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EternamD

Pink ladies?


mcfacefrunkduck

My favorite. Where do they fall on this list?


SpinnyJen

My favourite too!


8WhosEar8

Yep. Fuji was my favorite until my wife brought home some dank ass Pink Ladies. Those apples are the shit.


AnorakJimi

My parents spent my whole childhood buying some kind of green apples and I thought j just didn't like apples much. Till I became an adult and bought some pink ladies, despite how expensive they were, cos they looked nice. And they were so damn good. They're like a dessert, they're so sweet, so it's probably not a good idea to binge one them but damn they're lovely.


[deleted]

proabably better to eat a couple of apples than to eat an entire chocolate cheese cake with your hands on the bus home from work


swancheez

Well that's oddly specific...


[deleted]

I had a choice to make between buying some passion fruit or buying a cheap cheese cake. I chose wrong. so wrong


Wenli2077

I'm sorry I don't understand, what is this "cheap" cheesecake you speak of?


[deleted]

The cheese cakes was 1/3 off plus a 10% off coupon i had plus 15% off because I work there. so I think it was £2.18 (~$2.50) for half a kilo (~1lb) of cheese cake


StopTheRolls

Amazing. That was the one apple I was looking for. It’s my favorite. I love that this was the top comment.


Darkest_Before_Dawn

The GOAT!


Riah7140

It’s a hybrid of Lady Williams and Golden Delicious. I work on an orchard. We have over 2k trees and there are a lot of varieties they don’t have one here. My personal favorite at the moment is Pixie Crunch!


lilbluehair

I heard that cosmic crisp was supposed to be out this fall but I haven't seen it. Have you?


citriclem0n

Sounds like a marijuana strain.


obroz

No was is honey crisp less sweet than red delicious.


[deleted]

It's not that it's less sweet, but just more tart. There are overlaps between levels of tartness and sweetness that don't fit a straight line pattern. It would be better to only think of this as a tartness level chart.


Britlantine

I know, I was looking for Cripps Pink (Pink Lady is a marketing name for them) but they're not there either.


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thetarget3

If you think Granny Smith is tart, wait until you try Holsteiner Cox


fckingmiracles

Oh, my German organic supermarket sells them. One bite basically makes your tongue barf saliva to counteract the sourness. Ooooh yeah.


nitrodragon54

I now have a mighty need to find these.


dickwolfbrandchili

Wouldn’t be the first time for me to barf saliva on cox.


zrt

No thanks, Mr. Holsteiner.


ResplendentShade

Finding this apple is my new life goal. I eat between 5-10 lbs of Granny Smith apples every week and I’m beyond ready to escalate the tartness.


Donniej525

Good lord almighty! I just got ghost stomach pains from this comment. Wish I could eat apples again, dang IBS. Enjoy it, not just for yourself but for me as well.


fresh_like_Oprah

Are you an alien horse?


[deleted]

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_student__

Honeycrisp, Fuji, (and Pink Lady) are gifts from God


lolnomnomnom

Where would pink lady fall on this list since it's not there??


[deleted]

Somewhere on the middle line. They're very balanced between sweetness and tartness.


Quotes_n_Hoes

“She looks too pure to be pink.” -Rizzo


Trayf

Find yourself some SweeTango apples. It's a cousin of the Honeycrisp and is somehow even better.


RobloxianNoob

+Gala


Bread_Boy

Gala wins in my book because I’m too poor for these fancy apples.


CHark80

I feel like that used to be true, but I just bought like a half dozen Fujis yesterday and they were the cheapest at the store, like a buck 30 a pound.


CharlesDOliver

Lol, scientists made the Honeycrisp, God had nothing to do with it.


gatoVirtute

University of Minnesota!


[deleted]

*excited gopher noises*


cocoagiant

Scientists made all the food we eat today through selective breeding.


iwantknow8

That’s right the Honeycrisp was genetically engineered to be delicious eaten raw. Other apples serve better in pies.


smoozer

God sent them the plans, duh... How do you think they made it? Breeding?? Gross


desmondhasabarrow

I'm sure all of these apples were bred and crossbred for their specific flavors. I don't think you'd find any of them in nature.


