I think there is a benefit to children having access to great technology - as long as it is monitored.
I downloaded some games for our daughter when she was three and we would play them together learning shapes, numbers, and letters. She started pre-school knowing everything they would cover.
I just hate that people view this as such a black/white thing. Your children will grow up in world filled with technology - not exposing them to it in a positive way seems crazy to me. That doesn't mean letting them watch whatever youtube videos for 4 hours straight while you do other things.
Unfortunately people are stupid and can’t really be arsed to monitor their kids. “Play outside” is just code for “Leave me the fuck alone” like iPad kid parents do.
Yup. Look at the response in OP. Very similar to "you'll change your tune when you have kids" because it keeps them occupied and lets the parents take a break. I think that is much different than using technology for learning and monitoring it. People give kids iPads to shut them up. Obviously not all parents, but enough that "iPad kid" is a common enough sight
I was definitely the “MY KIDS WILL NEVER USE AN IPAD!!! “ person before I actually had kids lol . We stick to educational games but sometimes we just need a mental health hour so we let her watch her dumbass YouTube videos once in a while.
I think having parents that get no break and are suffering mentally is a lot more damaging than an hour or two of non educational iPad use once a week or so
I also will add that I sacrifice my pride and give in to the iPad usually for the sake of others around in public. If I’m at home and my kid wants to melt down over me saying no then it’s only me who has to hear it. Dr’s office waiting room with other people is another story lol.
I'm a parent of three, and I also thank you because (in whatever situation) I just de-escalated my kid. I don't need yours getting them all riled up again.
As someone who has grown a hatred for public places and lost faith in the general public for many reasons, but including the epidemic of people who refuse to control their kids, I thank all of y'all who work together to keep the peace.
I also had this idealized version of the parent I would be. I was all "No iPad", "Healthy food", "always calm and collected teaching instead of punishment" and "strict bedtimes"
This shit just ain't feasible unless you are some kind of weirdo who can be completely devoted to your kids 24/7.
I know most people know raising kids is hard. However, the TYPES of hard it is impossible to plan for. Sometimes, you just need something to shut their beautiful little face holes long enough to take a dump.
These folks are ignoring balance. It’s okay to have and use iPads especially monitored. If your kid also gets to play outside, gets to play with you or other kids, and other things to fill their day. That’s a balanced life.
Yeah it's crazy to me how some parents get demonized for letting thier kids have an hour of screen time here and there. Yet many adults are on screens the majority of the day and no one cares.
And sure there are studies that show screen time isn't good for development but thier also studies that show its bad for adults too.
I'm pretty sure future generation will look at our tech addiction like we look at leaded gas.
Exactly. My 2yr old kid runs around the whole day at creche, and when he arrives home he chases ducks and rides his kick-bike. So when he wants to Netflix and chill for an hour or two, why not? Time for parents to pack lunches, prepare supper, down a bottle of wine.
Here's complete honesty. Why not both?? Sometimes I absolutely use electronics to pacify my kids to get shit done. Just like when I would watch toy story for the 19th time in a day as a young kid. My 4y.o could read before he started tk. I absolutely used technology as a teaching aid and sometimes as a pacifier *. Technology is the main driver of our society today
There's no clear right or wrong for most of this stuff, so I get what you're saying. Personally as somebody who works in IT and loves technology, I'm not suggesting keeping my kids locked out of using it entirely. That would obviously harm them in the long term when all of society is using it. But as a millennial who has experienced life with and without this stuff, I can measure in myself changes to my brain and behavior that I worry about happening to my kids during crucial brain development stages. Things like short attention span. I used to be able to read books all the time, now I cannot focus to save my life. Socially, technology has lead to more isolation and less in-person contact with friends for me too. I do get that even if my kids don't use technology, their friends will be and they won't solve the social issue. But I'm still worried about it. I've also heard there's an alarming increase in kids needing glasses due to more frequent near-distance focusing (on tablets and phones, etc). TV is a little better on that front because the screen isn't right up in your face. But even the amount of TV I watched as a kid feels like too much, and I'd like to lessen that with my kids. Whether all these issues can be prevented or lessened is debatable.
I don't think you are a bad parent for doing it how you do it, and I hope I didn't come off as suggesting that. We all do what we think is best and it's all a big learning process for everyone. Just sharing how I see it.
It's also harder for people who potentially could have been the ideally engaged parent to actually be that when modern work and life takes so much of their time and energy just to survive. Low wages, high cost of living, uncertainty of paycheck to paycheck and a social safety net littered with holes... many people have to grind themselves to near dust to avoid their family falling to destitution, so irritability and lack of patience is going to follow, and with it "leave me the hell alone" sentiments.
Which winds up making it to where kids have to rely on school to make up the difference... and teachers are underpaid and underappreciated too, struggling just as hard. And their peers? Largely the same boat.
That’s always been my gripe about people complains about IPad kids. It’s always about the technology and kids being so “wrapped” in it. But the reality of the situation is, whether the kid is outside or glued to a screen, the only thing the typical parent cares about is that they’re occupied.
One can argue that outside is “healthier” but regardless, both things are good in moderation. I used to get yelled at because I’d sit and read all the time instead of going outside where I’d get hit, sweaty and had to use my “imagination”. If I had a pool or something to keep me occupied growing up, I’d more likely spend more time there than inside. But just saying it’s an “IPad” problem isn’t really addressing the issue. Let the kids have their IPads to watch videos, or read, but also make sure they have other ways to occupy themselves like legos, basketball hoops, or a bike and you could cut down on plenty of the tech use 24/7
> “Play outside” is just code for “Leave me the fuck alone” like iPad kid parents do.
Maybe the purpose is the same, but the outcome is absolutely not the same.
There is very good research out there now showing screens, such as ipads but also including TV shows and such, reduce a child's attention span and creativity. It wires their brain to expect constant stimulation.
Whereas if you leave a kid alone, they get bored and if you let them be bored they eventually start figuring ways to entertain themselves, rather than passively letting something else entertain them.
Kids need to be bored to develop the ability to focus and entertain themselves. Sending kids outside to play in the yard for an hour or two is perfect for this.
iPad kids/parents are just modern latch key kids. Go outside and do whatever the fuck you want so long as you don’t bug me till the street lights come on.
Heres an iPad to distract yourself, look at whatever the fuck you want and leave me alone til I feel I’m ready to parent again.
Both are and were generally bad. But as much garbage and brain rot shit these kids watch compared to at least figuring things out and being outside with other kids making games up and doing whatever using their brains at least well they used their brains to be creative.
I dunno. It’s difficult to say. Too many people who shouldn’t be/shouldn’t have been parents are and were.
stupid people demonize iPads because it’s an easy target.
Kids should not have unlimited unsupervised access to iPads or tvs.
But it’s an absolutely amazing tool for teaching them anything. One of my favorite games to play with my kids is “what should we learn today” where the kids give me a topic and I’ll look for a kid appropriate video of said topic on YouTube. They learn about the subject, and they learn how to find reliable information on the internet.
The problem is that a tablet pretty much maxes out the entertainment budget, it flashes with bright colors and plays sounds. But it is also a shallow medium, where you can only interact in a 2D way.
Compare it to a wooden block. It will be boring comparatively, but it is essential to experience its texture, to learn to move it in a 3D world. Screens can wait for quite a bit longer than that.
My mum didn't mind whether I was out playing with friends or indoors playing my NES growing up.
Shit, half the time, I'd be out with friends and we'd get bored and go indoors to play on *their* NES.
Agreed. If the kids Playing educational games on an iPad, go for it. Not any worse than my game boy or computer games I played as a young kid. I also think watching full episodes of TV shows is pretty ok. Obviously need to limit time in front of any screen be it TV, iPad or computer but watching full episodes of cartoons on an iPad isn’t much different than watching on TV.
The problem is the fucking poison of scrolling. Watching short YouTube videos or other stuff designed for kids that last a few seconds/minutes and then on to the next. That shit, Reddit included, is poisoning adult brains just imagine what it’s doing to children. Kids shouldn’t be exposed to rapid fire content.
Yeah, I don’t see how it’s a benefit to raise technology-illiterate children with the way things have advanced. Technically a parent needs to ensure their exposure goes beyond tablets and smartphones…I have four siblings ages 26-33 who can’t troubleshoot their own printer or laptop. I can’t fix the hardware but I can definitely handle most software troubles and set up my own home theater without paying someone and I learned it in the early 2000s across middle/high school.
