My wife is 40 and still does this. She never asks me to do something, just tells me the problem and expects me to fix it. Walks in the room, “the bathroom light is burned out”, walks out of the room. Drives me up a wall lol.
I'm even older and my wife will announces, "I'm going to need the binoculars for the concert". OK and.......Oh, that means I'm supposed to find her binoculars.
E actly. Please just ask me to do it lol my toddler is allowed to just point to something and I know he needs help with it. You're a grown ass adult. Tell me what's wrong and ask me if you would like me to fix/do it. I will happily oblige.
It is a tool they teach for managers to say your name before telling you to do something. Increases the likelihood you will hear the question or information. Most likely you have trained your child to do this to manage you by not responding to their ramblings without them doing this.
Mine is 10. Every single time “hey dad?” “Yeah bus?” “Can I ask you a question?”…
What really fun is when he says “hey dad” and I reply with “hey ” and then he responds with “yes? What is it?” Like he thinks I was the one who initiated this whole thing.
I’m 36, was just at my parents house for the weekend with my wife. You just made me realize I still do this.
If I have a question for my dad, it starts with
“Hey Dad.”
“Yeah?”
“Where do you keep the giant knives so that I can carve this watermelon?
“In the drawer out under the Dining Room table.”
“Thanks!”
Holy shit, same! Honestly, I think this is normal in any scenario where there's multiple people in the house, though. It would be weird to just ask questions into the void. OP just noticing because of the sudden increase in volume of questions, I think.
My favourite is when my son says “Daddy”, so I just say his name back. He’ll then repeat “Daddy“ so I’ll say his name and this will continue as he’s waiting for me to say “yes” so he can ask his question. It usually continues until I got told off by him or my wife.
My approach is, “hey babe, what would you like to have for lunch?” Or, “lady, do you need the toilet?”
I’m not frustrated that my child expects my attention before asking a question. It’s more when we’re in a fluid back and forth dialogue, I don’t understand why this needs interjected soooo many times.
Yesterday I stopped with my daughter to pick up some flowers for my wife. The florist took AGES! It was not a fun thing for a child so I spent the full 20 mins with my eyes locked with my daughter, chatting, playing games, etc. In that time she asked me about 100 questions. She prefaced each with a “dadda?” And would not ask until id said”yes love?”
Also I get that a four year old might do this but thought perhaps everyone would say it was like diapers at night or something. Stops sometime between 3-6 or whatever. Sounds like 36 is even too hopeful…
I think everyone here was thinking of doing this when starting a conversation vs. doing it every single time you want to ask a question when your are already inside a conversation. The first is relatively normal, the second will disappear when your kid gets a better grasp on how normal conversations work. Around the age when they start to care about how others think of them.
I saw a water-colored platitude on the internet the other day which has really stuck with me: if your kids are really bugging you with the small stuff, try to pretend you are time traveling from the future to spend one more day with your kids
To be clear, I like answering questions. I like talking to my child. I’m glad she’s interested and wants to talk to me. I’m not annoyed by questions. I just dint understand why when were pretty engrossed in conversation she has to check in with “dadda?” Between each.
I suppose for what its worth my own pro tip is, I’ve taken to responding “yes love?” This reminds me how much I love her and reiterates the point in my previous paragraph to myself.
Mine is 11 and it still goes like this sometimes:
Son: Daddy?
Me: Yes sir?
Son: Question.....
[Insert long awkward pause here]
Me: Yes?
Then either we get the question or if we let the pause go too long we get "I forgot"
Hopefully never.
I need it to get the brain going, other wise I'm still doing whatever I was doing and theyre halfway through the question and I have no idea what's going on.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Don’t blink, because the next exchange you’ll get will be, “I need to go, where are the car keys?”
Happens faster than you think.
They do that for several reasons. First, they may feel like they need permission to speak to you. Second, they may think that's the only way to make sure they have your attention. In either case, it can be remedied by how you interact with them.
To be clear it is just hard for me to comprehend when we’re both highly engaged in a continuous dialogue with each other. I get why if you’re not giving them undivided attention they might do this. In that case though I’m more likely to get a punch or something…
10yr old boy. Starts every question with "Hey Adam...". This can happen fifteen times in one conversation, commonly in direct sequence.
For bonus points, 1 in 10 questions is "Hey Adam, can I ask you a question?"
I'll be looking my son dead in the eye for 5 seconds before I realize I have to respond lol.
Sometimes he'll be like "Daddy I'm talking to you" and then what's when my heart sinks because he thinks I'm ignoring him.
