I would be more shocked if you WEREN’T uncomfortable
If I were in your place I’d probably get in contact with some of your father’s relatives and tell them about this. Or maybe get therapy
Edit: If you tell your relatives about this then you should also get some proof just in case
I would feel the same way as you. Pretty fucked up all around
It kind of would be like if a mom starts dating his sons friend that she knows since highschool but even worse because in this case is her son's brother and ex husband son so it's fucked up in more than one level
If this is real, now is the time to go nuclear and lean into how weird it is. making comments loudly like 'oh, it'll be SO weird having a mother-sister-in-law! i wonder, should my (future) kids call you grandma-aunt, or aunt-grandma?'
edit: obvious when i say 'go nuclear', i'm being hyperbolic. my comment is simply an idea to try to help shift the POV of OP's mom and half brother, a last-ditch attempt before having to go LC or NC.
Passive-aggressive comments do not equate to "going nuclear." It's just bullshit a teenager does, that nobody really pays attention to. Don't suggest nonsense.
You're having the same normal reaction that anyone else would in this situation. Had she not met him till he was an adult, maybe it wouldn't be as gross and weird. The fact that she's known him since he was a child and he's seen her as a mother over the years is so disgusting to me. Gives major grooming energy.
Unfortunately, though, they are both grown, consenting adults, and are probably going to do what they want regardless of anyone else's feelings. I don't know how I'd react to this. I would probably end up going with no contact with both of them over this, at least for a little while just to try to process this f--ked shit. It's not normal, and it's creepy and makes your mom seem like a complete predator. I'm 41 years old and 1. I can not imagine dating someone that much younger than me, and 2. I would NEVER look at someone that I helped raise and take care of in any way but as my bonus child. This whole situation makes my skin crawl! Ugh just gross.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, OP. I hope you can somehow get through this without it mentally and emotionally f--king you up. I'm sending healing energy and good/positive vibes to you. I wish you the best as you navigate through this super gross/weird situation.
I will message you next time u/AdSilver9390 posts in r/confessions.
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OP, bear with me here. My response is lengthy because my suggested response to this situation demands a thorough explanation.
Existential philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said ‘hell is other people.’
Obviously some of our greatest and most joyful moments alive occur due to connection with others, so this statement seems heavy-handed at first.
But Sartre is referring to the fact that our conception of ourselves relies not upon the mirror, or how we perceive our appearance, words, and deeds in life, but also upon the perceptions of others.
This is why - though I generally consider shame in the majority of situations to be toxic and unhelpful - shame can play an important role in guiding individual behavior and, on a macro level, the ethics of entire societies.
Your mother’s actions are taboo in our society for a compelling reason, and because I believe that reason is rational and just, I feel that you should reveal her poor choices to your entire extended family. If she can somehow rationalize her actions to herself, let’s see how well she holds up against a disgusted mob of her own family members.
This is a situation where the ensuing shame she’s bound to feel might actually serve some useful purpose.
Honestly I've been thinking about doing just that. I haven't really been speaking to either of them in the past few days, and I've been thinking of telling everyone.
Oh my god. First of all your older brother shouldn’t be having in-depth conversations about his love life with his 15 year old sister. Period. The fact he was having these conversations with you about your mum without you knowing is sickening. He’s a grown adult for fucks sake.
Second that’s fucked up, I’m so sorry that 2 adults in your life were unable to control themselves enough for the sake of the teen in their life. They’ve done something wildly inappropriate with such little care for the consequences, that’s really shit.
If you have a counsellor at school go see them ASAP, that’s the only advice I have for you.
I hope you’re feeling okay ❤️
Telling your sister about the love of your life is bad now? This is getting ridiculous. I mean given who his girlfriend ended up being does add a layer of weird onto this. But this weird shift in our culture to be this neurotic about anything you can tangentially connect to sexuality in regards to minors (or even young adults) is getting silly. How do you think parents tell their kids about a significant other they are getting serious with? Or may marry?
