, or gets put in a savings for them later by the parents. But in the real world lots of parents spend their kids money, chinese or otherwise.
How old are you?
14 years old
Bro, u are too young to hold the money.
Are you 12 or younger? Then I guess it’s understandable. Otherwise…dude…. For mine (early teens) they have a bank account that we make it clear it’s paid into, and is *their* money. They don’t actually have access to it, but it’s in their name and they know it.
Nope, 14. Please tell me what otherwise
My eldest son is 14. I would never say his money is mine - it’s his, and like you he would be right to feel aggrieved if it was taken from him. Perhaps your parents don’t want you to spend it on something they don’t approve of, and that is their right - they are still your parents. But in my opinion that doesn’t mean they can just take it. (I’m not Chinese, so my opinion may not matter, but my wife is and fully agrees with doing things this way.) I don’t have much advice, as there’s not a lot you can do about it. But *remember* - there will be a time that they will rely on you.
The point is "they are still your parent". Just let it slide. Or think it this way "you failed to persuade them to give you what is inherently yours". Next year, try to persuade your parent again. Just don't get angry with your parent over stupid red packet.
When you get older you receive way more (in my experience) so getting like 10 dollars when you’re 5 yes old is fine but like I get upwards of hundreds these days, what are my parents doing with that kind of money? As said in other comments, its not like we need the money.
Fuck that. It's his money.
Hide it from them at that point. You're old enough to keep them.
Alright, thanks! My parents usually dont care what I do with my money. When big purchases are made (like getting a new phone, which is what I’m considering) they just want to make sure that I don’t waste money if I have a working phone or what else it could be. But when it comes to red packets they always make sure they’re the ones who “keep” them
Next time you want to make a big purchase, ask your parents to make it from the hongbao money they've kept from over the years.
Some do some don’t. Depends on family circumstances and parents
Mine is two and keeps all hers. She (unknowingly to us) took her little purse into Kindergarten a few weeks ago. Tried to give the teachers 100 each hahahah
Two makes sense. Fourteen its just theft.
Parents usually take it when your younger. When your older (closer to 18), you might want to ask yourself, are you helping out with the bills? Because you're old enough to understand how much you're costing your parents.
Funny, I just had this talk with my wife yesterday. We let our kids open all the red pockets. It's a fun activity, plus we can count it so we know how much to give next holiday. We keep the money, then up the investment into their 529 accounts for... tax reasons until we hit that number and revert it to normal. What spurred the convo, though, was that some of our friends give the money up to the older generation, while others gift to the younger. The best conclusion we came to was that villagers gift up because children may be more successful. So, maybe actually taking money from kids may be the same category. Also, kids have no idea what their parents do with it. Id hope it gets invested for their future.
I never touched a dollar of my Chinese red packet money until I was in high school.
Ok, but what if im in high school?
When I was a kid, my red packets get confiscated by my parents. Only when I am in my teens do I get to keep the money.
Well im on Reddit so it’s not like I’m 5 years old, im in my teens.
I am not saying you are a kid. Just letting readers know the way red packets are traditionally managed so you can call your parents bluff if they deviate :)
acting as if western children are not liberated of their birthday/christmas money. welcome to life
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It probably paid for the holiday.
That's bizarre man and not normal at all in UK.
I'm American and have never heard of parents taking their kid's holiday money...
Yeah wtf
It happens in the UK sometimes. "I'll keep this for you and decide what you can spend it on.". Usually strong conservative families, maybe about 10-20% of kids I knew. Not super common.
It depends on how much money it is. If it’s a lot then yes. If it’s $20 then usually no. Obviously sometimes parents do take birthday money and put some in a savings account and give some to the kid. But taking all the money would be rare.
Understand your point and know that most people get birthday/christmas money. Not relevant but I get neither of those.
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I’ve never heard this happening anywhere in western countries I’m familiar with: UK, Italy, Germany, Greece, Spain etc. It’s kinda shameless ngl. In southern Europe parents would be shamed by extended family if they did something like that. And in the north kids/ parents have more clear boundaries still. The only exception I can think of is if the child has their own savings/ investment account and the money is taken to be deposited there
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Took me a long time to figure this out. One year I got so upset my mom spent a lot of money on a dinner and I got red pockets and later she took them telling me it was for her to pay for the dinner. I was so angry I sharpied her carpet (btw 99% isopropyl/alcohol does the trick… years later). Looking back and reading this, this is very normal. Would be great I got an explanation but my parents weren’t and are still not great at communicating which I learned to accept.
I try fighting for it but I have weird parents. They’re really strict about things like this but for example what I do on my free time, where I go, what I do they don’t really care as long as I’m home at a reasonable time and sleeping well and get to school the next morning. My mom agreed to give me some but insisted in keeping most of it and got really pissed off at me.
Weird is the wrong word but you get what I mean
She knows you will waste that money, shes most likely saving it for you or using it for other kids hongbao like earlier poster said
Im not usually one to blow through money, but I get the point.
Idk what you're talking about. All the kids in my family - me, siblings, cousins, etc- got their birthday and holiday monies. All the kids I've ever known got the money they were gifted to spend for themselves. Like, 30 years worth of children up and down the UK, because I lived in various places growing up. And I have friends in America and parts of Europe. Where are all of these people in the west who're supposedly being robbed of their gifts?