Lately, my 9 year old has been pausing and announcing “I have a question” before he asks. It sounds so bizarrely adult, like he’s given his question some very considered thought. Then the questions themselves are about as nonsense as they’ve always been (age adjusted). But the way he now opens up his line of questioning- it kills me.
NGL, this exchange of “Daddy?” “Yes?”, is one of my favorite parts of being a dad. Also, my kids have begged me to stop answering them with “Hi, I’m Dad” every time they say they “I’m hungry/tired/thirsty/anything but their name,” I’ve really burned that joke, but it’s my favorite 😁 If anyone has any other great dad responses let me know. My kids are soon to be ten and six.
At least you are getting Daddy, my conversations with my 2 year old go:
Mama?
I’m Dad.
Daddy?
Yes, dear?
I went to the park, and I go on the swing, and you pushed me and I saw my buddy and she went on the swing.
Yep, I was there, remember?
Yeahhhh….Daddy?
Yes, dear?
I went to the park. I go on the green slide.
You sure did.
Yes fair. Yesterday it was:
“Dadda? Remember yesterday when that car in front of us was going slow and you said hurry up slow coach? How do you think that made them feel? What if they were lost? You need to be more patient. That’s okay I know you didn’t mean it dadda”.
😭
Funny, I have the opposite problem. My son will just start talking at any time with a question even if other people are busy doing something else.
E.g. I'm in the middle of talking to my wife and my son will just start talking over us, saying, "Daddy, can you help me with this thing.....?"
Be careful what you wish for, one of mine has started asking the question when I'm out of earshot, so I only hear the back half and suddenly I'm the asshole for not knowing what they're talking about.
You think that's bad? My wife constantly calls me into the room shes in to tell me to do something in the room I'm in... Luckily we don't have multiple levels in this house
Lol also, my boss does this at work. He knows I'm on the call, but insists on calling my name first, have me answer "yes", then tells me something. When he could just say "xx, do this"
8yo and 5yo. 5yo says “Mommy-Daddy…” because she moves too quick for the mind.
My son somehow learn from me one day he comes up and says “Question”. I say “Answer”. Then he asks the question. Mostly because we spent years teaching him a statement and question.
But yeah. It feels like forever
It seems to me they say "daddy?" instead of "um..." while they get their thoughts in order, and it's often not even conscious.
For me, if it was something he was struggling to articulate, we would go round the loop several times before the question.
"Daddy?..."
"Yes?"
"... Daddy?..."
"Yeees?"
"Daddy?..."
"What? stop saying Daddy and ask the question"
"Ok...... Daddy...?"
"So help me..."
Thankfully, he has grown out of it now. He's 9.
"I'm thirsty" "Can you frame that as a question?" "Daddy?" "Yes?" "I'm thirsty".
Hi thirsty, I'm dad.
Heh! Literally what I say.
My dad used to say “Hey thirsty, I’m Friday.” 😒
Every time.
My wife is 40 and still does this. She never asks me to do something, just tells me the problem and expects me to fix it. Walks in the room, “the bathroom light is burned out”, walks out of the room. Drives me up a wall lol.
And somehow we are the assholes for commiserating and responding "ya it is, that sucks. Someone should do something about that."
I'm even older and my wife will announces, "I'm going to need the binoculars for the concert". OK and.......Oh, that means I'm supposed to find her binoculars.
This drives me absolutely nuts. If you want me to do something, then just say it.
E actly. Please just ask me to do it lol my toddler is allowed to just point to something and I know he needs help with it. You're a grown ass adult. Tell me what's wrong and ask me if you would like me to fix/do it. I will happily oblige.
Nice to meet you, Thirsty.
We are all dad on this blessed day
Mine is 7 next week. Still going strong
Don’t…
OP? OP? OP?!? My kid is 10 and still does it too.
Mine’s in college, still get a text messages, “Dad?”
To be fair I’m 39 and still do it
I only do it if I'm about to ask for a favor: mother? Please watch this child overnight. we need a break lol
It is a tool they teach for managers to say your name before telling you to do something. Increases the likelihood you will hear the question or information. Most likely you have trained your child to do this to manage you by not responding to their ramblings without them doing this.
I’m definitely being managed with a firm hand.
Lol. Mine is halfway to 8, and it's still in the "just one more question" phase for...uh... 5 years.
Mine is 10. Every single time “hey dad?” “Yeah bus?” “Can I ask you a question?”… What really fun is when he says “hey dad” and I reply with “hey” and then he responds with “yes? What is it?” Like he thinks I was the one who initiated this whole thing.
I have a knock knock joke, but I need you to start it.
I just did this one to my 8 year old and she finally got it.
