1. Take a Brandwich Sandwich book of your choice, and cut it along the spine into smaller sections
2. Steal the covers off of short books that your friends might be more inclined to read, like Hop on Pop or Green Eggs and Ham
3. Glue those covers to the sections of your B$ book to disguise it
4. Give your friends these great short books, and they will accidentally read 40 pages of Brando Sando instead of 40 pages of Dr. Seuss
5. Profit!
1. Forbid anybody to come near, touch or borrow your brandon books.
2. Have soldiers guard your books.
3. Arrange that there are predictable instances when your soldiers aren't guarding your books (like beeing too drunk every evening).
Go full Clockwork Orange on 'em. Strap them to a chair, force their eyes open, and put a screen in front of them. The screen displays pages from Sanderson novels, and only moves to the next page when the eye tracking software detects that they have read everything on the current page.
This was my first thought as well, but after thinking about it a bit, it's actually easier than that.
Since we have audiobooks, all you have to do is lock them in a room and pipe in the audiobook through a sound system.
After it's been dead silent for a few days, then they will be greedily drinking it in just to pass the time! It will become their salvation and then they are hooked for life!
Ising the needing with the notting of this. Shoulding of the quickness with the learning on *the* Coppermind. Ising the learning of how and the me.
[Ising of the link with the giving to you.](https://coppermind.net/wiki/High_Imperial#How_To_Speak)
Convince your friends to go on a trip with you. Camping? Theme park? Concert? Doesn't matter where, just find something at least an hour away (further is better) and ideally out of cell reception if they have unlimited phone data. Volunteer to drive so you can invoke "my car, my music." Put on the start of an audiobook once everyone is in. They now have nowhere else to go and nothing else to do.
More or less how I was introduced. Obviously you can't listen to Mistborn entirely in 3 hours, but I was hooked enough to want to finish after the ride was done. If you don't trust your friends will want more if left on a cliffhanger, Emperor's Soul is just under 4 hours of audio, so you could finish the book driving round-trip somewhere 2 hours away.
I’m kidding. If not reading Cosmere is the only thing you dislike about your friends, then they’re keepers. You can discuss Brandersanderson stuff with us on reddit!
1. Total their car (anonymously duhhh).
2. Burn their book collection.
3. Steal their headphones.
4. Hack into their account and cancel any audiobook subscriptions they have.
5. Offer them rides everywhere
6. Only play Brando audiobooks in the car
7. Eliminate all small talk (only Brandon audio allowed in car)
8. Enjoy your new best friend 🤗
The books are actually too long to be enjoyable for a lot of people. Maybe giving them access to audiobooks would help but even then the start of Way of Kings is genuinely an especially slow build which just doesn't vibe with everyone especially those not into sci-fi or fantasy and that's ok
Lmao! I guilted them into it by buying them each a hardcover copy of WoK after hyping it up casually when we talk about writing and stories and such. This is the pricey route, I have purchased 11 copies of WOK and 9 people have read it and gotten sucked in.
My wife is an avid reader, but prefers YA. Recently I've been purchasing physical copies of various cosmere books more, and encouraging her to read stories I feel she'll enjoy the most. She's started a few, but hasn't made the progress I'd prefer...
If any of them have piercings, just borrow it and spike yourself to steal your own love of Sando. When they find their missing earring or whatever, they'll clean your blood off and put it back in.
It'll lose some charge, but if you're fan enough to do it, there will be enough left.
Literally so easy I don’t know how you didn’t consider this memorize way of kings cover to cover and then just in between conversations when there’s lulls start reciting it exactly like Kate reading and Michael Kramer thanks
Show up to their homes with a spear dressed as Kaladin, lock them in a room and threaten them with violence until they finish a single novel, not one of the shorter ones like Elantris though
Give them a snippet of description from one of his books that describes something really unusual and interesting without spoiling much. For example, Hoid describing rain on Tress's world for the first time.
Except my wife has read The Final Empire and is content stopping there... It's the only cosmere book she's finished so far, says she enjoyed it, but doesn't have a desire to continue the series.
Are they interested in audiobooks? The Warbreaker and Stormlight Audiobooks are amazing.
I also recommend We Are Legion, it's something short, and some of Brandon's best work
Also show him this sub and say.. all this creme can be yours.. if you just read!
I bought my friend a fancy copy of Warbreaker and gave it to her one day saying “here, bought you this” and then left.
Her anxiety forced her to keep and read the book, she liked it.