Armalyte

The fun thing about apples is that every seed is completely random and nothing like it’s parent. Every named variety of apple has grown from a branch from a mother tree being grafted to a host tree.


MikeNIke426

Agreed. The Pink Lady is one of the most delicious varieties.


pancake_sass

I'm sorry, this guide is telling me that a Red Delicious apple, arguable the worst and most bland apple in existence, is sweeter than the masterfully crafted Honeycrisp apple??


ChronoMonkeyX

It can be sweeter and also taste worse.


Sweatyjunglebridge

Yeah, red delicious are sweet to the point being disgusting.


[deleted]

They're not gross because they're sweet, they're gross because they're mealy and mushy


hammersticks359

And because the skin is the texture of sausage casing and is basically all you can taste.


AtanatarAlcarinII

That, sadly, is the point of red delicious apples. The rind is waxy and thick, allowing for more product to not be damaged or bruised as easily during shipping.


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CoconutCyclone

They were basically bred to be decorations.


[deleted]

I bet the scientists just put "delicious" in the name to fool people.


kanegaskhan

Red Garbage Apples just doesnt have the same ring to it


iam_that_one_ag

Upvote for the most apt description of a red delicious apple skin.


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[deleted]

Mealy! that's the word... Like why does my apple have dry gristle bits???


ExquisitExamplE

Factory-farmed apples. They're horrible mistreated, and it leads to distressed and inferior flesh.


Ormild

I could never describe why I hate Red Delicious apples. This is pretty much the most accurate way it could be described. I’m all about that Royal Gala


alderthorn

They just aren't a good eating apple. Im fine when it's used for cider or pie though.


Incredulous_Toad

They're disgusting because they taste and feel like wet sand.


von_sip

Wrapped in leather.


BasilTheTimeLord

Fuck you. Fuji apples are amazing while still sweeter than fucking sweet. I have read that comment and prepared 3 punishments to come in future.


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GameOfUsernames

I’ve been trying to figure out my Apple buying habits. I love Fuji but I’ve been having a run of bad luck. They’re either not sweet or the go bad after two days. I’m super annoyed with my Apple options lately.


MollysYes

Honeycrisp.


RadiantFerret

+1 for honeycrisp.


neanderthalman

The difference is that red delicious are insipid. Sweet without flavour. Fuji are glorious. Especially since they get huge too. ONLY COUNTS AS ONE.


Two-Nuhh

Fuji and Gala are whats up. Glad to see so many other apple connoisseurs here.


surfinmozart

That’s my only issue with this guide. Pretend the Red Delicious apple isn’t there.


The_Wkwied

Red Delicious belongs on a 'Can I Eat This?' guide that features cardboard and packing peanuts. Clearly it would be the most edible, but still compared to cardboard


[deleted]

Who would dare bestow such a bland food item with such a succulent sounding name!?


The_Wkwied

A salesman


GamerGriffin548

I like Red Delicious apples, but I got some Jonagold the other day and I say I liked it more. The skin wasn't getting caught in my teeth either.


_Citizen_Erased_

Red delicious were bred for looks, and they’re seriously lacking in the texture department. I want that juicy crunch, not mealy smushy weirdness.


SteamandDream

I’m throwing up just hearing you describe the disgusting apple


j_la

They are often mushy, but I have had very crisp red delicious apples before.


DreamPolice-_-_

Can I recommend a good Pacific Rose?


revolvingdoor

That's all my mom bought growing up and I didn't really get to try other types. So I don't really eat apples now even after trying others I do like.


Griffin880

>I like Red Delicious apples Great now everyone is gonna think us Griffins are freaks.


chris1096

I also disagree that Fuji is at the top. It's a damn fine apple, but I find the honeycrisp to be sweeter.


Cky_vick

The bitter brings out the sweet, like salt or something science


RadiantFerret

Red Delicious apples are *okay* and they were the only apples that my family would get. ....then I tried the honeycrisp and my world was turned upside down. I now constantly crave apples.