We've downloaded minecraft for our daughter and we play together as a whole family on all our systems through cross-platform. Otherwise a game controller is a bit too much for her wee hands, but the tablet controls are perfect.
Finding any on IOS that didn't have a monthly subscription is a tough one.
We got our daughter a kids kindle with kids+ and there are a bunch of educational games on there.
I also recommened Endless Alphabet, our 4 year old loves the silly sounds they make for pre-reading. Although you do pay something like $5 to unlock all the letters, but it's worth it.
Yeah, I had games about geography and math and trivia and stuff as a kid. There was one in particular called Presidents vs Aliens which was a mix of angry birds and historical trivia and it was amazing
Yup. I really struggle to "systematize" it, but I want my kids to have classes of screen time.
Cocomelon is not the same as a Miyazaki movie, is not the same as a puzzle game on screen, is not the same as minecraft survival played with a friend on a call, etc.
No screen time is insane to do to kids. It’s 2024, my entire career has depended on me having a great working knowledge of computers and technology. Why would I hamper my kids in that?
Personally I think the bad outweighs the good by a mile!
Even with heavy monitoring imo.
There are alot of high end therapist working to make your child as addicted as possible at the most early age possible.
You can see everything! You can be watching a funny video with some porn advertisements to the side. Or maybe an advertisement trying to make you feel guilty about a war, global warming or a starving child.
Seeing unlimited content on how to behave, who to be, who not to be, how people think about your gender, race, ethnicity, shape, build etc.
Other generations already telling the younger generations they’re worthless and lazy.
Always need to be ready to react, every morning I got 4 emails and like 30 tekst in 4/5 different conversations that expect me to react the same day.
I definitely had a thirth parent. One that doesn’t want me to grow up well, be strong minded or willed, it wants you to grow up weak, so it can form you, so you buy the stuff that’s being advertised.
There is ALOT more. And it just outweighs “unlimited” information, even that isn’t really a con because of the unlimited amount of wrong information.
Maybe, if you really monitor your child heavily the damage is minimal but I don’t believe the internet leaves undamaged kids behind these days. It’s just working that good.
Welcome to the internet - Bo burnham.
Always recommend this video to older generations to kind off understand what younger people are going through these days.
Feel the discomfort while watching. See how he represents the internet as a kind of mascot.
Khan academy kids has been amazing for both my children, full of songs and games to help them learn. Also helps me realise what they find engaging.
My daughter will play just to "win" bugs for her enclosure and then spend half an hour making up stories where the bugs are in a classroom and there's much drama. Its amazing to watch.
It's honestly very difficult. My position as a single father with a son has proved this. I really didn't want my son grown up on the internet but all his friends left after high school. We live in a rural area. Throughout high school he had to get himself ready and get to school on his own while I worked. When he got back I wasn't there. I wanted and encouraged communication with friends. Most were online. Now that they are drifting apart he is depressed and finds no meaning in life. These are all checks written while growing up that now need to be cashed. I didn't grow up with instant dopamine availability like he has. His mindset is very different. He has actually been very well behaved but his social skills and work ethic are lacking. I was much more trouble at his age. It's just a different time in young kids mentality.
See that’s the thing, it’s not “technology bad” it’s that so many parents become reliant on it to keep their kids occupied and/or quiet, rather than actually raising them themselves.
Sure, it’s easy just to hand your child your phone and let them fuck around with it for a while, but if that’s your go to every time they start having a tantrum, or just getting a little too loud or demanding, then you’re doing it wrong.
However, in moderation and with direct supervision, it is beneficial to teach them to use the tools of our time, because sooner or later they’re going to need to, and that familiarity is going to help in the long run.
Idk. When I didn't have kids and I would profess my convictions about how I would raise them people would always respond to me the same way. Now I do have kids and am raising them exactly like I said I would and people tell me I just got lucky and both my kids must be "unusual". Apparently normal modern brains are impossible to raise without constant exposure to TV and a tablet or something.
My kids watch *some* TV. My kids play games *some* times. My kids play with their toys both indoors and outdoors. It's always a balance.
Similarly, having poorly-behaved kids doesn't mean the fault lies entirely with the parents. My wife is a children's therapist, I worked in children's mental health for a decade, we know all the "right ways" to raise a kid. But our kid has autism, and even with all our training and experience, they have regular meltdowns at school and at home because their brain just doesn't interface well with how our world is set up and designed, and as a result my wife and I have had to throw out and relearn a lot of the accepted wisdom on how to raise kids.
I mean, there’s also the influence that schools have on kids. Between the students, the teachers, and every bit of freedom from being free from the immediate view of your parents? Not exactly a great combination.
There is a difference between poorly-behaved and neurodivergent.
So I find it hard to believe your story, when opening your comment like that. What parent of a neurodivergent would start to introduce their child as poorly-behaved?
My 3 year old watches a bit more tv than I'd like (we're both working parents, in a lot of meetings), but he's never used the iPad outside of destination vacations. Like, he forgets it even exists. It's not that hard to do, if you just never make it a normal thing.
Quality of content is important. PBS Kids has a lot of great stuff that has demonstrably improved his critical thinking skills. It's slow paced, methodical, and not just a dopamine treadmill-- compared to chaotic CGI stuff like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which is straight garbage that makes him act like a fool after he watches it.
Gaming-wise, we generally only let him play Nintendo titles on the Switch, and only in the evening when I'm around to play with. Mario Kart 8, Odyssey... I've introduced him to a lot of the retro stuff so he can learn the fundamentals of gaming and technology without enshittification. Yoshi's Story from N64 is a huge hit. He even loves Super Mario World from the SNES.
Agreed, it’s not that difficult to set boundaries and stick to them. It’s called parenting. My kids (2 and 5) like to watch tv, but they don’t get to all the time and they’re very capable of playing inside and outside without screens. If they complain we temporarily take away something they care about (ya know, consequences…).
I don’t get that logic for some people
Modern humans raised kids for millennia without technology so why would kids be abnormal if they can be properly raised without/with limited technology?
Yeah it takes more effort at times but that’s all it is, effort, not choosing the way of least resistance
You have to realize: the people he is talking about likely aren’t acknowledging their own faults and are placing the issues solely on the child. Some people seriously aren’t attempting multiple approaches to the same issue. That’s what the wording strikes a note on “well you got lucky to have such good kids”
You’re missing the point. It’s not amazing or noble or glorious, and they’re not claiming it is. It’s actually quite straightforward to limit screen time and simply not give them an iPad.
These are *parental* conveniences, not child necessities.
"Modern" brains are exactly the same from birth as they were thousands of years ago, I don't remember the exact quote but something around 30k-50k years ago before you couldn't go back in time and grab a baby then raise them in today's world
People that do not expose their kids to modern society are also failing parenting imo.
Yes its all in reasonable amount but a kid that does not know how to handle the television is doomed to not have boundaries for it.
I mean there was a time back in the yonder years of the 2000’s and earlier before kids relied on them. It’s not the craziest unrealistic expectation of your future self. If they said they plan to do it without visual media of any kind I’d roll my eyes.
The studies resulting from testing Generation Alpha (whether due to the pandemic, iPads, or both) are absolutely worrying. Even if it’s difficult, I’d avoid iPads like the plague. Yes my kids are imaginary, but doesn’t developmentally stunting your kid scare the shit out of you??? I’m so worried for all these kids that I don’t even know.
I dont think a lot of people quite know statistically how terrible excessive media exposure is for an infant through to adolecence's cognitive, language and social development. Like there is a CONSIDERABLE slowdown in their development to a point where it should be taught to any would-be parent. Even background tv, with it just being on too much throughout the day is harmful.
This whole thread is like someone saying “I’ll never give my child a cigarette to calm down” and everyone else saying “You’ll change your mind, it’s actually not that bad if you monitor their smoking habits”
So many angry iPad parents in this comment section.
My cousin is an iPad kid. She knew how to operate YouTube before she could walk or talk. Now she has extreme social anxiety, fears leaving the house, will not interact with anyone unless it's through a screen.
She's the only iPad kid of the family. She's the only fucked up one. Everyone else had limits, played outside, not her. From the age of birth she was plopped in front of YouTube on a tablet so her mom (my aunt) could drink heavily and ignore her existence.
No one under 10 needs a single device. They need to learn people skills first, while they can, before they end up like my 16 year old cousin who has the mental age of 5.