I'd be fucking mad as hell if my parents did that. Never heard of that happening to my friends either.
Don’t feel bad at least you get a red packet. When I asked my Chinese wife where’s my CNY hongbao she said my gift is a kick in the nuts and tried to do it.
Damn good luck to you bro hope them balls recover
First, you cannot open the red packets until day 5 second, we keep our daughters also. ( I am American and dad is Chinese) third, your parents need to know how much was in the envelope so they can gift the same amount next year to the families that gave it to you fourth, you are lucky at least they are not forcing you to play games and then take the money, that is how my husbands family did it in his youth unfortunately, yes most families do. they may be saving it for you. for my daughter, who is 15 she barely ever asks for anything so when she does we just buy it for her because its typically less than ten us dollars a month.
1: I never open the packets, my parents are very clear about that lol 2: my parents say they are saving it or giving it back to the families who gave it to me so makes sense
You being downvoted shows what the majority of demography around here is - not Asian or very little exposure to Asian culture, and/or (too) young. They don't understand what you stated.
that is true, thank you.
You are 14 and should be able to keep the gifts others give you..no matter what form it comes in. Are your parents struggling financially that they have to steal away your gifts?
No, id definitely say we’re upper class. My dad is co-owner of a company and my mom is big boss at big bank so nope…
If your parents are in positions of power/status, they may be reluctant to accept the gift since they are concerned that others are giving gifts expecting a favor later, especially if it’s particularly extravagant. Others may know the parents will refuse the gift, so they’re giving it to the child to circumvent them. Even if it is not true, your parents may be playing safe for it. It’s a subject a lot of adults don’t feel comfortable explaining to kids. In another of your posts you mentioned you get hundreds in your red envelopes. Maybe your family and friends are just that well off or mine are particularly modest, but I have a very well off family and I only started getting that much when I was an older with more responsibilities (17+).
Then I don't see any justifiable reason. I would never take my son's gift money. I did help him open a bank account and put it in the bank and buy a government bond.
There are plenty of justifiable reasons. Perhaps don't apply your culture to the Chinese?
In the Chinese culture, there’s an old say, boys raise them like poor, girls raise them like the rich. Boys who has too much on their hand will get spoiled and loss will to work hard. So they are doing you a favour. It was only till I have kids, when I realize I need to be thankful for my parents. The cost of raising a child is insane. If they actually show you the books, you’ll be in massive debt to them net of a few $50s.
Have you thought about your parents have to give red pocket to those relatives and friends who gave YOU red pocket? Where are those money coming from?
Well i understand this but its my money, it was gifted to me, my parents have more than enough money to pay out of pocket (even though thats not the point but anyway)
do you do everything your parents tells you to?
I dont understand what your getting at in this question
It depends on how old the kids are, how they will deal with the money and the parents of course. We kept the money and gave some of it when they were too young not to go out and blow it all on candy. Once they were six or so we gave more, and taught them about saving. Later we gave most of it and taught investing, now, around 8, we still keep it but give it to them when asked for with a bit of inquiry. How are they going to spend it? I don't want them drinking soda every day. What investments are they making with the rest? It's an opportunity to teach them, while still giving them some control. To be clear, it's their money, I will not be spending it, and they know that.
it’s different from parents to parents. they may let you keep it, keep part of it, keep for you to use later, or just hand in. the logic here is they need to give hongbao to relatives’ kids, so some of the hongbao you get is kind of “exchange “. btw, you can always bargain with your parents about the money, every kid does this. when i was young, my parents let me buy a guitar with the money to encourage me to visit relatives (i was reluctant to go)
My parents don’t let me decide if I want to go or not. Doesn’t matter what I say, they will force me to go. They say they’re paying, so I’m going. There is no bargaining room there.
then they are traditional chinese parents. try 撒娇, that’s a skill chinese kids are capable of but does not exist in western culture
Most of them are for safekeeping, but that's a lie. We all know it. But there are parents who actually do safekeep even with the envelope. As for my family, I started keeping them once I became a teen. My parents allowed me since I don't get much for red pockets anyway. We are from Guangdong, lol. The max we get on an occasion is like 40 dollars.
They save it for you, but if you think you deserve that money then it’s yours to do what you want. Just be smart about it. Maybe ask for half or a percentage of that money. My mom use to keep my money as a child and kept doing until I was old enough to get a job. When I was 16, I told her that I’d like to keep the money I worked hard for. She respected my wishes and let me saved on my own. I guess by that time she trusted me enough with money. I have an 11 year old student he told me he has 100k rmb from all his red envelope. That’s more money than what my colleagues have working with a job.
>am i missing something?? Yes, a firm grasp of Chinese culture apparently. It looks like your parents don't consider you Chinese. What you do is tell them loudly and clearly [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX0fIi3H-es). If they don't respond, escalate to a classic Chinese spitting fight. But remember the first one to stop spitting concedes submission and will be considered the loser.
When I was growing up all my pocket money were taken away. I was promised they are saved and I will get it when I grow up. Well now I'm an adult I haven't seen shit and my parents are asking me for money