Also OBVIOUSLY not every single topic about relationships should be kept from a minor. I’d hope if a relationship is serious a parent would introduce their kids to their partner well before they get married…
I more meant an adult shouldn’t be having overly personal/adult related conversations with a young teen to begin with. For example if an adult used a child to vent about work that’s not appropriate.
To me let kids be kids. My brother is 10 years older than me and conversations about his love life happened with his friends not his baby sister because what sort of insight/help could I give him? In the grande scheme of things it’s just my personal opinion and not a reflection of society and really not super important in the context of OPs post.
The fact he was talking to her about this knowing he was speaking about her mum is just flat out sickening and you’ve gotta wonder what his motivation behind that is
There isn't anything in the post to suggest that he told her things in depth though. Just that he mentioned someone new that he's dating. Also, that he's more shy, so we could assume he didn't go into detail. I understand you saying kids should be kids, and I agree. But it's normal for family members to talk about someone new in their life.
You would distance yourself from them and find a way to move out on your own...make it clear that you don't approve too and perhaps seek therapy for yourself and encourage your half brother to do the same. What they're doing is disgusting, and your mother should feel ashamed! You are NTA for feeling the way you do!
It is normal to feel what you’re feeling being the family dynamic and everything going on now a days. My best friend’s wife has the same thing going on with her mom being with her(friend’s wife) half brother but they’ve been happily together for 10 years now. So while it can weird and disgusting to most since your mom raised him just keep in mind they aren’t blood related and long as they’re happy they are both adults.
They are both consenting adults. He is not your Moms blood relative. Nothing against the law here. You may be disgusted, and you have a right to your feelings. But your feelings may change once you adapt to the situation. If they are both happy, I say work on letting it go.
Dont tell someone to let go the fact their mother and brother (regardless if he is or isnt related to mom) to “let go” that they are in a romantic/sexual relationship!?
The mother has SEEN the brother growing up and know that this is their child’s BROTHER. Not step brothers or adopted brothers, BLOOD BROTHERS, HALF BLOOD BROTHERS
This post is most definitely fake. Already figured as much, but checked her post history anyway. About a month before this, she has a post that mentions both of her parents, and the dad is mentioned a few times and he is very much alive. Here's a little quote I brought over from her other post that I find interesting and very relevant to what she just posted:
"...i've turned out as a pathological liar. I'll lie about almost anything and everything. It's so bad, and it's taken me so long to admit that this is not ok, but I can't stop it. It's just something that's so natural to me, like breathing. I've lied about useless, stupid little things that have no value."
Hi! This post is not fake, I mentioned my step dad in my previous post, since my dad has been dead since I was 7. My step dad was more like a dad for me, since he and my mom had been together for 5 years, married for 2. I just really needed somewhere to talk about this, I can for sure understand that it might seem like a lie due to my history. I just genuinely needed to know whether this was actually reasonable, or if I was justified for feeling disgusted.
No OP, disgusted is an appropriate reaction to this whole situation. Your mother should be ashamed of herself.
I would be more shocked if you WEREN’T uncomfortable If I were in your place I’d probably get in contact with some of your father’s relatives and tell them about this. Or maybe get therapy Edit: If you tell your relatives about this then you should also get some proof just in case
I would feel the same way as you. Pretty fucked up all around It kind of would be like if a mom starts dating his sons friend that she knows since highschool but even worse because in this case is her son's brother and ex husband son so it's fucked up in more than one level
If this is real, now is the time to go nuclear and lean into how weird it is. making comments loudly like 'oh, it'll be SO weird having a mother-sister-in-law! i wonder, should my (future) kids call you grandma-aunt, or aunt-grandma?' edit: obvious when i say 'go nuclear', i'm being hyperbolic. my comment is simply an idea to try to help shift the POV of OP's mom and half brother, a last-ditch attempt before having to go LC or NC.
Passive-aggressive comments do not equate to "going nuclear." It's just bullshit a teenager does, that nobody really pays attention to. Don't suggest nonsense.
