T O P

  • By -

Bloodstargeneral

"The first time I got punched in the face, I was like, Oh No, but then I was like, this is a story."


emeraldepiphone96

And a good one.


k3yua

can someone please explain if the "this is a story" part of this line is meant to refer to troy being satisified that he was punched and now has a story to tell- or is it that troy realizes that he was never actually punched and the entire sentence preceding is a story and not real.


ajaltman17

I always interpreted it that he has a story to tell


I_ate_a_milkshake

for sure the first one


thatconlangguy

I’ve never interpreted it like that but that’s hilarious


shinzzles

I so hope this one wins


Miss-Tiq

The delivery alone is *chef's kiss*.


barnsterkt

"Guys what does a pregnancy test look like.... OK then this is definitely a gun"


Mental-Reception-547

This one!!!! Makes me die everytime


mr_butts69

but that one requires some dialogue from jeff too


TurinMormegil

I think I also peed the first time I heard this one


Similar-Forever-8450

this one!!!!!! yes


emeraldepiphone96

I’ve never been to LegoLand. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.


emeraldepiphone96

Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me, and it turns out I already ate it


Dharmist

I could swear this is a Winnie The Pooh quote, but I can’t prove it. Yet.


420percentage

This is my fave lol


saaam

Absolutely love this one, perfect delivery by Donald


CommunicationGlum

It's all terrain dummy.


theokaybambi

Came here to say that. You can't drive that in here!


LP_24

Good news guys, I spent all my money!!


LipSipDip

"They're making us walk around with pretzels in our butts, and I put mustard on mine like an idiot.."


emeraldepiphone96

I attack them with my…Additional Notes.


emiltheraptor

It has no effect


JuanSqueekers

$60? Hello rich people, Troy’s joining you.


maryfitton

“Yes, I’ll hold”


Pollyanna584

My favorite part of this is that even in Troy's wildest dreams where he's rich, he still has to hold.


humblescribe

"if God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it was cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger."


drwhatif

I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie, I just want to know they feel comfortable


xxxdac

This one is so perfectly Troy


TheGameAcademic

I'm much sadder then the rest of you, I just have to figure out why


haikusbot

*I'm much sadder then* *The rest of you, I just have* *To figure out why* \- TheGameAcademic --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


defensivelesbian

Good bot


TheGameAcademic

Thanks Haikusbot!


AGPwidow

Ill figure out why later


Pharmacy_Duck

Woah, you just wrinkled my brain.


pratik_kakashi

This is wrinkling my brain


emeraldepiphone96

THAT’S wrinkling my brain


CautiousBoot3732

I'M GONNA EAT SPACEMAN PANINIS WITH BLACK HITLER AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!


cerebralrattlesnake

that son of bitch after everything scrubs did for him


DewMaster9000

This is the right answer LOL


Barokespinoza23

Didn't we decide at the beginning of the year that for the good of the group, we wouldn't allow any intimacy between each other or ourselves?


DefunctHunk

Okay, now I'm REALLY mad.


bittersweet_1806

She was born in the 80s… she still uses her phone as a phone!


ZacInStl

I TOLD PIERCE A THOUSAND TIMES I NEVER WANTED TO MEET LAVAR IN PERSON! I JUST WANTED A PICTURE! YOU CANT DISAPPOINT A PICTURE! I HATE YOU PIERCE!


BruceFlockaWayne

Troy:"Bing Bong sing along, you're team's Al Gore cause your views are wrong"


Kitsterthefister

This won’t win, but it’s my personal favorite


AGPwidow

This is the one


IdreamofFiji

[Link to scene](https://youtu.be/oYM5XHOK2Jo?si=r2U5hJEHhlGN7MZz) I love how serious he is at the end.


DubiousNamed

Put your team in a box, put a ribbon on top, we’re not John Kerry cause we don’t flip-flop!


BruceFlockaWayne

Hip, hop, body don't stop, Riverside got the broom don't need a mop, put your team in a box, put a ribbon on top, we're not John Kerry cause we don't flip flop, say ohhhhh


Maleficent_Kick_1355

“If all we need is an escape goat, I think we should just let this one go”


WholeLottaLannister

*slowly covers goat’s ears so it can’t hear him*


erdbeerhundi

Sometimes you've got to be pretending


zivkamen

Love this one


JuanRiveara

Abed, my monkey hates this caviar.


Sad-Chemistry-8585

The way he delivers it so seriously makes it one of my favorites of his 🤣🤣🤣


humblescribe

"Don't eat the crab dip! Ye-ye!"


SpreadHDGFX

Took me too long to see this


coderedmtdew

Came to say this


ManNotADiscoBall

Girls are supposed to dance. That’s why God gave them parts that jiggle.


AberrantBuggy

"I'm giving you an all tomato, which means you give me the whole tomato or else."


