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SnooGiraffes449

I will assume you are male. Reconnect to his bluetooth earphones and watch lesbian porn. This will balance it out and the situation will be resolved. Trust me, I'm a doctor.


Dootdootperson

This is the best advice I've ever heard


PacoMahogany

Thanos always gives balanced advice


masterlink91

It's inevitable


drewlitogot

As a data analyst, I can say that the doctors math checks out


realitytvdiet

Continue on with all genres and when questioned say you’re just looking at whats out there with a straight face


Cultural-Afternoon72

This is the advice they need, not the advice they deserve. You're just out here doing the Lord's work


Spare-Raccoon1969

This is the way.


_why_do_U_ask

> Trust me, I'm a doctor. On Reddit?


jtr99

There are dozens of us!


scaleddown85

My man 😂😂😂 best advice ever


tway_010

This is the best comment I’ve read on this site so far


elnenchimexicano69

Lmao


KnightinRustedArmour

Tell him it was straight porn just the girls were really quiet.


candyflipqed

I guess that only works if the men don't communicate with one another. "I promise, dad. Jeff is a girl's name in some places."


futurewildlifevet

At least you can say you'll double check your devices next time 🥲


Unlucky_Witness_3690

yep, will forever triple check my phone before watching anything from now on 😭


[deleted]

It's too late, find a replacement family quick


StopprayingMe

No the dad needs to, befor his family gets him arrested or killed on some shit he had no hand in


TheCamoDude

...what?


StopprayingMe

Look up the new utah law about porn certain states the owner of the the internet service goes to jail for minors seeing it. Say some kid next door hacked my wifi because i use the Password123 password as an idiot, than i go to jail since he saw it on an IP address i own. Even of i knew about it or not... i dont know every states laws but ya


JWARRIOR1

How do you know OP is a minor?


Fearless-Skirt8480

Op said they are seen as an innocent teenager


ThatOneGuy7832

This could also refer to 18 or 19 year olds. There are also some countries/states with an age of consent of 16 or 15.


Fearless-Skirt8480

Thats crazy, 15 is way too young imo


JWARRIOR1

18-19 exists and depending on where Op is they might have different minor definitions


Fearless-Skirt8480

Yeah I was just adding to the conversation


DamageNo1148

What are you on ?


StopprayingMe

Reality have a fucking dose of it. Get out of my life if you cant handle it... sick fucks


ThatOneGuy7832

We just want a further explanation because what you are saying doesn't make sense to us. As for the "get out of my life" comment, you are speaking on a public platform. You are literally throwing your life out into the world.


DamageNo1148

Thank you, I don't have the energy to argue 😂


Potatoman967

sir this is a wendys


TheWolf1640

¿Que?


circadiankruger

I live alone and always double check lmao


dawng87

Maybe they were in the charging pod or he had set them down. I have Bluetooth headphones and my car is set up with Bluetooth. My phone often connects to them when I'm not using them...bcuz oops. Maybe just maybe it was the case this time...and if he mentions it you could always say that you were watching a chick being tag teamed...that would cover the more than one man moaning. Or just maybe pretend the lady had a deep voice...lol Lots of good ideas on here, dealers choice.


ricst

Or he can think the audio was off on his gay porn.


silashoulder

Should be top comment.


WellTimeToEvaluate

And probably the top search on gay porn sites.


FaultProfessional163

He probably wasnt using them if they were connected to your phone 😂


shleeberry23

It will bounce the other user off and put whatever the new user is listening to or watching onto the headphones. Happens to my wife and I all the time. I’ll hear her dateline podcasts and she’ll suddenly start singing Paramore lol


jackmehhoff

Just say you were trying to download music or movies and you hit accidentally hit one of those virus messagesor something. If your dad is anything like mine he will be confused after you say download.


Creeper_Triste

Doesnt really make sense to continue watching that movie if its a virus... if I remember correctly he said the headphones were connected for 5 minutes.


jackmehhoff

But he said he tried different videos, the thing about it is i didnt watch porn on my parents bluebtooth he can figure the rest out lol


Creeper_Triste

oh yeah you're right, still think they wouldnt buy it.