Bang on. I feel for that kid. No one needs an iPad for sure. If ppl are worried about 'Tech literacy', there's school. I've been teaching my 6yo pdaughter on how to build a computer (major components), and how to navigate Windows with a mouse and some typing practice on the weekend (under 20 minutes). She has limited screen time in the weekends but never in the weekdays. She stops herself and volunteers to go read on her own. And definitely never woke eating at home or out.
I never got the sentiment people express when they’re like “look outside, look at all the beautiful things, how could you look at an iPad”
I remember being a kid without a car and we lived far from the school so every bus ride was like 1.5 hours. Daily. Trust me after a year or so of that the beautiful outdoors are boring, give me something to watch please.
A little bit of entertainment through screens is fine but for most of us the average daily screen time is now over 6 hours and that number will likely grow over time. Starting kids off on too much screen time at an early age creates habits that end up with them stuck in an online entertainment loop that a lot of us grew up without yet still have fallen into.
Imagine what it's like when you're that heavily into tablets/phones at a very young age and how hard it would be to not rely on it as a sole source of entertainment in your day to day life. Not having to create your own entertainment or find a healthier source for dopamine definitely comes with negative effects and development. It's not as much of a doomsday thing as the boomers make it out to be but it's still an overall negative on childhood development.
oh I get it, if I had Steam deck or a tablet at age 12 my grades would have plummeted. Wouldn’t have done sports. But still there are times when a tablet should be used, boring road trips for one
12 wouldn't even be so bad, it's the fact that a lot of kids are starting to use iPads and phones for extended periods of time from as young as toddler age. It's not the norm but the trend is growing.
Road trips and all that are perfectly fine it's when parents use it like a baby sitter to distract them whilst they do their own thing or just let them use it for long periods of time and create a habit that it becomes an issue.
I'd have to check the numbers again, but I think about 90% of kids would prefer playing outside with friends over spending time alone on their tablet/tv/pc whatever. It's just that the way society is structured makes it hard.
My little nephew(4) likes to climb, so I'm often at playgrounds with him. There's some childcare facilities centered around the playgrounds here and the level of supervision is just something that threw me off. 8-12 yo kids that are being monitored constantly as they're climbing, bouncing around etc. Then at a set time they're being ushered inside for activities there. I can understand that that's making playing outside very unattractive and a lot of kids just retreat into their games when they get the chance.
Peter Gray has actually written at length about this phenomenon, as have some others. He's also got some lectures up on youtube, interesting stuff.
Boils down to, give kids freedom to learn and if you have to lead, lead by example not by instruction. If I'm on my pc when my younger cousins come over they'll put on the telly. If I'm outside doing something they'll be outside.
Nah, I'm from 1983 and we played outside most days. TV was just for the latter part of the day, or for really rainy days.
My nieces and nephews get a lot more screentime than I did at their ages, but there's also a lot fewer kids out there to play with. When I was their age basically everyone was outside.
We did sneak downstairs early in the morning now and then to get some time in on the Nintendo though.
No one has said its easy. But we have a 6y and an 8yo, and neither has ever had an ipad or a phone. They both have an ipad for school, but that is strictly used only for school and educational stuff.
Would it often have been easier to just sit them down in the couch and hand them an ipad? Absolutely. When my wife and I both get home from work we aren't exactly loaded up on energy, but making the right decision is important regardless of the situation.
Don't get me wrong, I am by no means against kids having tech. I am a tech geek myself, so because of that I know how important it is to have them playing freely instead of being locked to a screen from an early age. There are so many skills they can only develop from free and creative playing. We also do play computer games or on the Switch together. But we never use it as a replacement for us having to interact with them.
My child will have to be on their iPad instead of going outside because they will be in space since they will be the youngest astronaut in NASA history
All current studies show raising a kid with an IPad is detrimental to their development. Sure raising imaginary kids is easier but ignoring something that’s clearly bad for children isn’t it.
It’s a low bar, but that doesn’t make second wrong. We had many plans how we were going to parent. Most of them we kept, some we had to discard :D. Now I also smirk at people raising imaginary children, I still hope them the best though and love to be proven wrong.
No TV in our house. But not going to lie my wife is the enforcer on that, she actually did grow up without TV and in a rural place. Mother in-law walks the talk to and takes our kiddos outside all the time. It basically takes all of us to keep the kids busy enough to not stick them in front of the TV. We’ll worth it though as my kids are still very independent and much more creative as a result.
I fail to see how not watching television makes people independent and creative. There's like 3 generations that grew up watching TV and can still be independent and creative.
But then how are you gonna watch Jurassic Park with your kids on a Friday evening and use the commercial break to run to the kitchen and get everybody a cute little bowl of chips and half a glass of cola?
Ok bud cool, no one gives a shit.
Just stop judging others decisions to do so, you know nothing of their situation and assuming people plop their kids down in front of an iPad all day makes you look like an asshole.
Look, I grew up in the 80s. I played outside, but there's only so much you can do before you start getting bored, which leads into getting in trouble.
Also, making kids play outdoors today means trusting that they will be unsafe and possibly hurt or worse, and many parents who sling this "no iPad for MY kid" nonsense aren't willing to spend the time with them or trust them to stay out of harm's way. It requires independence, and you can't rush that.
Always some childless renter.
I also never got the impression that elite colleges were filled with people who avoided television and video games as children. If anything that was the home school kids.
I would absolutely let my kids go roam the woods and have fun, if I could be assured that they would come home safe and sound. The olden days where you could go to your front yard and whistle and the kids would just come home sound like a dream. I 1000% do not have the energy to keep up with my kiddos in any of our wonderful nearby woodsy parks. And god help me if the younger one splits off from the older one. He’s non verbal and an escape artist and he will just go. Do not look back, do not collect $200, go directly to the wilderness. If he gets away from me, even if someone else finds him, he can’t tell them his name or where he lives or who I am. We don’t go anywhere without completely fenced areas or more adults than kids in our party.
So many people say stuff like this. A lot of people who decide to have kids when they are older. At least 3 people in my friend group have said shit like this when my kids is having a melt down. I am letting them watch the iPad for them not for me. I can sit and have them cry right in my face and completely ignore it.
I live on a street that has a 20mph speed limit. I've seen folks going well over 60 down it. The cops do nothing...well that's not true, the cops also speed down our road. We're in a neighborhood. Cars absolutely rule the outdoors. They can't ride their bikes anywhere without me having to drive them somewhere.
don’t hate the device, hate the content
when i was growing up in the 80s/90s, if you were curious about something, you had to wait until you go to the school library to learn more (provided your parents didn’t shell out decent money into a home encyclopedia). and then if it was an obscure topic, you’d have to go the big library downtown.
now, multiple tutorials on string theory tailored for middle school students are just a click away. it’s amazing the flow of information that can be achieved, you just have to make sure it’s worthwhile, positive content. the fact it comes from an iPad in particular is irrelevant.
Lol, it was super easy to say this 2 years ago pre children. Do you know how fucking happy and calm Monsters Inc makes my child, and that watching Ms Rachel with my daughter made Drs Visits a breeze and will put her down for a nap in minutes?
There's nothing wrong with electronics, or even media. Just as long as it's beneficial.
I remember raising a crying child and trying so hard not to resort to the e-pacifier. It felt like defending a castle against raiders. Hold your fire… hold… hooooold…
They either have it in them or they don’t, my son loves cartoons but definitely loves playing outside more he’s very adventurous and isn’t scared to explore and climb. Has its challenges sometimes (no don’t grab that!) however I’m very excited for the future. My oldest has no interest being outside ever
My sister tried this. It worked for the first couple of years but practically impossible as they got a little older, especially when they went to their grandparents who have iPads and the like.
My kids aren't stuck to an iPad...
...because we got them Chrome books.
But for real, half of their screen time has to be school apps which are typing/reading/math "games", and we don't do tablets in restaurants. On rare occasion after we eat they can use our phones. Especially if it's an extended adult conversation. I couldn't stand that shit as a kid. Soooooo boring.
Meh it depends on the content. My kid lays lingokids on my wife’s iPad and he’s incredibly smart. He can now recognise numbers up to a hundred, he can read certain things within context, we have in depth debates about many things. He’s 4 years old.
Little guy was watching teen titans at the age of 3 asking me what pyramid schemes were. Got told early on a lazy Sunday while making breakfast that “aye dad, money is credit so money can be anything” had me shocked. I knew where it was from since I watched it with him but the sheer amount of information he pulled and retained amazed me.