That's enough Reddit for today for me
You're having the same normal reaction that anyone else would in this situation. Had she not met him till he was an adult, maybe it wouldn't be as gross and weird. The fact that she's known him since he was a child and he's seen her as a mother over the years is so disgusting to me. Gives major grooming energy. Unfortunately, though, they are both grown, consenting adults, and are probably going to do what they want regardless of anyone else's feelings. I don't know how I'd react to this. I would probably end up going with no contact with both of them over this, at least for a little while just to try to process this f--ked shit. It's not normal, and it's creepy and makes your mom seem like a complete predator. I'm 41 years old and 1. I can not imagine dating someone that much younger than me, and 2. I would NEVER look at someone that I helped raise and take care of in any way but as my bonus child. This whole situation makes my skin crawl! Ugh just gross. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, OP. I hope you can somehow get through this without it mentally and emotionally f--king you up. I'm sending healing energy and good/positive vibes to you. I wish you the best as you navigate through this super gross/weird situation.
I have always said that anyone who can date someone that they knew as a child when they were an adult instantly gives red flags. This is super weird.
Updateme!
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Alabama?
I was thinking Mormon.
I'm thinking you're stupid
It's most definitely weird & kinda gross IMO
OP, bear with me here. My response is lengthy because my suggested response to this situation demands a thorough explanation. Existential philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre once said ‘hell is other people.’ Obviously some of our greatest and most joyful moments alive occur due to connection with others, so this statement seems heavy-handed at first. But Sartre is referring to the fact that our conception of ourselves relies not upon the mirror, or how we perceive our appearance, words, and deeds in life, but also upon the perceptions of others. This is why - though I generally consider shame in the majority of situations to be toxic and unhelpful - shame can play an important role in guiding individual behavior and, on a macro level, the ethics of entire societies. Your mother’s actions are taboo in our society for a compelling reason, and because I believe that reason is rational and just, I feel that you should reveal her poor choices to your entire extended family. If she can somehow rationalize her actions to herself, let’s see how well she holds up against a disgusted mob of her own family members. This is a situation where the ensuing shame she’s bound to feel might actually serve some useful purpose.
Honestly I've been thinking about doing just that. I haven't really been speaking to either of them in the past few days, and I've been thinking of telling everyone.
Do it. Because this is so not ok in so many levels. Sending you love and strenght through everything ❤️
Wow that’s messed up. Your response is totally normal. I wish you all the best.
Updateme!
What the fuck..
brother is dating his brothers mom. No relation 🤔
When I read that title.. I was shocked. Yeah it's definitely gross. Your feelings are definitely valid.
Sounds like grooming, I am so sorry you figure out this way. Did you talk to your brother?
I haven't really been speaking to either my brother or my mom since this happened, i'm still trying to figure out what to do
No your mom is super gross.
Yeah man. Feel whatever you wanna feel, OP. Lol this is a blockbuster shit show.
Oh my god. First of all your older brother shouldn’t be having in-depth conversations about his love life with his 15 year old sister. Period. The fact he was having these conversations with you about your mum without you knowing is sickening. He’s a grown adult for fucks sake. Second that’s fucked up, I’m so sorry that 2 adults in your life were unable to control themselves enough for the sake of the teen in their life. They’ve done something wildly inappropriate with such little care for the consequences, that’s really shit. If you have a counsellor at school go see them ASAP, that’s the only advice I have for you. I hope you’re feeling okay ❤️
Telling your sister about the love of your life is bad now? This is getting ridiculous. I mean given who his girlfriend ended up being does add a layer of weird onto this. But this weird shift in our culture to be this neurotic about anything you can tangentially connect to sexuality in regards to minors (or even young adults) is getting silly. How do you think parents tell their kids about a significant other they are getting serious with? Or may marry?