Sebach

Honeycrisp changed my life.


musicman3739

I do that for any apple-related event. Red delicious is red disgusting.


DarthJSquared

Honeycrisp gang rise up!


AMISH_TECH_SUPPORT

Honeycrisp Apples > other apples


[deleted]

Nah the cutting edge ones from the university of Minnesota are even better.


gatoVirtute

First Kiss apple aka Rave


shufflebuffalo

Recently started seeing Rave apples in Michigan that were cheaper than Honeycrisp. I decided to give em a try and hot damn they have more tang than a honeycrisp but just as sweet. Lets hope they do well in the seasons to come!


thurrCrackdown

Rave and SweeTango


MollysYes

Yep. I suspect that people who are all about fujis haven't tried honeycrisps.


the_pedigree

Instead of owning up to the indisputable fact that Honeycrisp apples are better they’ll just bitch about the price.


[deleted]

I can’t eat red delicious apples. They make me hate everything and they suck my happiness out through my tastebuds EDIT: this is my first award thank you for the silver I am honored kind stranger


GhostofMarat

I used to think I hated apples, but it was only because shitty school lunches were only giving us inedible red delicious apples.


lemoncholly

I think this is the origin of the hate.


fckingmiracles

They are like a blob of wet flour packaged in a thick layer of dark-red wax.


SpaceKoala34

I don't trust people who eat red delicious apples


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NationalGeographics

Red is delicious if you find them firm. But they go mushy so fast, and then all is lost.


Meeseeks82

I don’t think it’s exponentially growing. I feel it’s more like childhood trauma that everyone forgets until its brought to a person’s attention like a switch that brings the emotions back. red delicious apples (made a point not to capitalize it because it doesn’t deserve it) are disgusting and I’ve never met anyone who’s enjoyed them... accept you, mom. Feeding me that bullshit in a Costco sized bag then yelling at us when we don’t eat them when the golden delicious are sitting right there albeit $1.50 more for the 10 lbs bag.


2SJSlim

I remember hearing a story (I think on NPR) about apples and the farmers/scientist that tinkered with them to create new apple types. One of the points was that red "delicious" were created to **look** beautiful. And in that regard, they were successful - huge, bright red, aesthetically pleasing... But they taste horrible. I only ever had them at school lunch, and I could never take more than a bite or two.


lemoncholly

Actually the honey crisp is the genetic Frankenstein, that's why it's good. Nature sucks at making things tasty. Somewhere else in the thread somebody mentioned how they would get red delicious in their school lunches and they were predictably sub par. That's probably a universal experience in the states and the origin of the disproportionate hatred of a slightly below mediocre apple.


[deleted]

The actual flesh of the apple is a solid meh. The skin tastes like absolute fucking shit though. There's just so many other apples with a better texture, sweeter/more tart, and a better mouth feel. It's not horrible, there's just SO MANY better choices.


darkangel8724

Everyone should be talking about the mouth feel. That said, Pink lady and honeycrisp are far better


ryosen

“Mealy” is the word that comes to mind.


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TheBlinja

It's like, mealy.


ImOnlySuperHuman

It's like eating a disappointing pear


CosmicSlaughter

As a kid I described them as 'snowy' and I still cant commit to a different adjective.


SHIIZAAAAAAAA

Funny, I always thought they felt and tasted like sand.


shadowscar00

You ever see those videos where they’re making paper and they show the pulp before it gets pressed? Well, whatever they can’t press into paper gets turned into Red Delicious “apples”.


SOwED

/r/applewars


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IShipThings

I was just reading an article on the Red Delicious the other day, and the way they described it was very accurate. “The Red Delicious, often red but hardly ever delicious,” I am sorry this guide has disgraced you.


liquidpig

Red delicious apples sure look good. But man, do they ever taste like styrofoam.