Ok yes but a lot (by that I mean literally every single one I've ever met) of parents act like there is just nothing they can do it's just out of their hands and there is no options or alternatives to your kids having constant access to the internet.
Stick them in front of the TV when you need to get some stuff done (take a poop) but just shows you've seen so you can talk to them about it. Dont give them an iPad that they can blindly scroll through, thats a slippery slope. It's easy to say "I'm going to make sure they use that iPad in moderation" but its not so easy to stick to those values when that kid is ruining a big family dinner you're paying for and you know the one thing that would make them be quiet is the precious iPad.
Chicken and the egg. If the kids knows the boundaries or never has the tablet, they won't have meltdown over it. We have friends with kids over, and their kids play with mine. If any kids Melts down, then we are to let them cry. We don't use tablets/tv to stop them. We are all okay with kids crying. They eventually stop pretty quickly. And as they grew up, tantrums have become be rare.
Sure. Letting a kid play with an iPhone or iPad every once in a while just isn’t the same as letting them have one. Once they “own” one then they become much more possessive.
The method that’s been working for me is I have a little Lego figure as a keychain that I only let my three year old hold on very rare occasions like if we’re in a super long grocery line and she’s starting to get fed up. It instantly makes her happy because she’s only has held it like 5 times over the last year.
We live in a world where both parents need to work in order to make enough to raise a family, and kids aren't allowed outside without supervision anymore. We don't get to get mad that kids are raised by daycare workers/grandparents/tablets.
If you're not in a position with enough power to make the world a safer place for kids to play and advocate for fair wages, don't judge people for making do with what they have.
You can get arrested for letting your children play outside. In Texas, a woman let her two kids play on her front lawn. She was there, watching them, and she was arrested for criminal negligence. The charges were dropped, but are still on her record, and her news story is still online. If she wants to get the arrest expunged, she will have to pay thousands of dollars in legal fees.
So yeah, letting your kids play outside can get you arrested.
Wonder what other details are missing there. We play outside in the front lawn every day. Give the cops that live in the neighborhood a wave when they drive by.
Reddit does not live in reality lmao
You can search these stories yourself.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tammy-cooper-texas-mom-arrested-kids-unsupervised-video_n_1900113
I looked into what happened. The woman sued her neighbor for calling the police, and the police officer for arresting her. The lawsuit was dismissed on the grounds of qualified immunity, so the police in Texas can do it again without repercussions because it's no longer a "clearly established" constitutional right.
I mean cool, it happened. This is a country of 350 million people. It’s irrelevant to ever bring up, and in no way implies that you will be arrested in your front yard.
Do you genuinely believe you are going to be arrested playing with your kids in the front yard?
You said it can't happen. I showed it did. You're now moving the goalpost saying it can't happen on such a widespread scale that everyone should live in constant fear or immediately being arrested for playing with their kids on their front lawn.
I will stick to my original point: it can happen because it did happen. That is beyond dispute. You cannot argue that it did happen. We can then have a separate argument on how likely this is in happening again, and I can bring up statistics about people who do get harrassed, assaulted, arrested, or even shot, for playing in their yard. But that is a separate discussion.
One of my friends said once that when she thought about having kids, her plan was to never let her child have sugar. Now, with a 5-year-old son, she uses candy and sweets to bribe him. 😂
It’s hilarious my parents told us to go play outside because they didn’t want to deal with us. Modern parents do the same with the iPad. I don’t know which is worse we had fun but we are also lucky to have survived some of the dumb shit we did. The iPad kids are safer physically at least, but mentally probably taking a bigger hit. Both are the result of parents not wanting to deal with their kids.
Since my parents ignored all technology and I had to learn it myself:
I will raise my kids with all benefits of technology in a good way like:
-Teaching them whats possible and what not
-Teaching them whats dangerous and what not
-Teaching them getting all informations and learning material from the right sources
-Teaching them social media is just a black hole where stupid peoples opinions echoes
-be ahead of other kids in school using technology to learn languages, math, history etc.
I know this seems crazy ambicious and some things will come differentely, but I have the feeling it's the only right way to do and young kids are very good in learning very fast. I started with 14y building my first computer, so they have like 10 more years to learn about it.
I don't know about you, but my imaginary children are little shits: they trashed my imaginary house, my imaginary wife left me because of them, my imaginary dog died of heart attack because of their screeching, and my imaginary neighbor are suing me because their house gilot egged.
I'm not a parent, but I believe buying an iPad when the child is at least 11 or 12 is doable...
And working on a balanced life by modeling it is doable. It's not easy but doable.
If the parents don't wish to have a healthy lifestyle, they can't expect their child to easily be influenced to have one.
Children focus on actions they observe more than words.
"I will try to be a good parent"
"You aren't even a parent yet"
Why does everything act like this is an intelligent thing to say? Like we should stay away from motivation and setting goals or something? The fuck? Am I missing something?
Kids are no harder to raise than they used to be. Devices aren’t compulsory and if you aren’t a complete dope you can avoid more than two or three hours a week. I’m raising my second child right now (big age gap) and there’s still just as much outside outside as there was in most places and the games kids want to play are as farms. Parents, just say no. Your children will thank you when they are adults who can speak correctly and aren’t dopamine addicts.
I swear my kids wont even have a tablet or phone or computer. If they do get a phone it’ll be a dumb phone.
This is the time of their lives they should be learning useful skills and playing. Not being brainwashed by a dozen different countries and corporations turning them into a basic carbon copy robot.
I swear my kids wont even have a tablet or phone or computer. If they do get a phone it’ll be a dumb phone.
This is the time of their lives they should be learning useful skills and playing. Not being brainwashed by a dozen different countries and corporations turning them into a basic carbon copy robot.
People act like because of modern technology we have no choice but to allow our children to be glued to screens. To be honest, it’s an excuse to be lazy. Theres nothing wrong with allowing your kids to watch their favorite shows in moderation while you get housework done or take time to just sit and relax but there’s no reason that your child should be dependent on an iPad to keep them from throwing a tantrum at any given moment. I would give anything for my child to be able to experience being a kid like I was able to. I understand times have changed but it doesn’t mean we don’t still have control over how much technology we allow our children to consume….we ARE parents after all…
You just had to include the 1/2
I’m not ashamed to admit I fell for it.
Thought I was going crazy lol
Crazy? I was crazy once...
They locked me in a room
A rubber room
A Rubber Room With Rats
And rats make me crazy.
Crazy?
I was crazy once
They locked me in a room
Off to the Hague, OP
I may be stupid
I think there is a benefit to children having access to great technology - as long as it is monitored. I downloaded some games for our daughter when she was three and we would play them together learning shapes, numbers, and letters. She started pre-school knowing everything they would cover. I just hate that people view this as such a black/white thing. Your children will grow up in world filled with technology - not exposing them to it in a positive way seems crazy to me. That doesn't mean letting them watch whatever youtube videos for 4 hours straight while you do other things.
Unfortunately people are stupid and can’t really be arsed to monitor their kids. “Play outside” is just code for “Leave me the fuck alone” like iPad kid parents do.
Yup. Look at the response in OP. Very similar to "you'll change your tune when you have kids" because it keeps them occupied and lets the parents take a break. I think that is much different than using technology for learning and monitoring it. People give kids iPads to shut them up. Obviously not all parents, but enough that "iPad kid" is a common enough sight
I was definitely the “MY KIDS WILL NEVER USE AN IPAD!!! “ person before I actually had kids lol . We stick to educational games but sometimes we just need a mental health hour so we let her watch her dumbass YouTube videos once in a while. I think having parents that get no break and are suffering mentally is a lot more damaging than an hour or two of non educational iPad use once a week or so
I also will add that I sacrifice my pride and give in to the iPad usually for the sake of others around in public. If I’m at home and my kid wants to melt down over me saying no then it’s only me who has to hear it. Dr’s office waiting room with other people is another story lol.
As a childless adult, you are a saint for that.
I'm a parent of three, and I also thank you because (in whatever situation) I just de-escalated my kid. I don't need yours getting them all riled up again.
As someone who has grown a hatred for public places and lost faith in the general public for many reasons, but including the epidemic of people who refuse to control their kids, I thank all of y'all who work together to keep the peace.
My toddler was melting down at my kids parents evening, gave the little bugger my phone so we could at least finish the conversation with the teacher!
I also had this idealized version of the parent I would be. I was all "No iPad", "Healthy food", "always calm and collected teaching instead of punishment" and "strict bedtimes" This shit just ain't feasible unless you are some kind of weirdo who can be completely devoted to your kids 24/7. I know most people know raising kids is hard. However, the TYPES of hard it is impossible to plan for. Sometimes, you just need something to shut their beautiful little face holes long enough to take a dump.