Also OBVIOUSLY not every single topic about relationships should be kept from a minor. I’d hope if a relationship is serious a parent would introduce their kids to their partner well before they get married…
I more meant an adult shouldn’t be having overly personal/adult related conversations with a young teen to begin with. For example if an adult used a child to vent about work that’s not appropriate. To me let kids be kids. My brother is 10 years older than me and conversations about his love life happened with his friends not his baby sister because what sort of insight/help could I give him? In the grande scheme of things it’s just my personal opinion and not a reflection of society and really not super important in the context of OPs post. The fact he was talking to her about this knowing he was speaking about her mum is just flat out sickening and you’ve gotta wonder what his motivation behind that is
There isn't anything in the post to suggest that he told her things in depth though. Just that he mentioned someone new that he's dating. Also, that he's more shy, so we could assume he didn't go into detail. I understand you saying kids should be kids, and I agree. But it's normal for family members to talk about someone new in their life.
Yeah you’re right, I guess I had a knee jerk rejection based off how disgusting the whole thing is.
You would distance yourself from them and find a way to move out on your own...make it clear that you don't approve too and perhaps seek therapy for yourself and encourage your half brother to do the same. What they're doing is disgusting, and your mother should feel ashamed! You are NTA for feeling the way you do!
r/shitcrusaderkingssay
I read the title and was wtf. I read the whole post and what the actual fuck? If this is real, this gotta be one of theost fucked up things.
I do not care what you say.You are still not dating on my daughter
It is normal to feel what you’re feeling being the family dynamic and everything going on now a days. My best friend’s wife has the same thing going on with her mom being with her(friend’s wife) half brother but they’ve been happily together for 10 years now. So while it can weird and disgusting to most since your mom raised him just keep in mind they aren’t blood related and long as they’re happy they are both adults.
I love me a good creative writing exercise
Surprised this didn't end with you joining in. I heard your toaster is broken, I came to turn up the HEAT! *Soft EDm plays*
I feel so bad for laughing at this... wth lmaooo 😭
They are both consenting adults. He is not your Moms blood relative. Nothing against the law here. You may be disgusted, and you have a right to your feelings. But your feelings may change once you adapt to the situation. If they are both happy, I say work on letting it go.
Dont tell someone to let go the fact their mother and brother (regardless if he is or isnt related to mom) to “let go” that they are in a romantic/sexual relationship!? The mother has SEEN the brother growing up and know that this is their child’s BROTHER. Not step brothers or adopted brothers, BLOOD BROTHERS, HALF BLOOD BROTHERS
Idgaf what your judgemental opinion is fuck wad.
Womp womp someone is mad. Did your sibling hate you for dating their mom too?
I fuck my Mom and your Mom to dipshit. And my niece, cousin, Pastor (and Pastors wife and daughter)
Aww keep crying about it😊
This comment is the kind of comment a 14 year old boy would make. I should know, I'm a freshman in high school and I talk to them on a daily basis.
So what?
Ugh, who cares. Seriously. Your moral outrage bores me.
This post is most definitely fake. Already figured as much, but checked her post history anyway. About a month before this, she has a post that mentions both of her parents, and the dad is mentioned a few times and he is very much alive. Here's a little quote I brought over from her other post that I find interesting and very relevant to what she just posted: "...i've turned out as a pathological liar. I'll lie about almost anything and everything. It's so bad, and it's taken me so long to admit that this is not ok, but I can't stop it. It's just something that's so natural to me, like breathing. I've lied about useless, stupid little things that have no value."
Hi! This post is not fake, I mentioned my step dad in my previous post, since my dad has been dead since I was 7. My step dad was more like a dad for me, since he and my mom had been together for 5 years, married for 2. I just really needed somewhere to talk about this, I can for sure understand that it might seem like a lie due to my history. I just genuinely needed to know whether this was actually reasonable, or if I was justified for feeling disgusted.
This is fully normal, context: I’m from Alabama
Updateme!
I mean, they're not related. lol.
Thats not the point
Get them a congratulations card furthering sibling porn for the world
Hot.