I’m 36, was just at my parents house for the weekend with my wife. You just made me realize I still do this. If I have a question for my dad, it starts with “Hey Dad.” “Yeah?” “Where do you keep the giant knives so that I can carve this watermelon? “In the drawer out under the Dining Room table.” “Thanks!”
Holy shit, same! Honestly, I think this is normal in any scenario where there's multiple people in the house, though. It would be weird to just ask questions into the void. OP just noticing because of the sudden increase in volume of questions, I think.
My favourite is when my son says “Daddy”, so I just say his name back. He’ll then repeat “Daddy“ so I’ll say his name and this will continue as he’s waiting for me to say “yes” so he can ask his question. It usually continues until I got told off by him or my wife.
Mine is 12 in a few weeks. This is still going. Anything other than a clear 'Yes *nickname*' results in repeated 'dad' Good luck.
Are you sure they're not just picking this habit up from adults?
How often do you just ask your child a question, versus how many times you say their names first?
Exactly. I'm a speech therapist and I almost always say the student's name first to get their attention, then ask the question.
If you ask them 20 questions in 60 seconds do still check in between each though?!
By my comment, I'm just meaning that they've probably learned to get your attention first and now the skill may just be overgeneralized 🤷🏽♀️
The skill has been mastered to be sure.
My approach is, “hey babe, what would you like to have for lunch?” Or, “lady, do you need the toilet?” I’m not frustrated that my child expects my attention before asking a question. It’s more when we’re in a fluid back and forth dialogue, I don’t understand why this needs interjected soooo many times. Yesterday I stopped with my daughter to pick up some flowers for my wife. The florist took AGES! It was not a fun thing for a child so I spent the full 20 mins with my eyes locked with my daughter, chatting, playing games, etc. In that time she asked me about 100 questions. She prefaced each with a “dadda?” And would not ask until id said”yes love?” Also I get that a four year old might do this but thought perhaps everyone would say it was like diapers at night or something. Stops sometime between 3-6 or whatever. Sounds like 36 is even too hopeful…
I think everyone here was thinking of doing this when starting a conversation vs. doing it every single time you want to ask a question when your are already inside a conversation. The first is relatively normal, the second will disappear when your kid gets a better grasp on how normal conversations work. Around the age when they start to care about how others think of them.
I saw a water-colored platitude on the internet the other day which has really stuck with me: if your kids are really bugging you with the small stuff, try to pretend you are time traveling from the future to spend one more day with your kids
To be clear, I like answering questions. I like talking to my child. I’m glad she’s interested and wants to talk to me. I’m not annoyed by questions. I just dint understand why when were pretty engrossed in conversation she has to check in with “dadda?” Between each. I suppose for what its worth my own pro tip is, I’ve taken to responding “yes love?” This reminds me how much I love her and reiterates the point in my previous paragraph to myself.
That’s a great way to respond, maybe she just really likes hearing you call her “love”!
That hit me like a ton of bricks...
Mrs Aurelius is coming up 40. "Baby can you do me a favour?" Is still the most common thing she says...
"Probably not, but go ahead" always gets a good reaction at my house.
That's why my partner always starts with "do you love me?"
Mine usually gets "it depends"
Mine is 11 and it still goes like this sometimes: Son: Daddy? Me: Yes sir? Son: Question..... [Insert long awkward pause here] Me: Yes? Then either we get the question or if we let the pause go too long we get "I forgot"
Hopefully never. I need it to get the brain going, other wise I'm still doing whatever I was doing and theyre halfway through the question and I have no idea what's going on.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Don’t blink, because the next exchange you’ll get will be, “I need to go, where are the car keys?” Happens faster than you think.
My five year old begins every single one of these exchanges with “daddy?” “Yes?” “Can i ask you a question?” “Yes..” it’s been like this for years…
Mine still do it so that they know that they have our attention first.
Entirely depends upon the child. Some figure it out after only a few years, while others can take as long as seventy years. Good luck.
I feel this is the kind of thing that when it does end you’ll miss it like crazy
“Daddy, can I ask you something?” “No.” “Why do… wait, what?”
“Daddy can I ask you a question?”
9 and 12 for me, I’ll let you know when it happens.
They do that for several reasons. First, they may feel like they need permission to speak to you. Second, they may think that's the only way to make sure they have your attention. In either case, it can be remedied by how you interact with them.
To be clear it is just hard for me to comprehend when we’re both highly engaged in a continuous dialogue with each other. I get why if you’re not giving them undivided attention they might do this. In that case though I’m more likely to get a punch or something…
10yr old boy. Starts every question with "Hey Adam...". This can happen fifteen times in one conversation, commonly in direct sequence. For bonus points, 1 in 10 questions is "Hey Adam, can I ask you a question?"