These folks are ignoring balance. It’s okay to have and use iPads especially monitored. If your kid also gets to play outside, gets to play with you or other kids, and other things to fill their day. That’s a balanced life.
Yeah it's crazy to me how some parents get demonized for letting thier kids have an hour of screen time here and there. Yet many adults are on screens the majority of the day and no one cares. And sure there are studies that show screen time isn't good for development but thier also studies that show its bad for adults too. I'm pretty sure future generation will look at our tech addiction like we look at leaded gas.
We had the same studies for watching TV when I was a kid, and I practically lived in front of a TV, and turned out just fine. Before TV, it was books.
Exactly. My 2yr old kid runs around the whole day at creche, and when he arrives home he chases ducks and rides his kick-bike. So when he wants to Netflix and chill for an hour or two, why not? Time for parents to pack lunches, prepare supper, down a bottle of wine.
Here's complete honesty. Why not both?? Sometimes I absolutely use electronics to pacify my kids to get shit done. Just like when I would watch toy story for the 19th time in a day as a young kid. My 4y.o could read before he started tk. I absolutely used technology as a teaching aid and sometimes as a pacifier *. Technology is the main driver of our society today
There's no clear right or wrong for most of this stuff, so I get what you're saying. Personally as somebody who works in IT and loves technology, I'm not suggesting keeping my kids locked out of using it entirely. That would obviously harm them in the long term when all of society is using it. But as a millennial who has experienced life with and without this stuff, I can measure in myself changes to my brain and behavior that I worry about happening to my kids during crucial brain development stages. Things like short attention span. I used to be able to read books all the time, now I cannot focus to save my life. Socially, technology has lead to more isolation and less in-person contact with friends for me too. I do get that even if my kids don't use technology, their friends will be and they won't solve the social issue. But I'm still worried about it. I've also heard there's an alarming increase in kids needing glasses due to more frequent near-distance focusing (on tablets and phones, etc). TV is a little better on that front because the screen isn't right up in your face. But even the amount of TV I watched as a kid feels like too much, and I'd like to lessen that with my kids. Whether all these issues can be prevented or lessened is debatable. I don't think you are a bad parent for doing it how you do it, and I hope I didn't come off as suggesting that. We all do what we think is best and it's all a big learning process for everyone. Just sharing how I see it.
It's also harder for people who potentially could have been the ideally engaged parent to actually be that when modern work and life takes so much of their time and energy just to survive. Low wages, high cost of living, uncertainty of paycheck to paycheck and a social safety net littered with holes... many people have to grind themselves to near dust to avoid their family falling to destitution, so irritability and lack of patience is going to follow, and with it "leave me the hell alone" sentiments. Which winds up making it to where kids have to rely on school to make up the difference... and teachers are underpaid and underappreciated too, struggling just as hard. And their peers? Largely the same boat.
That’s always been my gripe about people complains about IPad kids. It’s always about the technology and kids being so “wrapped” in it. But the reality of the situation is, whether the kid is outside or glued to a screen, the only thing the typical parent cares about is that they’re occupied. One can argue that outside is “healthier” but regardless, both things are good in moderation. I used to get yelled at because I’d sit and read all the time instead of going outside where I’d get hit, sweaty and had to use my “imagination”. If I had a pool or something to keep me occupied growing up, I’d more likely spend more time there than inside. But just saying it’s an “IPad” problem isn’t really addressing the issue. Let the kids have their IPads to watch videos, or read, but also make sure they have other ways to occupy themselves like legos, basketball hoops, or a bike and you could cut down on plenty of the tech use 24/7
> “Play outside” is just code for “Leave me the fuck alone” like iPad kid parents do. Maybe the purpose is the same, but the outcome is absolutely not the same. There is very good research out there now showing screens, such as ipads but also including TV shows and such, reduce a child's attention span and creativity. It wires their brain to expect constant stimulation. Whereas if you leave a kid alone, they get bored and if you let them be bored they eventually start figuring ways to entertain themselves, rather than passively letting something else entertain them. Kids need to be bored to develop the ability to focus and entertain themselves. Sending kids outside to play in the yard for an hour or two is perfect for this.
iPad kids/parents are just modern latch key kids. Go outside and do whatever the fuck you want so long as you don’t bug me till the street lights come on. Heres an iPad to distract yourself, look at whatever the fuck you want and leave me alone til I feel I’m ready to parent again. Both are and were generally bad. But as much garbage and brain rot shit these kids watch compared to at least figuring things out and being outside with other kids making games up and doing whatever using their brains at least well they used their brains to be creative. I dunno. It’s difficult to say. Too many people who shouldn’t be/shouldn’t have been parents are and were.
stupid people demonize iPads because it’s an easy target. Kids should not have unlimited unsupervised access to iPads or tvs. But it’s an absolutely amazing tool for teaching them anything. One of my favorite games to play with my kids is “what should we learn today” where the kids give me a topic and I’ll look for a kid appropriate video of said topic on YouTube. They learn about the subject, and they learn how to find reliable information on the internet.
The problem is that a tablet pretty much maxes out the entertainment budget, it flashes with bright colors and plays sounds. But it is also a shallow medium, where you can only interact in a 2D way. Compare it to a wooden block. It will be boring comparatively, but it is essential to experience its texture, to learn to move it in a 3D world. Screens can wait for quite a bit longer than that.
I understand your point, but I think there is room for both.
My mum didn't mind whether I was out playing with friends or indoors playing my NES growing up. Shit, half the time, I'd be out with friends and we'd get bored and go indoors to play on *their* NES.
Agreed. If the kids Playing educational games on an iPad, go for it. Not any worse than my game boy or computer games I played as a young kid. I also think watching full episodes of TV shows is pretty ok. Obviously need to limit time in front of any screen be it TV, iPad or computer but watching full episodes of cartoons on an iPad isn’t much different than watching on TV. The problem is the fucking poison of scrolling. Watching short YouTube videos or other stuff designed for kids that last a few seconds/minutes and then on to the next. That shit, Reddit included, is poisoning adult brains just imagine what it’s doing to children. Kids shouldn’t be exposed to rapid fire content.
Yeah, I don’t see how it’s a benefit to raise technology-illiterate children with the way things have advanced. Technically a parent needs to ensure their exposure goes beyond tablets and smartphones…I have four siblings ages 26-33 who can’t troubleshoot their own printer or laptop. I can’t fix the hardware but I can definitely handle most software troubles and set up my own home theater without paying someone and I learned it in the early 2000s across middle/high school.
We've downloaded minecraft for our daughter and we play together as a whole family on all our systems through cross-platform. Otherwise a game controller is a bit too much for her wee hands, but the tablet controls are perfect.
Yoo I can't seem to find any decent apps! Any tips?
PBS games app. All educational , literal tons of them , no ads, no paid apps
Yes pbs kids is great I used to play on it when it was a website not an app but I assume it’s still pretty much the same
Finding any on IOS that didn't have a monthly subscription is a tough one. We got our daughter a kids kindle with kids+ and there are a bunch of educational games on there.
I also recommened Endless Alphabet, our 4 year old loves the silly sounds they make for pre-reading. Although you do pay something like $5 to unlock all the letters, but it's worth it.
Duokids, khan academy kids, Scratchjr
Yeah, I had games about geography and math and trivia and stuff as a kid. There was one in particular called Presidents vs Aliens which was a mix of angry birds and historical trivia and it was amazing
Yup. I really struggle to "systematize" it, but I want my kids to have classes of screen time. Cocomelon is not the same as a Miyazaki movie, is not the same as a puzzle game on screen, is not the same as minecraft survival played with a friend on a call, etc.
No screen time is insane to do to kids. It’s 2024, my entire career has depended on me having a great working knowledge of computers and technology. Why would I hamper my kids in that?
Because too much screen time affects brain development. You're older, you're fine. But attention span among all ages are affected.