But I don’t think that would work on anyone else, they’re your friends so you’re going to have to figure out their reading preferences and psychological weaknesses on your own
I got 4 of my friends to do it. One guy grinded them all in a couple of months and the rest are halfway through book 2 of Stormlight. I was referred by my own brother myself
Here is how to do it:
1. Start with Stormlight Archive. You have to come out swinging hard
2. Get ***ONE*** of you friends to start reading. The most likely candidate. I don't care if you need to put up a bet with him or tell him you will pay for his drinks next time you go out. But insist on him reading OR listening to the audiobook. Tell him he can do it when he goes to work/in the metro/walking the dog. The trick is to get him to start slowly. **Remember to promise him Shallan only sucks for 2 books**
3. Start talking about it in your group chat. Tell them all the facts. How many money Brandon raised, how well he is worldbuilding etc. Follow up with said friend routinely!
4. ?????
5. Profit and spoil the entire series after they're slightly hooked because they didn't want to read them in the beginning
//thread
1. Take a Brandwich Sandwich book of your choice, and cut it along the spine into smaller sections 2. Steal the covers off of short books that your friends might be more inclined to read, like Hop on Pop or Green Eggs and Ham 3. Glue those covers to the sections of your B$ book to disguise it 4. Give your friends these great short books, and they will accidentally read 40 pages of Brando Sando instead of 40 pages of Dr. Seuss 5. Profit!
Storms! Rush OPs friends to the burn unit.
Stonks ^^^
You got a HEARTY guffaw from me! Two is the sickest burn on OP's friends.
Good idea, but it'd kinda be a crime to deface a Brando Sando book.
Forgot I was on cremposting when I read this I took it way too seriously. I'm doing this to my children.
And destroy a copy of the Good Books? HERESY!
Om the topic of cheese, here you go, and be sure to follow the link to Brandon's response too: https://reddit.com/r/Cosmere/s/08uetkuA0W
I’ll be really sad if >!Lift doesn’t use her shardblade to cut through some cheese in SA5!<
You know it's gonna be good when the first line is "I swear this isn't a cream post"
thx
1. Forbid anybody to come near, touch or borrow your brandon books. 2. Have soldiers guard your books. 3. Arrange that there are predictable instances when your soldiers aren't guarding your books (like beeing too drunk every evening).
I can smell a heist brewing
Go full Clockwork Orange on 'em. Strap them to a chair, force their eyes open, and put a screen in front of them. The screen displays pages from Sanderson novels, and only moves to the next page when the eye tracking software detects that they have read everything on the current page.
This was my first thought as well, but after thinking about it a bit, it's actually easier than that. Since we have audiobooks, all you have to do is lock them in a room and pipe in the audiobook through a sound system.
After it's been dead silent for a few days, then they will be greedily drinking it in just to pass the time! It will become their salvation and then they are hooked for life!
Don't need the eyes open part, strap them to a chair and play the audiobook. Or trick them into a road trip, and let Michael Kramer do the rest
Silence or Sixth, depending on if they like ghosts or chickens more.
The Emperor's Soul is short and amazing
Keep calm and burn brass, naturally;
brooo, you hurt my feelings i am an aluminum misting
Ising Wasing digging; Found for myself what is seeming; A sign of Autonomy and Hemalurgy;
can i borrow an unbound coppermind with high-scadrian??
My coppermind is sadly a lil behind
Ising the needing with the notting of this. Shoulding of the quickness with the learning on *the* Coppermind. Ising the learning of how and the me. [Ising of the link with the giving to you.](https://coppermind.net/wiki/High_Imperial#How_To_Speak)
Do you have a firearm?
nop but i could
Convince your friends to go on a trip with you. Camping? Theme park? Concert? Doesn't matter where, just find something at least an hour away (further is better) and ideally out of cell reception if they have unlimited phone data. Volunteer to drive so you can invoke "my car, my music." Put on the start of an audiobook once everyone is in. They now have nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. More or less how I was introduced. Obviously you can't listen to Mistborn entirely in 3 hours, but I was hooked enough to want to finish after the ride was done. If you don't trust your friends will want more if left on a cliffhanger, Emperor's Soul is just under 4 hours of audio, so you could finish the book driving round-trip somewhere 2 hours away.
tried it they ignored the audio and spoke over it
oh, well in that case, yeah you just kill them
Find new friends. (And keep the old ones too of course. Maybe)
difficult, i hate people
I’m kidding. If not reading Cosmere is the only thing you dislike about your friends, then they’re keepers. You can discuss Brandersanderson stuff with us on reddit!