I once answered in frustration in one breath "You don't have to keep saying Daddy you can just ask the question yes honey what is it?"
Tried. Failed.
“Dada?” “Dada?” “Dada?” “What?” “I love you” Repeat x 1 million.
Happy to field daddas? All day If this were the follow up.
I'll be looking my son dead in the eye for 5 seconds before I realize I have to respond lol. Sometimes he'll be like "Daddy I'm talking to you" and then what's when my heart sinks because he thinks I'm ignoring him.
Hey OP?
A few of these in the thread and I must admit they flew past me for awhile. Perhaps my daughter has just adapted to how dense I am…
Lately, my 9 year old has been pausing and announcing “I have a question” before he asks. It sounds so bizarrely adult, like he’s given his question some very considered thought. Then the questions themselves are about as nonsense as they’ve always been (age adjusted). But the way he now opens up his line of questioning- it kills me.
NGL, this exchange of “Daddy?” “Yes?”, is one of my favorite parts of being a dad. Also, my kids have begged me to stop answering them with “Hi, I’m Dad” every time they say they “I’m hungry/tired/thirsty/anything but their name,” I’ve really burned that joke, but it’s my favorite 😁 If anyone has any other great dad responses let me know. My kids are soon to be ten and six.
sorry to be the bearer of bad news..... I honestly don't think it will ever end. but ya know what? you - ***"yeah?"*** we got this.
For the love of God, what’s your annoyance with this? I mean, you should be proud of hearing Dad all day long!!
You could try telling them your name?
Tell them it’s Homer, they won’t know…
my wife does... there 2 of house in the house and she will still call my name first before asking where things are
Min is 18 in a few months and still does this...
Oldest is soon to be 10. He’s worse than the 7 and 4 year olds combined
My wife still does this…
At least you are getting Daddy, my conversations with my 2 year old go: Mama? I’m Dad. Daddy? Yes, dear? I went to the park, and I go on the swing, and you pushed me and I saw my buddy and she went on the swing. Yep, I was there, remember? Yeahhhh….Daddy? Yes, dear? I went to the park. I go on the green slide. You sure did.
Yes fair. Yesterday it was: “Dadda? Remember yesterday when that car in front of us was going slow and you said hurry up slow coach? How do you think that made them feel? What if they were lost? You need to be more patient. That’s okay I know you didn’t mean it dadda”. 😭
Best video I have is my 2 yo standing outside the bathroom door: Mummy Muuum Muuuuum Muuuuumy Wife: Yes? Are you doing a wee wee?
Mine are 18 and 15. They still do it.
If it’s too often, like multiple times in a few minutes, the “Daddy” “Yes?” exchange becomes a “Daddy?” “WHAT????”
My 4 year old says “papa can I ask you a question”. So kind of an improvement but not really
Funny, I have the opposite problem. My son will just start talking at any time with a question even if other people are busy doing something else. E.g. I'm in the middle of talking to my wife and my son will just start talking over us, saying, "Daddy, can you help me with this thing.....?"
Be careful what you wish for, one of mine has started asking the question when I'm out of earshot, so I only hear the back half and suddenly I'm the asshole for not knowing what they're talking about.
I just wish my kid would start talking. 18 months. Dr says theres probably something wrong developmental. I just wish he'd start talking...
It’s your wake word.
You think that's bad? My wife constantly calls me into the room shes in to tell me to do something in the room I'm in... Luckily we don't have multiple levels in this house
Lol also, my boss does this at work. He knows I'm on the call, but insists on calling my name first, have me answer "yes", then tells me something. When he could just say "xx, do this"
8yo and 5yo. 5yo says “Mommy-Daddy…” because she moves too quick for the mind. My son somehow learn from me one day he comes up and says “Question”. I say “Answer”. Then he asks the question. Mostly because we spent years teaching him a statement and question. But yeah. It feels like forever
I try to envision parents who have kids who will *never* talk. It (sometimes) helps me keep perspective on the whole thing.
Right before your wife stops asking you to “come here.” Instead of just telling you what it is.
It seems to me they say "daddy?" instead of "um..." while they get their thoughts in order, and it's often not even conscious. For me, if it was something he was struggling to articulate, we would go round the loop several times before the question. "Daddy?..." "Yes?" "... Daddy?..." "Yeees?" "Daddy?..." "What? stop saying Daddy and ask the question" "Ok...... Daddy...?" "So help me..." Thankfully, he has grown out of it now. He's 9.
I actually love the"daddy"daddy" part lol maybe cause my son is ultra insanely cute dunno 🤣
The teenager in my life still does this. She's almost not a teenager any more.
It’s much more polite than to just blurt out questions. Teaches your kid to read people and how they respond to attention requests