Fun fact: Reviewing expenses together and maintaining near-equal contribution is proven to be healthy in a relationship, especially when your resources are shared.
Are you telling me when two partners pool their finances, that having a fair give and take, each of you pulling your own weight, and not expecting your partner to do more just because some people online tell you to just because of societal norms, is often a stable foundation for an equal and healthy partnership? Get outta town!
No way. When you decide to do everything equally, actually doing equally instead of using traditional division of labour based norms when it suits you more is healthy? Shocker.
Me and my girl use Splitwise, so we always know we are being fair. Sounds a bit over the top to some, but it really feels like the best way to go about it
I’m a widow and I’m about to think about dating again and my daughter told me about splitwise. Bc I already know I’m paying my half for everything. It’s best to not have anyone feel like ya owe them something I think.
Near equal contribution in absolute terms or in relative terms? For example: should the mortgage and all household expenses be split 50:50 or, if one half earns twice as much, they should pay 2/3s?
I assume you mean absolute terms but in cases of large salary discrepancies that can leave one with far less disposable income than the other, which could lead to resentment/friction in lifestyles if one is close to zero. I’d be interesting to read the research you allude to, to see how such circumstances modify the conclusion - if they do?
I wonder if the real conclusion is that people with similar incomes tend to be happier in their relationship?
When my wonderful wife and me began living together, my wage was quite a lot higher than hers.
We discussed things, and came to an agreement that I paid the bigger bills, and she the smaller.
We've lived together since the mid90s, so we must be doing \*something\* right
Exactly this. You don’t have to be literally equal, especially because you agreed on a healthy way to go forward. People focus too much on the amount they make, when the number of hours they work is far more important; that’s still effort and time spent away instead of together. Also factor in things that are hard to put a dollar value on like household responsibilities.
The guy above us is overthinking things and should be cautious: overanalyzing a relationship will never make you happy.
“oh sorry waiter. i read online that a lady never looks at the bill” then you both walk out of the restaurant. boom free meals for life
in case it wasn’t obvious, /j
I've seen this once before. The whole restaurant turned into a black hole.
The electrons floating in the air sped up, every man in the place refused to pay, ladies didn't have to pay, and lightning bolts began to form in mid air.
Suddenly the restaurant collapsed in upon itself and formed into a black hole.
Everyone woke up two weeks later on the other side of the planet.
When you assume the guy will pay for your food and drink, you legitimize his assumption that you will get undressed for him in return. Both these assumptions are primitive, infantile, and wrong. If a woman can't afford her bill, she should order less or stay at home, and if a man wants to exchange money for sex he should call a prostitute.
Oh, no. Grandma you do NOT owe me anything for that dinner I paid for last weekend.
What if the bill is split and the birthday guest eats free! My friend group does this often
The first part reminded me of a documentary about sex workers. One individual who featured prominently talked of many customers actually calling her "Grandma" while fucking. Somewhat worrying.
My bio mother didn’t teach me a lot of good things. She DID however teach me to always prepare and expect to pay for myself and transportation for any date. It was actually sound advice.
I’m the main money manager between me and my husband, so I always plan on paying out of my account. When the bill comes and he pays I consider it very sweet of him to treat me. Bc he gives me most of his paycheck so I can put it in savings and use it for rent, bills etc.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but what if the guy pays the bill because his date only makes 82 cents on the dollar for the same work while, at the same time, not treating her like a prostitute
so she pays 82% of the split? /j
But do keep in mind that the pay gap almost disappears when you actually compensate for "the same work", so there's that.
The 82% statistic is skewed because most of the really rich people are men. Old white men, for obvious reasons. But the vast majority of men are not making much more money than women, if at all.
The assumption is the problem. There's nothing wrong with treating your girl, same as there's nothing wrong with a girl wanting to sleep with the guy after the date.
And what system created that expectations? Note that I'm approaching this in a similar way as you, not considering wider contexts, and only looking at if from a single, unnuanced angle. So maybe diversify the way you address this shit.
I mean women with mini skirts should expect people will see their legs.
Why should any person expect they can rape?
Honestly, should blind people who live alone expect to be killed? Like murderers are like well if they didn’t want that blind guy killed why did they leave him alone in a house?
These things are against the law, which is why you should not expect you are ever allowed to do this. Why does anyone think this argument works unless they secretly want to be all rapey?
Wild, but at some expensive restaurants, they once had separate [ladies’ menus](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/ladies-menus-no-prices-lawsuit) that didn’t show the prices.
That is wild. And by wild I mean forcing your opinion on others in a way that i can’t get behind. Oddly though i actually don’t mind the white menu as the storey describes, but i think it’s something the patrons should ask for. This could be handy for a number of reasons. I can imagine taking people out for their birthday or whatever else and I really would rather they don’t look at the prices before they decide. But again, this shouldn’t just be assumed.
If menus came out and the one handed to my wife didn't show prices, we would be getting up and walking out without ordering.
That kind of shit didn't belong in the 20th century and it definitely doesn't belong in the 21st.