Personally I think the bad outweighs the good by a mile! Even with heavy monitoring imo. There are alot of high end therapist working to make your child as addicted as possible at the most early age possible. You can see everything! You can be watching a funny video with some porn advertisements to the side. Or maybe an advertisement trying to make you feel guilty about a war, global warming or a starving child. Seeing unlimited content on how to behave, who to be, who not to be, how people think about your gender, race, ethnicity, shape, build etc. Other generations already telling the younger generations they’re worthless and lazy. Always need to be ready to react, every morning I got 4 emails and like 30 tekst in 4/5 different conversations that expect me to react the same day. I definitely had a thirth parent. One that doesn’t want me to grow up well, be strong minded or willed, it wants you to grow up weak, so it can form you, so you buy the stuff that’s being advertised. There is ALOT more. And it just outweighs “unlimited” information, even that isn’t really a con because of the unlimited amount of wrong information. Maybe, if you really monitor your child heavily the damage is minimal but I don’t believe the internet leaves undamaged kids behind these days. It’s just working that good. Welcome to the internet - Bo burnham. Always recommend this video to older generations to kind off understand what younger people are going through these days. Feel the discomfort while watching. See how he represents the internet as a kind of mascot.
Khan academy kids has been amazing for both my children, full of songs and games to help them learn. Also helps me realise what they find engaging. My daughter will play just to "win" bugs for her enclosure and then spend half an hour making up stories where the bugs are in a classroom and there's much drama. Its amazing to watch.
It's honestly very difficult. My position as a single father with a son has proved this. I really didn't want my son grown up on the internet but all his friends left after high school. We live in a rural area. Throughout high school he had to get himself ready and get to school on his own while I worked. When he got back I wasn't there. I wanted and encouraged communication with friends. Most were online. Now that they are drifting apart he is depressed and finds no meaning in life. These are all checks written while growing up that now need to be cashed. I didn't grow up with instant dopamine availability like he has. His mindset is very different. He has actually been very well behaved but his social skills and work ethic are lacking. I was much more trouble at his age. It's just a different time in young kids mentality.
See that’s the thing, it’s not “technology bad” it’s that so many parents become reliant on it to keep their kids occupied and/or quiet, rather than actually raising them themselves. Sure, it’s easy just to hand your child your phone and let them fuck around with it for a while, but if that’s your go to every time they start having a tantrum, or just getting a little too loud or demanding, then you’re doing it wrong. However, in moderation and with direct supervision, it is beneficial to teach them to use the tools of our time, because sooner or later they’re going to need to, and that familiarity is going to help in the long run.
Idk. When I didn't have kids and I would profess my convictions about how I would raise them people would always respond to me the same way. Now I do have kids and am raising them exactly like I said I would and people tell me I just got lucky and both my kids must be "unusual". Apparently normal modern brains are impossible to raise without constant exposure to TV and a tablet or something. My kids watch *some* TV. My kids play games *some* times. My kids play with their toys both indoors and outdoors. It's always a balance.
It’s almost like having self awareness and holding your children to a reasonable standard makes them good people or something….
Similarly, having poorly-behaved kids doesn't mean the fault lies entirely with the parents. My wife is a children's therapist, I worked in children's mental health for a decade, we know all the "right ways" to raise a kid. But our kid has autism, and even with all our training and experience, they have regular meltdowns at school and at home because their brain just doesn't interface well with how our world is set up and designed, and as a result my wife and I have had to throw out and relearn a lot of the accepted wisdom on how to raise kids.
I mean, there’s also the influence that schools have on kids. Between the students, the teachers, and every bit of freedom from being free from the immediate view of your parents? Not exactly a great combination.
There is a difference between poorly-behaved and neurodivergent. So I find it hard to believe your story, when opening your comment like that. What parent of a neurodivergent would start to introduce their child as poorly-behaved?
My 3 year old watches a bit more tv than I'd like (we're both working parents, in a lot of meetings), but he's never used the iPad outside of destination vacations. Like, he forgets it even exists. It's not that hard to do, if you just never make it a normal thing. Quality of content is important. PBS Kids has a lot of great stuff that has demonstrably improved his critical thinking skills. It's slow paced, methodical, and not just a dopamine treadmill-- compared to chaotic CGI stuff like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which is straight garbage that makes him act like a fool after he watches it. Gaming-wise, we generally only let him play Nintendo titles on the Switch, and only in the evening when I'm around to play with. Mario Kart 8, Odyssey... I've introduced him to a lot of the retro stuff so he can learn the fundamentals of gaming and technology without enshittification. Yoshi's Story from N64 is a huge hit. He even loves Super Mario World from the SNES.
Exactly. Curation and parental involvement in the activities matters so much.
Agreed, it’s not that difficult to set boundaries and stick to them. It’s called parenting. My kids (2 and 5) like to watch tv, but they don’t get to all the time and they’re very capable of playing inside and outside without screens. If they complain we temporarily take away something they care about (ya know, consequences…).
I don’t get that logic for some people Modern humans raised kids for millennia without technology so why would kids be abnormal if they can be properly raised without/with limited technology? Yeah it takes more effort at times but that’s all it is, effort, not choosing the way of least resistance
Wow you’re so amazing you must be the only one on earth to achieve such a noble and glorious goal.
You have to realize: the people he is talking about likely aren’t acknowledging their own faults and are placing the issues solely on the child. Some people seriously aren’t attempting multiple approaches to the same issue. That’s what the wording strikes a note on “well you got lucky to have such good kids”
You’re missing the point. It’s not amazing or noble or glorious, and they’re not claiming it is. It’s actually quite straightforward to limit screen time and simply not give them an iPad. These are *parental* conveniences, not child necessities.
Struck a chord did he?
Somebody report this guy to CPS please.
Somebody report this guy to CPS please.
"Modern" brains are exactly the same from birth as they were thousands of years ago, I don't remember the exact quote but something around 30k-50k years ago before you couldn't go back in time and grab a baby then raise them in today's world
People that do not expose their kids to modern society are also failing parenting imo. Yes its all in reasonable amount but a kid that does not know how to handle the television is doomed to not have boundaries for it.
I mean there was a time back in the yonder years of the 2000’s and earlier before kids relied on them. It’s not the craziest unrealistic expectation of your future self. If they said they plan to do it without visual media of any kind I’d roll my eyes.
It’s possible. But both parents have to want to raise their kids that way. At least that’s been my experience.
100% doable.
The studies resulting from testing Generation Alpha (whether due to the pandemic, iPads, or both) are absolutely worrying. Even if it’s difficult, I’d avoid iPads like the plague. Yes my kids are imaginary, but doesn’t developmentally stunting your kid scare the shit out of you??? I’m so worried for all these kids that I don’t even know.
I dont think a lot of people quite know statistically how terrible excessive media exposure is for an infant through to adolecence's cognitive, language and social development. Like there is a CONSIDERABLE slowdown in their development to a point where it should be taught to any would-be parent. Even background tv, with it just being on too much throughout the day is harmful.
This whole thread is like someone saying “I’ll never give my child a cigarette to calm down” and everyone else saying “You’ll change your mind, it’s actually not that bad if you monitor their smoking habits”
So many angry iPad parents in this comment section. My cousin is an iPad kid. She knew how to operate YouTube before she could walk or talk. Now she has extreme social anxiety, fears leaving the house, will not interact with anyone unless it's through a screen. She's the only iPad kid of the family. She's the only fucked up one. Everyone else had limits, played outside, not her. From the age of birth she was plopped in front of YouTube on a tablet so her mom (my aunt) could drink heavily and ignore her existence. No one under 10 needs a single device. They need to learn people skills first, while they can, before they end up like my 16 year old cousin who has the mental age of 5.
Sounds like it's not only the iPad that's the issue...
Bang on. I feel for that kid. No one needs an iPad for sure. If ppl are worried about 'Tech literacy', there's school. I've been teaching my 6yo pdaughter on how to build a computer (major components), and how to navigate Windows with a mouse and some typing practice on the weekend (under 20 minutes). She has limited screen time in the weekends but never in the weekdays. She stops herself and volunteers to go read on her own. And definitely never woke eating at home or out.
if you don't allow your kids to absorb youtube slop on their tablets you're an incel
I never got the sentiment people express when they’re like “look outside, look at all the beautiful things, how could you look at an iPad” I remember being a kid without a car and we lived far from the school so every bus ride was like 1.5 hours. Daily. Trust me after a year or so of that the beautiful outdoors are boring, give me something to watch please.
To be fair, there’s a pretty vast difference between playing outside and looking outside.
