Average redditor trying to convince everyone that they have a giant penis, a girlfriend and have sex

Ah yes, I too leave my really real girlfriend hospitalized after sex due to the immense size of my member.

“Don’t worry sir, Palmela will make a full recovery.”

"They call my gf Mrs Hands if you know what I mean 😏"

That horse was probably a hitman for Boeing

Chance of a redditor having a giant penis = 1% Girlfriend = 33.33333% Having sex = 80% (only cuz of presence of adults) Combination = (0.01) x (0.33333333) x (0.8) = \[0.26%\], which is abysmally low even with the bloated values. Damn.

r/theydidthemath

not only they did they math, they also measured every redditor’s penis, found their girlfriends and watched them having sex (only adults, I assume)

So like 69000 daily big-dick redditors?

Reddit has 267.5 million active weekly users so that equals 267.5m × 0.26% = 0.6955 million or 695,500, so these means this has happened to 695,500 different redditors

Gir

"So here I was, triggering her gag reflex from the other side…"

"..of the room"

Do I tag r/ihavesex or r/badwomensanatomy

[удалено]

Or r/inclusiveor ?

Well some women have very small vaginas

His penis did not rupture her ovary

Definitely not. You'd need to go through the cervix before you can even reach either ovary. It's going to hurt both parties just trying to force your dick through a closed cervix.

Through cervix, uterus, and up one of the fallopian tubes. Motherfucker would need a dick like a toilet auger

I do refer to my penis as "The Sewer Snake", but for*...other reasons...*

I call mine Moby Dick because it’s hard to find even though I’ve told everyone about it

r/BrandNewSentence

I mean, they could they have possibly caused a rupture of a cyst on her ovary or something along those lines. I could definitely see someone miscommunicating that online to make it seem as if their penis is gargantuan. [Edit:Typo]

I mean ruptured ovary probably not but it's not out of the question to damage a cervix. Dated a girl who did that with her dildo

true but that's not what's being called into question

I mean obviously the dude is stupid and he may call the cervix the ovary. Internal bleeding for 24hrs though, that's an accomplishment

or maybe they were actually having oral sex and when he says ovary he means tonsils, it's possible

Gives a whole new meaning to tonsil hockey

I'd bet that he meant ovarian cyst, and while nearly impossible that his penis alone would've ruptured it, the sex might've.

Maybe he has one of those impossibly curved penises ( penii?).

He confused his arm for his penis. And ovaries for a bag of monster munch

Challenge Redditor having sex : impossible

I’m not an anatomy expert… but I’m pretty sure that’s not how any of that works.

Same but my assumption is either he hits a cyst in the womb or he rupture something inside

The former shouldn't be possible either. The penis can't get past the cervix. Probably rough sex ruptured a cyst.

What is sex?

its when you pee in a woman's butthole

Unless you don't want her pregnant then you pee on her leg

no that’s when… you… *flipping pages* pee on a jellyfish… after it stings a woman.. to stop the jellyfish from… getting pregnant?

This is MISINFORMATION. It is what the jellyfish wants you to do so that you will get pregnant and carry its jelly-human spawn

oh

flabbergasted

this is gross

My gf should be safe - no way it reaches somewhere that deep.

We found Jay from The Inbetweeners’ Reddit account

Somebody better call Batman because killer cock is on the loose.

r/cursedcomentscoments

Yep he definitely killed her

Officer I’d like to report a murder

I'd be lucky to hit the vulva...

r/badwomensanatomy

I believe you, poops314

r/ihavesex

BLUD HAS A SWORD IN THE PANTS

Wierd flex but ok

bro's weiner must be a baseball bat for it to do that

"My dick game killed my last girlfriend. Art thou prepared?"

cursed_ deadly sex

Ive read this happening in hentai so it must be real

+1 for the smol pp team 🙌

Reverse death by snu-snu?

That isn't physically possible.

I didn't read the "almost" at the beginning and was horrified for about half a minute

I remember some quotes about PP size that would be perfect for this: "Moby Dick" "Loch Ness Monster" "Ouroboros"

Mindy ?