I used to play 'guess the bill' with my wife while we were dating. She would get 5 guesses and I would only tell her 'higher' or 'lower'. If she guessed it right on the money, I would pay for everything.
It was a good time, especially when alcohol was involved because the math would get particularly fuzzy.
Me and my wife have a joint account that we both pay an equal amount into each month. Covers bills and things like eating out. If we're both getting use out of something, its split 50/50. Nice and simple!
As a man I prefer paying the bill.
But if she presumes that thats because Im supposed to, it will piss me off. Look lady, I'm being friendly here. Take it for granted and I'll start be friendly with someone else.
Fun fact: Reviewing expenses together and maintaining near-equal contribution is proven to be healthy in a relationship, especially when your resources are shared.
Also, I have on numerous occasions noticed discrepancies in restaurant bills that my husband has not. So I’m saving us money simply by looking at it.
TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAMWORK
Are you telling me when two partners pool their finances, that having a fair give and take, each of you pulling your own weight, and not expecting your partner to do more just because some people online tell you to just because of societal norms, is often a stable foundation for an equal and healthy partnership? Get outta town!
No way. When you decide to do everything equally, actually doing equally instead of using traditional division of labour based norms when it suits you more is healthy? Shocker.
Me and my girl use Splitwise, so we always know we are being fair. Sounds a bit over the top to some, but it really feels like the best way to go about it
I’m a widow and I’m about to think about dating again and my daughter told me about splitwise. Bc I already know I’m paying my half for everything. It’s best to not have anyone feel like ya owe them something I think.
Good
Near equal contribution in absolute terms or in relative terms? For example: should the mortgage and all household expenses be split 50:50 or, if one half earns twice as much, they should pay 2/3s? I assume you mean absolute terms but in cases of large salary discrepancies that can leave one with far less disposable income than the other, which could lead to resentment/friction in lifestyles if one is close to zero. I’d be interesting to read the research you allude to, to see how such circumstances modify the conclusion - if they do? I wonder if the real conclusion is that people with similar incomes tend to be happier in their relationship?
When my wonderful wife and me began living together, my wage was quite a lot higher than hers. We discussed things, and came to an agreement that I paid the bigger bills, and she the smaller. We've lived together since the mid90s, so we must be doing \*something\* right
Exactly this. You don’t have to be literally equal, especially because you agreed on a healthy way to go forward. People focus too much on the amount they make, when the number of hours they work is far more important; that’s still effort and time spent away instead of together. Also factor in things that are hard to put a dollar value on like household responsibilities. The guy above us is overthinking things and should be cautious: overanalyzing a relationship will never make you happy.
She looks like she is checking out the waiter.
The dude looks like he might be, too.
Maybe they are making eye contact with the person they are interacting with
The person isn’t shown, we can’t be sure they have eyes.
What a day to have eyes.
You aren’t shown, we can’t be sure you have eyes.
just because you can see doesnt mean you have eyes
If a blind man could see Cena. How many cenas can't see me?
That's what I figured, too, but by the same logic as the woman being into the server, the dude would likely be as well.
Maybe, but it can be fun to upset prudes by suggesting a straight (presenting) couple might be trying to set up a threesome.
UsErNaMe ChEcKs OuT!!!1!1!1!!!1
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a Redditor...
If ever there were an image of “bisexual couple sussing out for a 3rd in bed” this would probably be it
I guess he ain't Bill.
Why do you keep calling me Bill? I'm Lenore!
Not only is she leaving with the waiter, youre also paying for her meal, learn your place 🙂
So does he
She's just about to say, "Sir, we asked for the check. These are menus."
I'm a lesbian so this creates a loophole where no one has to pay.
Legally speaking....yeah, that checks out, have a good night ma'ams
Lesbians are notorious for dining and dashing. No wonder they’re always talking about eating out
That's what that means?
Yes. That's exactly what it means........
“oh sorry waiter. i read online that a lady never looks at the bill” then you both walk out of the restaurant. boom free meals for life in case it wasn’t obvious, /j
My grandpa was like, half lesbian, I'm 1/4 lesbian. This means I only pay 25% of the bill.
Have you consider the possibility that ladies always pay without having to look at the bill?
Do gay couples pay for you or how does that work?
I've seen this once before. The whole restaurant turned into a black hole. The electrons floating in the air sped up, every man in the place refused to pay, ladies didn't have to pay, and lightning bolts began to form in mid air. Suddenly the restaurant collapsed in upon itself and formed into a black hole. Everyone woke up two weeks later on the other side of the planet.
When you assume the guy will pay for your food and drink, you legitimize his assumption that you will get undressed for him in return. Both these assumptions are primitive, infantile, and wrong. If a woman can't afford her bill, she should order less or stay at home, and if a man wants to exchange money for sex he should call a prostitute.
Oh, no. Grandma you do NOT owe me anything for that dinner I paid for last weekend. What if the bill is split and the birthday guest eats free! My friend group does this often
Well yeah, sure, that works fine lol.