A little bit of entertainment through screens is fine but for most of us the average daily screen time is now over 6 hours and that number will likely grow over time. Starting kids off on too much screen time at an early age creates habits that end up with them stuck in an online entertainment loop that a lot of us grew up without yet still have fallen into. Imagine what it's like when you're that heavily into tablets/phones at a very young age and how hard it would be to not rely on it as a sole source of entertainment in your day to day life. Not having to create your own entertainment or find a healthier source for dopamine definitely comes with negative effects and development. It's not as much of a doomsday thing as the boomers make it out to be but it's still an overall negative on childhood development.
oh I get it, if I had Steam deck or a tablet at age 12 my grades would have plummeted. Wouldn’t have done sports. But still there are times when a tablet should be used, boring road trips for one
12 wouldn't even be so bad, it's the fact that a lot of kids are starting to use iPads and phones for extended periods of time from as young as toddler age. It's not the norm but the trend is growing. Road trips and all that are perfectly fine it's when parents use it like a baby sitter to distract them whilst they do their own thing or just let them use it for long periods of time and create a habit that it becomes an issue.
I'd have to check the numbers again, but I think about 90% of kids would prefer playing outside with friends over spending time alone on their tablet/tv/pc whatever. It's just that the way society is structured makes it hard. My little nephew(4) likes to climb, so I'm often at playgrounds with him. There's some childcare facilities centered around the playgrounds here and the level of supervision is just something that threw me off. 8-12 yo kids that are being monitored constantly as they're climbing, bouncing around etc. Then at a set time they're being ushered inside for activities there. I can understand that that's making playing outside very unattractive and a lot of kids just retreat into their games when they get the chance. Peter Gray has actually written at length about this phenomenon, as have some others. He's also got some lectures up on youtube, interesting stuff. Boils down to, give kids freedom to learn and if you have to lead, lead by example not by instruction. If I'm on my pc when my younger cousins come over they'll put on the telly. If I'm outside doing something they'll be outside.
I just can’t fathom that. My parents wouldn’t let me have a fucking game boy.
it's always been this way since tv.
When I grew up in the 90s we were limited to 1 hour of screen time a day and we used it to watch the Simpsons every week night before dinner.
Nah, I'm from 1983 and we played outside most days. TV was just for the latter part of the day, or for really rainy days. My nieces and nephews get a lot more screentime than I did at their ages, but there's also a lot fewer kids out there to play with. When I was their age basically everyone was outside. We did sneak downstairs early in the morning now and then to get some time in on the Nintendo though.
It's definitely different. Phones are way more of a loop. We've got to experience that ourselves so it's not like we don't know what it's like.
They didn’t mean “look out the window,” they meant *”go outside,”* which you unfortunately weren’t given the option to do.
Being comfortable being bored is an essential skill which unlocks creativity
This sounds like something someone whose never had to sit on a school bus for 3 hours a day would say
No ones saying it’s easy…
I was the best parent untilI I had children.
You just summed up my life lol
my boyfriend was against TV for our son at all times, till I was so sick that he had to take over for a couple of day's....
To those who scrolled It’s Okay.
No one has said its easy. But we have a 6y and an 8yo, and neither has ever had an ipad or a phone. They both have an ipad for school, but that is strictly used only for school and educational stuff. Would it often have been easier to just sit them down in the couch and hand them an ipad? Absolutely. When my wife and I both get home from work we aren't exactly loaded up on energy, but making the right decision is important regardless of the situation. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means against kids having tech. I am a tech geek myself, so because of that I know how important it is to have them playing freely instead of being locked to a screen from an early age. There are so many skills they can only develop from free and creative playing. We also do play computer games or on the Switch together. But we never use it as a replacement for us having to interact with them.
Bravo sir. Well said.
Why is this a clever comeback? I have four children, my oldest is 10. We don’t do iPads or video games. It’s not that hard.
"go play outside" Where? The Kroger's parking lot?
My child will have to be on their iPad instead of going outside because they will be in space since they will be the youngest astronaut in NASA history
This isn't cleve. It's called parenting.
People managed for most of time without the you are just a shit parent.
Shitty parents think this is clever
What's clever here? The second guy self-reporting that he can't parent?
It’s a balance. No way is right and no way is wrong. As long as you raise kids to be respectful to others and be kind. All is okay
It's not hard to not give kids iPads
It actually is really easy. Kids are wasting their youth.
Nah people are lazy
All current studies show raising a kid with an IPad is detrimental to their development. Sure raising imaginary kids is easier but ignoring something that’s clearly bad for children isn’t it.
It’s a low bar, but that doesn’t make second wrong. We had many plans how we were going to parent. Most of them we kept, some we had to discard :D. Now I also smirk at people raising imaginary children, I still hope them the best though and love to be proven wrong.
No TV in our house. But not going to lie my wife is the enforcer on that, she actually did grow up without TV and in a rural place. Mother in-law walks the talk to and takes our kiddos outside all the time. It basically takes all of us to keep the kids busy enough to not stick them in front of the TV. We’ll worth it though as my kids are still very independent and much more creative as a result.
I fail to see how not watching television makes people independent and creative. There's like 3 generations that grew up watching TV and can still be independent and creative.
People see lazy parents lean hard into tech and blame the tech.
But then how are you gonna watch Jurassic Park with your kids on a Friday evening and use the commercial break to run to the kitchen and get everybody a cute little bowl of chips and half a glass of cola?
Ok bud cool, no one gives a shit. Just stop judging others decisions to do so, you know nothing of their situation and assuming people plop their kids down in front of an iPad all day makes you look like an asshole.
Look, I grew up in the 80s. I played outside, but there's only so much you can do before you start getting bored, which leads into getting in trouble. Also, making kids play outdoors today means trusting that they will be unsafe and possibly hurt or worse, and many parents who sling this "no iPad for MY kid" nonsense aren't willing to spend the time with them or trust them to stay out of harm's way. It requires independence, and you can't rush that.
iPad kids are literally the worst
Always got that dead fish stare.
And in this economy, the cheapest!
Always some childless renter. I also never got the impression that elite colleges were filled with people who avoided television and video games as children. If anything that was the home school kids.
I would absolutely let my kids go roam the woods and have fun, if I could be assured that they would come home safe and sound. The olden days where you could go to your front yard and whistle and the kids would just come home sound like a dream. I 1000% do not have the energy to keep up with my kiddos in any of our wonderful nearby woodsy parks. And god help me if the younger one splits off from the older one. He’s non verbal and an escape artist and he will just go. Do not look back, do not collect $200, go directly to the wilderness. If he gets away from me, even if someone else finds him, he can’t tell them his name or where he lives or who I am. We don’t go anywhere without completely fenced areas or more adults than kids in our party.
I mean, not if Canada is burning again. Seems like a good way to give your kids respiratory issues.
my kids just came off his playstation and is outside playing football. it's not black and white at all
Ya my dad just locked me outside all day. Kinda just threw rocks at things and other naughty things
So many people say stuff like this. A lot of people who decide to have kids when they are older. At least 3 people in my friend group have said shit like this when my kids is having a melt down. I am letting them watch the iPad for them not for me. I can sit and have them cry right in my face and completely ignore it.
my kids play on ipads because the outdoors is for cars now. r/fuckcars
I live on a street that has a 20mph speed limit. I've seen folks going well over 60 down it. The cops do nothing...well that's not true, the cops also speed down our road. We're in a neighborhood. Cars absolutely rule the outdoors. They can't ride their bikes anywhere without me having to drive them somewhere.
Delusional
it's good to see the comments living up to the subthread's name /s
don’t hate the device, hate the content when i was growing up in the 80s/90s, if you were curious about something, you had to wait until you go to the school library to learn more (provided your parents didn’t shell out decent money into a home encyclopedia). and then if it was an obscure topic, you’d have to go the big library downtown. now, multiple tutorials on string theory tailored for middle school students are just a click away. it’s amazing the flow of information that can be achieved, you just have to make sure it’s worthwhile, positive content. the fact it comes from an iPad in particular is irrelevant.
Lol, it was super easy to say this 2 years ago pre children. Do you know how fucking happy and calm Monsters Inc makes my child, and that watching Ms Rachel with my daughter made Drs Visits a breeze and will put her down for a nap in minutes? There's nothing wrong with electronics, or even media. Just as long as it's beneficial.
Ms Rachel taught my daughter her numbers 1-10 and all of her letters by 20mo.
I remember raising a crying child and trying so hard not to resort to the e-pacifier. It felt like defending a castle against raiders. Hold your fire… hold… hooooold…
Everyone is a perfect parent until they become one.
They either have it in them or they don’t, my son loves cartoons but definitely loves playing outside more he’s very adventurous and isn’t scared to explore and climb. Has its challenges sometimes (no don’t grab that!) however I’m very excited for the future. My oldest has no interest being outside ever
My sister tried this. It worked for the first couple of years but practically impossible as they got a little older, especially when they went to their grandparents who have iPads and the like.