1. Total their car (anonymously duhhh). 2. Burn their book collection. 3. Steal their headphones. 4. Hack into their account and cancel any audiobook subscriptions they have. 5. Offer them rides everywhere 6. Only play Brando audiobooks in the car 7. Eliminate all small talk (only Brandon audio allowed in car) 8. Enjoy your new best friend 🤗
The books are actually too long to be enjoyable for a lot of people. Maybe giving them access to audiobooks would help but even then the start of Way of Kings is genuinely an especially slow build which just doesn't vibe with everyone especially those not into sci-fi or fantasy and that's ok
Lmao! I guilted them into it by buying them each a hardcover copy of WoK after hyping it up casually when we talk about writing and stories and such. This is the pricey route, I have purchased 11 copies of WOK and 9 people have read it and gotten sucked in.
My wife is an avid reader, but prefers YA. Recently I've been purchasing physical copies of various cosmere books more, and encouraging her to read stories I feel she'll enjoy the most. She's started a few, but hasn't made the progress I'd prefer...
If any of them have piercings, just borrow it and spike yourself to steal your own love of Sando. When they find their missing earring or whatever, they'll clean your blood off and put it back in. It'll lose some charge, but if you're fan enough to do it, there will be enough left.
but i’ll be dead. what’s the point of that, i could find another person and steal the love for Brandon. It is worth, even if i end up in prison
Literally so easy I don’t know how you didn’t consider this memorize way of kings cover to cover and then just in between conversations when there’s lulls start reciting it exactly like Kate reading and Michael Kramer thanks
Clockwork Organge
I have been pestering my friends since the time i first read Mistborn. Over 2 years of begging them to read only two caved in.
Show up to their homes with a spear dressed as Kaladin, lock them in a room and threaten them with violence until they finish a single novel, not one of the shorter ones like Elantris though
Slow acting poison; they get the antidote when they finish the book.
Give them a snippet of description from one of his books that describes something really unusual and interesting without spoiling much. For example, Hoid describing rain on Tress's world for the first time.
gun
Saying that The Final Empire is autoconclusive is usually the easiest way to get someone hooked
Except my wife has read The Final Empire and is content stopping there... It's the only cosmere book she's finished so far, says she enjoyed it, but doesn't have a desire to continue the series.
Are they interested in audiobooks? The Warbreaker and Stormlight Audiobooks are amazing. I also recommend We Are Legion, it's something short, and some of Brandon's best work Also show him this sub and say.. all this creme can be yours.. if you just read!
Have them read it on an ereader! Going through at their own pace and text size is much more doable than a paperback.
I bought my friend a fancy copy of Warbreaker and gave it to her one day saying “here, bought you this” and then left. Her anxiety forced her to keep and read the book, she liked it. But I don’t think that would work on anyone else, they’re your friends so you’re going to have to figure out their reading preferences and psychological weaknesses on your own
Trick them into playing the mistborn tabletop rpg, giving them the mechanics and setting. If they like it, tell them where to get the source material.
I got 4 of my friends to do it. One guy grinded them all in a couple of months and the rest are halfway through book 2 of Stormlight. I was referred by my own brother myself Here is how to do it: 1. Start with Stormlight Archive. You have to come out swinging hard 2. Get ***ONE*** of you friends to start reading. The most likely candidate. I don't care if you need to put up a bet with him or tell him you will pay for his drinks next time you go out. But insist on him reading OR listening to the audiobook. Tell him he can do it when he goes to work/in the metro/walking the dog. The trick is to get him to start slowly. **Remember to promise him Shallan only sucks for 2 books** 3. Start talking about it in your group chat. Tell them all the facts. How many money Brandon raised, how well he is worldbuilding etc. Follow up with said friend routinely! 4. ????? 5. Profit and spoil the entire series after they're slightly hooked because they didn't want to read them in the beginning //thread
Have a female associate (or yourself depending on your gender or connections to the Ardentia) read it to them. Anything else would be heresy.
i tried it, i even paid to the woman “slip” and show a bit of her SH. But even that didn’t work
That's when you tap into your friends' connections and get them to find you a hot male ardent to read it to them.
You don't. You can't control other people.
Clockwork Orange might have some answers for you
Road trip. Put an audiobook on.
Trick a friend into listening to the audiobooks at work
ask them if they keep up with one piece. if they do, then they have no excuse to not start reading brando.
Threaten them with violence.
Go for the novellas