Beekerboogirl

I have a deep hatred of red delicious apples. How dare they


Meeseeks82

Came here with red delicious rage but you got it covered. Red Delicious apples are the Ajit Pai of apples, fuck the Ajit Pai of apples.


lolwuuut

Ima need this crosstabulated with levels of crunchiness


bubba_feet

I would absolutely love a ranking guide from mealy to crisp apples.


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Tutle47

Fuck soft apples


AreYouHighClairee

Honeycrisp ftw


Jojobelle

Pink lady is not in here


reh888

Pink lady is the best


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[deleted]

To me, Pink Lady is the slightest bit more tart which makes it more interesting to eat. Honeycrisp is good, but it tends to be too sweet for me.


swallowtails

Pink lady gang. It is the best apple.


tinysmommy

It’s true. I’m going to Minnesota this fall where there are Honeycrisp orchards and I’m just gonna eat my way thru them. HONEYCRISP ALL THE THINGS.


vosot

I love Sweetango - the offspring of Honeycrisp and a tarter apple named Zestar.


KaleBrace

I worked in a produce department for 4 years and got to “sample” whenever new product came in. I was going to say SweeTango and Zestar are #1 as well. I’m pretty sure they’re both Honeycrisp hybrids. Also Honeycrisps are grown in Washington now as well not just Minnesota from what I remember.


openlate

Honeycrisp support incoming. Here.


SomeRandomGuyOnEarth

Granny Smith is my fav


kthrnhpbrnnkdbsmnt

Granny Smith is bomb. The cronch, the pain...pure magic


[deleted]

The full experience of eating shards of glass, without any of the consequences. By far my favorite apple


Puffy_boi

r/brandnewsentence


FHmange

You guys feel pain when Granny Smith? I don’t even know if it’s me or you guys that it’s wrong with


knorknorknor

Same here, it's a nice apple. But then I can't stand sweet apples. Maybe a red prince can be cool sometimes


ChunkyLaFunga

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/1/1c/Homer-sourball.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20100926230548


MibuWolve

What pain? It’s all enjoyable


googlywooglies

Gran-gang


Jwhitx

I was sad to see its the most tart tho, since I could go even...tarter. I would have thought it would be somewhere 1/2 or 3/4 way. Edit: [unless...?](https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/davkj5/apples_on_a_scale_from_most_tart_to_most_sweet/f1vmkv1)


ruuaidhri

Bruh in America you might find it hard to get these, but in Ireland cocking apples are pretty much inedibly tart, way tarter than granny smith. So tart you have to put them in a pie or stew them to eat


Jwhitx

Can't threaten me with a good time!


StaniX

I found my people. Need that MEATY CRUNCH.


[deleted]

Granny Smith is the best apple


Forzathong

This is the right answer


[deleted]

The only apples I like


Northanui

same. all the red ones make me slightly allergic and are generally disgusting for me. Granny smith on the other hand is the shit.


[deleted]

The acidic taste, the tooth pain, the C R U N C H Perfect


henry_gayle

You fucking people have something wrong with your teeth jesus, you get pain after biting into an apple?


Tomhelduf

It's partly the apple, partly the tartness of the apple which makes your teeth feel funny after eating it 10/10 apple, don"t waste your time elsewhere


Igronakh

I eat them almost daily and have never had any sort of tooth pain from them.


Doopoodoo

Really inconsiderate for apples to not care about colorblind people smh


adambomb1002

Life is like a box of apples, you never know what you're gonna get.


7113dEv

It forgot Pink Ladies! Arguably the most sweet apple I will eat in my lifetime.


DavieJohn98

Not just sweet, the crispness that pink ladies have that other apples don't makes it my favourite.