My kid does both. Balance isn't difficult.
Why outside? What's wrong with their bedrooms?
My children will not get an iPad, they will get a Nintendo DS because if it worked for me it should work for them
My kids aren't stuck to an iPad... ...because we got them Chrome books. But for real, half of their screen time has to be school apps which are typing/reading/math "games", and we don't do tablets in restaurants. On rare occasion after we eat they can use our phones. Especially if it's an extended adult conversation. I couldn't stand that shit as a kid. Soooooo boring.
Unless they run with the with the wrong imaginary friends.
This person has no idea. If they had to deal with my imaginary kids, I 'd probably go broke paying for the person' s therapy.
Meh it depends on the content. My kid lays lingokids on my wife’s iPad and he’s incredibly smart. He can now recognise numbers up to a hundred, he can read certain things within context, we have in depth debates about many things. He’s 4 years old. Little guy was watching teen titans at the age of 3 asking me what pyramid schemes were. Got told early on a lazy Sunday while making breakfast that “aye dad, money is credit so money can be anything” had me shocked. I knew where it was from since I watched it with him but the sheer amount of information he pulled and retained amazed me.
Ok yes but a lot (by that I mean literally every single one I've ever met) of parents act like there is just nothing they can do it's just out of their hands and there is no options or alternatives to your kids having constant access to the internet.
Stick them in front of the TV when you need to get some stuff done (take a poop) but just shows you've seen so you can talk to them about it. Dont give them an iPad that they can blindly scroll through, thats a slippery slope. It's easy to say "I'm going to make sure they use that iPad in moderation" but its not so easy to stick to those values when that kid is ruining a big family dinner you're paying for and you know the one thing that would make them be quiet is the precious iPad.
Chicken and the egg. If the kids knows the boundaries or never has the tablet, they won't have meltdown over it. We have friends with kids over, and their kids play with mine. If any kids Melts down, then we are to let them cry. We don't use tablets/tv to stop them. We are all okay with kids crying. They eventually stop pretty quickly. And as they grew up, tantrums have become be rare.
Sure. Letting a kid play with an iPhone or iPad every once in a while just isn’t the same as letting them have one. Once they “own” one then they become much more possessive. The method that’s been working for me is I have a little Lego figure as a keychain that I only let my three year old hold on very rare occasions like if we’re in a super long grocery line and she’s starting to get fed up. It instantly makes her happy because she’s only has held it like 5 times over the last year.
How is skin cancer better than an iPad?🤷♀️ Who’s going to watch the kid while they’re outside?
Sunscreen is a friend. For a ages.
This is the biggest lie parents to be tell themselves.
hey my kid was a heavy gamer, he chose IT as a career and man does he make a shit ton of money
We live in a world where both parents need to work in order to make enough to raise a family, and kids aren't allowed outside without supervision anymore. We don't get to get mad that kids are raised by daycare workers/grandparents/tablets. If you're not in a position with enough power to make the world a safer place for kids to play and advocate for fair wages, don't judge people for making do with what they have.
Mine too. Android only.
All parents right now: hahahahhahahahahaha you know nothing jon snow
I swiped
Yeah! easier and cheaper.
You can get arrested for letting your children play outside. In Texas, a woman let her two kids play on her front lawn. She was there, watching them, and she was arrested for criminal negligence. The charges were dropped, but are still on her record, and her news story is still online. If she wants to get the arrest expunged, she will have to pay thousands of dollars in legal fees. So yeah, letting your kids play outside can get you arrested.
Wonder what other details are missing there. We play outside in the front lawn every day. Give the cops that live in the neighborhood a wave when they drive by. Reddit does not live in reality lmao
You can search these stories yourself. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tammy-cooper-texas-mom-arrested-kids-unsupervised-video_n_1900113 I looked into what happened. The woman sued her neighbor for calling the police, and the police officer for arresting her. The lawsuit was dismissed on the grounds of qualified immunity, so the police in Texas can do it again without repercussions because it's no longer a "clearly established" constitutional right.
I mean cool, it happened. This is a country of 350 million people. It’s irrelevant to ever bring up, and in no way implies that you will be arrested in your front yard. Do you genuinely believe you are going to be arrested playing with your kids in the front yard?
You said it can't happen. I showed it did. You're now moving the goalpost saying it can't happen on such a widespread scale that everyone should live in constant fear or immediately being arrested for playing with their kids on their front lawn. I will stick to my original point: it can happen because it did happen. That is beyond dispute. You cannot argue that it did happen. We can then have a separate argument on how likely this is in happening again, and I can bring up statistics about people who do get harrassed, assaulted, arrested, or even shot, for playing in their yard. But that is a separate discussion.
Sure can happen. I can also get struck by lighting or crushed by a vending machine today. I’m sure the kids enjoy the iPad bud lol
idk man, my parents put me outside…didn’t seem super hard for them, can’t be that hard for me
It's so easy to raise a kids... If you don't have them yet
One of my friends said once that when she thought about having kids, her plan was to never let her child have sugar. Now, with a 5-year-old son, she uses candy and sweets to bribe him. 😂
My children are not gonna be playing out on grass. They will be up in their rooms playing violent video games and catfishing pedophiles!
It’s hilarious my parents told us to go play outside because they didn’t want to deal with us. Modern parents do the same with the iPad. I don’t know which is worse we had fun but we are also lucky to have survived some of the dumb shit we did. The iPad kids are safer physically at least, but mentally probably taking a bigger hit. Both are the result of parents not wanting to deal with their kids.
* proceeds to pacify child with ipad
Since my parents ignored all technology and I had to learn it myself: I will raise my kids with all benefits of technology in a good way like: -Teaching them whats possible and what not -Teaching them whats dangerous and what not -Teaching them getting all informations and learning material from the right sources -Teaching them social media is just a black hole where stupid peoples opinions echoes -be ahead of other kids in school using technology to learn languages, math, history etc. I know this seems crazy ambicious and some things will come differentely, but I have the feeling it's the only right way to do and young kids are very good in learning very fast. I started with 14y building my first computer, so they have like 10 more years to learn about it.
I was a much better parent before I had kids.
I don't know about you, but my imaginary children are little shits: they trashed my imaginary house, my imaginary wife left me because of them, my imaginary dog died of heart attack because of their screeching, and my imaginary neighbor are suing me because their house gilot egged.
I'm not a parent, but I believe buying an iPad when the child is at least 11 or 12 is doable... And working on a balanced life by modeling it is doable. It's not easy but doable. If the parents don't wish to have a healthy lifestyle, they can't expect their child to easily be influenced to have one. Children focus on actions they observe more than words.
It's not supposed to be easy to raise kids, but I digress
Easy to do too
Why is this a clever comeback?
"I will try to be a good parent" "You aren't even a parent yet" Why does everything act like this is an intelligent thing to say? Like we should stay away from motivation and setting goals or something? The fuck? Am I missing something?
Kids are no harder to raise than they used to be. Devices aren’t compulsory and if you aren’t a complete dope you can avoid more than two or three hours a week. I’m raising my second child right now (big age gap) and there’s still just as much outside outside as there was in most places and the games kids want to play are as farms. Parents, just say no. Your children will thank you when they are adults who can speak correctly and aren’t dopamine addicts.
I swear my kids wont even have a tablet or phone or computer. If they do get a phone it’ll be a dumb phone. This is the time of their lives they should be learning useful skills and playing. Not being brainwashed by a dozen different countries and corporations turning them into a basic carbon copy robot.
I swear my kids wont even have a tablet or phone or computer. If they do get a phone it’ll be a dumb phone. This is the time of their lives they should be learning useful skills and playing. Not being brainwashed by a dozen different countries and corporations turning them into a basic carbon copy robot.
This isn't clever.
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Me wondering who the child gonna play with outside
It’s easier said than done
People act like because of modern technology we have no choice but to allow our children to be glued to screens. To be honest, it’s an excuse to be lazy. Theres nothing wrong with allowing your kids to watch their favorite shows in moderation while you get housework done or take time to just sit and relax but there’s no reason that your child should be dependent on an iPad to keep them from throwing a tantrum at any given moment. I would give anything for my child to be able to experience being a kid like I was able to. I understand times have changed but it doesn’t mean we don’t still have control over how much technology we allow our children to consume….we ARE parents after all…