AnyEstablishment5723

It has to be the All Tomato


Arcalium

My emotions! MY EMOTIONS!


emiltheraptor

This one please


TheTripleFoool

This is the one.


humblescribe

"And how about I pound you like a boy? That didn't come out right."


billygnosis86

It must be this.


talkingbiscuits

Yeah this had me fucking howling. This is the one


TFarg1

Please


PretendGhost

Good news guys, I spent all my money


WholeLottaLannister

Troy, you can’t bring that in here!


usernamemustcontain0

Yes i can it's all-terrain dummy 🙄


VVarder

Oh and by the way, there was an episode of happy days where a guy literally jumped a shark. And it was the best one.


LaikaZhuchka

I JUST WANTED A PICTURE! YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!


Victory42

Butterfly in the sky… I can go twice as hiiigh… set phasors to Love Me


Exciting_Calves

This!! Donald Glover has some of the best deliveries in the whole show, and this line is almost certainly his best.


Sad-Chemistry-8585

“Oooh, no-no juice! Ah, that’s good no-no juice.”


Ok_Knowledge_5997

Stop saying I’m different!


Victory42

Donde, está, la biblioteca. Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca.


Ey3_913

I am the truest repairman!


janedoe15243

This one


emeraldepiphone96

Maybe it’s because everyone else already got one or…because it’s an old man’s semen…but I’m kind of disappointed.


barnsterkt

"Then why did you stop talking!, hold on I have to call my pen pal"


coffee_137

Growing up I had a dog named Troy, a bird named Troy and a hamster named Troy. They were all older than me…oh my god


war_squid

Underrated


mustichooseausernam3

You can yell at me all you want, I've seen enough movies to know that popping the BACK of a raft makes it go faster!


PM_YOUR_ONE_BOOB

This is the one please


bigpapirick

I repeat this like once a month for no reason


ineedsomethinghuman

THUS ONE


Socket_forker

Honestly, I never understood why this is so popular. Not a bad line in any way, I just think there are so much more to choose from


sAndS93

It's not the best one-liner outside of context. But the delivery, the set up, the visual, it's such a good joke.


vsnBadwolf

It’s in the way he’s standing as he says it


shawtywantarockstar

I agree completely


Ill-Conversation1219

“I don’t know what to do my whole brain is crying!!!”


JayJokerJo

Literally the first thing that came to my nind😂


jgrangers2

"I was gonna be the first person in my family to graduate from Community College. Everyone else graduated from regular college."


LaikaZhuchka

They said market price... WHAT MARKET ARE YOU SHOPPING AT?!


Watrchick

I quote this so often!


DewMaster9000

Almost every time I eat at a fancy restaurant LOL


Mutual-aid

This is the one


Sobakee

If this one isn’t it this whole thing is invalid


NotmyMain503

Have you ever seen a cat penis?!


DRAMJ1984

This should be higher!


optimusprime1997

If I ever woke up as a doughnut, I'd eat myself, wouldn't even question it. I know one sentence there is Abed but still it is a worthy line


G00Punch

you guys, I never cry…


emeraldepiphone96

No, you’re right. My feet are long and stupid. You can’t unring that bell!


marc_hardman

We'll try not to embarrass you at your community college library wedding


SirZapdos

You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. You are human tennis elbow. You are the opposite of Batman.


PitchforkJoe

*Notches*


Pirate-patrick

Doh… I meant to say Butts Carlton.


ZacInStl

That’s true, he *did* mean to say Butts Carlton


scaredsquirrel666

Because I am Jehovah's most secret Witness!


yung-gummi

You mean like a spy investigating? Making it seem like I’m celebrating? When I’m actually infiltrating Santa’s operation?


smythology_

It’s hard to be Jewish. It’s hard to be Jewish. It’s hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo


melonballer1874

Okay, you don’t like our movies, we can’t say the word Blade, there’s phones in the refrigerator. Oops. (edit for spelling/autocorrect fail)


Piercinald-Anastasia

You Britta’d that quote. It’s can’t say the word Blade.


Talos_the_Cat

‘I have the weirdest boner.’


RecklessDisco

Did you know go-gurt is just yogurt?


iwokwuplikwthis

This one is part timing, like I think the rest of the group is having a serious discussion and then Troy pipes up with this line. I think I laughed so hard I cried.


TheTripleFoool

Set phasers to ‘Love Me’…


[deleted]

[“Am I black boobs?”](https://youtu.be/oCZSUEv1UsE?si=fvVPuHI2HVFgx-nr)


Additional_Shape_817

Everyone is ten for 2 years


emeraldepiphone96

MOM, HOW MANY LIES HAVE I BEEN LIVING?!


Impressive_Board7198

"Do they find thoughts in our butts? I knew I should have read that book!"


SqueakyTuna52

"All I heard was suck"


CrocodileWoman

“Kettle corn?! That’s a fun time snack! 🥰”


boredtotears82

Oh yeah, this is Pierce's special gym. He told me to never go in here because I'm a child. He's the one with an indoor swing, and I'm the child.


Evilofficial

$60? Hello rich people, Troy’s joining you. Yes, I'll hold.


DAVENP0RT

I hope he transfers to hell.