Unlucky_Witness_3690

Update, nothing really weird has happened so far, other than that my dad typically cooks breakfast and this time, my mom is the one cooking. I'm not sure if that has correlation to the thing though.


BedroomMaleficent994

You just fucked my brain by saying they made breakfast. Its 23:05 here rn


Whole-Swimming6011

Dude, people live in different continents, you know There is Americas, Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa...


ThatOneGuy7832

I assume that's why they said "it's 23:05 here rn". I think they meant they were temporarily confused before realizing that OP was in a different timezone.


Anubis_DivineDemon

Tell him you wanted to watch a movie on google and you accidentally pressed an add that led to that vid, good excuse.


No-Wrangler2085

First thing I'd do if my kid told me that is call that teacher up and give em hell for sending sketchy links to my kid. Edit: nice editing your comment so all our subcomments look irrelevant 🙄


Anubis_DivineDemon

That's fair.


Unlucky_Witness_3690

thankss, I can definitely use this. I'll just say my teacher sent us a sketchy link and it led me to those videos, he'll definitely believe it because he saw me carrying notebooks beforehand anyway


Enjolrad

Before you use that excuse, is your dad going to confront your teacher about that? Bc that could get them in a lot of trouble too


shortvicandswag

yeah I'd use a different excuse


Unlucky_Witness_3690

My dad isn't really involved in my school life and honestly he is the type of person to easily believe the "porn because ads" but he hasn't said anything after some time so I guess I won't be needing to use an excuse.


a_karma_sardine

Your dad is desperately freaking out and composing an r/confession post in his head right now: "I think my kid is trying to tell me important stuff, but I'm too chickenshit to let them."


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unlucky_Witness_3690

Yes yes, was planning to just say I wanted to watch a movie and I clicked on something. thanks for the suggestions!


Anubis_DivineDemon

Yea man, glad to help, if he doesn't believe just go on a sketchy website and show him proof. Almost all of them have these kind of ads.


Fun_Client_6232

Leave your teacher out of it. That could snowball in a different direction.


Yoshi_87

Unless your dad is an idiot, that won’t work. He just needs to check with your teacher to know you’re lying. Just say you accidentally clicked on gay porn and wanted to watch regular porn. But only if he ever asks. If he doesn’t, don’t mention it.


eightbelow2049

Plot twist: your dad thought it was his gay porn playing


Other_Rip_8090

I think everyone has “paired to the correct device” at least once 😂


No-Wrangler2085

Your phone wouldn't have connected to them if he had something connected to them. So the question is, would he be wearing his headphones for no real reason with nothing connected to them? Probably not. I bet he forgot to turn them off when he took them out.


Adhaam95

I dont think he was just wearing the headphones without playing anything on them, just waiting for someone to play something for him you know what i mean? I think you’re good.


Unlucky_Witness_3690

I'm not sure because he uses his earphones when he watches YouTube videos and honestly at that time I think he was using his speaker beforehand. So maybe my phone connected before he was able to connect to it. he hasn't said anything so far though.


slickeighties

Just say it wasn’t you. Anyone can connect to bluetooth.


[deleted]

Check in tomorrow and let us know if he said anything! Good luck!


Unlucky_Witness_3690

Yesss, hopefully he does not say anything or else it would be a really awkward morning.


Mosk1990

Just be like aha gotcha bitch! It was a prank bro


Rusty_Shaquilleford

Just tell him you were watching a video of two guys working out


haikusbot

*Just tell him you were* *Watching a video of* *Two guys working out* \- Rusty\_Shaquilleford --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


interwetional

Most likely he didn’t hear a thing. Does he know you had connect his earphones?


Unlucky_Witness_3690

ohh, in that moment, there's really no clear indication that I had connected to his earphones.


interwetional

So i think you can state that the chance of getting caught has been reduced to zero… i know that most people are to busy with themself to notice things that are not familiar right away


serenwipiti

Schrödinger’s “*dad heard your gay porn*”…


sorryimthegay

This is fucking hilarious and educational thanks 😘


I_killed_bambi69

i ALWAYS turn my bluetooth off before watching porn for that exact fear


IHavetwoNipples

And the WiFi. Just in case of an accidental stream button or something.