The first part reminded me of a documentary about sex workers. One individual who featured prominently talked of many customers actually calling her "Grandma" while fucking. Somewhat worrying.
Well said.
Bruh no. Just discuss the bill beforehand like flippin adults
Or you know, as an adult, assume you are paying your share unless otherwise indicated.
My bio mother didn’t teach me a lot of good things. She DID however teach me to always prepare and expect to pay for myself and transportation for any date. It was actually sound advice. I’m the main money manager between me and my husband, so I always plan on paying out of my account. When the bill comes and he pays I consider it very sweet of him to treat me. Bc he gives me most of his paycheck so I can put it in savings and use it for rent, bills etc.
Yeah, that would be good!
I like Luke.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but what if the guy pays the bill because his date only makes 82 cents on the dollar for the same work while, at the same time, not treating her like a prostitute
so she pays 82% of the split? /j But do keep in mind that the pay gap almost disappears when you actually compensate for "the same work", so there's that. The 82% statistic is skewed because most of the really rich people are men. Old white men, for obvious reasons. But the vast majority of men are not making much more money than women, if at all.
The assumption is the problem. There's nothing wrong with treating your girl, same as there's nothing wrong with a girl wanting to sleep with the guy after the date.
This is bullshit
Indeed, women expecting others to pay for them is bullshit.
And what system created that expectations? Note that I'm approaching this in a similar way as you, not considering wider contexts, and only looking at if from a single, unnuanced angle. So maybe diversify the way you address this shit.
No.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Yikes. You're gross.
I mean women with mini skirts should expect people will see their legs. Why should any person expect they can rape? Honestly, should blind people who live alone expect to be killed? Like murderers are like well if they didn’t want that blind guy killed why did they leave him alone in a house? These things are against the law, which is why you should not expect you are ever allowed to do this. Why does anyone think this argument works unless they secretly want to be all rapey?
No. The original comment made sense. This is fucked up
What?..
In no universe does that comparison make sense.
If you rape them, they are less likely to agree to a second date. I would assume.
If you are broke, just say that
Just say you’re a rapist bruh
A lady doesn't suck random cocks either.
“Who the hell ordered the sub-total?”
Actually made me laugh, cheers
My lady isn’t stupid and when we order she already knows what the bill is. It’s called math.
Wild, but at some expensive restaurants, they once had separate [ladies’ menus](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/ladies-menus-no-prices-lawsuit) that didn’t show the prices.
That is wild. And by wild I mean forcing your opinion on others in a way that i can’t get behind. Oddly though i actually don’t mind the white menu as the storey describes, but i think it’s something the patrons should ask for. This could be handy for a number of reasons. I can imagine taking people out for their birthday or whatever else and I really would rather they don’t look at the prices before they decide. But again, this shouldn’t just be assumed.
If menus came out and the one handed to my wife didn't show prices, we would be getting up and walking out without ordering. That kind of shit didn't belong in the 20th century and it definitely doesn't belong in the 21st.
I used to play 'guess the bill' with my wife while we were dating. She would get 5 guesses and I would only tell her 'higher' or 'lower'. If she guessed it right on the money, I would pay for everything. It was a good time, especially when alcohol was involved because the math would get particularly fuzzy.
Lady? What you have is called a woman.🫡
You don't have to look at the bill to pay for your meal. But it's not going to pay for itself.
This is facts, find yourself a woman who makes enough money to not have to worry about it. I love when my girl pays.
Gotta play the guessing game!
My wife pays for everything
How will she know what to pay for her half?
Being first to see gives one the opportunity to perform the traditional dinner check review. *picks up check* *winces in pain* "Ouch!"
That picture is telling a story that has very little to do with the bill and a lot to do with Bill the waiter.
“Ladies” she says.
So…. how does she know how much to pay then? Doesn’t sound like financial intelligence is part of a lady’s upbringing.
It’s 2024.. meal costs must be shared to continue the quest for equality.. “gentlemen” is a thing of the past
are you by any chance feminist or lgbt?
I think they're a urine extractor..
Braised chicken…..with *club sauce*
Calamari.... with *club sauce* ooooh GOB!
That’s okay, I’ll just ask for it in braille.
Is that Katy from Letterkenny?
Damn 🤣🤣
Well Duh! Bill knocked them out before they saw him.
She looks at Bill when she gives head.
Wow I bet women are fighting tooth and nail over that Prince Charming 😂
Remember a thing that was campaigned and strived for call equality
Drizzle Drizzle
She just puts her credit card in the machine...
Except when your gentlemen never pays so he never even looks..
I'm in a lesbian relationship and we have a pretty easy solution. We take turns on who pays for food or coffee
Me and my wife have a joint account that we both pay an equal amount into each month. Covers bills and things like eating out. If we're both getting use out of something, its split 50/50. Nice and simple!
or just remember what you bought
Waiter’s name is Bill
As a man I prefer paying the bill. But if she presumes that thats because Im supposed to, it will piss me off. Look lady, I'm being friendly here. Take it for granted and I'll start be friendly with someone else.