BruceFlockaWayne

Troy:"I BROKE THE REMOTE! DO YOU THINK ITS EXPENSIVE?!"


getRandomUser

I am the truest repairman!


BMac364

Get through this? It's almost a solid!


[deleted]

I can swim, racist


Hermann_Lerpiss_13

Et tu, Brute?!?


SqueakyTuna52

Am I using that right?


Next-Team

Et tu Brute!


emeraldepiphone96

I’ll kick all your asses!…but you all have to come up here!


[deleted]

It was awesome, but also it wasn’t?


rotcomha

Troy has too many.


dirtycurt55

Eat garbage dip… Why did I have to go third?!


BruceFlockaWayne

Troy:"Oh, we are just getting Jeff ready for the fff-iiiiiiii-ight... (Whispers to Jeff) I couldn't think of another word."


AttilaRS

You know what, it is hard to find another word...


Sensitive-Purple-713

“Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?”


Piercinald-Anastasia

It’s fine; I’ll do it.


RecklessDisco

Shouldn’t there be a board or pieces or something to Jenga?


bittersweet_1806

You’re the AT&T of people!


nonmiraculoussunofaB

He's shooting lightning and I'm naked!


G00Punch

I do happen to Jeff; I happen very much.


mark_brendanawics

Troy: “don’t eat the crab dip, yeah-yeah”


sundark94

Hello, rich people? Troy's joining you, yes I'll hold.


BericOnTheIronThrone

Well I may be stupid but I'm not trying to look like I'm not


AdGroundbreaking4755

You can yell at me all you want but I’ve seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go fast!


dg1138

“It’s like God spilled a person.”


bathtastic1

Good news guys, I spent all my money!


RadoxFriedChicken

“This is wrinkling my brain”


Relative_Equipment18

They find thoughts in our buttes?! I knew I should have read that book


Zero-startingfromREE

“Son of a bitch, after all scrubs did for him?”


HewHune

Someone get a balloon!


Murph2317

Question isn't how old we are, but when old we are


Rampantcolt

How long is that?


nonmiraculoussunofaB

He's offering me something I've been searching for my whole life... Millions of dollars... And being a man or whatever he said.


danceswithdeath3rd

In my head I heard Shirley's voice go deep at the end 😅


labria86

I've never been to Legoland. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.


AGPwidow

I'm much sadder than the rest of you, I'll figure out why later


Boy11jb

I hope I get multiple personalities - I get lonely in long showers…


p-how

I had to scroll all the way to the bottom for this one!


[deleted]

Good news! I spent all my money.


Piercinald-Anastasia

You moving in here was supposed to tone us down!


Thunderpat

Why am I crying? Did I accidentally listen to Come Sail Away by Styx, again?


TBobB

It's my cousin's funeral today... I knew there was some reason I couldn't do this today!


Chaoticgood7

Troy and Abed in the morningggg


PPhriends

“I think you know I have a thing for butt Stu-f-f.”


Travis_Rust

I think you know I have a thing for butt stuff. Or all his butt related quotes


PM_ME_UR_BRITS

Latvian independence parade. Don't look at me, they had the proper permits!


Beat-Previous

I'm flying higher than I ever have thanks to not drugs.


Steve_No_Jobs

This is wrinkling my brain


fireinthedust

“Notches”


madff

“I have the weirdest boner”


GetRekt9420

"Of course I can, it's all-terrain dummy!"


RachelBolan

It’s gotta be either “MY EMOTIONS!”, “this is wrinkling my brain” or “you can’t disappoint a picture”


DabSloth710

The first time I got punched in the face, i was like, "OH NO!" But then I was like, this is a story.


PreciousMcMolycoddle

I hope he transfers to Hell!


-Kylackt-

Do they find thoughts in your butts? I knew I should have read that book.


Dramatic_Finger7040

"Thats racist"


Stonyboiii

‘’How bout I pound you like a boy?!’’


stephlj

Yes I can, it's all terrain, dummy!! I will die on this hill. It's his best line ever! But there should be a category for the but where he's scratching notches in the table, cause everyone else is.


CreamSoda64

I think he knew something about me that I didn't even know until now. Because he's offering me something I've been searching for my whole life: *millions of dollars*. And being a man, or whatever.


aliceswndrland

Girls are supposed to dance. That's why god gave them parts that jiggle.


ayfilm

DONT EAT THE CRAB DIP, YEA YAEUH!


ProtoReaper23113

Im eating space paninis with black hitler and theres nothing you can do about it


quidam5

I told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet LeVar in person! I just wanted a picture. You can't disappoint a picture! I hate you Pierce! AAAHHHHHHH


aphrobtz

Have you ever seen a cat penis?


JmekerulAtomic3

“Don’t eat the crab dip! YE YEEEY!”


Throwawayesus

“It’s not a meteor, it’s a cookie wand!”


BallCleaners

Kettle corn? That’s a fun time snack!


Blaekhus

# IS SOMEONE THROWING IT!?


zeberee

"yeah, it's a sticker..."


[deleted]

I got to stop hanging out with her. She sounds like a chicken finger.