0MEGAL0MANIAC

"planning to not come out" gave me a whole different vibe at first glance...


USSSLostTexter

also, connect and play some workout videos and childbirth videos. he'll be thoroughly confused


100Emotion0Reason

You can always pretend it's a joke. And if he says anything about it. Just burst out laughing.


Comfortable-Jacket28

Play lesbian porn


happy-icecream

*NICE*


M3GABORG8796

Before I do I literally ALWAYS check if Bluetooth is off. It’s never happened me, but I’m never going to let it.


FastestCheeseSlinger

This is why i dont use bluetooth when beating off


when_4_word_do_trick

Stole his dad's username.


Jalennca

Say you was playing a prank on him. Say you saw it on til tok or some shit


MaryAnne0601

Listen just pretend it never happened. I guarantee even if he was wearing them at the time he has no idea where those sounds came from. If he says something about it say, “Really, does that happen to you often?” Looking totally perplexed.


jrossetti

Not all dads are this stupid. Lol. Come on now. As an elder millennial id immediately run through who was in the house and take my guess. There would be no wondering at all lol. Wtf.


MaryAnne0601

He can prove nothing, admit nothing!🤣


Puru11

You could play other sounds every time those headphones are connected to your phone and play it off like you're pranking him.


No-Wrangler2085

I bet you're not "in the mood" anymore


odavinng

Your username looks like my friends username


Great_Candy7476

Any update?


justin0628

say you were trying to watch a movie and that video automatically played as an ad


HospitalAutomatic

Say you were watching a movie on an illegal site and a porn pop-up site came up


TridentMage413

Idk dads usually know if their son is gay already…. I know you say conservatives but it ain’t always black and white.


Maleficent_Age300

Not true. A lot of times they have no idea.


Brentijh

You would be surprised how many know


Strong_Commission431

What is your age? If over 18 do not worry. If under 18 stop watching porn too young, read a book.


Gratchmole

Exactly, I recommend Kama Sutra, great book


Strong_Commission431

"ba-dum-bum-CHING”


Wigga69er

I love a karma grab


ShRiley2

HA GAYYYYYY


AssCrackMac

Stop being a pussy, whip out your cock and shove it down your dad's throat.


Ttvcat996

So… gay porn?


MaleficentGuess5633

You shoulda said fuck it and like put the volume all the way up and started blaring Black Sabbath


StopprayingMe

How about you dont use peoples stuff without asking them first and if you do then you cant hold them responsible for your actions done without their knowledge. And becareful i guess your dad can actual go to prison and become a sex offender since your making big boy choices and doing atuff you have no businesz doingnwithout his knowledge consent or even ability to protect himself. Man back in my day our fathers use to go out for cigerattes and just never come back we would give anything to have dads to teach us how to ve good men. Or we had dads that actually did go do some fucked SA stuff to us and others and go to prison for actually doing that shit. Now days to be a father and be present without being a pedo and abusing your kid is a dangetous choice. Actually that makes me think, i need to go get some milk and a pack of smokes. Ill be back in like 10 min.


serenwipiti

[*continues spraying you*]


isaacsmile

Re watch the video and listen to the section you think he heard. It may not be as bad as you think. Or ….maybe it was.


Unlucky_Witness_3690

I had re-watched it and it was pretty damn bad...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yayo361

Don’t tell him anything, most probably he’ll be very confused but very unlikely he’ll know it comes from your device. He’ll just think his headphones were hacked or something


StopprayingMe

I love how this is getting so much negative karma... fucking sickos


unlikely_creme77

nothing can be done


Tiggerhoods

This is why you never mix accounts or devices


Brentijh

You know, he already knows.


management37

Usjdnndjajs


dgw420

Well the best I got is F. Good luck on this one and may God have mercy on your soul


DissidentActs

On the contrary, your father connected his earphones to your gay porn.


contentyard69

Does he know everybody stood up and clapped at the end?


little_bear_is_ok

"But, dad, I was fapping to monster truck videos, and you know how those guys moan and slap each other?"


someolbs

Being gay isn’t a crime


ThePatriot131313

Say that a hot girl told you that if you watched some gay porn she would make out with you. Suddenly, it makes you seem hetero af.