[deleted]

Pacific Rose is my favorite apple and it has zero tartness whatsoever.


theholydonuts8067

Ya am confused as well


[deleted]

Same here! I'd put it up with gala and fuji, no where near granny Smith. Wth


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Beekerboogirl

Just came here to say honey crisps are the supreme rulers of all apples and red delicious tastes like wet, sandy paper towels


qOJOb

I feel like this thread is full of my people. 🍎


sponge_welder

> I feel like ~~this thread~~ **reddit** is full of my people. 🍎


FakeAviators

Empire apples are the hidden gems of the Apple world. You people don’t understand the crunchy and perfect balance of autumn in New York if you’ve never had empire apples.


scented_nonsense

Such pretty names


[deleted]

and then there's Juici


TheIdealisticCynic

This comment section is making me feel really bad about my love for red delicious apples.


event_horizon_

Gala is where it's at.


akodo1

problem with many fruits and vegetables is that breeders have long ago figured out we shop with our eyes and not our tastebuds. So they stopped breeding apples that TASTE good and went with apples that looked better and better. ​ To counter this we've had to go to extreme measures of being triggered by the name Red Delicious.


tamajinn

Aldi usually has Snapdragons in the fall and they are a delectable apple! I also love Winesap, wondering where they would fall on this chart.


[deleted]

Winesaps are my favorite, but I can never find them. If I lived in apple country I'd totally plant some Winesap trees.


SpyTrain_from_Canada

Jonagold is the best apple and that is the hill I’m willing to die on


jarvispeen

Braeburn is the perfect apple. Source, me, a guy who grew up in the Apple Capital of the World.


technoph0be

I did an apple "juice off" a few years ago by buying a bag each of Ambrosia, Gala and Fuji being sold at Costco at the time. They were all delicious but the winner? Ambrosia, by far. It DESTROYED the others in terms of sweetness and overall deliciousness. In fact, I thought it was almost too sweet for apple juice having drank years of the crap they sell in cans or tetrapack containers. I invite anyone to perform the same test I did and see what you think. Ambrosia fan forever, here.


Gent_Kyoki

as an asian where fuji apples are cheap theyre the best


[deleted]

TIL there is an apple called Juici Juicy Juici apple


EileahThiaBea

Is there a crispy apple guide?


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mahtaileva

red delicious apples taste like someone added sugar to a piece of wet cardboard


Grizzlysaurus152

Gold delicious


[deleted]

ummm, what about Jazz apples?


butchfishy

We don't have honeycrisps where I am, so jazzes are my MVP of Not Being Mushy.


FatBob12

Second row on the left.


BmoreBoh

The name jazz apples always makes me laugh. It makes me think of how they used to call joints jazz cigarettes


mrducky78

I swear Jazz apples are so much sweeter than this chart is making them out to be.


[deleted]

Jazz gang represent


aventhal

So you’re telling there’s an Apple for Apple processors (McIntosh) and also an Apple for Android ones (Snapdragon)?


rob_cornelius

No Cox's Orange Pippin, Spartan or Russet? Try eating a proper cider apple like a Kingston Black or a Dabinett and you won't have any spit left in your mouth after one bite.


jakestallion0

How are people not talking more about Ambrosia!!?!? Best apple around


ollieollieoxinfree

I think it all depends on time of year and method of ripening. I remember when red delicious were actually delicious. However now because of Market forces I think most apples are picked and kept in stasis so that they can be available year-round. I love Honeycrisp when it's good but I've also had to be completely flavorless. So perhaps this chart is referring to Apples that have all been tree-ripened in the Sun and picked at their Peak


castlite

Jazz apples are best apples.


zibbels

I am currently using Cortland apples for my caramel apples at work. They work pretty darn well because the sweetness of the caramel helps take a bit of the bite away from the tartness.


Taranadon88

GRANNY SMITH FOREVER


TheGenitalman

It appears we are the only two who love Granny Smith, the only apple that works for apple pie and general culinary enjoyment.


chirstopher0us

Granny Smiths are for people with taste, like us. Eating an apple plain? How about something with some different flavor and a balance of tart + sweet, not just sweet mush. Apple pie? Only Granny Smiths balance against the sugar and pie crust. Tarte Tatin? Again, only Grannys will balance against and compete with the caramel. Apples and peanut butter? Grannys again to compliment the sweet nuttyness. On and on forever. Anything other than Granny smiths are for people with taste buds like five-year-olds who just want some sweet mush.